May NFL News/Views: Who the fuck is Tom Brady?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > May NFL News/Views: Who the fuck is Tom Brady?

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grill youre saelf: Jan 22, 2006

Raku posted:

The ideal male form

Who is this?

# ? May 8, 2018 04:44

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 17:25

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

grill youre saelf posted:

Who is this?

our new punter we drafted from the veldt

# ? May 8, 2018 04:51

sexy tiger boobs: Aug 23, 2002; Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.

iospace posted:

Well, considering goldens are the derps of the dog world

Lovable, loving derps

Yellow lab. Still derpy

# ? May 8, 2018 05:17

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Abugadu posted:

our new punter we drafted from the veldt

He'll learn. If he makes the team then this time next year he'll probably be more cut than any of us

# ? May 8, 2018 06:35

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Abugadu posted:

our new punter we drafted from the veldt

And now I'm thinking about NFL scouts throwing hunks of well cooked meat onto college campuses to find their next prospect.

# ? May 8, 2018 07:19

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Nervous posted:

And now I'm thinking about NFL scouts throwing hunks of well cooked meat onto college campuses to find their next prospect.

*trudges through a moderate snowfall, carrying a sack, onto the quad*
*stops to rummage through it, pulling forth the Manas steak, clearing a spot on the ground for it, and hides behind a tree*
*waits*
*waits*
*waits*
*waits*

quietly, the lid of a nearby dumpster pushes open a crack - the scout clutches his stopwatch tightly

the grizzled husk of Ryan Leaf flops out, and huffs towards the spot, steam erupting from its labored breaths

*starts throwing snowballs at it* "Goddamn it get away from that, that took me three hours to make, get back"

# ? May 8, 2018 08:01

Raku: Nov 7, 2012; Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

grill youre saelf posted:

Who is this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUJukTGUaJc

Legatron

# ? May 8, 2018 13:22

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

I have absolutely no clue whether JK Scott is gonna be BJ Sander or Johnny Hekker and to be honest I'm a little worried

# ? May 8, 2018 13:33

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

https://twitter.com/barry/status/993848388901855232?s=19

# ? May 8, 2018 14:49

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Hot Diggity! posted:

https://twitter.com/barry/status/993848388901855232?s=19

That will probably be my obit as well.

# ? May 8, 2018 14:54

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

After the Eagles won Super Bowl 52, the NFC East became the first division to have 4 Super Bowl winning teams in it. But that doesn't tell the whole story

Dallas Cowboys - 8 Appearances(5 wins)

Washington Redskins - 5 Appearances(3 wins)

New York Giants - 5 Appearances(4 wins)

Philadelphia Eagles- 3 Appearances(1 win)

That totals at 21 combined Super Bowl appearances and 13 Super Bowl Wins.

An NFC East team has played in 40% of the SB's, and won 25% of them.

The closest division is the AFC East with 20 appearances but only 8 wins

Take a Super Bowl at random. There's a 40% chance a current NFC East team played in it

# ? May 8, 2018 16:06

waah: Jun 20, 2011; Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

Okay, but the NFC East is still the worst.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:09

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

waah posted:

Okay, but the NFC East is still the worst.

In the words of Scott Steiner "The numbers don't lie"

# ? May 8, 2018 16:10

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

quote:

New Yorkers typically wait until they're collecting Social Security before moving to Florida. The 27-year-old Catanzaro got a head start by signing with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Nobody should begrudge Catanzaro for signing a three-year, $9.75 million deal with the Bucs, because his $3.75 million guaranteed is a lot of loot. But my understanding is that the veteran was looking for any opportunity to avoid playing in the cold.

Perhaps the Jets should have beefed up their offer to include a Gor-Tex coat from the Costanza Collection.

Catanzaro was born and raised in South Carolina before kicking at Clemson. He spent his first three NFL seasons with the Cardinals. In other words, he basically kicked in idyllic conditions for most of his life.

Maybe The Cat Man should be re-named The Bubble Boy. (Let's see if he knows who invaded Spain in the eighth century).

quote:

According to Manish Mehta of the New York Daily News, former Jets kicker Chandler Catanzaro is apparently somehow soft because he preferred a warm-weather destination in free agency.

Catanzaro grew up in South Carolina, and spent his first three years playing in Arizona. Where it�s, you know, warm. This offseason, he signed with the Buccaneers, where he gets to enjoy pleasant weather and the absence of state income taxes. And also, not playing for the Jets.

The Buccaneers have actually been worse at football lately than his previous team (26-54 the last five years, to the Jets� 32-48), but it�s not as if either team is a contender to win the Super Bowl this season.

So Catanzaro was offered a three-year, $9.75 million contract with $3.75 million guaranteed. And he chose to accept it in a place where he�d be happy. Which seems normal, unless you�re the kind of twisted individual who finds some glory being on a bad team and cold at the same time.

lol at the ny media

# ? May 8, 2018 16:35

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

God if that article doesn�t capture the insufferable attitude NYCers that are down here have towards people who hate the cold.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:41

A Man and his dog: Oct 24, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Ehhhh it's ok to not like cold weather ?!?!

# ? May 8, 2018 17:12

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Cold weather is loving stupid. It's just annoying to have that many different sets of clothes and spend the time preparing for it.

gently caress winter.

# ? May 8, 2018 17:20

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

https://twitter.com/tmz/status/993882458847297537?s=21

# ? May 8, 2018 17:23

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

I guess OD'ing is "a reaction".

# ? May 8, 2018 17:33

the mean lunch lady: Jun 24, 2009; went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious

Hot Diggity! posted:

https://twitter.com/barry/status/993848388901855232?s=19

literally lol'd at work

# ? May 8, 2018 17:37

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Cold weather is loving stupid. It's just annoying to have that many different sets of clothes and spend the time preparing for it.

gently caress winter.

You have different clothes for winter?

# ? May 8, 2018 17:42

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

i have a t shirt, but with longer sleeves that go past the elbows and all the way to the wrists

# ? May 8, 2018 17:45

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

a neat cape posted:

You have different clothes for winter?

# ? May 8, 2018 18:03

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

I hate winter but also decided to move to Chicago so idk where I'm at mentally

# ? May 8, 2018 18:15

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

How can you guys be talking about winter. It's already 90 degrees outside and it's only 10:30, in my mind winter might as well be on the moon

# ? May 8, 2018 18:23

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Play posted:

How can you guys be talking about winter. It's already 90 degrees outside and it's only 10:30, in my mind winter might as well be on the moon

In NC it was 80 in February then never over like 60 all of March and now its 90 every day.

Please kill me.

# ? May 8, 2018 18:43

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:

In NC it was 80 in February then never over like 60 all of March and now its 90 every day.

Please kill me.

Things are perfect here in Asheville.

# ? May 8, 2018 18:46

The Dave: Sep 9, 2003

I think Philadelphia has finally balanced out but we were having really dramatic swings like 40 one day, 60s - 70 the next. Feels like it's getting worse unless this is one of those getting old things.

WEATHER CHAT!
(Food chat get on deck)

# ? May 8, 2018 18:54

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

If only there were a chat thread

# ? May 8, 2018 18:59

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Joey Freshwater posted:

If only there were a chat thread

Could always use the poop thread for chat I guess. :shrug:

Edit: Since I'm here and just stumbled on this.

https://sports.theonion.com/is-andrew-luck-fully-recovered-from-his-quadruple-amput-1825592390

Quiet Feet fucked around with this message at 19:34 on May 8, 2018

# ? May 8, 2018 19:21

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

I moved to LA so I can be chilly every time there is a breeze. I'm chilly right now and wish I had a vest or something.

# ? May 8, 2018 20:28

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

So yeah, Reuben Foster is a shithead.

# ? May 8, 2018 20:56

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

whypick1 posted:

So yeah, Reuben Foster is a shithead.

quote:

▪ Police found two weapons in the house, a loaded .38-caliber pistol and a Sig Sauer short-barreled rifle. The latter was found on the floor of the bathroom with a loaded 30-round magazine and a round in the chamber.

Huh. I wonder what that is