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Mycroft Holmes posted:oh god, what did he do? Barbecued his dick for an hour.
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May 23, 2018 10:30
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Turpitude II posted:Barbecued his dick for an hour. That's not nearly long enough to develop a good bark, I'm an expert. You see, the secret to a good BBQ is
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May 23, 2018 10:40
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A nice dry rub.
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May 23, 2018 10:49
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Solice Kirsk posted:That's not nearly long enough to develop a good bark, I'm an expert. You see, the secret to a good BBQ is Gettin' dangerously close to chili talk there
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May 23, 2018 12:54
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Somfin posted:Gettin' dangerously close to chili talk there God I just tried to go over the list of things goons will start a civil war over and it’s just such a long list.
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May 23, 2018 13:22
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VanSandman posted:God I just tried to go over the list of things goons will start a civil war over and it’s just such a long list. Watch me derail any thread by declaring I have a no-onions policy.
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May 23, 2018 13:39
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VanSandman posted:God I just tried to go over the list of things goons will start a civil war over and it’s just such a long list. Making lists? THAT'S ON THE LIST
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May 23, 2018 13:42
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my pitbull sous vides your onion surplus
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May 23, 2018 13:43
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sneakyfrog posted:my pitbull sous vides your onion surplus *wheezes into thread breathlessly* did somebody say very specific Star Wars details?
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May 23, 2018 13:59
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TheKennedys posted:*wheezes into thread breathlessly* did somebody say very specific Star Wars details? No they are discussing rear end wiping directionality and sitting vs standing.
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May 23, 2018 14:02
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sneakyfrog posted:my pitbull sous vides your onion surplus i <3 my pit even got him circumcised cuz it looks cool af
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May 23, 2018 14:13
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syscall girl posted:i <3 my pit I didn't know a weenie trim would help with stancing the dog thanks
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May 23, 2018 14:14
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CzarChasm posted:No they are discussing rear end wiping directionality and sitting vs standing. I stand when I poo poo and sit when I wipe (left to right), it's the only way
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May 23, 2018 14:44
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Just lmao if you’re not doing a handstand and wiping counterclockwise
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May 23, 2018 15:45
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I use one of those Dyson air blade things to blast air up my rear end This has nothing to do with hygiene its just a suggestion for yall
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May 23, 2018 15:48
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Spread your cheeks and let the remainder air dry. Eventually it will just flake off naturally.
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May 23, 2018 16:06
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I don't wipe 'cause girls don't poop.
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May 23, 2018 16:23
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Baron von Eevl posted:I used to do the odd open mic in college and there was always one guy who thought he was just naturally funny and didn't have to prepare anything, and he was never as funny as he thought he was. i went to a bar that was doing an open mic and i forgot i had taken some klonopin earlier so after a few drinks i was a sloppy blacked out mess and apparently i decided to try my hand at slam poetry. i signed up to perform and wrote a slam poem in a text message to myself. i don't remember writing it or performing it, i found the poem in my phone the next day and didn't know wtf it was until people started telling me how great my "performance" was the night before. like, people i didn't even know, finding me on facebook and messaging me, telling me i was an amazing slam poet. the slam poem: quote:my dog was in the yard apparently i shouted the bold caps words with much feeling and emotion, delivering a raw and powerful and very serious performance. somehow i did not laugh or crack a slow smile while saying, or yelling, any those words. i made an angry somber face the whole time. the following week at the open mic night, a pretty lady with red hair and a big butt who was going to play her guitar that night told me she remembered my slam poem and found it very impressive and she asked me if I could help her tune her guitar before she played, so I went behind the stage with her but she didn't need help tuning the guitar, she just wanted to give me a hickey which was weird because we were both like 30  I think she, and everyone else, thought i was delivering a serious poem. I may not remember writing it but after reading it im pretty sure it was not supposed to be a serious poem. but i suppose art takes on a life of its own.
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May 23, 2018 17:04
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a magical post thank you FRIENDS FOREVER
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May 23, 2018 17:07
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Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner PRINCIPAL were in the closet making babies CLOSET opposite of classroom MAKING opposite of learning and I SAW one of the babies ...and the baby looked at me
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May 23, 2018 17:48
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china bot posted:Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner
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May 23, 2018 17:52
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Okay someone do an open palm slam version
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May 23, 2018 17:55
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china bot posted:Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner You're not even close to baseline. Prepare to be Retired.
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May 23, 2018 18:01
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Gatekeeper posted:i went to a bar that was doing an open mic and i forgot i had taken some klonopin earlier so after a few drinks i was a sloppy blacked out mess and apparently i decided to try my hand at slam poetry. i signed up to perform and wrote a slam poem in a text message to myself. i don't remember writing it or performing it, i found the poem in my phone the next day and didn't know wtf it was until people started telling me how great my "performance" was the night before. like, people i didn't even know, finding me on facebook and messaging me, telling me i was an amazing slam poet. china bot posted:Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner These posts are so beautiful. They should have sent a poet. ...wait
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May 23, 2018 21:19
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sneakyfrog posted:a magical post thank you
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May 23, 2018 22:35
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Wait, Samuel Beckett as in the guy who wrote Waiting for Godot and Krapp's Last Tape did quantum mechanics?
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May 23, 2018 22:54
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queserasera posted:Wait, Samuel Beckett as in the guy who wrote Waiting for Godot and Krapp's Last Tape did quantum mechanics? It was actually Samuel Becker, the guy from Cheers.
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May 23, 2018 23:14
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queserasera posted:Wait, Samuel Beckett as in the guy who wrote Waiting for Godot and Krapp's Last Tape did quantum mechanics? JFC, I can't tell if you guys are the idiots or I'm the idiot. Samuel Beckett was the lead on a SciFi series called Quantum Leap, it ran from 1989 to 1994. It was about a scientist who traveled through time fixing past mistakes to make the future better. He was accompanied by a hologram of his friend from the present. Nevermind, I think I figured it out. I'm the idiot.
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May 24, 2018 00:06
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Outrail posted:JFC, I can't tell if you guys are the idiots or I'm the idiot. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jYmn3Gwn3oI
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May 24, 2018 00:13
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queserasera posted:Wait, Samuel Beckett as in the guy who wrote Waiting for Godot and Krapp's Last Tape did quantum mechanics? Samuel Beckett was a cricket player.
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May 24, 2018 00:17
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gleebster posted:Samuel Beckett was a cricket player. That’s Beckham.
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May 24, 2018 00:18
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That's soccer.
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May 24, 2018 00:21
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Caufman posted:That's soccer. With the tiny rackets?
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May 24, 2018 00:25
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:With the tiny rackets?
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May 24, 2018 00:31
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frankenfreak posted:No, FIFA is a giant racket. Lol. I’m disappointed I didn’t see that one coming.
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May 24, 2018 00:34
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frankenfreak posted:No, FIFA is a giant racket. Home run!
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May 24, 2018 01:01
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Outrail posted:JFC, I can't tell if you guys are the idiots or I'm the idiot. You're posting in the amateur comedian thread. :shh:
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May 24, 2018 01:04
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Subjunctive posted:Home run! That's baseball.
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May 24, 2018 01:18
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:That's baseball. With the players with the funny names?
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May 24, 2018 03:19
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Solice Kirsk posted:Spread your cheeks and let the remainder air dry. Eventually it will just flake off naturally. Lol, just lol, if you don't have Enrique do your pooping for you.
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May 24, 2018 03:40
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