/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Freudian: Mar 23, 2011

They aren't the type to bare their sole.

# ? May 27, 2018 17:04

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:28

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

tsa posted:

Do you like it when people call you sweetie?

I�m fine with it.

# ? May 27, 2018 17:04

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

tsa posted:

Do you like it when people call you sweetie?

It was used as a term of endearment, cupcake

# ? May 27, 2018 17:12

Sibilant Crisp: Jul 4, 2014

Barudak posted:

You dont even need a good lawyer here; its an open and shut case because your wife cant.

That's what I was thinking. A "wax", surely.

# ? May 27, 2018 17:21

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

I don't blame them, I hate seeing advice writing in "mama bear" voice too

# ? May 27, 2018 17:40

Tendai: Mar 16, 2007; "When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."; Grimey Drawer

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I don't blame them, I hate seeing advice writing in "mama bear" voice too

No poo poo. It's patronizing as hell.

# ? May 27, 2018 17:57

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

I just grew up calling people honey/sweetie/dear if I didn�t know their names, especially when I worked in a lovely diner or bartended :shrug:

# ? May 27, 2018 17:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

LadyPictureShow posted:

I just grew up calling people honey/sweetie/dear if I didn�t know their names, especially when I worked in a lovely diner or bartended

Its Sir, Ma�am, and Fucker

# ? May 27, 2018 18:00

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I just use �pal�

Now listen here, pal.

Good work, pal.

How�s it going, pal

Nice tits, pal.

# ? May 27, 2018 18:12

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

fruit on the bottom posted:

I just use �pal�

Now listen here, pal.

Good work, pal.

How�s it going, pal

Nice tits, pal.

# ? May 27, 2018 18:19

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

fruit on the bottom posted:

I just use �pal�

Now listen here, pal.

Good work, pal.

How�s it going, pal

Nice tits, pal.

yeah, see

# ? May 27, 2018 18:22

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Well poo poo; I�ve been doing things wrong the whole time!

Thanks sweeties! :v:

# ? May 27, 2018 18:24

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Me [29M] and my best friend [26M] have a weird bromance and I don't know what to do anymore.Relationships
Posted byu/gaspared

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/7es7ck/me_29m_and_my_best_friend_26m_have_a_weird/

quote:

I'm gay and he says he's straight, he knows about me since the first time we talked. We met 3 years ago and soon we become really close. I wasn't interested in him, at that time I had an awful breakup and wanted to focus on myself.

So when he started getting close I didn't thought much of it, I supposed it was his way to be a friend. But at some point I noticed that his, ours, behaviors were different. It was like if we ware dating. He texted me things like "miss you" "I love you so much (bro)" "I need your hugs/kisses" (kisses on the cheeks) a lot of hearts emoji and that sort of cute/sweet talking that you do with your SO. If this wasn't confusing enough he started holding my hand under the table while dining out with friends or asking me to stop, the two of us alone, in my car before heading home so we can talk and cuddle a lil. At this time cuddling was a big part of our relationship, every time we were alone we ended up hugged on a sofa caressing and kissing (always on the cheeks) each other, even for hours.

Months later I was happy with that and my feelings for him were growing fast, so while we were cuddling I took all my courage and went for the real kiss. He avoided me and told me he wasn't interested in me in this way, that he likes girls and I know it. Ouch. It hurts but I'm a grown up man and I can deal with a rejection. So ok, never mind, my bad, maybe I misunderstood what was going on. Our friendship went on like if nothing happened. Literally. He continued acting the same way, cuddling and all.

After he rejected me my feelings for him went off, well you know that was a letdown. So I tried to not think about him in a romantic way and I have to say I was doing it fine. But his behavior never change so months after I was falling for him again. So I decided to confront him and told him that those things we do make me wanting more from him and he said that this was not possible. For my own sanity I told him that we need to stop cuddling, etc, or it's impossible for me to not have feelings for him. He cried, said he was sorry and agreed.

From this time our friendship went in a more "normal" way. I didn't thought about him as more of a friend anymore and was fine with that. Even went on dates with some guys.

But, yeah there is a "but" and that's why I'm here, recently he started looking for cuddling and things again. This time I was more firmly on my decision and every time he went for a kiss or a cuddle I said no and used my hand to keep him away from me. He acts like if this is a game and tries to catch me off guard to steal a kiss or a hug or my hand when no one is watching.

Last week we didn't saw each other cause we were full of work and even argued about some stupid things. So last night he decided to come at my place cause he missed me and he was sorry about that. It is a hard time for me right now, you know life isn't easy, and when he went for cuddles I couldn't resist.

I don't know what to think and do anymore. He is a good friend, for real, the best I have ever had. He cares, he is always there for me, he supports me, we share interests and have a lot of fun together. But I really can't deal with this weird relationship anymore. We are more than friends but we are not a couple.

He doesn't look for a girlfriend since he knows me, if this means something. He had a gf before we met but he broke up with her cause he didn't love her.

Even friends, parents and other people assumed we were boyfriends and when I tell them we are not they give me a weird look like if they don't really believe me.

Am I wrong? Is this something normal between friends? (Even if I know he hadn't this kind of behavior before) Is he gay but scared to death to admit it to himself? Is he straight and I'm some kind of gf-surrogate with no strings attached that gives free cuddles?

I'm sure whatever is the reason he is not malicious and has no intention to hurt me, so please don't say he tries to take advantage of me or this sort of things.

Please help me, I really need some good advice.

TL;DR my straight friend acts like if we are a couple, cuddling and everything except making out and sex, but he says he doesn't want me as a boyfriend cause he likes girls. I asked him to stop it but it seems like he can't even if he knows my feelings for him. I don't know what to think about it anymore.

This straight boy is a creep.

# ? May 27, 2018 19:41

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

LadyPictureShow posted:

I just grew up calling people honey/sweetie/dear if I didn�t know their names, especially when I worked in a lovely diner or bartended

I think this is just a regional thing.

These are the only sets of people I've seen use honey/sweetie regularly:
-People being condescending/patronizing as gently caress
-People being sincerely concerned but still letting a bit of "you're an idiot/about to be an idiot" seep into it(think 'parent disappointed in you')
-Transplants from the south
-Sweet little old ladies

And since the internet doesn't let people tell if you're in either of the last two groups...

# ? May 27, 2018 19:45

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

value-brand cereal posted:

Me [29M] and my best friend [26M] have a weird bromance and I don't know what to do anymore.Relationships
Posted byu/gaspared

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/7es7ck/me_29m_and_my_best_friend_26m_have_a_weird/

This straight boy is a creep.

This got a followup where the openly gay guy broke things off completely and then the other guy ended up admitting he was gay. Must be somewhere in this thread, it's deleted from reddit.

# ? May 27, 2018 19:46

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

My [21F] boyfriend of 2 years� [21M] parents [50s] are obsessed with their family teddy bear

quote:

My bf and I both live away from home for college, so parents (his or mine) don�t play a major role in our relationship. However, I�ve met them for the second time this weekend and it�s getting weird.

Their house is literally covered in teddy bear paraphernalia - magnets, wallpaper, wall art, stone statues outside etc.

His mom is a quite childish in her mannerisms. Sometimes my bf shows me pictures she sends of the bear at a coffee shop, with pictures set up as if the bear is drinking the coffee. They�ve even taken the bear with them to see children�s films like Winnie the Pooh in the cinema.

This weekend my bf and I were going on a road trip and the bear came with us. He doesn�t generally acknowledge it too much, just like �sit there� as he puts it in a corner or something. That said, I did have to participate in some of the posing of the bear for pics along the way.

I have childhood stuffed animals that hold sentimental value, so I get it, though I�d never bring them out in public and would feel no reason to bring them on a trip with my adult bf.

When we returned to the parents home today, his mom (whom I haven�t seen in a year) came out of the house and called for the bear, ignoring bf and I, grabbed it from the car and wrapped it up in her cardigan, making a big show of making sure it was safe and saying hello etc. The family all seems to play along with it, but it�s driven largely by her.

Idk if I�m overreacting. I find this behaviour from adults disconcerting and unusual. I�m a little uncomfortable staying in the house when his mom is around.

I love my boyfriend. I almost never have to deal with his parents and this bear, but it does make me feel a little nervous about the future of our relationship if these are the in laws I�d be joining.

TLDR: boyfriend�s mom acts like a teddy bear is a key member of the family and it makes me uncomfortable. What do I do?

# ? May 27, 2018 20:19

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Esoteric Scientist posted:

My [21F] boyfriend of 2 years� [21M] parents [50s] are obsessed with their family teddy bear

Well good news, when she kills you and has your hair sown into a teddy bear she'll take good care of you.

# ? May 27, 2018 20:21

The ExpireRator: Mar 17, 2009

LadyPictureShow posted:

Well poo poo; I�ve been doing things wrong the whole time!

Thanks sweeties!

Are you from Baltimore? Because its almost rude here if you don't put "Hon" on the end

# ? May 27, 2018 20:31

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Tale as old... as... time???

Let my [27F] husband [28M] get a FWB, now he feels like he cheated on me (self.sex)

quote:

Me and my husband (together 7, married 4) have always had a great relationship but I realise how one-sided sex was for him; he�s always been the "giver" if you get me since he�s a lot more experienced, getting me to orgasm has never been a problem but I find pleasuring him to be physically difficult.
He�s quite large down there so even after ages of foreplay I can�t fully take him in, if he thrusts too fast it starts to hurt so he does it slowly, he�s always wanted to try deepthroat but no matter what my gag reflex is too strong, also having sex tends to leave me sore the next day which doesn�t help since his drive is so high. He always tells me it�s all right and he doesn�t mind but I know he�s unsatisfied with our sex life.

After a lot of discussion we decided that he should get a FWB, I�m not the jealous type and really it was me who suggested it. A friend got me in contact with a girl (who turned out to be a model of all things!) who was might be interested, we met up and agreed on the first time being a threesome, and my husband insisted we pay her. At night we got together on the bed and did the deed. I never realised how intense my husband was till now, they really went at it!
He came like 5 times and just kept going with her, she was great too and incredibly sexy, did everything for him. After that night I was dropping her off and she said she wouldn�t mind doing it for free/being a FWB for us which I thought was wonderful!

Next day my husband comes up to me and apologises because he felt like he cheated on me bc he focused to much on her, I tell him it�s fine and that I wouldn�t mind her being regular, but he�s still upset at himself over it. I want him to get over this and enjoy himself more but I�m not sure how to go about it

edit: For clarity, I don�t intend to open the relationship on both ends since I�m 100% happy, just his side.

tl;dr; Got my husband a FWB but now he feels like he cheated on me even though I�m completely okay with it

# ? May 27, 2018 21:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

CheesyDog posted:

Tale as old... as... time???

Let my [27F] husband [28M] get a FWB, now he feels like he cheated on me (self.sex)

This reads like a penthouse letter and a humiliation fetishist crashed into each other at high speed and this woman needs to listen to its pleas to put it out of its misery because its no good to anyone.

# ? May 27, 2018 21:36

Heliogabalos: Apr 16, 2017; you can still key in codes for the cheapest of item (for example, celery instead of organic whatever) and no one pays any attention and it saves me a fuckton of money on organic produce

Haifisch posted:

Emotionally stunted bf [25m] with borderline mom, and now he�s sexually attracted to his therapist

euthanize them all

# ? May 27, 2018 21:37

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

like at least he's not a veterinarian

Wow. Just wow.

# ? May 27, 2018 21:44

FAGGY CLAUSE: Apr 9, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

La Brea Carpet posted:

(NY) Bikini Wax Gone Wrong

how badly could a womans junk get hosed up, really? it's not like pussy is super attractive unless youre already in the mood for it, and who cares if theres some scar at that point.

# ? May 27, 2018 21:46

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

CheesyDog posted:

Tale as old... as... time???

Let my [27F] husband [28M] get a FWB, now he feels like he cheated on me (self.sex)

Things that didn't happen for 500, Alex

# ? May 27, 2018 21:52

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

quote:

My (29m) girl "Penny" (26f) of 5 years and I went to brunch. She's kind of alluded that she had a rough upbringing but I didn't think anything of it til today. I was typical suburban idyllic chilhood, she went to a charity school but she's very well spokin and mannered and doesn't have an "accent".

We were sitting outside and I think this crackhead lady though Penny was someone else. She kept yelling at us and Penny was a perfect lady and ignored her. Then the lady got up in Penny's face and I noticed Penny "casually" grab this big bottle of hot sauce that was on the table.

Then out of nowhere the crackhead lady shoves Penny's chair to where Penny was thrown on the ground. Before I could even BLINK Penny had that lady on her back and smashed that hot sauce bottle into her face twice before she backed off. Cops were obviously called, crack lady's nose and eye socket were broken. Penny just sat there "shaking" in a shock blanket and everyone is telling her how "brave" she is, it was "self defense" and there aren't going to be any charges.

TLDR; How can I go back to seeing her as my sweet loving girlfriend after I see her freaking beat a homeless lady half to death?

quote:

Maybe the issue is I'm kind of scared of her now? I've never been around violence of any kind, never played sports or anything. We talked and told her I just can't stop seeing that lady's blood fly out of her nose. She said "neither can I", so I think she's upset about it too.

What a weiner.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:04

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

What a weiner.

quote:

[�]iamMarkPrice

[score hidden] 32 minutes ago
I don't understand what the problem is... Your girlfriend defended herself, what would you have liked her to do?

quote:

[�]Mike-Kilo

[S] [score hidden] 10 minutes ago
I dunno, call the cops or talk to the restaurant owners? Something that doesn't involve blood?

Jesus.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:08

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

that lady needs a brave man with a mighty broadsword to defend her honor from the fearsome Crackdragoon.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:10

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

What a weiner.

I hope the cops take you to jail for aggravated emasculation

# ? May 27, 2018 22:10

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

What a weiner.

Someone get that girl in contact with that guy from Vietnam whose girlfriend freaked out because he beat up a dude to death when defending himself.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:13

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

value-brand cereal posted:

Me [29M] and my best friend [26M] have a weird bromance and I don't know what to do anymore.Relationships
Posted byu/gaspared

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/7es7ck/me_29m_and_my_best_friend_26m_have_a_weird/

Over the last few months /r/relationships has had a run of stories from the perspective of a gay dude with a straight "bro" who comes on to him a lot, or from the perspective of a straight "bro" having confusing feelings about his gay friend. There are almost always updates involving the dudes realizing they're meant to be together, with some implausibly sweet/cute resolution, and I suspect they're all the work of some enterprising, slash-struck teenage girl.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:14

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

What a weiner.

I like Penny. She's been through enough poo poo to recognize that regardless of how she responded, crackhead was gonna attack her. So she armed herself appropriately and, when necessary, disabled her attacker as quickly as possible. The OP is a loving idiot since it doesn't sound like there was enough time to get a manager to kick the lady out before she attacked Penny. There sure as hell wasnt enough time to wait for the cops.

Although, I can kind of understand why OP is having trouble processing seeing his girlfriend be violent. He should just figure out how to get over it though, since it sounds like Penny is a female Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson's character from Taken).

# ? May 27, 2018 22:18

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

I dunno, call the cops or talk to the restaurant owners? Something that doesn't involve blood?

You thought the crackhead deserved to die?

# ? May 27, 2018 22:19

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

tactlessbastard posted:

You thought the crackhead deserved to die?

LOL!

# ? May 27, 2018 22:19

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My(22M) family doesn't believe I'm gay

quote:

I'm kinda baffled right now so if someone could help me out it would be awesome!

I told my parents my sexuality when I was 16. I really did not think there would be any trouble, since my older brother came out and the whole family was 100% supportive.

They just kept asking if I was sure, that I didn't have to label myself or whatever. I was kinda hurt but thought maybe I had been too casual or something.

I'm a pretty private person so I don't share a lot of my romantic love with anyone. Through out my teens they didn't really seem to believe(nor my brothers/sisters/uncles/aunts).

When I was 18 I met a guy on the internet. Long story short, we had a LD relationship for years(which I told my family, but they didn't seem to believe) but at the beginning of this year he got a job on my town! I was over the moon and told everyone. My siblings and parents just kinda rolled their eyes and didn't comment.

When he got here I didn't immediatly presented them to each other. We had seen each other face to face a couple of times but I wanted to spend some "couple time". I then started trying to arrange a meeting in a restaurant or something so my family could meet them.

My parentd basically refused and only one of my sister met him.

This week I texted the family to see if they wanted to have a picnic with us but everyone had something to do, either doctor, some game, whatever.

We did or picnic at the park and started snogging a bit(or a lot, but all child friendly, I promise), when a dog jumps on me. My moms dog. Who was staring with the rest of the whole family.

I was super confused and hurt and went to ask what was goung on. Before I could open my mouth she started saying I had to stop this stupid show, that everyone knows I'm straight, that I'm just looking for attention and to take attention from those who really need it. She then started telling my bf he should leave me because I'm only using him, that she bets I'll never have sex with him(which I had) because I'm not gay

I was near tears at this point and she left with the rest of the family. They didn't even look at me, the only one who seemed to want me was the loving dog.

I have received several texts from different members of the family telling me to stop lying. When I try asking why they think I'm lying they just keep repeating I'm straight

I have no idea of what could be happening. I truly don't. None of this poo poo makes sense. My bf has a really bad impression of my family(which I don't blame him).

Anyone has any suggestion?

TL;DR: I was made it clear I'm gay, my family doesn't believe me, even after catching me and my bf snogging. My mom told me to knock this act out and stop pretending I'm gay. I don't know why she doesn't believes me

Edit:changed straight to gay

Sorry dude, everyone knows this family has a limit of one gay child.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:21

hanales: Nov 3, 2013

Haifisch posted:

My(22M) family doesn't believe I'm gay

Sorry dude, everyone knows this family has a limit of one gay child.

Clearly the only choice is to make some hardcore porn with your boyfriend and show it at the next gathering.

# ? May 27, 2018 22:30

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

Penny is awesome and grew up in a place where she learned to take care of herself. BF is a vanilla suburban whiny boy.

Also, on the honey thing........"hon" and "honey" are really common Philly regional. When I've been away for too long it's awesome to get a "thanks hon" at the wawa on the way home from the airport (and if you know what wawa is you know what I'm talking about.....they won't even put automatic door openers on the stores because they want people to hold the doors for each other and it's awesome).

# ? May 27, 2018 22:35

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Let�s get Penny and Pete together :allears:

# ? May 27, 2018 22:38

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (29m) girlfriend (26f) beat another girl up and I can't see her the same way.

What a weiner.

Boyfriend is a weenie who is scared because he doesn't like the concept that his girlfriend can kick the poo poo out of him

# ? May 27, 2018 22:50

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

proficiency in defending oneself from crackheads is something I look for in any party member

# ? May 27, 2018 22:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 07:28

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Blade Runner posted:

Boyfriend is a weenie who is scared because he doesn't like the concept that his girlfriend can kick the poo poo out of him

# ? May 27, 2018 22:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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