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LingcodKilla posted:gently caress I killed a bunch of drain babies while in uniform... Do you think im facing life for jerking off into a tissue whenever the handmaid's tale becomes public policy?
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May 26, 2018 03:01
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bulletsponge13 posted:So, if a SM threatened an aid worker, say at gun point, to do their job way back in OIF 1-3ish, they'd in theory, be good? Even if one could stretch that to torture, the SOL for that was 8 years. (There's a whole bunch of exceptions to the 5 year SOL, I missed that torture was one of them)
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May 26, 2018 03:06
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no SOL on hurt fee fees
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May 26, 2018 04:01
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:no SOL on hurt fee fees brb getting 100% disability at the VA
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May 26, 2018 04:23
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Viva Miriya posted:Do you think im facing life for jerking off into a tissue whenever the handmaid's tale becomes public policy? Yes. But all of us.
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May 26, 2018 06:29
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tl;dr: on port call in Hawaii, I try to get two obnoxiously drunk sailors into a cab to get them back to the ship, and instead they end up getting mugged then getting into a fight with the cops that came to take their statements, and then didn't bother to coordinate their stories before getting NJPed. In 2003 I was coming back from Iraq on a Navy troop-ship (LPD-8) stuffed to the gills with Marines. We had flown to Kuwait for the pre-war staging in January 2003, so a lot of folks were not thrilled that instead of getting a 36hr trip home we were taking a six week trip home. But I was single and didn't particularly have anything better to do, so I was fine collecting sea pay, doing a lot of reading and running laps on the flight deck, and having almost no responsibilities since I'd been a tasked out FO during the invasion so didn't have any subordinates in my home unit. We stopped in Sydney, Cairns, and Honolulu, and one night I'm walking along in Waikiki and run across one of the corporals from my battery, and he says he was just in a bar a couple blocks down where a couple of the officers were drinking, and he could point it out to me so I could link up with them. So Cpl and I are walking along the sidewalk, and we see coming toward us two massively drunk guys falling all over the sidewalk, short haircuts, shirts off, and dogtags. They're not just a little drunk, they're hollering at civilians and pounding on trash cans and climbing poles as everyone walking by tries to dodge them, so I figured I was kinda obligated to step in. I go up to the guys, ask if they're off one of the ships, and they so happen to be sailors off the same LPD-8 as I'm on. I tell them that it's getting late and they're pretty wasted, how about we just call them a cab and get them back to the ship? They start cussing me out while I try to talk them down, so I start to reach in my pocket to pull out an ID and say it's not an option anymore. Just as I'm doing so, the Cpl grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me backwards, as this kid has suddenly emerged from the crowd and bitch-slapped one of the sailors. The sailor goes to hit him back, and like eight Hawaiian guys materialize, and in a matter of seconds they roll the swabbies and steal a camera and a wallet. I had half a second of wanting to dive in there before realizing that would not help anything, so Cpl and I duck into the nearest shop and call 911. Cops show up, are taking statements from the two mugged sailors, and one of the sailors starts chewing out the cops, saying he's a combat vet just back from Iraq and what kind of city are they running where you can get robbed just minding your own business. I figured the cop would be all "yes, I totally understand you're upset, but moving on..." but instead this cop throws his notepad down the ground and gets up in the sailor's face, shouting that he puts his life on the line every day for punks like him on these tough streets. It was loving absurd, and I started to get worried that these two dumbasses were going to get hauled in for whatever, so I dive in and get the cop's attention, tell him that I'm a Marine officer and if he'll just let me get these two guys in a cab, I can guarantee he'll never see them in Honolulu again. Cop finally relents in disgust, I grab the two knuckleheads and the Cpl and I bodily shove them into a cab and head over to Pearl Harbor. Along the way, the sailors are all "hey guys, nobody else needs to know about this, right? We gotta stick together", while I'm thinking about how I already called the ship to report I was bringing two hosed-up idiots back, and I've told these guys like five times I'm an officer, but it's just not sinking in. So we walk up the gangway, and there's a Chief and two Navy MPs, cuff the kids right up and haul them down into the ship. So that kinda killed the rest of my evening, so I just wrote up a report and went to bed. I'm not a total uptight rear end in a top hat or anything, if they'd just been drunk and not obnoxious, and they'd just gotten into a cab when told they were too drunk, or even if they just hadn't provoked a fight with a cop and been a oval office-hair away from getting hauled in on D&D before I intervened, I wouldn't have dimed them out. But put all that dumbassery together and I didn't have any qualms letting their command know they were dumbshits. It doesn't end there, because the Captain's Mast got pretty fun. These two guys are best buddies, sleep one rack apart, work in the same section, are basically cheek-to-cheek 24/7, and they had an entire week before the Mast to coordinate their stories to sound good. It became abundantly evident that they had made zero effort to coordinate stories, since when they individually came in for their Masts they had completely differing accounts. One kid was underage, so they added underage drinking to his list of charges, which were generally based on being disorderly, bringing disrepute on the service, etc. His alibi for being falling-down drunk at 10pm was that during the afternoon he and his friend had been on the beach, met some Marines, and one Marine let him take a swig from his bottle of Coke, and it was *spiked with rum*! And since of course the sailor had never had booze before, it totally hosed him up for the rest of the day, but he had never knowingly been drinking. So he goes down for all charges. Oh, he also tried claiming that the Cpl, myself, and a random SgtMaj who was passing by and helped us wrangle them (again coincidentally off the same ship) were all misrepresenting the story and making him look bad. So the captain asks him if he's accusing an NCO, an officer, and an SNCO of lying just to get an E2 in trouble, and I think the kid saw that trap set and started dialing back. The captain pauses and asks "why would a SgtMaj lie about you? Maybe he was trying to get promoted?" That caused a breakdown of bearing in the room as a dozen people are desperately trying to stifle giggles. The next guy was of-age, but is up for all the other charges. On the list is disobeying a superior commissioned officer, for gaffing me off when I was trying to get him into a cab. I nut up and step forward and tell the captain that I don't think the "known at the time to you to be a superior commissioned officer" clause applied, since the kid was so drunk I don't think it registered that an officer was telling him something. The captain agrees and strikes that charge, but then says "hey, didn't you say that when you put your hand on his shoulder to guide him to the curb, he shoved you?" So he added *assaulting* a superior commissioned officer to the charges, so I shut up after that. After he's sentenced, the sailor asks if he can be kicked out of the Navy for his crimes since clearly he doesn't belong there, and the captain tells him he just can't skip out on his remaining year of obligation for being a dumbass. So then the sailor tries arguing that we was enlisted under false pretenses, since he thought "fireman" would mean he'd be a firefighter, when instead it means working on engines. But that didn't fly either. So big picture, both guys got hit with four or so charges and put on a month's restriction to ship, commencing on return to port in San Diego, so after eight months at sea, with all their friends going on vacation, those guys got to spend an extra month stuck on the boat. TapTheForwardAssist fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Jun 1, 2018 |
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May 31, 2018 20:40
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:tl;dr: on port call in Hawaii, I try to get two obnoxiously drunk sailors into a cab to get them back to the ship, and instead they end up getting mugged then getting into a fight with the cops that came to take their statements, and then didn't bother to coordinate their stories before getting NJPed. 
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May 31, 2018 21:11
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Thats ok sir, all you missed out on with the 38 hour flight back crew was guys drinking, driving, wrecking their car, killing their fiancee and making themselves retarded from head trauma.
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May 31, 2018 21:16
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May 31, 2018 22:28
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May 31, 2018 23:31
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I can taste the tears. Holy poo poo.
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May 31, 2018 23:44
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I wish my experience was that of an officer. It's weird being relatively functioning in a sea of idiots. "What do you mean I cant pull $26.73 out of the ATM?"
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Jun 1, 2018 03:50
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By calling 9/11 do you mean you guys went next door and started shouting "A PLANE HAS HIT ONE OF THE TWIN TOWERS"
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Jun 1, 2018 04:23
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Hoshi posted:By calling 9/11 do you mean you guys went next door and started shouting "A PLANE HAS HIT ONE OF THE TWIN TOWERS" Fuckin' patriotic autocorrect. 9/11 happened while I was at linguist school at Goodfellow AFB. When I heard that a plane had crashed into the Twin Towers I assumed that it was a Cessna. And thus began my long history of being totally wrong on the WoT. In hindsight it's baffling that I spent 2009-2014 working in foreign affairs given how I didn't think the Iraq War would happen until we literally crossed the border, and then assumed that we would declare the independence of Kurdistan by the end of 2003.
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Jun 1, 2018 05:10
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Soulex posted:I wish my experience was that of an officer. It's weird being relatively functioning in a sea of idiots. "What do you mean I cant pull $26.73 out of the ATM?" I managed to save up almost $10k in 2.5 years of being enlisted, by playing music as my main hobby, bumming rides instead of buying a car, and going to cheap venues like punk shows and goth clubs.
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Jun 1, 2018 05:13
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:I managed to save up almost $10k in 2.5 years of being enlisted, by playing music as my main hobby, bumming rides instead of buying a car, and going to cheap venues like punk shows and goth clubs. I lost that much in that amount of time through restaurants and poo poo. Bought a car and threw a grand in the stereo. But I was single, and contributed to a savings account and retirement.
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Jun 1, 2018 05:53
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:I managed to save up almost $10k in 2.5 years of being enlisted, by playing music as my main hobby, bumming rides instead of buying a car, and going to cheap venues like punk shows and goth clubs. tell me how to get big tiddy goth gf
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Jun 1, 2018 07:24
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Viva Miriya posted:tell me how to get big tiddy goth gf this guy knows what’s up
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Jun 1, 2018 07:33
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:I managed to save up almost $10k in 2.5 years of being enlisted, by playing music as my main hobby, bumming rides instead of buying a car, and going to cheap venues like punk shows and goth clubs. I bought a condo and saved up something like 8k before getting out, but I hosed up with student loans the second year and blew through most of the savings then. Not a fun year. Managed to put another 15k in savings as soon as I started working (got sent to a yard in Singapore for a month) and that saved my bacon a couple of years later when I got laid off for a few months 
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Jun 1, 2018 07:34
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Viva Miriya posted:tell me how to get big tiddy goth gf Sorry, I'm into A-cups.
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Jun 1, 2018 07:36
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its funny how the class standard keeps spiraling upwards over time
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Jun 1, 2018 07:50
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:Sorry, I'm into A-cups. I mean, I love me some small jiggly tits too, but I don't understand how one can be only "into one cup size" All boobs need love
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Jun 1, 2018 10:34
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I value availability above size any day
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Jun 1, 2018 11:56
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Duzzy Funlop posted:I mean, I love me some small jiggly tits too, but I don't understand how one can be only "into one cup size"
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Jun 1, 2018 12:02
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Casimir Radon posted:Pretend I posted that gif where that lady's fake tits look like tennis balls in the bottom of tube socks. Mournful, she has mournful tits.
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Jun 1, 2018 12:10
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I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.
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Jun 1, 2018 12:19
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-Anders posted:I value availability above size any day Quality over quantity. Perky and small > big and floppy.
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Jun 1, 2018 13:16
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The problem is perky and small remind me of my moobs.
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Jun 1, 2018 13:20
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-Anders posted:I value availability above size any day Amen, brother. "A B in the hand is worth two D's in the bra", I always say. Of course, given options...
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Jun 1, 2018 13:26
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:Sorry, I'm into A-cups. tell me how to get smol tiddy goth gf?
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Jun 1, 2018 13:58
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral. Like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra.
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Jun 1, 2018 14:04
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Duzzy Funlop posted:I mean, I love me some small jiggly tits too, but I don't understand how one can be only "into one cup size" Suck a titty everyday.
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Jun 1, 2018 14:29
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MrUnderbridge posted:Amen, brother. My wife is pregnant so over the next year I'll have everything from A to D each day.
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Jun 1, 2018 14:31
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Stultus Maximus posted:My wife is pregnant so over the next year I'll have everything from A to D each day. Hope she doesn’t develop hyper sensitivity like mine did. 
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Jun 1, 2018 14:36
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LingcodKilla posted:Hope she doesn’t develop hyper sensitivity like mine did. Didn't last time. Also was fun when she went from being self conscious about lactation to practical jokes involving surprise milk squirting.
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Jun 1, 2018 14:41
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I hate you.
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Jun 1, 2018 14:43
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Casimir Radon posted:Pretend I posted that gif where that lady's fake tits look like tennis balls in the bottom of tube socks. Death to fake tits
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Jun 1, 2018 18:21
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Death to bad fake tits Corrected. If they're done well, they're marvelous.
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Jun 1, 2018 18:30
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LingcodKilla posted:I hate you. Body fluid based physical humor is good stuff.
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Jun 1, 2018 18:56
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Viva Miriya posted:tell me how to get big tiddy goth gf I had that. She ended up having borderline personality disorder and started telling people that I cheated on her with my best friend. Surprise, she was the one cheating with her ex!
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Jun 1, 2018 18:58
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