/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My fianc� (25M) is on a "health" kick and it's kind of scaring me (24F). Am I overreacting? How do I talk to him about this?

His concrete goals are to be able to run a mile in less than 7 minutes

The hell? I just did a 1 mile charity race thing for work on Sunday. I got very drunk Friday, stayed up late on Saturday smoking weed and playing video games and I never run. I did it in 7:50. It would not take a lot of training to get under 7 minutes.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 17:04

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I would hire a skywriter to write GET A DIVORCE in the sky above him but he'd probably just end up conceiving a third child with her instead

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:46

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Reddit is just festering today!

Long, but just read the bold stuff.

Me [20/f] and my ex [23/m] were together for 7 years, but never met...

quote:

This is about me [20/F], my ex [23/M] and my dilemma. Me and him met 7 years ago on an online multiplayer game. We have never, ever seen each other in real life, nor spoken or the phone, nor cam, nothing... (hear me out ok)

I know you will most probably not think its possible, but i saw him (his avatar) and immediately felt this outer force pulling me towards him. Since i realized and he realized, we have been describing it as ''love at first sight'' ever since. We sent each other pictures, fell in love, he was the first guy to ever make me feel beautiful and most importantly, our personalities seemed to be so similar. We felt and thought all the same things and as a consequence we developed a really deep connection over the years. It was all perfect, at least the first couple of years...

Naturally, we always talked about meeting. He seemed so hurt from the start because of the distance, and so was i. It is our most talked about subject. We talked about it ALL of the time, how we were going to be together, how much i wanted to move in with him and study where he is and everything. He soon turned 18, which meant he could travel anytime he wanted by himself. He went to uni in another country closer to mine, and i was very happy about that. And i think that's when it all started going downhill. In the first or second year, he would ask me for pictures always and also ask me to talk on cam, but i had seriously low self esteem and i always tried to avoid it (which i now regret). I wasn;t going to do it forever though, after a while i wanted it also, so i kept asking him. He seemed so eager, and i thought that now that he is an adult and studying, there won't be problems anymore. He can travel and see me and as soon as i will turn 18, i will go to him. He promised. And i promised.

The year he went to uni is when i realized, the real reason we didn't see each other yet is not really the distance, but him. That summer, his leg broke and he disappeared for two weeks. I was heartbroken and did not understand, but then he wrote to me one day apologizing, telling me he will show his leg to me, telling me he is sorry etc, so i believed him and i felt so bad and we got back together. Then, he said he would come on Christmas. According to him, the reason he did not was difficult uni exams. Then, he would come during Easter (he did not). That was his first year in uni.

During that time, other things that bothered me would happen, like him having these explosive spells of anger and threaten to leave me and accusing me of cheating on him and sometimes the fight would go on for days, it was SO exhausting and all i did during that time was apologize and begging him to stay and keep saying i love him. I never cheated btw...in all these years. He eventually grew out of having those spells around two years ago.

His second and third year of uni went similarly also. Him ''arranging'' to come meet me, but would not. He must have ''arranged it'' in total of 12 times during those two years, but he never came. I should also mention, we always tried to call each other the first couple of years, but for some reason it would never work. When it finally did work when he went away, he would never pick up and always refuse to talk to me. THEN, i turned 18. Since i was small, my dream was always to go abroad and study. I wanted it since i remember myself. When i turned 18, the summer i finished school, he ghosted me for two weeks. That was the first real contact i ever had with anxiety. In my mind i seriously thought he was dead, so for two weeks i was crying day and night and searching online the papers in the place he lived to see if there was an announcement or anything of that sort, i was obsessed and completely scared since in my mind i could not find another excuse whyy he had disappeared. I delved into a deep anxiety which was lasted me ever since. I eventually learned to not be so scared of him being dead, but i went on to be scared of my parents being dead, or me, or other delusions.

During those weeks he was gone, i also decided to apply for uni in a country other than his, lets call it country A, and i mostly did it to prove to myself that i could really do this, that i did have the potential to study abroad, because up to that point it was of course all a fantasy in my head. They accepted me at both unis, but before i made a choice, he showed up. He told me he is sorry, he told me he cheated on me and got another girlfriend during that time, but that he still wanted to talk to me. Weirdly enough, he also said if his current gf was not ok with him talking to me, he didn't care. I told him i was going to study at country A. He said he was happy for me. He also said he lied to me about cheating on me and being with someone else, i dont remember his excuse but i remember i forgave him. At around 5 am the same night, i got an email from him saying he has been crying all night about me going away and he said he will always love me, and he said goodbye. I was devastated, i could not just let him go so i begged him to talk to me the next day and i told him i can still try to study in his country, i told him i would do everything possible. So, me and him decided to live together. At the end of that summer, i got my ticket. The university system in his country is pretty complicated so i ended up not having all the right documents, but i had my ticket and i was going to live with him and i didn;t care and we were going to figure everything out together. Two days before my flight, he sent me an email, breaking up with me and saying he cannot do this anymore, that it wont work out, that i am too good for him. I was again, so devastated because he was the one for me, we were the same in so many ways how can he be doing this when i sacrificed what i always wanted to be with him.

I still used my ticket. I was an 18 year old girl alone in a big city in Europe, with little money and nowhere to stay. I told myself i would go to the university in person and they would help me. So, i went. He was not even at the airport, i did not have one single text from him and i also didn't say anything to him about me being in his city... I stayed there for 4 days before i asked my parents to get me a return ticket. I was homeless those 4 days and almost got harassed, and it was all my choice. But at least i had kept my promise, because in my mind, i am never going to be like everyone else giving up on love easily and not doing anything possible to be together...

I was home again. I was so physically sick and exhausted and depressed, that i said to myself there's no reason for contempt in my heart, that i should forgive him and say i still love him, and let him go. So, i sent him a heartfelt email expressing my love for him and telling him that it's best if we are alone. He wrote to me, saying he wanted to talk to me again, that he loved me too, so we did. I told him i had used my ticket. He kept calling himself an rear end in a top hat, that he regrets it, that he wants to make it right. We got back together again and agreed to try again to move in together. SO AGAIN, i got another ticket for a month after that event. The week before my flight, he seemed distant, cold, angry and he was mean to me. The night before my flight i was so sad, and i told him he should at least try and pretend he is happy about seeing his own gf. He went mad, angry and told me to cancel my ticket, that we cannot do this if we are not in a good place in our relationship, that he was not ready.

I was crying all day and night again, my parents were going crazy. They did not understand why i was so sad since i always wanted to go abroad. They thought maybe its not what i want after all...but i did...with all my heart. I did not go this time. I changed my ticket for a couple of months after that, the same scenario played out, i was depressed again, didn't go, we broke up for the 12th time during our whole relationship. He then told me he would come on Christmas, then New Years, then after that. Then, he got a ticket (to which i thought finally this is happening!!!!!!!!). Long story short, it did not. His ticket had a stop at another city before mine. During his wait in that city, he told me to not wait for him, that he cannot do this. I called him, i said something and he immediately hung up. He booked a return ticket and went back to his country.

A month after that, i found a cultural exchange programme, and within a week a found a host family and was in his country. I was there. There was no excuse anymore. I should also add, a while after we spoke again after i was homeless in his city, he told me he had been cheating on me all along and doing drugs. He said the last time was a few days ago, he said he was doing it since he started uni. He was going to therapy and i forgave him again. So, i was there. I was there for a year. I lived half an hour away from him. I tried countless times to see him, but we never did. He would always agree to it in the beginning, but a few minutes before we met, he would tell me to not go, that this won;t work, that we cannot do it. The last time we attempted to meet, was at this city's most known touristic spot. I waited for him for hours late at night. He said he cannot do it, and instead went by himself and got drunk at a bar. A few months ago he also told me about all the heavy drugs he was using while he was at uni, that he did not really cheat but because of the drugs he was seeing things, which i believed because we always talked constantly, he could not have possibly been with that many women...

And here i am now. I returned from his country about a week ago. I applied to the same uni i did 2 years ago, when i left it for him. I got accepted. And this is my dilemma. It is the best opportunity i have ever been offered...and it will make my future a lot better. But me, instead of being so happy about this and excited and quickly planning everything, i try to avoid it as much as possible, i cry secretely all of the time, my parents are so upset and sad and do not understand what is going on with me. They want me to make a decision, either country A, where he is, or country B, where the uni that accepted me is.

My dilemma is this: should i take this great opportunity at country B and accept the fact we will never be together, or go and study at country A, which is not as great but good enough and not have to be away from him in case he changes his mind about me? That is what i am scared of the most... I realize the fact that he is attached and codependent on me. He has never ever ever given me any action, any real proof of his love or wanting to be with me. But he always invested in talking and caring about my feelings and thoughts. But i know that whenever i am to go away, he always leans towards me again and invests a bit more than he always has. I know i will feel so regretful, so sad and depressed if we actually have a chance to be together but i choose to be away in this other country. I remember the first day we met, when we fell into place together and it felt so right and to this day that has been my only real reason to hold on, thinking that love at first sight must mean we are meant to be.

I am really scared i will never find someone, or if i do, i will end up in divorce somehow or just never in a happy long lasting relationship. I havent been happy in so long but i feel this need to hold onto it, as if it is my first and only chance in love in this life. And i also know i could never forgive myself if he changed his mind but i have chosen something completely different. I need help and i know it, and thats why i also ask strangers for an objective, even harsh opinion on this or of me that maybe will make me wake up and see the truth. I am really having a hard time with what to choose...i want to make the right choice. I am sorry that this is so long, and thank you to everyone who answers.

TL;DR* I [20/f] and my ex [23/m] met online and were together for 7 years but never met. I moved to his country, kept all my promises and did everything i possibly could to be together, but he always avoided and never met me. I am scared of giving up on our love. I got accepted into a great uni in another country, but i am having difficulty making the decision because i could study at his country too. But if i did, i know it would be mostly about him. I am scared of going away in case he changes his mind about me in the future and i lose him forever.

I certainly hope it works out for those two, just to spare everyone else their bullshit.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:46

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Wheeewwwwww nelly

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:47

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

The hell? I just did a 1 mile charity race thing for work on Sunday. I got very drunk Friday, stayed up late on Saturday smoking weed and playing video games and I never run. I did it in 7:50. It would not take a lot of training to get under 7 minutes.

Seriously. I could break 6:30 when I was 240 pounds.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:48

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

The hell? I just did a 1 mile charity race thing for work on Sunday. I got very drunk Friday, stayed up late on Saturday smoking weed and playing video games and I never run. I did it in 7:50. It would not take a lot of training to get under 7 minutes.

Yeah that's kinda why I'm saying he's just gonna give up after a while.

Also getting Abs does take a lot of work but keeping them takes way too loving much IMO.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:49

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

LadyPictureShow posted:

Reddit is just festering today!

Long, but just read the bold stuff.

Me [20/f] and my ex [23/m] were together for 7 years, but never met...

I certainly hope it works out for those two, just to spare everyone else their bullshit.

He's actually two dogs in a trenchcoat

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Barudak posted:

Open the relationship, HAL

No problem, Dave. Monogamy is a form of abuse.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:49

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Pick posted:

Wheeewwwwww nelly

I have nothing more to add except: "Jesus Christ"

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:49

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

LadyPictureShow posted:

Reddit is just festering today!

Long, but just read the bold stuff.

Me [20/f] and my ex [23/m] were together for 7 years, but never met...

I certainly hope it works out for those two, just to spare everyone else their bullshit.

The game is WoW isn't it?

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:50

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

quote:

I should also mention, we always tried to call each other the first couple of years, but for some reason it would never work.

Ayo does anyone have the giant thunkface gif that falls apart into a pile handy? TIA

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:50

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

MarcusSA posted:

The game is WoW isn't it?

I just feel so drawn to that pink haired gnome. I better waste my life on whoever's playing it.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:51

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Blade Runner posted:

He's actually two dogs in a trenchcoat

More like a gigantic catfish

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:51

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Ah yes an actual cousin loving story, it's been a long time since one was posted, that's right I'm outing the lede and bolding it

How to proceed after snooping and finding out BF lied

quote:

Longtime Redditor, first-time poster. Please go easy on me...

My boyfriend (m27) and I (f27) and I have been together a little over a year and moved in together a few months ago.

My boyfriend has had to deal with tough situations in his past. One of the situations he has dealt with is his cousin being a creep. He cut all contact with the cousin a while back (prior than us getting together). I also used to be friends with the cousin but cut ties for other reasons. The cousin sent suggestive texts to my boyfriend and he has made it clear this is repulsive to him. We have talked about this multiple times and he has always been straightforward that nothing happened between them and he did not appreciate the advances. We have even talked about the situation with his parents and I have always had his back 100%.

The other day my boyfriend admitted to texting his ex that he remained friends with after breaking up. We made it clear early on that contacting our ex's was not allowed. I became jealous and did some snooping, which was obviously wrong.

During my snooping, I found out my boyfriend had sex with his cousin multiple times. The thought of it grosses me out but I do think I would be able to get over it. The thing that I am stuck on is the fact that he was so adamant that nothing happened between him and the cousin. It is eating me up that he lied to me about this. After finding out, I gave him multiple chances to come clean, but he did not. He does not know I know anything.

I understand snooping was wrong, so with that in mind, how do I proceed? Am I allowed to confront him? What do I say? How do we fix this?

Edit: I am confident my boyfriend has had no contact with his cousin since before we got together. Their "fling" was before we were together.

TL;DR: My boyfriend was talking to an Ex behind my back so I, wrongfully, snooped. During my snooping, I found out my boyfriend had sex with his cousin before we were together. He previously made it very clear that nothing happened and the cousin is a creep.

I like how her focus is on snooping being wrong, everything owns :xd:

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:52

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Ok last one, does anyone know the mystery of the rubber bands... or the dark past this guy is hiding... by using rubber bands

Guy I am seeing [37M] may have a dark past. I [28F] are curious what is going on

quote:

Been seeing this guy from awhile, he always wears Rubber bands on his arm along with other things ( Wrist bands and a Chanel bracelet) He always has 4 rubber bands tangled up hidden underneath his Chanel Bracelet. Everytime I see him there are always Rubber elastic bands on his arm, Is this suppose to mean something when someone has that many? I do know he is down on himself a lot, he does have feelings of unworthyness. He does show signs of anxiety.

It is ok if he has a dark past I am here for him, just wondering if it is what I think it is. How do I go about this? I really like this dude

TL;DR; : Guy I am seeing always wears elastic rubber bands around his wrist.

It's the latest MS-13 thing, now you do rubber bands instead of teardrop tattoos

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:55

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Sloth Life posted:

Just tell "not the daddy" lady that she is too old and haggard to be a real little, and start collaging evidence to support this.

"You're 65 years old, Julie! Stop calling me daddy!"

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:55

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ah yes an actual cousin loving story, it's been a long time since one was posted, that's right I'm outing the lede and bolding it

How to proceed after snooping and finding out BF lied

I like how her focus is on snooping being wrong, everything owns

Lol this one is great.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:55

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ok last one, does anyone know the mystery of the rubber bands... or the dark past this guy is hiding... by using rubber bands

Guy I am seeing [37M] may have a dark past. I [28F] are curious what is going on

It's the latest MS-13 thing, now you do rubber bands instead of teardrop tattoos

I'm more curious about that Chanel bracelet.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:56

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Cousin + creep + sex + adamant denial of everything + no contact.

It could just be because he�s grossed out by what happened, but anyone else getting the vibe that this might have been a little less than totally consensual?

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:57

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

fruit on the bottom posted:

Cousin + creep + sex + adamant denial of everything + no contact.

It could just be because he�s grossed out by what happened, but anyone else getting the vibe that this might have been a little less than totally consensual?

I couldn't get a clear read on the cousin being F or M either

My take would be that people keep cousin loving incidents on the DL since they're generally not well regarded in polite society

# ? Jun 5, 2018 20:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My would be that people keep cousin loving incidents on the DL since they're generally not well regarded in polite society

You sound like somebody who doesnt want to be mayor of New York City

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:04

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ah yes an actual cousin loving story, it's been a long time since one was posted, that's right I'm outing the lede and bolding it

How to proceed after snooping and finding out BF lied

I like how her focus is on snooping being wrong, everything owns

There are no pronouns in that describing the cousin - betting the cousin is a dude too.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:04

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

LadyPictureShow posted:

Reddit is just festering today!

Long, but just read the bold stuff.

Me [20/f] and my ex [23/m] were together for 7 years, but never met...

I certainly hope it works out for those two, just to spare everyone else their bullshit.

It's amazing how low the barrier for entry is for cosmic signs telling you to start loving someone but the signs for telling them to gently caress off are sooooooo much higher. It's like those spike barriers you drive over but cant back up without ruining your tires.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:05

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Kelly posted:

There are no pronouns in that describing the cousin - betting the cousin is a dude too.

Its s carefully cultivated for that and to avoid even describing them so yeah, which is weird because this is the internet its not like anyone will know you lied about them being a woman to save what you believe to be face.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:06

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Ham Sandwiches posted:

How to proceed after snooping and finding out BF lied

Why in the heckkkkkkk is this strange rear end lady wondering if she should confront her creepy boyfriend after she learned he was regularly loving his cousin???? Just ghost the assclown. The end. Nothing to agonize over. She's 27 years old and can't figure this out somehow!

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

dudeness posted:

It's amazing how low the barrier for entry is for cosmic signs telling you to start loving someone but the signs for telling them to gently caress off are sooooooo much higher. It's like those spike barriers you drive over but cant back up without ruining your tires.

You�d be amazed

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:11

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

Barudak posted:

Its s carefully cultivated for that and to avoid even describing them so yeah, which is weird because this is the internet its not like anyone will know you lied about them being a woman to save what you believe to be face.

she is so shook she can't even bring herself to type that he might be gay or bi. which again, focusing on the wrong thing here.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:12

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

�I saw a red string today. It�s destiny�

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

�He replied to my text today, for once. His love is only growing�

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

�He didn�t stand me up this time. Marriage is near�

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

*hugs, multiple times*

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:17

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Cousin + creep + sex + adamant denial of everything + no contact.

It could just be because he�s grossed out by what happened, but anyone else getting the vibe that this might have been a little less than totally consensual?

That and the lack of gender for the cousin, I�m thinking the same sorta thing. Also, being repulsed by suggestive messages the cousin is sending him.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:18

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Pick posted:

�He replied to my text today, for once. His love is only growing�

�He stiffed me on a date, but he texted sorry with a 😣 emoji three days later; we�re meant to be together!�

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:19

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

The hell? I just did a 1 mile charity race thing for work on Sunday. I got very drunk Friday, stayed up late on Saturday smoking weed and playing video games and I never run. I did it in 7:50. It would not take a lot of training to get under 7 minutes.

actually doctors say weight is unrelated to health and it is a sign of freakish mental illness to want to get up off the couch without the help of a tow truck and a winch

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:21

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

you got a sorry ?

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:22

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Posted byu/heccy246
1 year ago
I [22 M] am scared of coming home to my roommate [24 M]Non-Romantic

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5ud3b9/i_22_m_am_scared_of_coming_home_to_my_roommate_24/

quote:

I started my Ph.D. this August and moved to a new city. I decided to room with some guy from my department because I had met him briefly and he seemed like he'd be a decent person to live with.

Some information about him: he's gay but he isn't out and has only started dating guys for less than 6 months. The only reason I know he's gay is that he told me moments after we signed our lease together. Also, because this is probably important for my story I am also gay and out.

Since we have moved together he has made uncomfortable advances towards me. He has tried to force massages on me even though I've made it clear that I do not want to be touched. He has tried to hold my hand on several occasions. He tries to show me his bare chest when I'm working. He humiliates me in front of my friends in our department. He tries to control what I wear and what I listen to and what I watch. He treats me like poo poo. Over the past month or so, I started to realize that he was doing to me was not okay, so for my own mental well being I started avoiding my apartment.

Things reached a boiling point last week. We got into another argument because he was trying to force me to go somewhere with him. I called him out for being controlling. I called him an rear end in a top hat and told him that he could no longer treat me like I was lesser. I made it firm and extremely clear that I hated him and did not want anything more to do with him.

His response still terrifies me. He told me, almost verbatim:

I've never felt closer to anyone before I met you

When you're not in the apartment with me I get severely depressed

I'm in love with you

There was an awkward silence and I left the room. The feelings aren't even close to mutual.

So I've tried to break my lease, but I can't afford it. The only reasonable choice I have is to continue living with this lovely human being for another 9 months. I'm scared to go home now. We haven't spoken since that conversation. How in the flying gently caress do I navigate this?

TL;DR I can't break the lease that I have with my emotionally abusive/obsessive creep piece of poo poo roommate (who is in the same PhD program as me) and have to figure out a way to exist in the same space as him for 9 more months.

UPDATE:

Earlier in this post I said I tried to break the lease. By that I meant that I spoke to my landlord and told him that I needed to break the lease for personal reasons. He let me know that I could only break my lease if I paid the 9 months rent that I owed him. From what I've read about my tenants' rights, this is completely legal. There is also a clause in my lease that does not allow me to sublet :/

In terms of outing him: I was forcibly outed in HS and it was a lovely experience. I hated every moment of it and would not exert it upon my piece of poo poo roommate no matter how awful he is/will be to me. But that's what makes this situation more difficult. I can't talk about this to anyone who knows him because I don't want to out him in the process.

*licks ur face* full romo,,,, hehehehe

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:35

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

oh well if your landlord says it's in the contract I guess you have to just lie back and let this guy murder-suicide you

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:42

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Me [20F] with my long-distance boyfriend [20M] and his housemate [20F]: She 'playfully' hits/bites him and has left bruises and scars. How do we get her to stop it?[new]
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2zk8s1/me_20f_with_my_longdistance_boyfriend_20m_and_his/

quote:

My boyfriend Rob and I have been together for a little over a year now. I live in the US, he lives in the UK. We have a good relationship, I love him and I know he feels the same about me and, aside from a few spats here and there, we get along great.

He's in uni and lives with two housemates, who I'll call Jade (20F) and Hannah (21F). From my understanding, they generally get along but they're not what you'd call the best of friends. They have very different personalities and they tend to clash sometimes. (Before I continue, I should mention that I trust my boyfriend and I have no suspicions that he's cheating on me or anything like that. The fact that he has female roommates doesn't bother me either.)

Jade is very... well, she's a very feisty person. Very stubborn, confident, energetic and likes to roughhouse. She has this weird love/hate friendship with Rob because he's also very stubborn and confident, and so they argue a lot. Normally, this wouldn't bug me too much but I've become very uncomfortable with her as of late.

Like I said, Jade likes to roughhouse. Although I've always been a little uncomfortable with it, I just let it go because I've been assured by several other friends of Rob and I that she does it with everyone and isn't really interested in Rob anyway. But she's very, very rough and it sounds like she now hits out of anger. She has escalated to biting too. I don't know if she just doesn't see how hard she's hitting or if she's actually trying to inflict an injury, but I'm VERY uncomfortable with it. Here's some examples:

A few months ago she was roughhousing with my boyfriend and bit him hard on the nipple, through his shirt. It left a small scar that's still present several months later. I brought up my concerns with my bf and he kind of just shrugged it off.

If someone does something that somehow winds her up, she will hit them "jokingly". Not like a little playful slap on the arm, but a full-on slap or punch. She apparently does it to everyone, but because Rob lives with her and thus is in more contact with her, he gets the brunt of it.

About a week ago, Rob was on webcam and Jade came in and they started chatting. They started bantering back and forth, and Jade eventually smacked him with a thick paintbrush. I mean ... this is minor compared to the other stuff but still, I had never seen it before.

The other day she got very drunk and started "playfully" biting some of the guys. She left a nasty bruise on one of Rob's friend Jason and actually broke skin on Rob's arm.

Tonight, Rob sent me a picture on kik of an injury on his chest, near his shoulder. It was a bite mark and had a scab. Jade had bitten him and, once again, had broken skin.

Also, when she gets mad, she gets mad. The other day she accused Rob of lying to her about something minor. When he denied it, she started yelling and saying stuff like "I loving hate you" and "I wish I never met you" and they didn't talk for almost two days. She finally apologised when shown incontrovertible proof that he didn't lie, but come on. This happens like once a month.

I'm really tired of it. For one, I don't want anyone hurting my boyfriend. And two, I've never liked girls who "jokingly" smack around their male friends and hurt them because they know they won't hit back like they would if she were a guy. I mean, there's a difference between messing around and actually injuring somebody, and I think she knows what she's doing but doesn't care that it's hurting him. My boyfriend is very sarcastic and I can see how it would wind someone up, but it doesn't give her the right to put her hands on him.

I had a second conversation with Rob earlier and was just like "Why do you put up with that poo poo?" He kept trying to excuse it by saying she's just one of the guys (or something), but then I said "How would you feel if a guy 'playfully' bit ME and drew blood? Or is it only unacceptable when a guy does it to a girl?" He kind of went quiet for a moment before saying I was right but that he doesn't know what to do. I'm worried that it's just going to continue, and besides, there's not much I can do from here in the States.

What should he do? It's not at the point where you'd need to talk to the police or anything, but I just want it to stop. How do you approach a girl who's so stubborn, hotheaded and is used to getting physical with others? Rob is moving to another home in August and I'm also worried about how it'd affect the living situation in the meantime.

tl;dr: Boyfriend has a housemate who gets physical with him and has left bruises and even a scar. How to get her to stop?

Never rent houses that allow vampire renters.

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:44

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

quote:

How do you approach a girl who's so stubborn, hotheaded and is used to getting physical with others?

You kick her loving rear end, that's how

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:47

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 17:04

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

You kick her loving rear end, that's how

yeah but how do you do it if you're an oscar meyer weiner

# ? Jun 5, 2018 21:49

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