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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Especially if Janikowski whiffs a bunch

Like the offense is ever going to get in FG range.

“Okay Schotty, think! It’s 3rd and 20, but just 10 more yards and we’ll be in Seabass’ range. What play do I have that will get us there?”

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Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
an underrated part of that gif is all the dbs being past the line to gain then going wait poo poo what

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

I don't get it, that gif clearly shows six yards to the line to gain, not 3rd and 20.

Inspector 34
Mar 9, 2009

DOES NOT RESPECT THE RUN

BUT THEY WILL
I guess this could be :thejoke: but I think they're saying regardless of the yards to gain, curls will be run just short of it.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

Spoeank posted:

an underrated part of that gif is all the dbs being past the line to gain then going wait poo poo what

The 2x underrated part is #4X (dude who eventually makes the tackle) not taking a single step back.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!
I loving love that gif and hate that OC

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

The play seems to plan five men running to the line to gain and then turning, so some kind of short curls playcall. QB looks to his left first and then turns right, so probably the receivers at the bottom of the screen are not his first options. I don't understand why he throws it to the man turning in front of double coverage instead of the more open and deeper #25 who is not running back to him and therefore has a much better chance of taking the ball upfield, though.

It looks to me like a poor play call but also poor QB play. QB is not under much pressure and could wait another second to let someone get open, or at least give #25 a chance at a sideline play. QB can also roll left since his line has set that edge and maybe even run the ball for the 1st down.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!
All 5 receivers curl.

WR1 at the top of the gif is the only one who could potentially get the first down.

It's a play that is built to fail.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Was there ever an interview with him on that play as to why he called It? I mean, I know he's dumb as poo poo but i really want to know what the hell he was thinking there.

If he had a track record of good offenses I'd write that off as a brain fart, but...

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
We're gonna RUN THE BALL EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW WE'RE GONNA RUN IT

It's amazing, literally the dumbest possible offensive game plan in TYOOL 2018. You want to DISGUISE the run and keep the defense honoring both run and pass which frees up room for the runner (or the receiver). Not sure how anyone could get that so wrong.

Can't wait for the endless zero - one yard runs into a stacked box with a horrible o line lmao. We better hope he's just talking big and that's not actually the plan

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
I love Brian Schottenheimer as the OC of the Seahawks lol

Qwijib0
Apr 10, 2007

Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?

Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/AZCardinals/status/1003679258114289664

NFCW Champs, through nothing more than great motivation

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
lol carroll is losing his mind

https://twitter.com/bcondotta/status/1003795427815092224

Manoueverable
Oct 23, 2010

Dubs Loves Wubs
Someone just compile all the articles about the Seahawks this offseason and turn it into lifecomesatyoufast.gif, this is turning weird/sad in a hurry.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

https://twitter.com/DwightC87/status/1003768113194651648

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Aw, man. The Catch is one of my earliest football memories. Christ, he was only 61.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
ALS is a goddamned fucker.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
https://twitter.com/geoffschwartz/status/1004034163450810368?s=19

E: the analysis is unsurprisingly similar to the Patricia video on the subject with the caveat that Patricia said 3 cb goal line they had never played all season.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
Phew thank goodness cold hard facts and logic are here to smother my emotions into nothingness. Jordan Peterson is actually good now.

Inspector 34
Mar 9, 2009

DOES NOT RESPECT THE RUN

BUT THEY WILL
I'd never heard of Jordan Peterson until all this stuff came up with the Seahawks. Why is he bad and not good?

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Inspector 34 posted:

I'd never heard of Jordan Peterson until all this stuff came up with the Seahawks. Why is he bad and not good?

richard dawkins is to atheists what jordan peterson is to mysogynists

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
He's a dumb Canadian professor guy who's now a big hero for the internet's right wing/Mens Rights Advocate/gamergate/incel niche because he dresses up their silly rear end misogynist ideas and trolly arguments with flowery psychology language and citations, marries it with Tony Robbins-esque self help poo poo, and then assures everyone he's correct because he never gets emotional and insists you can't argue with him without reading like 20 years worth of academic studies.

He also sounds like Kermit the frog.



Most recently he was profiled in the NY Times and got mad when the interviewer lady laughed at him because he said we need to start forcing women to sleep with his despondent internet loser fanbase to stop mass shootings.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
He puts a veneer of intellectual respectability over a rather basic woman-hating, anti-progress creed. He hates women and blames them for all the problems in the world because his wife divorced him and his penis is less than two inches long

^^ yeah what he said too

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Raku posted:

richard dawkins is to atheists what jordan peterson is to mysogynists

Yeah that about says it all. He's mostly just a lot of fun to laugh at.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
https://twitter.com/jordanbpeterson/status/975941537619107840

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
He also has a collection of reportedly 200+ pieces of Soviet Propaganda art and when asked why he said it's to remind him how bad communism is lmao

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy

Intel&Sebastian posted:

He also has a collection of reportedly 200+ pieces of Soviet Propaganda art and when asked why he said it's to remind him how bad communism is lmao

Stalin liquidated an entire class of peoples, the kulaks. Speaking of liquidation and tragedy, Seattle's defence.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

The Seahawks are fine.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

The Seahawks are fine.

If you repeat a lie enough you might convince yourself it's the truth

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
You know how fans hate when their players are too busy being in the news for non-football stuff? Well I hate that my head coach is in the news for non-football stuff now.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Foster got community service and probation :toot:

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Spoeank posted:

Foster got community service and probation :toot:

2 years without owning a gun, which is the bare minimum of what should happen after you leave a loaded assault rifle on the floor of your bathroom.

I hope he does better.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Spoeank posted:

Foster got community service and probation :toot:

all the al.com comments are about how the real crime is the state taking his gun away while he's on probation. And that such a sentence is just a big neon sign and now every burglar in america is going to simultaneously converge on his house

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Coldforge posted:

2 years without owning a gun, which is the bare minimum of what should happen after you leave a loaded assault rifle on the floor of your bathroom.

I hope he does better.

There is a chance he had it out where he could get it in case the insane lady came back to kill him

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Raku posted:

There is a chance he had it out where he could get it in case the insane lady came back to kill him

I mean, I know a lot of people use their phones when they're on the shitter, but that's pretty crazy.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Raku posted:

all the al.com comments are about how the real crime is the state taking his gun away while he's on probation. And that such a sentence is just a big neon sign and now every burglar in america is going to simultaneously converge on his house

An nfl linebacker who is somewhat unhinged and keeps loaded assault rifles laying around his home. Yeah, definitely a prime target for a quick b and e

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
usually, it only sounds like someone has an assault rifle in the bathroom :haw:

Maggot Soup
Aug 18, 2005

Wonder how long until the league drops a 4-6 game suspension on Foster. Gotta protect their image! :jerkbag:

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
SI.com has released their 2018 season win predictions.

quote:

LOS ANGELES RAMS: 12–4*
The rich got richer this offseason, and the Rams look to be completely unfair. Ndamukong Suh is now on a defensive line beside Aaron Donald. Marcus Peters and Aqib Talib are in the same secondary. Brandin Cooks adds speed to the offense. The Rams are building a monster, and their youthful wild-card exit last year will only fuel this 2018 campaign.

Pivotal game: Week 15 vs. Philadelphia

No game on paper is as exciting as this one. It’s the site of where Carson Wentz tore his knee and Nick Foles was reborn. Both squads have their third-year quarterback with a team of veterans around them acquired through various trades and deft free agency moves. The NFC title game could be in Philly or L.A. based on the outcome of this game.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: 10–6
No team that missed the playoffs last year should feel as good about their odds in 2018 as the 49ers. They went 5-0 with Jimmy G with three wins against playoff-bound teams. They added Richard Sherman, Weston Richburg, Jerrick McKinnon and Mike McGlinchey after losing Carlos Hyde and Aaron Lynch. I’d say the 49ers got better there. A 10-win season would be San Francisco’s best since 2013, but I don’t see 10 wins (or even 11) getting you a playoff spot in this year’s NFC.

Pivotal game: Week 1 at Minnesota

Talk about a statement game to open the season. Garoppolo has five more games of tape on him, and the Vikings top-ranked defense have all preseason to prepare for the young quarterback and Kyle Shanahan’s offense. If the 49ers can strike an early blow to one of the league’s favorites, we may wind up seeing more than just 10 victories.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: 7–9
The Seahawks as we knew them are no more, and we should all mourn that. As great as Russell Wilson is, there’s simply not enough around him, and Seattle is headed to its first losing record with Wilson under center. Once built with smart draft picks, the Seahawks had to go out in free agency this offseason to get parts like Jaron Brown, Brandon Marshall and Maurice Alexander. The Legion of Boom is gone, taking the identity of this team and its juice with it.

Pivotal game: Week 6 at Oakland

Plenty of storylines in this one. Jon Gruden gets to go against a quarterback he gushed about for years on Monday Night Football. Marshawn Lynch faces his former squad. Hey, did you know Russell Wilson and Derek Carr are both shorter-than-average NFL quarterbacks? All this and more in a West Coast tilt between teams looking for their footing.

ARIZONA CARDINALS: 4–12
The Cardinals are going to have to find themselves in the desert this year. I believe first-year head coach Steve Wilks will soon have success in Arizona, but not this season. The quarterback situation with veteran Sam Bradford and future-of-the-franchise Josh Rosen will be a difficult one to navigate for the defensive-minded first-time head coach. There was a great deal of roster turnover this offseason for a team looking for a new identity.

Pivotal game: Week 4 vs. Seattle

Only once since 2011 has a team won both of the games in this series. Both teams are in transition, and Arizona striking the early blow at home against their division rivals could change the Cardinals’ fortunes—or at least get them out of fourth in the NFC West and up to third.

Here's last year's for comparison:

quote:

Seattle Seahawks: 10–6 (actual record: 9-7)
The Seahawks get to play three of their four scheduled primetime games at home, where they don’t lose. They play games in the Eastern Time Zone just twice. There are no back-to-back road games. Pete Carroll couldn’t have drawn it up any more favorably.

Pivotal game: Week 10 at Cardinals. If the Raiders were on the schedule, you better believe I’d put the Marshawn Lynch game here. Only once since 2010 has the Seattle-Arizona series been a sweep, and I don’t expect it to happen this year, either. I’ll take the Cardinals in this one coming off a bye and a game against the 49ers.

Arizona Cardinals: 10–6 (actual record: 8-8)
Speaking of favorable schedules, the Cardinals got one, too. Sure, they start the season on the road in consecutive games, but it’s against the Lions and Colts. They get a bye after their London trip to face the Rams and host three straight games in late November into early December. Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald should get one more postseason trip before hanging it up.

Pivotal game: Week 16 vs. Giants. The Cardinals close with the Seahawks, but I’ve already decided that series gets split. The most pivotal game after those two is the penultimate one, against New York. Peterson vs. Beckham. Mathieu flying around. The Giants’ defense trying to contain Fitzgerald. Merry Christmas Eve, fans.

Los Angeles Rams: 6–10 (actual record: 11-5, won division)
This team is as much of an unknown as any right now. The Rams have a millennial as a first-year coach. Wade Phillips is bringing a 3–4 defense and moving Robert Quinn to linebacker. Jared Goff can only improve off last season. L.A. won four games last year, and six may be a stretch for this season, but who can say?

Pivotal game: Week 4 at Cowboys. Dallas will be coming off a bruising start that includes a Week 3 Monday night game against Arizona. Meanwhile, the Rams have the 49ers on Thursday night the week before. Phillips will be scheming against his old team, and he may have some tricks up his sleeve for Dak Prescott.

San Francisco 49ers: 2–14 (actual record: 6-10)
Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch got six-year contracts because it’s clear turning around this franchise is going to take some time. Lynch knocked his first draft move out of the park when he robbed Chicago of picks to trade down one spot and still get his guy (and then get Reuben Foster later). What concerns me the most about this team before the season starts is that Shanahan will be the offensive play-caller and head coach in his first year at the helm. That’s a lot of responsibility for a rookie.

Pivotal game: Week 12 vs. Seahawks. I highly doubt the 49ers will find many wins in the first half of the season, so staying competitive in some of those early games would be more pivotal in reality than for our purposes. How the team responds to its Week 11 bye and the ensuing game against the Seahawks could be more revealing. Is this a team that will be energized heading into December with things to build on, or are they going to lie down?

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Jun 7, 2018

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Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
The predictions for last season are actually pretty good. No one could've predicted Jimmy G going to the niners and not a single person in the league saw a winning season coming from the Rams.

I think the Cardinals can pull out more than 4 wins this season. Bradford is better than Palmer was last season and Rosen has the stuff too so the Cardinals have gotten better at QB (not to mention getting Johnson back who was so crucial to their success in 2015). Still, he's right that it's all about the coaching. If Arians was still there predicting a 4 win season would be sacrilege and I don't know anything really about this Wilks guy

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