LadyPictureShow posted:

John Goodman in The Big Lebowski. I think he freaked out and pulled a gun when an opposing bowler stepped over the foul line.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Maury?

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Oh man there was a show about lie detectors and if you thought your partner was cheating or lying you could have them submit to the polygraph

It was great watching relationships implode over nothing at all

Anyway I hope that dude gets out safely

Ham Sandwiches posted:

It was a show that had maybe a season and aired a few years ago. Can't seem to find it, there's like a UK version of maury that does the polygraph schtick now but that's not the one I was thinking of. In particular there was a fun episode where a fiancee didn't trust her BF's bachelor party vegas trip so he had to admit that despite promising no strippers...

In response to the second story just posted, it seems you can have some pretty wicked affairs if you become friends with a polygraph provider

Switchback posted:

What is the show! You can’t drop some juicy media and not give a hint where to get in on this

quote:

Some short background...married for 5 yrs together for 12 with a 2yr. old son.

Long story short my wife has been contemplating divorce and to seems to be searching for a reason.

she wants me to submit to a lie detector test to see if her suspicion of me being gay is true or not. This idea came from an incident a few months ago where she saw me in front of our house talking to a passer by who she said was "obviously" gay and since I was talking to him I must therefore be gay.

The question is should I take this test for her? I feel that bybdoing so she will be demeaning our whole relationship and I don't see how I can continue in this relationship after being subjected to this!

Thoughts?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

oh my god there's a whole genre of lie detector posts, you hit a goldmine

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

oh my god there's a whole genre of lie detector posts, you hit a goldmine

Boyfriend of 2 yrs cheated whilst I was pregnant with his baby

quote:

I met my GF about a year ago. We met online. She has been single (but dated around) for last few years. I was skeptical at first to get in a relationship because I have never been with a mother before. She has a 6 year old son. I literally moved in with her within the first two weeks of meeting. I know crazy. I told her before I moved in that I had a slight drinking problem in the past, but I don’t really drink much at all.

Slowly over the months I started drinking a little privately and that really pissed her off. I even went out once when she was out of town and was flirting with women (it didn’t mean anything to me, just the alcohol talking). We had a major fight over this, but moved on.

She got pregnant few months ago. Then I started drinking/smoking with my coworker in my car during lunch break – and of course she was very angry that I would do this. I just wanted company while drinking, and I could not get that kind of company with my GF. I also hung out with strippers for fun, nothing sexual happened (although once again I did flirt). But of course she was angry again, can’t blame her. She decided to call my coworker in the middle of the night and told her off big time. She was upset that my coworker knew I am taken and yet decided to drink with me. Oh BTW, she was able to hack into my phone and find out that I was talking to my coworker as friends (never flirted). I moved out of her home due to all this (She wanted me out), but we made the decision to move in soon and try again. She wanted me to take a lie detector test before moving in, but I was against that. So we settled on her being able to check my phone anytime she wants to.

Things were getting better but very soon I found a pair of woman’s sunglasses in my car. I honestly assumed it was my GF’s so I gave it to her. She flipped out because it was not hers and I was honestly clueless whose it was. I thought perhaps it was my coworkers when we used to hangout in the car, so I told her I would ask her. That night my GF went online found my coworkers Instagram pictures and posted her phone number on craigslist pretty much like a prostitute. My coworker got furious over this because she was getting a lot of random calls all night. I had no idea this happened until next day at work. I told my GF this is crazy and illegal. She wanted to come down to my work and make a scene at my work to squash this all out. I honestly thought she would so I told my boss about what may happen soon. He was understanding, but I was truly upset after all this. She never did come to my work, but she does not feel about the craigslist thing at all. I still don’t know whose sunglasses they are either. I never had anyone else in my car. By now things were getting pretty bad quickly and we both were not sure if it will work out. We kinda were broken up still living together and maybe thinking it may get better but She recently once again hacked into my phone and found out I was googling massage spots after work. She brought up lie detector test again and why I don’t want to take it. Anyways, I moved back out again and this time maybe for good. She said she does not want to see me ever again. I don’t know what to do at this point since she is having my baby. I know I got to make changes in my life for the better, but any advice would help.

tl;dr: GF is pregnant and is upset that I lied her about drinking/hanging out with other woman in the past and holds on to it and makes things even worse by her actions

quote:

Then make sure you never get back together and solely focus on coparenting your kid.


Why not try to get back together? You think it's not possible? I mean I don't know if I want to deal with all the controlling part either, but perhaps we both can get better in our own way

LadyPictureShow posted:

Woof, you ain’t kidding. Forget gold Wizard, we’ve uncovered a loving pharaoh’s tomb here!

Me [31 M] with my GF [31 F] of 10 months, is pregnant and have trust issues


I only lie about my drinking problem and flirt with strippers. This lie detector poo poo is unreasonable!
Though the GF sounds like a real piece of work too...

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

LadyPictureShow posted:

Woof, you ain’t kidding. Forget gold Wizard, we’ve uncovered a loving pharaoh’s tomb here!

Me [31 M] with my GF [31 F] of 10 months, is pregnant and have trust issues

I only lie about my drinking problem and flirt with strippers. This lie detector poo poo is unreasonable!
Though the GF sounds like a real piece of work too...

quote:

My boyfriend (25.m) and I (25.f) have been dating for 2.5 years so far. We live together. We love each other dearly and have built a great home. We push each other in our careers and we also are very open about our feelings, etc.

We have a lot of fun. I thought I wanted to marry him. We were doing counseling together for some issues we had, but mainly to address my own garbage.

The main reason why I ended up in counseling was because I would get physically sick thinking about sex sometimes. I was molested by a doctor when I was a teenager. I tried telling people but no one believed me. I then, finally, met a guy that I thought I could set my sex issues aside for and once I opened up, he secretly filmed me and placed the tape onto the internet.....talk about Bad Luck Brian.

As a result, I can't look or think of porn without getting an overwhelming sense of nausea, anxiety, and hate. It really, really sucks because sex is everywhere--I flip the channels when people even kiss on TV. Whenever a guy compliments me, when I get looked at, or when even someone smiles at me: I feel like I'm going to get molested again and I cringe.

My boyfriend knows about all of this. He has been with me to therapy, helped me out, let me talk to him about it. He is the first person I feel good with. I told him, from day one, that to live with me- no porn can be used. He used it once while I was away, then he saw the anxiety and how distant I became and said he would "promise to stop." This was two years ago.

I realized that chances are, he won't uphold this. The thing is, I realize this may be a difficult task to accomplish but at the end of the day--I was clear and upfront as to how I was. My whole life is destroyed by these situations and I'm working hard to get help. Hell, I'm posting about it...something I never thought I would do. Counseling has helped but there is a long road ahead of me.

So now that you guys have the backstory as to why I am such a pain in the rear end about this......

The issue that led me here: On Monday, I was trying to get our grill working. Because we had been running around all day, I told him I would go get the broken part so he can eat some of the food I had made earlier. He was alone for about 30 minutes, but when I got home my family was there. He said, "hey, I just want to let you know I was looking up a boxing gym and a bunch of porn ads came up...." I looked at him with a really confused face. "Porn ads? What gym did you look up?" I looked it up, no porn ads from my phone nor his phone again.

I got really anxious right away. There is no way these come up unless 1) maybe he forgot to close all windows before private browsing was exited 2) he was on a torrent site 3) he is trying to make sure I know about it because I'm sure a deleted history would have caused more concern.

I got very angry and upset, obviously. I told him before I would leave him. He's now telling me, why don't you do a polygraph on me? I will pass, if I don't -- I will pay you back and move out.

I don't know what to feel. I'm losing my best friend but this is a major issue for me. I know a lot of couples are porn friendly but I hope people understand my situation. I don't WANT to be like this, because at the end of the day, I know men masturbate to random women, etc. Who cares....my point is that porn destroyed how I felt about myself, caused me to feel horrible, and put me in a pretty bad mental state for awhile. Nothing feels worse than knowing that thousands of men have had access to your most personal moments.

I realize a relationship is done when it gets to this point. But is there a chance he is telling me the truth? I told him I really don't want to subject myself or him through that----just to find out that he is lying. I don't know....it just seems like he wants to prove his innocence but I can't explain what happened at all.....I love him and I think it is evident he is madly in love with me, but I don't see an explanation for what happened. I've been mean, cold, and distant from him. We've been sleeping in different beds and last night he begged me to sleep with him. I just want him out if he lied to me.....

tl;dr: My boyfriend wants me to do a lie detector to prove that he didn't watch porn so I can finish my therapy and let our relationship thrive. I don't want to get to that point but I also don't want to lose my relationship.

quote:

Randomly found this thread looking for the best torrent site. You are a dumb bitch break up with him I did not read 1 word in that wall you whore

quote:

A little background (throwaway, for obvious reasons):

I grew up in small Southern town, went to a mid-sized college for Fashion Merchandising, went to work in my field, and three years ago I met my fiance, let's call him Barry.

I am reasonably successful at my job, and Barry is ridiculously successful at his, in addition to coming from a fairly well-off family. We started dating LD and then I moved to his city with a promotion to regional and we moved in together. I love this city and all of my new friends here. I love my new position, and I love my fiance. We're looking at houses and everything.

We're a great match. Barry is charming, wonderful, thoughtful and attentive, everything I want in a man. His family is very supportive of us and our plans, as is mine. When he proposed last year with a beautiful ring at the beach, I gleefully accepted. We talked about it and we agreed on a prenup to protect us both, in case of the worth.

My motivation was to protect the inheritance I'm anticipating from my grandmother (a family farm of about 50 acres) and my parent's home, when they eventually pass. There's also some jewelry and antique china and other things I would never want to lose. It's not a lot, compared to Barry's holdings, but it's mine and I would never want anything to happen to it. Nor would I want anything from Barry if we divorced. So I didn't think anything of agreeing to a prenup.

Only now his lawyer is putting it together. We're still over 8 months out to the wedding date, so this is a perfectly reasonable step. My lawyer looked it over and agreed it was pretty fair, according to the laws of our state. I agreed with him that we should go ahead with it, and he made the arrangements for this Friday. I went ahead and took the day off to go sign the papers and have lunch with Barry to celebrate.

But when I got it back from my attorney, I noticed that part of what I'll be expected to do is participate in a polygraph examination. So will Barry. I can put together a list of questions for him, and he can do the same for me. But we'll be making the answers hooked up to a lie detector. I've done these in the past for security checks, so I know how they work. But...

Here's the problem: when Barry and I got together at first and we were exchanging particulars after our first date (we met at Virgin Gorda, BVI. Beautiful!) and he casually asked about the number of men I'd been with. The usual sexual history stuff all adults do.

At the time I didn't think much of it, and gave him my usual answer: five. That seemed reasonable, even a little conservative, at the time. I only counted LTRs since high school and the boy I lost my virginity to as "real" relationships, not the high school boys I fooled around with or the other guys I've met.

But here's the thing: in the suggestions my attorney sent me for questions, where he told me that the other side will be asking similar questions, there are a LOT about sexual past and infidelity.

So here's my problem, I wasn't entirely honest with Barry, back then. My actual count of guys I've had sex with is higher. I was a free spirit in college before I figured out what I wanted to do and took a year off to travel before graduating. That was a very fun year, sexually speaking. I made a lot of mistakes, of course, but I was getting valuable experience and learning a lot about myself.

But I know Barry would not be happy with the real number. Maybe even enough to postpone or cancel the wedding. That would devastate me. But his family is a little conservative and religious. I know he doesn't have much respect for infidelity or women who sleep around. I'm terrified that he'll ask me those questions or learn about the few times I've cheated in past relationships. We've been together almost constantly for 3 years and I love him deeply. I don't know what to do.

I'm no longer that girl who did all those things, I've grown and matured. I just don't think Barry will see it that way. He's a lot less sexually experienced than me (only 8 partners, total) and he does get a little jealous when I mention my exes. He found out about something I did with one guy that I've declined to do with Barry and he was hurt about it for weeks. I don't what he'll do if he learns about all that I've done.

So what do I do? I've already confirmed my appointment for Friday before I figured this out, and now I'm a trainwreck. If I back out, he's going to want to know why. If I admit lying, he's not going to trust me. I'm a basket case and can't even go into work over this. Thoughts?

tl;dr: 31F agreed to prenup before wedding, learns her 34M fiancee has a polygraph test involved and she's scared of the results

Ham Sandwiches posted:

This post features polygraphs, pre nups, and advanced math

I [31F] agreed to a prenup with my [34M] fiancee - no problem. Now I know there's a polygraph involved.


This one is pretty amazing, I would imagine if you had a person willing to do a pre nup that the polygraph would be unnecessary. Was he thinking that this was a good way to ask her about this stuff? It doesn't seem incidental, more like something this dude wanted to try to answer before getting married. It's even funnier that yeah, he guessed right. I think it's dumb that he gives a poo poo but apparently he does and lol. If I had to guess the one incident that he was 'hurt about for weeks' lol is what started the polygraph poo poo.

quote:

Goodmorning!

Last weekend I went out with two of my former bridesmaids, one was a MOH and one was a bridesmaid.

There is a long history between us, We all used to be best friends then they just started doing stuff without me, so on and so on. We are at very different points in our lives. My Husband(27M) and I both have 9-5 "adult jobs", go on vacations, have an older group of friends, rarely go out (we like to drink we just do it at friends houses), want to buy a house soon, are financially stable. I always tried to not let this effect everything, but it does. They both work odd hours, constantly going out, doing coke all the time, acting like idiots, they are always broke to do anything, but literally go out 4 times a week, and eat out constantly. Their new friend group is loud and annoying. (my husband is a teacher and hates when people are always screaming, because his students are always screaming, and they get all hosed up on coke and scream ALOT.)

I knew about a year ago i should have cut them off. (about 6 months before my wedding) but I didn't. Everything was going so fast and I didn't want to be an rear end in a top hat.

I am young, so my two friends were young and didn't really take the whole thing seriously and be as supportive as i would have liked. Everything went okay the wedding weekend, and since then i've been talking to them less and less, they never invite me anywhere, its awkward now.

Me and MOH also have a large history. We moved in with another girl in a large city when we were 18. MOH has always ditched me for guys but this one was the worst, she stopped paying rent, wouldn't take our calls or texts, this went on for like 5 weeks before we had to kick her out. I was so insanely hurt, my chest hurt for months. Everyone told me to throw out all of her stuff, gently caress her blah blah. But people make mistakes, so i packed up all of her stuff alone (she left it all) and drove to her mothers house to drop it off, and of course, she left moments before so she wouldn't have to see me, which hurt me the most.

We reconnected a couple years ago, she had a job, a good boyfriend i thought people change everyone is an rear end in a top hat when they are 18, but she never said sorry for what happened, which i should have seen as a sign.

So I made an effort this past weekend with them, I called and we met at a bar downtown. They were really late, leaving me to sit by myself on a Saturday night, whatever things happen, they were prob doing coke... So they come and we all have fun and drink and catch up, then every like 15 minutes they keep disappearing to go to the bathroom together, then stay in the bathroom for like 20 minutes...i can assume what they are doing, but they say they are not whatever. I try to be nice and buy everyone shots, they both say yes and then when i order them and bring them back to the table they complain the whole time about them (it was just fireball, i honestly didn't know what else to get its a college bar?) then say they need to go to the bathroom, they say they were puking in there for like 30 minutes, leaving me alone with their semi friends. this goes on and on we go somewhere else they leave me alone with their boyfriends to go to the bathroom, whatever i like there S.O.'s. But then they come back and talk about what to do next and both make plans to go to one of their houses and i'm not a very shy person i will calls someone out if they are purposely ignoring/excluding me. It honestly felt like middle school, all i wanted to do is go home and cry to my husband. So I got up got my purse and said, this is the reason i dont hang out with you anymore, then left hailed a cab and went home.

So to make this short, me and my MOH had like a last text like its done and blocked both of their numbers, we unfollowed each other on everything, i'm extremely sad but i know its for the best.

My question is, they are in all of my wedding photos, am i ever going to be able to look at those and not get sad about how i miss them/were not friends?

TLDR; Not friends with my MOH or bridesmaid anymore, how can i look at my wedding pictures and still feel happy?/move on?

Sorry for the length, and if anything is confusing.

Kuros posted:

I say draw mustaches on the bridesmaids.

Kuros posted:

How am I (23F) supposed to look happily at my wedding photos when I just cut off half of my former bridesmaids?(20s)


I say draw mustaches on the bridesmaids.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

This post features polygraphs, pre nups, and advanced math

I [31F] agreed to a prenup with my [34M] fiancee - no problem. Now I know there's a polygraph involved.


This one is pretty amazing, I would imagine if you had a person willing to do a pre nup that the polygraph would be unnecessary. Was he thinking that this was a good way to ask her about this stuff? It doesn't seem incidental, more like something this dude wanted to try to answer before getting married. It's even funnier that yeah, he guessed right. I think it's dumb that he gives a poo poo but apparently he does and lol. If I had to guess the one incident that he was 'hurt about for weeks' lol is what started the polygraph poo poo.

Haifisch posted:

My boyfriend (25.m) of 2.5 years told me (25.f) to do a lie detector test....over porn....what do I do?

quote:

So today (1/11/15) I wake up like any normal Sunday around 11 in the morning and head to the bathroom to take a piss. My wife is doing her hair because she had some nail decorating thing with my side of the family today while I watched some football alone. Was excited. Well as I am peeing her phone goes off and it was sitting on the top of the toilet so I see it is a snap. She picked the phone up real quick and drug the status bar down, then right back up without looking at the snap then hit the power button to turn the phone off.

Red flag #1. Reason being, she always just looks at the snaps around me because we know everyone we talk to. We don't hide anything from each other. So I thought.... So she eventually leaves to go to the family thing doing nails and all, whatever. [snip]

HOWEVER...DUN DUN DUN...I NEVER snoop, EVER....I am one who trusts you 100% until you do something to make me feel otherwise. However I had a really bad pit in my stomach and felt this 100% was in jeopardy and decided to log into her snap chat, password was fairly simple to figure out... So I am in. First thing I see is an unopened chat message from some person that I have never seen before. I open it up and...

"I want you very very badly"

So now...immediately I am like WTF...Now keep in mind I am a very mild tempered person and do not get mad very easily. However I am about to flip poo poo at this point. However. I get logged out. I guess she logged back in and you can only be logged in on one phone at a time. I then log back in and she said something that I didn't screenshot saying that something logged her out and she didn't see what he said. He then said this. I must of missed something she said in between as well. You know since it deletes everything you say after you close it.

"Had 2 snaps recently. Just asking how it was and i miss u"

Now I am like who the gently caress. Later on I find out it is a co worker that is also her boss while her real boss isn't in the office. So now I am sitting here thinking, I wanna hear something more convincing so I simply response as her saying "Oh yea? What do you miss most!?", hoping this would squash what I thought was happening in my head. Nope...this is what he said...

"About you? I miss your smile, and conversation in person. We can laugh about anything. And the sex is amazing"

I immediately just lose feeling in my body...I sit in my chair and basically just blank stare thinking of my life in ruins...We were just talking about starting to try and have our first kid. We have been married for 3 years now. We have 2 houses...one we live in and one we rent. We make good money. We have sex very frequently. She has shown no signs of dissatisfaction at home. Why would she do something like this?

[tl;dr: Lying happens,]

EDIT/UPDATE - IF YOU MENTION THAT I SHOULD LAWYER UP, PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY. I right now feel that even if she does admit to this or I find out some other way that our divorce would not be a sour one. As much as she would be a bad person for doing what she did. I truly feel in my heart that she wouldn't do anything to make matters worse.

[tl;dr: More lying happens, 'it was just emotional cheating', guy also spends a few paragraphs thanking the reddit detectives who helped him put together the most difficult puzzle, also turns out wife & coworker actually did gently caress.]

She finally broke down and the words "promise me you won't take this to work" came out of her mouth and I knew...My phone went off and I used that as an excuse and said hold that thought...clicked through my phone real quick turning on the voice recorder and got it all on tape. Fml....I flipped poo poo...clearly...only a cracked bedroom door though so I am happy that was all the damage I did. I broke a lamp too but who gives a gently caress.

I then made her get in the car with me and drove to his house a hour and 15 minutes away and I told his wife. She tried to beat up my wife and trick me into unlocking the door but I was videoing the whole thing and told her not to do it but she tried to anyways. Obviously I stopped it from happening. I sat there with her and the douchebag fucker for a half hour making sure she knew the full truth and how he was going to tell her just as my soon to be ex wife was telling me it was only emotional. He admitted to everything as he knew he couldn't lie.

[tl;dr: Guy's a moron who tries to save the marriage]

We knew it was going to take 3 steps minimum and those are

1. To make sure this is even what we want. Did we want to try and make it work together? Are we willing to put forth 100% to trying to reconcile the marriage. After we answered yes to that.
2. Get rid of the guy. I said in order for this to even have a chance, he would have to be out of the picture. Now this was a tricky one and continues to be because they work for the same Company obviously being co-workers. Well today, she talked to him and it really is up to her how it gets handled but one of them has to go and quite frankly I don't give a poo poo who it is. Has nothing to do with my side of working this out. I told her until that is done, we have nothing else to talk about.
But 3. Was counselling and the actual trying of repairing and reconciling the marriage. So that is where I stand. I want nothing but to be with my wife, i love her and there is a reason I married her. She tried to hug me last night when I was leaving and I broke down yet again because I wasn't ready for her to touch me. Doesn't mean I don't want to be with her and around her.

[tl;dr guy bends over backwards justifying why he won't immediately ]

Haifisch posted:

I cut out large chunks of this because the original post was 34.5k characters long. Here's a link in case you feel like subjecting yourself to it for some reason, but I boiled it down to its essence.

[29/M] Thought I found my wife [25/F] cheating on me with proof. After days, has the truth come out? Next step?

quote:

I read that story and can not believe I ended up more upset at the OP than any other insane person in the story.

MarcusSA posted:

Two things.

First aren’t like 90% it make ballet dancers gay? I swear I read something like that.

Second lol he can’t even lift a twig of a dancer. He needs to work on that and she’s right.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

That's probably about as accurate as any other stereotype of x profession being gay, possibly sour grapes given male ballet dancers are presumably 90% super fit attractive dudes who wear tight clothes and work with skinny women in leotards.

Barudak posted:

It doesnt matter, she does theater, shes hosed everyone and everything willing in that theater and if he doesnt bulk up hes gonna be the one not getting laid on the rebound.

Haifisch posted:

I cut out large chunks of this because the original post was 34.5k characters long. Here's a link in case you feel like subjecting yourself to it for some reason, but I boiled it down to its essence.

[29/M] Thought I found my wife [25/F] cheating on me with proof. After days, has the truth come out? Next step?

fruit on the bottom posted:

I feel like that covers almost everything.

Barudak posted:

Be less tentative when tenaciously pretending he has forgotten something in his often repeated yet tenuous rubric.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Well alright...

Hey switchhack, what do I say if I’ve had exactly ten partners?

Leon Einstein posted:

Why do these jealous people even ask questions that they can't handle the answers to?

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

If you've hosed your partner "less than 10 before you my dear" if you haven't "it'll be more than 10 once we get together".

Motronic posted:

20 year old marries a 16 year old. What could possibly go wrong?

I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg.