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Couch goon: for a wild new kink, try cutting off your dick. It’s varsity level stuff but you might be able to handle it. Good luck, have fun, and as always be safe!
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Jun 10, 2018 00:15
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The Diddler posted:There's no way people jerk it to this. I'm not buying it. Sure they do. Those faces are basically softcore, sfw ahegao faces.
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Jun 10, 2018 02:42
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wut
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Jun 10, 2018 02:47
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value-brand cereal posted:Sure they do. Those faces are basically softcore, sfw ahegao faces. 
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Jun 10, 2018 03:10
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marathon Stairmaster sesh posted:Thief goon: Are you recruting a gunslinger, a samurai that can cut through anything and a femfatale (that half of the time betrays you but is easily forgiven) for a team stealing the Pope's hat? Oh I've seen this. This is Ocean's Twelve right?
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Jun 10, 2018 03:16
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The pope's hat is kinda easy. Get married, visit Rome within a year/on your honeymoon, buy one of those little white hat things at the stores in Rome, and the pope will try it on, if you get the right size, he permanently switches with you his old hat for your new one. Nice thing is that the money from "guess the pope's head size" game goes to their charities. Buddy of mine married a Catholic girl and did that.
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Jun 10, 2018 03:50
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Why would you want to steal something as lame as the pope's hat? At least have some ambition and steal something that's actually valuable like the crown jewels. Because under Vatican Law if you're wearing the Pope's hat you are the Pope!
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Jun 10, 2018 04:18
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This is true and is why the wily Argentinean has the true pope hat locked down by the Swiss guard at all times. He's a cooler new style pope but he's not stupid and learned from the Borgia days
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Jun 10, 2018 06:49
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Dear creeping masturbators Your aren’t even special, and you can just go anon post on the edgelord forums if you want.
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Jun 10, 2018 19:01
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Aren't there like a ton of pope crowns/hats though? There isn't just one that gets passed down, they've got a bunch of them.
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Jun 10, 2018 19:09
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Kink Goon posted:The couch was actually a disguised sex machine. I was on all fours with a ball gag while a massive dildo was mechanically pounding my rear end. Clamps on my nipples were being pulled in opposite directions while a modified milking machine stroked my cock and collected the semen for later. All of this was covered by a plywood box, with cushions and upholstery covering it to look like a couch. What....what was the semen being collected for?
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Jun 10, 2018 19:46
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Theophany posted:So... tell me more about this machine. I've got a wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket and I'm pretty handy with power tools. Are you ready for some eye bleach? https://www.houseofgord.com/machines
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Jun 10, 2018 19:49
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Mad Hamish posted:What....what was the semen being collected for? later
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Jun 10, 2018 19:50
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i clicked. but im not going to click again.
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Jun 10, 2018 19:50
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DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:later I really considered adding "and don't say 'later'" to my post, but decided against it as being too obvious.
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Jun 10, 2018 20:17
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thoughts and prayers posted:Are you ready for some eye bleach? gently caress me. Tag yourself, I’m the Damsel Dangler.
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Jun 10, 2018 20:27
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Oompf Oompf Machine.
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Jun 10, 2018 21:29
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Reciprocal Damsel Fucker So like do these guys live way out in the country where their neighbors don't see this poo poo?
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Jun 10, 2018 23:09
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I'm the ominously named The Dilemma Box which is prop from a failed 60's gameshow. Presumably.
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Jun 11, 2018 00:29
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I'm the Bitch Bender
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Jun 11, 2018 01:10
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I gotta say, the Butt Box looks like a great device. Plus, if you brought it on a boat you could poop over the side with ease.
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Jun 11, 2018 01:24
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HoAssHo posted:I'm the ominously named The Dilemma Box which is prop from a failed 60's gameshow. Presumably.
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Jun 11, 2018 02:09
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PetraCore posted:No whammy no whammy no whammy... i think the point is the whammy
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Jun 11, 2018 03:18
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PetraCore posted:Reciprocal Damsel Fucker I can tell you that there are "special places" for this sort of thing. And say.. just this last weekend there was an outdoor gathering of folk who like that sort of thing, where they closed down a campsite for "private use." That said, the 90's vintage F-150 says something about the dude behind this. And the "variations on a theme" don't show a whole lot of... inventiveness. Usually an obsession with this level of playground gear, also comes with a fair budget for normal life things. EG: modern cars. I'm, vaguely worried about the sort of person Gord is.
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Jun 11, 2018 03:20
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Nerobro posted:I'm, vaguely worried about the sort of person Gord is. ... "vaguely"? 
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Jun 11, 2018 18:01
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thoughts and prayers posted:... "vaguely"? I know he's bad at StarCraft
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Jun 11, 2018 18:16
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quote:About 10 years ago in my early 20s, parts of my dismantled family began to make contact with each other again after a 10 year rift. My parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents finally put some stupid argument over money behind them and we started to become a family again. Some would still not talk to others, but I've never really been one to take sides, especially when these arguments didn't even have anything to do with me. I won't go into too much detail but there was some kind of group purchase or investment or something and things went bad - I was probably too young to properly understand it all. friggin' yikes sorry about your weird family, anon, good job not loving the aunt quote:I had an invisible friend as a kid, like a lot of people did. As I got older he went away, but in high school I was bullied a lot and had no friends. So in my head I started talking to my invisible friend again, just as a coping mechanism for the stress and loneliness. I don't think you're full-on insane but having an unhealthy coping mechanism you're backing up with confirmation bias is more likely than your imaginary friend coming to life Also Sweet Caroline is a really lovely favorite song
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Jun 11, 2018 18:44
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Yeah sweet caroline is that song most normal people hate hearing come on the radio at a bar or anywhere really because everyone feels compelled to sing along (only the chorus though), much like living on a prayer. Also you have probably been reading too much poo poo about tulpas based on how you're talking. They aren't real. No matter what you read on reddit, they are made up bullshit.
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Jun 11, 2018 19:10
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I don't know if the first confession was written with one hand, but I certainly read it with one
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Jun 11, 2018 19:26
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I don't know if the first confession was written with one hand, but I certainly read it with one Felt a little aunti-climactic to me....
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Jun 11, 2018 19:45
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Yeah sweet caroline is that song most normal people hate hearing come on the radio at a bar or anywhere really because everyone feels compelled to sing along (only the chorus though), much like living on a prayer. Are you from Australia? I went there for two weeks. Sweet Caroline would come on the radio and the whole drat bar would sing along. It must have happened 7 or 8 times. I've never seen it outside of Australia and no one seemed to be able to explain why they did it.
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Jun 11, 2018 19:58
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Leviathan Song posted:Are you from Australia? I went there for two weeks. Sweet Caroline would come on the radio and the whole drat bar would sing along. It must have happened 7 or 8 times. I've never seen it outside of Australia and no one seemed to be able to explain why they did it. It's also a thing at Red Sox games, to the extent that Neil Diamond, a lifelong Yankees fan, has been present at Boston city events and obligated to sing it in a Red Sox cap while being filmed and broadcast on TV, which strikes me as completely appropriate karmic punishment for having written that song
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Jun 11, 2018 20:13
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I'll bet that by the pigeonhole principle there is always at least one radio station in your area currently playing Sweet Caroline.
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Jun 11, 2018 20:21
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Leviathan Song posted:Are you from Australia? I went there for two weeks. Sweet Caroline would come on the radio and the whole drat bar would sing along. It must have happened 7 or 8 times. I've never seen it outside of Australia and no one seemed to be able to explain why they did it. never been to australia. I've seen it in bars from florida to new mexico. They get way more into living on a prayer but sweet caroline is a close second.
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Jun 11, 2018 20:35
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I haven't listened to it in years but it seems like most "oldies" stations only have a catalog of about 100 songs they rotate through. You could probably hear Sweet Caroline multiple times per day, every day.
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Jun 11, 2018 20:42
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If Sweet Caroline ever stopped playing for a full minute worldwide, the seal would be broken.
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Jun 11, 2018 20:50
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thoughts and prayers posted:... "vaguely"? We're not here to hear stories about people I was involved with when younger. :-) The ones that matter have grown up, the ones that let me know about the Gord sort I haven't heard about in years. Vaguely is "I could be wrong" and "if he's not hurting anyone.." o/~ Good times never seemed so good.... o/~
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Jun 11, 2018 21:24
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loquacius posted:
Is patchy joe a fuckin lobster or something?
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Jun 11, 2018 21:56
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wesleywillis posted:Is patchy joe a fuckin lobster or something? 
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Jun 11, 2018 22:02
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Good use of subtlety in that last fresh. Leaving what the clawed invisible friend/animal/eldritch actually looks like up to the imagination of the reader also works in multiple levels
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Jun 11, 2018 22:31
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