Cough Drop The Beat posted:

There's some amazing deals out there on Letgo or Craigslist if you're willing to deal with minor wear and tear.

Scathach posted:

I hate LetGo's setup. OfferUp is my favorite.

Barudak posted:

The dude is getting custom themed decor around his lifestyle which pays for their life and has made him wealthy and she is attempting to replace it with likely equally as expensive furniture that is the equivalent of the Papyrus font.

Should she have at least a room or more say in the process still, yes.

quote:

Throwaway because my brother-in-law uses reddit. My husband and I live in a somewhat popular vacation destination and BIL wanted to come visit. After having some problems in his hometown his mom paid for his trip to come stay with us for two weeks to try to get him away from everything. Luckily, tomorrow is his last full day here.

Several days ago I was washing laundry and set a pile on the back of the couch to fold. I put some folded clothes in my room and came back to fold the rest. A pair of panties that had been on top was gone. I assumed it slipped into the cushions but when I searched the couch nothing was found. I assumed the dog ran off with them and searched around, but couldn't find anything.

A day or two later I was in my bathroom doing my makeup, when I came out I saw BIL standing in my room near my dresser. I got weird and asked why he was in my room and he said he was grabbing my selfie stick then walked out.

At this point I started to wonder, but I continued looking for the panties because I didn't want to throw out such a harsh accusation if it turned out to not be true.

Tonight while BIL was in the shower I told my husband who then checked BIL's bag and sure enough found two pairs of my panties. BIL got out of the shower and my husband said they needed to go for a drive. He screamed at him the entire time and when they got back I yelled at him too. He says he doesn't know why he took them and started crying(I think just to make us feel bad).

My husband searched the rest of his bags and found ~7 more pairs, but none of them were mine and he said they're from ex girlfriends, husband threw them in the trash. BIL tried to apologize to me, but I told him I was still mad. He said he felt horrible and I told him he should use that as motivation to stop with the lies and inappropriate behaviors.

Where do I go from here? I feel uncomfortable and he will be with us for another day and a half. I honestly want to hit him.

TL;DR: My brother-in-law took 2 pairs of my panties while visiting. It seems to be something he does regularly. What should my husband and I do from here?

cumshitter posted:

The only way to decorate your home is helium filled inflatable furniture with strings so you can pull down your coffee table or couch when you need to sit. That way you can get hardwood floors and rollerblade inside.

chitoryu12 posted:

My brother-in-law [19M] stole my [20F] panties.

dudeness posted:

quote:

This guy and I started going out 2 months ago and it's been okay so far, with the exception of a few times when he seemed very blunt. I like to do nice things for people and this is the first time that somebody's been downright ungrateful about something I did for them.

I had baked a batch of cookies one afternoon and I usually make it a habit that I bring some to work/school or a friend. I just like sharing my cooking and baking with other people. I'm not looking for compliments or anything, I just like to give these little gifts as a way to say "I thought about you". So I decided to pack a little glass container full of cookies and take it to his house (announced ofc). He took it, said thanks... a week later I asked for the container back because I needed it to store some other desserts. Turns out, he hadn't even eaten them. They were still in the container in his room. He returned the container with the cookies still in it and said that "they could use some improvement". My jaw dropped because I didn't expect someone to tell me to my face that they could care less about my nice gesture.

So I'm standing there, thinking what I should even say. "Sorry, I'll try harder next time"?? I mean seriously...when I don't like someone's food, I just shut up and eat it then compliment the cook no matter what. I just felt so odd that he'd tell me to my face that he doesn't like what I made and the fact that I went out of my way to give them to him when I could've easily given them to someone else who would've appreciated my gesture.

Normally I wouldn't care, but he's been very blunt about other things before and I can't tell if he just doesn't have a filter or he's rude. Is this a red flag? I'm not trying to be a sissy but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or he's actually a jerk...

TL;DR: Guy I'm seeing returned the cookies I made for him and said they needed improvement. He's been blunt about other things before as well. Am I overreacting or is he a jerk who will potentially say very hurtful things down the line?

quote:

Just want to start this with saying we've been together for 3 years and she is without a doubt the girl of my dreams. Except for the part where we have completely different needs for affection. I am very physically affectionate, even in public, and to me that's a needed demonstration of love. My girlfriend HATES being affectionate in public, and especially doesn't like non-straight PDA because she doesn't like how PDA draws attention.

We went to pride today and she shut me off when I tried touching her in a "non-straight" way. She wouldn't let me even kiss her on the cheek or hold hands. At one point i was behind her, I put my hands on her waist, she shrugged me away and directly asked me to stop. I felt humiliated and ashamed which is ironic since we were at pride. I get that she hates PDA, that it makes her uncomfortable, that she doesn't want to draw attention to herself but for gods sake, we're at PRIDE. She acts like we're not together, maybe that's her intention after all, she basically wants us to act like we're straight friends.

When we're alone at home, she's affectionate. We live together and although I am the more physically affectionate one, she loves cuddling, kissing, and initiates almost just as much as I do. It's just when we're in public that she freezes and tells me off.

For the longest time I thought it was because she was ashamed of me, but there's no question she's not. What I'm scared of is that she's ashamed of herself, that she's ashamed of us, that she's ashamed of being gay. I tried talking to her about it, she tells me I'm being ridiculous.

I brought it up on the car ride home, and she told me to "get over yourself. If I don't want to kiss you in public, I don't want to kiss you in public". I honestly get and understand that each person has different levels of comfort with public affection, but I feel so hurt, disrespected, ashamed, and humiliated when I'm with her and she's telling me off for wanting to touch her. I'm not asking for us to make out. I'm asking for her to not shut me down when I hold her hand or touch her back.

Do I need to get over myself or what's going on?

tl;dr: I'm a very affectionate person. My girlfriend hates PDA. At pride today she shut me down and i can't get over it. it's gnawing at me

chitoryu12 posted:

My brother-in-law [19M] stole my [20F] panties.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's a shame she and her husband are contractually obligated to have him stay at their place for another 1.5 days until the end of his trip. They should probably extend him an invitation next summer too

Also what kind of person is married at 20?????

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's a shame she and her husband are contractually obligated to have him stay at their place for another 1.5 days until the end of his trip. They should probably extend him an invitation next summer too

Also what kind of person is married at 20?????

fruit on the bottom posted:

I can't tell if he just doesn't have a filter or he's rude

Haifisch posted:

At pride today, my gf (27/f) wouldn't hug or kiss me (29/f) because she doesn't like gay PDA. Am I wrong for feeling humiliated and hurt?

Hot take: If someone has so much internalized homophobia they don't want to be seen as gay at a pride event, they shouldn't be in a same-sex relationship until they .

Lukewarm take: Don't be with someone who hates all forms of PDA if it's important to you to hold hands and do other minor PDA stuff with your partner.

LadyPictureShow posted:

It must be lovely husband/dad day:

I (43 F) just realized my husband (45) of over 20 years is a creep.


E: post history by the OP

r/alanon



r/divorce

quote:

This morning I was using his laptop when he was out for coffee. I deleted a file and then went back to restore it. I saw a previously deleted video file in the recycling bin, and curiosity got the best of me and I restored it, which in retrospect I feel really bad about. The video was of him jacking off in a public bathroom dated during a time when he was out of town six months ago. We never send illicit pcitures or videos to each other, and I'm really not sure what to make of this. I should have never seen it to begin with -- a huge invasion of his privacy -- so I can't bring it up to him... but why would he record something like this? Is this a huge red flag that he may be cheating on me? Or maybe we were joking about sexting or something six months and he never sent it, or, ugh, I don't know...

For context, we're in a long term relationship of two years. No other red flags; no reason to suspect cheating other than the video. He actually has a lower libido than I have. Otherwise our relationship has been good though a little more tense of late. We're planning on moving in together this summer.

All day I've just had this wrenching feeling in my gut about the video, and I wonder if I'm overreacting or if I really need to talk to him about this or just let it go.

Thanks in advance for the feedback. I can't really talk to anyone else about this for obvious reasons.

TLDR: Snooped on my boyfriend's laptop, found a video of him misturbating in a public place from six months ago when he was out of town, and now anxious over whether he cheated or if it's just relatively harmless.

quote:

TL;DR at bottom.

Right off the bat, I want to make it clear that when I say my wife no longer "puts herself together" I'm not saying that she stopped wearing clubbing dresses all the time or doesn't wear as much makeup as she used to. We live together. I think it would be unfair for me to expect her to have to stand in front of the mirror for an hour just to lounge around in her own home. If she wants to let loose in her own house every now and then, who am I to judge?

Rather, when I say she no longer puts herself together, I mean she'll go days (sometimes weeks) without showering or getting out of her pyjamas/comfort clothing. She works from home and has literally no one in her life other than me. I am her only family, her only friend and her only social contact. When we do groceries, she'll go shower and brush her teeth or whatever. But because she won't step foot out of the house for a week at a time (other than to sit in the car to go to a drive thru), she feels no need to keep up her appearance.

I feel bad saying this, but she also has a smell. And again, I don't expect her to smell of perfume 247. But when I walk by her and can only smell BO, there's a problem. And when we do have sex (maybe once a month) if I use my hands at all, I need to keep them far away from myself or I'll gag. I'll also make a point of not breathing through my nose the entire time. I know vaginas have their own smell and that's fine. I doubt my balls smell like flowers and sunshine. But I've never in my life had to exclusively breath through my mouth during sex to prevent myself from gagging.

I know that there are some mental health issues at play here and am not looking for answers pertaining to this. Not because I don't care, but because that's another issue that we're already working on. I just don't know what to do about this particular issue.

My wife gets upset that we don't have sex like we used to. She, at one point in the past, even used the term "emotional abuse" to describe my innability to put out. But I think that's unfair. I don't believe you can slam someone for having less sex with you if you go from makeup, hair extentions and sexy clothing to pyjamas and extreme body odor overnight.

I don't know what to tell her. My current strategy of making up excuses (I've been having an outrageous amount of "stomach pain" for the last couple years, some real, some made up) ends with her getting upset that we don't have sex, even if she no longer actively gives me poo poo for it like she used to. But if I told her that I'm not attracted to her because of her extreme BO and innability to put herself together, my life would be hell. I already spend at least 30hrs a week being her emotional punching bag on account of said mental health issues. If I told her what's really going on, I'd lose my mind. I don't know what to do. I can't spend the next two months hearing her yell and cry and everything in between for ten hours a day (I'm not exaggerating). I just can't. I've already made posts here under a sifferent account regarding her tendency to use me as an outlet for her depression. I can't knowingly make that situation worse.

TL;DR - Wife no longer takes care of herself. To give an example of the severity, her BO is sometimes so extreme I can smell her the second I walk in the living room. She has mental health issues which result in her venting at me for 30hrs a week minimum. She gets upset that we no longer have sex. If I told her why we don't, I'd spend the next couple months being her emotional punching bag for much longer than the current 30hrs a week and I just can't do it. I don't know what to do, but I can't tell the woman who uses me as a human vent that she is imperfect in any way. I just can't deal with the fallout that would create. What the hell do I do?

quote:

Well of course. As stated, in my post I have a hard time doing such things without sending her into a rage, for lack of a better word. I'm more looking for help breaking it to her. What to say, how to say it, etc.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

So is it internalized heterophobia when my GF doesn't like me theatrically honking on her titties in front of an audience

InediblePenguin posted:

no but the fact that you read a post about gay women who can't HOLD HANDS OR KISS ON THE CHEEK and decided that's equivalent to tittyhonking implies you may have some homophobia to work through hth

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [22 F] with guy I started seeing [24 M], he was very blunt about my cooking and I don't know if this is a red flag

Beachcomber posted:

I think this is negging as seen in the wild.

Pick posted:

Yeah and it’s a mad red flag. If someone doesn’t even appreciate generosity and compassion, just bail

Pick posted:

Yeah and it’s a mad red flag. If someone doesn’t even appreciate generosity and compassion, just bail

QuarkJets posted:

Father's day is coming up isn't it? That may be causing some people to reflect on how lovely their SOs are at being fathers

Haifisch posted:

My Wife [F 20s] is Upset That I [M 20s] Am Never In the Mood for Sex, But She Won't Put Herself Together

PetraCore posted:

It sounds like he didn't even eat any of the cookies, which was a major BS flag to me. If you're passionate about baking I can see not lying about bad cookies being good, but usually that would be delivered with like... tact and maybe concrete suggestions. EDIT: And gratitude for the thought and effort.

Pick posted:

Yep exactly

Or you say “let’s make them together next time” to figure out what she does wrong and help demonstrate the right way to do it

La Brea Carpet posted:

FFS people just use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag. Add some extra vanilla if you want to get crazy.

La Brea Carpet posted:

FFS people just use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag. Add some extra vanilla if you want to get crazy.

La Brea Carpet posted:

FFS people just use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag. Add some extra vanilla if you want to get crazy.

InediblePenguin posted:

no but the fact that you read a post about gay women who can't HOLD HANDS OR KISS ON THE CHEEK and decided that's equivalent to tittyhonking implies you may have some homophobia to work through hth

Pick posted:

Yeah and it’s a mad red flag. If someone doesn’t even appreciate generosity and compassion, just bail

chitoryu12 posted:

Emotionally abusing your wife by refusing to wear a gas mask to go down on her.

PetraCore posted:

It sounds like he didn't even eat any of the cookies, which was a major BS flag to me. If you're passionate about baking I can see not lying about bad cookies being good, but usually that would be delivered with like... tact and maybe concrete suggestions. EDIT: And gratitude for the thought and effort.

Barudak posted:

Do not ruin for a new generation of idiots that the secret family recipe was the tollhouse cookie instructions

Barudak posted:

Do not ruin for a new generation of idiots that the secret family recipe was the tollhouse cookie instructions

Barudak posted:

Do not ruin for a new generation of idiots that the secret family recipe was the tollhouse cookie instructions

HOT BREAD! posted:

"Reddit, how do I fundamentally change the man of my dreams' interests and personality? I'd preferably like to figure this out before we get married, k thx"

Also I'm 29 and my dad is 52 years old. loving gross, lady