/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

fruit on the bottom posted:

�Bubsy, quit picking on Gex. We�re here to support your brother, Crash Bandicoot.�

I [25M] want to propose [25F] however we both still live with our parents

I'm a HUGE advocate for living together before you get married, and if you can't afford to get an apartment together, maybe you could put off getting married? Nothing says you need to be engaged just because it's been 4 years.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:47

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# ? May 29, 2024 11:19

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol I'm sure it wasn't intentional but this makes it sound like there was at least one one wife in between the two who you don't talk about

lol no, only two wives haha. Deffo don't talk about the first one that often anymore, but it's just a point of reference that I've known four women who married people with my last name and only one of them (my grandmother) took it. And then she changed back when they got divorced.

Of my dad's sisters I believe all changed their last name on their first marriage so I think it's just people not wanting this name lol.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:51

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

I'm a huge advocate of having your adult poo poo together before going down the marriage road and a couple of 25 year olds who live with their parents do not.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:52

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

fruit on the bottom posted:

�Bubsy, quit picking on Gex. We�re here to support your brother, Crash Bandicoot.�

I [25M] want to propose [25F] however we both still live with our parents

Propose moving in together, maybe.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:54

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

My girlfriend (17, F) has really bad hygiene, but it isn't really her fault because she is so poor, what can I do?

quote:

(tl;dr : my girlfriend has bad personal hygiene but it isn't really her fault because she comes from a very poor family and her mother is an alcoholic so there is never enough money to keep clean. Is there anything I can do to help?)

I've been dating this girl for about six months and I really like her - she's beautiful, intelligent and a lovely person - but the only problem is, her hygiene is pretty bad. She comes from a very poor background, and she lives in a council house with her mother (who is an alcoholic and doesn't work) and her younger sister. They hardly have any money, and it's really a choice for her between keeping clean and having enough food on the table.

A few of the problems:

She only showers once a week when we're at college ( we are both 17) and in summer just once a fortnight, sometimes even less. She always smells a bit of sweat and B.O., and her face is always oily and spotty. When you get close to her, her underarms really stink.

Her hair is quite greasy and unwashed

She only changes her underwear once a week

Her feet stink of cheese - whenever she takes her shoes off, you can smell it as soon as you go into the room.

She only cleans her teeth once or twice a week, and so they're always bright yellow and really dirty-looking - like, covered in plaque and bits of rotting food. Her breath absolutely reeks, I have to kind of hold my nose when we're kissing, and when she leans over in class to talk to me I sometimes have to turn away to avoid smelling it.

It's not that she doesn't know how bad her hygiene is, she says things like 'you might not want to kiss me cos I haven't brushed my teeth in ages'. I've offered to buy her stuff or let her come shower at my house when my parents aren't in, but she always refuses and she says she doesn't want me to feel like she's only going out with me for the stuff I can give her (I wouldn't call myself rich, but compared to her my family are definitely at least middle class).

Is there anything else I can do to help? I'm not going to break up with her because I really like her, but I don't want other people being mean about how she looks and smells. I really think I could fall in love with this girl and I want to look out for her.

UPDATE - Just thought I'd post to say how things are. Had a conversation with her this morning and she kind of agreed, she said she was tired of waking up every morning dirty and able to smell herself. We had a long conversation about all the things that make keeping clean tough for her, and it seems to me that with her mother not helping, she's become a kind of parental figure to her sister and she's been neglecting herself to help her sister. Also she admits she sometimes feels like it's not worth keeping clean because her house is pretty dirty too and she feels she can't get away from it. I offered to help out and she resisted at first but I told her it was because I cared about her and wanted her to be healthy and eventually she agreed to let me buy her some stuff. Then we had a shower together and I scrubbed her feet, armpits and private bits clean with my hands, and afterwards she cleaned her teeth. She really is a beautiful girl when she looks and smells clean, and her breath was fresh for once. She's told me she's going to shower more often and wash her feet and genitals with water every night even if she can't have a shower. Finally she's going to get a weekend job at the supermarket so she has some money for herself that her mum can't spend. Hopefully things will get better for her and I'm going to help her out by buying her some of the stuff she needs. Thanks for all your advice everyone.

I don't get how being poor only lets you brush your teeth twice a week, unless you're renting the toothbrush.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:56

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

My wife wants to take my last name, but 95% of people pronounce it how it's spelled and it would drive her nuts not to ever be addressed "correctly". I'm perfectly happy for her to keep the name she had when I fell in love with her.

I am thinking of just changing the spelling to match the pronunciation once there's no one left to disapprove, but that will hopefully not be possible for a long, long time.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Just take new names so you can be Mr. and Mrs. Master Blaster

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:01

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

chitoryu12 posted:

My girlfriend (17, F) has really bad hygiene, but it isn't really her fault because she is so poor, what can I do?

I don't get how being poor only lets you brush your teeth twice a week, unless you're renting the toothbrush.

Yeah, the girl is just gross because she wants to be gross. It has nothing to do with money. I like how her family has to make the tough choice between being clean or eating.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:02

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

chitoryu12 posted:

My girlfriend (17, F) has really bad hygiene, but it isn't really her fault because she is so poor, what can I do?

I don't get how being poor only lets you brush your teeth twice a week, unless you're renting the toothbrush.

Maybe they're in Yorkshire

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:02

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:03

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

chitoryu12 posted:

My girlfriend (17, F) has really bad hygiene, but it isn't really her fault because she is so poor, what can I do?

I don't get how being poor only lets you brush your teeth twice a week, unless you're renting the toothbrush.

A dirty house can really kill any motivation to keep yourself clean. It can kill motivation to do anything at all and is a huge source of stress and depression.

I grew up in a hoarder house and had terrible hygiene. When everything around you is dirty and smelly, you don't see much point in getting clean. Most of the time, I had no idea how bad I smelled. I had to have it pointed out to me by the school councillor after numerous complaints about me by both students and teachers. It was one of the most embarrassing days of my life!

I was asked if there were any troubles at home and didn't speak up about the hoarding situation when I should have because I didn't want my mom to get in trouble.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:09

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

He should just go by Dr. Hedghe, OG. Especially if he's been in the Dept for a while

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:11

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I [22f] think that my housemate [20] is faking seizures. It is emotionally draining and don�t know how to help her.

quote:

My housemate started to have what she calls panic attacks around a year ago. It has only happened when we are drunk and when she has been feeling stressed or has been turned down by a guy when we go clubbing. She starts fitting and scraping her arms and legs across the pavement and screaming and crying. She is unresponsive..This lasts around 5 hours usually although it has started to get progressively worst.

The first time it happened I spent the night in hospital with her. They did blood tests and brain scans on her but it came back that nothing was wrong. This has happened around 15 times now and the doctors and nurses have started to get annoyed with her. They even know her by name now as there was a week where it happened three times and even though we told her not to go out and get drunk she still did.

I started getting suspicious after around the 4th time when she still got drunk and didn�t go to the doctors to look into it. Plus she would sent pictures of herself in hospital on the group chat. Later on I was told by paramedics and nurses that they don�t believe them to be real as she doesn�t show the symptoms of seizures. They even look annoyed when she comes in now, I know they can�t do anything to help but usually this happens in public and she gets so aggressive that we can�t physically get her back to the house.

It happened last night again after she got turned down by a guy who has a girlfriend. She had been sitting on his lap all night and trying to kiss him, when he turned her down she screamed that he kissed her and ran away and had another panic attack. No one went to the hospital with her this time and they discharged her about 2 hours later. Usually these go on for much longer when we are with her, the fact that it stopped once she realised we weren�t there makes me feel like this is for attention.

I�m just at a loss right now, I have spent nights with her in the hospital which have been emotionally and physically draining and am constantly on edge about this happening. I value her friendship but now I feel uncomfortable being around her. I don�t know how to make this stop and I guess I�m worried about telling her that I think this is put on, just in case it isn�t and I don�t want to hurt her feelings.

TL;DR I think that my housemate is fainting seizers due to what doctors and nurses who have treated her have told me. I don�t know how to stop this, it is taking an emotional toll on me and have no idea how to approach this to her.

Trust me, the ER looooovves seeing her every week.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:18

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My (32m) clingy overly-attached ex girlfriend (26f) won't give up despite the fact I'm married. Found out she's made fake Instagram accounts just to follow me.Non-Romantic
(self.relationships)

quote:

I dated Kay for 2 years and I ended the relationship because she was too clingy and dependant on me. I loved her and planned on marrying her one day, but I couldn't live like we were living.

She was codependent, clingy, overly-attached, paranoid etc. We talked about it multiple times with her swearing she'd change, and then never changing. One day it was just too much, and I had to end it.

It's been almost 4 and a half years ago that I ended it. Since then, I met an amazing woman and married her, we've got our life together started and she's pregnant.

Kay was constantly coming around in any kind of way she could. She showed up at my work a few times, begging me to take her back. She's called and left a million messages and texts, so I blocked her number. She got a new number. Did it all again. Blocked again.

I couldn't ever get through to her that we're done. It's over. Not happening ever again.

More recently, I discovered she's created multiple fake/catfish accounts just so she could follow me and see what I'm doing. I'm private on Instagram so she went all out just to be accepted.

She's impersonated my friends. One day I asked my buddy why he made a new Instagram.. He was confused and asked what I meant. Showed him and he said it wasn't him. Now this has happened multiple times so I've become careful of who I accept.

The first time she did this, she saw my life now and that I'm married and have a child on the way, and she immediately DMed me from one of her legit new accounts, and said I was causing her to be suicidal and she couldn't believe I'd betray her and marry someone else.

That's when I first found out she was making accounts just to follow me.

I don't know what to do. It probably goes without saying, but she's got mental problems most likely from her past abusive relationship. But she's not moving on and it concerns me.

I don't want to go to the police because I feel horrible and she's not necessarily done anything God awful, it's just annoying at this point.

Just need some reddit friends to help me out here.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:22

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I assume this is in UK or Canada or something cause otherwise how does she afford multiple fake ER visits

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:23

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

chitoryu12 posted:

My girlfriend (17, F) has really bad hygiene, but it isn't really her fault because she is so poor, what can I do?

I don't get how being poor only lets you brush your teeth twice a week, unless you're renting the toothbrush.

Do basic hygiene items cost forty quid stones over there on knifecrime island or something?

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:26

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Nessa posted:

A dirty house can really kill any motivation to keep yourself clean. It can kill motivation to do anything at all and is a huge source of stress and depression.

I grew up in a hoarder house and had terrible hygiene. When everything around you is dirty and smelly, you don't see much point in getting clean. Most of the time, I had no idea how bad I smelled. I had to have it pointed out to me by the school councillor after numerous complaints about me by both students and teachers. It was one of the most embarrassing days of my life!

I was asked if there were any troubles at home and didn't speak up about the hoarding situation when I should have because I didn't want my mom to get in trouble.

She's pretty clearly aware of how she smells because she even apologizes to him for not brushing her teeth. She knows she needs to clean herself up, she just isn't.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:32

fibblins: Dec 21, 2007; party swan

depression is a hell of a drug

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:35

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

chitoryu12 posted:

She's pretty clearly aware of how she smells because she even apologizes to him for not brushing her teeth. She knows she needs to clean herself up, she just isn't.

Caregiver burnout and depression are a real thing and often manifest like this. This also shows up in adolescents with a history of sexual abuse.

By the time you're at the "literally have my boyfriend hose me down and not in the fun way" point in your life you should probably be in therapy and possibly medicated.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:37

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Maybe she's a crust punk.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:38

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Willpower is a finite resource and she's clearly burning it on things other than hygeine.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:39

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [22f] think that my housemate [20] is faking seizures. It is emotionally draining and don�t know how to help her.

Pee on her next time and see how unresponsive she really is :smugdon:

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:43

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Willpower is a finite resource and she's clearly burning it on things other than hygeine.

The fact that gross people like this can get partners must drive incels nuts.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:43

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Clark Nova posted:

Do basic hygiene items cost forty quid stones over there on knifecrime island or something?

no it's just that the North is a shithole

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:44

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Caganer posted:

My (32m) clingy overly-attached ex girlfriend (26f) won't give up despite the fact I'm married. Found out she's made fake Instagram accounts just to follow me.Non-Romantic
(self.relationships)

Lol this guy is dumb. No no she hasn�t done anything horrible at all...yet.

My friend can I introduce you to this thing called a restraining order?

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:45

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

MarcusSA posted:

Lol this guy is dumb. No no she hasn�t done anything horrible at all...yet.

My friend can I introduce you to this thing called a restraining order?

# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:47

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [22f] think that my housemate [20] is faking seizures. It is emotionally draining and don�t know how to help her.

Trust me, the ER looooovves seeing her every week.

Hahaha, five hours of faking a seizure? Holy loving lol, that�s impressive dedication to making your seizure look super fake. If you seized for five hours you�d be super dead.

It�s pretty impressive how far people will go with fake seizures. My old ambulance service gave some lady with brain cancer who was seizing a shitload of narcs (10mg Versed and 100mcg fentanyl, IIRC?) and she still kept seizing. Except it turns out she was faking the brain cancer. And the seizures. That�s a LOT of drugs to tank and still have a fake involuntary dance party.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:07

Darkrenown: Jul 18, 2012; please give me anything to talk about besides the fact that democrats are allowing millions of americans to be evicted from their homes

Hellblazer187 posted:

OK, fine, lift until you're 125, then wrestle.

Wrestling isn't a thing in UK schools, actually school sports barely exist. You might be able to wrestle in University in the same way there's probably a karate or kickboxing class, but no one outside the class is going to care if you do.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:10

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Nessa posted:

A dirty house can really kill any motivation to keep yourself clean. It can kill motivation to do anything at all and is a huge source of stress and depression.

I grew up in a hoarder house and had terrible hygiene. When everything around you is dirty and smelly, you don't see much point in getting clean. Most of the time, I had no idea how bad I smelled. I had to have it pointed out to me by the school councillor after numerous complaints about me by both students and teachers. It was one of the most embarrassing days of my life!

I was asked if there were any troubles at home and didn't speak up about the hoarding situation when I should have because I didn't want my mom to get in trouble.

Just huff some axe body spray, that poo poo will make any rotten cooter smell like rotten cooter and axe body spray.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:12

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Recently invited a girl over and it went terrible, please help

quote:

So i had a girl coming over one evening from my university class, we knew eachother a bit already since we used to hang out and I felt pretty into her and she liked me to, i guess otherwise she wouldnt have Come over.

So i spent The Day really making my apartment clean as possible because i read somewhere that girls usually like when you have it clean. Then when she texted me that she would be coming soon, i immediatelly got so nervous and my heart just pounded like it was trying to crush my ribcage, i got dry mouth and had to drink water, felt like I was beginning to sweat.

Then she came and I felt a bit more at ease but still very nervous, i hugged her and didnt know what to do next so i put on some Coffee for us, she sat down at The table and we talked. But i just felt so boring when i talked to her, like I couldnt say anything interesting or funny AT all, i was desperatly trying to find good things to talk about but we just ended up talking about school stuff and she looked mildly bored i guess.

Ive read that you should touch girls a lot too but i had no idea how to do that in some natural way, i just saw her with a body and mass and 3 dimensional and felt so intimidated and had no clue on how to escalate anything.

So after around an hour she said she had to go, i guess because she was bored, afterwards i just felt so sad, I know i can have a fun personality but all I did was being super nervous, having sweaty palms and talking about things that would probably bore anyone because my mind just went blank and I didnt know what to say.

I feel like a complete outsider in society, everyone else of my friends just go out and meet girls they barely know and somehow have sex with them, ive never understood how they get to that point, are they never nervous or is something wrong with me?

Im also still a virgin and feel really ashamed of it since its not really my own choice, its just that whenever theres a girl i like or something i just get extremely anxious and can barely function as a normal human being.

Im 23 atm and starting to feel really scared that i Will probably be living my life alone since im getting to an age where girls expect you to know what to do and be experienced with relationships and sex and IF you're not then they wont waste any time on you.

r/relationship: I just saw her with a body and mass and 3 dimensional

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:22

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Leon Einstein posted:

Maybe she's a crust punk.

Crust punks might actually be the worst people.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:25

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Caganer posted:

I don't do it often, but if I'm making a reasonable request like "This is broken. Send me a nonbroken thing. I'm happy to send the broken one back if you send a shipping label." and I get a bunch of run around, I'll just dispute with the CC rather than deal with a bunch of time on the phone or days of email back and forth.

Dude, you're my hero. I ordered some laptops a few years ago with a very extensive warranty (as long as it breaks during normal use, it doesn't matter if I drop it or whatever, I get refunded). Well, now both are broken from normal use. Asurion, the largest warranty people in the US, refuse to even respond to my numerous requests.

I'm 99% sure now I can just call my cc company, explain this, and get that charged back.

Thanks!

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:36

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [19/F] want to go to Pride this year, but I'm worried about seeing my friend [20/F] there

quote:

I grew up in a small rural town (~300 people) and moved to a large city about a year ago. I'm bisexual and have never been to Pride, as there were no resources for that sort of thing anywhere nearby while I was growing up, but there's a big event coming up this month and I kind of want to go.

Enter the problem! When I was probably about twelve or thirteen, a family of extremely conservative evangelical Christians moved next door. I'm talking nine or ten kids, girls couldn't wear pants, everyone was homeschooled, etc. I was raised in an extremely liberal agnostic family, but I ended up making friends with the eldest girl in the family, Libby. Libby and I are from extremely different backgrounds and honestly have always disagreed on pretty much everything, but we have a lot of the same interests and were pretty close as kids.

Libby's family left our town for the city a few years ago, and I got back in touch with her after I moved as well. It's become only too clear that she and I have vastly different views, and though we've both managed to stay off the topic of our political and religious beliefs, I'm worried about Pride. Libby has posted all over social media about how much she hates "the gays", and how she and her family are considering going to stand against them in the face of God (blah blah blah). While I really do want to go, I'm scared that I might run into Libby and her family, exposing me openly to her family as "one of them" and ruining the friendship that we have.

Libby and I have both acknowledged that we have vastly different world views, and we left it at that - it's easier to be friends when our differences aren't staring us in the face. I'm sure that my general openmindedness is as obvious to her as her extreme devotion to her religion is to me, but we both spend a lot of the time ignoring the things about each other that we don't agree with in favor of being friends. No, I don't want to give up on this relationship - that's why I'm asking for advice. I know that most of you probably think I'm crazy, and hell, I probably am, but the friendship we do have (even as based on insanity as it clearly is) matters to me.

tl;dr: I want to go to Pride this year, but I'm scared that I'll run into an extremely conservative friend who has decided to protest, exposing me as "one of them" and ruining our relationship.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:36

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

i think that being friends with people who have way WAY different personal beliefs than you might be a white people thing

as a black person i can't be friends with trump supporters or blue lives matter people or anything like that

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:41

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

As an LGBT person you learn quick that you can't be friends with people who want you to die(or be tortured until you pretend you're not queer) either. OP's just finding out why for the first time.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:46

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

YeahTubaMike posted:

i think that being friends with people who have way WAY different personal beliefs than you might be a white people thing

as a black person i can't be friends with trump supporters or blue lives matter people or anything like that

wow, how intolerant. you want to not get shot, they want you to get shot, it's just political differences

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

YeahTubaMike posted:

i think that being friends with people who have way WAY different personal beliefs than you might be a white people thing

as a black person i can't be friends with trump supporters or blue lives matter people or anything like that

Its the insulating property of privilege which in America basically means white people.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

YeahTubaMike posted:

i think that being friends with people who have way WAY different personal beliefs than you might be a white people thing

as a black person i can't be friends with trump supporters or blue lives matter people or anything like that

I think it really depends on what the things are. Like, I can be friends with someone who thinks the Free Market is the most optimal solution for correcting inequality despite that being a stupid position for idiots, especially if in the broad sense we agree that it�s a problem when people aren�t able to afford healthcare through no fault of their own, etc.

But yeah, if we disagree on something like �are blacks and gays fundamentally deserving of human rights� then we�re not gonna be able to get past that.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:55

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Haifisch posted:

I [19/F] want to go to Pride this year, but I'm worried about seeing my friend [20/F] there

if I was her I'd go, and if she saw me I'd say something like "I'm here to show my support, since I knew people were going to come to protest"

which is all of true, not outing you, and also really loving passive aggressively directly targeted at the shitbag friend that she seems hellbent on keeping for some stupid reason

# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:00

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# ? May 29, 2024 11:19

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Or just paint your face pink and dress as crazy as you want, it's not like you'll stick out at a pride parade.

# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:01

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