/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Nightgull: Jan 22, 2018; TOTALLY NOT A CONSERVATIVE
or a fucking nazi

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Can I just ask that if you're posting a giant rear end wall of text and its some wretched story with no advice to give where a family takes turn suiciding over pokemon or w/eva , that maybe as a courtesy toss some kind of heads up somewhere for those who find those stories dull, namaste

Might I suggest an alternative:

VanSandman posted:

Downers like that should get a fuckin’ week probe.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 01:59

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:42

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

La Brea Carpet posted:

My parents[58f, 59m] are giving me[25f] an ultimatum concerning my fiancee's[23f] leg hair.

:shhh: It's not about the leg hair

I love it when the trash takes itself out.

This is assume OP grows a spine and lets them do that instead of attempting to 'keep the peace' and worrying what people will think when her shithead parents don't show on July 4th.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:02

Flutieflakes017: Feb 16, 2012; only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain

Oh my god.

It took 8 months but I read the whole thread. It was not healthy, all I can think about is severing, asking for an open relationship, and sometimes when I wake up I involuntarily whisper "berth el pup." There were some terrible derails in there, guys. You know who you are.

I guess I will have to go back to like, reading books and poo poo.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:25

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

[

Flutieflakes017 posted:

Oh my god.

It took 8 months but I read the whole thread. It was not healthy, all I can think about is severing, asking for an open relationship, and sometimes when I wake up I involuntarily whisper "berth el pup." There were some terrible derails in there, guys. You know who you are.

I guess I will have to go back to like, reading books and poo poo.

Sorry, now that you�ve completed your studies you must begin collecting tales for the threadkeeper.

Caganer posted:

I�m (23 M) starting to feel put off by my girlfriends (23 F) sexual desires (self.relationship_advice)

Not being aggressive is a form of aggression

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:28

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My[30M] fianc�e's[30F] wanderlust is driving us apart

quote:

Hello, I am using a throwaway, thanks for reading this. I need some advice.

Laura and I have been dating for almost 8 years. Laura has always been a huge fan of new cultures and countries. In summer she used to work as an au-pair in different countries: France, UK, The Netherlands, Spain, Portugal... You name it. In her last year of her studies, she even went on an exchange abroad to Canada (we live in Europe) for 6 months.

I always supported her. Laura loves travelling, I knew that when we started dating. Even the exchange to Canada did not create problems in our relationship.

When we had reachd the 1 year mark of dating and were both more or less in our last year of University, we talked about the future. Laura absolutely wanted to travel before working, having kids, marriage etc.

We decided that if we graduated at 23-24 yrs old. There would be one year dedicated to travel, although I preferred to have a job immediately.

We said that around 27 we would get married and 29-30 would be ideal to have kids. We have revised this timeline a lot afterwards, and she has always agreed.

When she graduated she went for a trip around Asia for 4 months. She begged me to come with, and I went with her for the first month. After the 4 months she returned, stayed in our country for 2 months before she decided she wanted to go back and live 6 months in China.

So she lived in China, she worked as an au-pair, as a volunteer for an exchange program. Fine, but then the year was over and I thought she would come back to look for a job. When she came back she was devestated and begged me to go and live with her in a diffrent country, she wanted to go live in Spain. I looked for a job in Madrid and found one, and we left for Madrid.

She looked for a job in her field, which was not that easy, and in the end started complaining that she missed travellin etc. A year after our move to Madrid she went to Russia for 5 weeks, then decided she wanted to stay there. My father had become ill and I told her I would prefer to return to my home country, which is closer to Spain.

After her adventure in Russia, she went back home with me. We rented a nice house but after 6 months she was tired of it again and now she lives in South Africa as an au-pair again.

We are still together, she always says that it is 'temporary' and we should travel while we are young and free. The thing is she is unable to 'travel', she cannot go somewhere for 2 weeks, she always has to go for at least 4 months to 'get to know the country'.

Every 4 months she returns to our country for a few weeks, she decides to look for a job but as you can imagine, HR-managers wonder why she has not really worked in her field for such a long time and why she always changes countries. She used to say 'employers see it as a benefit' when you travel a lot, and I'm sure that they do, but when you have spend basically your whole adult live travelling and working jobs that are not in your field...

She never gets why I don't want to come with her, especially when my dad was ill, it's like she did not grasp the situation. She told me I should live 'free' and that she could see I wanted to travel too, which is correct. I love travelling, but I don't feel to need to give up my life and live there. My dad has passed away in the meanwhile and I have been here for my mother and brother who are deeply affected. She does not get that.

Basically, our whole timeline is gone. She told me she will stop travelling at 30, but yesterday she showed me a hotel in Japan that is looking for people that speak our language, and how she wants to move. I don't, I have a job, a live.

Reddit, what should I do?

Tl;dr: GF has wanderlust and seems to forget about us, how do I deal with it ?

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:34

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

Dump her rear end. She's probably cheating on you anyways and/or using you for free room and board between her trips.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:39

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

CheesyDog posted:

My GF wanted to have sex with a stranger for money. I wanted to have a threesome. Which is worse?

u/BritOnTheEdge

Your girlfriend is already having sex with strangers for money.

Caganer posted:

I’m (23 M) starting to feel put off by my girlfriends (23 F) sexual desires (self.relationship_advice)

My father committed suicide, so please, if you decide that killing yourself is truly the only option, try to do it somewhere public as a form of protest.

Alternatively:

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:40

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Suicide story is bullshit. A real Irishman would have just slowly killed himself with whiskey or decided to live because his hobby was drinking.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:44

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Flutieflakes017 posted:

Oh my god.

It took 8 months but I read the whole thread. It was not healthy, all I can think about is severing, asking for an open relationship, and sometimes when I wake up I involuntarily whisper "berth el pup." There were some terrible derails in there, guys. You know who you are.

I guess I will have to go back to like, reading books and poo poo.

One of us! One of us!

You from Buffalo by any chance, given the username?

# ? Jun 14, 2018 02:55

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Caganer posted:

I�m (23 M) starting to feel put off by my girlfriends (23 F) sexual desires (self.relationship_advice)

Perform the ultimate domination by telling her she's total loving trash and you're dumping her, then :sever:

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:00

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

My [23F] son [4 months] has a Empoleon pokemon plush he sleeps with that my friend [22M] bought him. My brother [16M] almost threw it out because he hates pokemon

quote:

I'm staying with my mother after a nasty break up with my boyfriend. I have a good job so I don't really need a partner financially once I'm ready to go back to work. I'm staying here for another month and then I'm moving out in the new year.

My son Josh has this Pokemon toy my best friend bought him. It's name is Empoleon and it's his favorite toy by far. He cuddles with it before he goes to sleep and is the easiest way to get him to stop crying. My brother almost threw it out last night because he hates pokemon and won't have it in his house. We got into a big argument.

My question is do I rat him out to mom? I know no one likes running to mom everytime theres a problem, but I don't know how else to deal with him.

TL;DR: Brother almost threw my sons favourite toy out.

You're 23. He's 16. Give him a wedgie or something.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:09

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

chitoryu12 posted:

My [23F] son [4 months] has a Empoleon pokemon plush he sleeps with that my friend [22M] bought him. My brother [16M] almost threw it out because he hates pokemon

You're 23. He's 16. Give him a wedgie or something.

lmao won't have it in his house? gently caress off dweeb

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:11

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

chitoryu12 posted:

won't have it in his house

at a 16 year old making demands about what won't fly in 'his' house.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:12

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

This is a Digimon household. Digimon are champions.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:12

Flutieflakes017: Feb 16, 2012; only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain

LadyPictureShow posted:

One of us! One of us!

You from Buffalo by any chance, given the username?

Austin, Tx! Just a big Doug Flutie fan. Kids in middle school in the late 90s used to mockingly chant "flutie flutie flutie" at me, no idea why that was an insult but it turned me into a fan. A couple years ago I started wearing a Flutie jersey when I ski over my jacket and I discovered alot of people really, really, like "Doug." They all refer to him on a first name basis too.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:13

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

chitoryu12 posted:

My [23F] son [4 months] has a Empoleon pokemon plush he sleeps with that my friend [22M] bought him. My brother [16M] almost threw it out because he hates pokemon

You're 23. He's 16. Give him a wedgie or something.

Ah, your brother was reacting to the aggressive nature of the gift and was focusing on its Pokemon nature because he's a whiny dipshit. You cannot allow him to be aggressive towards you or your son in this way. A simple tit-for-tat solution is to throw his phone in a garbage disposal or post his embarrassing secrets to social media.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:18

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Empoleon is a fat and powerful penguin and thus optimal shape for baby-hugging.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:20

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

it came from /r/AmItheAsshole

AITA for going off on my wife for calling as opposed to texting me at work.

quote:

I'm at work. I can get away with using my phone on the production floor but as far as answering my phone goes, it can be a bit of a problem and I have to stop what I'm doing and sneak off to the bathroom. I've told my wife that if it's not an emergency to text me instead of calling because I can respond easier. But still, she will ring my phone and it will not be what I consider an emergency but instead it will simply be something that she doesn't want to wait for an answer for.

So today she rings my phone three times in a row. It's a really inopportune time for me to have to stop what I'm doing because the plant manager is right in the area. Either way because of the possibility of something really being wrong, I stop my machine and head to the bathroom to call her back. By the time I get to the bathroom and go to call her she had sent me a text message. I had given her twenty dollars this morning to put gas in the car and she wanted to know if she could use five of it to get something to eat.

So when I see what she rang my phone for I got pissed off and responded with a rude text message back asking her if this was seriously what she was blowing up my phone and told her that she knows how much gas she has and to figure it out. This pissed her off and she basically told me that I'm an rear end in a top hat and that she wanted to make sure it was okay with me before just doing it. My response was that I'm not okay with her blowing up my phone and making me think something is really wrong when it's not but she still does that.

The situation escalated from there but I just don't know if I was the rear end in a top hat in the way this conflict started. I'm not necessarily concerned that I would get in trouble but I still consider doing certain things at work to be a bad look. I was definitely rude in my messages but it seemed necessary to get my point across that this was not something that constituted an emergency to blow up my phone. Either way, I don't know and that's why I'm here. Am I the rear end in a top hat in this situation?

OP isn't getting the validation he expected from reddit

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

really? because I'd have told her to stop loving calling me at work for stupid bullshit

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:29

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

La Brea Carpet posted:

Some highlights include: giving one of the managers oral sex in the parking lot, getting black-out drunk in front of the director at a happy hour, attending my boss’s family functions, having a tumultuous and abusive five-month relationship with a different manager, making out with one of the facilities guys in a conference room at work, doing shots with my boss’s husband, sleeping with a supervisor that my best friend at work also slept with and ruining that friendship forever, getting hammered on lunch with a supervisor and returning to work drunk, heavy petting with a senior manager at a work function in front of multiple coworkers, smoking weed with coworkers and giving oral sex to another manager, who is now my current boyfriend, in my office. I became known amongst the management team as the happy hour go-to and a partier and people were constantly asking me to go out drinking with them.

I bet she never had to buy a drink lmao goddamn girl

Nessa posted:

I took my husband's last name because I like it better. It's shorter and easier to spell. I also get a lot of comments from people asking if it's my real name because it's also the name of a video game character, so at least it's memorable!

Mrs. Bastard took mine which is interesting and ethnic and left behind her boring rear end white bread name. Either that or I successfully oppressed her, it's hard to tell.

quote:

But still, she will ring my phone and it will not be what I consider an emergency but instead it will simply be something that she doesn't want to wait for an answer for.

I think that poo poo would fly about twice before I stopped taking her calls, fo sho. I work with a bunch of people with SOs that apparently lie around the house all day bored, needing constantly talked to and that drives me nuts.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:32

02-6611-0142-1: Sep 30, 2004

fruit on the bottom posted:

I call bullshit on Dad�s note. No one goes from �perfectly content� to �immediate suicide� over the course of one conversation.

guess you�ve never had a conversation with me, b i t c h

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:38

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

I (16F) want to disobey parents (48M/F) for the first time.

quote:

Ok long story short. My parents are the very overprotective "tiger" type parents. They 100% forbid me playing video games, and I've complied with them since I was 12. I really want to get the new 3DS with Pokemon. I talked to them recently about it and they still 100% forbid me playing games.

I am an overachiever, I maintain a 95% average and will be entering university next year. I work very hard, and I have saved up $10.4k from summer jobs ($4.3k this year) and I really want to treat myself to something I have wanted for a long time.

My parents both work all day, so i would be able to conceal the 3DS from them, and they would never know I got it. This would be the first time in my life that I ever "rebelled" against my parents. Should I? I can go and purchase it tomorrow if I want to. But the question is... SHOULD I? I feel like I would be betraying my parents' trust, but I have been under their control for my whole life and I've had enough. But if I get it, and make sure they don't know about it, it won't hurt, will it? Please help, have any of you been in this sort of situation?

Edit: I also have a game that I play on my laptop that my parents don't know about. I will be bringing in $250 from that this month so I will be using my game money that I made to purchase the 3DS.

UPDATE: I just bought it! I have 2 spares, so I just went out and bought them! I'm feel very mixed feelings right now. Happiness, sadness, unsureness and rebellish! I feel like I'm on top of the world, but I understand I need to be very cautious of what I do now! My update post!

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1p1zqk/update_i_16_f_want_to_disobey_my_parents_48_mf/

tl;dr: 16 year old girl has very controlling overprotective parents who forbids video games, but wants to disobey them and purchase a 3DS.

I'm sorry you saved how much at 16

quote:

Link to my first post: http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1p07q4/i_16f_want_to_disobey_parents_48mf_for_the_first/

Okay, first, I want to thank you all for your support and wonderful advice. I've went ahead and bought it. I literally just bought it 10 minutes ago. I haven't touched it yet, and won't until maybe even a few days from now when I am 100% sure I will not be caught or seen doing it. I paid $270 cash, for the 3DS XL and a Pokemon X game, and I feel on top of the world. My parents 100% forbid video games in my house, but I have been wanting one forever and this is the first time I have defied them in my life.

I am feeling a mixture between happiness for doing something I've wanted for quite a long time, sadness for betraying my parents (which I never do) and a feeling I've never felt before... "rebellish". I fully understand the consequences of my situation with my parents, so I will be taking all precautions.. and extra to hide my little secret. I have a PERFECT hiding spot for it, and I have decided I will study even more than I usually do and help lots extra with chores to make up for betraying my parents. I will resist the temptation to play it whenever I want, and will only play it for 30 minutes to 1 hour before I sleep. (when they think I'm already sleeping)

I would like to say.. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for your support! This is an awesome community. PLEASE comment and let me know what you think. I also would love more advice as to how I should proceed with my situation. Thank you all so much.

tl;dr: I bought the 3DS and game I've wanted!

Get her an account.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:50

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

quote:

[�]Midnight443 [S] 59 points 4 years ago

Great idea, I wish it would work though. My parents don't let me hang out with my friends very often, only once a month maximum for a little "fun".

[�]HowAboutNitricOxide 103 points 4 years ago

Holy poo poo I'm sorry.

[�]Midnight443 [S] 70 points 4 years ago

Yep. I'm sorry for myself too, so I think I will just go treat myself to the 3DS. An example of things they don't let me do:

Tomorrow, since I am student council at my school, I'll be setting up the gym for the dance, and have free admission to it, but my parents absolutely will not let me take part in the actual dance part. So I will be helping set up, going home and leaving my friends who will be having fun without me, coming back when the dance is done, and cleaning up. :'(

The parents are lucky this girl's first act of rebellion is buying video games and not sneaking out to do every drug on the planet while lighting half the town on fire.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:04

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

If you look at her profile, virtually every single post she's made on Reddit since getting the game has been putting up hundreds of Pokemon to trade.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:19

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

really? because I'd have told her to stop loving calling me at work for stupid bullshit

reading more into the comments he controls like literally all the finances, she doesn't have a debit/credit card and feels so uncomfortable handling their money that she wasn't willing to spend 5 without asking permission.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:26

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Ooooohhhh

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:30

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

Ooooohhhh

yeah op is trying to play it off like "of course she didn't need to ask me to buy her lunch" but like I really can not fathom a relationship with that dynamic where he wasn't abusive and controlling.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:33

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

ArbitraryC posted:

reading more into the comments he controls like literally all the finances, she doesn't have a debit/credit card and feels so uncomfortable handling their money that she wasn't willing to spend 5 without asking permission.

Yeah, I went to see how stupid Reddit was being and pretty much every comment is along the lines of "I was gonna she's rear end in a top hat, but then you kept talking..."

And hell, same.

02-6611-0142-1 posted:

guess you�ve never had a conversation with me, b i t c h

Yeah yeah, you talk big. But if you can't deliver I'm taking you to court for false advertising.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:39

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

chitoryu12 posted:

If you look at her profile, virtually every single post she's made on Reddit since getting the game has been putting up hundreds of Pokemon to trade.

Each Pokemon is a tiny rebellion against her lovely parents

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:41

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Is she selling the pokemon? She says she's taking $250 out of some game to pay for the 3DS. It sounds like she's grinding loot or gold for cash in some game because her parents never let her go anywhere.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:44

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

cumshitter posted:

Is she selling the pokemon? She says she's taking $250 out of some game to pay for the 3DS. It sounds like she's grinding loot or gold for cash in some game because her parents never let her go anywhere.

I don�t have her profile up but a lot were just trade for items and she had poo poo like 6 Dittos simultaneously. It seems like she does practically nothing in her free time now except play Pok�mon.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:50

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

chitoryu12 posted:

I don�t have her profile up but a lot were just trade for items and she had poo poo like 6 Dittos simultaneously. It seems like she does practically nothing in her free time now except play Pok�mon.

If your parents don�t even allow you to attend a school dance, what else are you gonna do when all you have is Pok�mon X?

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:54

COMRADES: Apr 3, 2017; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Everyone involved is lucky that such helicopter parenting *cough abuse cough* has manifested itself in a Pokemon obsession and not murder-suicide.

Also that person is hosed if/when they move away for college.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:55

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

She's probably just working as 1000% at it as she does at everything else

# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:56

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

she should hide that money pronto

# ? Jun 14, 2018 05:02

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

COMRADES posted:

Everyone involved is lucky that such helicopter parenting *cough abuse cough* has manifested itself in a Pokemon obsession and not murder-suicide.

Also that person is hosed if/when they move away for college.

I mean she's showing some signs of independence in a more-or-less sensible manner at 16 so she might be ok

or very much not

# ? Jun 14, 2018 05:03

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Her last post was 5 months ago and was one of dozens of Ditto trades.

The posts about buying the 3DS were from 4 years ago.

I'll leave it to you to decide whether or not that means she turned out ok.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 05:58

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Were they 6iv dittos?

# ? Jun 14, 2018 06:28

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Haifisch posted:

Her last post was 5 months ago and was one of dozens of Ditto trades.

The posts about buying the 3DS were from 4 years ago.

I'll leave it to you to decide whether or not that means she turned out ok.

# ? Jun 14, 2018 06:51

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:42

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Dittos sound rare and hard to copy are they better than bitcoins and if so should I throw my life savings at them?

# ? Jun 14, 2018 06:54

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