/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Caganer posted:

correct me if i'm wrong, but if you can't remember sex, you were blacked out correct? and if you were blacked out, there's no informed consent? and if you don't give informed consent... it's sexual assault?

The thought process for me, and I'm assuming him, is that she wasn't actually blacked out, she was cognizant when this occurred and is now lying

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:45

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# ? May 15, 2024 16:03

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Caganer posted:

correct me if i'm wrong, but if you can't remember sex, you were blacked out correct? and if you were blacked out, there's no informed consent? and if you don't give informed consent... it's sexual assault?

She says she was blacked out, but the rest of her behavior is the most suspicious thing in the world:

* Texting the two guys and locking her phone with a password as soon as he starts getting suspicious.

* Meeting the two guys, hugging them, and immediately forgiving them.

* Saying that her rapists were nicer than her husband.

* The guys insisting that it was all her idea.

The only logical explanation is that it was completely intentional sex that she wants to keep having and she invented a story about rape to try and provide a cover, only for it to fall apart almost immediately.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:46

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Can someone repost the "I am convinced my coworker's boyfriend is abusive and this has nothing to do with my desire to bang her, how do I break them up" story tia

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:47

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

chitoryu12 posted:

She says she was blacked out, but the rest of her behavior is the most suspicious thing in the world:

* Texting the two guys and locking her phone with a password as soon as he starts getting suspicious.

* Meeting the two guys, hugging them, and immediately forgiving them.

* Saying that her rapists were nicer than her husband.

* The guys insisting that it was all her idea.

The only logical explanation is that it was completely intentional sex that she wants to keep having and she invented a story about rape to try and provide a cover, only for it to fall apart almost immediately.

yeah this is why i thought it might be a fakepost because it ticks the "bitches lie about being raped" box that reddit loves. but on the other hand the husband makes himself out to be kind of a victim-blaming douche so i don't know

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:48

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

goethe.cx posted:

uh what

i realize a lot of men don't take rejection well and that's why women aren't always upfront that they're not interested, but continuing to message and talk with a guy while always finding a reason not to meet up is really irritating and immature imo

I never said it wasn't, just that it sounded to me like she was doing that. Sucks when people genuinely are having a lot of stuff come up last minute.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:53

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

PetraCore posted:

I never said it wasn't, just that it sounded to me like she was doing that. Sucks when people genuinely are having a lot of stuff come up last minute.

oh yeah that wasn't directed at you, i was responding to the guy who thought "hard-ghosting" creates serial killers

# ? Jun 16, 2018 01:58

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

chitoryu12 posted:

She says she was blacked out, but the rest of her behavior is the most suspicious thing in the world:

* Texting the two guys and locking her phone with a password as soon as he starts getting suspicious.

* Meeting the two guys, hugging them, and immediately forgiving them.

* Saying that her rapists were nicer than her husband.

* The guys insisting that it was all her idea.

The only logical explanation is that it was completely intentional sex that she wants to keep having and she invented a story about rape to try and provide a cover, only for it to fall apart almost immediately.

personally i'm inclined to believe the victim. nothing in the story excludes assault. it's totally possible that she flirted with some guys that night. you can withdraw consent at any time. you can't give consent when blackout drunk. she may have basically been "date raped" - she was flirting and having a good time and these guys pumped her full of drinks and took advantage. that is not ok, and i find it weird that me, the alleged shitposter, is having to explain this

PetraCore posted:

I never said it wasn't, just that it sounded to me like she was doing that. Sucks when people genuinely are having a lot of stuff come up last minute.

yeah i mean, she may be backing him off?

it sounds to me like she explicitly tried to make time for him (i can see you for an hour) but instead of taking it as a happy and positive sign, he got mad it wasn't as much time as he wanted so he got angry. she might have not been backing him off before, but if he replied in a visibly angry way to her offer she is probably backing him off now.

that is ok if she wants to. you all should read "the gift of fear" - "discounting the no" is one of the most reliable "pre-incident indicators". it's perfectly valid for a woman to become uncomfortable with someone displaying a combination of entitlement to attention and anger when it is not granted in sufficient quanity

quote:

PINS (Pre-Incident Indicators)

Forced Teaming. This is when a person implies that they have something in common with their chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn't really true. Speaking in "we" terms is a mark of this, i.e. "We don't need to talk outside... Let's go in."

Charm and Niceness. This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust.
Too many details. If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.
Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: "Oh, I bet you're too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me." The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.

Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they'll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.

The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, "I promise I'll leave you alone after this," usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited "I promise I won't hurt you" usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.

Discounting the Word "No". Refusing to accept rejection.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:10

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Caganer posted:

personally i'm inclined to believe the victim. nothing in the story excludes assault. it's totally possible that she flirted with some guys that night. you can withdraw consent at any time. you can't give consent when blackout drunk. she may have basically been "date raped" - she was flirting and having a good time and these guys pumped her full of drinks and took advantage. that is not ok, and i find it weird that me, the alleged shitposter, is having to explain this

Why would someone who was tearfully claiming to be raped also start secretly communicating with the rapists (including taking extra security measures she didn't used to have to keep her husband from reading any of it), meet with them to immediately forgive them, and even compliment how much nicer the rapists are than her husband about the incident?

Either she's lying or she's a complete lunatic.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:19

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

chitoryu12 posted:

Either she's lying or she's a complete lunatic.

Yeah, obviously that drat female is lying so she can slut it up. Also she's probably crazy! :rolleyes:

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:26

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Caganer posted:

Yeah, obviously that drat female is lying so she can slut it up. Also she's probably crazy!

i feel like you're ignoring a lot of context here. what about her behavior makes sense?

e: vvvvv alright yeah i briefly wondered if that wasn't some kind of response to trauma. not something i've heard of before but if it's a known phenomenon then it makes more sense

goethe.cx fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Jun 16, 2018

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:26

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

goethe.cx posted:

i feel like you're ignoring a lot of context here. what about her behavior makes sense?

what Caganer hypothesized is probably about right, she got taken advantage of in a hosed up way and her reaction to it is strange but not indicative that she's lying

yeah her behavior doesn't make sense but the alternative doesn't really make sense, either

e: vvv oh apparently it actually *does* make sense, it's just counterintuitive to people who don't study sexual assault

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:31

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

chitoryu12 posted:

Why would someone who was tearfully claiming to be raped also start secretly communicating with the rapists (including taking extra security measures she didn't used to have to keep her husband from reading any of it), meet with them to immediately forgive them, and even compliment how much nicer the rapists are than her husband about the incident?

Either she's lying or she's a complete lunatic.

not saying anything about this case, but in general, it's actually not an unusual response to go back to it

quote:

Counterintuitive as it may seem, my impulse to initiate a second encounter with my attacker more than a year after the original incident makes sense to experts on sexual assault. �Attempting to master a situation in which you previously did not have control is one way a lot of assault victims respond,� says Jim Hopper, Ph.D., teaching associate in psychology at Harvard Medical School and a nationally recognized expert on sexual assault and trauma.

Looking back, I see the logic: Why wouldn�t I want to reclaim the narrative by rewriting my story with a different ending�one in which I reversed the dynamic with someone who�d previously robbed me of all power? �The motivation is usually trying to gain some sense of authority, either over a sex scenario or even how the perpetrator sees you�i.e. not as someone they can do whatever they want to,� explains Hopper. �It can also be a way to manage your perception of yourself, by painting a different picture of what happened. Because who wants to think of themselves as a rape victim?�

https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a15957811/cheated-with-my-rapist/

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:32

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Anne Whateley posted:

not saying anything about this case, but in general, it's actually not an unusual response to go back to it

https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a15957811/cheated-with-my-rapist/

thanks for the support Anne!

My girlfriend hangs out with a guy who obviously has a crush on her. How should I react?I Need Advice (self.dating)

quote:

Hello redditors! My girlfriend and I are both in graduate school, at universities two hours away from each other. We are in a new relationship - less than three months old - but are living together over the summer academic break so that we don't have to drive to see each other (I work online from home, so it was an easy transition for me). She has a very good male friend at her school who by her own admission has a crush on her, and they communicate through snapchat every day. I have watched her take selfies in the process of snapchatting with him, while we are cuddling and watching TV, but in the past I have said nothing.

My prior stance had been that if there was nothing to be jealous about, then I would not be jealous. She has assured me that he is not a threat, and there is no cause for me to be jealous. So, during the spring semester prior to my moving in, I was comfortable with her hanging out with him, alone, since I sincerely believed (and continue to believe) that he is not a threat. However, there have been events that I know other boyfriends would not be comfortable with, such as her drinking at his place and passing out on the couch, or another instance that comes to mind: she went swimming at his apartment with him and another male friend after we had an argument, without letting me know what she was doing and ignoring me for several hours (we have a custom of calling each other after school/work). I let both of these instances go without comment, since I truly do believe that he is not a threat.

More recently, however, he invited her to his place for a last get-together before he left for the summer break. Me living with her at that time, I asked her if this was something I was invited to, and she asked him only to discover that he didn't want me to come. Of her own volition, she decided not to go. I understand that he is now back in town, but she has not hung out with him since declining that invitation. She does continue to snapchat him every day, however. I truly do trust her and believe that he is not a threat, but I wonder, how should I react to this guy: who obviously has feelings for her, communicates with her every day, and tries to hang out with her alone while specifically declining the opportunity to meet me? Every one of my female friends has met my girlfriend, and I have been completely transparent to her in that none of them is a threat to her, and should she feel that they are, she gets complete oversight. I don't mind her hanging out with the guy (at least in a group setting) if he's not a threat to me - she is a very attractive woman after all; any number of guys will want to be with her - but I sense some disrespect to me coming from his side. I appreciate any input!

Edit for additional info: without trying to sound pretentious, I am a lot more attractive than this guy... which is part of why I don't feel threatened by him. This is relevant info, or I wouldn't include it.

so basically, he

let her sleep on his couch because she had a bit too much to drink
let her come over and hang out at his pool with a mutual friend after she had a fight with her bf
declined to invite a "not pretentious" guy who seems to have a lot of issues with him to his going away party

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:34

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My (M/23) girlfriend (F/24) has openly admitted she would have sex with a famous person if given the chance, and only with my permission.
u/fuckincelebrities

quote:

Throwaway because some people I know browse this sub.

So, title. My girlfriend has openly admitted she would have sex with a famous person if given the chance, and only with my permission.

She jokingly suggested we make a list of famous people we�re allowed to have sex with, but it quickly turned into a conversation about the nature of our relationship.

I know this is kind of a usual thing to do for couples, it�s even joked about in some sitcoms, but for some reason this conversation triggered the insecure part of me because I realized she was openly suggesting to have sex with someone else.

I admit I�m very insecure when it comes to this matter. I know I have to solve some personal issues when it comes to self-esteem, I sometimes struggle with jealousy even though my gf has always been truthful, but this is not the reason I�m making this post. I�m working on that, planning on seeing a professional.

Back to the matter at hand, she�s always been way more progressive-thinking than me. She thinks casual sex is not the same as making love to your SO, and is okay with the idea of having an open relationship if we both agree to it. It�s not something that comes up very often, but when it does I make sure to let her know that I don�t want an open relationship: I only want to be in a relationship with exclusive sexual rights between my SO and I. And she understands and respects that because she loves me and doesn�t really care what type of relationship we have, as long as it�s with me.

But about this whole situation, what hurt me the most is the sudden realization that she would have sex with someone else while being in a relationship with me. She never denied that.

I said that obviously everyone has crushes and platonic loves, but it�s one thing to be turned on by someone famous, and a completely different one to fully admit that you�d have sex with them if given the chance.

She said that she wouldn�t if I�m not okay with it, above all she wants to be with me and make me happy, but the thought of her willingness to be intimate with another man has me upset.

In an attempt to calm me down she said it would be meaningless because the other person is famous, and that�s the only reason she�d do it, but to me that was just fuel to the fire because it kinda grossed me out that she�d have sex with someone only because they�re famous. So I called her superficial which honestly I regret.

As of now I�m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my gf has admitted she�d have sex with another man if she had my permission. I don�t see it as lightly or unimportant as she does, and it�s kind of worrying me because I�m beginning to see we have very different points of view regarding this.

How can I solve this?

TLDR: Girlfriend is okay with the idea of opening our relationship to casual sex, admitted she would like to have sex with a certain celebrity if given the chance and my permission.

I mean, poo poo, who hasn�t joked around about what celebrity they�d bang if they had the chance? The casual sex/open relationship mention is a little iffy though.

In reality, there�s like a 0.00000001% chance you�d actually have the chance to sleep with a celebrity on your �yeah, I�d do �em� list.

But on that topic, did we ever find out which D-List celebrity knocked up that one Reddit poster?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:49

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Anne Whateley posted:

not saying anything about this case, but in general, it's actually not an unusual response to go back to it

https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a15957811/cheated-with-my-rapist/

While this is valid as a point, it just seems so much different from the story we've been given by that OP. People react to trauma in a lot of different ways, so it's not necessarily impossible that this is just her method of dealing with it, but that marriage is certainly destroyed, regardless.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (M/23) girlfriend (F/24) has openly admitted she would have sex with a famous person if given the chance, and only with my permission.
u/fuckincelebrities

I mean, poo poo, who hasn’t joked around about what celebrity they’d bang if they had the chance? The casual sex/open relationship mention is a little iffy though.

In reality, there’s like a 0.00000001% chance you’d actually have the chance to sleep with a celebrity on your ‘yeah, I’d do ‘em’ list.

But on that topic, did we ever find out which D-List celebrity knocked up that one Reddit poster?

It's Bruce Campbell, for both stories

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:54

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Caganer posted:

yeah i mean, she may be backing him off?

it sounds to me like she explicitly tried to make time for him (i can see you for an hour) but instead of taking it as a happy and positive sign, he got mad it wasn't as much time as he wanted so he got angry. she might have not been backing him off before, but if he replied in a visibly angry way to her offer she is probably backing him off now.

that is ok if she wants to. you all should read "the gift of fear" - "discounting the no" is one of the most reliable "pre-incident indicators". it's perfectly valid for a woman to become uncomfortable with someone displaying a combination of entitlement to attention and anger when it is not granted in sufficient quanity

Yeah, like, I don't think you should be setting up deliberate tests for a significant other to pass but seeing how someone takes a reasonable 'no' is pretty important. Honestly from just that single post the OP scares me.

As for the rape story I don't think it's that weird that the guys denied everything, like, that doesn't really tell you one way or the other. Her behavior is more what's cinching to me that something happened especially if she hasn't behaved like this before. Also if she was drugged she might have actually 'participated' enough for the dudes to justify it to themselves because rapists are shitbags.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 02:59

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

Seems odd to call people who drugged you "nice young guys who made a mistake" like you can accidently drug someone. It tick too many reddit boxes so I'm voting fake news

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:06

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

PetraCore posted:

Yeah, like, I don't think you should be setting up deliberate tests for a significant other to pass but seeing how someone takes a reasonable 'no' is pretty important. Honestly from just that single post the OP scares me.

As for the rape story I don't think it's that weird that the guys denied everything, like, that doesn't really tell you one way or the other. Her behavior is more what's cinching to me that something happened especially if she hasn't behaved like this before. Also if she was drugged she might have actually 'participated' enough for the dudes to justify it to themselves because rapists are shitbags.

I feel like she was interested before but just lost interest when he acted like a loving creep, and now is trying to let stuff trail off.

Also yeah, no, the dudes are prolly pieces of poo poo and rapists are not well known for their honesty, that's not inconsistent at all. Though the above is another thing that seems weird to me, because it's not like some rando drugged her drink and then the guys took her off for what they both thought was consensual sex; if they literally drugged her, they're absolutely rapists with no debate whatsoever(They are probably this regardless), and her saying that they're not so bad after they drugged her, going by her story, is just odd, and what makes the story seem off.

Blade Runner fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Jun 16, 2018

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:07

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

La Brea Carpet posted:

Unless, of course, they needs someone to play a comically hapless princess who keeps having to be rescued from things like a stiff breeze or a slightly heavy duvet.

Here, if you play Dungeon World, for all your Princess needs.

Content: There's some actual good advice in the comments.

My [F/18] mom [F/53] thinks there are demons in my house just because (1) my sister [F/20] told her a dream about demons and (2) I deal with depression. She won�t stop screaming for God to �cast them out� and it�s bothering me.

e. goddamnit, posted before I caught up and got beaten. Some good comments on that one,

quote:

Did Jesus have to scream at demons to get them to leave? No, he just told them, "Go," and they went.

Tell your mother instead to pray: Lord, please help me to trust you. I know we are in your hands, I know nothing happens that is outside of your control. Please help us not to be afraid, and to do your will.

I think fear and panic can be contagious, and for whatever reason it has spread through your family. What you need instead of wailing prayers of fear is prayers of peace and trust.

mllaneza fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Jun 16, 2018

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:18

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My BF [25M] of 7+ years is not sexually attracted to certain parts of my [24F] body - help?Relationships (self.relationships)

quote:

I'm a female athlete, very passionate about and skilled at my sport. It's a sport where one's strength/weight ratio is extremely important. I spend 15+ hours a week at the gym. On top of that, I have a fast metabolism and am naturally quite thin and muscular. As a result, my body is...not the average body for a woman. I'm tall and very slender (5'8 and ~127lbs), but am pretty "cut". I have almost a full six pack, intense back muscles, and very defined arms with forearm and bicep veins (lol). My legs are really the only part of me that are just thin and...normal looking? However, I would characterize myself as pretty traditionally feminine. I have very long hair, I wear makeup and very feminine clothing, etc. Just giving some background. On a personal level, I love my body and I especially love what it can do.

Anyway, my BF is extremely active and fit as well, and we really enjoy doing athletic and outdoorsy things together. He's expressed many times that he's happy to have a girlfriend who can easily keep up with him and even outdo him in that realm. However, the other day we were about to have sex, and when he saw me laying naked on the bed he was turned off by my, in his words, "ridiculous six pack." We didn't end up having sex because he.... had some performance issues. He ended up telling me that it's hard for him to be turned on by the way certain parts of my body look, particularly my stomach, back, and arms. He was very kind about it, but also very honest. I've heard this from him some time ago when I was really into lifting weights and got kind of "bulky," but that was years ago and my body looks considerably different and more slender now.

I get it, it's not the way a traditionally sexy/feminine woman looks and I don't expect my BF to be able to control what he finds sexy. However, it just made me really sad to discuss. He kept saying that he loves having sex with me because it's very emotionally intimate and he finds my face/hair/legs/other parts of me to be very beautiful. And we do have sex multiple times a week that is mutually satisfying and a lot of fun - he seems to be frequently horny. I just can't shake the feeling now that I'm not womanly enough for him. There are plenty of woman out there who would be much more sexy to him. I know I shouldn't compare, but I am anyway. In the past, I've done things like prance around in lingerie or put on a "show" for him to turn him on...but now I can't even think about doing that because...well, why would I, when he doesn't find my body attractive? I'm now brainstorming ways to contort my body when we have sex so I can conceal my muscles... I don't know. I just cannot shake the fact that he literally lost his boner because of my abs. He says he was not feeling it in general at that moment and normally when he's already aroused it isn't a big deal, but the fact that it's even a "deal" at all is upsetting. He was adamant that he doesn't want me to change anything, he loves me, etc. etc., all of which I believe, and he was very tactful about the whole thing. But it just...totally sucks.

What can I do? If anything?

EDIT: Added some more detail to the last paragraph.

tl;dr: I am a very lean and muscular woman as a result of being a very dedicated athlete, BF and I have great sex but recently had some "performance issues" related to him not being sexually attracted to certain parts of my body. Not sure what to do because now I feel ugly.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:29

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

mllaneza posted:

My [F/18] mom [F/53] thinks there are demons in my house just because (1) my sister [F/20] told her a dream about demons and (2) I deal with depression. She won�t stop screaming for God to �cast them out� and it�s bothering me.

e. goddamnit, posted before I caught up and got beaten. Some good comments on that one,

Oh, that is a good comment! It addresses the issue in a way that isn't invalidating the mother's faith. Not that religion is a way to excuse everything, but if you tried to argue with her about demons not being real or whatever it absolutely would convince her demons are speaking through you or something, or would at least contribute to the upset she's trying to purge in a disruptive manner.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:30

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I couldn't find a part 1.

Sugar daddy (40M) and I (20F) part Ⅱ

Yeah finally I told him we're not suit last night , and he really really angry,he thought I've got a boyfriend or find a new SD, he said he can do anything for me and don't leave him... I told him I just don't wanna this kinda arrangement any more,and blocked him. After that I stayed at my friend's place all night,but this morning when I back home, I just find that my window was broken.... Holy s.....

My neighbor told me that last night a man came here to find me,and told them he's my boyfriend, they told him I'm not here... he tried to break the door but it's doesn't works so he breaks my window ...

I called the police and now I'm gonna move out of here...

My friend asked "he really likes you and treats you well, why do you wanna cut off with him?" I think maybe she can never feel What I've felt. Truthfully, he's rich and good looking, but I don't wanna be a toy, something gone wrong in this arrangement...

Well I'd better to stop sugaring or something... And really thks for y'all, I'll gonna post more about this till the end...

TL;DR;: finally I cut off with him...

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:45

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Caganer posted:

My BF [25M] of 7+ years is not sexually attracted to certain parts of my [24F] body - help?Relationships (self.relationships)

She should get fat on him.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 03:58

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I couldn't find a part 1.

Is it this?

My sugar daddy（40/M）wants me（20/F）to be his girlfriend...

quote:

I thought he doesn't mean that too serious cuz he's my sugar daddy, I never put too much emotion and never make it too serious lol.

We're like FWB,which means I use my time and body to earn something from him, I'm single and have no other sugar daddys, we're both satisfy about this...

But I just found that he's really serious about this and he's being bit crazy...

He texts me 24/7（yeah true almost 24/7 except sleeping）and want me to delete all my contacts, doesn't even let me talk to my friend or go out with them... Send msgs like " I want you"" you're mine" Is that normal？

He's 40, single and he looks good but I can't reply to his love cuz I don't know how to deal with that...

Should I accept him？I don't know......

Advice wanted lol

Pls tell me what should I do...

TL;DR;: my sugar daddy wanna be my boyfriend and he's kinda controlling...lol What should I do

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:00

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [25F] boyfriend [27M] of 1.5 years always feels the need to remind me that I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world.

quote:

My boyfriend isn't very expressive, so he doesn't compliment me often. We've had plenty of talks about this and I always tell him that I want him to be more verbally affectionate. He tries sometimes but he doesn't always keep it up and it makes me really insecure. I always used to be such a confident girl in previous relationships. I would point out hot girls to my bfs, talk about threesomes, etc. Now, one time we were watching a movie and an actress popped up on screen naked and without thinking he practically moaned "oh gently caress" and it killed me inside. He never reacts like that when I get naked, he never asks me for nudes (granted we hang out almost every day so he sees me naked all the time), but he still follows around 20 instagram accounts of naked girls.

He's a wonderful boyfriend other than this aspect, but it's really messing with my self esteem. I can't stand the thought of him looking at another girl anymore, when that was something that never bothered me before. I keep comparing myself to other women and whenever I see a girl that looks like that actress, I get crazy insecure. All I want is to feel like the most beautiful girl in the world to him. I know that objectively I am not, but shouldn't I subjectively be the most beautiful in his eyes? If he doesn't make me feel that way then who will? It's not like friends or strangers can do that so I shouldn't need to get it from him. I love how I look and I'm not insecure in my own feelings about myself, but I think I deserve to me admired and I want my boyfriend to admire me, not anyone else.

Whenever I bring this up to him, he reminds me that of course other people are more attractive, that celebrities and models etc are prettier than me or him and everyone else and that's life. I understand that but why does he always need to point it out? Why is it so hard for him to make me feel gorgeous in his eyes? I know he is attracted to me but he is so bad at showing it and doesn't seem think it's important. He says he obviously thinks I'm beautiful because otherwise he wouldn't be with me, but to me it isn't obvious unless he shows it every day. How do I get through to him?

tl;dr: How do I get my boyfriend to make me feel more beautiful?

And one where all you really need is the title:

Me [26 M] with world [7.66 billion?], want to know how to better get along and empathize with people?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:03

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I couldn't find a part 1.

Sugar daddy (40M) and I (20F) part Ⅱ

searching for "sugar baby" pulls some gems - like the literal prostitute who is mad her john doesn't text her enough

Is this normal for a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship?

quote:

I met my current sugar daddy online. He's a cosmetic surgeon but also makes some of his money playing poker. He has a home in Phoenix and one in Vegas but is looking for a home in Austin (where I live). Before we agreed to an arrangement, he told me that he does a lot of traveling during the week and that weekends would be best for hanging out. Since I'm a college student, this was more than okay with me. He's also widowed and has an eight year old daughter.

Here's my issue: While I do love spending time with him, I wish we texted more. I understand that discretion is very important to sugar daddies but I'd still like to be texted more. Prior to him, I've had three boyfriends (guys my age) and I would always get "good morning/good night" and "thinking of you" texts- things that happen in a normal relationship. Part of me does miss those normal relationships but my sugar daddy gives me things guys my age could never give me. Plus he's way more mature.

I don't want to come off as needy but I'm starting to feel lonely. I just want some advice on how to deal with this. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE. We haven't texted each other since Monday.

"the man who pays me for sex is not as attentive to my emotional needs as my past boyfriends. why is this reddit?"

Haifisch posted:

My [25F] boyfriend [27M] of 1.5 years always feels the need to remind me that I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world.

Wow @ the ages, that some serious college dating amateur hour poo poo. He's obviously "negging" her so she feels like she can't leave because she couldn't do better

Haifisch posted:

Me [26 M] with world [7.66 billion?], want to know how to better get along and empathize with people?

Doing a moderate dose of Psilocybin in an Amsterdam hostel helped me with this. (not a joke)

Caganer fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Jun 16, 2018

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:04

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Men really are terrible, aren't we? Holy Christ at some of these.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:16

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Caganer posted:

My BF [25M] of 7+ years is not sexually attracted to certain parts of my [24F] body - help?Relationships (self.relationships)

Break up with him and go out with me instead

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:18

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Me [23M] with my gf's brother [16M], who performs Satanic/Wiccan rituals on me

quote:

Throwaway because this is personal.

Me and my gf, let's call her Cara, have been dating for 4 months. I met her family maybe a month ago. They all are completely normal, and Cara is completely normal. Her family is not that crazy about me and probably thinks that I'm a loser compared to Cara but they're polite enough, and her parents let her make her own decisions.

Now the exception to their normality is Cara's little brother, let's call him Liam. Liam is 16 and insists on everyone calling him by his Satanic/Wiccan name. He does not like me at all and is either a Satanist or is Wiccan. Neither Cara nor her parents are willing to specify exactly what Liam is doing or practicing.

I was obviously surprised at Liam's religious preferences, but I love Cara, and I'm willing to tolerate him. The line, however, is when Liam's religious practices interfere with me. Liam constantly makes implicit threats about calling on demons and doing blood rituals with pork blood...I don't even know. The things he says and threatens to do are so ridiculous that I sometimes think he's messing with me. I try to bring Liam up with Cara and she's always like, "Why do you obsess over him so much? What's wrong with you? He's just being a kid." And I complain about him doing rituals with summoning whatever to attack me and she's like "Haha like do you seriously believe that?"

I've tolerated this for several weeks now, but every time I see Liam, he gets more and more eccentric. He's started saying things to me like, "you're going to die soon", "You will die a painful death", and some weird poo poo about summoning demons to "sodomize my soul". This wouldn't concern me usually because I don't stay at Cara's house, but I am actually worried that Liam is mentally unstable and will attack me when he realizes that his summoning and death rituals to kill me don't work.

tl;dr: Girlfriend's little brother really dislikes me and appears mentally unstable.

I want to know his Satanic name.

quote:

redrosebeetle 235 points � 2 years ago
More like Punkassism.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:33

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [23M] with my gf's brother [16M], who performs Satanic/Wiccan rituals on me

I want to know his Satanic name.

I dont think anybody should be loving with that kind of stuff.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:38

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Get a defensive bible, and maybe a crucifix.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

"This teenager is escalating the edgelord poo poo he's only doing to piss me off, that means he's unstable."-A huge weenie.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:39

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Haifisch posted:

"This teenager is escalating the edgelord poo poo he's only doing to piss me off, that means he's unstable."-A huge weenie.

I say, throw some holy water on him and watch the fun begin.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:40

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Salty Josh posted:

I say, throw some holy water on him and watch the fun begin.

Regular water that you say is holy water.

Or actual holy water, but don't tell him it's holy water until later. Watch as he flips out and pretends to be burning.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:45

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

chitoryu12 posted:

Regular water that you say is holy water.

Or actual holy water, but don't tell him it's holy water until later. Watch as he flips out and pretends to be burning.

Mind hosed.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:46

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Caganer posted:

My BF [25M] of 7+ years is not sexually attracted to certain parts of my [24F] body - help?Relationships (self.relationships)

this man is a loving fool omg what is wrong with youuuuuuuuuu

# ? Jun 16, 2018 04:46

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I (24f) am desperately wanting to go out and experience the world and have fun. My fiance (33) thinks I'm being childish.

quote:

I have been with my fiance for 5 years and I couldn't be happier with a guy. The age gap is a little big compared to most, but I pursued him so I blame myself only for any issues that come from the age gap.

My childhood was weird and sucked and I was sheltered, I never got to go to school, never had friends, didn't learn to drive until my fiance taught me, and I only recently got my first job, which took courage.

I've been gaining confidence with improving myself, and I've always desperately wanted to experience life in every possible way. I want to travel, learn new things, meet new people, party, ect. Everything I never got to do I guess.

I told my fiance, and he told me I need to act like an adult and stop being childish. He said I should be more mature than that and that my dreams are the dreams of a single girl. And now I'm confused and I don't know what to do.

He works a lot and is often busy, so I know it isn't realistic of me to want these things for us..but he hurt my feelings by immediately shutting me down. Am I childish?

Tl;dr; didn't get normal experiences growing up. I want to go and do everything I can now and fiance says I'm childish and being immature. Is he right?

quote:

[�]wanderingdev 973 points 1 year ago

girl, don't fool yourself. he saw you coming from a mile away and took full advantage of a naive, under educated, lonely girl that he could train to be what he wanted. now you're daring to break away from what he wants you to do so he's insulting you and your dreams.

you are not childish to want to actually experience life. that's what girls your age are SUPPOSED to be doing. you need to seriously rethink this relationship.

[�]ineedsomeone22 [S] 365 points 1 year ago

Honestly, somedays I do rethink the relationship because he gets weird about strange things. Like I love cereal, and he tells me not to eat it because "cereal is for kids".. Seems dumb writing it, but honestly, what????

Silly redditor, Trix are for kids.

( :sever:

)

# ? Jun 16, 2018 05:04

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Haifisch posted:

I (24f) am desperately wanting to go out and experience the world and have fun. My fiance (33) thinks I'm being childish.

Silly redditor, Trix are for kids.

()

User Wanderingdev is on point.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 05:05

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this man is a loving fool omg what is wrong with youuuuuuuuuu

If she�s that fit, she should get him in a clean and jerk lift, then throw him out the window when she�s holding him over her head.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 05:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 16:03

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

LadyPictureShow posted:

If she’s that fit, she should get him in a clean and jerk lift, then throw him out the window when she’s holding him over her head.

Stop, dear god, stop!

My penis can only get so erect

# ? Jun 16, 2018 05:58

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