/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

I mean she could always gain weight to fill out the six pack if she really cared that much about what he thought she looked like. After all, if she had the opposite problem "My boyfriend gets turned off by my belly rolls" the solution people would be saying is "Get thinner".

# ? Jun 16, 2018 06:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 01:48

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Panfilo posted:

I mean she could always gain weight to fill out the six pack if she really cared that much about what he thought she looked like. After all, if she had the opposite problem "My boyfriend gets turned off by my belly rolls" the solution people would be saying is "Get thinner".

I don't think it's fair to expect a person to get unhealthy or less healthy for someone else in the same way it's okay to ask someone to get healthy, y'know?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 07:44

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

They are actually different, since in only one of those cases you're asking the person to adopt a less healthy lifestyle

It's definitely a bad thing to ask and if you can't stand that your girlfriend has visible ab and back muscles then just break up

# ? Jun 16, 2018 07:54

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My (34/F) husband (35/M) has been lying about finances for our whole marriage (5 years). Do I stick it out and hope it gets better?

I've posted in the past about my husband's small business. He has been struggling for years to properly manage it, and as a result, it has put a huge strain on our marriage. Despite asking him to take certain actions to mitigate some of the strain and going through couples counseling, it's only gotten worse.

Over the years there has been many instances of him lying about finances. He will miss payments on bills or rent and then I'll only find out once a late notice has been sent. This resulted in me taking over all financial obligations, but then he would tell me that I'm treating him like a child and demand that he be given some responsibility. Inevitably, he would fail to make payments again and the cycle would repeat. We are completely 50/50 in our finances, and I would come to find out that money I gave to him to pay for my share of the bills was never utilized for the appropriate reason; he was instead funneling it into his business to make up for lack of income.

Recently I found out he hadn't paid our child's school tuition bill for 4 months. This led to the school threatening to remove our child from the school. I had to empty my savings to pay off the balance and keep our child enrolled. I was devastated.

The potential last straw came today. He received a collections notice on a credit card that he just hadn't been paying. His credit score is in the toilet. His excuse was that he just wasn't paying attention. I'm starting to think this is just an unmanageable situation and that I may need to leave him to do what's best for our child.

Edit: Since a couple of people have suggested checking the credit reports - both mine and my child's are clear. I'm meticulous with my own finances, and my husband and I don't even have joint checking accounts, mostly because when we did he would pull money from it and not replenish it.

TL;DR: husband is constantly lying about and hiding issues related to finances. I don't know if I can handle it anymore.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 09:39

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My [26 M] girlfriend [25F] is considering legally changing her name for her comedy duo.

My girlfriend has a wonderful sense of humor. I love her, and one of the reasons is how hard she can make me laugh. However, I don't think anyone would consider her someone who should try to be funny for a living. I hope saying that doesn't make me a terrible boyfriend. I just don't want to see her invest a huge amount of life-altering effort in something that probably won't work out.

For the last year, she's been getting into improv classes. I'm not a huge fan of going to shows all the time, but she enjoys it so much I always support her. Here's where things are starting to become worrisome: she's started putting on comedy shows in really small venues with one of her improv friends. They're trying to brand themselves as a comedy duo, and they seem to think changing their names would really put them over the top and show dedication or something (I guess).

The name? Nutt Bugg. You think I'm kidding. That's what she's seriously considering changing her name to. How do I talk sense into someone who is about to make this level of an awful decision? If nothing else, is it fair to tell her I'm not comfortable introducing the person I love as Nutt Bugg?

tl;dr: girlfriend wants a terrible legal name change, how do i talk her out of it?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 11:01

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (34/F) husband (35/M) has been lying about finances for our whole marriage (5 years). Do I stick it out and hope it gets better?

He's also going to cheat on you. Just, y'know, letting you know.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 11:33

Peanut Butler: Jul 25, 2003

value-brand cereal posted:

basically everyone everywhere at every moment in this entire world needs therapy.

this is from pages ago but I decided to just skip from them to now and this is pretty much what repeats in my brain over and over reading itt

# ? Jun 16, 2018 12:07

Catzilla: May 12, 2003; "Untie the queen"

Ok which one of you is this?

My [30m] brother [27m] confided to me about a sexual obsession, asking for help.Non-Romantic
submitted 8 hours ago by Sufficient_Sort

quote:

My brother and I are pretty close, so this wasn't completely abnormal of him but it still came as a big surprise. I'm unsure how to deal with it.

Basically my brother has always struggled with dating and women. Since we were teens he's been pretty socially isolated. He wants a girlfriend but usually prefers to be by himself. This of course just makes the dating problems worse. He's had one girlfriend for a couple years when he was in college. Other than that he hasn't had any romantic or sexual experience.

Today he asked me to come over because he needed my help. He needed to tell me a secret he'd been keeping. After a long conversation I now know that since he was 13 or so he's had a crippling porn addiction. It turns out a lot of the reason he was and still is a hermit outside of work or school is because he can't overcome the desire to stay inside watching porn. He told me he's tried a lot of times to quit, but always ends up caving. His record without porn/masturbation is only three days. Sometimes he's getting by on 5 or less hours of sleep, calling in sick to work, and otherwise bailing on normal things because of just jacking off to porn for hours and hours. It controls his whole life.

It gets worse. He admitted the last few jobs he lost were due to this. He either got caught browsing porn on the company network (2 jobs) or masturbating at his work station (1 job). He admitted to going to the bathroom sometimes multiple times a day while at work to masturbate. He says he tries to fight it but the urge is too strong. He scraped through college with a 2.6 gpa, and told me he just let everyone assume he was dumb or lazy, because the truth was the porn addiction taking all his time.

He said when he gets turned on it's like he's not in control of his body anymore. He claims to be "pretty much constantly" thinking about sex. Well, specifically, he's extremely obsessed with big boobs to the point he secretly takes pictures and videos of women in public who have large breasts. He's got a massive collection of these on his phone and computer, a personal fap bank. He gets a boner every time he sees a chick with big boobs and feels like he has to masturbate right then or he'll explode. Which has led to him jacking off at work like I said but also in other places, like bathrooms in bars, and even in public sometimes. He confessed to hiding behind bushes in the park and jerking to women with big breasts who go jogging by. He does the same thing at night except hides himself near people's windows to peep inside while getting off. He's spied on women undressing, taking showers, and having sex.

So his life essentially revolves around breasts and the compulsive masturbation and porn habits. That's why his only girlfriend left him a few years ago. Since then he's had no luck dating (I wonder why, right??) In fact this is all probably why he was never successful with relationships in the first place.

I seriously had no idea about any of this. It blindsided me. Yes I knew he was a hermit but he always said he was just playing videogames and being on the internet, standard introverted nerd stuff. So none of the advice I've tried to give over the years about how to make some friends and talk to girls has worked because it turns out the issue isn't shyness, it's his life being taken over by porn.

He said he alternates between manically bingeing porn or creeping on women when he's horny which is a vast amount of the time, and feeling totally miserable that this is all there is to his existence. Somewhere deep down he wants a normal social life but doesn't know how to get rid of the sexual obsession that makes him always choose masturbation when he's got the option between that and anything else. It interferes with pretty much everything.

He reached out to me to spill all this because he obviously doesn't have any close friends. I'm glad he trusts me, however, I have no idea how to help. I've never dealt with anything close to this level of addictive behaviors, or know anyone who has.

I told him that, which made him feel like he's beyond hope. I said that wasn't true, he should try seeing a therapist who helps with addictions and compulsions. I said I could find one for him.

So I'm searching online for local shrinks who do that sort of thing. I feel like he needs something intensive and specialized for these issues, but I don't know anything about psychology. How do I go about finding the right person for him?

Also, just in general, did I respond the right way? Like I said I was seriously taken aback and I think he was expecting I'd do more than I did. But I'm out of my element here, I don't know how to help except find him someone who does know. I also told him I'll of course be here to encourage him getting better. Was this an okay response?

As an aside, yes he's my brother and I care about him, but I also seriously want him to do something to get this fixed because some of the things he said were really disturbing. I'm worried for people's safety around him frankly.

If it's at all relevant, our dad died when we were 15 and 12, from cancer. After that our mom wasn't the same again (understandable). She was a lot more distant, worked a lot to provide for us, and struggled with depression. She dated a bit after a while but nothing serious so we didn't end up with a stepdad or anything. It was hard for all of us. I turned out fine, I guess my brother didn't. He doesn't want me to tell her about what he told me.

Any advice much appreciated!!

TL;DR: Younger brother confessed he's had a secret all-consuming pornography and masturbation addiction since around 13. It's prevented him from having normal relationships, social life, and even affects him at work. He finally decided he needs help quitting. I'm looking for some tips on how to support him.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 12:12

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My [26 M] girlfriend [25F] is considering legally changing her name for her comedy duo

quote:

My girlfriend has a wonderful sense of humor. I love her, and one of the reasons is how hard she can make me laugh. However, I don't think anyone would consider her someone who should try to be funny for a living. I hope saying that doesn't make me a terrible boyfriend. I just don't want to see her invest a huge amount of life-altering effort in something that probably won't work out.

For the last year, she's been getting into improv classes. I'm not a huge fan of going to shows all the time, but she enjoys it so much I always support her. Here's where things are starting to become worrisome: she's started putting on comedy shows in really small venues with one of her improv friends. They're trying to brand themselves as a comedy duo, and they seem to think changing their names would really put them over the top and show dedication or something (I guess).

The name? Nutt Bugg. You think I'm kidding. That's what she's seriously considering changing her name to. How do I talk sense into someone who is about to make this level of an awful decision? If nothing else, is it fair to tell her I'm not comfortable introducing the person I love as Nutt Bugg?

tl;dr: girlfriend wants a terrible legal name change, how do i talk her out of it?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 12:23

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

/r/relationships: how can I call the person I love Nut Bugg

# ? Jun 16, 2018 12:49

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [26 M] girlfriend [25F] is considering legally changing her name for her comedy duo

Literally a few posts up on this page.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 13:24

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

as a guydyke.... (self.sex)

submitted 2 hours ago by bokuwachan

quote:

I think I'm a guydyke (or might be, or might be some disorders), I only watch lesbian porns, never like those "normal" porns in the first place, and I did once try to pursue a lesbian friend (short hair, alth she refuses since she has a long-time gf anyway), is this whole thing normal? Never thought myself as gay, not attractive to men in every way. Although I still like cis-girls, but especially short hair girls.... (short hair doesn't mean those military crew cut)

The whole stuff doesn't sound good. At some point I think I might also have lesbian-radar (don't have any kinds of gaydar)

update: and then I found myself is having strong dysphoria in the past few years. I only watch trap porns now plus some lesbian porns of course.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 13:39

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

If she�s Nutt Bugg I can only assume the other one is Bugg Nutt?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 13:39

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

CheesyDog posted:

as a guydyke.... (self.sex)

submitted 2 hours ago by bokuwachan

as a guy, i want to gently caress women. am i gay. help

# ? Jun 16, 2018 14:09

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I think for me to decide whether that OP is discovering they are a gay trans woman or just has a weird fixation on lesbians I'd have to know how old they are

# ? Jun 16, 2018 14:12

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My 18 year old sister with Aspergers is becoming more and more violent towards our parents. Since she is 18, what are our options? (WA) (self.legaladvice)

quote:

My sister is 18 and has Aspergers. The past few years, her episodes are becoming more and more violent. This violence is towards our parents only (I don�t live at home, younger brother and sister still there). This includes hitting, scratching, biting, and, recently, threats with a knife. She also self harms during these episodes. She is on medication, but I�m not sure what kind they are.

I�m unsure what options we have, since she is 18. She has the mental maturity of a 13 year old, so I don�t believe she can function or succeed on her own. Since she�s a legal adult, does commitment into a hospital or group home have to be completely voluntary? If so, how do we get her the help she needs, and/or keep my parents safe?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 14:15

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Caganer posted:

My 18 year old sister with Aspergers is becoming more and more violent towards our parents. Since she is 18, what are our options? (WA) (self.legaladvice)

I don't think this is Aspergers

# ? Jun 16, 2018 14:21

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

That also doesn't sound like "mental maturity of a 13 year old".

# ? Jun 16, 2018 14:33

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

All scorpions glow. (self.adultery)

quote:

Three simple words, that's all it said - my diet Snapple lid, serving up some pointless "real facts" (tm). I stopped to get a drink after a brief meet with my AP a few days ago. We hosed in every which way we could think of. We were like a couple in a burning plane, trying to cram every bit of pleasure in a tiny blink of a time before it crashed and burned. Rushed cuddling after,short but perfectly chosen sweet words, tender gazes, little kisses here and there. Bliss , until that parched drive home.

Then Snapple happened. Three little words wormed their way in my brain and started munching through the memories. All scorpions glow. Ain't that the lovely truth of my life. He is handsome, sweet, successful, funny, intelligent, smart as a wip, fucks like a ...well like a man who knows how to gently caress well. He shines so bright that I swear he loving glows in the dark.

But all scorpions glow. Is he so smooth because he had so much practice? Is he lying about everything about his home life? Is he loving another woman or several besides me? Is tomorrow going to be the day he is going to be "done"? Yeah, most likely. I don't pry - dont ask questions you don't want the answer to. Don't really care, to be honest. He is present with me, when he is with me.

A scorpion is going to do what he does. He can't help it, haven't you heard the story? Haven't you learn your lesson with all of the other scorpions? The prettiest ones sting the worst. Takes the longest time to die from their poison.

And yet, he calls me to meet, and I can't stay away. I won't. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm the scorpion. Funny, do I glow to him too?

The point of this post? None, I guess. A stupid Snapple lid stirred some weird stuff in my head. If It's too good to be true, then just sit back and wait for the catch. That's what I do. Any of you met your scorpion yet?

I added /r/adultery to my multireddit I use to find content a while back and while it's mostly idiots talking about "opsec" sometimes there are some gems

# ? Jun 16, 2018 15:03

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Is that even supposed to be deep? Scorpions have fluorescent exoskeletons, I think it�s just a weird fact on a juice lid. That woman�s brain is broken.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 15:27

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Caganer posted:

All scorpions glow. (self.adultery)

I added /r/adultery to my multireddit I use to find content a while back and while it's mostly idiots talking about "opsec" sometimes there are some gems

This reads like bad film-noir fanfic

The Case Of The Wise Snapple

# ? Jun 16, 2018 15:30

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

andrew smash posted:

Is that even supposed to be deep? Scorpions have fluorescent exoskeletons, I think it�s just a weird fact on a juice lid. That woman�s brain is broken.

yeah, i found this out when i was looking for a UV flashlight on Amazon, apparently people use them to look for scorpions in their homes/yards :stare:

# ? Jun 16, 2018 15:33

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My girlfriend has a wonderful sense of humor.

...

Nutt Bugg

# ? Jun 16, 2018 15:43

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Caganer posted:

yeah, i found this out when i was looking for a UV flashlight on Amazon, apparently people use them to look for scorpions in their homes/yards

Apparently people also use them to find signs of infidelity, so analogy checks out.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 16:14

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

No. No. I am down for you identifying as whatever you want but a guydyke? gently caress THAT. Help me I am a straight man who only likes lesbian porn and likes lesbians!

The few times I ever went to the local lesbian bar, there were always a few dudes watching the girls on the dance floor. Sometimes they'd approach a pair and I wonder, in what loving universe does this work?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:23

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Cowslips Warren posted:

No. No. I am down for you identifying as whatever you want but a guydyke? gently caress THAT. Help me I am a straight man who only likes lesbian porn and likes lesbians!

The few times I ever went to the local lesbian bar, there were always a few dudes watching the girls on the dance floor. Sometimes they'd approach a pair and I wonder, in what loving universe does this work?

Maybe they were just looking for a fire escape.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:29

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Cowslips Warren posted:

No. No. I am down for you identifying as whatever you want but a guydyke? gently caress THAT. Help me I am a straight man who only likes lesbian porn and likes lesbians!

The few times I ever went to the local lesbian bar, there were always a few dudes watching the girls on the dance floor. Sometimes they'd approach a pair and I wonder, in what loving universe does this work?

Yeah like I'm supportive of trans lesbians but 'guydyke' is gross.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:31

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Dienes posted:

Apparently people also use them to find signs of infidelity, so analogy checks out.

bullshit my room would light up like a disco and i haven't had a conjugal visit in 6 months :colbert:

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:34

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Cowslips Warren posted:

No. No. I am down for you identifying as whatever you want but a guydyke? gently caress THAT. Help me I am a straight man who only likes lesbian porn and likes lesbians!

The few times I ever went to the local lesbian bar, there were always a few dudes watching the girls on the dance floor. Sometimes they'd approach a pair and I wonder, in what loving universe does this work?

Guys that approach pairs in a Lesbian bar generally seem to hope for one of two things:
-the pair are actually bisexual/bicurious and dude�s hoping to propose a threesome
-hoping at least one of them is straight and just there with friends

So �guydyke�, that�s just a way a straight guy tries to justify his fetish for lesbians, isn�t it. :sigh:

E: r/relationships: Then Snapple happened

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 17:48 on Jun 16, 2018

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:40

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

But not those gross lesbians with gross short hair, just the sexy feminine ones with sexy feminine short hair

# ? Jun 16, 2018 17:42

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Whenever I [32 F] talk to my husband [30 M] about female friends/colleagues he interrupts me and badgers me with all sorts of questions about lesbians.

quote:

I find these frequent interruptions whenever I talk about a woman of child bearing age frustrating, rude and unbearable.

I have no sexual or romantic interest in women and he constantly brings up the topic. He asks "did you kiss?" and "did you do X with each other?" and I always reply with "no, not at all and I'm not talking about that, I'm having a serious conversation and you're interrupting me!"

I have repeatedly shared my concerns with him and say that it's rude when he does that and that I don't interrupt him when he talks about his friends with unrelated questions. I don't interrupt him and ask him if he has gay relations with his male friends and colleagues.

Apparently I should lighten up and take it as a joke but the frequency is draining and it means he isn't taking what I am talking about seriously. I could be having a serious conversation such as learning something new at work from a female colleague or a female friend doing well with her business.

For me, whenever we talk about this he feels that he is being funny and has some sort of entitlement to badger me about this and that this is who he is.

What should I do? Is there any other way I should handle this? Is this behavior quite common amongst men?

TL;DR

My husband interrupts me whenever I talk about any female human of child bearing age and asks lesbian questions.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 18:09

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Haifisch posted:

Whenever I [32 F] talk to my husband [30 M] about female friends/colleagues he interrupts me and badgers me with all sorts of questions about lesbians.

Ask him gay questions about his friends.

Guaranteed he will get extremely uncomfortable and probably mad

# ? Jun 16, 2018 18:13

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Start referring to all the people you interact with by male pronouns and calling them dudes.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 18:15

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

dudeness posted:

Start referring to all the people you interact with by male pronouns and calling them dudes.

I still say word up idgaf. :colbert:

# ? Jun 16, 2018 18:17

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

dudeness posted:

Start referring to all the people you interact with by male pronouns and calling them dudes.

dude is gender neutral

# ? Jun 16, 2018 18:34

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

My (23M) girlfriend (22F) won�t follow some rules in my strict parents� house. I have to remind her of them every single day, and she either ignores me or rolls her eyes and gets annoyed.

quote:

We�re staying at my mom�s for the summer. My mom is pretty uptight about cleaning counters, not leaving crumbs/stains on counters. It�s not really that strict. I agree that it�s a bit gross to have granola scattered over the counter or pesto smeared on the counter above the sink. My girlfriend has already stained the couch with a bit of chocolate and stained the rug with a bit of melted peanut butter (she sat on the couch with PB toast without a plate. When I told her the PB was dripping, she straight up didn�t respond until I raised my voice sternly, and didn�t believe me that it had spilled on the rug). I had to wipe it up and go get her a plate. When I show her this as proof that she needs to be cleaner, she acts like it�s not a huge deal (it may not be for her, but the parents wouldn�t like it if they saw it.)

And some of the cleanliness standards aren�t even just my mom�s. I get bothered for my own reasons. She ate some chips earlier and just threw them back in the cabinet without putting the clip back on. When I asked her to, she said she would later, and �they won�t get stale if I leave them for 5 minutes.� It�s not even about staleness really, I just feel plain disrespected. Sometimes I raise my voice at her which I know isn�t ok. But even when I try to bring it up calmly or softly, she gets visibly annoyed and sometimes raises her voice to say �shut up�, or tries to shut me up by saying �ok ok I�ll do it, it�s not a big deal.� It�s like it doesn�t stick in her mind that these aren�t simply my preferences, but the preferences of the people whose house we�re living in.

Whenever my girlfriend and I stay at her house, a hotel, or a friend�s house, I couldn�t really care less what her cleanliness habits are. But I�m back at home for now and I am NOT in the mood to get chastised by the parental figures. I�m getting really exhausted of wiping the counters after my girlfriend eats and doing her dishes before anyone gets home, so I�ve asked her to help out. She does sometimes, but I have to ask her every time. I also have to ask her not to put open beverages next to my open laptop almost every single time she sits down with my laptop. It�s really wearing away at me, because I feel like she isn�t listening to me or respecting me. And I feel like she has no sympathy for my anxieties about ruining my computer or getting criticized by the parents, even though she has anxieties of her own, and I feel happy to accommodate that in any way.

She�s started to ignore me or say �shut up� and roll her eyes when I ask her. I feel like a parent. When we�re in her house, her mom is very loud and strict with her cleaning, and I�ve never understood it til now.

Today when she got frustrated with me, I said I�d stop asking her to do all this cleaning stuff if she would just do it before she even sits down to eat. I may have sounded a bit tough but I really don�t know what else to do. I�ve told her I�m tired of bearing the brunt with my parents for her messy habits. But it�s like she shuts off and doesn�t care or understand it. I feel resentful of her when I have to clean up after her. It feels like my only two options are to clean up after her and get annoyed, or to remind her to clean up after herself and have her get annoyed.

Is there anything different I can say or do? Am I going about this the completely wrong way? Am I even seeing the situation clearly? Is there something I�m missing or what?

TLDR Girlfriend and I are staying with parents for summer out of necessity. Leaving not an option. I ask my girlfriend to wipe the counters, be mindful of spillage, and do her dishes almost daily, as these are both the rules of the house and partially my preferences. When she doesn�t do these things, I get asked sternly by my mother to do them. I�ve told my girlfriend that I�m tired of having my mom confront me over this, and she didn�t care/believe me (even though she knows how strict my mother is), probably because she felt I was nagging her. I�m tired of doing my girlfriend�s cleaning, and I�m tired of asking her to do it. She�s tired of being asked, but she won�t do it unless asked. When I try to talk to her about this I feel like the parent of an edgy preteen (and I�m sure I sound like an uptight parent to her). What is going on here? Anything I can do differently?

quote:

We lived together for a month a few months ago, and that was in a much smaller place which was easier to keep clean. We had trays in that place which I always gave her if I ever prepared her a meal, and we had a dishwasher which we don�t have now. I did have to remind her to wash food off her plates before putting them in the dishwasher almost every time, though. That got exhausting so I�d usually end up putting her dishes in for her.

quote:

About a year and a half. Have been LDR for a majority and stayed in some airbnbs together. I was fine with her leaving dirty dishes out in one airbnb, because the owner wasn�t going to be home until we checked out. But while we were checking out, instead of emptying the bathroom trash can, my girlfriend wanted to throw away the entire bathroom trash can to avoid cleaning it. She just seemed too overwhelmed to clean it and thought it�d be easier to throw it away completely. She didn�t care that this would get me a bad review on my airbnb profile, even after I explained it multiple times. I had to basically yell and be extremely stern-sounding to get her to just dump the trash can and rinse it off.

I guess I keep waiting for her to grow out of it or something? Or maybe I�m making excuses in my head? I figure that she just doesn�t prioritize cleaning when she�s stressed about other stuff, but I don�t know. The more examples I list, the more baffled I am at her habits.

How badly did this gross womanchild manage to soil the bathroom trashcan that she felt throwing it away was the correct response?

# ? Jun 16, 2018 21:20

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My (23M) girlfriend (22F) won�t follow some rules in my strict parents� house. I have to remind her of them every single day, and she either ignores me or rolls her eyes and gets annoyed.

How badly did this gross womanchild manage to soil the bathroom trashcan that she felt throwing it away was the correct response?

Extremely lazy men/womenchildren would rather throw poo poo away than actually *gulp* CLEAN. I've seen it with dishes.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 21:26

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My (23M) girlfriend (22F) won�t follow some rules in my strict parents� house. I have to remind her of them every single day, and she either ignores me or rolls her eyes and gets annoyed.

How badly did this gross womanchild manage to soil the bathroom trashcan that she felt throwing it away was the correct response?

from the title i expected this guy and his parents to be insane neat freaks but yikes lol

# ? Jun 16, 2018 21:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

extra row of teeth posted:

Extremely lazy men/womenchildren would rather throw poo poo away than actually *gulp* CLEAN. I've seen it with dishes.

Now I'm reminded of that one Soylent guy who'd rather wear an entirely new set of clothes every day than do laundry. Laundry is inefficient, you see.

# ? Jun 16, 2018 21:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 01:48

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My (23M) girlfriend (22F) won�t follow some rules in my strict parents� house. I have to remind her of them every single day, and she either ignores me or rolls her eyes and gets annoyed.

How badly did this gross womanchild manage to soil the bathroom trashcan that she felt throwing it away was the correct response?

ah yes, the classic "ignore requests at a reasonable volume, then claim abuse if annoyance or volume increases"

# ? Jun 16, 2018 21:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »