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keyboard vomit posted:That wasn't meant to be hostile, I just have had an annoying amount of conversations with people trying to tell me that ace isn't a queer thing I see it in gbs a lot and if you correct them they fall back to making it about "graysexuals" and trying really hard to conflate the two. and they're still really mad about tumblr for some reason. just leave the weird queer teens alone! they're figuring themselves out.
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Jun 20, 2018 20:40
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Casual Encountess posted:its pansexual I have opinions about i am pansexual. wtf is wrong with making it clear that your preferences do not discriminate based on any combination of anatomy? it's just meant to be linguistically more inclusive than "bisexual" since the prefix "bi" can sort of imply that there are 2 and only 2 genders, and sometimes it's not completely clear if a person who says they're bisexual will murder you if your sexy girl bod has a dick attached.
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Jun 20, 2018 20:42
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jit bull transpile posted:i am pansexual. wtf is wrong with making it clear that your preferences do not discriminate based on any combination of anatomy? it's just meant to be linguistically more inclusive than "bisexual" since the prefix "bi" can sort of imply that there are 2 and only 2 genders, and sometimes it's not completely clear if a person who says they're bisexual will murder you if your sexy girl bod has a dick attached. see i like that because you put more than two seconds thought into that. my ~*opinions*~ (im gaytekeeping here sry) but pan, to put it like somebody said before seems to be one of the top choices for somebody who wants to identify as queer without any of the downsides.
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Jun 20, 2018 20:49
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END ME SCOOB posted:Yeah, entirely sucks in the heat of it. It's even simpler than that. I'm a cis white guy, had bi feelings all my life but suppressed them (or explored them through roleplay characters) and carried on with hetero relationships. Not sure what it was but a few months ago after turning 31 I suddenly decided that it needed to be a real part of me, not just some character. My therapist told me it was part of compartmentalizing myself when I was younger so that I would be liked, and apparently at the time I felt like showing interest in my own gender would somehow make me less liked.
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Jun 20, 2018 20:50
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Casual Encountess posted:see i like that because you put more than two seconds thought into that. my ~*opinions*~ (im gaytekeeping here sry) but pan, to put it like somebody said before seems to be one of the top choices for somebody who wants to identify as queer without any of the downsides. i think you're being way too cynical. like, how can you prove such a proposition anyway? when someone says they're pan you just demand they do a train of several different gender people on the spot? i try to take people at their word unless they're trying to pimp some obviously made up stuff like "graysexual" (e.g. "i'm only attracted to people i'm emotionally attracted to"), which even if it's real isn't a sexual orientation or gender identity at all and doesn't belong in the queer space.
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Jun 20, 2018 20:57
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yeah i'm being totally cynical. I have a chip on my shoulder after being constantly othered for most of my 20s and i'm working on that as I do my LGBTQ community work around town. I haven't really engaged in a while and i'm trying to keep an open mind while I search for a cultural fit. the pedicab community is the closest i've ever come to just naturally fitting into a social group without having to wear any masks, I just wish I could find a queer-focused space that felt like that.
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Jun 20, 2018 21:06
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Casual Encountess posted:i'd love to find a queer street hockey league or something because I feel like that's way more my thing.
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Jun 20, 2018 21:21
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Shaggar posted:Canadian geese should be exterminated iospace posted:Canadian Geese, on the other hand, unfortunately do. Actually, it's Canada Geese. They don't have citizenship.
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Jun 20, 2018 22:03
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there are days where i am all "am i really queer?" and then i remember that i have tits and i freaking love them and other girls' tits the relationship with dicks is another story. i have no problem with other trans persons having dicks although personally i dislike them? it's such a weird relationship because i have zero issue with working with them at the same time having a dislike. i very much hate my own and it's super hard to navigate that dysphoria when i am being intimate does any of that make sense? Lain Iwakura fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Jun 20, 2018 |
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Jun 20, 2018 22:29
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jit bull transpile posted:i think you're being way too cynical. like, how can you prove such a proposition anyway? when someone says they're pan you just demand they do a train of several different gender people on the spot? i try to take people at their word unless they're trying to pimp some obviously made up stuff like "graysexual" (e.g. "i'm only attracted to people i'm emotionally attracted to"), which even if it's real isn't a sexual orientation or gender identity at all and doesn't belong in the queer space. I'm another of the bi men who feel they barely belong in any queer space, and I respect the hell out of you in particular. I would love it if you could elaborate on the "obviously made up stuff", because I suspect I feel the same way but struggle with drawing lines between that stuff and the "real" stuff (like mine).
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Jun 20, 2018 22:47
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Casual Encountess posted:see i like that because you put more than two seconds thought into that. my ~*opinions*~ (im gaytekeeping here sry) but pan, to put it like somebody said before seems to be one of the top choices for somebody who wants to identify as queer without any of the downsides. i have never, ever met (or hell even heard of) someone who used "pansexual" as their pretend status to get into the queer stonecutters. like that's such an odd choice too because it kinda implies you wanna date across the full spectrum of people and you'd wind up getting pulled into conversations with other queer people where you'd just have to awkwardly pretend like you really like dicks or w/e.
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Jun 20, 2018 23:03
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jit bull transpile posted:i am pansexual. wtf is wrong with making it clear that your preferences do not discriminate based on any combination of anatomy? it's just meant to be linguistically more inclusive than "bisexual" since the prefix "bi" can sort of imply that there are 2 and only 2 genders, and sometimes it's not completely clear if a person who says they're bisexual will murder you if your sexy girl bod has a dick attached. i don't think your concern is founded here. the implied and accepted meaning of bisexual already matches what people are trying to define pansexual as. i don't care either way which word people use to describe themselves, but i do have a problem with people who, as you're doing here, try to use their identity to make snide implications about people who identify as bi. bi doesn't mean 2 in this case. prescriptivism can go to hell
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Jun 20, 2018 23:07
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SolTerrasa posted:I'm another of the bi men who feel they barely belong in any queer space, and I respect the hell out of you in particular. I would love it if you could elaborate on the "obviously made up stuff", because I suspect I feel the same way but struggle with drawing lines between that stuff and the "real" stuff (like mine). i think the "obviously made up stuff" is generally just someone describing totally ordinary heterosexual human behavior in terms that make it sound special or unusual
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Jun 20, 2018 23:14
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Venuz Patrol posted:i don't think your concern is founded here. the implied and accepted meaning of bisexual already matches what people are trying to define pansexual as. this sure as hell isn't the case where i live
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Jun 20, 2018 23:17
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i use bisexual for myself because i'm attracted to people who are the same gender as me and people that are not the same gender as me. i know that that isn't everyone's definition of bi so i usually introduce myself as pan when meeting other people in the queer community
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Jun 20, 2018 23:17
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Venuz Patrol posted:i don't think your concern is founded here. the implied and accepted meaning of bisexual already matches what people are trying to define pansexual as. i don't care either way which word people use to describe themselves, but i do have a problem with people who, as you're doing here, try to use their identity to make snide implications about people who identify as bi. most cis people won’t date trans or gender non-conforming people. the wording is very clear about intention. their post is in response to a particular, singular post, not implications about bi people as a whole or what that word means to them
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Jun 20, 2018 23:22
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Improbable Lobster posted:i use bisexual for myself because i'm attracted to people who are the same gender as me and people that are not the same gender as me. i know that that isn't everyone's definition of bi so i usually introduce myself as pan when meeting other people in the queer community i used to tell people i was pan until a furry got the wrong idea because apparently that means "dtf anthro animals" to some people and now i'm bi unless i know the audience
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Jun 20, 2018 23:22
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SolTerrasa posted:I'm another of the bi men who feel they barely belong in any queer space, and I respect the hell out of you in particular. I would love it if you could elaborate on the "obviously made up stuff", because I suspect I feel the same way but struggle with drawing lines between that stuff and the "real" stuff (like mine). also since you're here, want a new avatar? the hp hovercraft forums brand is confusing the hell out of me now that you're in the 'pos too
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Jun 20, 2018 23:25
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OldAlias posted:most cis people won’t date trans or gender non-conforming people. the wording is very clear about intention. their post is in response to a particular, singular post, not implications about bi people as a whole or what that word means to them This. It's not safe to assume a cis bi person has even thought about the existence of trans people in any real way and a trans person could easily end up in a dangerous situation on a date with a bi person. That is not a generalization about bi people, I also don't think every cis het is gonna murder a trans person but the ambiguity of what "hetero" or "bi" means to the individual introduces danger. "pan" was created as a term specifically so people could announce their sexuality in a way they eliminates that ambiguity. Like, sorry if a gender hipster coopted the term and made you very mad online, but it's a real and good term. Like, I'll stop caring about that sort of distinction the moment trans women stop getting murdered by panicked cis people. Until then, the refinement of the language of sexuality is critical to keeping my brothers, sisters, and siblings safe.
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Jun 20, 2018 23:55
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SolTerrasa posted:I'm another of the bi men who feel they barely belong in any queer space, and I respect the hell out of you in particular. I would love it if you could elaborate on the "obviously made up stuff", because I suspect I feel the same way but struggle with drawing lines between that stuff and the "real" stuff (like mine). Graysexual is the biggie right now. I think "demisexual" is another term those people use. There's also some really insidious attempts to associate furries and otherkin with queer identities. I've also seen some people try to tie crossdressing to sexual orientation as an overture to saying that trans women are gay male cross dressers. In reality there's lots of cis het cross dressers who do it purely for kink. Like someone up thread said, there's a lot of people who try to describe their particular type of being a normal rear end cis het person as queer (e.g. "I don't do one night stands, I'm queer" or "I only gently caress people I'm in love with, I'm queer") because the cis het white person desperately wants to feel "special" in any way and is jealous of all the (negative) attention minorities get. I'm loving shocked incels haven't tried to claim queer identity. Bi people absolutely belong in queer spaces and it's loving bullshit that people try to gate check them just because their current partnership is hetero. It grosses me out when I see bi friends get pushed with poo poo like "but what way do you really lean?" and such. Pls be welcome here. Ps: I didn't see your name at first and almost instinctively started yelling at you to gtfo because of your av, lol.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:02
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PS phone posting so pls don't jump all over typos. People love to do that to me for some reason.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:03
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what kind of nerd gets mad about spelling in yospos
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Jun 21, 2018 00:06
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keyboard vomit posted:what kind of nerd gets mad about spelling in yospos The kind with an agenda. I'm very divisive, lol.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:09
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yeah i’m not trying to start poo poo. this is a place for friends
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Jun 21, 2018 00:16
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keyboard vomit posted:what kind of nerd gets mad about spelling in yospos Improbable Lobster posted:Actually, it's Canada Geese. They don't have citizenship.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:18
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Lmao
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Jun 21, 2018 00:20
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i'm basically pansexual but i just say "bi" 90% of the time just because the other person is more likely to actually know what that means (to the degree that i actually consider it any of their business in the first place)
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Jun 21, 2018 00:33
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What is this gray stuff i keep on seeing anyway?
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Jun 21, 2018 00:37
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jit bull transpile posted:This. It's not safe to assume a cis bi person has even thought about the existence of trans people in any real way and a trans person could easily end up in a dangerous situation on a date with a bi person. what you're describing is a cis/trans divide. it's very real, but i just don't see it as relevant to the bi/pan discussion you're trying to map it onto, especially since the same issue you're describing exists in strictly homosexual and heterosexual spaces with cis/trans hookups. you keep saying things like "eliminating ambiguity" and "refinement of the language", but like, we just had some people post here saying "well i guess i would qualify as pan, but i say bi anyway". there's no refinement! it's just the same thing, but as like a secret trans handshake this time. and while i do respect how the evolution of language lets you instantly identify how outdated somebody's views are (easy example: "trans" vs. "transgendered" vs. "transexual"), i just don't like that pansexuality as a term is so often used as a bludgeon against people who identify as bi. i mean, you may not have intended to generalize about bi people, but: jit bull transpile posted:it's just meant to be linguistically more inclusive than "bisexual" since the prefix "bi" can sort of imply that there are 2 and only 2 genders, and sometimes it's not completely clear if a person who says they're bisexual will murder you if your sexy girl bod has a dick attached. this is totally insulting!!
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Jun 21, 2018 00:38
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ate all the Oreos posted:also since you're here, want a new avatar? the hp hovercraft forums brand is confusing the hell out of me now that you're in the 'pos too Yeah, uh, sorry about that, I made the mistake of having a friend computer avatar back when that was stymie's forums brand and someone bought this to gently caress with me. Or to gently caress with HPH I guess. I think the joke has run its course since it's been a long time now
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Jun 21, 2018 00:45
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iospace posted:What is this gray stuff i keep on seeing anyway? gray asexuality is, iirc, mostly teenagers going "i'm not horny 24/7 so i must be asexual in some way" i could be thinking of something else though
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Jun 21, 2018 00:48
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Improbable Lobster posted:gray asexuality is, iirc, mostly teenagers going "i'm not horny 24/7 so i must be asexual in some way" Yeah, it's that. They are literally trying to describe "only attracted to people I'm in love with" as a sexual orientation.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:55
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Venuz Patrol posted:what you're describing is a cis/trans divide. it's very real, but i just don't see it as relevant to the bi/pan discussion you're trying to map it onto, especially since the same issue you're describing exists in strictly homosexual and heterosexual spaces with cis/trans hookups. Forgive my bluntness, but if you found that quote insulting I think you are hard-core projecting some stuff from elsewhere in your life onto what I said. Also "transgendered" was never a preferred term.
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Jun 21, 2018 00:56
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"transgendered" isn't a word used by anyone other than those who are ignorant
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Jun 21, 2018 00:58
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jit bull transpile posted:I've also seen some people try to tie crossdressing to sexual orientation as an overture to saying that trans women are gay male cross dressers. quote:I'm loving shocked incels haven't tried to claim queer identity.  Be shocked no longer! Everything is horrible and we are all doomed.
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Jun 21, 2018 01:02
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Peeny Cheez posted:
Oh God please tell me it's a joke!
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Jun 21, 2018 01:04
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jit bull transpile posted:Forgive my bluntness, but if you found that quote insulting I think you are hard-core projecting some stuff from elsewhere in your life onto what I said. it's because you dumped trans panic, a trait of cisgender people, at the feet of bisexuality instead. i can't be any more clear than that. you're barking up the wrong tree
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Jun 21, 2018 01:11
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jit bull transpile posted:Oh God please tell me it's a joke! Venuz Patrol posted:it's because you dumped trans panic, a trait of cisgender people, at the feet of bisexuality instead. i can't be any more clear than that. you're barking up the wrong tree jit bull transpile posted:it's not completely clear if Sun's getting real low. Sun's going down. Ellie Crabcakes fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Jun 21, 2018 |
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Jun 21, 2018 01:13
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Venuz Patrol posted:it's because you dumped trans panic, a trait of cisgender people, at the feet of bisexuality instead. i can't be any more clear than that. you're barking up the wrong tree You are again, thinking I'm talking about all bi people when what I said is that the label "bi" does nothing to tell me about whether a cis person acknowledges or respects trans people in their dating choices. If you read that as "bi people are all trans murderers" you are basically Kramering into this conversation concern trolling. This is my last response to you on this topic and if you don't knock it off with the accusations I'll be talking to the mods.
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Jun 21, 2018 01:20
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jit bull transpile posted:I see it in gbs a lot and if you correct them they fall back to making it about "graysexuals" and trying really hard to conflate the two. and they're still really mad about tumblr for some reason. just leave the weird queer teens alone! they're figuring themselves out. Fwiw I will not ever defend GBS, but there's a part of me that does decidedly loathe Tumblr for how it, intentionally and unintentionally, muddies these waters if you're trying to figure your poo poo out and whatever you take as the first "correct" result on some searches might color all of how you see some things until you learn words have actual definitions later or that you've been basing your identity on some poo poo a weird ego lord made to puff up their own petty empire (HI JDR) or... I fuckin' hate it. I hate that half of my job sometimes is just an uphill fight against the stupid poo poo people learned wrong
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