Salty Josh posted:

Seinfeld and that show Friends is overrated.

It's all about Married with Children

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't want no scrubs.
A scrub is a girl who who has only seen 1967's Son of Godzilla.

Salty Josh posted:

Seinfeld and that show Friends is overrated.

It's all about Married with Children

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Beachcomber posted:

Seinfeld engenders far too much fremdschamen to be entertaining.

Caganer posted:

fremdschamen, schadenfreude, maskenfreiheit - German has so many good words. Not as many as Dutch but close

Cowslips Warren posted:

I will never forget my first nanny job, where one of the mothers asked me how I would punish their daughter if she acted out.

Daughter being six months old.

I remember sitting there, staring at her, and slowly saying, "She's half a year old, what is she going to do where she'd be punished?"

Apparently some of the other applicants had ranged from swatting the hand to yelling to a swift slap on the butt.

For six months old.

dudeness posted:

Now if someone didn't get a 3rd Rock From The Sun Reference? Hooooooo boy!







I would understand completely because it wasn't a very popular show, but I would be somewhat disappointed.

Salty Josh posted:

You never dip your pen in company ink.

Drunk Nerds posted:

Third rock had a great premise that was ruined by milquetoast jokes and plots.
Seinfeld also turned me off cuz it was all assholes, but I see why it had a great following and did a lot for sitcoms.

Pick posted:

3rd rock was a totally perfectly generic sitcom tho

Caganer posted:

how i met your mother is friends, but not homophobic and thus good

Depressio111117 posted:

If a dude made a 3rd Rock reference on a date it’d be an instant panty-dropper.

I’m not even sure if I’m kidding.

Caganer posted:

how i met your mother is friends, but not homophobic and thus good

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My girlfriend [24F] dumped me because I [26] wanted evidence of her lab results. Want her back. Please help.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Frasier I liked as a kid and more as an adult

tactlessbastard posted:

gently caress yeah

Coohoolin posted:

HIMYM is trash and promotes date rape, misogyny, and makes excuses for being a terrible manchild.

Seinfeld is the best show.

HIJK posted:

wh...what did she say in reply?

Cowslips Warren posted:

I got hired. And I'm the girl's auntie and her brother, who I also nannied, his godmother now.

Though defeating babies in single combat would be easy. Oh no you rolled from your front to your back and am scared! I WIN!

My Imaginary GF posted:

Growing up, the family liked to purchase 1-2 new cars/boats/motorhomes a year.

Fartbox posted:

It’s a shame it’s relentlessly unfunny

ArbitraryC posted:

Oh my god this made me remember the lady who was so upset with her SO for watching porn that she started to furiously masturbate to porn in common rooms as he was getting home. Eventually he tried reading her a letter/speech about how the situation was making him feel and she just kept on flicking it but started howling louder and louder.

chitoryu12 posted:

Oh and there was an update later where she seemed to suddenly shift to normalcy, only to start ranting like crazy in the kitchen and trying to chop off her own boobs with a knife or something like that until he called the cops.

quote:

We are both in our mid-20's. My girlfriend comes from a super religious household in which she was told constantly that porn and even masturbation is sinful and will get her sent to hell. Recently, she was on my laptop and found some videos I had saved (yes, pornographic ones) and apparently copied them to her computer. I first found this out when I came home one day to her masturbating at her computer, legs completely spread, to one of these videos. While she does this, she does not respond to me when I talk to her or even turn her head. She looks furious as she does this. She has been timing it so that it has happened almost every day since I've come back from work for the past two weeks. She will not hold a conversation with me about it after the fact. This is a girl who would always tell me she never masturbated and that it was sinful. Please help.

TLDR: Confusion

quote:

It has been exactly one week since I first posted (link here) about this difficult problem with my girlfriend, and I figured you all deserved an update due to how much you helped me.

A lot of your advice (and I did read and ponder every word) swirled in the back of my head constantly, but I was initially having a tough time accepting my situation for what you all said it was. That this wasn't healthy, that she was crazy, that I was a wuss for taking it, that we had no chance -- I hated the pessimistic reality of it all and I wanted it to be wrong. I wanted to keep faith in us. After two more nights of coming home to her doing the same thing again (and me trying to gently get her to stop with several "hey"s, waving my hand in front of her face, and even whistling to no avail), I finally faced how much I was lying to myself about the true severity of the communication rift between us and how much we lacked the ability to connect on a level that the most basic relationship should have. And I went to sleep in a separate room (I couldn't handle "lying" any longer by sleeping in the same bed as her as if nothing was happening) feeling physically sick.

The third night is when I finally got her attention. I didn't yell at her, I didn't bring her family/friends home with me, I didn't edit the videos to surprise her with my face, I didn't join in with her. I just stood next to her and started reading her a letter which I had taken the time to prepare off and on throughout my work day. Her usually angered expression looked like it actually started to turn sad (maybe even regretful?) as I told her I loved her, and cared for her, and wanted nothing more than for us to work. I even included a poem that her and I had made together about our relationship during better times. She never stopped moving her hands and staring forward as I read, but I did notice tears start to come from her eyes and I started to get teary too. When my letter concluded, I asked her if she wanted to finally stop and she responded by screaming and turning up the volume of the porn, so I took that as her needing time to herself and left.

The next night, I was pleasantly surprised to find her not at the computer, but instead back to her normal hobbies. She still would not acknowledge that she had done anything at all, but this was a huge improvement that I can only imagine getting better as time goes on. Reddit, I think this problem was solved and I could not have done it without you. Thank you so much for your advice and willingness to help to the fullest. You have helped strengthen my relationship with this wonderful girl and I can't imagine life in a more beautiful way.

TL;DR: Problem nearly solved, things only getting better due to your advice. Thank you so much.

quote:

I don't know how many of you will remember me, but I'm one who had this problem and this subsequent problem (which I at the time didn't realize was a problem). I am happy to say that this psycho bitch is no longer my girlfriend, and if things go as I want them to, no longer in my life at all.

Things were going really well, everything just fine and dandy, for over a month after I read her my heartfelt letter. Yet again, however, your comments were swirling in the back of my mind and it wasn't enough for me that this girl I shared a home with was smiling, bubbly, happy, back to 'normal', whatever -- because she never spoke about what she did. I didn't bring it up myself because I thought she would come to me and maybe even apologize about it when she was ready, but nope, she just hummed around the house like some sort of innocent princess.

Well, recently she was cooking dinner and I was just sitting at the table staring at her, thinking about everything and feeling my blood boil. I didn't understand how she could act this way, how she could just do something so deranged and then cover it up. And I realized with the way things were going, she was never going to acknowledge her behavior or take responsibility for her actions. So I finally said something, but I hid my rage by speaking slowly and calmly: "So what was that thing with you masturbating?"

I realized it was another pretend-she-didn't-hear-me moment for her as she just stood still for a while in silence, so I sighed and said something like "We'll just talk about it whenever you're comfortable." Apparently that set her off. She opened up the kitchen drawer to show me a photo of an actress that I apparently had complimented during a movie while screaming "You find her attractive? You find her attractive?" and pointing at her face. I started screaming over her "so what if I find her attractive" over and over until, yes, she got a knife. I immediately backed away in the sinking realization that she might actually be crazy enough to stab me, but she then pointed the knife at herself, or more specifically her vagina, and said she "didn't even need it" because I "don't appreciate it" and "no one has genitals in the afterlife". I didn't want to be around for it to escalate further so I booked out of there while she hurled insults at me. Right away I called her mom, since her parents live very closeby, but her mom didn't even let me finish explaining before she was screaming at me over the phone saying she "knew what I did" and that I was a "Satan shitplane" so I hung up and had to ignore her literally 37 calls afterward.

Long story short, all of my contact with this girl from now on will be through writing if I can control it. I'm staying with a friend now while this stuff gets sorted. I'm not really sure what my next step will be, but you guys deserve a thank you for all of your advice as well as an apology from me for not seeing the light sooner. Hopefully this will be the last time I update or even think about this chick and her hosed up family. Bye.

TLDR: Girlfriend is now ex-girlfriend due to insanity, and her mom is just as bad.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

Time for a repost!

Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?



[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?



Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

Time for a repost!

Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?



[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?



Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point

quote:

she then pointed the knife at herself, or more specifically her vagina, and said she "didn't even need it" because I "don't appreciate it" and "no one has genitals in the afterlife".

coronatae posted:

“Satan shitplane” is still my favorite insult

quote:

My last post talks about how my dad and mom bully my boyfriend. I've been keeping my boyfriend away because of it.

Okay here's what happened. Mom made a huge dinner Wednesday night and said she wished she had more people to enjoy it. I took the opportunity to get this over with. I called up my boyfriend and told him to come over. Boyfriend showed up, we sat at the table to eat. Here's the conversation that followed.

Dad: "Well look who decided to finally show."

Me: "Dad, I'm tired of this."

Dad: "Tired of what, I'm just kidding, gosh!"

Boyfriend cut in and shut it all down. It was amazing. I thought I was going to do most of the talking but here boyfriend does this wonderful thing. My parents faces were a mix of shock and sadness.

Boyfriend: "No it's not joking. It's not just kidding around. It hurts when you single me out. It hurts when you both laugh at me. Why? What could I have possibly done to deserve this? I've treated you all, including your daughter, with respect and this is the thanks I get. I've been staying away because I always get talked down to. Yes I'm a landscaper, yes I have anxiety, yes I'm human and I don't need you both to act like I'm not."