/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Penguissimo: Apr 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

A 35 year old man texting a 13 year old girl every day.

This guy's post history has a ton of Bitcoin poo poo so it seems pretty likely that either he's the texter or he's jealous that the girl isn't paying attention to him instead.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:04

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# ? May 29, 2024 14:51

AmiYumi: Oct 10, 2005; I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

The total lack of details makes me wonder if that wasn�t written by said 35-yo, he got found out, and now he�s trying to see if he�s in �tut tut� trouble or �flee to Mexico� trouble

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:06

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

AmiYumi posted:

The total lack of details makes me wonder if that wasn�t written by said 35-yo, he got found out, and now he�s trying to see if he�s in �tut tut� trouble or �flee to Mexico� trouble

That seems the likeliest scenario, yes.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:06

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

"He has told her his deepest secrets that he hasn't even told his wife. "

Is the telling quote, how would you even know if you weren't one of the parties?

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:07

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Penguissimo posted:

This guy's post history has a ton of Bitcoin poo poo so it seems pretty likely that either he's the texter or he's jealous that the girl isn't paying attention to him instead.

sadly a large chunk of legaladvice seems to be pedos/rapists trying to learn how to pedo/rape better. there was a post that indirectly led to the closing of /r/incels that basically was like "hurr durr if a woman claims i raped her she needs more proof than here word right" and was incredibly obviously plotting to rape someone and say she made it up

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:08

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Admiral Ray posted:

That kid will be lucky to survive the birthing process and needs to get an abortion.

Jesus. Wasn't there a really depressing r/relationships post from waaaaaaay back by a 25 year old 'widower' with a 10-year old kid? His girlfriend got pregnant at 14 or 15, her parents refused to let her get an abortion and she died giving birth because her pelvis wasn't wide enough. Even if it wasn't reddit, that story made me feel sick.

In less soul-suckingly depressing news, a friend of mine posted this on facebook, and I'm wondering if they were secretly the OP of that 'I embarrassed myself by asking where my boyfriend keeps his poop knife' classic:

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:40

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

LadyPictureShow posted:

that 'I embarrassed myself by asking where my boyfriend keeps his poop knife' classic:

...go on...

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:43

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

I was off a little on the details:

I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife.

quote:

My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your rear end and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

"My what?"

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my hosed up family with their hosed up bowels. FML.

I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:47

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Should I [26F] be worried that my soon to be husband [26M] almost hit me?Relationships (self.relationships)

quote:

My soon to be husband and I are very close. However, we have been fighting a lot lately and I�m worried about the future of our relationship.

Some background information about my boyfriend and his cousin: a few months ago one of his cousins wanted desperately to go to a strip club and I told him I�m not comfortable with this. Just to clarify, it�s not that I don�t trust my boyfriend - it�s just that this particular cousin has tried to get my boyfriend to cheat on me before. This happened six months ago and my boyfriend told me he didn�t go to the strip club that night. Two weeks ago during an argument he admitted to going that night and says he couldn�t tell me because of my reaction. To make it clear, he said he didn�t want to go but also didn�t want to ditch his cousin .

I forgave this and we moved on. We recently went on a trip with his family (including his shady cousin). My boyfriend disappeared with his cousin for a few hours while I stayed at the hotel. He says they were running some errands and I do believe him BUT I really don�t trust his cousin. I�ll admit I was upset that he left me alone in this hotel in a foreign country with his family. Also, I was still upset about the strip club incident.

When he got back to the hotel we fought a bit. I realize I was a bit irrational because they only went out to do errands but something just didn�t sit right. He left me alone with his family to go with his cousin who he knows I don�t like. This guy actually offered to get my boyfriend laid by a prostitute two years ago. My boyfriend got very frustrated and was yelling and he raised his hand on me.... when the impact happened it was very light and only stung a little on my arm.

Should I be worried? This doesn�t seem healthy and I�m having a lot of anxiety. Breaking up with him hasn�t been an option because we have been together for almost a decade now.

Reddit, am I in an abusive relationship?

TLDR: I overreacted to a situation and my boyfriend lightly hit me. Is this abuse?

# ? Jun 30, 2018 20:54

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

COMRADES posted:

My point was more that I've never once seen cops actually interrogate anyone as to the source of some alcohol they brought to a party nor would "so and so bought it for me" constitute any kind of legal evidence whatsoever and they wouldn't really pursue it. Like sure if there are adults there and wasted 11 year olds running around that's one thing but a high school party?

That said they're gonna polygraph him when he gets through the academy and if he's this nervous about it he's gonna freeze up on the 'have you committed any felonies" question so he better just not. He should explain that to his friend though.

I'm guessing this is a varies greatly region to region thing. Cops in my home town absolutely would try to gently caress over every single teen they caught as long as nobody was on the sports team or they knew someone's dad.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:05

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

LabyaMynora posted:

I'm not a cop, not even a "Blue Lives Matter" weirdo. I'm just an old guy. I don't revere cops, and I'd give the same advice to someone who was on the cusp of being a teacher, lawyer, or anything else where the job you invested in could be taken away for relatively minor misconduct.

Maybe it's just me, but my late teens/early 20s was the time in my life when all my "friends from way back" revealed themselves to be petty, lovely people in different ways, and the only reason they were still in my social circle was because of history.

I think the way she's reacting to him not buying the alcohol for her betrays the fact that she'd narc on him for no reason at all - just to have a fleeting moment of control where she could negatively impact another person's life.

I apologize. I've learned a valuable lesson to never attribute to authoritarianism what can be explained by gooniness.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:05

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

Breaking up with him hasn’t been an option because we have been together for almost a decade now.

Oh, well in that case I guess you better suck it up.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:06

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Caganer posted:

Should I [26F] be worried that my soon to be husband [26M] almost hit me?Relationships (self.relationships)

He hit you and he is 100% cheating on you. :sever:

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:06

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Pastor's son [22M] broke into media department office and stole my [24F] camera and related equipment. I'm expected to replace it because he "can't afford to buy a new camera and feed his two daughters"

quote:

I'm sorry for the length! I'm just really confused and emotional right now. tl:dr at the bottom.

Background: I volunteer as a videographer and photographer at a local church. All video and photo equipment is paid for out of my own pocket, and I do not receive any donations for my equipment or expenses. Which is fine, they do good work in a bad neighborhood, and I'm happy to lend my amateur services for free as a hobbyist. I've known the pastors' family for a very long time (17 years), and they have provided me with food and a place to stay numerous times during my turbulent childhood.

The media department has a windowed office within the church. There are patterns on the windows so you can't see inside, but it's common knowledge to everyone but visitors that our equipment is in there. There are two keys, one of which I have, and the other belongs to my partner.

A couple of weeks ago, the pastor's son asked me if he could borrow my camera. He said that it's "just shooting a video, not that hard". I declined, so he asked me if I could "shoot a music video for him" He said he'd compensate me and I agreed, knowing that once he realized how much work was actually needed he would reconsider. Anyway, we decided to do it that weekend, and I told him to call me during the week so I could verify my availability, and that Friday was my birthday, so it would have to be before or after then.

I hear nothing from him the entire week. On Friday around 5am, he called me five times. I responded with a text saying that it was my birthday, and that I would be available the next day. He responded "Alright".

The following Sunday I go into the office and notice that there's a piece missing from my DSLR. My small RODE microphone is also missing. The settings are changed to auto and the picture style is set to monochrome, which is weird because I never use them.

At first I brush it off, thinking that I lost the stuff and just can't remember where I put it, and that maybe I was messing with the settings and lost the pieces myself. It's not likely, but my memory is pretty bad, so I let it go. Plus, the booth was locked and the door intact, so I had no reason to believe that someone broke in.

During the next week I lost my keys, so I was unable to do any volunteer work. I came in on Sunday to let them know, and the Pastor walks up to me and hands me my camera. She goes "the office was left open, so I borrowed the camera. [Son] wants one so I wanted to see the model".

Okay. Never mind that she's seen the camera hundreds of times, but okay. Sure. So I go over to the office that was "left open" to find that it's locked. Weird. Maybe my partner came during the week and left it open.

So I let my partner know later on in the week and they go put it back in the office and locked it behind them. They cleaned up my "mess" (as they put it), and also believed that I must have left the door unlocked.

Fast forward to this Sunday. I notice that the leftmost window has screws missing. The window is loose, and I'm able to pull it away from the wall and reach my hand inside. That's when I notice that my camera is also missing. I call my partner, and they say to take picture evidence. We confront the pastor, who admits that it was her son that took it, and that she was covering for him. I ask about my camera and the missing equipment, and she says that I should have kept it locked up better (?!) and that I should have come to her when I first noticed something weird. Whatever, but okay. But he still has to replace the loving camera right? Or at least give back the one he stole? Wrong. Apparently he has "two daughters to feed, so he can't afford to buy a thousand dollar camera" and she "doesn't know where it is or what he did with it".

At this point, I have of course told them that I'm done volunteering for them. But I am torn about whether I should pursue this legally because of everything their family did for me in the past. I feel so betrayed and worthless. How could they treat me and my things with so little respect? They are supposed to be better than this.

tl:dr pastors son stole my camera, they don't care. Their family took care of me when I had nowhere to go, so I'm torn about pursuing this. Advice needed.

Edit: It was suggested that I add this to my post as it may clear up why I am so reluctant to involve the police:

Among other things, when I was 16, I was homeless and the pastor's family took me on for a year. They fed me and gave me a bed free of charge, and the Pastor stayed up late to make sure I had a hot meal to take to work every single day. With the exception of this incident, they have been very involved and concerned with my well being since I was a child. I feel extremely betrayed, but I am also not comfortable taking action (that involves the police) against them.

Edit 2: I'm really surprised this got so much of a response, and unfortunately although there was more sound advice than not, I'm even more confused than when I started. The overwhelming consensus seems to be to go to the police, which I am still uncomfortable with although willing to at this point. From what I'm reading, though, it seems that notifying the pastor ahead of time to see if we can find a better solution is illegal on my part, and falls under the category of extortion.

I've decided that I'm just going to go to the free legal aid office near my job, as I can at the very least get free counseling in regards to this issue before I decide to involve the police. Thank you so, so much for your support, r/relationships I was really feeling alone and betrayed about this, and many of your answers cleared a lot up for me.

There's no way I can fit all of the details and reasoning behind my reluctance to burn this particular bridge in this one post, so I'll just say that there's more to our relationship, many gray areas, and more sensitive issues that go into this. There's no way I can respond to all of you, but I still want to thank those of you who responded. I appreciate all of the advice given (and believe me, I've read every one).

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:30

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Haifisch posted:

Pastor's son [22M] broke into media department office and stole my [24F] camera and related equipment. I'm expected to replace it because he "can't afford to buy a new camera and feed his two daughters"

I realize its very hard to confront your molester but you should probably press charges.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:39

ditty bout my clitty: May 28, 2011; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Caganer posted:

"women aren't funny" is a well documented sexist untruth

The hilarious part will hit you once you find out what documented means

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:40

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Haifisch posted:

Pastor's son [22M] broke into media department office and stole my [24F] camera and related equipment. I'm expected to replace it because he "can't afford to buy a new camera and feed his two daughters"

quote:

From what I'm reading, though, it seems that notifying the pastor ahead of time to see if we can find a better solution is illegal on my part, and falls under the category of extortion.

What?
Saying "compensate me for the stuff you stole from me so I won't have to go to the cops" isn't extortion. Neither would saying "here's the money for a new camera my drug addict son stole, please let's just forget this" be bribery. This is like when people think any expression of conditional disapproval with consequences is an abusive ultimatum.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 21:51

School Nickname: Apr 23, 2010; *fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*

hawowanlawow posted:

just a quick lol at the drinking age being 21 still

Also having a late, quick lol, because my old campus with a drinking age of 18 has four bars on-campus, three off-licenses nearby, another two bars five minutes walk off-campus, with multiple nightclubs 15 mins via bus. You'd see walks of shame between the dorms and similar evidence of debauchery every Wednesday and Friday morning, but at least you could get a proper full irish and a pot of coffee for �4.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 22:13

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

I went to a campus bar in Canada and it was pretty placid. More like a pub. Later found out this was the undergrad bar as well. Weird how when you let people drink at 19 (and younger w/ parental supervision) people don't act like animals when drunk.

Back when I hosteled I went into a few pubs that would pretend they had a 21 limit if they heard American accents. I found this out when I went to one in London with a group of Australians, had a (tranquil) time then brought some other people (mostly American) and they were all "oh we are 21+" until they finally caved and admitted they just don't like American college students but can't say "no americans" because of human rights law

# ? Jun 30, 2018 22:52

Martin BadClixx: Jul 14, 2012; ^{dada stijl}

E: oops wrong thread

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:01

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Is it inappropriate to send �apology flowers� and an apology letter to a woman at work? (self.dating)

quote:

Recently broke off a relationship and didn�t feel great about how I handled it. I basically told the woman after 3 months that communication wasn�t there and felt as if I always had to initiate so staying a couple wasn�t something I was going to do anymore. A week passed, hadn�t heard anything so I decided to arrange for a �friendship and peace offering� flower bouquet(no red roses or anything) and typed up an apology letter that was from the heart. She received the gift and lost her mind on me, told me that it was extremely inappropriate to do that and that she never wanted to speak to me again, she did confirm that she had NOT read the letter yet when she was firing off those messages which I honestly feel would have changed her opinion on why I decided to send her the flowers and brought clarity to the last couple months of our friendship/relationship. Was it wrong for me to do this? Did she overreact? I did a bit of research online before deciding to send flowers and mostly all the responses I read thought it was a good idea, plus. other woman at my office get flowers all the time so it�s not like this sort of this is unheard of where I work.. she said to not contact her anymore and I don�t plan on doing so however this week at work I can tell that she is extremely depressed, I�m sure it�s because of how she overreacted at first, told me to piss off then read that heart felt letter I wrote to her and wants to apologize but doesn�t have the guts to do so. What do you all think? I want to hear from ladies to see why this was so wrong for me to do. I indicated in the final message that I sent to her that �I was amazed she felt this way and all I wanted to accomplish with the flower and letters was to be an adult, admit my wrongs and bring closure to the whole situation�

geez, other women (who are in relationships) get flowers at work all the time, why is this woman (who I dumped) so mad when I send her flowers? so illogical, amirite reddit?

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:16

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

What?
Saying "compensate me for the stuff you stole from me so I won't have to go to the cops" isn't extortion. Neither would saying "here's the money for a new camera my drug addict son stole, please let's just forget this" be bribery. This is like when people think any expression of conditional disapproval with consequences is an abusive ultimatum.

"Pay me or I'll report your crimes" is legally extortion; whether or not the DA's gonna press charges in this particular situation is another story altogether but any lawyer would strongly advise you against exposing yourself like that, and so would a fake internet lawyer. "Compensation" is a civil-court matter, you can totally go "pay me back for the camera or I'll sue" but you'll never loving get your money.

Caganer posted:

I went to a campus bar in Canada and it was pretty placid. More like a pub. Later found out this was the undergrad bar as well. Weird how when you let people drink at 19 (and younger w/ parental supervision) people don't act like animals when drunk.

Back when I hosteled I went into a few pubs that would pretend they had a 21 limit if they heard American accents. I found this out when I went to one in London with a group of Australians, had a (tranquil) time then brought some other people (mostly American) and they were all "oh we are 21+" until they finally caved and admitted they just don't like American college students but can't say "no americans" because of human rights law

yeeeah citing Austrialians isn't a great case for "if you let people drink before 21 they become able to handle their booze"

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Jun 30, 2018

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:26

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

This is like when people think any expression of conditional disapproval with consequences is an abusive ultimatum.

an ultimatum is abuse

quote:

Abusers often threaten their victims with ultimatums: �If you do x, then I will leave you.� Victims are constantly made to feel fear for the possibility of being left, neglected, or ignored.

quote:

Ultimatums or threats are a means of *control* and are typically given when the behavior in question hasn�t occurred yet. The person giving the ultimatum or issuing the threat is very invested in the outcome of the situation and in controlling the other person�s behavior.

Consequences (as part of boundary-setting) are a means of *protection* Consequences are set forth when the behavior in question has already happened. The victim is attempting to protect themselves from the hurtful behavior recurring again. (S)he lets go of the outcome because (s)he isn�t interested in control, only in self-protection. The primary objective is only self-protection, NOT controlling the other person. The other person can continue to behave as they choose, however with a boundary, you have let them know that you will not stick around to tolerate it.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:35

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

You know, that's the first time I read the famous poop knife story and was expecting something very different.

Also, goddamn it I clicked on "last" again and missed like 100 pages of thread I needed to catch up on. I hope I didn't miss anything good.

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:36

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [28 M] am attracted to my stylist [30 F], but she thinks I'm gay

quote:

So, yeah, I've got myself into a bit of a pickle here.....

Some background. I fall somewhere in the middle of the Kinsey scale, neither strictly straight nor strictly gay. I suppose this would make me bisexual, but I never have liked this label (or labels in general).

I came out to my family back in 2014. Not wanting to get into all the details, I decided I would just tell them I wasn�t straight. My family is very supportive of the LGBT community, so, as expected, there were really no issues with the whole coming out process, at least in the sense that no one was antagonistic or unsupportive. However, a few months pass by, and it becomes clear to me there was a bit of a miscommunication as my family is now openly identifying me as gay - not �not straight� but gay, in the strictest sense. I�m annoyed by the situation, but I choose not to confront anyone on it. (I guess I had the feeling that if I did, they would think I was going back into the closet, so to speak, and I would have felt compelled to get into the nitty-gritty of my sexual life - no thanks!) I would later try to explain to my mom that I was not, in fact, exclusively attracted to men. Her response: �But� once you�re gay, you�re gay.� I completely resigned at that point. But, whatever, it�s not like my family�s misconception about me could have any consequences on my romantic life�

Fast forward to the beginning of this year. I was on my way to California to give a couple of talks at a conference, and I needed a good haircut before heading out. I was getting fed up with the place I had been going to, so my mom suggests I go to her stylist, B. I meet B for the first time, and I feel an immediate physical attraction. We chat during my cut, and we seem to get along on a personal level. Great, right? Unfortunately, being my mom�s stylist, B is under the impression that I�m gay. And though the topic has come up casually and tangentially a couple of times during our conversations, I have never made any real attempt to clarify the issue - probably due to my embarrassment over the whole situation.

Under normal circumstances, I would probably just laugh at the mess I�ve got myself into and maybe try to convince myself that, even if she knew I wasn�t gay, she probably wouldn�t be into me like that, anyway. While it�s definitely easy to laugh at the situation, it is becoming more difficult with every visit to shrug off thoughts that the feelings might be reciprocal. Here�s why:

* My haircuts consistently take in excess of 1.5-2 hours - about 20-30 minutes for the cut; the remainder of the time for visiting. (And, believe me, I�m not holding her hostage.)
* She�s mentioned on multiple occasions that I�m �a good looking guy" and regularly calls me "brilliant."
* She�s told me she wants to visit me (halfway across the country) once I start my PhD in the Fall. (I think she�s kidding, but it�s honestly kind of hard to tell.)
* My mom says B �gushes� over me during her appointments; my grandma, who also sees B, tells me how much B �adores� me. Adding to this, I frequently get the sense that B is looking at me in a way that reflects these sentiments - or maybe I'm just reading into the looks too much.
* Has suggested we hang out several times. (I never follow up out of fear of making the situation worse than it already is.)
* During my last visit, she told me, �If you weren�t gay, I would totally want to marry you.� She then said something like, �Oh my gosh, I think I'm becoming like H.� (H is my friend who had confessed he was in love with me a few years ago.)
* Etc.

Now, I�m notoriously oblivious when it comes to picking up signals, but it definitely seems like she might be expressing, at the very least, some surface level attraction, right? Or do you think she�s just doing the hair stylist thing and being nice? And, worse yet, is she acting like this only because she thinks I�m gay? Assuming she�s actually attracted to me, what the hell do I do? I mean, I would obviously like to clear the air, but I�m afraid the time for that has passed; if I were to say anything now, she might feel like I�ve violated her trust - even though that really wasn�t ever my intention. Then again, a part of me suspects that she has already picked up on the fact that I�m not a Kinsey 6 - and, for all I know, she might have already picked up on my attraction to her and is just waiting to see if I�ll act on it.

Anyway, I'm really not sure what to do at this point. Any help would be appreciated!

**TL;DR;**: Came out to family as "not straight" several years ago. My aversion to labels and my inability to deal with confrontation has inadvertently caused my family to assume that I'm strictly gay. My stylist, whom I met through my mom, is also under the same impression as far as I know, though in reality I'm actually very attracted to her - and I suspect the feelings might be mutual. What to do?

Haifisch posted:

I [28 M] am attracted to my stylist [30 F], but she thinks I'm gay

put these thoughts to rest, as a phd student you are streets ahead of some stylist. maybe hit her up for some thanksgiving sex when you come home, but you need to set proper expectations. you don't invite gently caress buddies to drive out and visit you, you text them at 10pm the night before thanksgiving

Caganer fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Jun 30, 2018

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:44

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

oh yeah ty for the poop knife story, our modern day Odyssey

# ? Jun 30, 2018 23:59

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

This is a few pages back, but doesn't the 20 year old woman have any other friends that are 21? Like, at least one that is not going to become a cop? At ages 16-20 I could always find someone to buy beer. It's not that hard.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 00:06

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Hellblazer187 posted:

This is a few pages back, but doesn't the 20 year old woman have any other friends that are 21? Like, at least one that is not going to become a cop? At ages 16-20 I could always find someone to buy beer. It's not that hard.

my RA bought it for me :shrug:

Caganer fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Jul 1, 2018

# ? Jul 1, 2018 00:14

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

almightyerin posted:

You know, that's the first time I read the famous poop knife story and was expecting something very different.

Also, goddamn it I clicked on "last" again and missed like 100 pages of thread I needed to catch up on. I hope I didn't miss anything good.

You did miss Pick (further) outing herself as a terrible person by saying hitting your spouse is cool and good and that not wanting to be hit is emotional manipulation :razz:

# ? Jul 1, 2018 00:15

Jimbozig: Sep 30, 2003; I like sharing and ice cream and animals.

I haven't been able to keep up with this thread, but was there ever an update to that story about the roommate filing official complaints of racism and harassment because her roommates listened to Drake? For some reason, I found that one particularly funny and wanted to know how far it would go.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 00:37

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

I suppose this would make me bisexual, but I never have liked this label (or labels in general).

quote:

However, a few months pass by, and it becomes clear to me there was a bit of a miscommunication as my family is now openly identifying me as gay - not “not straight” but gay, in the strictest sense. I’m annoyed by the situation

I guess you better get some labels then, dickhead.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 00:41

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Haifisch posted:

I [28 M] am attracted to my stylist [30 F], but she thinks I'm gay

Accidentally spill a deck of those cards with nude ladies on them. She'll figure it out.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 01:03

Depressio111117: Oct 18, 2014; A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

almightyerin posted:

You know, that's the first time I read the famous poop knife story and was expecting something very different.

Also, goddamn it I clicked on "last" again and missed like 100 pages of thread I needed to catch up on. I hope I didn't miss anything good.

Fat camp saga is a must-read.

Caganer posted:

the fat camp trilogy is

Can my parents make me go to fat camp?(self.legaladvice)

Can my parents make me go to fat camp? [Update] (self.legaladvice)

Can my parents make me go to fat camp? [Last Update] (self.legaladvice)

# ? Jul 1, 2018 01:10

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

oh yeah ty for the poop knife story, our modern day Odyssey

No prob my man :respek:

Now that I know there are actual poop knives, I know what I�m buying my brother for his birthday.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 01:17

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

ArbitraryC posted:

Yeah tbh I found her followup more depressing than anything, like I obviously think she hosed up badly but it sounds like there were dysfunctional parts of her relationship she was resentful over for a while. doesn't really excuse what she did and lol how selfish was it to try and actually shoot for raising that kid together but the guy did kind of come across as pretty controlling and demanding in a way that I'm not really surprised his worst fears came to fruition.

I have to give her a lot of credit for how she's coming to terms with what she did. It'd have to be really loving hard to face up to breaking a relationship that badly. She's looked in the mirror and told the world what she saw. She did terrible things, but she's sharing a powerful lesson.

Admiral Ray posted:

Bobby's a piece of poo poo but still young enough to stop being one. Don't apologize, hopefully he won't do this poo poo again.

Let him back in the group if he apologizes with remorse and shows signs of having learned a valuable lesson.

quote:

Ephebophilia chat...

poo poo, freshmen looked like kids when I was a senior in high school.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 01:26

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

COMRADES posted:

You know how I can tell you didn't go to a lot of parties in HS?

Posting on SA?

# ? Jul 1, 2018 02:01

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Husband (24) thinks that my (26) desire to feed the family healthy food is my "hobby" therefore he doesn't have to help me with it. Thoughts?

quote:

We've been married for 7 years and have 3 kids (3,3, and 10mo). Well I was extremely sick during pregnancy so the cooking fell onto him. He said that he was too over worked to cook so we just started eat fast food for almost every meal.

Fast forward a year and a half and everyone feels like poo poo and is getting fat. Plus it's not healthy for the kids. I'm still not 100% after my c section complications. He says that my idea of eating right (which is basically the paleo diet) is too much work.

I tried to compromise and say that we could just eat anything that isn't over processed but he won't go for it. He says if I want the kids to eat home made food that I have to make it all myself since I am the one changing the status quo. He said that my desire to make foods at home (like snacks and applesauce for the kids) is my hobby therefore he doesn't have to help.

I'm also very confused because we both split the rest of the work load 50/50.

TLDR- my husband thinks feeding the family home cooked food is my hobby and won't help.

But wait, there's more!

quote:

[�]Libertarian1986 [S] -55 points 5 years ago

Haha. I like how you think you can judge me and my parenting based on my willingness to give my kids raw milk.

Did you know I don't vaccinate GASP I didn't circumcise DOUBLE GASP and I coslept with my babies (I'm a monster, I know)

Just because the government or a doctor says something doesn't mean it's true. Remember when doctor's recommending smoking, heroin, cocaine (which they still use), twilight births, a nice xray to see your baby when you were pregnant?

And remember when the government put an entire nationality in work camps and witch hunts for commies?

Feel free to believe whatever people spoon feed you. I really couldn't care less, but just as I don't judge your ignorance based on my personal choices, don't judge my parenting based on yours.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 02:07

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

seems understandable you'd cling to some hosed-up childrearing practices when you're 150 years old

# ? Jul 1, 2018 02:10

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# ? May 29, 2024 14:51

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Haifisch posted:

Husband (24) thinks that my (26) desire to feed the family healthy food is my "hobby" therefore he doesn't have to help me with it. Thoughts?

quote:
Did you know I don't vaccinate GASP I didn't circumcise DOUBLE GASP and I coslept with my babies (I'm a monster, I know)

This but unironically. Except for the circumcision, who cares 'bout dick skin.

# ? Jul 1, 2018 02:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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