Schadenfreude Thread: AHHHHHHHHH

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china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

i say ELONGATE the elon-hate

:golgo:

the worst page snype

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:05

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# ? May 25, 2024 02:31

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

Saint Freak posted:

Maybe we can trick him into building Lowtax a robospine.

I think Lowtax would want a spine that doesn't spontaneously combust

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:06

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

Let us discuss soon to be Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:06

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

spog posted:

Christ, can we not poo poo up yet another thread with elon-hate?

it is appropriate to make fun of the baby man who is throwing a public tantrum because the world didn't appreciate his gift of a bespoke steampunk child-drowner

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:09

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Andrast posted:

I think Lowtax would want a spine that doesn't spontaneously combust

How about we let Lowtax make that decision for himself. :catbert:

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:14

Van Kraken: Feb 13, 2012

Besesoth posted:

I'm trying to remember which actor was telling the story about how he was having a conversation with Musk at a party, someone came up to ask for a selfie, and Musk was heartbroken that she was talking to the actor and not him.

It's from the article How �Silicon Valley� Nails Silicon Valley.

quote:

�Some Valley big shots have no idea how to react to the show,� Miller told me. �They can�t decide whether to be offended or flattered. And they�re mystified by the fact that actors have a kind of celebrity that they will never have�there�s no rhyme or reason to it, but that�s the way it is, and it kills them.� Miller met Musk at the after-party in Redwood City. �I think he was thrown by the fact that I wasn�t being sycophantic�which I couldn�t be, because I didn�t realize who he was at the time. He said, �I have some advice for your show,� and I went, �No thanks, we don�t need any advice,� which threw him even more. And then, while we�re talking, some woman comes up and says �Can I have a picture?� and he starts to pose�it was kinda sad, honestly�and instead she hands the camera to him and starts to pose with me. It was, like, Sorry, dude, I know you�re a big deal�and, in his case, he actually is a big deal�but I�m the guy from �Yogi Bear 3-D,� and apparently that�s who she wants a picture with.�

Also, the entire article is amazing:

quote:

During one visit to Google�s headquarters, in Mountain View, about six writers sat in a conference room with Astro Teller, the head of GoogleX, who wore a midi ring and kept his long hair in a ponytail. �Most of our research meetings are fun, but this one was uncomfortable,� Kemper told me. GoogleX is the company�s �moonshot factory,� devoted to projects, such as self-driving cars, that are difficult to build but might have monumental impact. Hooli, a multibillion-dollar company on �Silicon Valley,� bears a singular resemblance to Google. (The Google founder Larry Page, in Fortune: �We�d like to have a bigger impact on the world by doing more things.� Hooli�s C.E.O., in season two: �I don�t want to live in a world where someone makes the world a better place better than we do.�) The previous season, Hooli had launched HooliXYZ, its own �moonshot factory,� whose experiments were slapstick absurdities: monkeys who use bionic arms to masturbate; powerful cannons for launching potatoes across a room. �He claimed he hadn�t seen the show, and then he referred many times to specific things that had happened on the show,� Kemper said. �His message was, �We don�t do stupid things here. We do things that actually are going to change the world, whether you choose to make fun of that or not.� � (Teller could not be reached for comment.)

Teller ended the meeting by standing up in a huff, but his attempt at a dramatic exit was marred by the fact that he was wearing Rollerblades. He wobbled to the door in silence. �Then there was this awkward moment of him fumbling with his I.D. badge, trying to get the door to open,� Kemper said. �It felt like it lasted an hour. We were all trying not to laugh. Even while it was happening, I knew we were all thinking the same thing: Can we use this?� In the end, the joke was deemed �too hacky to use on the show.�

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:18

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Can we not get into an argument about whether Elon Musk is good or bad, and instead just be thankful that Elon Musk saved all those childrens' lives?

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:23

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Van Kraken posted:

It's from the article How “Silicon Valley” Nails Silicon Valley.

Also, the entire article is amazing:

Everything about this is hilarious beyond my ability to describe it

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:24

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Van Kraken posted:

It's from the article How �Silicon Valley� Nails Silicon Valley.

Also, the entire article is amazing:

"Teller ended the meeting by standing up in a huff, but his attempt at a dramatic exit was marred by the fact that he was wearing Rollerblades."

Oh my god how do these people even exist

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:34

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Jeese guys my sense of mirth over other people's misfortune goes right flaccid each time you mention that billionaire getting richer by the second and how he's living the life being the center of his world and all. In fact doesn't make me happy at all!!!!!

Should we start a resentment thread?

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:48

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

https://giant.gfycat.com/WaterloggedBaggyAfricanwildcat.webm

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:50

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Samuringa posted:

"Teller ended the meeting by standing up in a huff, but his attempt at a dramatic exit was marred by the fact that he was wearing Rollerblades."

Oh my god how do these people even exist

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-01-18/the-fall-of-travis-kalanick-was-a-lot-weirder-and-darker-than-you-thought

quote:

A year ago, before the investor lawsuits and the federal investigations, before the mass resignations, and before the connotation of the word �Uber� shifted from �world�s most valuable startup� to �world�s most dysfunctional,� Uber�s executives sat around a hotel conference room table in San Francisco, trying to convince their chief executive officer, Travis Kalanick, that the company had a major problem: him.

The executives were armed that day with something unusual for Uber Technologies Inc.: the results of a survey. Kalanick operated by gut feeling and with a stubborn sense of how people should feel, not how they did. Jeff Jones, Uber�s new president and former chief marketing officer for Target Corp., wanted more substantial insights. Conclusions drawn from the survey were printed and hanging on the walls. About half the respondents had a positive impression of Uber and its convenient ride-hailing app. But if respondents knew anything about Kalanick, an inveterate flouter of both workplace conventions and local transportation laws, they had a decidedly negative view.

As usual with Kalanick, the discussion grew contentious. Jones and his deputies argued that Uber�s riders and drivers viewed the company as made up of a bunch of greedy, self-centered jerks. And as usual, Kalanick retorted that the company had a public-relations problem, not a cultural one.

Then a top executive excused herself to answer a phone call. A minute later, she reappeared and asked Kalanick to step into the hallway. Another executive joined them. They hunched over a laptop to watch a video that had just been posted online by Bloomberg News: grainy, black-and-white dashcam footage of Kalanick in the back seat of an UberBlack on Super Bowl weekend, heatedly arguing over fares with a driver named Fawzi Kamel.

�Some people don�t like to take responsibility for their own poo poo!� Kalanick can be heard yelling at Kamel. �They blame everything in their life on somebody else!�

As the clip ended, the three stood in stunned silence. Kalanick seemed to understand that his behavior required some form of contrition. According to a person who was there, he literally got down on his hands and knees and began squirming on the floor. �This is bad,� he muttered. �I�m terrible.�

Then, contrition period over, he got up, called a board member, demanded a new PR strategy, and embarked on a yearlong starring role as the villain who gets his comeuppance in the most gripping startup drama since the dot-com bubble. It�s a story that, until now, has never been fully told.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:54

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Samuringa posted:

"Teller ended the meeting by standing up in a huff, but his attempt at a dramatic exit was marred by the fact that he was wearing Rollerblades."

Oh my god how do these people even exist

I saw a video of a super obese tech guy giving a TED talk and he has huge loving dreadlocks and goes around in a scooter. He probably smells like piss and I don't want to look him up because he looks revolting.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:55

Skippy McPants: Mar 19, 2009

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

https://giant.gfycat.com/WaterloggedBaggyAfricanwildcat.webm

Is this guy dead?

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:57

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Skippy McPants posted:

Is this guy dead?

Dead lift, yeah.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 19:59

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Van Kraken posted:

It's from the article How �Silicon Valley� Nails Silicon Valley.

Also, the entire article is amazing:

Kumail Nanjani actually has a pretty famous thread about the lack of foresight and consideration among the SV tech community

https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/925828976882282496

Most of these people aren't evil or stupid, they are just extremely naive and really believe that technology will somehow bootstrap us out of all of our problems.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:03

SubponticatePoster: Aug 9, 2004; Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.; Slippery Tilde

Skippy McPants posted:

Is this guy dead?

he ded

(I like the lady in the background stop to watch and then just go "welp" after he smashes himself)

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:03

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

zoux posted:

Most of these people aren't evil or stupid, they are just extremely naive and really believe that technology will somehow bootstrap us out of all of our problems.

https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/1016349564117192704

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:05

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

fisting by many posted:

Seems he developed a plan c, but plan a worked

What's wrong with that?

Not unlike his mother, he skipped plan B

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:06

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Saint Freak posted:

Maybe we can trick him into building Lowtax a robospine.

https://i.imgur.com/rNc8my3.gifv

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:18

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

luxury handset posted:

https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/1016349564117192704

I said most. Peter Thiel exists.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:19

Wiggly: Aug 26, 2000; Number one on the ice, number one in my heart; Fun Shoe

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Can we not get into an argument about whether Elon Musk is good or bad, and instead just be thankful that Elon Musk saved all those childrens' lives?

https://twitter.com/ronaldravegan/status/1016702447237062656

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:38

SneezeOfTheDecade: Feb 6, 2011; gettin' covid all
over your posts

canyoneer posted:

https://i.imgur.com/rNc8my3.gifv

Teledildonics is improving by leaps and bounds these days.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 20:51

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

https://i.imgur.com/H99B8e6.mp4

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:15

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

luxury handset posted:

https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/1016349564117192704

�Influence her on on a subconscious level�

Yeah the wife is definitely not going to notice anything weird when she starts getting spammed by articles about how she should give her husband a blowjob

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:19

Elizabethan Error: May 18, 2006

turns out seeds don't grow when drowned in poo poo, even the proverbial kind

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:44

Inco: Apr 3, 2009; I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Van Kraken posted:

It's from the article How �Silicon Valley� Nails Silicon Valley.

Also, the entire article is amazing:

I just can't get over the fact that Elon Musk got an ego-check by T.J. Miller, the man who once got so drunk that he called in a bomb threat for a train he was on, and who also starred in The Emoji Movie

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:45

XIII: Feb 11, 2009

^^Better yet, didn't he end up calling it on a different train by mistake?

Andrast posted:

�Influence her on on a subconscious level�

Yeah the wife is definitely not going to notice anything weird when she starts getting spammed by articles about how she should give her husband a blowjob

"Top 10 Reasons you, specifically you, should suck your husband's dick tonight, TABITHA"

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:51

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Inco posted:

I just can't get over the fact that Elon Musk got an ego-check by T.J. Miller, the man who once got so drunk that he called in a bomb threat for a train he was on, and who also starred in The Emoji Movie

This was when Silicon Valley was new, so it was T.J. Miller at the height of his powers, and not the sad and broken man he's become.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:51

GrandpaPants: Feb 13, 2006; Free to roam the heavens in man's noble quest to investigate the weirdness of the universe!

Phanatic posted:

This was when Silicon Valley was new, so it was T.J. Miller at the height of his powers, and not the sad and broken man he's become.

Given his past, I imagine he was always a sad and broken man.

Dude posing as a Saudi prince gets undone by bacon: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article214370529.html

# ? Jul 10, 2018 21:57

silentsnack: Mar 19, 2009; Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is the 45th and current President of the United States. Before entering politics, he was a businessman and television personality.

Andrast posted:

�Influence her on on a subconscious level�

Yeah the wife is definitely not going to notice anything weird when she starts getting spammed by articles about how she should give her husband a blowjob

Also how much disingenuous mkultra enhanced-triple-reverse-psychology does it take to sneak any version of "my boner really needs you to stop using adblock and start paying attention to dumb obvious clickbait" into any conversations, and have that somehow actually work?

They would need to be already using mind control in order to make the mind control effective at all.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:00

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Schadenfreude: it was T.J. Miller at the height of his powers

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:03

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

GrandpaPants posted:

Because he's leveraging his plan C (C is also being very generous) as a way to generate publicity about himself and making it all about him/his genius.

Edit: It should also be noted that this useless hunk of metal is now in the middle of their rescue efforts, diverting resources and attention by having to deal with it. You're asking for validation of a billionaire's equivalent of someone dumping a bunch of old junk for a relief effort charity drive, which now needs resources to be sorted, likely deemed useless, and disposed of.

Reminder about 2012, where billionaire Mitt Romoney dropped off a bunch of perishable food for Super Storm Sandy relief.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:20

Keru: Aug 2, 2004; 'n suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us 'n the sky was full of what looked like 'uge bats, all swooping 'n screeching 'n divin' around the ute.

GrandpaPants posted:

Because he's leveraging his plan C (C is also being very generous) as a way to generate publicity about himself and making it all about him/his genius.

Edit: It should also be noted that this useless hunk of metal is now in the middle of their rescue efforts, diverting resources and attention by having to deal with it. You're asking for validation of a billionaire's equivalent of someone dumping a bunch of old junk for a relief effort charity drive, which now needs resources to be sorted, likely deemed useless, and disposed of.

The best (worst) part is he literally took a trip to ~*disrupt*~ an ongoing rescue operation just to leave a child-size coffin as a memento.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:24

Lord Dudeguy: Sep 17, 2006; [Insert good English here]

Stexils posted:

if this was at night it could be a horror movie

My effort is really bad, but:

:edit: gently caress I broke tables. One sec.

Lord Dudeguy has a new favorite as of 22:52 on Jul 10, 2018

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:50

SneezeOfTheDecade: Feb 6, 2011; gettin' covid all
over your posts

https://elekk.xyz/system/media_attachments/files/000/478/141/original/22da673d05ae1efc.webm

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:53

Garrand: Dec 28, 2012; Rhino, you did this to me!

Andrast posted:

�Influence her on on a subconscious level�

Yeah the wife is definitely not going to notice anything weird when she starts getting spammed by articles about how she should give her husband a blowjob

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roswPPr2t3U

# ? Jul 10, 2018 22:53