SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

these are not deeds of honor or shame to be memorialized. it just makes me feel pity.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 23:46

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 12:48

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Those answers were a lot more serious and varied than the expected "because you piss yourself" one I was fishing for.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 23:49

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A Moose posted:

http://www.maximumfun.org/sawbones/sawbones-ketogenic-diet here's a bunch of useful information from a doctor about keto diets

tl;dr: Its a treatment for epilepsy that used to work until medicine was invented, we forgot about it, someone rediscovered it and now its a miracle cure for ~~everything~~ weight.

I've never had epilepsy and now I never will because of keto. Thank you Mr. Keto, whoever you are.

# ? Jul 10, 2018 23:52

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

On a high-protein diet your sweat will also sometimes smell like ammonia, but not necessarily in a pissy way. More like concentrated Windex.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 00:05

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

A Moose posted:

http://www.maximumfun.org/sawbones/sawbones-ketogenic-diet here's a bunch of useful information from a doctor about keto diets

tl;dr: Its a treatment for epilepsy that used to work until medicine was invented, we forgot about it, someone rediscovered it and now its a miracle cure for ~~everything~~ weight.

TBF it's still used for epilepsy if medication doesn't

# ? Jul 11, 2018 00:49

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

I ate big awesome sandwiches with whatever bread I wanted every day for lunch and drank 1-3 beers/night and lost 35lbs (I wasn't even that fat to begin with)

exercise loving works

Snow Cone Capone has a new favorite as of 00:58 on Jul 11, 2018

# ? Jul 11, 2018 00:56

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

Mein Kampf Enthusiast posted:

I ate big awesome sandwiches with whatever bread I wanted every day for lunch and drank 1-3 beers/night and lost 35lbs (I wasn't even that fat to begin with)

exercise loving works

You should tell YLLS about this discovery.

(that isn't that many fuckin calories especially if you're an average to tall dude who presumably isn't in awful shape. Fat people NEED to change their diets.)

Edgar Allen Ho has a new favorite as of 01:22 on Jul 11, 2018

# ? Jul 11, 2018 01:19

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

You should tell YLLS about this discovery.

(that isn't that many fuckin calories especially if you're an average to tall dude who presumably isn't in awful shape. Fat people NEED to change their diets.)

I'm just sayin'

# ? Jul 11, 2018 01:25

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Woah, less calories in and more calories out means weight loss? Stop the presses everyone, we got a hot story for the front page tomorrow morning.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 02:58

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Spanish Manlove posted:

Woah, less calories in and more calories out means weight loss? Stop the presses everyone, we got a hot story for the front page tomorrow morning.

You say that, but so many people have so much trouble wrapping their minds around that.

�But my metabolism!�, they cry as they sit down to a 3000kcal meal.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 03:37

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Spanish Manlove posted:

Woah, less calories in and more calories out means weight loss? Stop the presses everyone, we got a hot story for the front page tomorrow morning.

unrepentant fatty spotted

Proteus Jones posted:

You say that, but so many people have so much trouble wrapping their minds around that.

�But my metabolism!�, they cry as they sit down to a 3000kcal meal.

I got an $8 food scale and a random free tracking app and it led to some serious :psyduck:

moments. It's kind of insane how almost every chain restaurant or fast food place in the US has like a 1200-calorie minimum.

Snow Cone Capone has a new favorite as of 03:59 on Jul 11, 2018

# ? Jul 11, 2018 03:56

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

Say what you will about McDonald�s but it�s cool how they print the calorie content of everything on the menu nowadays, even the drive thru.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:07

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Say what you will about McDonald�s but it�s cool how they print the calorie content of everything on the menu nowadays, even the drive thru.

I didn't even know you could eat the drive-thru! :v:

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:08

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Say what you will about McDonald�s but it�s cool how they print the calorie content of everything on the menu nowadays, even the drive thru.

Isn�t that a requirement in many jurisdictions for restaurants with more than a certain number of locations?

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:09

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012; Get bashed, platonist!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I didn't even know you could eat the drive-thru!

Only once.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:10

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

But Chipotle seems so healthy! I got a whole wheat wrap! :consumes a solid brick of 1.4 pounds of food in one sitting:

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:16

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

Subjunctive posted:

Isn�t that a requirement in many jurisdictions for restaurants with more than a certain number of locations?

I think so, but my experience is that every McD�s has it (in the US) regardless whereas equally huge chains like Taco Bell don�t.

Did they do it to save money? Probably, but good things for selfish reasons are still better than bad things.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 04:31

10dishOkiku: Jul 28, 2010; 7...8...9...9...9...10!

Some of the sagas I remember from E/N! Curious if anyone has the links? Mine got swallowed by the archive black hole.

An E/N thread backfired on an OP when Goons figured out he'd tried to rape another Goon. One of them was touring the country via motorcycle, I think the OP. Hostgoon had asked him never to speak about the attempt, and immediately OP made a parachute account and tried to get people to side with him, but it backfired. Hostgoon ended up being informed about the thread and called him out on it; it became a huge drama crossover from the auto thread and E/N.

Heartwarming E/N Sagas:

Guy has kids taken away by CPS, and turns everything around to get them back, which was a lot of work. There were two threads: Loss of children and Getting them back.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3453028
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499987

Goon Amiee had a good thread about her dad stealing her identity and her doing everything in her power to get her credit cleared. It took a while to finish, but she managed to get out of 6 figures of debt her dad took out in her name. I think there was another thread with additional dad drama but it was handled quickly.

Goon IneedanewCrayon managed to get out of an abusive relationship with her boyfriend at the time, which does not happen in a lot of abusive E/N threads (many abuse victims that post in E/N may stay or ignore the abuse until much, much later), and OP even got a new avatar picture with a crayon for it in the thread.

And I think there was another goon [Edit: Hapitoo] whose ex-wife (wife?) just randomly ran away with the kids, and he ended up getting custody of his daughter since ex-wife was so unstable.

Sometimes in my mind it bleeds into the guy who moved to Britain with the Best Doggo and his wife decided she wanted a divorce instead of moving to Britain with him, forcing OP to do divorce proceedings while abroad. He got the doggo, a good lawyer, and plenty of support from his new job/therapist. I'm pretty sure they were two separate threads. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3620887

Edited as I found some of them.

10dishOkiku has a new favorite as of 10:03 on Jul 11, 2018

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I think so, but my experience is that every McD�s has it (in the US) regardless whereas equally huge chains like Taco Bell don�t.

Did they do it to save money? Probably, but good things for selfish reasons are still better than bad things.

Might be one of the things they implemented to stem the backlash from Super Size Me. McD's has apparently been desperate to improve its reputation in recent years. (but not really having any solutions for being a byword for unhealthy fattening processed food and underpaid drudgery)

...now I'm trying to remember some kind of interview or something where someone jokingly asks if Coca-Cola is having an identity crisis, and the reply is 'Yes, they absolutely are.'

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:09

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Whatever happened with the goon lady whose wife was constantly yelling at her and throwing fits and using their daughter as a cudgel in their domestics spats? I think (one of) her name(s) was something like Peppermint Patty. For some reason, I also associate her with an umbrella. Parapluie?

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:26

10dishOkiku: Jul 28, 2010; 7...8...9...9...9...10!

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Whatever happened with the goon lady whose wife was constantly yelling at her and throwing fits and using their daughter as a cudgel in their domestics spats? I think (one of) her name(s) was something like Peppermint Patty. For some reason, I also associate her with an umbrella. Parapluie?

She remained with the wife, who claimed to be sick, and her posts petered out. There were a lot of support from Goons, she realized her situation was abuse, but she wanted to work through couple's therapy first before she left, I think.

Maybe the name was Parachute Patty? I know it was a PP name with Patty.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:29

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Yeah, the account was Parachute Patty, since it was a parachute account by someone who didn't want to be recognized. I hope she and her daughter are okay.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:59

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

10dishOkiku posted:

Some of the sagas I remember from E/N! Curious if anyone has the links? Mine got swallowed by the archive black hole.

An E/N thread backfired on an OP when Goons figured out he'd tried to rape another Goon. One of them was touring the country via motorcycle, I think the OP. Hostgoon had asked him never to speak about the attempt, and immediately OP made a parachute account and tried to get people to side with him, but it backfired. Hostgoon ended up being informed about the thread and called him out on it; it became a huge drama crossover from the auto thread and E/N.

Iirc, the most messed up part of that story was the mod deciding the best course of action was to ban BOTH the rapist and rapee in the event.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 06:08

BogDew: Jun 14, 2006; E:\FILES>quickfli clown.fli

10dishOkiku posted:

Heartwarming E/N Sagas:

There was one woman in Canada who documented her trials and tribulations of sorting out her unwell dad and the house.

Another I recall realized she was in an abusive relationship with her mother, someone posted the "Cycle of abuse" picture and it just clicked for her, so she figured out a way to get moving. Dunno how it's gone after these years.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 06:30

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Choco1980 posted:

Iirc, the most messed up part of that story was the mod deciding the best course of action was to ban BOTH the rapist and rapee in the event.

Really? What was the rationale?

I have links to both threads, but I'm at work. Will post them later today if no one beats me to it.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 07:03

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Really? What was the rationale?

I have links to both threads, but I'm at work. Will post them later today if no one beats me to it.

I wish I was joking when I tell you this but it was for "importing offsite drama"

# ? Jul 11, 2018 07:13

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012; Get bashed, platonist!

Sid Vicious posted:

I wish I was joking when I tell you this but it was for "importing offsite drama"

Drama queens, am i rite????

# ? Jul 11, 2018 07:14

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Hahaha yeah how dare she what a biatch

Which mod was that? I hope they got a splintered broom handle loving.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 07:19

Untrustable: Mar 17, 2009

10dishOkiku posted:

Some of the sagas I remember from E/N! Curious if anyone has the links? Mine got swallowed by the archive black hole.

An E/N thread backfired on an OP when Goons figured out he'd tried to rape another Goon. One of them was touring the country via motorcycle, I think the OP. Hostgoon had asked him never to speak about the attempt, and immediately OP made a parachute account and tried to get people to side with him, but it backfired. Hostgoon ended up being informed about the thread and called him out on it; it became a huge drama crossover from the auto thread and E/N.

As resident self-appointed SA historian I'll point you to Tsaven Nava. Drama starts at page 4: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3358181&pagenumber=4&perpage=40

E/N thread wherein Tsaven Nava uses a parachute account to try and get in front of the incoming backlash - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3368580&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Choco1980 posted:

Iirc, the most messed up part of that story was the mod deciding the best course of action was to ban BOTH the rapist and rapee in the event.

This was ZeroBeerThirty and Myrtar (the tactical janitor EDC guy) letting GI Joe Dirtbag crash on their couch for a few days, which turned into 6 weeks. GI Joe Dirtbag then tried to rape ZeroBeerThirty after she had been drinking. Tenementfunster ate a perma (since reversed and he continues to post, recently racking up his 100th probation, the fuckin legend) for telling the story, ZeroBeerThirty ate a perma for confirming the story, and GI Joe Dirtbag ate a perma for being a rapist but kinda not really because Fragmaster is fuckin awful.

Thread - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3048978

Unrelated thread where GI Joe Dirtbag professes his innocence and declares that ZeroBeerThirty is a, quote, "psychopathic whore with a military fetish if there ever was one." - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2709600&pagenumber=145&perpage=40#post354624928

GI Joe Dirtbag's Ban reason - https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php?userid=53964

ZeroBeerThirty's ban reason - https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php?userid=145673

Tenementfunster's ban reason (it's a ways down the page since he got un-perma'd - https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php?&sort=&asc=0&adminid=&ban_month=0&ban_year=0&actfilt=-1&userid=33869&pagenumber=2

Side plot: Kow was also perma'd (later reversed) for posting this thread as commentary on the wanton permas Fragmaster was throwing around. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3049062&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post354627574

Fragmaster was awful.

Untrustable has a new favorite as of 08:07 on Jul 11, 2018

# ? Jul 11, 2018 07:36

10dishOkiku: Jul 28, 2010; 7...8...9...9...9...10!

WebDog posted:

There was one woman in Canada who documented her trials and tribulations of sorting out her unwell dad and the house.

Another I recall realized she was in an abusive relationship with her mother, someone posted the "Cycle of abuse" picture and it just clicked for her, so she figured out a way to get moving. Dunno how it's gone after these years.

The woman in Canada made another thread after, dealing with her autistic brother.

Pixelante: The Other Shoe Just Dropped
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3329230
New thread, which sadly petered out: The Other Shoe Just Dropped 2: Send Boots
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3742372

I don't remember the mother one, but a lot of the abuse ones blend together. I'm glad she managed to get moving.

And Untrustable + Choco1980, add me to the pile of :stonk:

that they banned everyone, even the victim. drat. Thank you for the links, Untrustable.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 08:05

Untrustable: Mar 17, 2009

No problem. I read a lot of SAclopedia and remember a lot of stories. Once I remember a name it's just a bit of searching to refresh my memory.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 08:10

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

I remember that going down, yeah. Fragmaster said something like he couldn�t be bothered to figure out who should get perma�d so he just perma�d everyone involved.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 11:34

I Said No: May 21, 2007; jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Hahaha yeah how dare she what a biatch

Which mod was that? I hope they got a splintered broom handle loving.

It was Fragmaster, so no

# ? Jul 11, 2018 13:24

frankee: Dec 29, 2017

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Tomtoes are made of carbs my dude. Cut that poo poo out. Try adding some grated cheese in their place.

Also, mix liquor with diet sodas for a simple low carb alcohol fix.

tomatoes have very low carbs compared to carrots and onions there carbs are almost zero

# ? Jul 11, 2018 14:09

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Tomatoes are fine on a low-carb diet.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 14:13

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Pirate Radar posted:

I remember that going down, yeah. Fragmaster said something like he couldn�t be bothered to figure out who should get perma�d so he just perma�d everyone involved.

It came across as an excuse to finally permaban TenementFunster.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 15:19