Pick posted:

It's become radically less weird in the last year or so, gettin' old I guess

LadyPictureShow posted:

Does my [17F] girlfriend need to know?

Genderfluid(?) imaginary friend. Is that what a ‘Tulpa’ is?

Nonvalueadded User posted:

(Yes I know that doesn’t match Plato’s depiction of how Socrates’ daimon interacted with him but shut up you’re not my real mom.)

Pick posted:

I live in portland and it's so common it's almost boring

you don't see men do it though? like I'm not seeing guys gay out for a while and then go "ok ha ha we've had fun but now it's puss-o-clock"

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

dating men seems pretty bad so I'm not really surprised?

Pick posted:

I live in portland and it's so common it's almost boring

you don't see men do it though? like I'm not seeing guys gay out for a while and then go "ok ha ha we've had fun but now it's puss-o-clock"

dudeness posted:

There's a reason dildos have been around for 30,000 years.

quote:

you don't see men do it though? like I'm not seeing guys gay out for a while and then go "ok ha ha we've had fun but now it's puss-o-clock"

u/BeccaBeast13
Hey guys. I just wanted to get some outside opinions on this situation because I’m having a hard time.

TLDR is at the bottom.

My husband (let’s call him Isaac) is 8 years sober. My step father (Dan, 60s/m) is an alcoholic. Last year, my mom (Lynne) ended up in the hospital, and in a moment of familial closeness, Dan decided to come clean about a previous incident.

He told us that he had given my very sober husband an alcoholic drink two years ago when we were visiting. At the time, Isaac was hesitant to drink it because it tasted off, mentioning that he was sober and trying to confirm if the drink had alcohol in it.

Dan and Lynne both said it didn’t, and so he drank it.

After Dan came clean, Isaac was very upset. Rightly so - he made the comparison of if someone had slipped me a roofie, we would be similarly upset.

Isaac set some boundaries in order to make sure we could keep these people in our lives, as I didn’t want to completely disconnect from my mother, and Dan is a package deal if I want to be with her.

His main boundary was that they could not spend the night in our house if they visit, and when we visited we would also get a hotel. He basically wanted space if he needed it.

My mom now wants to visit, and wants to bring Dan with her. I explained the boundaries, that she couldn’t stay in our house. I offered to pay for a nearby hotel, as we would still love to see them, we just wanted a bit of distance until trust had been reestablished.

Lynne went through the roof. She at first was civil, but then called me back like 20 minutes later completely yelling at me, saying we were in a delusional bubble that meant we couldn’t deal with anyone who wasn’t perfect.

I want to maintain the relationship with my mom, but she can’t accept the one boundary my husband set.

Am I being unreasonable by siding with my husband? Is he being unreasonable by asking they stay in a hotel?

TLDR ; my step father gave my sober husband an alcoholic drink. Now when we request that they stay in a hotel while visiting, they attack us and say we’re being ridiculous.

Milotic posted:

[b]My (23/f) mother (60s/f) is mad because my husband ((26/m) and I set boundaries


So he went sober at 18? I’m trying to work out if sober means it’s a lifestyle choice or he was a genuine alcoholic in recovery.

Milotic posted:

[b]My (23/f) mother (60s/f) is mad because my husband ((26/m) and I set boundaries


So he went sober at 18? I’m trying to work out if sober means it’s a lifestyle choice or he was a genuine alcoholic in recovery.

Milotic posted:

My (23/f) mother (60s/f) is mad because my husband ((26/m) and I set boundaries


So he went sober at 18? I’m trying to work out if sober means it’s a lifestyle choice or he was a genuine alcoholic in recovery.

quote:

This is in Alabama. I’m really really upset over all of this so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense. This happened last week and it was only brought to my attention today what exactly I ate and I’m a mess. My coworkers all cook a lot and bring in food for everyone. They all know I have food restrictions because I usually don’t partake (which pisses most of them off because it’s “rude”). One girl brought in a pie and was very proud of herself, saying I could eat it. So I did because I’m a trusting idiot. My stomach was a wreck that night and the next day but I’m pregnant and have a weird stomach anyways so I didn’t connect the dots. There’s been some other poo poo since and I’m on even stricter rules right now. One of my coworkers was commenting on it all today after seeing me eat my sad work dinner, and said outright that it isn’t the end of the world if I eat the stuff I’m not supposed to because “a lightning bolt won’t come from heaven and kill you”. I sort of gave her a look and she laughed and said it didn’t when I ate the pie and told me what was in it. I’m so so upset right now. I genuinely don’t know what to do or say. They’ve ignored my wishes and been outright hostile before but never like this. I went home crying last week over something else and filed with HR over it but they didn’t take it seriously and this is just my breaking point. I’m not coming back after I have this baby but is there something I can do legally? TL;DR- Coworkers put something I don’t eat into food and lied about it to me, saying they specifically made it safe for me. Now they told me they did it to prove a point. Do I have legal recourse?

quote:

So I’m in Alabama.

I’m an assistant manager for a call center floor. One of my associates is generally standoffish, and isn’t super social, but I figured this was because she is from a different background than the rest of us.

She is currently pregnant. She got even more cagey as it became obvious and got outright rude when people would ask her about it. We’ve thrown work baby showers for all the other girls, so we threw one for her.

She was furious. She is now threatening to go after us for a hostile work environment, claiming we acted in a way that was harassing because her religion/culture doesn’t do baby showers/they’re bad luck.

Does she have a leg to stand on or is she bluffing?

quote:

I keep getting messages asking for an update. I can’t say much, but I have gotten a lawyer through a friend of the family. He has contacted corporate HR. There will be a settlement out of court, as they want this resolved quickly with no publicity. I cannot express how grateful I am for all of your quick thinking and ability to connect the dots. I don’t know if I would’ve had the guts to get a lawyer if you hadn’t said anything. Thank you.

tactlessbastard posted:

Your girlfriend is an rear end in a top hat.

Edit: her friends are assholes, too


Start flirting with her husband and wreck her marriage.

Caganer posted:

it doesn't matter why someone doesn't want alcohol, it's still not ok to loving drug them. whether its a dick or dewars, never put things in people's bodies w/o consent

also lol at "REEEEEE NOT EVERYONE IS PERFECT" being the response when told after such behavior you will pay for their hotel.

Also: did anyone ever post the saga on legaladvice of the Jewish woman tricked into eating pork? (The one where both the lovely manager and the employee posted on /r/legaladvice, then bestoflegaladvice noticed and promptly melted down loling)

Tricked into eating something I don’t eat at work. Is this illegal/a toxic work environment?
(self.legaladvice)




Threw an employee a baby shower now being threatened with “hostile work enviroment”. What do I do? (AL)


Some sects of Judiasm think baby showers are bad luck (paging Loquacious as he usually is good about explaining these things in a way my goyim brain can understand)

Tricked into eating something at work update (self.legaladvice)

My Imaginary GF posted:

maybe girlfriend had some traumatic experiences or a creepy uncle

also, whats with white girls wanting to go to ireland? it seems to be the #1 white girl ideal vacation destination

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

can still speak English, can pretend a connection to the local history

Caganer posted:

Also: did anyone ever post the saga on legaladvice of the Jewish woman tricked into eating pork? (The one where both the lovely manager and the employee posted on /r/legaladvice, then bestoflegaladvice noticed and promptly melted down loling)

My Imaginary GF posted:

maybe girlfriend had some traumatic experiences or a creepy uncle

also, whats with white girls wanting to go to ireland? it seems to be the #1 white girl ideal vacation destination

dudeness posted:

Some girls like 'em Troubled.

quote:

I went away for the weekend on Friday and my friend watched my dog, which she has done many times in the past. It turns out she does coke (I had no idea) and my dog got into her stash and ate some of it. It was enough that she was rushed to the vet Saturday night and is still there today, though she is going to be okay.

My "friend" and I (we are not friends anymore after this) have been arguing over the vet bill. I have pet insurance but it will only cover a portion of this bill. I've been arguing she should at least help pay, because my dog wasn't being watched and the drugs weren't hidden well enough if she ate them. She told me that it's not her fault my dog is stupid and that if anything I owe her because her coke was very expensive!

Can I sue her to get her to pay? Will I need a lawyer?

My Imaginary GF posted:

also, whats with white girls wanting to go to ireland? it seems to be the #1 white girl ideal vacation destination

quote:

I am someone with quite a high sex-drive, who enjoys both a lot of sex, and a lot of kinky sex. I value my sexuality a lot. So this is not necessarily about me having a low sex-drive in comparison to my boyfriend. This is about the pressure and expectation I feel mentally to respond positively every time he initiates sex.

I feel like sex and being sexy is expected of me, which I think is internalised insecurity from society. What I have found to be true in more than one of my relationships is that once the honeymoon phase is over, despite the fact I would like to have sex with my boyfriend, I feel resentment towards him when he initiates often. I would describe the feeling as pressure - the pressure to be the 'cool sexy girlfriend', and thus the feeling like I have to have sex whenever he wants.

Often, when he initiates, I would have probably wanted to have sex, but as soon as he mentions it, I shut down and push him away as I feel pressured. I would like to stress that he has never, ever pressured me. This is not a result of his actions. As soon as I tell him I'm not in the mood, he backs off and is very understanding. I understand this sounds very confusing. The pressure seems to stem from my own thoughts and insecurities - e.g. if I don't have sex with him, he won't love me.

However, it is making me seem like I rarely want to have sex with him, when in fact it is the opposite. Although I have spoken to him about this, and he has been understanding and offered to initiate less so that I have space to initiate myself, I still feel very guilty about this. He feels like its a reflection on my attraction towards him, and though I have reassured him that it isn't, I can understand why he would feel that way. I also believe that if two people have incompatible sex drives, it makes sense to break up as one person is not getting fulfilled. So, alongside all of this, I have the worry that not having sex means we shouldn't be together.

I would like to get to a place where he can initiate again too without feeling guilty! I like feeling wanted sexually by my boyfriend! So ideally I am asking whether anyone has any experience feeling the same way, and how to deal with the knee-jerk reaction of feeling like its a negative thing.

tl;dr: After the honeymoon phase is over, I feel like sex is expected of me (despite my boyfriend not doing anything to pressure me). I would like to stop feeling like this.

Legal Advice Tree OP posted:

[USA-TN] An r/legaladvice wet dream: neighbor cut down two of my trees. What should I look for in a lawyer?
I live in an older neighborhood in a small town an hour away from Nashville. The cost of living in Nashville has shot up, as well as property values, and some people have begun to move into our sleepy little town to get more out of their dollar. A new-ish neighbor is an aspiring country singer, lives in their own world, and seems to have a lot of money.

This crudely drawn map shows the proximity of our two houses. The Future-Johnny-Cash™ recently built a front porch that includes a fireplace, hanging lights, the whole shebang. Johnny's only source of Hurt is that I had two old oak trees that cast his deck in shade during the prime hours (the map isn't aligned properly). He asked me to cut them down before, even offering to pay, but I did not comply.

When I returned from vacation last week, I came home to two tree stumps, mashed up grass, and a letter telling me to expect a venmo payment for $2000.

I know that trees are well loved around here, but I don't think that this information is common knowledge to all lawyers. What should I bring up when I meet with a legal representative to explore my punitive retribution?

Tree OP Update posted:

Original here. I forgot the password for the throwaway, sorry if this ruins continuity.

A lot has happened in the past 15 days. I wanted to provide a brief update, but it will be out of order. Thank you for all of the great advice. Sorry I was unable to comment in the original thread, but I am grateful for everything.

The first thing I did was delete venmo, scan and backup the letters left in my mail box (the ones offering to pay for the trees being cut down, and the one offering 2k), and called for someone from my local town to come and evaluate that the tree stumps were indeed on my land.

But before the land evaluation, I wanted to write a quick gospel in praise of my lawyer. I drove down to the big city of Nashville, and met with some real mean SOB. I gave him a quick rundown of what happened, and he literally quoted the helpful comment made by u/duderos about harming landowners trees. He told me that we should wait to file criminal charges until the stumps were without question on my land.

So I had a town surveyor visit, and this is where the story gets good. While he was out making his observations, my neighbor!!! came out and wanted to know when I would be taking the payments. I curtly said I wasn't yet ready to accept it, and he got mad, accusing me of being a lovely neighbor and not wanting to help his home. He then insisted that he had the right to cut down the trees, to which the surveyor confirmed my suspicions and told us no, the stumps were actually on my land. He could have trimmed branches if they were too long, but not cut the lumber down. He left in a huff.

So now I am waiting for Wednesday, when the certified Arborist will visit and tell me the tree value. Thanks again for your help.

Tree OP Final Update posted:

[Final Update, Payday edition!!] An r/legaladvice wet dream: neighbor cut down two of my trees. What should I look for in a lawyer?
Sorry for the delay, but that will be explained at the bottom.

The Arborist came out this past Wednesday. Prior to this meeting, and this whole mess, I had taken trees for granted. I simply assumed that you would plant a seed, they would grow, you'd cut them down, make poo poo, and the process would repeat. But no, I was informed by this mystic man of nature, trees are far more complex.

They takes years to root. Some trees need more dirt and ground to establish themselves. Some are more valuable in certain areas, with historical roots to the area. Some are incapable of growing in neighborhoods if infrastructure has since been built. And some trees produce different "veneer quality" logs.

White Oak Trees, or Quercus alba, is apparently one such tree that is highly sought after for veneer quality logs. They're used for furniture, for banjos here in the South, for all sorts of woodcraft. And, as the magical treeman told me, they're drat tough to grow in neighborhoods. Their roots don't let them grow in neighborhoods, and they shy from urban pollution. His point, is that if you had two white oak trees of veneer quality cut down from your front yard, is that they'd be irreplaceable. New ones could never regrow to that 100 year old size ever again.

Because of that, Treeman, God of Dollars, stated that $1000 per year, per tree, is a base compensation.

Sorry for the delay. My lawyer has been smelling blood in the water, and wanted to ensure whatever I posted wouldn't put our $200,000 tree case in jeopardy, and wanted to go over it first.

TL;DR: Don't cut down White Oaks in the birthplace of Old Hickory, or else.

Catalina posted:

Saga from r/bestoflegaladvice. Holy poo poo, who knew that you could sue over trees, and they could potentially be worth thousands of dollars?

Catalina posted:

Saga from r/bestoflegaladvice. Holy poo poo, who knew that you could sue over trees, and they could potentially be worth thousands of dollars?

Darkrenown posted:

That's got me curious about Treelaw. Say a tree is right on the border of your property, a big tree is going to have extensive roots, some of which must go into your neighbours land and suck nutrients and water from it. Does the neighbour get any partial claim on the value of your tree? What if the neighbour hates your tree, but isn't quite dumb enough to cut it down - could they just dig a big pit in their land which happens to cut through your tree's roots? Or build a pool there and claim for damages when the roots grow into it?

My Imaginary GF posted:

maybe girlfriend had some traumatic experiences or a creepy uncle

also, whats with white girls wanting to go to ireland? it seems to be the #1 white girl ideal vacation destination

MarcusSA posted:

Ireland is actually pretty loving awesome

Haifisch posted:

My dog ate my friend's coke, almost died and the vet bill is going to be very large (NY)

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Enhydra Lutris Goes To R/relationships

Me (22/F) finds there is a certain 'pressure' to have sex in relationship. Not the fault of my boyfriend (22/F) of two years, but I can't help but feel resentment.


bolding not mine

CheesyDog posted:

The tree law posts are great and it's amazing how many people think they can just cut down and sell $10ks of their neighbors' hardwood

Darkrenown posted:

That's got me curious about Treelaw. Say a tree is right on the border of your property, a big tree is going to have extensive roots, some of which must go into your neighbours land and suck nutrients and water from it. Does the neighbour get any partial claim on the value of your tree? What if the neighbour hates your tree, but isn't quite dumb enough to cut it down - could they just dig a big pit in their land which happens to cut through your tree's roots? Or build a pool there and claim for damages when the roots grow into it?

Haifisch posted:

My dog ate my friend's coke, almost died and the vet bill is going to be very large (NY)

ArbitraryC posted:

tbh I feel like if the dog had just destroyed a bunch of other valuables in someone's house and got sick for it the case would be p clear against the lovely dog and owner. All the comments are like "it's her fault for having drugs" but it's not really a different situation than if the dog knocked over a rack of wine then licked it up till they got sick.