/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Caganer posted:

i don't think anyone posts sincerely here

I do.

Edit: Content for new page:

My[22F] boyfriend[23M] believes everyone is out to get him re his blond hair

quote:

We have been been together for one year recently, but been good friends since our childhood. I do remember as a kid he has strikingly blond hair, like almost as if on flash and fairly glaring. It�s nice hair though, healthy and thick.

Early into our friendship which developed mid teens, I realized he had a pretty big �thing� with his blond hair. He was angry because he felt no one took him seriously due to his blond hair. He cringed every time he was referred to as �the blond one�. I distinctly remember when he failed an English essay and attributed it to his teacher hating his blond hair. He once dyed his hair black but the ridicule from our classmates led him to bleaching his hair, making ridicule worse, then shaving it all off and starting over blond again.

This was kind of one of his big quirks and when we first started dating I�d actually started to forget about it, it was almost like he�d outgrown it. And it was never a huge deal anyway

But now it�s become obvious that he�s not over it. A few weeks ago I became suspicious of bf after a dinner we had for his work colleagues. I noticed that one woman, who�s name I�ve heard a few times, automatically connected to our WiFi and that was the first time I�d met her. I got really worried and logged into his computer which yes I know it�s a bad thing to do.

Well what I found on there was not what I�d expected�I saw an email from a different coworker referencing some sort of lawsuit my bf was involved in. To be clear, he has never told me he has anything like this going on. So then I called that coworker who I happen to run in the same circle as.

She tells me my boyfriend is accusing his old boss of discrimination�that�s right, for having blond hair. And that the lawsuit is the reason my bf was fired. I knew he had a job change recently but not anything else.

Is this super weird to anyone else?

**TL;DR: my boyfriend has a real problem with himself because blond and is projecting that onto other people **

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:25

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# ? May 23, 2024 14:27

Shnag: Dec 8, 2010; "I'll be whatever I wanna do!"

Nonvalueadded User posted:

In mixed-gender cases, physical domestic violence is most commonly (but not solely) inflicted by men on women.

However, emotional abuse and security abuse are abuse nonetheless, plus they provide about 80% of the content in this thread. Also, women are more frequently the abuser, relative to physical violence.

People just get trapped in these toxic cycles over time; consider the �frog in boiling water� metaphor. When one party tries to make a shared life in good faith with an abusive party, the abused party becomes vulnerable.

From the outside it seems easy to end the abuse. But I�ve seen it firsthand, and the victim�s mindset has become so corrupted and judgment so weakened that it�s not easy to view escape as the best � or even a realistic � option.

Its tough to escape abuse, even more so if the answer you recieve is "Quit being abused then your spineless wimp!".

Hellblazer187 posted:

I agree with all of that. I'm just saying I'd consider forgiveness depending on how else the relationship is and if she gets treatment.

The men are bigger thing isn't to diminish the suffering of male victims. It's just that male perpetrators are likely to be fantastically more dangerous. Of course we judge male perps worse because it's much more likely for them to do permanent or lethal damage.

It would be his choice of course if he stayed with her, and the relationship history. If this incident is just one more to the pile, :rip:

the relationship, if it was out of no where's you can move on. Considering her history though, it is probably the former.

For content:

quote:

My [F25 boyfriend [M25] is making drastic appearance changes and I hate it[new]
Hi all.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He very recently (last 2 weeks) starting making lots of changes to his appearance that I find repulsive.

He dyed his black hair �blonde� (it�s really a patchy bright orange), started wearing hoop earrings, a large septum ring, and wearing ridiculous looking clothes (essentially flowy gaucho like pants). It all looks awful.

I told him I didn�t like it but I wouldn�t stop him from looking how he wanted but I�m totally repulsed by him, he looks like a clown. I find myself not even wanting to look at him or talk to him because it feels like I�m living with a stranger.

I think my biggest concern is that it�s SO embarrassing. When we go out in public, people stare, point, and laugh. He works in the creative industry so he claims it doesn�t effect his work (I disagree that looking so awful doesn�t have any impact on how people view and treat you, regardless of industry.) But I work in a high level marketing position and now I feel like I can�t include him in that part of my life at all. I go to all functions and events alone because he just doesn�t fit in with wealthy people in nice clothing. I work very hard to help build my career so we can have a stable life and it feels like he�s just throwing away opportunities so he can �look how he wants�. It�s isolating and humiliating.

What should I do? Is the relationship just DOA?

TL;DR My boyfriend of five years is drastically changing his appearance and I feel humiliated and repulsed.

If they don't last he can date that woman that dressed like a clown earlier in the thread.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:30

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Nonvalueadded User posted:

For whatever sins Pick May have committed in this thread, she has more than expatiated those with her Star Trek doodle thread.

She has indeed expatiated on her sins, but I don�t think that�s what you mean.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:32

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

even outside the redpill freight it carries 'flip the genders' type poo poo is dumb as hell cause it's predicated on the assumption everyone else is just hypocritically picking on poor men out of totally unexamined sexism and by just going 'but what if it was a man doing it to a woman' you're gonna blow their minds like woooooww

like either you flip the genders and it's the same fuckin thing and you're just whining about imaginary feminazis or you flip the genders and well obviously that's different because their childbearing apparatus renders the fairer sex hysterical and prone to fits of irrationality

C�mon, you�ve got to admit that there are socially-ingrained biases regarding what is acceptable behavior that differ between the genders. Not saying these biases are correct (factually or ethically). �Flipping the genders� can be a useful exercise to help someone identify those biases.

Also not saying that they are often used to justify bad arguments, even ironically to the point of supporting :biotruths:

Of course we�re all so woke we are immune to these. (By we I mean the good INTJs.)

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:34

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Subjunctive posted:

She has indeed expatiated on her sins, but I don�t think that�s what you mean.

I can�t believe I�ve been using that word incorrectly for so long.

Expurgated? What is the word I�m looking for?

P.S. I should have a user name as good as yours. Were I to change mine, I�d try for one as good as yours. Ehh, that mood doesn�t work as clearly in English as other languages.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:40

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Nonvalueadded User posted:

Ehh, that mood doesn�t work as clearly in English as other languages.

I appreciate the effort.

(Expurgated seems better, yeah.)

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:44

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

even outside the redpill freight it carries 'flip the genders' type poo poo is dumb as hell cause it's predicated on the assumption absolutely everyone else is just hypocritically picking on poor men out of totally unexamined sexism and by just going 'but what if it was a man doing it to a woman' you're gonna blow their minds like woooooww

Nah, it's true a lot of the time that men are treated like that, but it's not imaginary feminazis or whatever, it's most often other men who do it. Men are usually other men's worst enemy when it comes to things like abuse and mistreatment

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:44

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I do.

Edit: Content for new page:

My[22F] boyfriend[23M] believes everyone is out to get him re his blond hair

OP break up with him so she can see how he manages to twist it so it's because of his hair.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:46

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Miserable Maid posted:

Nah, it's true a lot of the time that men are treated like that, but it's not imaginary feminazis or whatever, it's most often other men who do it. Men are usually other men's worst enemy when it comes to things like abuse and mistreatment

and if you 'flip the genders' someone going haw haw beat up by a woman do you really expect this to rock their world

# ? Jul 15, 2018 19:54

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

I [26F] already want to quit my lawyer job after just 3 months

quote:

I recently graduated law school and started working at a non-profit firm, providing free legal services to low income individuals.

I always wanted to work in either government or non-profit, as I always believed it St. Thomas' principles of helping others. However, it has turned to be a complete headache.

The clients are driving me nuts!

They walk-in every day without appointments, and expect me to stop what I am doing to help them. One who expected me to stop during my appointment I had with another client to help her. I will have up to five walk ins in one day. For some reason, they don't understand that you have to call in advance to make an appointment. Do you just walk in to the doctor's office every day and think he will take you? If a doctor is with a patient, do you expect him to stop what he is doing to attend to your problems? The problem with the constant walk ins is that the receptionist speaks English, and does not speak Spanish, so if they walk in I have to be the one who speaks to them. With the constant walk ins, I have to be a part-time receptionist. Additionally, it is hard for me to get the other work I have done if I have to play receptionist all day.

And the truth is, while most of my clients are wonderful, some of them are rude. One lady sucked her teeth at me when I told her that it was out of my job description to get her an info pass appointment (I'd have to get up at 5 am to try to get her an open slot). I called another lady back and she said: "It took you guys that long to call me back?" It's not like they are paying! Somebody is doing you a favor and you can't show any appreciation?

I can't tell you how many "no show" appointments I have. I can understand if somebody calls and cancels in advance because something unexpected came up, but some literally do not show up. Two or three times. That's an opportunity cost of me because I could have been working on another case. They wouldn't "no show"to a doctor because they know the doctor would charge them $75.00 for not showing up. So why do it to me? And here's the thing, they no show for their appointment, but walk in a week later expecting me to take them?

I give them a list of documents they need to bring to the next appointment in order to do the next part, and they don't bring them, and then they have to come back multiple times to finish.

It's all complete non-sense. Working non-profit was not what I expected it would be like at all. I already want to quit.

UPDATE: Thank you for the advice. I want to say that I didn't want to sound like I had some sort of attitude but I was vetting out my frustrations. I was just trying to say I want the same respect that a doctor or a private lawyer would get. I put in 110% for my clients, and when there are no shows, and people who don't bring documents, it causes something that should have taken one sitting to get done, to take 4 sittings. It makes it hard for me to put 110% to my clients. That and the constant walk ins creates a system that is inefficient and burned me out.

I have been thinking of ways to accommodate the clients. By giving them a list and them telling them to call me when they have all the documents ready for an appointment. I also plan on having the paralegal tell them at the intake that if they can't attend an appointment, to call an advance and cancel, because if they "no show" I will close their case.

I admit, I definitely was NOT expecting any of this when I decided to enter the non-profit world. But I will continue to try for the remaining of the year. I'm not ready to quit yet.

What rear end in a top hat clients, unable to speak english, and missing appointments. I'm sure they have sold, reliable transportation and plenty of childcare. OP is right - they need to show some respect! :rolleyes:

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:04

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Caganer posted:

I was just trying to say I want the same respect that a doctor or a private lawyer would get.

I don't know about lawyers, but :laffo:

if she thinks patients always respect medical professionals as much as she thinks they do.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:12

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Nonvalueadded User posted:

I can�t believe I�ve been using that word incorrectly for so long.

Expurgated? What is the word I�m looking for?

Expiate is precisely the word you mean (rather than expatiate). Expunge is closeish, expurgate is wrong.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:13

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Caganer posted:

I [26F] already want to quit my lawyer job after just 3 months

What rear end in a top hat clients, unable to speak english, and missing appointments. I'm sure they have sold, reliable transportation and plenty of childcare. OP is right - they need to show some respect!

They really are letting ANYONE be a law client nowadays.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:13

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

i'm shocked, shocked that someone working in a nonprofit turned out to be a covert narcissist who doesn't actually care about the people their org serves

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:14

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Ah yes, Lawyers, truly the beacons of humility and generosity that us poor people look to as a Normal Person would look at a heart surgeon saving a child's life

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:15

tudabee: Jan 1, 2007; How many times must I remind you to WASH YOUR HANDS?

quote:

quote:
Did you expect everyone to be super appreciative
I was so naive. I truly did. Our cases are tough and I put in 110% for my clients. Although I don't like to mention money, what we are doing free of cost, it would cost thousands of dollars if a private attorney took it on. I definitely thought they would be thankful, because, otherwise most would not be able to afford a private attorney and thus unable to pursue their cases. Like I said we are doing hard work, tons of labor into one case.

I thought it would be a scenario where we get the benefit of helping someone in need, and that person duly responds with respect and appreciation.

I guess that was my imagination.

lol the worst kind of person

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:19

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Lol well people from all walks of life can be entitled assholes but lol welcome to the wonderful world of �customer service� haha

Maybe she should be like a patent lawyer or something haha I dunno she clearly isn�t made to be dealing with the public.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:20

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Anne Whateley posted:

Expiate is precisely the word you mean (rather than expatiate). Expunge is closeish, expurgate is wrong.

I would have gone with extirpate myself

Caganer posted:

i don't think anyone posts sincerely here

I sincerely wish you took your act somewhere else

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:20

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I kinda miss Mirthless tbh

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:21

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I'd take that person's job, depending on the pay and location.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:29

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

Danaru posted:

I kinda miss Mirthless tbh

Whatever happened to that long haired weirdo?

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:43

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

edit: double post

Caganer fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jul 15, 2018

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:46

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

tudabee posted:

quote:
I was so naive. I truly did. Our cases are tough and I put in 110% for my clients. Although I don't like to mention money, what we are doing free of cost, it would cost thousands of dollars if a private attorney took it on. I definitely thought they would be thankful, because, otherwise most would not be able to afford a private attorney and thus unable to pursue their cases. Like I said we are doing hard work, tons of labor into one case.

I thought it would be a scenario where we get the benefit of helping someone in need, and that person duly responds with respect and appreciation.

I guess that was my imagination.

lol the worst kind of person

like i said, a narcissist. she was willing to forgo salary for narcissistic supply and now like most NGO workers is becoming bitter. she'll be tweeting about hillary 2020 and how neoliberalism isn't a dirty word by the end of the week

tactlessbastard posted:

I would have gone with extirpate myself

I sincerely wish you took your act somewhere else

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlOSdRMSG_k

Bamabalacha posted:

Whatever happened to that long haired weirdo?

he stayed up all night manic PMing me insults, then told me i was ableist for not excusing it because he was manic, sent some more insults, then melted down in this very thread and vowed never to return. he posts in pet island now about birds mostly

Caganer fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Jul 15, 2018

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:50

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Caganer posted:

I [26F] already want to quit my lawyer job after just 3 months

What rear end in a top hat clients, unable to speak english, and missing appointments. I'm sure they have sold, reliable transportation and plenty of childcare. OP is right - they need to show some respect!

One of my friends from temple recently accepted the ED position for the regional legal aid org. When we lunch together, its fun to chat with her about org culture and the turnaround shes been working on. From what I gather, many legal aid societies aren't run with positive org cultures that respect staff time and establish clear boundaries for clients while holding clients accountable to expectations.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:52

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

My Imaginary GF posted:

One of my friends from temple recently accepted the ED position for the regional legal aid org. When we lunch together, its fun to chat with her about org culture and the turnaround shes been working on. From what I gather, many legal aid societies aren't run with positive org cultures that respect staff time and establish clear boundaries for clients while holding clients accountable to expectations.

same old story

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:54

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My Imaginary GF posted:

One of my friends from temple recently accepted the ED position for the regional legal aid org. When we lunch together, its fun to chat with her about org culture and the turnaround shes been working on. From what I gather, many legal aid societies aren't run with positive org cultures that respect staff time and establish clear boundaries for clients while holding clients accountable to expectations.

one of my exes is a bonafied Human Rights Attorney� and yeah, tldr: the more someone makes themselves out to be holier than thou the more toxic they tend to be. i wish there was a non-loaded term other than "virtue signalling" to describe this, but i've met some real pieces of work who think just because they work for the UN or some poo poo they can be unpleasant and demanding all the time.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I think it's more that it stresses you out horribly and makes you mad, but you're not allowed to be mad at work so you end up taking it elsewhere. Sometimes people you're working within in nonprofits are... not super awesome people. Only so many times you want to get yelled at for handing out off-brand products at the soup kitchen. They stopped doing giving trees in my hometown because they got more requests than there are people in my hometown.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:58

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Caganer posted:

one of my exes is a bonafied Human Rights Attorney� and yeah, tldr: the more someone makes themselves out to be holier than thou the more toxic they tend to be. i wish there was a non-loaded term other than "virtue signalling" to describe this, but i've met some real pieces of work who think just because they work for the UN or some poo poo they can be unpleasant and demanding all the time.

I think you get it from both ends in a nonprofit: clients that don't always respect boundaries, and staff who have unfulfilled personal needs in life.

My drinking buddy/surrogate fatherly figure in town is married to the ED of the only abortion clinic in the region. At least at their health clinic, the protestors outside and threats against staff promote a mission-centric, positive organizational culture rooted in a firm us-vs-them mindset, where us is folk who respect women and them is crazies.

edit: wait, dont you post in the Taiwan.jpg thread? lol@the thought of a mainlander human rights lawyer working at UN

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:09

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My Imaginary GF posted:

I think you get it from both ends in a nonprofit: clients that don't always respect boundaries, and staff who have unfulfilled personal needs in life.

My drinking buddy/surrogate fatherly figure in town is married to the ED of the only abortion clinic in the region. At least at their health clinic, the protestors outside and threats against staff promote a mission-centric, positive organizational culture rooted in a firm us-vs-them mindset, where us is folk who respect women and them is crazies.

edit: wait, dont you post in the Taiwan.jpg thread? lol@the thought of a mainlander human rights lawyer working at UN

yeah, said friend brought up the prospect of a raise and was told that she's paid in line with what she'd make on the GS payscale and kind of lectured about how "we're not here for the money" and if she's was "profit driven" nonprofit work wasn't for her

i'd clued her in that top compensated 501c3 employees are listed on certain documents, and when she pointed out that the person she was talking to made MUCH in excess of the top of the GS payscale (director made ~300+k, GS executive pay tops out at like 180l) she got screamed at and eventually took another job because it was clear they were starting the paper trail to fire her for a very mild pushback during salary negotiation.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:19

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Me [26F] with my SO [30M] of 3 years. He resents me for financially supporting my family. He'd rather I let them go through charity

quote:

My fianc� J and I got engaged recently and have a pretty good relationship overall other than a couple disagreements here and there we don't argue much in general.

I believe our issues stem from cultural differences but Im not sure what the best way to address them would be in order to be fair to us both.

Now I make 2.5x more than J makes and live a pretty minimalist life where I spend very little % of my income. J is an engineer so he has a decent income and his good with his finances overall for his age but he has an expensive hobby and he isn't as frugal as I am.

J doesn't like it when I spend any money on my family. He has different family values than I do and thinks my mother should be able to support herself the way her parents can.

His parents are upper/middle class where as my mother worked in age care to support 3 kids. She suffers from lower back/pain issues (herniated disks) that prevents her from continuing this work and well I'd rather not have her work when I can support her so easily. My youngest sister is still in high school and Ive offered to cover her tuition expenses as well as I'd love her to continue her education and succeed rather than worry about money.

These expenses are insignificant to me in the grand scheme of things and if we were to compare the expenses to J's "hobby" its not that much different yet somehow J doesn't feel comfortable with it.

Last week was my sisters birthday (she turned 15) so I got her a nice laptop as a present. J was upset that I would spend so much on my sister. This led to an argument where he confessed all of the things that bother him which includes :

me paying for :

my moms mortgage (about $1000/ month) +bills

Grocery shopping (I usually go shopping with mum 1-2x/month for groceries or anything else that is needed where I pay for everything and buy bulk pantry items for the month, protein to fill her freezer, items her and the kids might need such as shoes, stationery, clothing.

Cash that I give my mom from time to time

expensive gifts I buy - I purchase things that they need, I don't think buying a teddy bear does the cut considering both my siblings are essentially teenagers and need technology such as laptops for their daily lives.

He thinks I should let my mom go through charity if she needs it and thats what "charity" is for. I actually have seen my mom go through charity a few times over the years and each time it felt poo poo. back then I couldn't do anything about it but now I can, why on earth would I let my mother go through charities when I can support her comfortably with only 5-10% of my income ?. He thinks it shouldn't be my problem. This is where we differ because my families problems will always be MY PROBLEM.

Now Ive read up on budgeting and how we should have separate accounts for "fun/separate expenses" my issue isn't with that as such, its more I feel like J has started resenting me for what I do with my extra cash and I don't see how I can get through that resentment. Am I missing anything here ? what else can we do to prevent this type of resentment

tl;dr: fianc� isn't comfortable with the idea of me spending my extra cash on my family and has started resenting me for it

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:21

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Haifisch posted:

Me [26F] with my SO [30M] of 3 years. He resents me for financially supporting my family. He'd rather I let them go through charity

What's the hobby? I'm going to guess W40K or thereabouts.

I think if she wants to marry this selfish brat, she should 1000% make sure they have a clear prenup and separate finances.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:28

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Caganer posted:

one of my exes is a bonafied Human Rights Attorney� and yeah, tldr: the more someone makes themselves out to be holier than thou the more toxic they tend to be. i wish there was a non-loaded term other than "virtue signalling" to describe this, but i've met some real pieces of work who think just because they work for the UN or some poo poo they can be unpleasant and demanding all the time.

"Sanctimony" is "virtue signaling" for people who don't spend their entire lives griping on Twitter about ethics in video games journalism

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:34

Sai-kun: Feb 6, 2011; Is it ever going to be enough, to love another and be loved?

drat, i would love for my SO to make 2.5x what I do, support her family, and still have money to put in the bank.

how are you gonna get mad at someone you (hopefully) love for making money and loving their family?

fake edit: she only uses 10% of her income? she owns, he's a stupid insecure baby.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:38

Depressio111117: Oct 18, 2014; A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

dudeness posted:

Do you think he subconsciously divides things into 3's or does he do it on purpose?

A page back but :golfclap:

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:40

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

How do I [26M] get over a girl that completely humiliated me [26F]?Dating (self.relationships)

quote:

I'm at a summer program and was into this girl for the past few weeks. We hang out all the time and she calls me her "work husband" and holds my arm while we walk around together and that sorta stuff.

Tonight after a few drinks, while we were with a group of friends, they asked who we would date in our school program. They already knew I was into her so they asked her the question. She goes "SeriousAmphibian" and everyone was like yup, that makes sense. And then after a few moments she goes, well he's my joke answer, John is my real answer. I just laughed it off because of course I had nothing to say to that.

Now I know that I need to completely get over her without holding a grudge towards her. I considered us at least friends so it's just really hurtful that she said that. I know I need to get over her and not make it a big deal either. Any tips for doing that?

tl;dr: Girl I liked called me a joke in front of our friends and now I need to get over her.

Caganer fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Jul 15, 2018

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:10

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Holy Christ the fragility on display here. Ask the woman out, if she says no move on and don't be a creep. The worst thing these spineless idiots do is pine away for months and years and build up a big expectation and then when this expectation fails to materialize, they hold a grudge. It's a big self own but it repeated enough times to be a societal problem.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:19

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Hellblazer187 posted:

Holy Christ the fragility on display here. Ask the woman out, if she says no move on and don't be a creep. The worst thing these spineless idiots do is pine away for months and years and build up a big expectation and then when this expectation fails to materialize, they hold a grudge. It's a big self own but it repeated enough times to be a societal problem.

i think it's pretty clear she's noticed his crush, is unnerved, and made it clear she sees them as friends.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:22

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Haifisch posted:

That /r/intj thread was a mini goldmine to itself, now that I look.

Does this happen to you? (self.intj)

Replies:

why do intjs think they're so rare when they're like the #1 most common internet meyer brigs dweebs. You'd think in all their profound intellect they'd realize how overplayed their archtype was.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:43

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ArbitraryC posted:

why do intjs think they're so rare when they're like the #1 most common internet meyer brigs dweebs. You'd think in all their profound intellect they'd realize how overplayed their archtype was.

Because Meyers Briggs is a horoscope for men so only the absolute dumbest would use it.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:44

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# ? May 23, 2024 14:27

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Caganer posted:

i think it's pretty clear she's noticed his crush, is unnerved, and made it clear she sees them as friends.

While that is true its kinda messed up to say that in front of a bunch of people. :shrug:

He needed to nut up and ask her out but that ship has long sailed soooo he just needs to move on and learn a lesson from this.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 22:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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