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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
That's really quite sad. :smith:

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big trivia FAIL
May 9, 2003

"Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

i mean i just can't believe the dang balls on some people

i dont know anyone, anyone who would even try that

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

tbh a lot of times if you're gonna lie to someone it's easier to get away with saying something utterly ridiculous with total confidence in the hopes you'll confuse people into thinking they're the ones who are out of touch, vs. carefully constructing a plausible cover story and defending it. Maybe this guy works for a tech startup.

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Jul 23, 2018

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!
it's just the final stage of work wife y'all idk whats so surprising

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



My(28) husband(28) wants to separate. I'm 6 weeks away from giving birth.

quote:

My husband (28) just told me(28) that he wants to separate. We have a two year old, and I'm 6 weeks away from giving birth to our second.

He says he's been struggling for several months with this but did not mention this once to me. He doesn't think we're compatible in the long run. We haven't even been fully married a year. He thinks we have different views of family that can't be fixed.

I'm trying not to be hurt but I'm completely devastated.

Im feeling really hosed up and just really need some support I guess. Like where do I even go from here. How come I'm not important enough to try for. Why was I so blind sided. How can I do this without hating him or myself? How can I tell if he's just having a break down, or if this is really it.

He mentioned that there's so much he wants to do in life, but apparently that doesn't involve me. He says we're still family but I don't feel that way. I feel betrayed. We were supposed to be best friends. Best friends wouldn't do this to each other.

I feel stupid. Like I should have known, like we rushed our relationship. We've been together 4 years, I've been pregnant and hormonal for most of it.

How am I going to take care of a newborn by myself?

I feel so unloved and heartbroken. I've been having stomach pains since last night. I'm worried about what this will do to the baby.

Tl:dr: husband wants to separate. He feels like it's an inevitability, so why draw it out.

EDIT: Thank you for all the replies, I've read them all and I will be following through.

For those pointing out that we haven't been married or in a relationship long, we've been close friends since we were 19. I thought I knew him. I don't regret anything, I love my children and until recently (see two months) our lives were fine. The only thing we ever fought about consistently was his mother.

We have been to counselling once in regards to how his mother was affecting our relationship, not even two weeks ago.


My hormonal outbursts? I cried once because we were out of KD.

Was our relationship perfect? No. They never are, but I've always maintained that I would try every avenue possible to make things work before giving up.

I'm most upset that he didn't give me or our family that same chance.

UPDATE:

He has confirmed via text that it is in fact more important to him that our children know his mother than us being together. He has said he is ready to move on.

That's all there is to it I guess.

He’s left you for another woman. His mother.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
work friend with benefits keven

Propaganda Hour
Aug 25, 2008



after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Starbucks meth adventure

This is poetry.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

LadyPictureShow posted:

My(28) husband(28) wants to separate. I'm 6 weeks away from giving birth.


He’s left you for another woman. His mother.
I have no doubt the mom was a huge issue but just for the gossip i wanna hear exactly what the problem was. Like just MiL being overbearing and OP putting their foot down and saying she can't be in their life anymore?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

work friend with benefits keven
Sounds like the ex was surprised when it turned out her benefits package was even bigger than she was expecting.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

LadyPictureShow posted:

My(28) husband(28) wants to separate. I'm 6 weeks away from giving birth.


He’s left you for another woman. His mother.

Oh she did provide a bit more details in the comments:

quote:

His different views of family stem from his mother hating me, not coming to our wedding and me not being overly psyched about her as a result of this. I don't want our 2 year old to go on over nights with her and that is somehow our different views on family, to not let people treat you like poo poo because they're blood related.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



ArbitraryC posted:

I have no doubt the mom was a huge issue but just for the gossip i wanna hear exactly what the problem was. Like just MiL being overbearing and OP putting their foot down and saying she can't be in their life anymore?

Sounds like the ex was surprised when it turned out her benefits package was even bigger than she was expecting.

Not a whole lot much else to go on:

quote:

He's not one to be impulsive. So I feel like if I just accept it as real now I can get a head start in figuring out my life going forward... he has been supportive at times. It's just in the last while he has really poo poo the bucket on everything.

We already spoke about what would happen if we divorced. Felt pretty concrete.

His different views of family stem from his mother hating me, not coming to our wedding and me not being overly psyched about her as a result of this. I don't want our 2 year old to go on over nights with her and that is somehow our different views on family, to not let people treat you like poo poo because they're blood related

From a Mother in Laws post:

quote:

I'm having a rough go emotionally right now. My husband, brought our little one to see his mother, who has been pretty mean to us basically since I met her.

This woman refused to acknowledge my existence the first time I was out for brunch with them, which was incredibly awkward, she didn't come to our wedding, and basically cut my husband out of the family when he tried to stand up to her and that's just the start. She has me blocked on social media and it really loving sucks that she apparently still gets to see our daughter and there are NO consequences even though she's been absolutely horrible. My husband doesn't have a loving spine and I need help navigating through these poo poo waters.

quote:

I mean yes. It's the only thing we've ever truly fought about. And the way she treats her daughters is just as awful. The grandmother actually silent treatments my youngest SIL(23f), it's heartbreaking

quote:

He feels like just because she has been awful to us, doesn't mean she'll be awful to our little one and she has a right to know her grandmother. He left her with her for the day by herself. Honestly I wrote the post while I was quite distraught, but there is so much more that I should have included. I'll edit it now.

Man sounds like mommy has his spine.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
Husband (43M) and I (24F) have a rocky first year of marriage

spoilers: she uses a detangler, but her husband is "very sensitive to chemicals" and noticed this time and got steaming mad

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

My [29M] little brother [25M] showed up at my doorstep one day, has no intention of ever leaving

quote:

I want to preface this by saying I lived at my parents until I was 25 years old (sharing a room with my brother no less). I finished university and moved out immidiately, frankly I wanted to get away from my family and took a job 700 miles away. I finally felt like a normal human being for the first time in my life.

Then 5 weeks ago at around 9pm the doorbell rang. I didnt expect anyone so I looked out of the apartment window and see my brother down there with his luggage. He says our parents threw him out and he has nowhere to go. I was glad to see him so I said he can stay here as long as he likes (I thought that was just an expression), big mistake since he is still here and contributes NOTHING. He has no job, no outside hobbies and naturally doesnt know anyone here so he is home 24/7.

I'm in engineering so I work around 10 hours a day, when I come home the apartment looks like total crap. Dishes everywhere, his dirty clothes lying on the bathroom floor, even pee on the loving toilet seat.

This is what I loving ran away from and now im right back where I started. I have two sisters (aged 32 and 33) and none of them offer any help. I can understand that since both have families of their own already but I dont think its right to dump this on me.

I feel bad already for having thoughts like this because I love him, he is my brother and we were like best friends growing up. Thats why I cant bring this up with him. I told him to get a job, to help around or just clean after himself, he does it for a day and falls right back into his old habits. He has the Austrian equivalent of a GED so there is not much he can do jobwise but I work and have no time to help him.

My relationship with my parents is strained already and I cant really ask them to take a 25 year old back can I? But why am I suddenly responsible for a grown up? I feel like there is no escaping this situation, I dont feel comfortable in my own home anymore...

move out into the streets, it's your little brother's house now

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
Does she know "stay as long as you like" isnt legally binding? She can just tell him to shape up or piss off

Edit: I have no idea how I misread an M as F :psyduck:

Danaru fucked around with this message at 21:49 on Jul 23, 2018

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
He

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Husband (43M) and I (24F) have a rocky first year of marriage

spoilers: she uses a detangler, but her husband is "very sensitive to chemicals" and noticed this time and got steaming mad

sigh...

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Husband (43M) and I (24F) have a rocky first year of marriage

spoilers: she uses a detangler, but her husband is "very sensitive to chemicals" and noticed this time and got steaming mad

Should have married an even older guy.

Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Danaru posted:

Does she know "stay as long as you like" isnt legally binding? She can just tell him to shape up or piss off

Edit: I have no idea how I misread an M as F :psyduck:

Someone told OP the best advice. Simply tell bro he's got 30 days and tack on an official eviction notice to circumvent any tenant poo poo.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Should I (F21) tell my Fiancé (M25) that I've gotten rid of his books he lied about?

quote:

Before I begin, I want to say that I'm very hesitant to post this in fear of a unison response saying I'm over-reacting and/or being insecure. I do have insecurities, and I am actively working on those.

Anyway. My SO and I have been together for about 1.5 years and engaged for 5 months. About 5 months into our relationship, I was helping him to move into his new apartment (Still living separately at this time.) While moving things, I came across a box of books which had provocative anime girls on every cover. When I asked him what they were, he half-jokingly replied that "They're my waifu books." (Google waifu if you don't know what that is.)

Our relationship is very exclusive and old-fashioned. I wasn't too upset at the time, being that he had gotten those books before we got together, but I asked him to get rid of them. He complied and it didn't seem like a big deal.

Fast-forward a month later, I was helping to clean his apartment a bit when I came over, and I came across the box of books again. I was upset because he didn't get rid of them like he said he would, and I explained that my feeling were hurt. This time though, he got very defensive. He said the books were not pornographic and that there's no reason to get rid of them. (The books are in Japanese, which he is a native-speaker of and I only know a small amount) so I have no idea what was truly in them. Even if they aren't pornographic, the sexualized covers made me very uncomfortable and a bit hurt. By the end of it, he agreed, once again, that he would get rid of the books.

Now fast-forward to about 3 weeks ago as of today. He moved into my apartment with me, this time, the drat books show up at my house. I came across them while trying to put his things away while he was not home. I was very shocked to find them yet again, as he already said he got rid of them twice. I was so mad that I left the house and spent the rest of the day at my parents. When I came home that night, he had locked himself into "his" room. He stayed locked in there for about 2 days, only coming out in the night when I was sleeping. I finally had to be the adult and talk first.

His response was basically, "Getting rid of the books won't solve the problem," and "I'll probably never read them anyway," and pretty much just blaming me for being insecure and "jealous" over some dumb anime books. I'm more hurt about the fact he lied to me (twice) and that he values some books over my feelings. I contribute so much to the relationship, cook for him, do all the cleaning and laundry, all while working and going to school. He does not financially support me. I really didn't think it was such an outrageous request. We ended up making up while not really actually solving anything.

The following week, I broke down and just took all the books to a second-hand store. It was driving me crazy to have them in the house. And that's where I am at now. I feel really bad about going behind his back, yet also justified because he lied to me in the first place. He has not noticed I got rid of them because they were stuffed in a box in the closet. Part of me feels like I should tell him what I did and part of me just wants this whole dumb thing to be over with.

This whole thing, I'm sure, sounds pretty stupid from the outside, but it's really the only thing we have fought over in our entire relationship. Should I tell him now, or wait and just hope he never finds out?

**TL;DR My Fiance lied about getting rid of some promiscuous books twice so I got rid of them behind his back. Now I don't know if I should tell him that I did or not. *\*

R/relationships: ‘They’re my Waifu books’

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

LadyPictureShow posted:

Should I (F21) tell my Fiancé (M25) that I've gotten rid of his books he lied about?


R/relationships: ‘They’re my Waifu books’
I don't think my fingers will let me type these words in the title box

Barudak
May 7, 2007

She doesnt know if theyre pronographic? Is the issue she cant see the pictures or does she not understand how books work?

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Barudak posted:

She doesnt know if theyre pronographic? Is the issue she cant see the pictures or does she not understand how books work?

Pornography can include explicit descriptions of things, such as via Japanese text.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Sorry Darlene but your gonna need to put in at least 20 more hours in the simulator before you can even think about operating a real book

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
I generally side against anime but good lord this lady was determined to torpedo her relationship over a box of manga, resorting to outright theft.

It's like the people who flip poo poo about their partner cheating on them by watching porn, except without there even being real women or porn involved

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't think my fingers will let me type these words in the title box

Nobody will hold it against you.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't think my fingers will let me type these words in the title box

That's what the copy & paste function is for.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Hot take: it's absolutely worth making fun of someone for having those books but a really weird place to put a line-in-the-sand ultimatum, and holy shamoley was literally stealing them a Hard Move

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Subjunctive posted:

Pornography can include explicit descriptions of things, such as via Japanese text.

Google translate works through the camera and is accurate enough that you wont be wondering if it got confused when you read “His soaring manhood groomed her plumage with its fearsome beak”

Not that she didnt completely blow up her relationship over it.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I dunno man look I'm just trying to piece this mystery together like everybody else.

Try thinking outside the box.

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012
in the room where you sleep

LadyPictureShow posted:

Should I (F21) tell my Fiancé (M25) that I've gotten rid of his books he lied about?


R/relationships: ‘They’re my Waifu books’

this is a nightmare made flesh

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.
This loving guy couldn't even be bothered to follow through enough on his lie to make it so she couldn't easily find the box of books three times. IMO he deserved to have his masturbation material hauled off to Goodwill.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

LadyPictureShow posted:

Should I (F21) tell my Fiancé (M25) that I've gotten rid of his books he lied about?


R/relationships: ‘They’re my Waifu books’

really sad I can't find this one, wanna read those comments.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
Can't you just download the books for free, on line? Big boxes of porn are very eighties.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

HIJK posted:

this is a nightmare made flesh

Made print, really

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Can't you just download the books for free, on line? Big boxes of porn are very eighties.

Anyone can have a hard drive, it takes a auteur to have a collection.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



ArbitraryC posted:

really sad I can't find this one, wanna read those comments.

They were dull anyway. Mostly ‘those were not yours to give away’.

DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


people who consider watching porn equivalent to cheating are some of the most pathetic people in existence and this woman manages to be even more pathetic since the object of her jealousy isn’t even another person

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

If the genders were reversed it would be dude flipping out about the shirtless pirates on his girlfriend's romance novels. Which has probably happened.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

people who consider watching porn equivalent to cheating are some of the most pathetic people in existence and this woman manages to be even more pathetic since the object of her jealousy isn’t even another person

Super Double Busty Avenger Makoto-Chan is a person, although her porpotions may only vaguely resemble one.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

P-Mack posted:

If the genders were reversed it would be dude flipping out about the shirtless pirates on his girlfriend's romance novels. Which has probably happened.

ask and ye shall receive!

Me (32m)- wife (29f) addicted to reading romance novels -- I need advice badly...

Married 7 years with boys 8 and 4. Pardon the inept stream of consciousness that follows.....

I am a working professional with great job, and she just graduated nursing school. Started working at hospital 3 months ago. Nursing school for me was rough enough, and I was extremely supportive in any way I could be. Cooking cleaning and keeping her focused on studies and tests while I worked and ran the house. Anyone who has seen a nurse graduate knows the time and effort it takes for those men and women

I am so proud of her living her dream after raising our children to school age. She is a wonderful woman mother and now RN.

In my non-medical background opinion, shas always been addicted to some formed media...and it has been a point of contention most of our marraige.

When she stayed at home, much of her day consisted of simply watching crappy tv and neglecting the house. This evolved into surfing on our laptop while laundry and chores piled up weekly. I would be the instigator of doing routine chores like dishes, laundry, and normal cleaning. Internet history would reveal hours each day on YouTube loops watching Dawson's creek snips and things of the like. She got into Facebook loops and just overall Internet surfing for hours daily.

This cycle has been the instigator of many argurments, brought on almost exclusively by me. As up until 3 months ago, I have been the sole provider for our family. Purchased a modest home and newer cars while remaining debt free (mortgage and 1 car note)

Recently this year it came to a head. The owner of my company sent 20 of our employees and spouses to an inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic. The first real eye opening event occurred when I asked of she would walk with me to the beach. Granted, this was our first time out of the country and no kids!! She says no, that she would rather read her Kindle by the pool. It may seem minor, but my feeling were hurt. Choosing a Kindle romance novel over savoring a memory making once in a life time experience of being with your husband and best friend lover at a tropical resort. Holding hands and looking into the sea would have been perfect, seeing as how I had proposed on a beach 8 years prior, but I digress.

Since that time (March) the reading of nook books has become increasingly worse. Specifically the few months...

Every day off (4 a week) she does nothing but read all day. She will do as little as possible around the house, and purchases 1-3 books per day. It's not the cost that bothers me, it's the subject matter and expecting me to oick up household slack . If I sat in front of the kids and watched porn with a plot, ignored her and house.. and did this daily - I would assume most ladies would take some issue.

I have access to her library and 90 percent of the books contain explicit sex. Like all the books are some 50 shades spin off type crap. I AM NO PRUDE...love me some dirty porn with her and without her. My problem lies in the fact that these books are consuming her - causing me to feel neglected and spilling over into our marraige and life. I get home and have to cook clean get kids ready while she sits inches from her screen and eyes. This has all been conveyed to her...

I have expressed to her since our trip how I feel this is an attack on our marraige and she blows it off completely. I sent her sent her articles and she tells me I am being ridiclous. Does not take what I am saying seriously at all. I am constantly hurt almost daily and it shows. No matter what I say or how hard I try - neither her behavior nor my feelings are changing towards this topic. I have yelled cried pouted talked spoken written stormed around ignored her and now feel like counseling. ..

I feel insecure about our relationship and marraige of she feels she needs to retreat during all waking hours to a fantasy world where the guy is ripped and intriguing and the sex is part of everybook ( I am average build witty as hell and have a semi sordid past enough to be interesting compared to most I think, no porn star but hold my own on kissing foreplay and positions)

So I have retreated to the Internet as my outlet. She goes to bed early only to fall asleep with the drat phone inches from her face. I surf and surf only to become me resentful. Found some subreddits and said effit, I am going to put this out there and see what feedback follows.

Looking for any replies, could use some serious and not to liven my spirits and bring perspective. Really want to know if anyone has experienced anything similar.

Always thought this was a problem not specific to the ages we are currently in.

Anniversary night was surprising and romantic for her. Went all out to welcome her home from her shift with a vegetarian sexy meal with Brazilian jazz playing candles lit and great sex. Flowers candy balloons chocolate covered strawberries and moscsto champagne....to wake up alone in bed to find her in the garage on her phone reading at 3am. I stormed out the following morning wondering how will I ever compete with these books.

That was 5 days ago...and after me explaining why my feelings were hurt, she still does not see it.?

Tl;Dr feel my wife is choosing fantasy over real life --- books over marraige

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

P-Mack posted:

If the genders were reversed it would be dude flipping out about the shirtless pirates on his girlfriend's romance novels. Which has probably happened.

Too many relationships have been lost to Fabio

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Mushmouth
Feb 21, 2004
Urban Tumbleweed

Pick posted:

No but it's a sickness only the sufferer can heal, and they need to, because it's ruthlessly contagious. A depressed person is a person who has become completely self-involved and not even in a hypothetically productive, coke-field kind of way.

Okay this is completely wacky, but this thread from eight grbjillion years ago and a couple comments to this effect got me on the horn to get my brain meats sorted, so thank you.
Plus reading about sadbrains from reddit kinnnnda helped me get over myself in a few ways. Thanks, thread. :D

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