/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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CerealCrunch: Jun 23, 2007

phasmid posted:

"Fluid-bonding". Ugh. Somehow these people find a way to make something natural sound like a gross, despotic new age cult rite.

Why can't they use the more classy "raw-dogging"?

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:48

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# ? May 9, 2024 10:42

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I've [25 F] become a lot more successful in my career, than my boyfriend [25 M] has in his. He got really jealous and nasty about it while drunk.

quote:

My boyfriend and I are both engineers. We've been together since college (6 years). I always thought he was the smarter one, and I think he did too. He was the type to live and breathe engineering, and I was the type to want other hobbies, and really not immerse myself as much. But, I've ended up more successful, and he's jealous.

I got into engineering when I was directionless in college, and was thinking "Oh poo poo, I'm gonna need money... I guess I'll give this engineering thing a try, it apparently pays well and I'm OK at math." Of course I worked hard, but it wasn't like my passon or anything. I just jumped into it because I was scared of being broke after college.

And I got my job at a company I'd never heard of basically thinking "Sweet, they gave my dumb rear end an offer, I guess I'll give it a try. I need a job."

And somehow I lucked into doing something super interesting to me, with flexible hours, good pay, and lots of travel to other countries. The work travel even includes lots of time for sightseeing, because I am working on systems where the customers really want to minimize down-time, so they won't shut stuff down for us to work with for too long. So sometimes I'll travel for several weeks, and only spend half of those days working. So I'm getting to see a lot of the world without paying for any of it, and I love it.

My coworkers and boss think pretty highly of me too, though I suspect a big part of that is that I'm more of a "people person" than some engineers, and I've been told by a lot of people that I'm very easy to work with.

On the other hand, my boyfriend was a super dedicated student, plus all his extracurriculars were related to his studies. He understood a lot of our academic subjects much more in depth than I do, and his studies came more easily to him.

But when he graduated, he struggled finding work at all, let alone something he enjoyed. He moved in with his parents for 6 months when job searching, hated his first job, and continued job searching till he found somewhere else.

The place he works now is a more well known company, but he basically says they don't trust him with anything other than menial data entry stuff; there are a few long term employees who boss everyone else around, and there's a lot of turnover of new hires. His manager is a hardass about his hours, and his job doesn't involve travel.

He's applying elsewhere, still, but not getting too many interviews.

The jealousy issue came up slowly, then all at once. For a while, he'd been saying stuff like "Isn't that nice for you" a little passive aggressively when I'd talk about something exciting happening at work. I thought he must just be frustrated with not having many perks to his job, so I tried to lay off stuff that sounded like bragging.

But then, we went to a party and got good and drunk. I was joking around with a friends and being self depricating, saying "Yeah I still cant believe they let my dumb rear end design [Thing my company makes]... Last week, I made a cup of coffee all over the ground because I forget to put a cup under the Keurig at work."

And then my boyfriend doubled down on my joke, quoting a couple dumb things I said in college when I was struggling with my studies. My friends started to cringe a little because it came off more insulting than funny.

In the walk home, I told him that what he'd said about me being dumb wasn't very nice. He said that I made the joke first, so he didn't get why I was so sensitive.

I told him that it's different coming from him, it sucks to hear your boyfriend joke about how dumb you are. I asked if he really thought I was dumb. He started by saying "No, but..." And then continued on this rant that kind of shocked me. I'll summarize it, because I was too drunk to remember his exact words.

He thought my job seemed like it was out of my skillset, and I didn't have the technical skills to do what I've been doing properly, from what he'd seen of my understanding of stuff in college. He said I don't do well under pressure also. He started to wonder to himself if I had been hired because there's a push to get more women in engineering. Overall it sounded like he thought I was undeserving of my job.

I cut him off there, and said "If any of that was true, why would they still keep me around? And pay a poo poo ton in airline fees to fly me to do on-site work? Nobody's gonna do that for someone dumb as bricks."

He then started to ramble about the stuff he knew better than me, and why was he strugging to start his career when I was succeeding?

I started to realize he was being bitter because he was jealous. I sent him home to sleep because I didn't want to argue more drunk. And that's the last we talked about it. I've been trying to think through whether it's something I can get past.

On one hand, I see why he's frustrated in his career. But I hate how he tried to tear me down as a result.

TLDR - My boyfriend's way smarter than me academically, but I've had more career success so far. He insulted my intelligence, I think out of jealousy.

quote:

I think you have a point about this kind of thing affecting self esteem. It's always felt like he was the smart one, so I am sometimes surprised by myself, with how much I can accomplish, or surprised by my successes... Because I still have that pesky little feeling that I'm stupid.

My boyfriend is doing more online application than networking, he kinda looks down on "schmoozing" as he puts it. That might be running his chances honestly.

I personally got my job through what he thinks of as schmoozing; I met a recruiter at a college career fair, and talked to a bunch of employees at the career fair before I ever applied. And I think that helped me stand out from the "faceless" online applications

Another STEMlord thwarted by the concept of soft skills

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:50

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I just read "fluid-bonding" as a hilarious mixup of the lube and the krazy glue that sex weirdos have begun taking as some kind of relationship milestone, and I will hear no um actuallies to the contrary

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:50

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

CerealCrunch posted:

Why can't they use the more classy "raw-dogging"?

The same person used both, I think.

Nonetheless, at least raw-dogging sounds playful if immature and stupid. Not like some sterile insemination technique used by gray aliens.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:51

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

phasmid posted:

The same person used both, I think.

Nonetheless, at least raw-dogging sounds playful if immature and stupid. Not like some sterile insemination technique used by gray aliens.

no you are immature and stupid

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:53

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

hawowanlawow posted:

no you are immature and stupid

gently caress

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:55

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

hawowanlawow posted:

no you are immature and stupid

Fluid bonding sounds dumb, even though raw dogging sounds dumb too.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 19:56

CerealCrunch: Jun 23, 2007

We need to come up with some new terms. Cum-connection, nexus of goo, etc...

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:01

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i knew a girl in college who told us that god told her she was destined to be a pop star. we stopped talking awhile after, so i'm not sure how that prophesy went.

God�s spell check was broken, now she does scat porn

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:02

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

I met a couple people like that guy when I was in college and they get very very bitter when it turns out you need to play the game. Not sure where these fuckers get this idea that they're entitled to success by virtue of their intellectual prowess. They never say it outright but they see themselves as naturally superior so when everything doesn't get handed to them they throw a tantrum. They're upset that they're not given special treatment, not unlike a child.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:04

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jim Barris posted:

I met a couple people like that guy when I was in college and they get very very bitter when it turns out you need to play the game. Not sure where these fuckers get this idea that they're entitled to success by virtue of their intellectual prowess. They never say it outright but they see themselves as naturally superior so when everything doesn't get handed to them they throw a tantrum. They're upset that they're not given special treatment, not unlike a child.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:07

Barudak: May 7, 2007

CerealCrunch posted:

We need to come up with some new terms. Cum-connection, nexus of goo, etc...

Mint in Box, In Box, No Box, Damaged

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:12

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Salutations, brood-mother. I am RX7-Blue and it is now time for fluid-bonding. Initiate coitus!

I only do this with you, baby.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:15

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

There is a definite undertone of "if you knuckle down and produce great work everyone will see its innate quality and line up to promote you for it, trying to sell yourself is sleazy/self-aggrandizing" to a lot of the bootstraps poo poo people tell kids and I'd imagine your typical socially avoidant proto-STEMlord would latch onto the idea that being outgoing is somehow morally tainted like a lifeline.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:15

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Nail Rat posted:

I'm sorry but if you're 5 3 and 280 you are too fat. That said her boyfriend was a literal rear end in a top hat.

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:25

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

feedmegin posted:

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

Good god. 480 lbs? You're a feeder, aren't you?

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:29

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

feedmegin posted:

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

you're affirming that yeah, 5'3 280 is totally workable and if you even hint to the lady that her weight may be negatively affecting the activities, it's because you're not man enough to handle all 300 lbs lmao

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:31

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

"Don't come at a fat chick with your small dick. I know this from experience" - forums poster feedmegin

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:34

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Leon Einstein posted:

Good god. 480 lbs? You're a feeder, aren't you?

Feed Me A'gin

lol

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:36

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

I don't want to sound like a dick but 280 at 5'3 is loving disgusting. Ugh. I'm glad that apparently that does it for somebody out there to the point where a dude just posted how he hosed someone nearly twice as heavy but I just don't get it.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:38

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

feedmegin posted:

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

What is it like having to roll your partners in flour and finding the wet spot in order to have sex?

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:40

Apprentice Dick: Dec 1, 2009

Kuros posted:

What is it like having to roll your partners in flour and finding the wet spot in order to have sex?

That's assuming the liquids escaping are related to sex.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:41

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

it's not that hard guys, just pick a fold and go to town :rolleyes:

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:43

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I think legally you have to refer to that situation as makin' bacon

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:43

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

booty for the sophisticated and elegant women of insatiable appetite

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:45

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

CheesyDog posted:

booty for the sophisticated and elegant women of insatiable appetite

lol, well done

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:51

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

feedmegin posted:

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

The more I think about it, the guy she was "cheating" with may have just been a sex engineer who she hired to verify the boyfriend's claim that she was too fat for doggystyle.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:54

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I mean, good job finding someone to lay that pipe and your boyfriend is certainly a Vienna sausage dicked rear end in a top hat but I'm just not gonna elide over the physical facts here

# ? Jul 24, 2018 20:58

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

feedmegin posted:

I've banged chicks 200lbs heavier than that and there was no problem. His dick was also v small. As evidenced by the other guy doing just fine apparently.

hands down the most horrendous unintentional boast I think I've ever seen

# ? Jul 24, 2018 21:06

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

CheesyDog posted:

booty for the sophisticated and elegant women of insatiable appetite

# ? Jul 24, 2018 21:19

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

The thing about poly relationships, is the sort of people who aren't in it for drama/terrible person reasons are the sort of people who don't constantly talk about their relationships. Same as how people in monogamous relationships that aren't full of drama don't usually go on about them to everyone in sight. Personally, if I was looking for that sort of drama, I'd just date a married man, seems a lot easier. :shrug:

# ? Jul 24, 2018 21:29

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

[Pennsylvania] SO claims keeping track of our sex life in a text document is illegal, threatens legal action

quote:

My SO and I have been in a multiple-month-long rough patch, where the main focus is that she feels we don't have enough sex. Specifically, she felt that I didn't initiate enough. We eventually came to the last resort decision of designating specific days of the week as "sex nights".

So I would have something to reference (i.e. she couldn't blame me for not initiating), I recorded the date and a short description of what happened for several months. Examples include:

6/6/18- initiated, denied

6/9/18- fighting about something unrelated

6/13/18- had sex

6/16/18- she was sick

Eventually, she calls me out again, and I reference the list I made, to show her that I had initiated 7-8 times in a span of a few weeks, and she had denied me every time.

She blows up, saying that this list I have made is illegal, and she could take legal action against me. She claims that this counts as illegally recording her, despite the fact that it is text, not audio or video. I'm trying to figure out if her argument holds any water. I was using a notepad app on my phone, simply recording dates with a few words, did not make it public, was only for my personal use.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

# ? Jul 24, 2018 22:26

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Ah yes, that old chestnut of "if someone gets really mad at you for simply describing what they are doing, it may not be the description that is the problem"

# ? Jul 24, 2018 22:28

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

That's a weird behavior though, but it speaks to the terminality of that relationship that it was ever considered a necessary measure.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 22:34

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

This reminded me of an E/N dead bedroom goon that was famous for having like a sex spreadsheet that just just empty for months on end with one sad handjob for his bday or something somewhere in there.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 22:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

yeah they waited for marriage...surprise

# ? Jul 24, 2018 22:43

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

CheesyDog posted:

I think legally you have to refer to that situation as makin' bacon

Great. Somewhere around here, I read the phrase �pancake tits� which I don�t - and don�t WANT to - understand and now �makin� bacon pancake tits� is stuck in my head.

Thanks. Thanks for that, brain.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 23:00

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

ArbitraryC posted:

This reminded me of an E/N dead bedroom goon that was famous for having like a sex spreadsheet that just just empty for months on end with one sad handjob for his bday or something somewhere in there.

I wanna see the spreadsheet

# ? Jul 24, 2018 23:11

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Ending a relationship at Burning Man owns. At first it seemed traumatic, but you can bounce back and be hooking up with someone literally 10 minutes later.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 23:17

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# ? May 9, 2024 10:42

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Bust Rodd posted:

Ending a relationship at Burning Man owns. At first it seemed traumatic, but you can bounce back and be hooking up with someone literally 10 minutes later.

Unfortunately, the emergent culture demands that you shall repeat this same drama year after year forever, for you shall become like Sisyphus.

# ? Jul 24, 2018 23:26

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