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Or you can just take the other kid to fun stuff when the other kid is away.
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Jul 28, 2018 17:47
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life is a joke posted:What did they do? I see people saying they did right lol but I can’t figure out how to un-nest the Twitter comments to see they reply. 
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Jul 28, 2018 17:47
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Leon Einstein posted:Or you can just take the other kid to fun stuff when the other kid is away. Potentially it's a wake up call to do more fun stuff with your kids. But potentially it's more to do with the fact that "cool dad" is basically associated with ONLY fun stuff and late bedtime or whatever and is basically just lax as gently caress, which no surprise, kids love compared to regular normal parenting. Spitefully taking one child to different things than the brother because you're leery of "cool dad" is just a great way to build a hosed up dynamic of my REAL son vs the OTHER son (which is already happening to an extent).
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Jul 28, 2018 17:51
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:presented: a ticking bomb quote:The issue is that Jake's father has committed to doing “fun tasks” with his son. He often takes them to the movies, to sports games, amusement parks, bowling, family parties, etc.. I honestly don’t know where he gets the money to do this but it seems like EVERY TIME they go out he takes him to do something. Idiot man confused by how someone could structure their financials and time to spend 2 weekends a month doing fun things.
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Jul 28, 2018 17:56
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yeah there's a lot of stupidity on all sides
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Jul 28, 2018 18:01
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It is pretty bullshit to have to do all the tough day to day parenting and then have Captain Irresponsible swoop in every other weekend to play cool dad and give the kid back all wound up.
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Jul 28, 2018 18:02
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Shnag posted:Yeah it isn't black and white in that regard. Having male friends? Thats fine, but pawing on them and having them obviously into her, not fine. What behavior is acceptable would vary from person to person. On one hand, you might have a woman cut off from family friends and isolated and abused, which is not acceptable, on the other hand, there is some poor smuck ok with his SO spending time with ex's because "You control who i am friends with!", or the earlier story in the thread about 'skinship' where the poor guys wife was all over guys right in front of him. That's not the same as telling someone they can't have any friends of the other gender. Or accusing them of loving every male they're friends with. If you can't trust your partner to the point you feel they can't have any friends of a certain gender, at all, ever, just leave them because they're a poo poo person who doesn't respect you.
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Jul 28, 2018 18:11
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tactlessbastard posted:It is pretty bullshit to have to do all the tough day to day parenting and then have Captain Irresponsible swoop in every other weekend to play cool dad and give the kid back all wound up. quote:[–]marcusbenton [score hidden] an hour ago
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Jul 28, 2018 18:18
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and now it's suggested that he let the guy become the fun dad for his kid too, which his wife and the guy and the kids already discussed, without him
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Jul 28, 2018 18:48
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Obviously take a few Fridays off and take the boys to something fun together, and let Bio Dad deal with getting homework and report cards done. Then suggest how much fun a Disney trip would be to the boys. If you can’t beat’em, join’em.
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Jul 28, 2018 18:55
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tactlessbastard posted:It is pretty bullshit to have to do all the tough day to day parenting and then have Captain Irresponsible swoop in every other weekend to play cool dad and give the kid back all wound up. Yeah reading into the OP's comments more he realizes he needs to restructure his schedule so he can spend more time on weekends with them. Most hosed up part is that OP's wife talked about sending his son to some deadbeat fuckhead loser's place to avoid conflict or try to "heal" the situation and then guilt trip him using the kid he raised. gently caress that.
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Jul 28, 2018 18:55
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lol I like how the peanut gallery just condemns the guy with no other information than "didn't pay for a while" and "mom was ok with it". Like the latter part is the real kicker. Sure he could just be a deadbeat and for some reason she's being a doormat about it I guess. Or maybe he was in a rough place for a while and she wasn't struggling so she let him slide? Maybe dad never even knew about the kid until he was six years old and the mom didn't expect him to pay during that period. Like there are probably a dozen realistic scenarios where he's not an rear end in a top hat. We have no idea one way or the other, but even though the mom approves of the situation people just default to Kill All Men in these scenarios lol.
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Jul 28, 2018 18:59
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More to the point as a step parent you are going to have to deal with 'you're not my REAL dad/mom' sometimes even if you DID raise the kid from a young age. Especially when the kid is 8 and suddenly biodad has swooped back into his life and is doing fun stuff with him while you've got to make sure he does his homework and eats his veggies. Nobody in this situation has to be a shithead for there to be resentment, especially because 8 year olds don't have the tact or emotional maturity of an older person yet. Things can suck without someone being The Bad Guy.
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Jul 28, 2018 19:13
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I'd count the mom as a bad guy for discussing it with everyone but the OP first, essentially making sure he can't say no without torpedoing his relationship with his son
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Jul 28, 2018 19:37
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stage an elaborate heist-gone-wrong to frame the fun dad for bank robbery
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Jul 28, 2018 19:44
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Danaru posted:I'd count the mom as a bad guy for discussing it with everyone but the OP first, essentially making sure he can't say no without torpedoing his relationship with his son yeah I think at this point OP is a bit stuck unless he just wants to nuke everything, imo he should let the brothers stay together and enjoy their time together as a family and hopefully as his kids grow they'll realize what he did was much harder than taking them to the carnival every other week. Mom probably is either already loving her ex or close to it tho so rip that relationship.
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Jul 28, 2018 20:16
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The guy really has no choice, the relationship is toast if he doesn't give in to what his wife wants in the long run. Probably shouldn't have married a woman that used to let criminals use her as a cum dumpster. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 28, 2018 20:16
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Chomp8645 posted:lol I like how the peanut gallery just condemns the guy with no other information than "didn't pay for a while" and "mom was ok with it". Lol did you ever think that the scenario I made up happened? Bet you feel bad now. Checkmate libs.
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Jul 28, 2018 20:18
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Chomp8645 posted:lol I like how the peanut gallery just condemns the guy with no other information than "didn't pay for a while" and "mom was ok with it". There's actually a lot of information there, such as him having been arrested constantly and also wanting, specifically, to come back into his son's life Like, the scenario you're proposing is loving bonkers, why in the hell would he try to come back into the life of a girl he dated six loving years ago who broke up with and then moved an hour away from him if there's no son involved? There is no realistic scenario where he's not an rear end in a top hat, he's a deadbeat gently caress who decided to wander back in to his son's life after years of being absent, and it's a god drat nonsensical take to not understand the difference between him wanting to have a relationship with his biological son(Who he abandoned, which makes him trash, but whatever)and a completely unrelated child who he had no hand in raising Like seriously, it's crazy that people are all on board for this dude just handing his own son over to the deadbeat
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Jul 28, 2018 20:39
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I do like the idea of a doormat, in the relationship thread of all places, is unrealistic.
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Jul 28, 2018 20:42
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mostly it just bums me out that it seems like even his wife is falling into the fun dad, stable dad dichotomy, the ex is the fun one who makes the kids happy and gets to hide his stress and actual problems from her and "changed his life due to a revelation", and if the husband pushes back he plays into that dynamic, and if he doesn't then the ex just cements his role as "fun, and cool, and sorry the 3 of you have to go back to rule-dad now"
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Jul 28, 2018 21:45
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In all reality she probably just wants a day of peace and quiet with both boys out of the house and this dude is loving it up.
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Jul 28, 2018 21:47
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FAGGY CLAUSE posted:In all reality she probably just wants a day of peace and quiet with both boys out of the house and this dude is loving it up. And there's of course no other way this could be arranged, in the universe, other than them going to hang out with her ex lmao
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Jul 28, 2018 21:49
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youre absolutely right
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Jul 28, 2018 21:52
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Was I [25F] wrong in asking my boyfriend [23M] to not go on his family trip? If you are so strapped that not eating for a week or sleeping in your car are options, you may want to rethink things.
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Jul 28, 2018 21:53
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Khazar-khum posted:If you are so strapped that not eating for a week or sleeping in your car are options, you may want to rethink things. REthink? Doubt any thinking was involved to begin with.
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Jul 28, 2018 21:58
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After finally catching up with this thread, I realize how many horrible people there are and I want to go yell at them all for being so drat stupid. How the human race hasn’t lemming-ed itself off a cliff by now is beyond me.
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Jul 28, 2018 22:03
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poo poo sucks. But hey if he does all the boring stuff and responsibilities, its still gonna turn out to be "fun dad" and dad. Like actual dad, the guy that raised you.
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Jul 28, 2018 22:11
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I (26M) am dating someone (22F) that is late to almost everything. It isn't improving and getting to the point that I don't want to see her anymore. It seems like such a stupid reason to break up. u/BeOnTimeJustOnce quote:We are not moving forward because basically I am holding back. She is late for everything, and when I say late she may be 15 minutes late or 3-4 hours past schedule. It's so drat frustrating and we talk about it and she says stuff like "that's just how I am, ill work on it, sorry" in a cutesy voice or sometimes she'll deny that she's always late. I took it that she would work on it but as it continues I've been worrying that she isn't serious or doesn't care. She always swears that she cares but it seems like she doesn't just because she doesn't seem to make much of an effort. He doesn’t want to give her an ultimatum, guys, but he doesn’t have a valid reason to break up either! Poor bastard. He’s going to be late for everything ever for the rest of his days. 
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Jul 28, 2018 22:24
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Agrikk posted:After finally catching up with this thread, I realize how many horrible people there are and I want to go yell at them all for being so drat stupid. It's not for lack of trying, I can tell you that!
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Jul 28, 2018 22:30
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Blade Runner posted:There's actually a lot of information there, such as him having been arrested constantly and also wanting, specifically, to come back into his son's life Can't really say I'm on board with it, opinion wise i don't think the wife should have let him back into the first kid's life either, just sue him for child support and keep things separate from outside of that. They had a stable household and now it's all thrown in the trash because she obviously still has feelings for her ex. Now that she's already pitting their second son against the actually a parent dad, there's really nothing he can do other than wreck his relationship with his son/wife if he doesn't wanna capitulate. There's no way his younger son is gonna be able to understand why he's not allowed to to go to arcades every other weekend with his brother and if OP puts his foot down he's just gonna wreck his relationship with his bio son and probably cause problems between the brothers. Wife already went behind his back over this so he's kinda stuck outside of just ending everything. It's not really much of an assumption to guess the reason why the wife is just dumping everything they have down the drain is because she's still after the one that got away, she clearly values the OP and her current life less than getting back involved with her ex. She wants the dependable dude to actually raise the kids while she has her cake and eats it too in an affair. It's win/win for her. There's p much no other explanation for her entangling their lives so badly when she had every option not to.
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Jul 28, 2018 22:36
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burial posted:I (26M) am dating someone (22F) that is late to almost everything. It isn't improving and getting to the point that I don't want to see her anymore. It seems like such a stupid reason to break up. I dont know what hes worried about, by the time she realizes he dumped her hell be dead from old age
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Jul 28, 2018 22:44
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ArbitraryC posted:Can't really say I'm on board with it, opinion wise i don't think the wife should have let him back into the first kid's life either, just sue him for child support and keep things separate from outside of that. They had a stable household and now it's all thrown in the trash because she obviously still has feelings for her ex. I can see her wanting to get back with the other guy, yeah. It's understandable for her to be willing for the kid to have a relationship with his biological father, but going this far with it is nonsensically overboard.
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Jul 28, 2018 22:53
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My boyfriend (20M) thinks his action (slapping me) is justifiable in this case? Do you agree?quote:In Holland, there is this game that my younger nieces taught me (they are 8/13 and I am 19): if you see a yellow car, you get the right to slap someone next to you. It’s supposed to be jokingly, not handprint hard slap, but it can hurt a little.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:24
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:My boyfriend (20M) thinks his action (slapping me) is justifiable in this case? Do you agree? i'm sure this has been been posted before. i'm getting déjà vu about some slap-related drama.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:26
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:My boyfriend (20M) thinks his action (slapping me) is justifiable in this case? Do you agree? Break up so he can have a girlfriend who doesn't slap him over and over when she sees a yellow car because she has the mental age of an eight year old and continues to find it funny.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:34
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lol I'm [28/m] kind of pissed at my girlfriend [24/f], am I in the wrong? Please help quote:So basically after a year of dating my relationships sex life has gotten stagnant as gently caress and we haven’t been doing it much, I tried everything to mix things up but she just isn’t putting in the effort. Well finally a couple months ago she suggested we try watching porn together, I immediately accepted as I was so happy she finally seemed to care.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:37
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:lol Man this new season of Black Mirror is kinda lame.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:42
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Hello Ketene posted:I can feel my love and respect for my parents slipping away due to my mother being the victim of multiple scams and my father’s passivity. I feel guilty and angry - AT THEM. How to move forward? Parents dumb so what
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Jul 28, 2018 23:44
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:lol Haha I like how he gets to make new videos but still has to have the old ones playing while they make it. Like it'll become a Matryoshka doll of homemade porn, until they break up and her next boyfriend is forced to watch videos of her and her ex BF loving, with another video of her getting plowed in the background of that one, etc.
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Jul 28, 2018 23:52
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