Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

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My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

It's a novel way to commit suicide, I'll give you that.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 09:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2024 00:25

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Transport for London bans "offensive" funeral ads

# ? Aug 2, 2018 09:40

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

bitterandtwisted posted:

Transport for London bans "offensive" funeral ads

I don't understand what message this ad is supposed to convey. Dying is like surfing? Coffins are fun? Surfing is dangerous? What's the link between surfing and funeral planning?

# ? Aug 2, 2018 10:29

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Tiggum posted:

I don't understand what message this ad is supposed to convey. Dying is like surfing? Coffins are fun? Surfing is dangerous? What's the link between surfing and funeral planning?

There's a slight visual similarity between coffins and surfboards.

That's it, that's the message. You're going to die. Arrange your funeral with us.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 10:33

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Strudel Man posted:

There's a slight visual similarity between coffins and surfboards.

That's it, that's the message. You're going to die. Arrange your funeral with us.

I love the '870'C'

# ? Aug 2, 2018 10:42

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Count Uvula posted:

Vantablack, a pigment that can only be made in a lab by arranging carbon nanotubes. There are similar lab-made pigments whose differences are probably imperceptible to the human eye, so vantablack being the darkest pigment known to man is only really useful if you need it for more scientific purposes.

umalt posted:

Said artist is Anish Kapoor, who is responsible for the Bean in Chicago; and has a very public feud with Stuart Semple.

Note that Vantablack isn't actually a paint, and Stuart Semple makes the blackest actual paint you can buy, and Anish Kapoor is just a dick.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 12:54

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

BRB; coating the inside of my telescope with BLACK 2.0.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 13:21

Living Image: Apr 24, 2010; HORSE'S ASS

Krispy Wafer posted:

Rolling Stones member Bill Wyman sent a cease and desist letter to a local music writer whose birth name was Bill Wyman telling him he couldn't use that name even though Bill Wyman isn't even Rolling Stones' Wyman's real name.

Katy Perry also tried this: http://www.mtv.com/news/1614059/katy-perry-sues-australian-fashion-designer-katie-perry/

# ? Aug 2, 2018 13:41

AFewBricksShy: Jun 19, 2003; of a full load.

mllaneza posted:

I used to work with a guy named Dave Matthews. He headlined a (good) blues band. Lucky for him, he was performing long before the famous Dave Matthews came around. He says he was very polite when the C&D letter arrived. Yes, he kept performing as himself.

My sister knew a guy named Stephen Colbert. He didn't get sued or anything, but he did let down a bunch of people when he checked into a hotel somewhere in the midwest, they had welcome banners and everything.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 14:18

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Coffin surfboards are rad as hell

# ? Aug 2, 2018 14:21

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

haha the BBC cropped the full image

# ? Aug 2, 2018 14:34

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

That's fantastic. I applaud their creativity and boo those getting all worked up about it.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 14:47

Chas McGill: Oct 29, 2010; loves Fat Philippe

Yeah, that's a good ad

# ? Aug 2, 2018 20:51

JacquelineDempsey: Aug 6, 2008; Women's Circuit Bender Union Local 34

AFewBricksShy posted:

My sister knew a guy named Stephen Colbert. He didn't get sued or anything, but he did let down a bunch of people when he checked into a hotel somewhere in the midwest, they had welcome banners and everything.

When I graduated for my MA, I opened the program and saw that Donald Sutherland was speaking. Holy poo poo, how did I not hear about this? Turns out the head of some frozen food company is also named Donald Sutherland, and was giving the intro speech for the MBA class. Boooo.

Back to bad trademarking killing your brand: there's a great episode of Kitchen Nightmares that illustrates it. In Baltimore, people call each other "hon" like "y'all" or "yins". Woman opens a restaurant and calls it Hon. Good move.
Turns out she wasn't interested in serving good food as much as selling tacky merch like mugs and t-shirts and bumper stickers with a "hon" theme. She trademarks "hon", and starts sending out c&d's to totally unrelated Baltimore businesses also using "hon". Bad move.
She turns to Ramsay for help, absolutely baffled as to why the community hates her. (Also didn't help that her food sucked and the decor was, well, a nightmare.) Ramsay convinces her to not only apologize but state that she was legally giving up the trademark on a local news station.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 21:25

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

JacquelineDempsey posted:

When I graduated for my MA, I opened the program and saw that Donald Sutherland was speaking. Holy poo poo, how did I not hear about this? Turns out the head of some frozen food company is also named Donald Sutherland, and was giving the intro speech for the MBA class. Boooo.

When I was like 16 I was working one of my first jobs and I was being a cashier for two days at another branch I was unfamiliar with so I was already a bit stressed and some old dude asked to use the bathroom and I was like no, sorry. And the manager fell all over himself to apologize to the random customer and escorted him to the bathroom. Obviously, that man was Donald Sutherland but I didn't know who the gently caress he was at the time.

Fuckers should have to follow the same rules as everyone else even if they're famous. :colbert:

# ? Aug 3, 2018 00:18

duckmaster: Sep 13, 2004; Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

The Bloop posted:

When I was like 16 I was working one of my first jobs and I was being a cashier for two days at another branch I was unfamiliar with so I was already a bit stressed and some old dude asked to use the bathroom and I was like no, sorry. And the manager fell all over himself to apologize to the random customer and escorted him to the bathroom. Obviously, that man was Donald Sutherland but I didn't know who the gently caress he was at the time.

Fuckers should have to follow the same rules as everyone else even if they're famous.

I read a story about the owner of a small chain of Indian restaurants (I think it was in Aberdeen in Scotland) who was standing at the door doing his usual meet and greet poo poo when a hefty man in a suit came in, flashed some sort of ID and said he was with the bodyguard of Prince Charles (the Queens son and heir to the throne) and asked for a table for him and his guest plus a couple of tables nearby for the bodyguards. The owner said he had no tables available; the bodyguard was quite perplexed by this and said, "But it's Prince Charles!" to which the owner said, "Well I'm not asking my customers to move, he should have booked!".

Prince Charles was sent packing, and quite right too.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 01:00

IShallRiseAgain: Sep 12, 2008; Well ain't that precious?

Bonus points for it being an Indian restaurant he was kicked out of.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 02:18

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

Len posted:

I think GamesWorkshop did something like that with "space marine" which is why they got renamed Adeptus Astartes and the imperial guard became the Astra Militarum

Yeah, every codex book released after the trademark incident has switched to the ~lore~ names instead of the older "Codex: Imperial Guard" ones

It's even sillier because IIRC the author they were going after isn't some notable person or anything, they're just somebody who self-publishes SFF novels about humans and furries in space. Somebody looking for 10 foot tall space marines in a grim and dark future where there is only war probably isn't going to be confused by a book called "Spots the Space Marine."

More recently there has been "Cockygate" where a romance author has attempted to trademark that word:
https://www.theverge.com/2018/7/16/17566276/cockygate-amazon-kindle-unlimited-algorithm-self-published-romance-novel-cabal

quote:

The lawyers carried with them full-color exhibits of the trademarks in context. First up, two shirtless men with stethoscopes, embracing a woman, with the words Her Cocky Doctors boldly printed below. Next: two shirtless men flanking a woman in a too-big firefighter�s jacket, with the words Her Cocky Firefighters emblazoned in the same font.

�What is in the content of Her Cocky Firefighters?� asked the judge, surveying the exhibits.

�It appears to be a male-female-male romance,� said a lawyer for one of the defendants. �Beyond that, I imagine it involves one or two of the male characters is a firefighter.�

The judge looked over Her Cocky Doctors. �Two male figures. One seems to be wearing a stethoscope, indicating he is a doctor, but he is stripped to the waist.�

�Doesn�t look like my doctor, your Honor,� said the lawyer drily.

Another author, recently banned from Amazon for abusing the Kindle Unlimited page count system, has attempted to trademark "Dragon Slayer" and book cover designs where somebody is holding a weapon:
https://boingboing.net/2018/07/19/dragon-slayer-ii.html

# ? Aug 3, 2018 04:31

Waffleman_: Jan 20, 2011; I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

C.M. Kruger posted:

Yeah, every codex book released after the trademark incident has switched to the ~lore~ names instead of the older "Codex: Imperial Guard" ones

It's even sillier because IIRC the author they were going after isn't some notable person or anything, they're just somebody who self-publishes SFF novels about humans and furries in space. Somebody looking for 10 foot tall space marines in a grim and dark future where there is only war probably isn't going to be confused by a book called "Spots the Space Marine."

Yeah, because they knew better than to go after Fox re: Alien.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 04:52

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

That was about at the height of Games Workshop basically being a parody of a corporation with a cult of personality centred around the CEO, from what I hear. They changed the CEO recently and have been trying to turn their poo poo around pretty drastically, and from some indications it's working. Age of Sigmar 2e apparently is turning out okay, while there's a new Warhammer Fantasy RPG that just completely ignores it.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 10:58

Gaius Marius: Oct 9, 2012

The Bloop posted:

When I was like 16 I was working one of my first jobs and I was being a cashier for two days at another branch I was unfamiliar with so I was already a bit stressed and some old dude asked to use the bathroom and I was like no, sorry. And the manager fell all over himself to apologize to the random customer and escorted him to the bathroom. Obviously, that man was Donald Sutherland but I didn't know who the gently caress he was at the time.

Fuckers should have to follow the same rules as everyone else even if they're famous.

Why couldn't customers use the bathroom?

# ? Aug 3, 2018 18:09

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

If it's a restaurant they typically only allow customers to use the bathroom

# ? Aug 3, 2018 18:12

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Mu Zeta posted:

If it's a restaurant they typically only allow customers to use the bathroom

I actually haven't had issues with that yet. I only enter a restaurant if I plan on eating there, but if I need to use the restroom first I'll just walk straight there and nobody stops me. I think among any reasonable staff there's an unsaid assumption of "Better for them to use the restroom than to throw a tantrum or pee on the floor."

# ? Aug 3, 2018 18:19

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

do you also happen to pass the paper bag test?

# ? Aug 3, 2018 21:20

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

chitoryu12 posted:

if I need to use the restroom first I'll just walk straight there and nobody stops me.

Thats why. If you stop and ask then you may be refused. If you never ask you cant be refused

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:59

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Fauxtool posted:

Thats why. If you stop and ask then you may be refused. If you never ask you cant be refused

The trick is to exude an air of 'if you stop me, there will be trouble for you'

Whether that 'trouble' is your being a personal friend of the CEO or your leaving a trail of poop depends on what looks most feasible for you.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:09

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

I start wildly flinging my poop at the counter if they try to stop me, that way I've made my point and my problem is solved at the same time

# ? Aug 4, 2018 09:50

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Yes, but you have to make sure not to ask first or they might refuse to let you, Phlegmish.

# ? Aug 5, 2018 08:13

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Choco1980 posted:

Yes, but you have to make sure not to ask first or they might refuse to let you, Phlegmish.

so its vampire rules then?

# ? Aug 5, 2018 09:16

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Phanatic posted:

There's a Chicago-based company called Aloha Poke. They sell poke. Their name consists of a word uniformly associated with Hawaii, combined with the name for the kind of food they sell, which is itself a dish of Hawaiian origin.

I understand that this kind of attitude is why I would never succeed in business, but holy poo poo, just call yourself Aloha Poke Chicago and trademark that.

Phanatic posted:

We need to resurrect the architectural failures thread. That got goldmined too soon.

Also the Brutalism thread, in which posts were required to be all caps (mods played along and gave 6 hour probations to violators) that went to hell when people were allowed to poo poo it up with non-brutalist anime.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Note that Vantablack isn't actually a paint, and Stuart Semple makes the blackest actual paint you can buy, and Anish Kapoor is just a dick.

All correct, but having seen both in person, Black 2.0 is beautiful but color-wise, there's no comparison between the two. Black 2.0 is a beautiful, deep, matte black but is recognizable as a surface; when I got to see Vantablack it took me a few seconds to really look at it because it has (pardon the cliche) a Lovecraftian feel to it, like you're staring into a hole in the universe rather than observing a physical object. Kapoor is an enormous rear end and even though it would be cost prohibitive (the 4x4 inch piece I got to handle cost around $800), other artists could do amazing things with it and while I haven't seen any of his pieces in person, most of Kapoor's stuff using it is pretty boring.

# ? Aug 5, 2018 11:05

Croccers: Jun 15, 2012

GWBBQ posted:

All correct, but having seen both in person, Black 2.0 is beautiful but color-wise, there's no comparison between the two. Black 2.0 is a beautiful, deep, matte black but is recognizable as a surface; when I got to see Vantablack it took me a few seconds to really look at it because it has (pardon the cliche) a Lovecraftian feel to it, like you're staring into a hole in the universe rather than observing a physical object. Kapoor is an enormous rear end and even though it would be cost prohibitive (the 4x4 inch piece I got to handle cost around $800), other artists could do amazing things with it and while I haven't seen any of his pieces in person, most of Kapoor's stuff using it is pretty boring.

Kapoor had access to Vantablack S-VIS (spray-can version), there's another three other forms of it. There's a lot of Defence/Military money interested it in so I assume they want it controlled apart from set art installations.
The Winter Games had VBx2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxkvKJmlyHQ
Apparently videos/pictures don't do the structure justice. One of the commentators during some event I was watching was talking about it. The big thing to think about is that it's not black but it's that it looks empty and it's really hard to get that across in a video/picture, kind of like the Pinkest Pink

# ? Aug 5, 2018 11:39

madeintaipei: Jul 13, 2012

Croccers posted:

Kapoor had access to Vantablack S-VIS (spray-can version), there's another three other forms of it. There's a lot of Defence/Military money interested it in so I assume they want it controlled apart from set art installations.
The Winter Games had VBx2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxkvKJmlyHQ
Apparently videos/pictures don't do the structure justice. One of the commentators during some event I was watching was talking about it. The big thing to think about is that it's not black but it's that it looks empty and it's really hard to get that across in a video/picture, kind of like the Pinkest Pink

How has no one made a scuplture of the Disaster Zone stuntship from Restaurant at the End of the Universe with that paint? Just a big paper airplane with a door leading to a cockpit, all in blacker-than- black. Crash it into the nearest volcano while an airplane writes, "Preperation H, for all your burning needs", in the sky above.

# ? Aug 5, 2018 12:22

BattleMaster: Aug 14, 2000

madeintaipei posted:

How has no one made a scuplture of the Disaster Zone stuntship from Restaurant at the End of the Universe with that paint? Just a big paper airplane with a door leading to a cockpit, all in blacker-than- black. Crash it into the nearest volcano while an airplane writes, "Preperation H, for all your burning needs", in the sky above.

Is this post written by a Markov chain?

# ? Aug 5, 2018 20:42

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Croccers posted:

Apparently videos/pictures don't do the structure justice. One of the commentators during some event I was watching was talking about it. The big thing to think about is that it's not black but it's that it looks empty and it's really hard to get that across in a video/picture

I can't speak for the spray can version, which seems to be .2% reflectivity versus .035% for real Vantablack. All I can say is to rephrase my description of the real thing and describe it as Lovecraftian; you're not looking at something, you're looking through it into nothing. There is literally no possible way to understand what it looks like without seeing it in person. The best I could do is to tell you to cover your eyes completely in a pitch black room for an hour, then imagine something so dark that what you're experiencing is blindingly bright.

# ? Aug 6, 2018 02:10

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007

Has anybody made the 2001 Monolith with it, and if not, why not?

# ? Aug 6, 2018 02:33

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

BattleMaster posted:

Is this post written by a Markov chain?

Douglas Adams in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe posted:

Ford looked round the other side.

"Hey, come and see," he called out, "there's a big mural painted on this side. A bursting sun - Disaster Area's trade mark. This must be Hotblack's ship. Lucky old bugger. They do this terrible song you know which ends with a stuntship crashing into the sun. Meant to be an amazing spectacle. Expensive in stunt ships though."

Zaphod's attention however was elsewhere. His attention was riveted on the ship standing next to Hotblack Desiato's limo. His mouths hung open.

"That," he said, "that ... is really bad for the eyes ..."

Ford looked. He too stood astonished.

It was a ship of classic, simple design, like a flattened salmon, twenty yards long, very clean, very sleek. There was just one remarkable thing about it.

"It's so ... black!" said Ford Prefect, "you can hardly make out its shape ... light just seems to fall into it!"

Zaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.

The blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how close you were standing to it.

"Your eyes just slide off it ..." said Ford in wonder. It was an emotional moment. He bit his lip.