/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

bob dobbs is dead posted:

how does the cumshittin work when you die

do you poo poo more cum or stop making GBS threads cum or is there a particularly large bolus of cum

I�d just assume his rear end gets taxidermied into a cover for an ice cream dispenser, so it never has to stop!

...so long as you don�t have an unscrupulous executor.

This story makes me want to look into my will, ensure my executor isn�t a piece of poo poo.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:06

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# ? May 25, 2024 15:59

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

LadyPictureShow posted:

I�d just assume his rear end gets taxidermied into a cover for an ice cream dispenser, so it never has to stop!

...so long as you don�t have an unscrupulous executor.

This story makes me want to look into my will, ensure my executor isn�t a piece of poo poo.

Add a forfeiture clause too. It doesn't guarantee anything, but can be a powerful deterrent.

And yeah, no dipshit executors.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:11

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Ahh, that sweet, sweet honeymoon period...

My Husband [32M] keeps threatening me [27F] for Divorce after 1 month of Marriage

quote:

I have been married a month now and it's been a mess. I moved to the south where my husband is, and really disliked it. He's been telling me to find a job, and I've been looking for something part time, but I have been feeling especially homesick (I've never left my mother and siblings before marriage; my father had passed away), and I left my amazing career and a master's program to be with him. I would keep asking if he would consider moving up north. We would end up getting into HUGE fights, to the point where he would threaten me with divorce (he did it with my mom on facetime last time), threaten to call the police on me if I'm not out of the apartment, and he'd slam the door and go to his family's home, leaving me in the apartment alone. His family DENIES everything he does or says. Up to this point, he has threatened me with divorce 3 times. At one point, he dragged me to his parent's house, repeatedly insulted me in front of them, screamed and called me a liar, and left me crying on the couch by myself in front of his mom and dad. I was beyond hurt and disappointed, especially since I told him to keep things between us only. I'm back at home to visit, but he picked a fight with me because I didn't answer the phone, even though he knew I was at a funeral. He kept telling me I was lying, that he wanted me to stay away. I told him fine. And that was the 3rd time he threatened me with divorce.

My mom called his father but he took his son's side, saying his son doesn't owe an apology and that I'm being a "bad wife" by staying away. My husband eats up this NONSENSE and is acting like I'M the one who is asking for divorce. I just feel so devastated. Things unraveled so fast, and there's so much disrespect towards myself and my family. My husband wouldn't treat me like something of value when I was there; he never took my opinion and would constantly call his mother, tell her about his day, and ask for her opinion. I got so offended at one point, I argued with him about it and he felt bad. There are times where I feel like he's capable of changing, but when I remember his temper tantrums, and the fact that he listens to his family and tells them everything between us, then lies about doing so, I get sick to my stomach.

TL;DR: It has been a messy month of marriage, and I feel like my husband has disrespected me by threatening divorce 3 times. Should I be the one to do it?

EDIT: He has suggested couple's counseling at one point, but I really don't know if he would ever change. I just really don't want to go back there.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:14

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Theophany posted:

Ahh, that sweet, sweet honeymoon period...

My Husband [32M] keeps threatening me [27F] for Divorce after 1 month of Marriage

The South

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:21

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

That�s just depressing abuse. It�s a bit dull this morning (or depressing). I saved this from last night

I [25/F] have a bad reputation that haunts me. Meeting BF�s [25/M] (of 4 months) parents and worried about how to handle it.

quote:

u/myofficeissmall
My BF and I grew up in a small suburb of a major city. It�s far enough away as to be a small community, but commutable. My BF�s dad commuted into the city and works as a financial executive at some company. BF�s parents donate to the schools, volunteer at events and are active in the community. My BF�s mom is a stay-at-home wife and is always doing things � she fills backpacks up with supplies & clothes every fall for kids who don�t have new clothes/supplies; she volunteers at a clinic (she was a nurse) and helps teen moms and the homeless get fed, the medicine, etc. They�re the sort of all-American family.

Our town isn�t huge so a lot of people know each other. I grew up without a father and with a drug addicted mother. Our apartment was a mess, our clothes were a mess and I developed a number of nicknames that involved crack, meth and a few about my supposed promiscuity. I routinely got one of his mother�s backpacks every year, and it was usually the only new socks & underwear I would get.

I had a rough time in high school, and the family situation deteriorated. I eventually lived with another relative, which was worse than my mother. I survived HS, but my reputation was in tatters. I was always with �the wrong crowd� mostly due to where we lived � I lived in a poo poo neighborhood, and because of that, we got a bad rep. I was never into drugs or alcohol, but my cousins were burn-outs in middle school; another cousin kept trying to steal from the pharmacy and was constantly arrested; another cousin is in jail� my mom was in-and-out of jail/rehab. I never had clean clothes (no washer & dryer, no local laundromat) You get the picture. People saw us as white trash and called our area of town �the ghetto.� Every guy in school claimed to have had sex with me. Since I was trashy and poor, I must have also been promiscuous. People would claim we "did it" and no matter what I said, no one believed me. I stopped arguing with the accusations and just stayed silent. If people in high school were correct, I was nearing #400 by the time I finished my final exam in the 12th grade.

BF is very definitely not from �the ghetto� but uptown from a beautiful house with a pool and a view of the city off in the distance. They live near the water and enjoy a great standing in town. When the town�s finances hit the skids in 2008, they hired BF�s father, who worked pro bono, on getting the town on track.

Surprisingly, we were friends in high school. BF worked a part-time job to save for a trip and I often visited where he worked as they accepted food stamps. We�d chat about similar interests or TV or music or what have you and he was always nice to me at school. I always thought he was a really stand-up guy. He went off to university and only recently came back to live with his folks while he finishes dental school. Through happenstance, we bumped into each other and reconnected � I work in the dental field (I�m a receptionist/office manager) and so we had things to talk about and sort of just started dating. He hasn�t changed, was still very nice and charming. We�ve been dating about 4 months. I�ve put off meeting his folks. Some people in town think I was a promiscuous person, or that I was really on drugs and many have commented on how much �I turned myself around�. I even had one person tell me I �smell so much better.� Ouch.

I put off meeting his folks and found ways to not be able to make events, but his family is hosting an event and I am out of excuses. I bought a nice party dress and plan to get my hair done, but just thinking about it is making me nauseated. BF�s brother remembers me and my not-so-nice cousin who used to steal from him. BF�s sister and I were in the same classes and I�m sure remembers me in dirty clothes and an unkempt appearance/trying to hide in the back of the room as I smelled (this was when mom thought she could use the bathtub to make hooch and so I didn�t bathe as often as I�d have liked).

Everyone in town as a story about me. Most aren't true, but sadly people remember me. I'm terrified of meeting his family and don't know what to do. I feel like this will go horribly wrong and I don't want to lose this relationship. That said, if I keep putting it off, I'll doom the relationship.

How should I handle this? Should I prepare answers to questions? Should I maybe script something out? Should I tell my BF I can't go? I really don't know how to attend an event like this or these people (all the guests are from yonder where I never ventured). Should I pretend like I don't remember/doesn't bother me?

I'm really nervous and don't know what to say/do.

tl;dr I grew up poor in a wealthy-ish area and am dating a nice guy from the wealthy part of town. His family donated clothes to me because I didn't have any and now I'm dating their son. I'm panic striken and don't know what to do/say.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:27

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

holy poo poo that story with the family stealing a bunch of money from their gay son's partner is full of amazing comments

The setup:

quote:

My sister was in charge of the will, according to his partner he did not want to be in charge because ' he didn't want to deal with us' 'he hates us' so my sister who was best friends with my brother acted as the middle ground for us and his partner. We were shocked when we read the will. We didn't expect it to be that unfair. I am trying to make it right

quote:

We are a big family, most of the money was distributed throughout family members which we thought was only fair. We cant pay the full amount because the money is mostly gone.

The knockdown:

quote:

your greed, bigotry, and stupidity is not his problem

quote:

You and your family are idiots and have not only looking at civil penalties, but criminal proceedings. A court is most definitely going to be involved now because this is also theft/embezzlement.

quote:

The judgement in this case is going to be amazing. You're going to be lucky if all you end up with is a lifetime of debt.

quote:

Wait, you guys still almost a million dollars without consulting a legal professional, and now you're posting on Reddit like this is going to small claims court?

Clearly all the brains in your family died with your brother.

I don't think you're really grasping the enormity of the crime you've admitted to on here. But I can't wait to see this in the papers, this is gonna be good. Not for you though.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 08:30

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

dear prudence my husband is a rapist is this something i should be concerned about?

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/feeling-jealous-of-a-work-spouse-and-more-advice-from-dear-prudence.html

quote:

Last Saturday after heavily drinking with a group of friends, I woke up to my husband using a sex toy on me while I was unconscious. It caused me enough pain to tell him to stop, and then I must have fallen back to sleep. I woke up again to him violating me in a way that I told him I was not comfortable having sex. I had to beat my husband with my fists to get him off of me, after saying no did not work. I wish I could say that this is the first time anything like this has happened, but it�s not. In our years together, there have been at least four incidents like this that I recall. The last time it happened, I told him that if it ever did again I would leave him. He told me that he doesn�t like that I gave him an ultimatum. I feel like asking your husband not to rape you is not an ultimatum.

Now what do I do? I am living with him, and we are acting like nothing happened. In fact, since I discussed what I remembered with him, he has been cold to me like I did something wrong. This is nothing like the husband and father that lives with me every day and takes loving care of our children. I don�t know what to do. I am beside myself. Do you think there is something darker in his nature, or is he just a deviant drunk?

# ? Aug 8, 2018 10:48

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

/r/relationships: I feel like asking your husband not to rape you is not an ultimatum.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 10:52

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

mllaneza posted:

If the sister gets a good lawyer, probably separately from the rest of her hosed up family, she just might get off the easiest. If nothing else, you can't in good conscience punish her when the OP admits that he persuaded her to ignore the will when she was initially going to honor it. If anything, OP must be punished more severely than the sister.

That's wishful thinking really, the family will guilt the sister into taking the fall, claiming they didn't know it was illegal the executor told them it was fine. They'll sell off the business assets to make good on the Will and suffer no consequences at all. Other than their sister being sent to jail by the malicious action of a the gay dude as they will see it.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 11:06

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Wedding chat!

I (30F) feel sad when I think about my wedding (to 28M, together 2 years) because I have nobody to invite

quote:

u/arglebargle1234
Basically my story is that we were long distance, we fell in love, we are making it work. My family also kinda sucks. I have always been ostracized for being the "weird" one. I try my best to fit in, but I just am different and things are always uncomfortable. I was super close to my dad but he recently passed. I do not have many friends. I am rather introverted and enjoy my own stuff. My closest friends are friends from gaming across the world, so they couldn't attend a wedding.

My wedding will be abroad - even if I had this wedding in America, I'd struggle to field attendees. I will have literally nobody to bring (maybe my mom if I pay for her trip) so the thought of a bachelorette party, wedding, etc is making me sad, not happy. I have nobody to sit on my side, nobody to celebrate with, nobody to stand next to me. Nor do I have a father to walk me down the aisle or dance with me.

I just want to rewrite the entire concept of a wedding at this point, because all of the traditional poo poo makes me sad. What ways can I do this best? I want my wedding to be happy.

Tl:dr: I have nobody to invite to my wedding, how do I change the event? I dunno I'm just sad and I shouldn't be, I'm freaking engaged

(Also future husband is amazing. I love him to the moon and back)

quote:

You absolutely don�t need to do a big traditional wedding if you don�t want to.

Discuss having a small wedding with your fianc�. Tell him how you�re feeling.

quote:

Oh, that part is fine. I've told him my reservations and he's happy marrying me at the city office tomorrow, has been for months. The wedding itself is entirely my own conceit. I love the idea of it - I do art and project management, so it's a fun task. I want to have a special day, as silly and stupid as that is. I just want ideas on how to subvert tradition.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 12:20

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Beachcomber posted:

The South

Never marry men who talk to their mother.

quote:

and I left my amazing career and a master's program to be with him

Whyyyyyyyy

# ? Aug 8, 2018 12:47

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Milotic posted:

Wedding chat!

I (30F) feel sad when I think about my wedding (to 28M, together 2 years) because I have nobody to invite

Help I have built a palace full of exquisite melancholy that continually whispers bad things about me said the princess.

Walk away from the palace said all the people of the land.

I cannot, she replied, as I really like the gables on the roof.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:33

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

It came from Dan Savage:

quote:

I�m part of a nonhierarchical polycule. In a few months, one of my girlfriends will be marrying her fianc�. I�ll be attending as a guest with my other girlfriend. What are the guidelines or expectations for purchasing a gift for your girlfriend�s wedding? Surprisingly, the other advice columnists don�t have guidance on this one.

firstworld(and-undiscovered-tribes-of-the-jungles-i-guess)problems.txt

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:45

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

the gently caress is a polycule

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:46

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It seems... worrying that they have to specify 'nonheirarchal'.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:47

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Stevie Lee posted:

the gently caress is a polycule

Members of a polyamorous grouping in a cubic lattice arrangement, probably a self-centered cubic variant.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Stevie Lee posted:

the gently caress is a polycule

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:48

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Stevie Lee posted:

the gently caress is a polycule

Multiple ridicules.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:49

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

I found a nonhierarchical polycule on my shoulder but the tests came back saying it was benign.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:49

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

My (19m) GF (21f) is going to Vegas with her friends next month. Should I go?

quote:

My GF is turning 21 later this month, and her friend is turning 21 in the middle of next month, which is when they'll be going. I was offered to go (although I doubt it's a real offer, but she did offer to buy me a ticket) but I feel like as a 19 y/o, I would just drag them around and possibly ruin their trip.

On the other hand, theres a decent possibility I end up going to UNLV in either semester of 2019, and I have yet to see the college. I'm not into partying, and even though I cant, that wouldn't be on my mind. I would just want to make sure shes safe, because her friend that shes going with and that girls friend are pretty reckless and attention seekers. Could I go just to explore Vegas and maybe see if I can tour the college?

Also, we've been together for almost 10 months, and it'll be 11 when she goes. Shes already gone on two different vacations without me since we've been together that totalled 3 weeks, including 2 weeks in another country, and it would just suck for her to leave again and for her to not really care.

Should I go with them, even if I have to buy my own ticket and basically be on my own the whole time? I'd have to find a way to get around, but I guess since its Vegas theres plenty of ways (I've never used uber or anything, and never really want to) but I hear UNLV is pretty close to the strip, so maybe I can just walk there. I would like to spend some time with her too, but if I couldnt then oh well I guess. I would just have to hope she doesnt do anything.

TL;DR : GF is going to Vegas with friends. Should I go, not to be a nuisance, but to actually go for purpose. I will still be worried about her regardless.

fuckin' lol

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:50

LeafHouse: Apr 22, 2008; That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!

The same as buying a gift for any other wedding?? Dude only wrote in for advice as an excuse to use his poly word of the day calendar.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:53

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Stevie Lee posted:

the gently caress is a polycule

It�s a play on molecule, so a bunch of people orbiting around drama like an element of sorrow.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:56

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Stevie Lee posted:

the gently caress is a polycule

Apologies for the brain damage this may cause...

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:56

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

"I like to gently caress lots of people" is not hard to say.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 13:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

"fluid chain" *threw up a lil my mouth*

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:02

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

Pvt.Scott posted:

It�s a play on molecule, so a bunch of people orbiting around drama like an element of sorrow.

I�m sure the atomic mass is high as well.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:02

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

The next Ant-Man is looking bad.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:16

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Milotic posted:

That�s just depressing abuse. It�s a bit dull this morning (or depressing). I saved this from last night

I [25/F] have a bad reputation that haunts me. Meeting BF�s [25/M] (of 4 months) parents and worried about how to handle it.

I�m really sad for this lady. In her shoes I�d have moved away and not come back but I honestly don�t know what the best course for her is st this point. �Keep your head up� and all but even if this guy and his parents are saints, certainly some of his friends and family aren�t and will crack jokes about his methhead slut girlfriend the whole time they are together.

Probably tough it out then get him to move away when school is done and ride the dentist train to money town.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:20

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

alphabettitouretti posted:

dear prudence my husband is a rapist is this something i should be concerned about?

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/feeling-jealous-of-a-work-spouse-and-more-advice-from-dear-prudence.html

That monster, doesn't she know that ultimatums are a form of abuse?!?

Seriouspost: Her husband is a piece of poo poo, and she needs to find a way to get away from him ASAP. Her relationship will not get better, it will only get worse if he has such a lack of respect for her person. Like, ER-level worse.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:27

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It seems... worrying that they have to specify 'nonheirarchal'.

As opposed to e.g. 'my wife and I both get to have boy/girlfriends on the side', where the marriage is 'primary' and other relationships are 'secondary'.

Yes, this can leave the 'secondary' partners feeling pretty...secondary, especially if their partner's spouse is inclined to be a poo poo about them.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:36

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Pick posted:

"fluid chain" *threw up a lil my mouth*

If you think about it life is just one big fluid chain. :thunk:

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:50

Quote-Unquote: Oct 22, 2002

Can we get a word filter that changes 'poly' to 'fat'? I feel like it'd make a lot of posts much more honest

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:54

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

lol if you think white people are going to go to jail for white collar crime.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 14:58

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

feedmegin posted:

As opposed to e.g. 'my wife and I both get to have boy/girlfriends on the side', where the marriage is 'primary' and other relationships are 'secondary'.

Yes, this can leave the 'secondary' partners feeling pretty...secondary, especially if their partner's spouse is inclined to be a poo poo about them.

Ugggghhhhhhhh nobody gives a poo poo

# ? Aug 8, 2018 15:05

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Universe Master posted:

I found a nonhierarchical polycule on my shoulder but the tests came back saying it was benign.

I had one removed from my colon and they want be back in 5 years to check for more

# ? Aug 8, 2018 15:11

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Hellblazer187 posted:

lol if you think white people are going to go to jail for white collar crime.

They absolutely will because they ripped off a better off person.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 15:16

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Barudak posted:

They absolutely will because they ripped off a better off person.

Oh true good point

# ? Aug 8, 2018 15:37

Cassius Belli: May 22, 2010; horny is prohibited

Admiral Ray posted:

Members of a polyamorous grouping in a pubic lattice arrangement, probably a self-centered pubic variant.

The 14-year-old child in me read it this way. It may be more accurate.

# ? Aug 8, 2018 16:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

They absolutely will because they ripped off a better off person.

Shkreli�d himself

# ? Aug 8, 2018 16:06

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# ? May 25, 2024 15:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Never forget he and Holmes are hosed because of fuckibg with rich peoples money , not because they did crimes that fucj with medicine as a field n kill people

# ? Aug 8, 2018 16:07

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