- Theophany
- Jul 22, 2014
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SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO
2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
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My [25F] boyfriend [29M] of 4 years is so nice to everyone else but can be so crappy to me. How do I make him see this?
quote:We have been together 4 years, we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and live together.
My problem is pretty simple, but really difficult to fix. Mark [BF] is such a ‘great guy’, everyone likes him and he always speaks to his family/friends/others in a warm and nice tone.
I feel like I do the most for him and support him the most but he speaks to me the most lovely. He can be really mean and sarcastic, and it makes me feel really hurt and confused. A good example is if he’s trying to call his mother/sister/buddy and they don’t pick up, he will try a random few times and when they call back will say ‘ooh nice of you to finally get back to me huh !’ Winky face denotes friendly, jokey manner.
Yesterday he called me 4 times when I was at work, 20 mins before the end of my shift. When I saw I ran into the hallway and called back; it was a total non-emergency and he went ‘hm. Nice of you to finally get back to me’ in a really dry, sarcastic and generally mean tone. I never ever hear him speak this way to anyone else in his life.
The other day he came home after spending time with his brother; I had cooked dinner, vacuumed everywhere, mopped, cleared away all the laundry etc. He went to put our daughter to bed in a good mood, and 15 mins later came downstairs in an awful mood. Spat ‘you can do the dishes’ at me. I said ‘it’s ok it’s only two plates and a cup. I’ll go in when my movie ends’ (5 mins til the end). He went crazy. Kicked a bag across the room and went in and did them himself.
Today I came home and was happy to see him, have a little glass of wine and relax after work. He was telling a story and I asked him casually ‘oh cool, where did that happen?’ ...he stopped for a good 10 seconds, looked so angry, shook his head and said ‘OP. Do you want me to tell you this story? Or will I just put tv on?’
He was deadly serious... he was mad that I asked a curious question. So I had enough and said ‘Mark you really have to stop speaking to me this way. Can you imagine if you told your mom this story and she asked a question? Would you make her feel this way? It’s totally unwarranted and is really getting to me’
He didn’t even reply. Just got up, unplugged his phone charger and said right I’m going to lie in bed and watch something. You do what you want.
I’m so confused and shocked. He hasn’t ever been like this? I didn’t rudely interrupt or ask any more than one single question. What could have made him change like this? He has no stressors at work and everything is ok at home. I just don’t know what to do, because he insists his behaviour is perfectly acceptable.
TL;DR: my boyfriend has lately started snapping/being mean to me. What have I done and what can I do?
What the gently caress is it with these people in lovely relationships bringing children into this world?
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Aug 16, 2018 08:32
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 08:26
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- burial
- Sep 13, 2002
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actually, that won't be necessary.
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Who the heck slides down a snake??
I always figured they got eaten and poo poo out, personally.
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Aug 16, 2018 08:35
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- dog nougat
- Apr 8, 2009
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My [25F] boyfriend [29M] of 4 years is so nice to everyone else but can be so crappy to me. How do I make him see this?
What the gently caress is it with these people in lovely relationships bringing children into this world?
People are dumb af. Supposedly it takes 3ish years to determine if you're long term compatible with a potential partner. Guessing dude lost interest and is now spiteful and feeling trapped cuz he knocked this poor lady up.
Mostly just people are dumb af though.
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Aug 16, 2018 08:43
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- Theophany
- Jul 22, 2014
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SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO
2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
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Strap in, boys and girls!
My (25F) boyfriend (50M) decided that it was against Jesus to have sex anymore 5 weeks after I had our son.
quote:Background, my boyfriend and I met at a factory I was working at 3 years ago. He asked me if I cared about his age or ethnicity (he's Puerto Rican) and I said no and we began dating. The past 3 years have been great. I moved jobs eventually and we got an apartment. He never raised his voice or threatened me but he's always been very religious. We planned for a baby after 2 1/2 years together and had our son.
The baby hasn't been easy because he was extremely fussy. We bickered at each other as sleep deprived parents do but recently we had discovered we needed to give him nutramigen or alimentum and he's slowly becoming a better, happier baby.
While I was pregnant I had no sex drive. I had a moderate sex drive before and he had a high sex drive. We would have sex 4+ times a week. Since he's older once a day is his limit usually. When I was pregnant my bladder issues were Terrible and I wasn't interested but I made sure I would at least be able to 2-3 times a week. On 7/7 I had a baby boy via c section and he saw the whole thing. He felt helpless I think but didn't show it though he looked terrified. We had our baby and he was so proud. He hovered over everyone holding him making sure they wouldn't drop him. He's very protective over our son.
So 2 weeks after he was born against advice we had sex twice, then I told him when he initiated the 3rd time I was too sore and he understood. Shortly after that our son started having tons of feeding issues. Wouldn't sleep, was fussy, cried constantly. Nothing helped. My boyfriend became depressed which he is prone to since at least twice a year for 2 weeks he will get sad and super religious in times of stress. As we tried new things we would get a day of peace and i noticed every time I tried to initiate he wasn't interested saying "we have to look for Jesus".
Last night I finally asked him and he told me we can't have sex anymore because we are in the last days and we can't be caught together when Jesus comes. I got pissed and though I am religious I'm not as religious as him. I didnt act very good and he told me he thought I was better than that and more mature. He won't marry because he was already married and it would be adulterous. He has 8 children, 7 grown and he didn't abandon them. 5 by his wife, 2 by another mother. 1 by me. Beautiful children. I told him it's a little late considering he has 8 kids by 3 baby mom's.
He got this all from a YouTube channel called A Voice in the Desert. He's been getting worse and worse but doesn't feel he needs a Bible or to go to actual church because my church he feels is demonic. He's never been but this man said my religion is demonic. He won't listen to me and told me I'll understand when I "open my eyes and I'm in hell".
I don't want to push him because he shouldn't have to have sex. He has/had a very high libido. Like he would rather have sex 7 days a week. Suddenly it's not at all. Is this a product of his depression or maybe he's scared of pregnancy again. This all came up because I went on depo as we planned and he told me he wished I would have told him that before I got on it because he decided to be celibate. He also wants to continue all other affection because that's not evil. He also expects me to go along with it, not be with anyone else but him and to never have sex again because I'll go to hell. All the kisses and hugs and sleeping and living together but no sex. He's gone through phases of this such as no oral sex but that lasted not long.
I'm scared it's because of the changes my body went though or because he's scared of me getting pregnant too fast. Or if he's depressed. We have gone through a lot of stuff lately aside from the baby. Im more terrified it's none of that and truly he will become celibate for ever. Please help! Thanks.
Also, I refuse to be celibate. I told him we couldn't be together if that was the case but he heard "I'll stay sexless for the rest of my life!". I told him let's raise our child until he's a year and see what happens. He heard "yes I will stay with you forever!". My friends feel like it's a phase and he's a man so it won't last long especially with his high libido. I don't know if cheating is possible. I asked he said no and was insulted. I don't see where he would have the time honestly.
TL;DR: boyfriend watches YouTube videos and is very religious. Decided 5 weeks after our son was born he no longer wants sex. I don't know what to do.
Edit: several suggestions suggest mental illness. I'm googling now, he doesn't have delusions or anything so I don't think schizophrenia (my grandfather had it, he doesn't act like him at all). Bipolar I doubt (my grandmother had it, doesn't go through the highs and lows she did but he gets depressed a few times a year for a few weeks). However, I always suspected PTSD. He's terrified of going outside at night and he's scared of me going by myself to stores and places with a lot of people for fear someone will hurt me or a shooting will happen. It's understandable because of all that's going on now. The reason I suspect this is because he lived until now in the worst areas of Brooklyn, Trenton NJ, and Philly. He was very poor growing up but loved Puerto Rico. When they moved out to the mainland he saw murders, he was attacked several times for things like his bike being stolen. He has several scars where he would get jumped. He eventually learned how to fight and it wasn't as bad but he doesn't trust anyone and he's scared every time he goes outside someone is going to attack him. Any insights as to what could be wrong? I am also safe now with my mom and baby.
Mental illness is a hell of a thing.
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Aug 16, 2018 08:44
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- pooch516
- Mar 10, 2010
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He doesn't have delusions?
For the last time, no! He just doesn't want Jesus walking in on them doing it, why is this such a difficult concept??
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Aug 16, 2018 13:05
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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I don't know what Godforsaken hellhole you occupy, but here when I was growing up it was 'Chutes and Ladders'.
The history of Snakes and Ladders is actually really interesting. It was originally designed in ancient India as a morality lesson, with the snakes representing vices and the ladders virtues in the journey of life, and being based on pure chance with zero skill involved emphasized destiny over free will. The ladders and snakes represented specific virtues and vices (the squares they started on being labelled) and when the game was adopted by the Victorians and taken to England the specific things the ladders and snakes represented were changed based on their own values. It was only in the 1940s that the American version with chutes was released
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Aug 16, 2018 13:08
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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The history of Snakes and Ladders is actually really interesting. It was originally designed in ancient India as a morality lesson, with the snakes representing vices and the ladders virtues in the journey of life, and being based on pure chance with zero skill involved emphasized destiny over free will. The ladders and snakes represented specific virtues and vices (the squares they started on being labelled) and when the game was adopted by the Victorians and taken to England the specific things the ladders and snakes represented were changed based on their own values. It was only in the 1940s that the American version with chutes was released
so is every lovely classic kid's game secretly just a morality lesson then
what was candy land supposed to teach?
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Aug 16, 2018 13:39
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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so is every lovely classic kid's game secretly just a morality lesson then
what was candy land supposed to teach?
Never start a land war in Asia
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Aug 16, 2018 13:40
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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If you aggregate together all the days I've ever been not high I'm two years clean
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Aug 16, 2018 14:33
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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I think addicts need to be told at the outset it's going to take 5-10 years with no relapses to even have a chance of getting their families back. Which sucks and is terrible but it's realistically the truth in a lot of cases.
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Aug 16, 2018 14:39
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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It came from r/personalfinance. Spot the plot twist!
Got fired, last official employment date is in the future (8/24). Can't file for unemployment yet and won't have access to internet until 9/6.
I guess not going to Burning Man is out of the question.
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Aug 16, 2018 14:49
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- AnimeIsTrash
- Jun 30, 2018
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It came from r/personalfinance. Spot the plot twist!
Got fired, last official employment date is in the future (8/24). Can't file for unemployment yet and won't have access to internet until 9/6.
drat thought we finally found Musk's reddit account until I read the freelance digital marketer.
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Aug 16, 2018 14:54
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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I guess not going to Burning Man is out of the question.
https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472
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Aug 16, 2018 14:56
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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It came from r/personalfinance. Spot the plot twist!
Got fired, last official employment date is in the future (8/24). Can't file for unemployment yet and won't have access to internet until 9/6.
And I think we just figured out how “Sober 2 years with relapse in the middle” works
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Aug 16, 2018 15:00
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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my sister [24 years old] doesn't want me [27 years old] to be around her soon to be born daughter
(bolding in the original)
So his family doesn't know about his relapse, and he doesn't consider his relapse a real relapse anyway. There are idiots in the thread saying "What's he going to do, shoot up heroin into the baby?" These idiots clearly have never dealt with an addict. This guy is in total denial about everything, and on methadone. Methadone is just a legal fix, and really not clean if you ask me. I've had someone in my family die from a methadone OD.
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Aug 16, 2018 15:23
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- UZR IS BULLSHIT
- Jan 25, 2004
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drat thought we finally found Musk's reddit account until I read the freelance digital marketer.
That’s actually a better description of what he does than all the greasy nerds who think of him as Tony Stark
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Aug 16, 2018 15:23
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- Xenocides
- Jan 14, 2008
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This world looks very scary....
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Emotional cheating is okay right?
quote:[22/f] Can I make this work? Being in love with two men and being in two relationship
Although the title is very much true, I think it can misleads to wrong assumptions. Bear with me until the end! English is not my first language, but I tried my best to avoid errors.
So here's my story!
I am currently in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. He is 24 years-old, we have been together for 2 years and a half. I really love him, an awful lot. We share the same goal, the same spirituality, we have a lot of interest in common, we have a lot of fun together. I am fulfilled with my relationship on every level. If he wasn't my boyfriend, he would have easily been my best friend. We really get along.
I know, for sure, that I will never stop loving him. This is very important to what is coming after : if I really fall in love with someone, not just the hormonal love, but in love with his soul, I will not stop loving him, even if we stop being together. This applies to my ex too.
I also want something else to be very clear : I do not wish to leave him. I absolutely don't.
So here is the part where it gets... sligthly unusual. I met another guy, as you could guess. Around last May. We will name him S (he is 23 years old). He isn't straight up beautiful when you look at him, but there is something about him, in his voice and in the way he talks, moves and behaves, that makes him so drat attractive. We met on a larp. For those who don't know what it is, it's live action role playing : we incarnate a character (usually very diferent from our real personnality, anyways it's more fun that way) in a diferent world. You could call it interactive theatre too, and there's a lot of improvisation involved. So, it all started there. Our characters were stuck together for maybe 4 hours. At that point I knew nothing about S; the only information I had where about his character, since we were role playing all along. We had a really good time though, and we hanged out a lot during the rest of the larp and the others after (once a month for a weekend). We started flirting through our characters. It was really enjoyable, and probably not completely innocent. I'd say during these times, we were 40% in characters and 60% with our real personnality. I enjoyed the attention and his company. It was clear to me that we were both attracted to each other. But never, at any point, I thought about having sex with him, even if at that point our characters were ''together'' in a couple, you could say. I was physically attracted by him but loved my boyfriend to much to even think about it. Ok, maybe in some of my fantasies, I did. But I did not wished it out of the realm of my mind. Sometimes I looked at S, during the larp, and was thinking to myself that what I felt for him looked an awful lot like being in love. And that it wasn't just a play or pretending. Me and S never talked about what feelings we might have about each others, even though it was clear that there was a connection between us.
Something else important. S is in a healthy, loving relationship too. He does not wish to leave his girlfriend.
So things gets a bit further! We start to hang out together outside of the larp. Mostly just chating, eating lunch together or helping each other to study. My boyfriend knew about me meeting him and was ok with it. I learned to know S, (and not his character) more, and really enjoyed being around him. I genuinely cared about him too.
Fast forward a few months, larp season is over. We see each other maybe once a month, it's always enjoyable, we have a lot of fun together. My feelings for my boyfriends remains the same.
A few days ago I'm at S's appartment, after we finished eating dinner. We were both slightly drunk at this point, our feet were touching under the table. He open up to me, tells me that he is really sorry, and he knows that what he is going to say will cause a lot of poo poo. He tells me he has feeling for me, and he does not consider me just like a friend, and is in love with me. And that he also loves his girlfriend very much and does not wish to leave her. I can't remember exactly what we said after because I had drunk a little too much, but I told him that what was happening didn't need to cause troubles at all. That I felt the same way about him, and that I don't believe that a person can only love one person at the same time. It was a very... magical, yet strange night. We both want this weird relationship, of caring about each other, but with no physical contacts. An emotional only kind of love, platonic. Not that we don't desire each other, but we both want to remain faithful to our partner. We parted with a long hug.
So here we are, both in love with each other, but also both very much in love with our current partner.
This is so strange, I have never heard about something like that happening, so I am a bit lost. I don't want to talk about it to anyone, as I fear I will be judged and misunderstood.
So I'm opening to you reddit! Is this possible? Can we make this work? Or am I being a huge naive fool for thinking we will be able to restrain ourselves from having any physical contact, even if we both agreed on it? I know that if I cheat on my boyfriend, I will tell him, and it will broke him. I don't want to hurt him, as he is the most precious thing I have in this world. Is it worth risking my relationship with him for another platonic relationship that also brings me hapinness?
I haven't talked to my boyfriend about it. Should I? I might. I don't know if he will understand me. My relationship with S doesn't affect my relationship with my boyfriend-- if anything, it only make me love my boyfriend more.
And another question : how much am I already being unfaithful to my current partner? Or am I? I don't know. I really need outsiders opinions.
Oh lol, I feel like Guinevere. I hope my story will end up happier than hers.
If you need more details, feel free to ask!
tl;dr : I'm in love with my boyfriend, and also with another guy, that loves me back, and also is in a healthy and loving relationship that he also doesn't wish to leave. We both want a platonic-love relationship; we do desire each other but do not want to act on it. Can this work?
I really think she missed the point of the Arthur-Lancelot-Guinevere thing if she is not expecting everything to burn down around her.
I also think she needs to look up what platonic means. It is not just a lack of sex, it is a lack of romance.
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Aug 16, 2018 15:30
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Just leave your boyfriend so you can be the other woman with honor.
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Aug 16, 2018 15:33
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I guess not going to Burning Man is out of the question.
If the guy can live on five hours of work a loving week doing whatever he wants in the short period he's working zero hours instead shouldn't prove much obstacle
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Aug 16, 2018 16:01
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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If the guy can live on five hours of work a loving week doing whatever he wants in the short period he's working zero hours instead shouldn't prove much obstacle
It's worded weirdly but I think the 5 hours/week is a side gig unrelated to the job he was just fired from.
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Aug 16, 2018 16:05
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Emotional cheating is okay right?
I really think she missed the point of the Arthur-Lancelot-Guinevere thing if she is not expecting everything to burn down around her.
I also think she needs to look up what platonic means. It is not just a lack of sex, it is a lack of romance.
comment from the OP:
quote:thank you ! your answer made me look over /r/polyamory . It wasn't what I thought it was. After a lot of reading and thinking... I'm physically monogamous, but clearly emotionnaly polyamorous. And yes I will talk to my boyfriend about it.
wanna see how that went
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Aug 16, 2018 16:13
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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It's worded weirdly but I think the 5 hours/week is a side gig unrelated to the job he was just fired from.
Yeah I misread and thought that was the twist. "techbro views Burning Man access as a human right" ain't
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Aug 16, 2018 16:18
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- Ebola Roulette
- Sep 13, 2010
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No matter what you win lose ragepiss.
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Strap in, boys and girls!
My (25F) boyfriend (50M) decided that it was against Jesus to have sex anymore 5 weeks after I had our son.
Mental illness is a hell of a thing.
I like how some of the comments blame the issue on the age gap rather than her boyfriend having a psychotic break.
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Aug 16, 2018 16:20
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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I like how some of the comments blame the issue on the age gap rather than her boyfriend having a psychotic break.
Well, it certainly doesn't help. A 47 year old going after a 22 year old isn't going to be healthy even without the psychotic break.
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Aug 16, 2018 16:20
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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That is Risk dice, an ancient Chinese game.
hawowanlawow fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Aug 16, 2018
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Aug 16, 2018 16:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 08:26
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Well, it certainly doesn't help. A 47 year old going after a 22 year old isn't going to be healthy even without the psychotic break.
I was wondering if his dick stopped working and he's using Jesus as an excuse to hide it.
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Aug 16, 2018 16:40
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