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Admiral Ray posted:This is very gross and you should just break up with him over his normal shower habits anyway, let alone this new development. "only washes the important parts" lmao. He’s probably one of those guys that can’t even wipe/wash his ‘important parts’ correctly. I’m sure we’ve had a few where part of the stank problem was they thought wiping their rear end made them ‘gay’ or something.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:06 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 17:17 |
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Pick posted:pretty sure someone's already invented Life is Beautiful fanfiction Tempted to Google but this is probably one of those ‘the Abyss stares back at you’ situations. Xenocides fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Aug 17, 2018 |
# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:09 |
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It came from Ask a Manager: My team sent me a bag of garbage while I was recovering from surgery quote:I’m currently covering a maternity leave and had to go in for a not insignificant surgery. It was complicated by the fact I seem to be working in the real-life version of Mean Girls, most frequently with a Regina George stand-in.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:34 |
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Xenocides posted:Tempted to Google but this probably one of those ‘the Abyss stares back at you’ situations. drat you because that's a great joke for a rare opportunity !!
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:36 |
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Haifisch posted:It came from Ask a Manager: “Some rear end in a top hat stole the nice gift you got for me and left a bag of garbage. Some loving people, right?”
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:37 |
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Haifisch posted:It came from Ask a Manager: You laugh with them because otherwise you've admitted your weakness and it will be exploited forever. Also bring in something really nice for everyone and talk about how you think they're great and appreciate their support. Act like you mean it.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:37 |
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"the gift you guys got me really represents yourself as a team, spot on."
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:43 |
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Say "it made me feel bad" and maintain eye contact
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:45 |
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Ask them if everything is all right at home, do they need help, tell them you know a counsellor.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:46 |
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Pick posted:You laugh with them because otherwise you've admitted your weakness and it will be exploited forever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3qHepWxn-k&t=111s
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:48 |
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CheesyDog posted:Say "it made me feel bad" and maintain eye contact "yes danny, i am the garbage" and then you push out some tears and stare like its the handmaids tale.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:48 |
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Write up a long and heartfelt email about the garbage. Come up with weird but semi-plausible ways the garbage has great meaning. The expired tea represents the length of your friendship, the shoes represent how you have all helped each other by cushioning the regular blows of normal everyday life to help all. Then you can give them random garbage as gifts whenever you want and if they call you on it look hurt and ask what part they did not understand.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:51 |
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The gift of laughter is bullshit. Explain that to your coworkers. I need dumb knickknacks that make my time in the hospital moderately better.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:55 |
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Those coworkers sound lovely but this comment is hilarious.quote:Yup. My DH’s extended family does a “dirty Christmas” (aka ‘steal your gift’) exchange every year with a set of gifts for all the guys and one for the gals. It was a real adjustment for me the first couple years I participated, because inevitably some gifts would be really nice and some would be just meh (there’s a nominal dollar amount to be spent, but in practice everyone does whatever they want), and it was hard not to get hurt feelings around stuff that got stolen from you or how your own gift was received by the group. I’d never done that sort of thing, with a school or work group or with my family of origin, so it was unexpectedly emotionally stressful. Emotionally stressed out by Yankee Swap. Holy moly.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:56 |
DragQueenofAngmar posted:My [24M] Girlfriend [23F] has the weirdest hobbies in existence, and they make me kinda uncomfortable. A hundred pages back but yeah this chick sounds fuckin amazing
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 17:58 |
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Depressio111117 posted:Those coworkers sound lovely but this comment is hilarious. I thought she was slightly overreacting to the first gift but this just seals the deal. She's got the maturity of a 4 year old if she gets bent out of shape over dirty Santa.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:25 |
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Xenocides posted:Tempted to Google but this is probably one of those ‘the Abyss stares back at you’ situations. Hot.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:38 |
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Who doesn’t know Sublime’s Date Rape? E: it’s a classic tale of betrayal, woe, justice and prison rape all in one song! Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Aug 17, 2018 |
# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:39 |
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Pvt.Scott posted:Who doesn’t know Sublime’s Date Rape? I feel for this lady but yeah this was an eye-roller 40 Oz To Freedom is a great album, lady, that part of the gift was not "garbage"
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:45 |
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Let's be real. Anyone posting on Reddit for advice isn't going to be the sharpest pencil in the box.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:50 |
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Shower guy reminds me of that old post about the guy whose sister was trying to set him up on a date, but he couldn't accept it because doing so would reveal his shameful secret: he hates brushing his teeth and has bad breath. As a result he scratched the buildup off his teeth every night with his fingers; modified his entire diet to discourage mouth germs; never stood closer than 2 feet to anyone so they couldn't smell his breath; and committed himself to dying alone. And then he ended it with, "But I don't let my aversion to brushing my teeth dictate my life." How do you even get in a shower and not get your chest clean? How do you only get your armpits and rear end wet?
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 18:54 |
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You need to use soap. He probably does get wet, but that doesn't mean clean.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:10 |
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tactlessbastard posted:I thought she was slightly overreacting to the first gift but this just seals the deal. She's got the maturity of a 4 year old if she gets bent out of shape over dirty Santa. the dirty santa person is someone else just commenting i think i can understand not wanting a scrounged together bag o' crap that seemed like people just wanted it out of their cube space. i'd rather get nothing than that. giving literal office trash means people put special effort into being dicks. not cool.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:15 |
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Leon Einstein posted:You need to use soap. He probably does get wet, but that doesn't mean clean. Getting wet usually involves getting dirty.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:17 |
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StrangersInTheNight posted:the dirty santa person is someone else just commenting i think Yeah I don't think Yankee Swap person was the OP. I could see the original post going either way honestly, depending on whether the coworkers are in fact lovely or if it was just a bad joke that landed poorly. Having to take multiple years to adjust to Yankee Swap is just funny as hell, regardless of context.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:19 |
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Hahahah remember that episode of the office where Michael has them do Yankee Swap because he hates the lovely oven mitt he got and wants to get rid of it and everyone gets their feelings hurt and he has to make it up to them by buying like 10 handles of vodka
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:41 |
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I mean, personally I'm not a fan of Yankee swaps but I've historically worked with a bunch of dicks that will instantly steal everything good. at least at that job most people just brought booze anyway
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:44 |
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TheKennedys posted:I mean, personally I'm not a fan of Yankee swaps but I've historically worked with a bunch of dicks that will instantly steal everything good. at least at that job most people just brought booze anyway Lol my girlfriend and I were the last people to join a Yankee swap for a work event and we both won making everyone instantly hate us. Also she was the first person to steal a gift and set off a chain reaction of backstabbing and betrayal with all the gifts after hers
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 19:53 |
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Yankee swaps are the only good thing about christmas besides the Reeses Christmas Trees
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:00 |
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So... she’s upset that she got a cool Sublime album?
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:06 |
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Haifisch posted:It came from Ask a Manager: Take a poo poo on each of their desks and then act like they're the weird ones for not getting the 'joke' TheKennedys posted:I mean, personally I'm not a fan of Yankee swaps but I've historically worked with a bunch of dicks that will instantly steal everything good. at least at that job most people just brought booze anyway I thought the way these things worked was that the gifts were wrapped at leas semi-concealingly so it's a bit of a guessing game which ones are good, cause that's the version I've seen and that's way less idiotic I'd give away poo poo like a huge box containing a tiny novelty anvil A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Aug 17, 2018 |
# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:08 |
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e: nvm
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:09 |
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Yankee swap destroyed any relationship between me and my uncle, because I stole a water bottle and Starbucks gift card from him one Christmas. It was a ten dollar gift and you're seventy, get over yourself you old oval office.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:31 |
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TheKennedys posted:I mean, personally I'm not a fan of Yankee swaps but I've historically worked with a bunch of dicks that will instantly steal everything good. at least at that job most people just brought booze anyway I always bring something my mom gave me that is nice but in no way fitting my aesthetic and then everyone flips out that there's something "good" in the mix and I'm like haha you dumb suckers. One time it was a new Kate Spade because moooom you know I don't loving wear Kate Spaaaade
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:32 |
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When she committed suicide I felt really bad that I was always calling her stuff gently caress-ugly.
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 20:49 |
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Pick has been stirring up trouble again.quote:Me [23F] with my cousin [20F] is making my life miserable over taxidermy, how do I fix this?
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:01 |
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why on the bed though
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:08 |
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Snugglin’ the corpse-teddy, nbd
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:19 |
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You can be into taxidermy all you like but if someone starts calling it "cute", you can't act surprised later when they keep acting like a psychopath
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:20 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 17:17 |
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There is a difference between liking taxidermy and keeping a corpse on your bed as a stuffed toy
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# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:25 |