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ewe2
Jul 1, 2009

Djeser posted:

twas the night when jack chick decided to read
a bunch of bad poems while drinking some mead
except it was whiskey but that didn't rhyme
he got drunker and drunker and drunk the whole time

:five: you've saved us all a lot of time!

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Lotus Aura
Aug 16, 2009

KNEEL BEFORE THE WICKED KING!
And what happened then? Well, on the F Plus they say
That Jack Chick's poor liver grew three sizes that day.

change my name
Aug 27, 2007

Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

I usually correct the bad poetry in my head as they're reading to make it work (the findom take on the Night Before Christmas had a bunch of missed opportunities) but couldn't even try this time

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

https://twitter.com/TheFPlus/status/1031028062341738496

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
:woop:

For anyone who doesn't follow the PYF terrible book thread:

C.M. Kruger posted:

"Men's Adventure" stuff is low hanging fruit but nonetheless check out this garbage I found:


The Amazon description is in allcaps:

quote:

BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH HELLFIRE, THERE’S CAINE DEATHWALKER, RAISED AS A DEMON, ARMED LIKE A GUN MERCHANT, AND FUELED BY BOOZE. NICE IS A DIRTY WORD AND KILLING IS WHAT HE DOES BEST. MAKE A CONTRACT WITH HELL, AND HE COULD BE ON YOUR SIDE, GOD HELP YOU.

IN THE WHITE JADE REAPER:

DRACULA WANTS HIS COFFIN BACK. CAINE’S ON THE JOB. ONE HITCH, A LITTLE GHOST GIRL IS HAUNTING HIS DREAMS, WANTING HIM TO FIND HER KILLER, TOO. NO PROBLEM; WHAT’S ONE MORE BODY AMONG THOSE THAT KEEP PILING UP? SINCE DEALING WITH THE DEAD ISN’T HIS THING, CAINE REUNITES WITH AN OLD FRIEND WHO’S A LIVING DOORWAY INTO THE GHOST REALM. GRACE BRINGS ALONG TWO CHAPERONES: MADISON, A VAMPIRE SLAYER IN TRAINING AND TUKKA, A TWO TON FU DOG ADDICTED TO CHOCOLATE.

SANTA FE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

And "Look Inside", jfc it's exactly what you'd expect from something that looks like a Da Share Z0ne parody.


Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Aug 19, 2018

Lumbermouth
Mar 6, 2008

GREG IS BIG NOW


Yessssss it's been too long since they've done terrible fiction. Hopefully this terrible Sandman Slim knock-off will reach Hanz von Hozel/Story Provider levels.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth
DRACULA WANTS HIS COFFIN BACK

change my name
Aug 27, 2007

Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.


Hell yes, back to back bad genre fiction episodes (I specifically loaded the smashwords document up with bad sci-fi because it's my favorite)

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay
Oh gosh it's one of my favorite type of docs :allears: I wish I had the dedication to pure poo poo that those authors do.

I also thought it looked like Da Share Z0ne stuff the instant I saw the cover.

ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

sexpig by night posted:

DRACULA WANTS HIS COFFIN BACK

Uggggghhh I want this book to rule so much...

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

ManMythLegend posted:

Uggggghhh I want this book to rule so much...

a terrible book can still rule, my good dude

ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

sexpig by night posted:

a terrible book can still rule, my good dude

Oh I know, but I've got a bad feeling this book is going to be bad in all of the wrong ways.

A Moose
Oct 22, 2009



I really really hope they get J.W. Friedman in this one!

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

I just want the F Plus to do a What Is Your Fave

Warbird
May 23, 2012

America's Favorite Dumbass

The crew diving into the wild wet world of rivals.com and other college football team dedicated forums would be an entertaining nightmare to listen to. Like Paul Finebaum but with more drinking.

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop
I had an idea for a new doc last week, but quickly ran into this dead-end:

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Warbird posted:

The crew diving into the wild wet world of rivals.com and other college football team dedicated forums would be an entertaining nightmare to listen to. Like Paul Finebaum but with more drinking.

nah dog

castefootball

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

china bot posted:

I had an idea for a new doc last week, but quickly ran into this dead-end:
Doobie on The F+ sure would have been a thing.

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Doobie on The F+ sure would have been a thing.

There have been more than a few doobies smoked on the fplus, I'm sure.

Bunnybread
Feb 16, 2012

Alaois posted:

nah dog

castefootball

Many years ago, I actually tried to get some content from both Rivals and Castefootball.
I didn't really get much out of Rivals as I found that I would have had to explain a lot of football jargon and references to the gaggle of Anime Clubbers. This would have left most of the readers and listeners bewildered and unable to naturally follow the text, just like how I feel for 95% of the topics.

Castefootball pretty much had the same problem.... plus a lotta lovely racism.

I'm probably just bad at mining for content. I read em a whole lot better than I find em.

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

I still need to get off my rear end one day and try to put together a doc of dudes with strong opinions about circumcision.

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
Hey Bunnybread, why hasn't that nerd Lemon re-released the Football Congress jerseys yet? :colbert:

Warbird
May 23, 2012

America's Favorite Dumbass

I feel like the lack of jargon explaining would be in its advantage though. “drat BARNERS PAID OFF SCAM’S DADDY SO WE KEELED THEM TREES PAAAAAAAWL!” That being said I don’t make docs, so I’m sure that wouldn’t play ball for some reason or the other.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

Bunnybread posted:

I'm probably just bad at mining for content. I read em a whole lot better than I find em.
Didn't you find Sissykiss?

Bunnybread
Feb 16, 2012

Warbird posted:

I’m sure that wouldn’t play ball for some reason or the other.

It wouldn't cause they don't.

But, seriously, regarding sports jargon: I think I remember one time we ended up reading a brief section on MMA and there were some submission holds being discussed. The names were causing a lot of giggles for the rest of the readers so I didn't feel like ruining their collective fun with an actual explanation.

...and that little Nerdlinger McDorkPants (level 1.5 Bard) won't put them jerseys back up because he'd have to advertise em via my beautifully unflexed guns.
He knows that he can't stare into that sexual abyss any longer without falling in completely.

Warbird
May 23, 2012

America's Favorite Dumbass

So I had an idea and I’m very sad to say that it bore fruit. I hate all of you.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
I got as far as the first three words of the end of the URL.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Bunnybread posted:

It wouldn't cause they don't.

But, seriously, regarding sports jargon: I think I remember one time we ended up reading a brief section on MMA and there were some submission holds being discussed. The names were causing a lot of giggles for the rest of the readers so I didn't feel like ruining their collective fun with an actual explanation.

...and that little Nerdlinger McDorkPants (level 1.5 Bard) won't put them jerseys back up because he'd have to advertise em via my beautifully unflexed guns.
He knows that he can't stare into that sexual abyss any longer without falling in completely.

I will just take this opportunity to say I've always appreciated your explanation of Fedor Emilianenko all the way back in whenever the gently caress that episode was

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby
Sports forums nutters are hilarious but a lot of the humor comes from knowing the sport/team/context to some degree.

Man ranting about anime waifus is universal because we all know what love and relationships are, and Miksune Evangeline or whatever is an oddball fixation.

The nonsense from sports would be as casually impenetrable as bitcoin and Star Citizen, unfortunately.

Edit: a Kobe doc might work, now that he's retired and winning Oscars and still hissing at courts from afar

kalensc fucked around with this message at 04:23 on Aug 21, 2018

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

kalensc posted:

Sports forums nutters are hilarious but a lot of the humor comes from knowing the sport/team/context to some degree.

Man ranting about anime waifus is universal because we all know what love and relationships are, and Miksune Evangeline or whatever is an oddball fixation.

The nonsense from sports would be as casually impenetrable as bitcoin and Star Citizen, unfortunately.

Edit: a Kobe doc might work, now that he's retired and winning Oscars and still hissing at courts from afar

Yea once you poach the easy targets of '40 year old white guys genuinely angry that LeBron is just objectively one of the greatest players and not at all apologetic about it' and 'mma fans who insist if they could just 'get mad' in the cage they'd beat anyone' you've just got a lot of poo poo that relies on 'ok so these two teams are rivals and a couple super bowls ago one of them blew a really great chance for an upset against a hated team so now the other team makes fun of them for whiffing it even though they weren't even near contention for the super bowl that year themselves so it's kinda weird'.

Bunnybread
Feb 16, 2012

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Didn't you find Sissykiss?

Sissykiss didn't happen. I have no memory of it and neither do you.





Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I got the Johnny Suenami stuff on a lawyer site and that's about it for my doc contributions.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Bunnybread posted:

Sissykiss didn't happen. I have no memory of it and neither do you.





Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I got the Johnny Suenami stuff on a lawyer site and that's about it for my doc contributions.

Real dolls.

Bunnybread
Feb 16, 2012

Ahh yes! You are correct!

Though I'm not really sure if it counts as it was shared with me by a friend. I just showed it to Lemon.
I get check THIS poo poo out credit I think. Just didn't really grab any text or anything.


Again, I don't find em. I just read em. Let's all thank Portaxx for finding that Legolas story because I would have had nothing to read, otherwise.

Bunnybread fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Aug 21, 2018

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
I read a thing. Click at your own risk.

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal

Sham bam bamina! posted:

I read a thing. Click at your own risk.

That's one of the nastiest readings I've heard, thanks

PJOmega
May 5, 2009

Sham bam bamina! posted:

I read a thing. Click at your own risk.

I'm gonna go drink a bottle of tequila and hope I forget the last five minutes of your life.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

PJOmega posted:

I'm gonna go drink a bottle of tequila and hope I forget the last five minutes of your life.
OK, but don't drink it down to the bottom!

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Sham bam bamina! posted:

OK, but don't drink it down to the bottom!

That's mezcal, dumbass.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

That's mezcal, dumbass.
And it's a caterpillar, not a worm. I know. Can't I just make a hacky joke?

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Aug 22, 2018

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Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

Why would you do this?

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