Haifisch posted:

I [21M] am uncomfortable with gf [21F] of two years's music choices during sex

Haifisch posted:

I [21M] am uncomfortable with gf [21F] of two years's music choices during sex

Blade Runner posted:

The issue is that she utterly lacks interest in sex

How exactly do you define asexual

Haifisch posted:

I [21M] am uncomfortable with gf [21F] of two years's music choices during sex

hawowanlawow posted:

If you're asexual, find another asexual person to be with. Otherwise you're an rear end in a top hat

Haifisch posted:

I [21M] am uncomfortable with gf [21F] of two years's music choices during sex

Anne Whateley posted:

The issue is that she doesn't initiate. Which again can be a legit relationship problem, but if she were what most people recognize as asexual, she would turn him down when he initiated, she wouldn't be okay with it, she might think it's gross and be upset about it, she would want never to have sex again. None of those things show up in what she wrote.

Otoh she refers to "asexuality in its different forms" and "I’m not sure fully where I fit in on that [asexuality] spectrum." If you look at this asexuality community on the internet, like she's been doing, literally anything short of "I want to gently caress strangers the moment I see them" is on "the asexuality spectrum," so no kidding she sees herself there now that she's looking for it.

I think they're incompatible for sure, but I think her actual issue is just having a somewhat lower sex drive than he does (which is so common it's addressed in every women's magazine), not actually being asexual as non-Tumblr people would understand it.

tactlessbastard posted:

People that need music on to get anyone done drive my loving banana.

quote:

u/flounder19601953
First of all, we’ve been dating for 5 years and we live together. His mom has never been okay with us sleeping in the same bed, and even makes a fuss if we’re alone in his bedroom with the door closed during the day. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable when we were 20. Now that we’re 25, I’ve completely had it. I’m sick of being treated like a sneaky teenager.

We’ve tried talking about this rationally with his mom, but she always says that if we want to be “treated like adults” in her home, then we should “make the adult decision” and get married. I’m not ready to get married yet and I’m not going to be bullied into it by some awkward sleeping arrangements. It’s really weird and manipulative. And it really makes me feel like a horny 16-year-old instead of an adult in a committed relationship.

We’re going to visit next month, and I told my boyfriend I’m not going unless we stay at a hotel. I understand that it’s his mom’s house and her rules, but I also understand that I don’t have to stay there if I don’t want to follow those rules.

My boyfriend says he’s not sure about the hotel because it might send “too strong of a message”. I think after five years, it’s time to send a strong message. I want my relationship respected and I want to be treated like an adult. And if I have to stay at a hotel for that to happen, so be it.

Just looking for some outside perspective on this. What do you think?

Tl;dr boyfriend’s mom won’t let us sleep in the same room after 5 years of dating. I feel disrespected and want to start staying in hotels instead

chitoryu12 posted:

Both of them have very boring sex music taste.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I figured the music is more to cover over the sound of loving to be less rude to your neighbors/flatmates.

quote:

u/throwawayequalsnull
I'll preface this by saying I don't blame him at all, we were both drunk after going out and I consented. I'm upset with my drunk self basically.

Soooo... I always told my boyfriend of 2 years that I wanted to save my backdoor virginity until marriage. Not for religious reasons or anything like that obviously, just out of personal preference it was something I told myself I didn't want to do until marriage and something I wanted to save for just my husband and I. I wanted to keep some kind of "first" to have.

We went out with friends and got drunk, ended up at a popular sex shop downtown where I got a free "gift" with my lingerie purchase, it was lube specifically for anal.

We get home, start fooling around and he asks to use the lube I say sure one thing leads to another and he asks to do the deed and I say yes.

I woke up the next morning realizing what happened and just feel so bummed out about it. I completely regret it and have these feelings of resentment that I can't shake. I know it's not his fault, we were both drunk and I said yes when he asked. I know it sounds dumb or like not a big deal to a lot of people but I just feel so bummed out over the whole ordeal.

I usually have a very high sex drive but since it happened I have 0 desire to sleep with him and thinking about sex in general kind of upsets me.

I don't want a drunken dumb decision to ruin our relationship but I can't shake the negative feelings I have over the encounter.

TL;DR - let my boyfriend have anal sex with me when I was drunk, regret it completely.

Milotic posted:

Let’s start with something light

I (25/f) am considering not spending the night at my boyfriend’s (25/m) house anymore because his mom won’t let us sleep in the same room

Araenna posted:

Most asexual people do feel romantic attraction, and want to be in loving relationships for the same reason everyone else does. I'm not sure why you'd assume that someone not wanting or liking sex means they can't fall in love.

Milotic posted:

[NSFW] let boyfriend [24M] do something in bed while I [21F] was drunk and I really regret it

Milotic posted:

 I just feel so bummed out over the whole ordeal. 

Blade Runner posted:

tactlessbastard posted:

People that need music on to get anything done drive me loving bananas.

Milotic posted:

Let’s start with something light

I (25/f) am considering not spending the night at my boyfriend’s (25/m) house anymore because his mom won’t let us sleep in the same room

quote:

My (19F) boyfriend (20M) threatened to break up when I asked him to stop making sexual remarks.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We have completely different libidos. He has very high sex drive, I don’t really like touching other people at all. This has resulted in numerous cases of us having sex or laying together when I was quite uncomfortable. We’ve had many, many a discussion as well as argument about how we need to meet in the middle. He says he’ll cut down on asking, will for a few days, then go back to asking every day. I feel as if I can’t say no, because when I do his entire mood changes. He gets sad/irritable, doesn’t talk, and doesn’t really want to be around me anymore. The only time he really compliments me is when I’m naked. He’ll call me cute occasionally, but unless I’m naked the only compliments I get are on my butt or boobs. I sleep in only undies and a t-shirt, so today I woke up, walked past him on the couch to the bathroom then put on some shorts. When I came back to sit with him on the couch, he said “well that’s no fun, why’d you have to put on pants?” “I didn’t really want you to try and have sex with me 10 minutes before you go to work.” He got quite upset, saying “well that’s just another loving thing I have to tiptoe around you with” and talking about how “you ask a million loving things from me, let me just change every thing about my being for you.” I have never asked anything random or bizarre from him. I’ve asked him to clean up after himself, turn off lights/tv, close/lock doors. Yenno, normal things I shouldn’t even have to ask from someone. Aside from the asking him to stop asking for sex every day, and compliment me on something other than my assets, I’ve never really asked anything else of him. I explained this and he still went about how exhausting it is that I ask so much of him. I said, in tears at this point, “if you can’t do one thing I ask of you that makes me uncomfortable then why don’t you just leave?” and he screams “Ve been loving thinking about it” slams the door and leaves. I’ve already packed his stuff, and I’m pretty sure we won’t be together any longer after we’re both off work tonight. He texted me before he went in, saying he doesn’t feel valued, he wishes I complimented him more, and that he doesn’t want to break up.

I’m not too sure what I’m asking from this, maybe just wondering if I am in the right to feel disrespected? Is this a valid reason to break up with someone that you love?

**TL;DR: boyfriend said he’s been thinking about breaking up with me after I asked him to stop making sexual remarks towards me nonstop. Should we break up over this?

failing forward posted:

So for years my dad said my partners weren't permitted to sleep in the same room as me, regardless of how old I was, when I came to visit their home. He always said, "My house, my rules", that sort of deal. When I started dating my husband, after we'd been together for about 8 months, I took him to my parents to introduce them and when my dad tried to pull his shtick, I said no, and if he didn't like it, we'd go to a motel. He caved immediately. This dude is a loving weenie.

quote:

I wanted to save my backdoor virginity until marriage.

quote:

u/cactusclaz
Boyfriend is very close with his primary schoolmate somehow (I know, not very common. I can’t even name most of my primary schoolmate but bear with me.) Even his ex is his primary schoolmate who he reconnected when he was in university (who would have thought that hah). Every year they would be a gathering together having dinner or something. However, this year is different. From what my boyfriend mentioned to me, it seems like many within the group are undergoing breakup with their own significant other, and then somehow after a round of discussion, someone suggested to hold a group trip together, to Thailand, to (actual quote)”fix the relationship problems all together”.

I was very perplexed and uncomfortable to the statement when I first heard. If I do not know my boyfriend at all, to be frank, that 100% sounds like a 5-on-5 orgy scene going on. Boyfriend reassured me that’s not the case, it would just be a 2 nights 3 days trip where a bunch of old friends holding hands running to the sunshine etc.

I am not asking whether I should let him go. The problem is, I already told him my concern in a very serious one-on-one fashion, and I have even warned him that if he decides to go eventually, he shall also expect a downturn of our relationship as well after he comes back. However, after a couple day, he seems to think I have all ok with it once I am not talking about it anymore. And he seems to have decided to go anyway, so “not to fall behind of the group”.

Real question: what are my option now? Am I the clingy controlling girlfriend now?

Also please note that this is not a causal relationship between me and my boyfriend. We have seen each other’s family, talked about marriage and are now saving together to buy our house - it is this kind of seriousness I am talking about. But now it just seems to be all air-talks doesnt it

Thank you in advance for all your input.

TLDR - Boyfriend’d like to go on a trip to Thailand with a mixed-gender friend group. Some within which are single and hoping to “fix their relationships” out of this trip. I am worried this might cross my boundary.

quote:

I am not asking whether I should let him go. The problem is, I already told him my concern in a very serious one-on-one fashion, and I have even warned him that if he decides to go eventually, he shall also expect a downturn of our relationship as well after he comes back.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Wasn't there a summer movie all about a bunch of parents trying to stop their teenagers from having an orgy?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Wasn't there a summer movie all about a bunch of parents trying to stop their teenagers from having an orgy?

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Who said romance is dead

Taima posted:

Yeah we just watched it, it was ok I guess but it wasn't about an orgy.

The kids were just all gonna *eggplant emoji* *peach emoji* after prom. Get it, because kids do the emojis? That was an actual joke in the movie. There were numerous jokes based on emojis, i would say roughly 10 emoji jokes for the parents to laugh at, ya know? Just good clean fun.