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G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Phrosphor posted:

Was I dreaming or was there a 'free' weekend for Star Citizen last weekend? Was there any fallout from that?

Umm.

Well...

Maybe...

These are just random finds, not the result of deep dives. There are surely many more experiences and possibly some are more positive. I’ve not seen one but I’m sure they’re out there. Somewhere.

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lofi
Apr 2, 2018




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=macU8G7At1A
:allears:

Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos

any specific highlights in that 5hr youtube?

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




Oh, my bad, I meant to start at the highlight -
stolen from Gorf's link

SpeakSlow
May 17, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Wandered over here from the Politics section of SA. Feels right at home alongside the Freep and RWM threads.

Has anyone written a book about this yet? This is a treasure trove of incompetence and grift and that's an opportunity to tell a way better story than Star Citizen could even dream of.

Great investigative work, goons.

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:
August Set 8

Drunk Theory posted:

*Rushes in out of breath*
gently caress whatever you all are talking about. New jpg!

Have a horrible wiki link, since VIP members only ATM
https://starcitizen.tools/Mercury

So yah, only $200 fresh cash (225 store credit)

Scruffpuff posted:

quote:

Oh and this ship is a data runner, perfect for slipping by blockades.

Blockades are now a thing in this game.
On earth, blockades are a thing because things moving on land are restricted to two dimensions. Aircraft and submarines changed the face of warfare because they added a Z-axis and made traditional blockades irrelevant in certain circumstances.

So naturally in space where you can move in every single possible direction "blockades" are still a thing because

Othin posted:

Hahahahahahahaha how the gently caress are space blockades real Hahahaha Citizen just fly around it like Commando just pull up Haha

Kikas posted:

quote:

Hellllooooo people. Delurking just to point out ...

that is a loving KRAIT MKII from Elite Dangerous! Seriously. What the hell.
Lmao you're not kidding.



TheAgent posted:

The lag is because someone decided to load up a ship with 2.5 million polygons when there's already a shitload of other high fidelity ships sitting on the landing pads.

When the server is empty, you get great frames, not because of the magical server tick rate, but because there aren't millions and millions of high res textured polys with shaders and particle effects flying around your screen yet.

I don't understand why Citizens don't understand this; hell, the network programmers stated that their network improvements will not improve framerates, already.

Here's the bottom line: Chris Roberts hosed up and you get bad framerates because there's too much poo poo to render. Bind culling might help in certain instances, but it sure as poo poo won't matter in firefights with more than five or six ships in close proximity.

G0RF posted:

YOUTUBE: Ship Shape - The Mercury Star Runner

Paul Jones again reminds us of the delicate placation rituals involved when getting concept approvals from His Majesty.

Lando is making me wonder if this Bar Citizen Q&A is more about selling the Mercury than, say, telling backers what to expect with 3.3 or the like. How surprising.

Beet Wagon posted:

From their new lovely attempt at an ARG to gin up concept sales:



From an article over a year ago:



This makes me supremely confident that they in fact have many renders of this "almost done" alien species and have not completely forgotten it, relying on concept art from half a decade ago to prop up their ailing scam.

Bonus: "encryption protocal"





G0RF posted:

This is an “Am I too stupid to play Star Citizen?” redux

Random streamer tries Star Marine.

He tries the Persistent Universe.

He tries again.

And again.

Now, he has a Citizen tour guide with him. Listen to the interactions as the noob explains his inability to open doors because he’s trapped in his spawn room.

“Don’t worry about that. That’s (door opening in year 6) a work in progress. A lot of things are a work in progress. But a lot of things are just AMBITIOUS and incredibly beautiful unlike any other game I’ve ever experienced..”

His friendly guide goes on while the streamer clicks ineffectually on the door. Trapped. His guide attempts to free him. It fails. Fifteen minutes later, he exits to menu.

Three hours and twenty minutes later, he tries a fourth time.

The server worse than ever, he exits to menu.

And again.

This time four hours into his stream, he manages to escape the spawn room. His host has summoned a ship and beckons just off the landing pad with promises of co-piloting adventures...

Only to have his ship despawn before the streamer can jump out to him.

Um, CIG, I hate to point out the obvious again two and a half years after McArthur’s ill-fated Free Flight experience, but you still have a slight playability problem. It’s not THEM, it’s YOU. And all the friendly tour guide whales in the world are not enough to compensate for these kinds of shortcomings.

trucutru posted:

It's pretty pro-click

That shill has some smooth as gently caress voice. Smooth.
"Everything is so ambitious and beautiful in this game, like no other game I have played. The game costs 45 bucks to get in, everything else accessible, you don't have to buy ships, you can jump in my ship, eventually you'll be able to buy ships in game."


I swear to corbears this is an actual quote:
"The only reason you buy ships right now is to back the game that you have dreamed about your whole life. And some people are dreaming about star citizen because it's an incredibly beautiful sci-fi game."

Beet Wagon posted:

Fuuuuuck, that "guide" sounded so loving slimy. The way he just immediately rolls from "it's a work in progress" to "It's so ambitious though, everything they're doing is so much better than any other game" while his host is straight up staring at a nonfunctioning door is really something. Like... wow. I mean I shouldn't be surprised by it cause it's all the same poo poo I've read a billion times, but something about hearing it combined with that dude's weirdo sex pest voice is p gross.


EightAce posted:

Straight from the intergalactic news van

Foundry 42 are expanding from 270 odd to 315 staff members .
They are moving buildings to a bigger campus in the next 6 months
Sq42 is scheduled for release end of 2019 early 2020. It exists but it's loving awful
All resources are on sq42 anything else you see is bullshit to get dollars
A lot of cash has suddenly appeared I have no idea where from or how, but it gives at least another 2 years dev time and lawsuit payoffs


Lots of people will say this is bullshit but it's straight from the horses/bears mouth

Neltharak posted:

Chris Roberts : For, when we hear one rack the call of AAAs
Abjure Greed and its partner on-disc DLC,
We fly in hope to get glorious pledges.
Nor will we come unless he use such means
Whereby he is in danger to be scammed.


Backer : Stay, Chris Roberts, and tell me, what good will my wallet do thy game?

Chris Roberts : Enlarge it's fidelity.

Backer : Is that the reason he tempts us thus?

Chris Roberts : Solamen miseris socios habuisse reddere.


Beet Wagon : Now tell me when it comes out ?

Chris Roberts : I will not.

Beet Wagon : Sweet Crobbear, tell me.

Chris Roberts : Move me not, Beet Wagon.

Beet Wagon : Villain, have i not pledged and become your publisher ?

Chris Roberts : Ay, that is not against our TOS.
This is. Thou art scammed, think thou of ships.

Beet Wagon : Think, Beet Wagon, upon Derek that blogged in July.

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

I sighted the primary target during the free fly weekend. He entered a Skyrim sized crater and lost him among: the thriving virtual city rife with NPCs and players, the fleet of attacking pirates, the dense vegetation, the incredibly detailed and awe inspiring geography, the landscape texture after he clipped through the planets surface.



G0RF posted:

YOUTUBE: Calling All Devs - Robbit Season

Haven’t watched it but downvotes exceed upvotes, apparently due to audio issues(?)

:lol: No audio on his first interview, right after Lando says “I’m a professional!”

He’s filmed several episodes back to back so he can get his European vacation on. So these are going to get staler as we go.

AngusPodgorny posted:

This is the the next level in CIG videos. Now you get to imagine the developer saying whatever words you want to hear.

Preen Dog posted:

Worth Clicking: YOUTUBE:Calling All Devs (Audio Corrected)

They are crowdsourcing detractors to finish videos for them.




==CyberPunk 2077 showed a 45min gameplay preview==

Beet Wagon posted:

I'm the reddit comments pointing out how the two games are totally different genres and thus there's no point comparing them, while also arguing that Star Citizen is going to be a genre-breaking masterpiece that makes huge advancements in tech, mechanics, storytelling, and graphical fidelity.

Dr. VooDoo posted:

“In order to not compete with CyberPunk and give players a truly unique experience we have changed SQ42 into something wholly new that we feel players will enjoy even more than previous iterations”

*Shows a trailer of Mario Kart 8 with robot heads photoshopped on*

Aqua Seafoam Shame posted:

I didn't get a chance to see the whole thing. Were there any long, drawn-out walking scenes down an empty hallway?

happyhippy posted:

Didn't show them carrying a box up a ramp, so it's poo poo.

Mr. Carlisle posted:

If Infinite Warfare made Chris poo poo his pants and send his SQ42 team back to the drawing board that gameplay demo probably drat near killed him

Quavers posted:

:reddit: posted:

I don't think this is directly related to SC.

:reddit: posted:

yeah, it looks like a functional game
:boom: :drat:


Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos

why the gently caress does the hud bounce around like this, seems super annoying
https://i.imgur.com/OtNdyFi.gifv

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

why the gently caress does the hud bounce around like this, seems super annoying
https://i.imgur.com/OtNdyFi.gifv

“It’s called IMMERSION, dammit!”

You must adapt to the demands of the world’s first Quadruple A game or be consigned to only experiencing the meager thrills of the Triple A world. I hope you have the wisdom to make the right choice.

Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos

G0RF posted:

“It’s called IMMERSION, dammit!”

You must adapt to the demands of the world’s first Quadruple A game or be consigned to only experiencing the meager thrills of the Triple A world. I hope you have the wisdom to make the right choice.

i feel like an FTL (inter?)galactic civilization would be able to have walking correcting display technology but im no quad A game dev

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




jiggle physics confirmed. :wiggle:

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

i feel like an FTL (inter?)galactic civilization would be able to have walking correcting display technology but im no quad A game dev

There can be only one.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


lofi posted:

jiggle physics confirmed. :wiggle:

Well, you need it for all that involuntary erotic gameplay/rape some citizens want.

El Grillo
Jan 3, 2008
Fun Shoe

SpeakSlow posted:

Wandered over here from the Politics section of SA. Feels right at home alongside the Freep and RWM threads.

Has anyone written a book about this yet? This is a treasure trove of incompetence and grift and that's an opportunity to tell a way better story than Star Citizen could even dream of.

Great investigative work, goons.
Some day Derek Smart will write a book about this, which will just be a compilation of his infinitely long and infinitely incoherent and terrible blog posts. It will simultaneously be the longest single publication in history, and the worst.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
But it will be published.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


El Grillo posted:

Some day Derek Smart will write a book about this, which will just be a compilation of his infinitely long and infinitely incoherent and terrible blog posts. It will simultaneously be the longest single publication in history, and the worst.

Step aside John Galt, there is a new king in town.

Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos
For twelve years, you have been asking: What is Star Citizen? This is Star Citizen speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values.

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




A citizen pilots, a goon obeys.

Skyscraper
Oct 1, 2004

Hurry Up, We're Dreaming



G0RF posted:

There can be only one.



Edit: Aw nevermind the logo in the corner gave it away, or would have if I looked hard enough.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

El Grillo posted:

Some day Derek Smart will write a book about this, which will just be a compilation of his infinitely long and infinitely incoherent and terrible blog posts. It will simultaneously be the longest single publication in history, and the worst.

It'll just be a printout of the Star Citizen threads here

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Skyscraper posted:

Edit: Aw nevermind the logo in the corner gave it away, or would have if I looked hard enough.

The quote is real though. (Although I think Rockstar knows better than to even try to tussle with the Code Whisperer in the marketplace.)

Hav
Dec 11, 2009

Fun Shoe

Foo Diddley posted:

It'll just be a printout of the Star Citizen threads here

With tiny scribbled annotations and drawings of penises.


G0RF posted:

The quote is real though. (Although I think Rockstar knows better than to even try to tussle with the Code Whisperer in the marketplace.)

Rockstar are terrified, which is why they're hiding in the Western era. They know better than to challenge the Robert's colossus on his home ground of space.

Edit: Star Citizen: The Coffee Table Edition.

Hav fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Aug 29, 2018

Skyscraper
Oct 1, 2004

Hurry Up, We're Dreaming



G0RF posted:

The quote is real though. (Although I think Rockstar knows better than to even try to tussle with the Code Whisperer in the marketplace.)

Oh, sure, I just can't imagine they'd want to publicize that he said that, certainly not with that photo.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015






why the gently caress does the hud bounce around like this, seems super annoying
https://i.imgur.com/OtNdyFi.gifv
[/quote]

This is the "toned down" version too. Originally, the whole viewpoint bobbed with every step, and it legit made people sick

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016

Foo Diddley posted:

It'll just be a printout of the Star Citizen threads here

Derek’s greatest crime was limiting the flow of information; an exciting new source would join the thread and he would immediately shut them down under false legal pretense in order to control the narrative. Thread is ultimately better without him. Still waiting for him to burn the jpeg ships to ashes (I do support him in his crusade against SC, but not his presence on SA).

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
Every time new information comes out, I’m filled with relief that I don’t have to endure The Derek Cycle anymore.
1. New information arrives in thread
2. Discussion ensues
3. Derek Kramers into the thread to highlight a piece of information we already picked clean.
4. When this is pointed out, Derek explains that he’s known about this information for way longer than we have because of sources/inside info/gamedev knowledge only he possesses.
5. Someone points out this is horseshit.
6. Derek argues a completely different point that he knows he can win, and uses this to support why his original point was in fact correct.
7. Someone again calls horseshit.
8. Derek sulks until…
1. New information arrives in thread.
The circle has been broken, by and by(e).

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Torquemada posted:

Every time new information comes out, I’m filled with relief that I don’t have to endure The Derek Cycle anymore.
1. New information arrives in thread
2. Discussion ensues
3. Derek Kramers into the thread to highlight a piece of information we already picked clean.
4. When this is pointed out, Derek explains that he’s known about this information for way longer than we have because of sources/inside info/gamedev knowledge only he possesses.
5. Someone points out this is horseshit.
6. Derek argues a completely different point that he knows he can win, and uses this to support why his original point was in fact correct.
7. Someone again calls horseshit.
8. Derek sulks until…
1. New information arrives in thread.
The circle has been broken, by and by(e).

Should have just asked him for a refund on your Battlecruiser 3000 purchase every time he showed up.

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

Torquemada posted:

Every time new information comes out, I’m filled with relief that I don’t have to endure The Derek Cycle anymore.
1. New information arrives in thread
2. Discussion ensues
3. Derek Kramers into the thread to highlight a piece of information we already picked clean.
4. When this is pointed out, Derek explains that he’s known about this information for way longer than we have because of sources/inside info/gamedev knowledge only he possesses.
5. Someone points out this is horseshit.
6. Derek argues a completely different point that he knows he can win, and uses this to support why his original point was in fact correct.
7. Someone again calls horseshit.
8. Derek sulks until…
1. New information arrives in thread.
The circle has been broken, by and by(e).

Source your quotes.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
See, for me it was:

1. Derek posts some stuff
2. He gets a dozen new avatars

I never really read many of his posts. Sorry Derek, lol

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Source your quotes.
Read the blog. All of it. Two weeks.

Omnicrom
Aug 3, 2007
Snorlax Afficionado


I read one of Derek's blog articles, got to the logical end, and realized I'd only read through about 30% of it. Then I stopped reading Derek posts.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Is Derek still loving the chicken that is claiming to be Star Citizen's biggest enemy?

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




At this point in the SC insanity, I'm willing to take that literally.

Hav
Dec 11, 2009

Fun Shoe

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Is Derek still loving the chicken that is claiming to be Star Citizen's biggest enemy?

You don't get to be notorious on the internet by claiming to be one amongst the many enemies of a thing.

Nickiepoo
Jun 24, 2013

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Is Derek still loving the chicken that is claiming to be Star Citizen's biggest enemy?

In fairness SC fans have also claimed this.

also rofl @ this username.

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:
August Set 9

A Commando posted:

If comes out in 2022 or 2023 or 2030 it does not matter, it's the fault of backers who do not know patience and should learn that a work that aims to revolutionize video-game world and more broadly the human culture of entertainment is not created in 5, 6 or 7 years.

Chris Robert is not just a video game developer president and founder of CIG, he's a prophet, a man who has a vision and who is guiding his teams to territories that have never been explored before. Immersion and loyalty, millions of people around the world have been convinced by this vision and every day thousands of new citizens join this revolutionary project by donating their money to see this project evolve towards Chris's ultimate and perfect vision.

:reddit: posted:

Personally I think they've been lying to us for years because they knew if they told the truth funding would dry up significantly.

Eldragon posted:

Rebel Galaxy Outlaw is a thing, complete with mocking SC.




Scruffpuff posted:

Flight costume design: 97% complete
Scoping out tall buildings to jump off: 87% complete
Media coverage of flight event: 92% complete
Spandex materials for flight suit: 72% complete
Map of downtown flight area: 87% complete

Incredible progress! Fact remains: Chris can't fly.

Percentage of progress of isolated components means nothing if the overall goal is unachievable. With Chris Roberts in charge, everything is unachievable.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Folks enjoy the community. It's fun to have something to talk about while you dream of a better life. Nobody looks at Cyberpunk and thinks it's the only game they'll play for years, but that's how SC is regarded. It's never about what is, only what will be.

It's a lot like watching a child grow up. Sure she constantly shits herself and screams at a decibel level that violates OSHA regulations, but she just said something that almost sounded like "Da Da" and holy poo poo that's amazing.

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

And I would do anything for funds
I'll code this game to hell, not back
I would do anything for funds
It's a ship sale and I'm a hack
But I'll never complete what I promise right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

Anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds
I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

Some patches it don't boot easy
Some patches the door sticks hard
Some patches it don't work at all, and these are the bugs that never end
Some streams you're at 10 frames
Some streams you're clipping through
Some streams the goons are trolling and will again

I might be a game dev, but it's a scam and that is true
Crytek won't spare me, oh god Derek now here's you

As long as the JPGs are turning
As long as the Spergs are yearning
As long dreams aren't coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for funds
And I'll bail before the final act
I would do anything for funds, sign my ToS and seal the pact
But I'll never forgive myself if I don't get some fidelity
I would do anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back

Some days I pray for framerates
Some days I pray for code
Some days I just pray to the god of scams and cults and Lesnick''s load
Some nights I pen a letter
Some nights I smoke a bowl
Some nights I just lose it all and Sandi makes the heads all roll

Maybe I'm a failure, that's all I've proven to be
That's just not a single, not a single promise I can keep

As long as the JPGs are turning
As long as the Spergs are yearning
As long dreams aren't coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for funds
It's a scam that grew and that's a fact
I would do anything for funds, and there's no way I'll be refunding back
But I'll never launch it, it's alpha through and through
I would do anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back
No, no, no, I won't fun...

I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund back
I would do anything for funds
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't fund...

Derek's Verse
But I'll never stop blogging of you ev'ry night of my life, no way

Chris's Verse
I would do anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds
I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

Derek's Verse
Will you get tech debt? Will it make you drown?
Will you run this game like some godforsaken clown?
Could you get your wife to be a little less cold?

Chris's Verse
I can do that
I can do that

Derek's Verse
Will you craft my dream? Do you need a twitter knight?
Can you insure my ships, I need some LTI!
Can you get your Engine to seem a little less old?

Chris's Verse
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

Derek's Verse
Will you make me some magic with your codewhisper hands?
Will you build a universe rendered to grains of sand?
Can you give me something I might stream at home?

Chris's Verse
I can do that
I can do that

Derek's Verse
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you move my concern post if it gets too hot?
Will you give the Stimperor armor in chrome?

Chris's Verse
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that


Derek's Verse
After six years you'll forget everything
It was a flash of brilliance, a dream just to cling
Even the spergs will start to move on

Chris's Verse
I won't fund back
I won't fund back

Derek's Verse
I'm a failed dev too, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and CiG will fall down
Sooner or later CryTek will come around

Chris's Verse
I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

Anything for funds
Oh, I would do anything for funds
I would do anything for funds, but I won't fund back
No, I won't fund back

kilus aof posted:

In just one day the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay reveal has more views than any Star Citizen video on Youtube. Star Citizen is just not a thing in the gaming community.

G0RF posted:

Twerk is rapidly approaching Heretic territory.

It’s worth watching, and reading the chat, too. It was split down the middle — with dismissals of Cyberpunk and pat excuses on one side, and lamentations of loss and rebukes of wasted time on the other. (It starts slow but gets pretty blunt by 1:20:45.)

I think Twerk has no illusions about miraculous patches. He’s as downbeat as anybody about 3.3 or 3.4 magically turning a tech demo into the BDSSE. He unloaded on CIG earlier in the week about ship purchasing for credits not being on the roadmap while REC rentals in Arena Commander and Star Marine are, despite the fact that nobody plays them because they suck.

Lladre posted:



The funniest bit is that they are wood screws not rivets. They are all unevenly spaced. The panels aren't joined together in plane. The thing is only good for sitting there looking like a bad purchase. You can't even put a flower pot on it without it wobbling.

G0RF posted:

I don’t think there’s any looming catastrophe, personally. Just more of a slow deflation that’s been going on for a year and a half.

The Cyberpunk demo shook some citizens and streamers up. A lot of comparisons were drawn, particularly to Squadron 42’s vertical slice, and doing so falsifies or at least erodes a lot of longstanding tenets of faith in the primacy of SC/SQ42.

The Cyberpunk demo looked more immersive than anything Chris has ever shown, teeming with life and lore and rich in game mechanics. It looked designed around maximizing the sense of player agency and the gaming world went bonkers over a slice for an upcoming console title.

It’s a reminder that time, once very much on Chris’s side for having been early, is now against him. He promised to surpass anything and everything, he was given the time and money to do it, and more and more people sense that now he needs to play catch-up and it’s just going to get harder and harder to do.

The community looks forward to CitizenCon, hoping for more of the hair of the dog that bit them. Hype has given them hangover after hangover — from Star Marine, to 3.0, to Sataball, to Squadron — and they need to endure the headache, nausea and vomiting of a brainsplitting morning after so they can see things clearly, but many just don’t want to. They need one more hit, especially after missing Gamescom this year, and they’re counting on Chris to serve it up again however miserable they always end up feeling after the buzz wears off.

But personally, I think Chris has the team mixing up all kinds of gargleblasters for October. He may not deliver what they need, but I think he’ll give them what they want, and they respond in kind and give him what he want$, too.

Scruffpuff posted:

The fact that Chris isn't a game developer didn't faze him. The fact that he doesn't understand gaming didn't faze him. Getting sued and forcibly removed from two industries didn't faze him. Having every single publisher tell him to go gently caress himself didn't faze him. Zero lessons were learned. He would, with no knowledge and no ability, make an incredibly complex game and beat actual game developers at their own game in every area and in every genre simultaneously. Not because he knew how, or because he had an idea, but because he was Chris Roberts.

The funny thing is, people who saw this coming knew it would fail for the exact same reason he knew it would succeed. Chris Roberts isn't just a Fraud Elemental - he's the Avatar of Failure.

To say Chris is out of his league isn't even wrong. He has no business in the industry at all. He's not getting trounced - he's getting loving dissolved.

The Titanic posted:

I'm still going to stand by my assumption that to CR, the graphics made the game. He very much believed that complex systems just go together like legos, and you can build super complex little chunks of something and they all work perfectly when you put them together.

He never respected the code part of the product. He'd look at something like Uncharted and just take for granted the tremendous level of expertise that went into making that game actually function. He only saw the graphics, and assumed everything else was easy and you can just layer in programming on top of great assets and a game is born.

Unfortunately for me though, what I didn't expect was that a lot of other people also felt this was true too. And now he's a millionaire for being an ignoramus and totally failing to understand what he's doing. And since he's hit it big, he never has to learn.

All the stuff we're bitching about and his followers are bitching about I doubt he cares anymore. This show is a car going down an infinite hill with a brick on the gas and the car is empty.

Nobody will care when the car crashes. Nobody who owns the car will get hurt. The car will just get destroyed. But every inch the car goes it wins like $50,000 just for rolling and not hitting a tree and exploding.

Virtual Captain fucked around with this message at 15:27 on Sep 3, 2018

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:
August Set 10

==CIG sells viewing access to CitizenCon==
CitizenCon is their convention thing, for their "games" that haven't released yet. This is typically the one time a year they bring out the secret build where things generally work they've practiced avoiding all the bugs and preview some gummmed-up quest that lights up the believers imaginations. This is the most important time of the year for backers to indulge in the dream.
Anyways an e-mail to concierge revealed that they ($800-$1000+ spenders) would be getting streamed viewing capabilities for free, while everyone else would have to pay $12? $20? Something like that.


Scruffpuff posted:

More unforced errors from CIG. Taking more money in exchange for nothing, from a company producing nothing, with a history of producing nothing.

No store credit.

Grubby Hobo posted:

:reddit: posted:

Why increase the scope so much that it requires more money?
My irony meter just overloaded.

Tokamak posted:



They are ending the convention with a banger.

Sarsapariller posted:

They're obviously charging money because this, this, is finally the year that they will demo their game. The full game, fully playable. Chris has been working on it all this time in his code shed. Nobody else knows about it. The schedule for the con, all the delays, the bad press- it's all a front. Chris is going to walk on stage and deliver 12 hours of the greatest gaming experience known to man. Afterwards, people will weep that they did not have enough faith to put down 20 loving dollars just because the last, like, 5 of these were as interesting and productive as a wet fart.

Kosumo posted:

You guys know what I would happily pay $20 to see?

Chris Roberts to play Star Citizen again for 2 hours.

Him trying to play his own game is the most telling thing of all.

:reddit: posted:

Looking to pay 1k so that a sweating, middle-aged man in a turtleneck sweater will mumble about space ships to me for no additional charge.

Agony Aunt posted:

Oh man, even the cultists can't downvote this mess away on reddit. Top 5 hot threads are all about the charging to watch the stream. I guess even the mods can't be bothered locking and combining threads.

Kosumo posted:

I watched that Cyberpunk 2077 demo the other day …. should I be paying someone? :confused:

Beet Wagon posted:

Chris: * watches Cyberpunk stream * How many people watched this?

Jared: Like half a million.

Chris * thinking harder than he's ever thought about anything in his life * I have an idea...

A Commando posted:

am absolutely livid about CIG making the live stream pay per view. We loving made these motherfuckers. They would not exist without us. The audacity of them making a loving pay per view presentation drives me absolutely insane. At which point did we become the loving cash cows? I am upset. None of the company would exist without us and yet they treat us as nobodies.

SomethingJones posted:

Citizencon 2018 will be livestreamed. For $20.
Aug 30, 2018




Montoya:
No... you gotta be KIDDING me...

There's no way. There's NO WAY.

No.

CIG... what... the actual...

Ooooohhhh... a RARE video, from MONTOYA... STRONGLY disagreeing with stuff CIG has done.

I will defend your LEGATUS PACK if you're tossing out a TWENTY SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLAR PACK without getting ahead of the story, I will defend you on your stupid DELAYS by saying, 'YEAH, this is the reason why we're DELAYED', but WHAT. IS THIS.

Asking people to pay TWENTY DOLLARS to watch the LIVESTREAM. I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it when I was on DISCORD, I was getting PMs, saying, 'hey check this out they're charging us', I was like, 'you're kidding me', but nah, here it is, it's right here, DIGITAL TICKET.

Where did they possibly get this idea? I was told BLIZZCON does this, BLIZZCON will charge you twenty bucks to watch a livstream but CIG... you are NOT BLIZZCON... you are CROWDFUNDED. You OWE it to your backers.

SolusLunes posted:

I just think it's funny when :20bux: is what broke r/sc's back, when $27,500 of the same couldn't

TheAgent posted:

even dolvak is going after the crobbears now

goddamn I love this fuckin game




==Chris backpedals==

quote:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/3/thread/citizencon-streaming

I don't post often but this is a case where I will break that rule.

Why?

Because there seems to be a lot of vitriol and outrage that is unfairly directed towards Community and Marketing .

If you're upset, you should be upset at me.

Because this was my idea.

Let me give you some context.

This year's CitizenCon is much bigger than last years, with two separate stages and tracks. We did this because we felt the format we tested last year was a success and because of this we wanted to expand it to allow more people to attend and provide more opportunities to hear from and interact with the devs.

With a venue and planned attendance three times the CitizenCon in Frankfurt, with more panels (so more devs needing to travel) , more food and drink options for everyone the proposed budget for this year's CitizenCon was almost double last years. And this was without any video coverage, let alone streaming of the second stage, and a plan to just stream the opening keynote from the main stage.

Yes, you read that right, the original plan didn't have any plan for streaming anything beyond the opening keynote. There was not even video archiving of the second stage due the additional costs of getting a second video crew for that stage. Even then there was some debate as to whether it was truly worth it to spend a chunk of change to stream the opening keynote for 90 minutes when we're always in a foot race to compress it as a high-quality video and post to YouTube as quickly as possible after the demo so people can enjoy a HD Video as opposed to a crappy re-post of a Twitch Stream.

While we get a nice viewership from streaming by far the most views is always through YouTube as the resulting press coverage links to it, whether its via our official channel or in the case we aren't quick enough someone else's re-posting of our stream. In terms of showing off Star Citizen, getting a high quality video up on YouTube is always our top priority. While everyone else is having a celebratory drink or mingling after the show the video team is locked away cleaning up a cut to post online, often staying up to 2am and past to do this. Which is why there was an argument to just let the attendees see it live and everyone else an hour or so later as a nice high-quality video.

Of course, me being me, wanted more.

I felt if we were bothering to put these panels on with all our top developers we should record all of it for the community to see. And if we were recording all of it then couldn't we also stream it all for the community members that were interested? And since we constantly get criticized for our home-brew approach to videography and streaming, let's bring in a specialist company that can handle multiple simultaneous stages, cameras and streams.

Now of course this doesn't help with the budget because what I just asked about adds a low six figure amount to the cost of the event. We really try to spend the money we raise on game development not community content or events. For that we use our subscriptions and try to defray the costs with sponsors like Intel last year.

Since we originally announced CitizenCon for this year in Austin there's been multiple threads about digital passes for those that can't make it to Austin midweek, I thought let's take a leaf out of Blizzard's book and have a digital pass to allow people to virtually be there for all the presentations and the money for these passes would help offset the not inconsiderable increase in costs that I was asking for because I wanted to do it better for all of you. It was a gamble because we're committing to the increased costs without knowing how many people would take us up on it but I decided we would take the gamble this year and if it doesn't pan out we'll write it up to experience and not be as ambitious in our video and live stream goals next year.

Because we do use subscription revenue for Community Content and Events we felt that subscribers should get the streaming perk for free as it is their contribution that pays for our video shows as well as other forms of community content and engagement. Also, because concierge level backers have contributed far more than anyone could expect to help us build the crazy dream that is Star Citizen I felt they should also be included (not unlike we early PTU access as a perk)

The plan is to record all presentations at a high quality, edit and post them to YouTube as we go, with the Keynote being up as soon as possible after it finished, and the other panels going out over the following days (you got to give the video team some time; we're talking 10 hours of finished content!)

Nothing was ever planned to be pay-walled or withheld form the community, and honestly I like the idea of most people seeing the presentations in their own time as a high quality video rather than a stream of potentially questionable quality. The live-stream aspect was always intended for the most ardent community members that want to see it live as it unfolds but can't make it to the event to be there in person.

We're not likely to cover the costs of the additional coverage and live-streaming but I felt we should be fiscally responsible and try to defray at least some of additional costs, which is how the current plan came to be.

We debated back and forth about whether we want to stream the keynote and closing for everyone, and have the rest require a streaming pass or require a streaming pass for all. We ended up coming down on the side of the pass for all, mostly for our ability to deliver a high quality video to everyone in short order and control the message and coordinate any press from the opening or closing. If we can give game sites a link to a video and guarantee that they will all get it at the same time we don't have to worry about different sites all trying to preempt each other, some linking to our stream, some linking to someone's YouTube re-post.

What we didn't anticipate is how dearly some of you value watching the main CitizenCon presentation live.

I get that some of you may not be considering these nuances when you're whipping out your pitchforks, which is why I thought it would help to detail our thought process and decision process. We're always trying to give you more, at a better quality, sometimes that requires us to charge for things that we haven't in the past.

But I get that some of you could feel that you've lost something that you've had previously, and you are not a true Star Citizen fan unless you've sat through an awkward live-stream with crashes and technical glitches, so we will have the opening keynote and my closing available for everyone that has a Star Citizen account, no digital pass required, with the other sessions requiring a digital pass to see live (and remember you'll be able to see these at your leisure, no restrictions a few days later)

I just don't want to see threads about how we shouldn't live-stream and just post a polished video afterwards (because that has never happened! /s)

Peace,

-Chris

quote:

UPDATE:

After sleeping on this, I am going to chalk this one up to experience.

We're going to cut back on the live-streaming crew / costs but have both stages streamed for anyone with a Star Citizen user account.

Star Citizen Content Creators are welcome to rebroadcast our stream live.

If you would like to support the additional costs of streaming all the presentations, you can support the show by purchasing the CitizenCon digital goodies package (Imperators still get this as their October flair)

Beet Wagon posted:

borrowing one of my favorite TRUMP tweets here:

Well, I'd like to see ol Chris Roberts wriggle his way out of THIS jam!
*Roberts wriggles his way out of the jam easily*
Ah! Well. Nevertheless

quote:

In terms of showing off Star Citizen, getting a high quality video up on YouTube is always our top priority.

Sillybones posted:

Imagine throwing a big ticket convention every year for a game that is not even in alpha using money people gave to make the game.

monkeytek posted:

The levels of stupidity are mind boggling:

1. Blizzard has multiple mature games with huge fan followings
2. Blizzard is not crowd funded
3. Blizzcon sells out in less than 5 minutes, they had 100,000's of people begging for a digital option, its why they offer it
4. Blizzcon rents out the entire loving Anaheim convention complex including additional remote sites.
5. Blizzcon pays for and staffs their own 911 system, ya you heard that right they hire and pay 911 operators to staff their event driven 911 system.
6. Blizzcon pays for police, fire and various support personnel throughout the entire event.
7. Blizzcon has multiple pro-am game sport events
8. Blizzcon offers five contests with gifts of actual value
9. Blizzard brings in effectively the data networking power of an ISP
10. Blizzard has true professional broadcasting services throughout the entirety of the convention
11. Blizzard has a charity offering


1. CIG is struggling to fill a 2000 seat auditorium
2. CIG can't afford a date on the weekend
3. CIG has prosumer broadcasting services if even that.
4. CIG has Roberts
5. CIG will half rear end most of their presentations
6. CIG will re-hash old poo poo with a new spin
7. CIG will promise great things coming "soon"
8. CIG will have a jpeg offering introduced at the end of the show

Scruffpuff posted:

Also consider that Blizzcon sells out thousands of tickets in minutes. At the end of it all, they've sold over 10,000 tickets. Generally they sell them in two batches, and that's it. Due to recent high demand, they decided to offer what they called a third wave of tickets because the demand was higher than it had ever been before.

Consider how many seats they're trying to sell for Citizencon and attempt to justify selling them in "waves." And which "wave" are they tweeting about? Ah - the third wave of sales, the exact same wave number that Blizzard used when they were responding to unprecedented demand and interest!

What a coincidence!

:reddit: posted:

An Apology To Chris

I just wanted to say to Chris I am sorry the internet and some backers reacted the way they did to this event.

I wasn't one of them (this time), and I supported the original idea to up the game at CitizenCon.






:chloe: Disco Lando is a sexting weirdo or something :chloe:

Virtual Captain fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Sep 3, 2018

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:
September Set 1

Scruffpuff posted:

2013 - Cool early tech demo trailer
2014 - Cool early FPS demo trailer
2015 - Nearly jaw-dropping asteroid base flight tutorial
Late 2015 - Early 2016 - Release of the absurd PTU and the destruction of all hope for this project
2016 - Patch by patch destruction of everything this project ever promised to be
2017 - :lol:
2018 - :laffo:

Golli posted:

2019 - we're gonna need a bigger smilie

:reddit: posted:

Have fun letting CIG treat you like nothing but their personal credit card.

==CIG is accepting applications for player Guilds/"Orgs" to setup booths at CitizenCon==

Mr Fronts posted:

Can we register an SC org called "Crytek Skadden" and apply for a booth?

ZekeNY posted:

Register under "SC Fan Club", and only when you get there reveal the sign that says "Skadden Crytek Fan Club"


:reddit: posted:

I've been a backer for a while now and I've been trying to get my friend to pledge for a Herald since I think he'd like one. But my friend finally pointed out something disturbing that I hadn't considered before. I was talking about the latest paywall drama, and he was like, "Dude, I can't even get through the first paywall to see the other paywalls. It's Paywallception." And I realized that he was right-- It's impossible to even pledge for Star Citizen without facing a paywall.

:reddit: posted:

when the game comes out next spring

:reddit: posted:

Let's ask ourselves a simple question: Does SC feel like a $192M game?

Virtual Captain posted:

https://youtu.be/FtoivkCH2O4?t=5447

Erris: "So I'm really glad that Star Citizen didn't just come out because I have no interest in the actual Star Citizen game."


Thought he was being satirical but I watched it a few times and he's dead serious, lol

AbstractNapper posted:

Noone that currently makes money off Star Citizen is interested in the game, :lol:
This thing releases, and it'll go up in flames within days; none of these people will be even remotely relevant within a week's time from that.

:reddit: posted:

I believe the main reason why SC won't have the same outcome as NMS, is that SC will not release at all


G0RF posted:

MASSIVELYOP Podcast: CIG isn’t Blizzard (46:16)

Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and friends discuss Chris Roberts latest unforced error, changes in their PR contact, and the dissimilarities between Blizzard and CIG.

G0RF posted:

SOUNDCLOUD: Gamer Tuesday discusses Paywallgate (6:52)

“It keeps getting worse, and worse, and worse...”


Foo Diddley posted:

CIG's next magic buzzword that will fix the networking will be called... *pulls scraps of paper out of a hat* Predictive Data Stream Balancing

Scruffpuff posted:

quote:

Con artists can get away with what they do because they're smart enough to establish a convincing context. If some fraud opens up a doctor's office near you, and they dress the office up to look right, and they wear a labcoat and have all the right equipment in their office, you're going to be that they're a doctor. Who would ever go to all that work and not be a doctor? Similarly, when someone raises millions of dollars from eager supporters, opens up a bunch of offices and hires top-notch programmers, then starts shilling in-game bric-a-brac for several hundred dollars, why wouldn't you believe an amazing game was already heavy into development? Who would actually sell in-game items for a game they had no idea how to make? Well...someone did.

Perfect. This is the center square on the Bingo card, as well as also being all the other squares. People say "it isn't fraud to try and fail" but what if you're not qualified to begin with? Is it OK to say you're a doctor if you're not? Is it OK to say you're an architect when you're not? How about a pilot? At what point does the delusion about your own abilities and identity spill over into fraud? As opposed to being delusional? Does being delusional absolve you of the crime?

It's the reason I've hinted at people to dig deeper into the history of Chris Roberts, "Game Developer," to find out what his actual contributions were to the projects he's still riding the coattails of. You'd be surprised how little he worked on "his" titles. Success came despite him, not because of him.


TheAgent posted:

beloved hardcore "those blizzard guys who are no longer constrained by blizzard and will now make the mmo of your dreams, cupcake" mmo Wildstar is now loving dead

https://kotaku.com/wildstar-developer-carbine-studios-shuts-down-1828862729

if you fancy a read, go back in time to some old wow/wildstar threads where people sunk thousands of dollars into that poo poo claiming "I'M HAVING FUN FUN IS WHAT I AM HAVING AND HOW CAN YOU PUT A PRICE ON THAT AND ITS NOT A BAD GAME PLEASE WE NEED MORE PEOPLE TO SIGN UP FOR 6 1/2 HOUR RAIDS"

much like SoTA, it's going to be what star citizen becomes

oh and you can already see people blaming the dark, evil publishers for not making wildstar's true vision come to pass

these loving people never learn.


Colostomy Bag posted:

Here's a new mission giver. I'm impressed, actually has the Roberts "duh" look.



And a new knife.


peter gabriel posted:

"HELLO I'D LIKE YOU TO GET A BOX FOR ME OFF A GREY MOON PLZ"

Scruffpuff posted:

Every time - every loving time - I see a screenshot that CIG triumphantly reveals to the public, I think "OK, this is all an elaborate prank. This is obviously intended to be the screenshot that tells everyone this was all just a joke."

And it never is. It's never the joke, despite being a joke. Nothing CIG makes looks like a game, or seems like anything is coming together. Everything CIG submits looks like a collection of midterm exams for an art college's first-year CGI students "This semester's theme: bad sci-fi." There's no unifying theme, it's all generic as gently caress, assuming it's not outright stolen.

Every mental disorder in the book is on full display here simultaneously. It's funny, sad, and infuriating all at once. There's got to be a German word for that.


TheAgent posted:

TWTITCH: RTV on OCS is Live

Lando is signalling that 3.3 will be delayed and also break the entire game

people ain't gonna be happy about that



Drunk Theory posted:

https://twitter.com/spenley/status/1038318505618284544

But how do you sell art assets by developing in this silly fashion? Once again Chris teaching the old dinosaur publishers the new way to do things.

space uncle posted:

Every time I try to grasp the sheer scope and timeline of this loving nonexistent game it’s like doing archaeology into my own past. I remember idly browsing this thread and Kickstarter in college and thinking “oh cool space game, too bad I don’t have money to back this”. Then I remember graduating and thinking “hey I actually have money now, let’s check in on this”. The thread had mutated wildly and bafflingly since I left - every ship had received a painstakingly rendered pixel art cute little graphic next to a shocking price tag.

The dollar figures didn’t make sense to me. Is that real dollars? I have to pay real used car money to get a fake ship?

I changed jobs, got a graduate degree, got married, kept checking on Star Citizen. I was finally rewarded by the turn - when goon FUD started and the ridiculous 8-Bit $10,000 catalog disappeared.

I moved states, changed jobs again. I bought a house. I got old and put 400 hours into Elite Dangerous and got bored of space games. I boxed up and unboxed my HOTAS a half dozen times. All while watching this absurd spectacle play out. I backed other kickstarters and played the games and bought more board games and their sequels.

The past scares me because I see the future: children, grandchildren, retirement, cancer, the sweet release of death. And throughout it all - Star Citizen. As SC passes the $100 trillion threshold in 2067 (hyperinflation hits the US hard after it switches back to fiat currency in the 50s) Chris Roberts is wheeled on to the stage. He delivers a virtual address to his remaining fans in their retirement homes and graves. He sucks at his oxygen cannula and promises that OCS will come soon. I laugh, and shitpost, and finally I die.

TheAgent posted:

for a second I clipped through central park in spiderman and the immersion was ruined

"I'm...not Spider-Man?"

I sat there, breathless. was I simply playing a video game in front of a tv?

"But MJ...and Aunt May. The city, the Demons...are they simply constructs created for my amusement? Years of labor by hundreds of people poured into crafting an elaborate but flawed facsimile to my Spider-Life?"

is the air I breathe even real? is this all some digital trap designed to replicate something called "fun" (that really can't be described)

"I'm Peter. I. Am. Peter Parker. I am Spider-Man."

I repeat that to myself, but it feels hollow. feelings unknown gnaw at me, conjure images that should not be thought. there has to be something, something I can do

"I can give Insomniac more money. They can fix this."

I quickly pull up the store page to pledge another $5, $50, $500, $5,000 anything, anything to be Spider-Man again

"No. No. Nooooooooooooooooo," I scream. there's no way to purchase anything but the game and it won't let me again. I have all the DLC; I have everything. All for $80. I can't give them more money to make this feeling go away

I sit there in my Spider-Man tracksuit with my Spider-Man mug of vodka and pink lemonade and I cry and cry and nothing stops me

not until I start to rub

G0RF posted:

Rapturous receptions to the one hour Rebel Galaxy Outlaw demo has been popping up all over the place. There have been other competitive entires to SC/SQ42 out there over the years (Infinite Warfare probably being the most noteworthy) but nothing has ever hit so close to Chris’s ancestral home.

It’s surreal that Outlaw is such a loving homage to Wing Commander: Privateer, even while Double Damage pulls no punches in their rebukes of CIG’s (really Chris Roberts) business practices. It’s been 6 years for Chris. I have to believe the Devs at DD were eagerly excited about Star Citizen and Squadron back in 2012 just like the rest of us space game nerds were. Now, with less time and far less money, they’re nearing completion on a $30 title that reminds people what they loved about earlier Chris Roberts games, and what Chris forgot about them.

I hope they make a fortune with it. It’s harder when it’s earned $30 a time, but a lot sweeter, too. And I hope they’ve got longer term plans for the franchise because man, I’d love to see this get even bigger and bolder in the years to come.

ROCKPAPERSHOTGUN: An hour of Rebel Galaxy Outlaw's crime, grime and old-school space combat


https://twitter.com/RebelGalaxy/status/1037792195170861056
https://twitter.com/whoisJoshBossie/status/1037910919597121537
:lol::lol::lol:

Bait and Swatch
Sep 5, 2012

Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread
Wow. I stopped watching the SC threads a few years back because I had to focus on school. So much seems to have happened since then, yet nothing has changed. I’m impressed yet not surprised that CR has been able to string people along for this amount of time.

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016

Bait and Swatch posted:

Wow. I stopped watching the SC threads a few years back because I had to focus on school. So much seems to have happened since then, yet nothing has changed. I’m impressed yet not surprised that CR has been able to string people along for this amount of time.

Tane

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Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:

The Titanic posted:

*Star Citizen is officially released*

"Wh-what are you doing, Morty!?"

"I-I don't know Rick, what just happened?"

"You ju-just released Star Citizen, Morty! You released it!"

"Oh god! Oh geeze! What's that mean? I didn't mean to!"

"Well, Morty, it means you just killed Chris Roberts."

"Oh god no!"

"And his family too, Morty. Look at these little guys you killed. Look at these IMDb pages, Morty!"

"O-oh god Rick I didn't mean it! I'm just a kid Rick! Are they gonna arrest me?"

"No, no Morty. They w-won't arrest you. They might kill you though. Not right away at least. First this guy in black and a rifle is going to come for you."

*Morty falls to his knees, holding his head*

"Yeah Morty. Ju-just loving wait because I saw what these guys do. Look at these loving YouTube comments, Morty. Look how loving insane these motherfuckers are."

"Oh god, Rick! And that guy, he-he..."

"Yuh.. yuh he did. And they didn't even care. Man, once they get your juicy rear end. Morty... we-we can't let that happen!"

"What am I gonna do Rick! I-I don't even know what a Star Citizen is!"

"We-we're gonna change history, Morty! We're going to another dimension! One where Star Citizen never released accidentally!"

"Rick we already did that once and I buried my dead corpse! That's sick, Rick! This is a bad idea!"

"It's the only way, Morty. It's the only way! Come on! I hear those angry hordes at the- the door already!"

"I don't hear anything, Rick."

"It's cause-because... gently caress it Morty just jump in here! Hurry we got to go! Look at these IMDb pages!"

"Oh oh god Rick I'm going!"

"Th-that's good, Morty. loving.. Star Citizen death squad almost here."

*new dimension with unreleased Star Citizen, scene 2, act 4*

"Well, Morty, th-that was a close a call. A real close call. Looks like we're two weeks from release now."

"Oh my god, Rick. I-I what's going to happen now! W-we can't let it release?"

"There's only one thing we have to do now. We got to find these, loving programmers, and break their wrists."

"What!??!"

"It's the only way, Morty! Grab that hammer! Come on, d-do it! loving pick it up now! We've got some wrists to break!"

"Oh god, Rick this is horrible! I loving hate you!"

"You'll get over it, Morty. Once you're not anally raped by fat neckbearded mongrels. You'll th-th-thank me for this, Morty."

"N-no. I hate you, Rick!"

"Well, if you hate this, what do you think about the teenage mutant ninja turtles, Hello Kitty, Dune, Douglas Adams corpse, and a handful of poo poo from Alien and your loving Halo game? B-because after we break some wrists we've got a f-few other things we have to do too!"

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