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BeanpolePeckerwood
May 4, 2004

I MAY LOOK LIKE SHIT BUT IM ALSO DUMB AS FUCK



!Klams posted:

I think Skyrim and The Witcher and basically anything where you'd expect a dragon to show up are loving boring trash. Yeah, "Lord of the rings", more like "BORED of loving everything about this played out shitshow". High fantasy is so loving DONE. Like, you can have loving ANYTHING, ANYTHING can happen, because its fictional and there is magic.

A new game comes out that's got magic in it. Is there a magic spell that folds reality on itself in such a way that it exposes the Eel-Ghost dimension, and the ghosts of eels take flight from it finding home in peoples limbs, giving the victim an intense thirst for ocean water, and when they draw near to the shore, the limb severs itself, leaps into the waters and swims off to grow into a gravity-absorbing blanket of fleshmass that writhes along the ocean floor, creating hard to navigate waters where the ships bob strangely like braying horses? No, is there gently caress as like, there's fireball, invisibility, and enchant sword. And of course it's a loving sword, because lord knows anything like 'having your fist encased in a cube of iron decorated with a different rune on each face that you clobber people with' is just too loving much, no just swords again for me please.

Who are these people? Well, they're short, so obviously to a one they're all gruff Scottish blacksmiths with a short temper who don't have an affinity for magic and live in a mine. You know, like us humans, who are to the very last 'middling stats, jack of all trades master of none'. OH WOW I'M SO HYPE FOR THIS NEW AND EXCITING WORLD. Christ.

Just one time, could the dungeon end with a loving freshly killed giant pig, it's body all bleeding from various orifices as its flesh writhes and wriggles as the rat-skeletons who operate it from within like a big meat puppet drive it to attack you, occasionally jumping or falling out, and trying to bludgeon you themselves? Or you come to the end of a dungeon and there's just a stream, but you go to drink from it and it starts moving about through the ground, trying to encircle you, sometimes whipping up out of the ground at you like a snake, until eventually you damage it enough and it takes flight, leaving a trail of water through the air that freezes and falls, and this ice is the only thing in the world that can turn ANYTHING Hungarian. No, it has to end with a dragon, and dragons are clever and like gold and are loving dull and have lots of hitpoints and armor despite just looking like a lizard, but its dragonscale, which is rare and makes for good armor. gently caress I hate dragons.

High Fantasy is dogshit. Bloodsouls is the proper response to 5+ decades of dogshit.

jimmyjams posted:

planescape torment did this

also imo all "high fantasy" games are basically just ripping off D&D thats why theyre all the same

no actually AD&D also sucks dogdick

Twelve Batmans posted:

BoFIV is one of the best JRPG's. Beautiful spritework, amazing music, and a battle system so good that FFX ripped it off and made it suck. But yes your synopsis is pretty accurate in that Dragon is just a name for an other-worldly being that is a force of nature unto itself. Even the base dragon form is extremely unique in having dragon-fly wings and a slender, bug-like form. The world dragons are loving amazing in their design too.

BoF IV is so so great, I don't know why they had to shoehorn in lovely 3D dragon models and nearly gently caress up the whole thing. BoF III had a much more cohesive art style but I like BoF IV the most.

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QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Shibawanko posted:

Has anyone posted this yet


I kind of feel like there's way more of these guys out there that weren't included.

No, no one posted that face blindness test

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
BoF: Dragon Quarter is basically the best game for the ps2. It may just be the best jrpg.

Realize that's not saying much but I mean it as a compliment to the game.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

QuarkJets posted:

Nah, Prey exists and beats it easily

I love everything Arkane Studios makes and Prey is amazing but there's no way it's beating Witcher 3.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Shibawanko posted:

Has anyone posted this yet


I kind of feel like there's way more of these guys out there that weren't included.

I have never seen similar looking people in my life ever.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting

Shibawanko posted:

Has anyone posted this yet


I kind of feel like there's way more of these guys out there that weren't included.



Walking forward super determined with a hand at your waist, usually holding a weapon, the best of poses

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

signalnoise posted:



Walking forward super determined with a hand at your waist, usually holding a weapon, the best of poses

Yeah, what's super lovely about this, is that the designer would have offered a ton of different ideas, and the head honchos decided on this one, every time. Like there's undoubtedly so much actual good poo poo out there on the cutting room floor.

I feel like of these the little L shape of Dark Souls, Prey and Battlefield are the most forgivable. Prey is actually conveying something other than "I'm such a badass, I'm here to get poo poo DONE" and actually the slender frame and glowing face has a kind of 'sinister purpose' to it, which befits the game. Battlefield is about soldiers, and that "I ain't happy to be here but I'm gonna get this poo poo done" vibe is actually what soldiers are about. The style actually suggests the setting and gameplay better than another take would. Likewise Darksouls is pretty much exclusively about going "gently caress it, I'm likely gonna die, but I'm going in", and the art is of the dude going forward, ploughing on with gritty resolve. The rest of them are just shorthand for "This guy is awesome, enjoy the power fantasy".

!Klams fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Sep 7, 2018

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
The Genesis / Mega Drive had some good RPGs that get totally overlooked because of the SNES.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting

!Klams posted:

Yeah, what's super lovely about this, is that the designer would have offered a ton of different ideas, and the head honchos decided on this one, every time. Like there's undoubtedly so much actual good poo poo out there on the cutting room floor.

I feel like of these the little L shape of Dark Souls, Prey and Battlefield are the most forgivable. Prey is actually conveying something other than "I'm such a badass, I'm here to get poo poo DONE" and actually the slender frame and glowing face has a kind of 'sinister purpose' to it, which befits the game. Battlefield is about soldiers, and that "I ain't happy to be here but I'm gonna get this poo poo done" vibe is actually what soldiers are about. The style actually suggests the setting and gameplay better than another take would. Likewise Darksouls is pretty much exclusively about going "gently caress it, I'm likely gonna die, but I'm going in", and the art is of the dude going forward, ploughing on with gritty resolve. The rest of them are just shorthand for "This guy is awesome, enjoy the power fantasy".

My favorite comparison is Deus Ex to Assassin's Creed. At this point it's not just similar poses, it's the exact same posture.

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

signalnoise posted:

My favorite comparison is Deus Ex to Assassin's Creed. At this point it's not just similar poses, it's the exact same posture.

Lol, for a while I was looking at the two, and was like, "yeah, I mean in the one his head is sorta looking down and it's slightly later in the stride, but God that is actually the same picture" and then I realised for some reason I was comparing asscreed and Devil May Cry.

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



the big threat in witcher 3 is climate change, and you are helpless to stop it because you're not god of everything like in p.much every single other rpg, which is quite nice

2house2fly
Nov 14, 2012

You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!
Except when it does get stopped, and at the very least you helped

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Geralt using the power of being an okay-ish dad to save the world.

fridge corn
Apr 2, 2003

NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN :black101:
witcher 3 is GOAT because you get to get insanely high and go on a mystery misadventure with your talking horse

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



2house2fly posted:

Except when it does get stopped, and at the very least you helped

Ciri stops it regardless of what you do. Geralt is a small cog in a whole shitload of things that happens.

I mean, it's not the pinnacle of storytelling or anything but I do like the fact that it's an RPG where you aren't basically The Chosen One, the only person that does literally anything, like in every single Bioware and Bethesda game

fridge corn posted:

witcher 3 is GOAT because you get to get insanely high and go on a mystery misadventure with your talking horse

also get drunk with your bros and prank call stuffy wizards while wearing your girlfriend's clothes

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Quote-Unquote posted:

Ciri stops it regardless of what you do. Geralt is a small cog in a whole shitload of things that happens.

Not at all. If you're a terrible dad then she fails to save the world, and then you also die later on, afaik.

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



Jack Trades posted:

Not at all. If you're a terrible dad then she fails to save the world, and then you also die later on, afaik.

I thought that was kinda ambiguous? She seems to stop climate change but either dies doing so or fucks off to another dimension.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Quote-Unquote posted:

I thought that was kinda ambiguous? She seems to stop climate change but either dies doing so or fucks off to another dimension.

It was quite a while ago that I've seen that but from what I remember the impression I got that she dies, but maybe I remember that wrong.

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

I'm not going to say that the CD-I was good or anything ridiculous like that but I seriously enjoyed Hotel Mario back in the day and I was impressed with the Zelda games just for how colorful the graphics were, the animation style didn't bother me since it's actually a typical early 90's Dutch style of animation (the games were made by Philips), also seen in this popular creepy cartoon of the time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o6MIJ7Iq1U

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Hotel Mario goes pretty well with the Mario cartoons.

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Hotel Mario goes pretty well with the Mario cartoons.

Yeah exactly, in my head Mario is still the guy who played him on the live action segments on the show and he became a cartoon when he went into the mushroom kingdom. Hotel Mario is an unaired episode of the show.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Quote-Unquote posted:

Ciri stops it regardless of what you do. Geralt is a small cog in a whole shitload of things that happens.

I mean, it's not the pinnacle of storytelling or anything but I do like the fact that it's an RPG where you aren't basically The Chosen One, the only person that does literally anything, like in every single Bioware and Bethesda game

Geralt is pretty essential to the sequence of events leading to Ciri doing the thing, so not Chosen One but not just a small cog, either. And whether or not Ciri dies and what she does afterward is 100% dependent on what Geralt does

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat
Things in a game... depending on the actions... of the player?

Lunchabully
Jul 20, 2003
Pillbug

Jack Trades posted:

I love everything Arkane Studios makes and Prey is amazing but there's no way it's beating Witcher 3.

Yeah. Other people have mentioned the lack of enemy variety and the backtracking as problems but my major beef with it is the hacking minigame. It feels like something an intern whipped together in an afternoon in GameMaker Studio. It controls like dogshit with a keyboard, the difficulty doesn't scale properly (Level 2 hacking is more challenging than 3 or 4), and the bleep blorp aesthetics are completely at odds with the tone and art style of the rest of the game. Not to mention the fact that it magically freezes time, defusing all tension, which is kind of a problem in a horror game. It was terrible enough that I deliberately avoided hacking on my second playthrough just so I'd never have to see it again.

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame? Just make it a loving skill check, play a quick animation, done. I didn't sit through your unskippable logos and loading screens to play sudoku or whatever.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

steinrokkan posted:

Things in a game... depending on the actions... of the player?

Yes, that's basically the topic. Do you want to add something?

Vakal
May 11, 2008

Lazyhound posted:

The Genesis / Mega Drive had some good RPGs that get totally overlooked because of the SNES.

The Genesis version of Shadowrun is one of my favorite games of all time.

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong

Lunchabully posted:

Yeah. Other people have mentioned the lack of enemy variety and the backtracking as problems but my major beef with it is the hacking minigame. It feels like something an intern whipped together in an afternoon in GameMaker Studio. It controls like dogshit with a keyboard, the difficulty doesn't scale properly (Level 2 hacking is more challenging than 3 or 4), and the bleep blorp aesthetics are completely at odds with the tone and art style of the rest of the game. Not to mention the fact that it magically freezes time, defusing all tension, which is kind of a problem in a horror game. It was terrible enough that I deliberately avoided hacking on my second playthrough just so I'd never have to see it again.

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame? Just make it a loving skill check, play a quick animation, done. I didn't sit through your unskippable logos and loading screens to play sudoku or whatever.

when u go to pick a lock. it should load up ultima 4 and you have to win to unlock it

sgbyou
Feb 3, 2005

I'm just a shadow in the light you leave behind.

jimmyjams posted:

when u go to pick a lock. it should load up ultima 4 and you have to win to unlock it

:yeah:

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Lunchabully posted:

Yeah. Other people have mentioned the lack of enemy variety and the backtracking as problems but my major beef with it is the hacking minigame. It feels like something an intern whipped together in an afternoon in GameMaker Studio. It controls like dogshit with a keyboard, the difficulty doesn't scale properly (Level 2 hacking is more challenging than 3 or 4), and the bleep blorp aesthetics are completely at odds with the tone and art style of the rest of the game. Not to mention the fact that it magically freezes time, defusing all tension, which is kind of a problem in a horror game. It was terrible enough that I deliberately avoided hacking on my second playthrough just so I'd never have to see it again.

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame? Just make it a loving skill check, play a quick animation, done. I didn't sit through your unskippable logos and loading screens to play sudoku or whatever.

Fallout 3 nailed lockpicking. The hacking was good too.

I actually like most mini games though, even planet scanning in me2 so my brain might be a bit broken idk

jimmyjams posted:

when u go to pick a lock. it should load up ultima 4 and you have to win to unlock it

gently caress yeah

Lunchabully
Jul 20, 2003
Pillbug

jimmyjams posted:

when u go to pick a lock. it should load up ultima 4 and you have to win to unlock it

I stand corrected

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

sebmojo posted:

Fallout 3 nailed lockpicking. The hacking was good too.

I actually like most mini games though, even planet scanning in me2 so my brain might be a bit broken idk


I totally agree, Fallout 3's stuff was simple enough that it didn't feel obtrusive and was actually fun. I especially liked finding the 'secret' bits in the hacking, not that it was hard at all, it just felt oddly satisfying.

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

Lunchabully posted:

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame?

Nier Automata

sgbyou
Feb 3, 2005

I'm just a shadow in the light you leave behind.

is pepsi ok posted:

Nier Automata

The hacking or whatever in automata was poo poo.

Twelve Batmans
Dec 24, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

sgbyou posted:

The hacking or whatever in automata was poo poo.

Counterpoint:You can remove your own brain to end a run.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting

Lunchabully posted:

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame? Just make it a loving skill check, play a quick animation, done. I didn't sit through your unskippable logos and loading screens to play sudoku or whatever.

Dying Light's lockpicking minigame is pretty harmless, and it doesn't pause the game when you do it, so it creates a little tension sometimes

DebonaireD
May 7, 2007

Lunchabully posted:

Seriously has any game actually benefited from having a hacking / lockpicking / repair / whatever minigame? Just make it a loving skill check, play a quick animation, done. I didn't sit through your unskippable logos and loading screens to play sudoku or whatever.

The hacking in system shock 2 was good because it didn't pause the outside world. Working on a computer and then you hear a creepy sound coming closer somewhere off screen was effective, like everything else in that game.

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad
Sunless Sea is too hard. Not because it's slow, or random, or roguelike, all of that stuff I get on with. What killed it for me, was finally getting 2000 echoes together for a new boat, and I get it, and it's a pile of poo poo trap. Like all the engine upgrades. I think it's one thing to have difficult decisions, but entirely another to JUST punish you to the tune of what amounts to about 8 hours of gameplay for trying out a better ship?

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

Hollow Knight is cool but is just too much of a pain in the rear end. I don't know why they thought it would benefit from some stupid dark souls style loooong corpse run system, it makes the game monotonous as hell and its already a metroidvania where you are backtracking all the time anyway.

Lunchabully
Jul 20, 2003
Pillbug

DebonaireD posted:

The hacking in system shock 2 was good because it didn't pause the outside world. Working on a computer and then you hear a creepy sound coming closer somewhere off screen was effective, like everything else in that game.

While I mostly agree with you, the not-pausing part is its saving grace. The minigame itself has no skill involved, it's just clicking dots and hoping the RNG makes them light up. You can pay to reset the board but that essentially just turns it into a roulette wheel, except more tedious. At least that's how I remember it, it's been years.

On that subject I wish more games had System Shock 2's "you have to do everything in real time" philosophy. Or at least more immersive / horror games. Nothing like checking your map or settling in to read a bit of lore and suddenly the door next to your hiding place flies open and here comes a cyborg woman with no face howling for your blood

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sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Lunchabully posted:

While I mostly agree with you, the not-pausing part is its saving grace. The minigame itself has no skill involved, it's just clicking dots and hoping the RNG makes them light up. You can pay to reset the board but that essentially just turns it into a roulette wheel, except more tedious. At least that's how I remember it, it's been years.

On that subject I wish more games had System Shock 2's "you have to do everything in real time" philosophy. Or at least more immersive / horror games. Nothing like checking your map or settling in to read a bit of lore and suddenly the door next to your hiding place flies open and here comes a cyborg woman with no face howling for your blood

YOU WON'T HURT MY BAAABIIIIEEESS

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