quote:

So my fiancé and I have been together for almost 2 years, almost 20 years apart, and to each other are “the one” are very much in love and everyone can see how different we are together.

Now before the relationship I came in as a very loyal, always thinking about how the other person would feel type of person, and he was a giant player/playboy who didn’t see the point in changing since he hadn’t met anyone worthwhile. He was the typical bad boy drugs tons of women always drinking or partying but since I came into his life he’s found more meaningful things to do with me and he treats me like a princess mostly. We are expecting our first child and he has taken on the role of future dad/husband quite well always thinking ahead to what we might need or planning out our goals. Definitely a more grown up stance to the person he used to be. But as expected people are who they are and he is naturally a very sexual person and this is where things get tricky.

He tells me that I am his dream girl and this is true, I am 100% his type based on the kinds of girls I see he finds attractive and we are more than sexually compatible (maybe I’m a little more horny since I’m younger). However he is also the guy to watch porn everyday, have a wandering eye, go to strip clubs with his friends, and meaninglessly flirt with other women. Not in a disrespectful way like try to pick them up but make them laugh or politely compliment them. (Like with cashiers casually calling them love or babe, telling them their shoes are nice, he likes their hair, etc). If a girl adds him on social media and messages him he will talk to her, because he is a social person as well, will make it clear he’s engaged but doesn’t find any topic off limits like they could start talking about sex and that doesn’t phase him. (Not dirty talk just generally).

Anyways I know that he hasn’t done anything wrong but maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, maybe it’s he fact that we’re getting married, but some of these things are starting to bug me. I watch porn too so I understand that aspect but what I don’t get is staring at women in real life or wanting to be around naked strippers. He doesn’t think anything is wrong with it as long as he doesn’t touch or talk to them but... you have a willing fiancé at home whose body you claim to love so what’s the point? I don’t really have an interest in how other guys look because I have a guy I love at home.

We’ve had fights in the past before about him making jokes concerning other girls in the beginning of the relationship and he said he would stop because he didn’t want to lose me and the jokes have lessened but not stopped completes...but added now the staring, the strippers, etc. it just makes me feel like he doesn’t care about my feelings and basically lied to me before. Because he KNOWS how it makes me upset yet does it anyways. Also seems like he’s not satisfied with my body or he wants something else. I’m heavily pregnant so my emotions are out of whack at this point and I need to know if my hormones are getting the better of me and this is normal behavior for guys or if this is something worth getting upset about.

TL;DR - fiancé continuously jokes about and looks at other women and it makes me feel weir

Haifisch posted:

I'm afraid that my husband [23/m] is choosing anime girls over me [23/f]

cumshitter posted:

Imagine the awkward child teacher conferences they're going to have.

"I just want to say I think it's great that your father has stepped in be a father figure for your child.

Oh.

Oh god."

Adar posted:

married at 21, gaining weight and losing sex drive at 23, slaps husband for masturbating

I'm not saying the weeaboo is any better, buuuuuuut

Haifisch posted:

I'm afraid that my husband [23/m] is choosing anime girls over me [23/f]

Say Nothing posted:

Fatkraken posted:

eh, it's almost certainly a troll/bait post, far too on the nose (the vague but obvious descriptions of characters, the incredulous tone and exclamation points and the comment about slapping him all ring really false but "I'M BUSY AND TIRED THANK YOU" is the dead give away for me)

cumshitter posted:

Why did they add a random... screw top jar of sugar??

cumshitter posted:

Why did they add a random... screw top jar of sugar??

Adar posted:

good point, I didn't know enough animu to get this but now that I've googled the reference it's obvious

thanks internet

quote:

I'm in my second year of undergrad at a state university in California and I'm having an issue with my brother, who in his late twenties and a computer engineer (this is relevant to my issue). As a sidenote I know very little about computers other than basic googling skills.

My brother is a very type-A person. Very perfectionist and hardworking, often to the detriment of himself and others. He is a nice and positive person and is successful in the traditional sense, but he is very controlling and has a bit of an overblown ego. I'm a much more relaxed person and the two of us share very little in the way of interests or guiding philosophies. I'm a visual arts major who likes to draw and he's the type of person who watched Fight Club and thought that Tyler Durden was onto something. We get along but have hostilities.

My brother resents the fact that I am not like him and that I don't look up to him as a role-model. He is very fond of mocking my interests/hobbies/career plans and he often talks literally about a "plan" for me in which I change my major to engineering and start taking his advice. When he brings this up now over the phone I stop talking to him for whatever amount of days/weeks until he apologizes and we do it all over again.

Two weeks ago, my brother made a joke referencing a piece of digital art I drew on my laptop. I didn't think anything of it until I realized after the call ended that I never posted that piece of art anywhere, not even onto any cloud service-- it had only been available on my physical laptop.

I was nervous and downloaded Malwarebytes but it didn't find anything. Thinking back I also recalled my brother making a joke about something I said to a friend privately on my Discord, which also was not publicly available. Checking Gmail and a few other websites I'm on that showed options I discovered someone had been logging into my accounts from an unfamiliar computer and had then been doing so for about a week.

I called my brother about this and he laughed and told me that he had remote access to my computer and that he'd be "checking" up on everything I was doing from this point on. I told him that that was ridiculous and he basically laughed and said that people today have no reasonable expectation of privacy anyway.

Without going into detail I've basically discovered that my brother literally has access to everything in my life. My bank account, school account, my art/chat accounts, all the files on my computer. He has even referenced information that leads me to think there is a very good chance of him having a camera/microphone in my room (he has been in my apartment in the last month and the only reason I think he might not is because I haven't been able to find it.)

There is nothing on my computer or Cloud files or anything I'm even remotely embarrassed about. But the idea that my brother has all my information is terrible and I want him to stop. I don't feel comfortable in my apartment or using my computer/personal accounts anymore. I'm writing this from my school's library.

Is there a way to clearly show him that this is wrong with an amount of force and guarantee my privacy in the future WITHOUT getting him in serious trouble? My brother is an idiot and I'm pissed at him for this (especially in the way where he acts like it's a joke or that he's doing it to "mentor" me, which he keeps saying, like he has called me knowing my class schedule which I never told him and reminded me to go to classes/etc) but I don't want his life should be ruined over this even if he is an rear end in a top hat. He has also "joked" about dropping my classes which I got really pissed at and he assured me it was a joke but I still feel uncomfortable that he'd even hint at that.

Thanks.

quote:

Update.

https://reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9bfo4r/my_brother_hacked_into_everything_and_is_trying/

Without going into a lot of detail, based on some of the stuff I read on here and a conversation with a friend, I realized that the way I viewed the relationship with my brother was incredibly messed up and I decided to act more seriously about this. I was thinking about how to proceed last night while cleaning, and then I actually found a camera. I know I said I thought there was one before but I don't think I really consciously did. It was in my bathroom.

I have gone to the police station and for now have an injunction against my brother. I also reported the computer hacking along with texts and a phone message he sent where he both alludes to and directly confirms it, so.

I don't know what'll happen but I feel a lot better having taken this right. I appreciate the comments people sent it helped a lot.

Thanks.

quote:

A second update. Still in California.

https://old.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9bveru/update_my_brother_hacked_into_everything_and_is/

Without exaggeration, this was probably the of the worst of my life.

After getting served the injunction/temporary restraining order thing, my brother 1. told my parents and 2. chose to immediately violate it. He left me several messages that essentially was low key threatening to ruin my life and I was scared so I reported it. He was taken to jail and to my current understanding is going to get a type of misdemeanor charge for it if he already hasn't. I don't know if hes in jail right now.

I knew my parents were going to take his side but they have effectively disowned me for this. My parents are very religious conservative catholics (i'm not religious anymore but they don't know that) and they were very upset by me reporting it. Thats an understatement. I have enough scholarships where I will be able to continue paying for my living expenses/school with my part time job but they way they treated me was horrible. They're very upset because thisll probably screw up his college according to the talks we've had. They said i'm disgusting/not welcome home etc. My dad sent me a video of him and my mom burning most of the belongings i left at his house (not much important to me but still). they don't believe me about the camera and my dad said he specifically didnt care even if it was there. just screaming the entire time, i stopped answering my phone and checking my email because it terrifies me. i bought a new cheap computer because even though someone helped me wipe it clean i'm honestly too scared of using the old one at this point.

i haven't left my room in a week. the worst of it is over i think but i feel like i felt in a pit. I can't stop crying.

Straight White Shark posted:

: the movie, in three acts

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] [Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]

Straight White Shark posted:

: the movie, in three acts

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] [Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]

Midnight Voyager posted:

I hope it does gently caress up the brother's college. What a piece of poo poo, and what a lovely family.

Straight White Shark posted:

: the movie, in three acts

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] [Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]

Straight White Shark posted:

: the movie, in three acts

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] [Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]

quote:

He came home, we went to lunch and he told me what a good guy he’d been because his buddies were being lovely (they have girlfriends) and how I would’ve been proud of him.

Then after lunch he took me to a river and asked me how I felt about our relationship - I told him I loved him (bc true). He told me I was the love of his life and he didn’t want to be with anyone else. But that we’re young and he doesn’t want to regret anything. He then told me what happened - he went out dancing with another lady and they ended up kissing before he left. I’ve trusted him through or relationship so I’m banking that to be all that happened. I just told him that we’re human and things happen.

He then asked for an open relationship- bc he didn’t want to feel guilty for kissing someone and maybe probably doing it more in the future. I was taken back and at first I almost saw it being something possibly? But then I went home and thought it through and realized it wasn’t for me.

I told him this and that I didn’t think I could be with him knowing that he wants to sleep with other women. And he kept telling me that we didn’t need to break up and that the open relationship was just something he wanted to see how I felt about.

I don’t feel like he ever said sorry and if he’s not sorry okay cool. But am I crazy to feel like he didn’t consider me in the equation at all? I am feeling a little of everything. I know I can’t be with someone no matter how much I love them knowing that’s how they feel.

I feel blind sided. Open to all thoughts. I can’t tell if I’m not truly seeing his side. Please tell me if I’m being fair.

EDIT: Also his main reasoning was that I didn’t call him while he was on his first trip to Europe. But I did call - our phones were having issues connecting. So he said he was mad that I hadn’t reached out ( but I did )

TL;DR - BF went on vacay, smooched another gal. Came home told me what happened then asked for open relationship. Am I crazy for not thinking it’s something to work past knowing he wants to be with other women?

quote:

So, my family bought me a car about a year ago. My parents paid 2,000, I paid 1,000, and my grandparents paid the rest (~12,000). The car is in my parents' names, so it's legally not mine. I live about 3 hours away from my parents. I'm 19, I'm still dependent on them financially, but they are beginning to cut me off because I refuse to move back in with them or go to a different university. My mom texted me, saying that I either have to drop the car off at their house and figure out a way to get home, or I have to pay them over $800 for the time and gas it would take them to come get it and go home.

Also, I have over $2,000 in a safe at their house that belongs to me. It could be $3,000, I don't really know the total amount because they refuse to tell me or count it. I know for sure it's at least $2,000. They've refused to put it in my bank account, saying I'm not responsible enough and they should be able to control all of my finances. They also owe me $72 for a parking fee they told me they'd pay me back for.

What kind of legal action should I take to get my money back? I can handle them not paying me back for the parking fee, but $2,000-$3,000 is a lot of money. I also contributed $1,000 to the car assuming that I'd be able to drive it for years. Can they legally make me drive the car back to them or pay them to come get it?

I appreciate any advice you might have. Thank you so much!

Edit: my parents are in Ohio, I'm in Indiana

quote:

This is in Ohio. I had posted yesterday about a car that is in my parents name, and my parents having money in a safe that belongs to me. The money is a collection of Christmas/birthday/other gifts from family members.

Now, they are refusing to give that money back to me. They finally told me that there is $2,700 in the safe that is mine. They are saying that I owe them $500 and I owe my grandparents $2,200. I called my grandparents, and they said that I don't owe them any money. My parents claim that I owe them money because when I moved into my new apartment, they purchased a lot of supplies for me. I had asked at the check out when we first bought the stuff if I needed to pay for any of it. My father said that they would just put it all on his credit card. When we got back to the apartment, I asked my father again if I needed to pay them back for anything. He said that he and my mother would discuss it and let me know. I asked my mother if I needed to pay them back, and she said no. A month and a half has passed since then, and we had never discussed it again until now. If I had known beforehand that I was going to have to pay for all of this stuff, I would have returned some of it or bought cheaper versions of certain items. My parents actually argued with me when we were shopping to buy more expensive items. I wanted to get a $10 lamp, they demanded that I get a $40 lamp instead, for example.

Also, I told my parents I wanted to get my birth certificate or other legal documents when I drop their car off on Friday. They told me that I can go get new ones, and they would just destroy the ones that they have. Can they legally do this? Also, a friend told me that I can call the non-emergency police number and ask that an officer accompanies me to get legal documents like that. Is that really an option?

Do I actually owe them this money? Can they come back and claim that I owe them the amount that they paid in insurance or phone bills since I've turned 18? I'm about 19 and a half now, if that helps. My parents are also in the process of cutting me off financially, which they told me about yesterday. They have never told me that I need to pay them back for any insurance/phone/car payments either.

I don't know who to call or what to do. I'd appreciate any advice you have, and there is really no way to "reason" with my parents. They are doing this stuff because they want to try and get me to move back in with them instead of living on my own. They're trying to make it as difficult as possible for me to survive without them.

Edit: my mom has sent me pictures of the envelopes that the money is in. They say stuff like "Christmas" or "garage sale" on them and most have my name on it. They had also taken $1,500 from my bank account a while back, and I noticed the envelope for that money that in there as well.

Edit: I live 3 hours away from my parents. They are expecting me to bring the car to them on Friday this week.

quote:

Here's my original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/970wq9/update_parents_are_now_withholding_money_that/?utm_source=reddit-android

Things have kinda calmed down now so I'd figured I'd post an update about what went down. I went to the post office and changed my address to avoid my parents receiving anything of mine in the mail. I talked with an officer at my local police station, who told me that I didn't have to deliver the car to my parents since I'm not preventing them from taking it and stuff. I took pictures and a video of the car before locking the keys in the trunk and leaving it at my apartment complex. I called my parents and told them to come get it, and they did the next day.

I got my own health insurance and phone plan, but my parents still haven't cancelled it on their end and keep telling me that I'm wasting my money. I am pretty sure I will be completely financially independent once they cancel the car insurance they have for me, but I also remembered my grandma got life insurance for me a while back and I'm not sure what to do about that.

I also talked with my grandparents about the money my parents gave them from my savings, and I asked if they could deposit the money in my savings or checking account. My grandma was clearly uncomfortable about the whole situation, and she told me that my mother gave her the money to keep safe for me until I need it (which is not what my mother told me). So I don't think I'll be getting the money back from my grandparents.

I also remembered that my dad had withdrawn $1,500 from my bank account (he was a cosigner). That money was probably from me working/babysitting, so I contacted the bank asking if they could send me the receipt of the withdrawal which has my dad's name on it and the bank that he withdrew it from. I plan on closing that account once I download all of the past statements and stuff.

I also got married. I hope that I never have to deal with my parents again, and it sounds like the easiest and cheapest way to truly be independent from them. I didn't marry some random dude, we had been dating for about 8 months and had moved in together (still a little fast, I know). He's been extremely helpful and supportive throughout the whole situation, and I'm so glad he was there for me.

Now, my family is trying to act as if nothing happened. My mother wants to call me and talk about school and stuff, and wants my grandparents to come pick me up to visit for Thanksgiving. My mother wants to come visit me and take a day trip to a local park. Until I get a new car though, I don't plan on visiting them so I don't have to rely on them to get home.

Thank you guys for all of the advice. It's been a stressful month, but I think I will be okay. It feels really good being free from my parents control, and lately I've been a lot less anxious. I still feel uncomfortable while talking with my parents, but I hope that they get help with their control issues so we can have a better relationship.

Edit: OH/IN location

Haifisch posted:

Parents are saying i have to pay them to come pick up the car they let me use, and are keeping money from me


Update: Parents are now withholding money that belongs to me


Update: Parents (sorta) cut me off and are still witholding money

Haifisch posted:

Parents are saying i have to pay them to come pick up the car they let me use, and are keeping money from me


Update: Parents are now withholding money that belongs to me


Update: Parents (sorta) cut me off and are still witholding money

Midnight Voyager posted:

Like Jesus gently caress, he had a camera in her bathroom. How loving gross is that? She's his sister, and it's the room she's most likely to be naked in, THAT isn't blatantly and disgustingly weird!

quote:

She's straight, and I am not. We've been friends for about 7 years now.

This happened last week when we were having a few drinks together. I didn't intentionally admit my feelings for her. We've always been really close and open to telling each other everything (like in the past, every little thought was perfectly okay to talk about). We also have weird senses of humor.

I followed something she had said with something like "God I don't know if I want to be you or gently caress you sometimes" which I meant jokingly. She started going on a line of questioning and I answered honestly without really thinking (alcohol + super open friendship). It came out that yeah, I had feelings for her and if she were receptive to it, I would love to have a relationship with her but that I knew that we could only be friends and that I was okay with that.

I'll be honest, the rest of the night gets a little fuzzy (not blacked out, but just a little blurry) but I thought things were fine. We moved on and had fun. She let me crash at her place and even the following morning things seemed fine.

After that, her behavior around me started to change. She hasn't talked to me as much or as openly as before. Sometimes she seems depressed/sad. Sometimes she straight-up avoids me. Other times she's hugging me or cuddling up to me. She's also managed told me she loves me like a friend at least 3 times a day (mostly through text) every day for the since then. Every other text now has a heart emoji now, too.

It is just weird. I've tried talking to her about it a bit but I don't know how to. All I have done is asked things like if she was okay and what I could do to make her feel better/more comfortable because I can tell that things are different. I keep getting things like:

• "Nothing's wrong"
  
• "This doesn't change anything"
  
• "I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone right now" (Never asked her to date me, but that's how she's responded sometimes when I've asked what's wrong)
  
• "I don't think I could be with a woman" (Again, never asked her to be with me/any woman)
  
• "I am okay with how you feel about me"
  
• "You don't need to do anything"
  
• "Please don't distance yourself from me" (This has been in response to if she needs time/space)
  
• "I don't want to lose you"
  
• "Are you okay?"
  
• "I still love you"
  
• "You've done nothing wrong"
  

I don't really know where to go from here. I can tell that she's uncomfortable with some aspect of what happened. I understand my place as her friend and nothing more. I am trying to be respectful.

TL;DR: Trying to get a friendship on track after feelings drunkenly come out into the open but having difficulty.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I [23 F] told my best friend [21 F] that I had feelings her when we were drunk, and she rejected me. I am okay with it, but she seems not to be.

Midnight Voyager posted:

"I'm not saying the weeaboo is any better, but I am contractually obligated to poo poo on the woman in any given story, even if the husband wants to gently caress anime children."

Pick posted:

Your friendship is over.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Eh, it can be salvaged. Her friend might need some time apart to process, though.

Pick posted:

Nope.

Hellblazer187 posted:

Possible the friend has some feelings too and is having trouble processing the idea?

Midnight Voyager posted:

Like Jesus gently caress, he had a camera in her bathroom. How loving gross is that? She's his sister, and it's the room she's most likely to be naked in, THAT isn't blatantly and disgustingly weird!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

https://twitter.com/forexposure_txt/status/1034108282451968006

Straight White Shark posted:

: the movie, in three acts

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]


[Update] [Update] My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA]

MarcusSA posted:

lovely parents and all that but something just seems off about the whole thing. I’m getting some strong unreliable narrator vibes from it.

I'm guessing it probably has something to do with the 35 year old dude she married.

Pick posted:

Nope. It's cute to think gay relationships or lack thereof are different but they are not.

Reince Penis posted:

Ugh I live just off that google map

Absurd Alhazred posted:

What, you wouldn't be able to remain friends with someone if he said he were also attracted to you? You wouldn't be able to stay friends with someone if you were attracted to him, but he said he was only interested in remaining friends?

Blade Runner posted:

It's actually legitimately extremely difficult to remain friends if one of you wants to be more than friends. That'll hang over your friendship forever.