PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

SiKboy posted:

Aristasia Honeypot was the best bond girl.

# ? Sep 9, 2018 21:54

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# ? May 27, 2024 06:51

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

Just don't go into your bathroom and say "Laura Loomer" three times with the lights off while looking into the mirror.

Don't make my mistake.

Alan Smithee posted:

If you do just say

"Ma'am, this is a Brutalist McDonald's"

# ? Sep 10, 2018 02:40

I brought my Drake: Jul 10, 2014; These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Is this from the same thread? Haven't caught up yet.

zoux posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/LauraLoomer/status/1037468070992916483

Reminder that the way she was �censored� was losing her blue checkmark

Besesoth posted:

Look, Laura, just because he owned you doesn't mean he was auctioning you off.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 11:46

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as my value is slowly bid up and i transform into a chattel

# ? Sep 10, 2018 12:20

Syd Midnight: Sep 23, 2005

Bear Retrieval Unit posted:

it's called having a cat.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 15:10

Happy Thread: Jul 10, 2005; by Fluffdaddy; Plaster Town Cop

bring back old gbs posted:

infernal machines posted:
actually, the color blue exploded. a few times

fuckin christ

quote:
Tesla handled the April 3 fire with its own internal brigade. It did not report it to the Fremont Fire Department, a spokesperson for the department confirmed.

However, a citizen did call after seeing reports about the fire on social media that day, the fire department spokesperson said. Tesla security greeted a fire department battalion chief who went to investigate and said the department had no internal reports of fire at the facility, the spokesperson said. The chief toured the exterior of the Fremont factory looking for signs of fire, and seeing nothing but a "cloud formation" outside, left without going inside, according to the spokesperson.

Fires like these are not common in auto manufacturing. It is especially uncommon for a plant to have multiple fires in a paint shop.

they straight up lie to the fire dept. about what is going on inside

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

Fire chief: Good lord what is happening in there!?

Elon Musk: Aurora borealis

Teal posted:

But what if... I were to employ underpaid cultists and disguise it as my own engineering? Oh-hohohoho, Delightfully devilish, Elon.

poisonpill posted:

[cue song]
Elon Musk with his crazy explanations,
The lead attorney's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Muskey's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
[end of song]
ATTY: "EEEEEEElon!"
Elon: Prosecuting Attorney, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
ATTY: Why is there smoke coming out of your lungs, Elon?
Elon: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the air friction we're producing! Mmm... fast conveyor! [beat] Ooh...

Jonah Galtberg posted:

OSHA AGENT: You call workplace injuries "steamed hands"?

MUSK: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

OSHA AGENT: Uh-huh. Er, what region?

MUSK: Uh, upstate Gauteng.

OSHA AGENT: Really? Well, I'm from West Rand and I never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hands."

MUSK: Oh, not in West Rand, no; it's a Pretoria expression.

im depressed lol posted:

SEC CHALMERS: Uh- 20,000 Teslas!? In one month's time, at this moment, in this vacant lot, manufactured entirely from your Fremont facility!?
Elon: Yes!
SEC CHALMERS: May I see it?
Elon: No.
Tesla Employee: Elon, the paintshop is on fire!
Elon: No, pedo�it's just a galactic backorder

poisonpill posted:

Five thousand? FIVE THOUSAND?! At this time of day, at this time of year, located entirely in your tent?
....Yes!
May I see it?
......No.

poisonpill posted:

Well, Elon, you are an odd fellow, but I must admit you hit a good blunt.

FAUXTON posted:

That's actually a cloud formation

# ? Sep 11, 2018 20:07

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Dumb Lowtax posted:

fuckin christ

they straight up lie to the fire dept. about what is going on inside

[/quote]

lmao

I lost it at "Elon! The paint shop is on fire!"

# ? Sep 11, 2018 20:20

DrSnakeLaser: Sep 6, 2011

Sanitary Naptime posted:

So I need to get more spiders to solve my spider problem. I feel this will only lead to me waking up to watch some starship troopers type poo poo going on next to my face.

It is nice knowing that the big horrible fuckers aren�t the top of the spider food chain, but �fastest in the world� is a hell mantra my brain won�t stop screaming so thanks/gently caress you thread

XMNN posted:

on the bright side, it means they'll be in your mouth for less time on their way down your throat

# ? Sep 11, 2018 22:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

klapman posted:

"God, I know, man. My dad insists on referring to each and every product by its full name. Like he won't say "let's have ravioli", he'll say "Let's have Chef Boyardee Ravioli", or he'll say "turn on the Toshiba TV". It's just baffling, I don't get it."

"My dad raped and murdered seventeen women in 1985, and forced me to chew their teeth."

- every thread relating to parents in this subforum ever

# ? Sep 12, 2018 03:27

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

Pick posted:

doesn't that include the thread you made about your parents?

# ? Sep 12, 2018 04:04

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Mycroft Holmes posted:

doesn't that include the thread you made about your parents?

That's the thread it was posted in

# ? Sep 12, 2018 04:32

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

SmokaDustbowl posted:

is anyone going to watch the predator movie? it's direct to video which I'm not not sure is a bad thing in this current era

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12-wsx1fjcg

I'll probably watch it if it's not like 2 and a half hours long

ol yeller posted:

Woody Allen hasnt been my thing for a while, sorry

e: oh nvm

# ? Sep 12, 2018 18:04

Jim DiGriz: Apr 28, 2008; Maybe there is no room for guys like us.; Grimey Drawer

enraged_camel posted:

Florence weakened slightly, but expanded in size.

Mezzanine posted:

heck, same

# ? Sep 12, 2018 21:03

Coq au Nandos: Nov 7, 2006; I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Winklebottom posted:

# ? Sep 13, 2018 02:02

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

Coq au Nandos posted:

No ring.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 03:36

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

90s Cringe Rock posted:

No ring.

How can you tell?

# ? Sep 13, 2018 04:02

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Skinner is an unlovable man who has never married

# ? Sep 13, 2018 04:31

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Machai posted:

How can you tell?

Because Seymour Skinner will die alone.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 04:37

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Good thing he isn't really Seymour Skinner

# ? Sep 13, 2018 05:21

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

FactsAreUseless posted:

Good thing he isn't really Seymour Skinner

It's more of a job title.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 05:32

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Good thing he isn't really Seymour Skinner

Mods?

# ? Sep 13, 2018 05:45

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

FactsAreUseless posted:

Good thing he isn't really Seymour Skinner

Is that because it's actually a Bart Simpson balloon prank thing?

# ? Sep 13, 2018 06:10

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Fun fact: I've never seen more than five episodes of the Simpsons, never seen that episode, and I still know his name is Armin Tamzarian, just from the internet. Thank you, internet.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 07:57

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Go watch some more episodes, you lunatic. Though not so much that one.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 08:24

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Go watch some more episodes, you lunatic. Though not so much that one.

And nothing more recent than around the season 13-14 mark at most. The drop in quality is a cliff-dive.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 09:22

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

FactsAreUseless posted:

Fun fact: I've never seen more than five episodes of the Simpsons, never seen that episode, and I still know his name is Armin Tamzarian, just from the internet. Thank you, internet.

Ooooh yeah, that's right. I forgot about that.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 09:55

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Armin is a better Skinner than Skinner himself in the same way that Venom Snake is a better Big Boss than Big Boss himself. This has been my essay on Baudrillard's Simulacra

# ? Sep 13, 2018 10:42

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Collapsing Farts posted:

The autism levels in here are off the charts!!!

QuarkJets posted:

They'll go down to background levels if you leave

Nothing fancy, just a good hit well delivered

# ? Sep 13, 2018 10:47

theflyingorc: Jun 28, 2008; ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS; Young Orc

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Go watch some more episodes, you lunatic. Though not so much that one.

That episode is still pretty good

It's just that the cracks are starting to show

# ? Sep 13, 2018 10:53

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

I recommend watching the Simpsons all the way through to that exact episode and then stopping.

The entire town literally gets together at the end of the episode and agrees to live a lie from that point forward. It's poetic.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 17:08

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

The Principal and the Pauper is an alright episode, the real dogshit starts with Alone Again Natura-diddily, and the series gets loving terrible by the time it hits Saddlesore Galactica

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:06

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

theflyingorc posted:

That episode is still pretty good

Improbable Lobster posted:

The Principal and the Pauper is an alright episode

This revisionist history will not stand

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:23

Don Gato: Apr 28, 2013; Actually a bipedal cat.; Grimey Drawer

purple death ray posted:

This revisionist history will not stand

I get a chuckle out of Skinner yelling "up yours, children!" as he's riding away.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Skinner being enthusiastically terrible at things is always gold.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:34

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

purple death ray posted:

This revisionist history will not stand

Season nine also has Das Bus, which is waaay worse

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:37

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Das Bus is funny because it's a bad episode but it's still better than pretty much any other LotF adaptation.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:40

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

sebmojo posted:

Nothing fancy, just a good hit well delivered

It�s good to see respect for the fundamentals.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:42

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Behind The Laughter followed by the movie is a pretty logical endpoint for the series.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 19:01

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Das Bus and Principal and the Pauper both have exactly one funny joke, which are Otto yelling "Zeppelin rules!" as he's being sucked underwater, and "Can I borrow your copy of Swank, Armin?"

# ? Sep 13, 2018 19:24

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# ? May 27, 2024 06:51

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Sir Lemming posted:

Behind The Laughter followed by the movie is a pretty logical endpoint for the series.

No one should be subjected to the movie.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 19:25

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