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dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib

Haifisch posted:

Let's have something lighthearted.

MN: Someone landed their hot air balloon in my yard and my dogs ripped it.

quote:

My dogs are good dogs but frankly hot air balloons are freaking weird

Sounds like your dogs picked up on your balloonist attitude..........wait, ah gently caress.

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A Moose
Oct 22, 2009



You guys know when that grandma saw that Adderall prescription her eyes probably turned in to dollar signs. Shes probably selling them herself.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

My friends and I [22f 23f 23f] have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. My boyfriend [29m] got really irritable about it, once I explained it to him.

I grew up in middle of nowhere Maine, like way out in the boonies. I don't miss much about it, now that I'm living in a major city, but there are a few things I miss, like riding my neighbors horses and having bonfires, and hiking at night without worrying about running into anyone. The quiet when everything is deep in snow.

I live in a large city now, and my two best friends and I always joke that the only way I'm getting them out to my hometown is if we need to hide a body in the woods. They have no interest in hanging out outdoors around a fire, hiking and fishing, or anything like that, they're city kids through and through. We've made a (jokey) pact that if any of us kills a man, we'll all go to the woods together to hide the body. But that's the only way they'll go to the woods. So, occasionally we'll joke about it. Like if one of us is mad at someone, one of us will say "Looks like we might be taking a trip out to the woods after all" or "poo poo, I guess we'll be 'enjoying nature' soon" or "Who's excited to go camping?"

My boyfriend asked what we meant by all that, once. Why we were talking about "taking a hike in Maine" after finding out some rear end in a top hat at a party groped a girl we're friends with. And I explained the joke. And he found it super tasteless, how we'd joke about literally dumping the body of anyone we were upset with. I tried to say that of course it was a joke, although the three of us are pretty ride or die, that's not going to include actual murdering. Obviously.

But ever since I explained the "Maine" jokes, he's been super irritable when it comes up. Calling it tasteless every time.

I honestly don't think it's anything too shocking, but he really disagrees. A week ago, my friends, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's friends were at a party, and one of my boyfriend's friends said something kinda homophobic. My friend who's a lesbian made a quiet "Maine" joke to me and my other friend, and my boyfriend got really rude with her, saying drunkly "that's my friend you're saying that poo poo about?" I tried to tell him he overreacted, and that made him more upset about it.

TLDR - My friends and I have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. I explained it to my boyfriend of 1 and a half years, and he gets really annoyed by it

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.
If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
I was expecting the inside joke to be racist or something.

Nope, just garden variety joking about killing someone.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

WoW>Your Wife

TL;DR My husband, 29m prefers playing World of Warcraft over spending time with me and my daughter. I need advice.

My husband and I have been married for almost five years. We have a 2 year old little girl together. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs, but for the most part we work our way through everything. One down that doesn't seem to go away is fighting about WoW.

My husband has been playing World of Warcraft since he was 12. His parents weren't very invested in his life and allowed him to play hours and hours as a child. Even as far as home schooling him which gave him even more free time to play. He goes through phases, which I've learned now coincide very well with when a new patch comes out of playing for hours on end to sometimes not playing for a few months at a time.

A new patch came out a few weeks ago, and here I am, stuck in this situation where I feel like my husband would pick his computer over me if the house was burning down. His life schedule today for example has been this: he rolled out of bed around 9:30. He slept in because he was up last night raiding until 2am. He was on the computer as fast as he could get dressed. I asked him to mow the lawn around 10:45, to which he replied, "he needed to finish his dungeon." So at 11:30, I gave up and did it myself. (Sometimes I feel more like his mom then his wife.) He got upset with me at 1:00 because I asked him to take a break so he stormed off to take a nap, but let me know I wasn't welcome to join. He woke up at 2:00, returned to the computer, and hasn't and won't leave it until #1. he has to use the bathroom, or #2. it gets to be late and he doesn't smell dinner cooking yet.

I've tried talking to him a million times over now and each time he puts it back on me saying I'm being needy, he needs a break because he works full time, or that he's bored and doesn't have anything better to do. We constantly fight about things that aren't WoW, but are completely tied into this addiction. Such as: getting no help with chores or the baby, me not wanting to have sex with him, (because who wants to have sex with a man who would rather be playing on the computer anyways. That doesn't make me feel pretty.) Etc.

Towards the middle of the patch, he'll get bored, stop playing or cut back a ton. I get my husband back and our life returns to normal. I find myself longing for him to get bored so I can get normalcy. Sometimes I dream of cutting the cord to the computer or permanently having the internet shut off because it would make that big of a difference.

It's taking a serious toll on our relationship. I find myself isolating more because confronting him on this problem has never worked out in the past and honestly, I feel really lonely. At one point, I too started playing with him because it was the only connection I could make with him. I since stopped and now he always says things like, "We can hang out if you'll just get on an level with me." I feel like I probably never should have started, but I was desperate... and really lonely.

It also impacts my daughter. My husband complains that she prefers to be with me, but honestly, he prefers to not be with her. At the age she is at now, I don't think she makes that connection but as she gets older, I don't think its healthy for her to be wrapped up in his habit.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can permanently solve this problem? Am I being crazy? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm really struggling.

death to all gamers, but ESPECIALLY mmorpg gamers

sincx
Jul 13, 2012

furiously masturbating to anime titties

Hellsau posted:

If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place.

If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP.

Domestic violence (obviously including murder) is no joke and should not be casually joked about, regardless of the gender of the joke-maker.

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Hellsau posted:

If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place.
Also: stop with the ‘uh problematic if genderswapped!!’ arguments, they’re dumb and that’s what redpill morons do.

Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Sep 18, 2018

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My friends and I [22f 23f 23f] have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. My boyfriend [29m] got really irritable about it, once I explained it to him.

So, my gut says he just doesn’t like how tight she is with her friends/that they have inside jokes at all, but I guess there’s an outside chance he really is that “sensitive” or whatever the appropriate term is for being upset by literally everything.

e:

sincx posted:

If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP.

Domestic violence (obviously including murder) is no joke and should not be casually joked about, regardless of the gender of the joke-maker.

Are you serious? It’s a loving joke. And not only is it the oldest joke in the book, it’s the one that’s most easily identified as not being indicative of an actual intent to harm.

This isn’t “My woman mouthed off to me last night.” “Heh, bet she’ll have a harder time doing that with a fat lip!” it’s “DID YOU SERIOUSLY TAKE THE LAST PIECE OF PIE? YOU’RE SO DEAD.”

burial fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Sep 18, 2018

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
Nah, he's just mad someone's pointing out the bad behavior of his shithead friends.

quote:

[–]tixxtwixxie [S] [score hidden] 2 hours ago

He did say he didn't like his friend's comment, but despite that, ours was a lot more tasteless.

Calling a band a homophobic slur VS joking about dumping his friends body in a fishing lake. He said what we were laughing about was way worse and tasteless


[–]changerofbits [score hidden] an hour ago

Was the friend joking about about the band being a homophobic slur? Like, was he being sarcastic? Or was he genuinely trying to insult the band that way?


[–]tixxtwixxie [S] [score hidden] an hour ago

He said that the band was fag*y


[–]italkwhenimnervous [score hidden] an hour ago

Whelp, looks like you're going camping now!

It's the classic "actually you're the terrible one because I said so, now stop making feel bad for being terrible/hanging out with terrible people" maneuver.

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WoW>Your Wife

TL;DR My husband, 29m prefers playing World of Warcraft over spending time with me and my daughter. I need advice.

My husband and I have been married for almost five years. We have a 2 year old little girl together. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs, but for the most part we work our way through everything. One down that doesn't seem to go away is fighting about WoW.

My husband has been playing World of Warcraft since he was 12. His parents weren't very invested in his life and allowed him to play hours and hours as a child. Even as far as home schooling him which gave him even more free time to play. He goes through phases, which I've learned now coincide very well with when a new patch comes out of playing for hours on end to sometimes not playing for a few months at a time.

A new patch came out a few weeks ago, and here I am, stuck in this situation where I feel like my husband would pick his computer over me if the house was burning down. His life schedule today for example has been this: he rolled out of bed around 9:30. He slept in because he was up last night raiding until 2am. He was on the computer as fast as he could get dressed. I asked him to mow the lawn around 10:45, to which he replied, "he needed to finish his dungeon." So at 11:30, I gave up and did it myself. (Sometimes I feel more like his mom then his wife.) He got upset with me at 1:00 because I asked him to take a break so he stormed off to take a nap, but let me know I wasn't welcome to join. He woke up at 2:00, returned to the computer, and hasn't and won't leave it until #1. he has to use the bathroom, or #2. it gets to be late and he doesn't smell dinner cooking yet.

I've tried talking to him a million times over now and each time he puts it back on me saying I'm being needy, he needs a break because he works full time, or that he's bored and doesn't have anything better to do. We constantly fight about things that aren't WoW, but are completely tied into this addiction. Such as: getting no help with chores or the baby, me not wanting to have sex with him, (because who wants to have sex with a man who would rather be playing on the computer anyways. That doesn't make me feel pretty.) Etc.

Towards the middle of the patch, he'll get bored, stop playing or cut back a ton. I get my husband back and our life returns to normal. I find myself longing for him to get bored so I can get normalcy. Sometimes I dream of cutting the cord to the computer or permanently having the internet shut off because it would make that big of a difference.

It's taking a serious toll on our relationship. I find myself isolating more because confronting him on this problem has never worked out in the past and honestly, I feel really lonely. At one point, I too started playing with him because it was the only connection I could make with him. I since stopped and now he always says things like, "We can hang out if you'll just get on an level with me." I feel like I probably never should have started, but I was desperate... and really lonely.

It also impacts my daughter. My husband complains that she prefers to be with me, but honestly, he prefers to not be with her. At the age she is at now, I don't think she makes that connection but as she gets older, I don't think its healthy for her to be wrapped up in his habit.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can permanently solve this problem? Am I being crazy? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm really struggling.

death to all gamers, but ESPECIALLY mmorpg gamers

WoW is only 14 years old so he must have an uncle at blizzard that let him play the game before it was even announced.

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Haifisch posted:

Nah, he's just mad someone's pointing out the bad behavior of his shithead friends.


It's the classic "actually you're the terrible one because I said so, now stop making feel bad for being terrible/hanging out with terrible people" maneuver.

drat. Never said I had good instincts. That makes perfect sense too.

Clocks
Oct 2, 2007



That inside joke sounds pretty harmless and lol at people using homophobic slurs as insults still being a thing in 2018 and other people still defending them.

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

Wow wife should take her husband on a hike in Maine.

Girl with cool murder joke should just dump her lame dummy of a BF

Hello Ketene
Dec 30, 2011

My 65 year old dad pretends to faint from anxiety for sympathy and my family believes him. I'm (33) sick of it.

quote:

Edit: Thank you to everyone for your responses, I swear I read all the comments. I didn't expect so many so if I didn't thank you, I apologize! The advice superseded my expectations. I need to go for a run and think. My wife and I are planning to chat about this tonight. I'm seeing things in a more clear way. Thanks reddit! I will let everyone know the outcome at some point.

I (33) have two younger siblings: brother (24) and sister (18). My mom and dad got divorced about 2 years ago. I have a family and my brother and sister stayed with my mom to finish school. My dad took it horribly and has become bitter and needy. He's delusional about it and claims he left my mom and he's totally fine in regards to the divorce. I knew for a long time that this was coming, but it took my siblings for a bit of a surprise. My dad has always been controlling and selfish and my mom lived a seperate life throughout most of their marriage (that I remember).

My dad moved about an hour away to live on his sister's property. When he left he caused a pretty big scene. He told us he probably wouldn't be seeing any of us for about 6 weeks so he could adjust. I know he returned to their house the next day, screaming and asking my little sister to pack for him and then offered to show my brother and sister emails between he and my mom that proved she's a cheater. I guess my brother and sister wanted to read it. He left a stack of print outs in an envelop on my porch but I threw it away after reading like 3 emails.

About 6 months after they separated he started having anxiety attacks. They usually occurred in the car when I was driving him places or we would be in public. I have anxiety and depression, what he does seems fake but I'm not a professional. Any time someone disagrees with him or he's not getting his way he starts taking huge breaths and grabbing his chest and screaming. He says he needs to leave immediately or to stop the car immediately. If I tell him we are almost home he starts pounding on the door. I just stop the car and ignore him. But my siblings (and aunt) will get stressed out and dote on him. Once he gets this he stops. I tried mentioning it to my brother but he kinda got pissed at me and said we need to be helping dad so I dropped it. So this has been going on about a year and a half or so.

My time is pretty divided up between family but I spend most of my time with my wife and kids. My kids are in sports and band so I feel like a chauffeur most nights after work. Well now my dad calls all of me at least twice a week to take him to the hospital because he's having an attack and he fainted. I've dropped a few events to take him but as soon as he's in a bed and getting attention it stops. I kind of get an attitude now when he calls me for this. My siblings who, one in college and the other has a girlfriend, never seem to want to take him but tell me I'm being selfish if I pass it off to them. My aunt got more involved and she mostly ends up doing it now but he still calls me. I feel like my dad calculates these moments. Sometimes it's 8am on a Sunday or 11pm on a Monday. Holidays and always on my mom's birthday.

He tells my sister that we need to be taking care of him more and that he had a heart attack from the stress. She cries when he gets like this and my brother is stressed out but mostly avoids family stuff altogether except a few times a year now.

2 events that tipped me over: 1- we all took a trip to NYC for my dad's 65th in the Spring. He never went and neither have my kids or my sister so we were all excited. We got some Groupon deals for hotels for a night and planned to see sights. We all paid for our own tour bus tickets and had a great time for the first several hours of our trip. The bus let's you off and on so we stopped to see the statue of liberty and eat. My dad wanted to eat something specific but missed the stop. Then he wanted to get a beer but my kids were getting tired and wanted to see the park so he had to do without. My sister got annoyed with my dad when he kept bickering about the kids being cranky. When we got back on the tour bus we sat in the back and my dad started breathing in and out and screaming and slamming fists on the seats. It started quietly but I noticed the progression of intensity. I kept hearing him says, "oh no! Not now!" My dad was sitting near my kids and some other kids and started cursing. He screamed "Jake (me), I need you to get your kids now!" I went to get them and they seemed frightened. My aunt and sister moved to sit with him. My aunt is praying and they are helping him breathe but I keep hearing him yell that he needs to get off the bus right now. Everyone is staring at us. My wife is embarrassed and so am I. My aunt tells me to ask the driver to stop the bus but he doesn't understand me. We get off at the next stop and my dad is "weak." My aunt is helping him and my sister is crying and my kids are too. My brother asks my dad what he needs and he says a beer and we need to go to the hospital. After all this, it's getting dark and my kids are tired and hungry so my wife and I leave and forget the park. My sister and aunt take him to the hospital and my brother takes off.

2-Last month my brother and his girlfriend are moving in together and my sister is about to go away for school so we wanted to do a dinner to celebrate at a nice restaurant. My dad's treat. My wife wanted to get a babysitter so it was me, wife, dad, brother, brother's girlfriend and sister. My dad starts off ordering 3 appetizers and drinks. My sister seems so happy about college and my wife really likes my brother's girlfriend. She mentions something about meeting my mom and my dad starts obsessing. My sister notices immediately and starts to ask if he's ok. He starts clutching the table and shaking it. The glasses and plates rattle. He says, "oh no, its coming," and starts to let out little yells and people look over. My wife and I get embarrassed. I tell my dad let's go outside and get air and he responds with a yell as he tries to get up, he asks me for assistance to get up and I help him. He starts shaking and yelling in agony. My sister is really upset and follows us. He says he must be having anxiety because my sister is going away and he's so sorry to ruin the night. He then slowly falls to his knee and closes his eyes. The wait staff has constantly been checking in with us and the manager is behind my dad. My dad opens his eyes and screams ambulance! Another night ruined. My dad left in an ambulance and my wife and I footed the bill. I told my aunt and brother that his behavior seems fake and over the top and he's being difficult and he is suddenly fine with attention. The doctors have found nothing physically wrong and refer him to a therapist (which he won't do). My aunt reassured me his symptoms are very real and she remembers the bus incident and my brother shrugs but kind of says yeah but we need to help him.

My wife agrees with me and this is causing a lot of inconvenience to me. Am I being an rear end in a top hat? I'm not getting anywhere with my family and if I stop helping my dad they will be pissed. Everyone seems to think I'm a huge jerk for my opinion. I love my siblings and they look up to me, especially my sister. I don't want to damage our relationship. But my wife rolls her eyes when my dad calls now and gets annoyed when I go help him especially when it interferes with the kids activities. I'm sick of going out in public or doing things with him. I've tried talking to a few buddies but they kinda laugh and don't know what to say. Please reddit help me brainstorm my options! Should I be helping my dad when he's in need?

Tldr: After my parents split up my dad started having over the top pressing anxiety where he calls me and my siblings frequently to take him to the hospital. He has public scenes and ruins family events. I'm sick of it but my family feels bad and wants to help him. I don't want to destroy relations between family but my wife is annoyed.

teardrop
Dec 20, 2004

by Pragmatica

burial posted:

So, my gut says he just doesn’t like how tight she is with her friends/that they have inside jokes at all, but I guess there’s an outside chance he really is that “sensitive” or whatever the appropriate term is for being upset by literally everything.

e:


Are you serious? It’s a loving joke. And not only is it the oldest joke in the book, it’s the one that’s most easily identified as not being indicative of an actual intent to harm.

This isn’t “My woman mouthed off to me last night.” “Heh, bet she’ll have a harder time doing that with a fat lip!” it’s “DID YOU SERIOUSLY TAKE THE LAST PIECE OF PIE? YOU’RE SO DEAD.”

The difference is the specificity. “You’re dead” bothers nobody, but “I’m going to shoot you with this gun that I have here, haha no seriously I am a responsible gun owner” bothers most people. If he’s sensitive, he could definitely read “I and my two friends have agreed to murder you and dispose of your body in a location that we have already picked out” as more of the latter.

Xik
Mar 10, 2011

Dinosaur Gum
She should :sever: and find a guy with a sense of humor.

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.
I don’t see how “Welp, guess it’s time for a camping trip haha” is closer to “See this ice pick? it’s about to go in your eye socket” than it is any generic “I’ll murder you if you do X!/She did what? I’m gonna kill her” jokey statement.

I mean, even in the extremely serious example she cited (somebody groped a mutual friend) it still comes across as a way of using humour to cope with a lovely situation rather than a poll to see who’s down with actually murdering the offending party.

I see what you’re saying, it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing normal people would get bent out of shape over.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THREATENING MY FRIEND OH MY GOD

Come on.

I guess there’s always the outside chance she’s downplaying it real hard and they have maps and charts and body disposal protocols that they pull out and reference as they say “no, I just read a new thing and the fastest method of exsanguination is...” but that’d just kind of make her more awesome for really committing to the bit.

burial fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Sep 18, 2018

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

burial posted:

I don’t see how “Welp, guess it’s time for a camping trip haha” is closer to “See this ice pick? it’s about to go in your eye socket” than it is any generic “I’ll murder you if you do X!/She did what? I’m gonna kill her” jokey statement.

I mean, even in the extremely serious example she cited (somebody groped a mutual friend) it still comes across as a way of using humour to cope with a lovely situation rather than a poll to see who’s down with actually murdering the offending party.

I see what you’re saying, it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing normal people would get bent out of shape over.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THREATENING MY FRIEND OH MY GOD

Come on.

I guess there’s always the outside chance she’s downplaying it real hard and they have maps and charts and body disposal protocols that they pull out and reference as they say “no, I just read a new thing and the fastest method of exsanguination is...” but that’d just kind of make her more awesome for really committing to the bit.

Whatever, Plant Food. :rolleyes:

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Whatever, Plant Food. :rolleyes:

Wait are you threatening to kill me now? because I really think you’re keen and am OK with that.

vvv

Goddamnit. You got me and it’s the first time I’ve ever been combo’d so I like you too. I’ll never joke about an unmarked grave again. For like at least a week.

burial fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Sep 18, 2018

sincx
Jul 13, 2012

furiously masturbating to anime titties

burial posted:


I guess there’s always the outside chance she’s downplaying it real hard and they have maps and charts and body disposal protocols that they pull out and reference as they say “no, I just read a new thing and the fastest method of exsanguination is...” but that’d just kind of make her more awesome for really committing to the bit.

Pro username-post combo.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

teardrop posted:

The difference is the specificity. “You’re dead” bothers nobody, but “I’m going to shoot you with this gun that I have here, haha no seriously I am a responsible gun owner” bothers most people. If he’s sensitive, he could definitely read “I and my two friends have agreed to murder you and dispose of your body in a location that we have already picked out” as more of the latter.

Not only sensitive but also the world's biggest weenie, sure

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

burial posted:

Wait are you threatening to kill me now? because I really think you’re keen and am OK with that.

You think I'm keen? :blush:

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

You think I'm keen? :blush:

I said it, didn’t I?

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

if somebody tells you they don't have a hypothetical, all-purposes body-dumping location picked out should they need one, they're lying to you

if somebody tells you they have a plot in mind specifically for you, then you might worry.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment.

quote:

So my boss has been planning to fire me since July and I have learned that the only reason I stayed on since July is because my boss wanted to wait until after I moved closer to the job.

He pretended to be my friend and even suggested places for me to live up to a week ago.

I moved into the new apartment this weekend and the first question my boss asked was if I had moved into the apartment yet. WHen I said yes, he congratulated me and then asked to see me in his office.

I was told by several people at the job site that he has been planning to dump me the day after I moved out of my parents house since the middle of July. Some of them even texted me the email that went out. It was very condescending and unprofessional. To make it 100 percent clear. He laughed when he heard how much of a panic I was in.

He specifically led me to believe my job was secure and even encouraged me to move for 2-3 months just to put me in this position.

To be clear. I was not fired fired. Just let go.

I know that being in Texas means at will, but at the same time I know that certain ways of terminating employment are still illegal.

Would this count as illegal, or would his actions give me some recourse?

quote:

Some people think its cause I would not gently caress him, but that's wild speculation. He has never given me any indication that he wants me other than occasionally forcing himself to look into my eyes and not my chest.

My boyfriend, who still works there and no one knows is my boyfriend, says that it could be ffxiv related. A few months ago I quit the static we were in and this caused the static to break up. He was super pissed that he never got to beat O8S. (Its a raid in final fantasy 14) He has not really gotten over that.

I wish I were joking.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Haifisch posted:

TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment.

I want this to go to court so raid drama has to be debated in the legal system.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Haifisch posted:

TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment.

Hahahahahaha

That second part.

hahahahahahah

Literally dying over here.

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

Absurd Alhazred posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (27F) wants me to change my phone number, so that no girls that previously had my phone number, have it anymore. Is she right for asking this?


Just take the solution she's offering. She is offering to leave. If you do nothing the problem is solved.

Edit: Good ending?

Guy has to be willing to take that L. He should call her bluff.

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

Hello Ketene posted:

My 65 year old dad pretends to faint from anxiety for sympathy and my family believes him. I'm (33) sick of it.

It's called Bootehitus.

It is a severe lack of butt. His son should get him a prostitute.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Milotic posted:

Can’t imagine a scenario where a kid would have long lasting effects from their parent dying early and unexpectedly. Anyway, table top wargaming!

I [26M] want to play a tabletop WWII game, but WWII media makes my partner of 2 yrs [27F] uncomfortable. Should I just give up my hobby?


If you stripped out WWII, that’s like 10% of media content over here in Blighty.

Checked out the reddit comments to see if they were getting the same vibe as me, that the gf was being a bit controlling and manipulative while hiding behind treating it as some sort of issue of progressiveness. Largely they kinda let me down and were just waffling about until the op dropped this incredibly solid buried lead

quote:

I think I’m struggling with this part lately. We’ve both been going through changes in our relationship. She recently said she was feeling like a monogamous wasn’t really what she wanted, and we’ve been looking into polyamory. However I’ve been putting in a lot of emotional effort in that regard, as well as trying to be more active in political movements. And this just feels like another thing I’m being asked to compromise on. It just makes think maybe our differences recently have become more jarring.

I’ve been looking for a couples therapist that we could see and work on some of the deeper issues.

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Yeah exactly, making pesto for a GIRL to eat is manly. Just like sewing amateur lingerie for a girl to wear is manly. But what if a MAN wants to eat PESTO? Does he have to hunker in the corner of a gay bar? Scooping hunks of pesto into his maw before someone notices him and tries to switch him to buffalo wings? Or can he simply sit in a bistro in his pants and eat pesto like a man? :thunkher:

Making your own food for yourself is manly. Doing what you want and not giving a poo poo if women perceive it as gay for it is manly.

Dipping buffalo wings into homemade pesto, without anything else added to the recipe, is not manly.


ArbitraryC posted:

Checked out the reddit comments to see if they were getting the same vibe as me, that the gf was being a bit controlling and manipulative while hiding behind treating it as some sort of issue of progressiveness. Largely they kinda let me down and were just waffling about until the op dropped this incredibly solid buried lead

OP needs to dump the crazy person and LP WiF with Baloogan or someone equally insane/drunk

or C:MANO

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

My Imaginary GF posted:

Making your own food for yourself is manly. Doing what you want and not giving a poo poo if women perceive it as gay for it is manly.

Dipping buffalo wings into homemade pesto, without anything else added to the recipe, is not manly.


OP needs to dump the crazy person and LP WiF with Baloogan or someone equally insane/drunk

or C:MANO

PESTO IS MANLY AF WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HRRRRNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!! :argh:

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

Pick posted:

are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman

Update 4 Today, I [30M] broke up with my [31 F] girlfriend of 5 years

quote:

Hey everyone.

I just got out of an intense session with my therapist and wanted to come here and get it out... talk about what I learned and all the poo poo that's been going on, I guess.

I've been reading a lot about BPD and how they behave and that has helped me understand that the way she treated me and the things she said aren't "me". I internalized a lot of things and I now know that they aren't true. I'm working on letting go of them.

My therapist was excellent today. He helped me understand a lot of things. The biggest thing he helped me understand is that it's ok for me to be totally hosed right now:

"Is it ok for me to feel this way?" I said, barely suppressing sobs.

"Do you have a choice?" he said.

"No, not really."

"Dude, you're hosed right now! Repeat after me: 'I'm hosed'".

"I'm hosed."

"drat straight you're hosed. You feel how you feel and that's fine."

I've been feeling horrible about myself. Not only for leaving, not only for all my own screwed up bullshit, but because I felt like I should be working harder or doing more to get better instead of being a total wreck. But that's not true. It's ok for me to be a disaster right now. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.

Um.. sorry. Random sobbing. Except this isn't real time so I guess that doesn't matter.

Another thing he helped me work through was me still feeling like it was "my fault". Part of what we discuss in our men's group is setting boundaries. We must set boundaries and expect them to be respected, or we will get walked all over. I felt like I hadn't been firm enough or been "man" enough or whatever to set those boundaries and hold to them in the face of her lashing out and being manipulative and abusive in response to my needs and boundaries. That if I had been stronger, she would have respected me and things would have worked out.

He basically said "So it's your job to manage everyone else and their feelings and thoughts and behaviors? That's interesting.". And that helped a lot. It made me realize that the way she behaves, what she says, etc is her deal, not mine. That her behavior is based on her own programming, upbringing, etc and it's not my fault. It's not my fault. I still feel like it is, but logically I understand that it is not.

Another thing he helped me understand is my own inability to do something solely for myself: to be selfish. He told me that selfishness is an absolute requirement in order for me to:

Be happy

Be healthy

Give to others

Become my best self

I have to do what I want to do, and be ok with that fact, or I will never be able to give my gifts to the world. He said "There are guys right now who are far less intelligent and talented than you, and they are millionaires. Why? Because they are selfish. And the things they did to become millionaires benefitted many, many people. It seems backwards, but you're the one doing things backwards and you have been your whole life."

I told him some examples from my relationship and he painted it in a new light: I was always trying to do things for myself, but because I'm unable to recognize or admit it, due to my own bullshit programming, I redirected it as me doing something for other people.

For example, I enjoyed a delicious gourmet meal, so I cooked them. My GF hated cleaning up the dishes afterward, even though she had told me previously that she would clean if I cooked. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't put in the effort to clean when I had just worked my rear end off to make her and her son a delicious dinner. He helped me understand that I was making it for me, but saying it was for them because I cannot do things for myself. And she didn't want to clean it up because, while she enjoyed the dinner, she would just as soon have ramen noodles and no mess. So that made me feel like a huge rear end in a top hat.

I told him I felt like a huge rear end in a top hat and he said "Great! That's growth! Now we're getting somewhere!"

He gave me an assignment. He asked me what my favorite lunch meal is that I have ever made. I told him a turkey, swiss, lettuce, pesto sandwich on a wheat ciabatta. He said "Great! You're assignment is to go get everything you need to make that sandwich, and then make it, and eat it all by yourself, for yourself."


I told him I was unable to make myself go to the grocery store. I was paralyzed by it. He asked me why and I couldn't really answer. I have such a hard time identifying and naming emotions. But he helped me understand that it represents a few things:

Moving on from my GF

Moving in to myself

Taking care of myself wholly, with nobody to shift that caretaking to

He told me "This seems like a small thing, but it's not. This is heavy. This is huge. This is the first step into your crucible. Between here and the store you'll think of a million reasons not to go, but the only way to make this happen is by doing it. You can read a hundred books, but you can never learn to play tennis unless you play tennis".

So I did. On the way home from his office I went to the grocery store and got everything I need to make the sandwich. I was barely holding back a full out panic attack as I walked through the store. People probably thought I was insane.

After I got home and put things away, I came on here and posted. I still haven't made the sandwich and I don't want to make the sandwich and I feel like such a loving idiot for being so god drat afraid of making a loving sandwich.

So that's where I'm at. I'll update if I make the sandwich.

Also, thank you to everyone who has read my story, followed along and especially those who have commented with support and advice. It has been a huge part of this process and has helped me so much. I very much appreciate it and I thank you from the bottom of my empty little heart. <3

Edit: I made the sandwich! Now to eat it and enjoy the deliciousness!

Edit 2: I ate it while watching Legend of Korra (I wish I was a bender) and it was delicious.

Link to update #5

tl;dr: therapist kicked my rear end, made me realize a lot of things, settled some fears and now I'm afraid of making a sandwich.

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

My Imaginary GF posted:

Update 4 Today, I [30M] broke up with my [31 F] girlfriend of 5 years

What’s update 5? Does he eat more pesto? This guy is manly as hell.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
I too wish I was a Bender, the confident swagger, shiny metal rear end, and rampant alcoholism appeal to me.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy

burial posted:

What’s update 5? Does he eat more pesto? This guy is manly as hell.

There’s so much weeping and pesto in that story that I felt my own testosterone levels rise just from reading it. What a stud.

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay

Pick posted:

are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman

pick you've done it again!!

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Rakosi
May 5, 2008

D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
NO-QUARTERMASTER


From the river (of Palestinian blood) to the sea (of Palestinian tears)

sincx posted:

If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP.

Domestic violence (obviously including murder) is no joke and should not be casually joked about, regardless of the gender of the joke-maker.

everything should be casually joked about or nothing at all. humour is a great way to parse why and how something is good AND/or bad.

you and the ops bf are big squares

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