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Haifisch posted:Let's have something lighthearted. Sounds like your dogs picked up on your balloonist attitude..........wait, ah gently caress.
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Sep 17, 2018 23:29
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Cat Army 
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You guys know when that grandma saw that Adderall prescription her eyes probably turned in to dollar signs. Shes probably selling them herself.
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Sep 17, 2018 23:50
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My friends and I [22f 23f 23f] have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. My boyfriend [29m] got really irritable about it, once I explained it to him. I grew up in middle of nowhere Maine, like way out in the boonies. I don't miss much about it, now that I'm living in a major city, but there are a few things I miss, like riding my neighbors horses and having bonfires, and hiking at night without worrying about running into anyone. The quiet when everything is deep in snow. I live in a large city now, and my two best friends and I always joke that the only way I'm getting them out to my hometown is if we need to hide a body in the woods. They have no interest in hanging out outdoors around a fire, hiking and fishing, or anything like that, they're city kids through and through. We've made a (jokey) pact that if any of us kills a man, we'll all go to the woods together to hide the body. But that's the only way they'll go to the woods. So, occasionally we'll joke about it. Like if one of us is mad at someone, one of us will say "Looks like we might be taking a trip out to the woods after all" or "poo poo, I guess we'll be 'enjoying nature' soon" or "Who's excited to go camping?" My boyfriend asked what we meant by all that, once. Why we were talking about "taking a hike in Maine" after finding out some rear end in a top hat at a party groped a girl we're friends with. And I explained the joke. And he found it super tasteless, how we'd joke about literally dumping the body of anyone we were upset with. I tried to say that of course it was a joke, although the three of us are pretty ride or die, that's not going to include actual murdering. Obviously. But ever since I explained the "Maine" jokes, he's been super irritable when it comes up. Calling it tasteless every time. I honestly don't think it's anything too shocking, but he really disagrees. A week ago, my friends, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's friends were at a party, and one of my boyfriend's friends said something kinda homophobic. My friend who's a lesbian made a quiet "Maine" joke to me and my other friend, and my boyfriend got really rude with her, saying drunkly "that's my friend you're saying that poo poo about?" I tried to tell him he overreacted, and that made him more upset about it. TLDR - My friends and I have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. I explained it to my boyfriend of 1 and a half years, and he gets really annoyed by it
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Sep 18, 2018 00:15
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If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:18
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I was expecting the inside joke to be racist or something. Nope, just garden variety joking about killing someone.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:19
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WoW>Your Wife TL;DR My husband, 29m prefers playing World of Warcraft over spending time with me and my daughter. I need advice. My husband and I have been married for almost five years. We have a 2 year old little girl together. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs, but for the most part we work our way through everything. One down that doesn't seem to go away is fighting about WoW. My husband has been playing World of Warcraft since he was 12. His parents weren't very invested in his life and allowed him to play hours and hours as a child. Even as far as home schooling him which gave him even more free time to play. He goes through phases, which I've learned now coincide very well with when a new patch comes out of playing for hours on end to sometimes not playing for a few months at a time. A new patch came out a few weeks ago, and here I am, stuck in this situation where I feel like my husband would pick his computer over me if the house was burning down. His life schedule today for example has been this: he rolled out of bed around 9:30. He slept in because he was up last night raiding until 2am. He was on the computer as fast as he could get dressed. I asked him to mow the lawn around 10:45, to which he replied, "he needed to finish his dungeon." So at 11:30, I gave up and did it myself. (Sometimes I feel more like his mom then his wife.) He got upset with me at 1:00 because I asked him to take a break so he stormed off to take a nap, but let me know I wasn't welcome to join. He woke up at 2:00, returned to the computer, and hasn't and won't leave it until #1. he has to use the bathroom, or #2. it gets to be late and he doesn't smell dinner cooking yet. I've tried talking to him a million times over now and each time he puts it back on me saying I'm being needy, he needs a break because he works full time, or that he's bored and doesn't have anything better to do. We constantly fight about things that aren't WoW, but are completely tied into this addiction. Such as: getting no help with chores or the baby, me not wanting to have sex with him, (because who wants to have sex with a man who would rather be playing on the computer anyways. That doesn't make me feel pretty.) Etc. Towards the middle of the patch, he'll get bored, stop playing or cut back a ton. I get my husband back and our life returns to normal. I find myself longing for him to get bored so I can get normalcy. Sometimes I dream of cutting the cord to the computer or permanently having the internet shut off because it would make that big of a difference. It's taking a serious toll on our relationship. I find myself isolating more because confronting him on this problem has never worked out in the past and honestly, I feel really lonely. At one point, I too started playing with him because it was the only connection I could make with him. I since stopped and now he always says things like, "We can hang out if you'll just get on an level with me." I feel like I probably never should have started, but I was desperate... and really lonely. It also impacts my daughter. My husband complains that she prefers to be with me, but honestly, he prefers to not be with her. At the age she is at now, I don't think she makes that connection but as she gets older, I don't think its healthy for her to be wrapped up in his habit. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can permanently solve this problem? Am I being crazy? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm really struggling. death to all gamers, but ESPECIALLY mmorpg gamers
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Sep 18, 2018 00:25
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Hellsau posted:If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place. If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP. Domestic violence (obviously including murder) is no joke and should not be casually joked about, regardless of the gender of the joke-maker.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:26
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Hellsau posted:If the top reply on that reddit thread isn't, "sounds like you need to take your boyfriend on a hike in Maine," then Reddit truly is the worst place. Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Sep 18, 2018 |
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Sep 18, 2018 00:27
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My friends and I [22f 23f 23f] have a not-so-tasteful inside joke. My boyfriend [29m] got really irritable about it, once I explained it to him. So, my gut says he just doesn’t like how tight she is with her friends/that they have inside jokes at all, but I guess there’s an outside chance he really is that “sensitive” or whatever the appropriate term is for being upset by literally everything. e: sincx posted:If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP. Are you serious? It’s a loving joke. And not only is it the oldest joke in the book, it’s the one that’s most easily identified as not being indicative of an actual intent to harm. This isn’t “My woman mouthed off to me last night.” “Heh, bet she’ll have a harder time doing that with a fat lip!” it’s “DID YOU SERIOUSLY TAKE THE LAST PIECE OF PIE? YOU’RE SO DEAD.” burial fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Sep 18, 2018 |
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Sep 18, 2018 00:31
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Nah, he's just mad someone's pointing out the bad behavior of his shithead friends.quote:[–]tixxtwixxie [S] [score hidden] 2 hours ago It's the classic "actually you're the terrible one because I said so, now stop making feel bad for being terrible/hanging out with terrible people" maneuver.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:36
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WoW>Your Wife WoW is only 14 years old so he must have an uncle at blizzard that let him play the game before it was even announced.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:41
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Haifisch posted:Nah, he's just mad someone's pointing out the bad behavior of his shithead friends. drat. Never said I had good instincts. That makes perfect sense too.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:42
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That inside joke sounds pretty harmless and lol at people using homophobic slurs as insults still being a thing in 2018 and other people still defending them.
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Sep 18, 2018 00:44
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Wow wife should take her husband on a hike in Maine. Girl with cool murder joke should just dump her lame dummy of a BF
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Sep 18, 2018 00:56
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My 65 year old dad pretends to faint from anxiety for sympathy and my family believes him. I'm (33) sick of it.quote:Edit: Thank you to everyone for your responses, I swear I read all the comments. I didn't expect so many so if I didn't thank you, I apologize! The advice superseded my expectations. I need to go for a run and think. My wife and I are planning to chat about this tonight. I'm seeing things in a more clear way. Thanks reddit! I will let everyone know the outcome at some point.
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Sep 18, 2018 01:19
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burial posted:So, my gut says he just doesn’t like how tight she is with her friends/that they have inside jokes at all, but I guess there’s an outside chance he really is that “sensitive” or whatever the appropriate term is for being upset by literally everything. The difference is the specificity. “You’re dead” bothers nobody, but “I’m going to shoot you with this gun that I have here, haha no seriously I am a responsible gun owner” bothers most people. If he’s sensitive, he could definitely read “I and my two friends have agreed to murder you and dispose of your body in a location that we have already picked out” as more of the latter.
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Sep 18, 2018 01:28
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She should  and find a guy with a sense of humor.
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Sep 18, 2018 01:37
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I don’t see how “Welp, guess it’s time for a camping trip haha” is closer to “See this ice pick? it’s about to go in your eye socket” than it is any generic “I’ll murder you if you do X!/She did what? I’m gonna kill her” jokey statement. I mean, even in the extremely serious example she cited (somebody groped a mutual friend) it still comes across as a way of using humour to cope with a lovely situation rather than a poll to see who’s down with actually murdering the offending party. I see what you’re saying, it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing normal people would get bent out of shape over. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THREATENING MY FRIEND OH MY GOD Come on. I guess there’s always the outside chance she’s downplaying it real hard and they have maps and charts and body disposal protocols that they pull out and reference as they say “no, I just read a new thing and the fastest method of exsanguination is...” but that’d just kind of make her more awesome for really committing to the bit. burial fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Sep 18, 2018 |
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Sep 18, 2018 01:48
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burial posted:I don’t see how “Welp, guess it’s time for a camping trip haha” is closer to “See this ice pick? it’s about to go in your eye socket” than it is any generic “I’ll murder you if you do X!/She did what? I’m gonna kill her” jokey statement. Whatever, Plant Food. 
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Sep 18, 2018 01:52
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Absurd Alhazred posted:Whatever, Plant Food. Wait are you threatening to kill me now? because I really think you’re keen and am OK with that. vvv Goddamnit. You got me and it’s the first time I’ve ever been combo’d so I like you too. I’ll never joke about an unmarked grave again. For like at least a week. burial fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Sep 18, 2018 |
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Sep 18, 2018 01:55
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burial posted:
Pro username-post combo.
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Sep 18, 2018 01:55
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teardrop posted:The difference is the specificity. “You’re dead” bothers nobody, but “I’m going to shoot you with this gun that I have here, haha no seriously I am a responsible gun owner” bothers most people. If he’s sensitive, he could definitely read “I and my two friends have agreed to murder you and dispose of your body in a location that we have already picked out” as more of the latter. Not only sensitive but also the world's biggest weenie, sure
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Sep 18, 2018 01:59
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burial posted:Wait are you threatening to kill me now? because I really think you’re keen and am OK with that. You think I'm keen? 
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Sep 18, 2018 02:27
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Absurd Alhazred posted:You think I'm keen? I said it, didn’t I?
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Sep 18, 2018 02:36
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if somebody tells you they don't have a hypothetical, all-purposes body-dumping location picked out should they need one, they're lying to you if somebody tells you they have a plot in mind specifically for you, then you might worry.
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Sep 18, 2018 02:38
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TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment.quote:So my boss has been planning to fire me since July and I have learned that the only reason I stayed on since July is because my boss wanted to wait until after I moved closer to the job. quote:Some people think its cause I would not gently caress him, but that's wild speculation. He has never given me any indication that he wants me other than occasionally forcing himself to look into my eyes and not my chest.
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Sep 18, 2018 03:10
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Haifisch posted:TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment. I want this to go to court so raid drama has to be debated in the legal system.
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Sep 18, 2018 03:16
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Haifisch posted:TX - My boss knowingly waited to fire me until after I moved into an apartment. Hahahahahaha That second part. hahahahahahah Literally dying over here.
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Sep 18, 2018 03:17
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Absurd Alhazred posted:My (25M) girlfriend (27F) wants me to change my phone number, so that no girls that previously had my phone number, have it anymore. Is she right for asking this? Guy has to be willing to take that L. He should call her bluff.
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Sep 18, 2018 03:26
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Hello Ketene posted:My 65 year old dad pretends to faint from anxiety for sympathy and my family believes him. I'm (33) sick of it. It's called Bootehitus. It is a severe lack of butt. His son should get him a prostitute.
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Sep 18, 2018 03:40
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Milotic posted:Can’t imagine a scenario where a kid would have long lasting effects from their parent dying early and unexpectedly. Anyway, table top wargaming! Checked out the reddit comments to see if they were getting the same vibe as me, that the gf was being a bit controlling and manipulative while hiding behind treating it as some sort of issue of progressiveness. Largely they kinda let me down and were just waffling about until the op dropped this incredibly solid buried lead quote:I think I’m struggling with this part lately. We’ve both been going through changes in our relationship. She recently said she was feeling like a monogamous wasn’t really what she wanted, and we’ve been looking into polyamory. However I’ve been putting in a lot of emotional effort in that regard, as well as trying to be more active in political movements. And this just feels like another thing I’m being asked to compromise on. It just makes think maybe our differences recently have become more jarring.
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Sep 18, 2018 04:14
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Yeah exactly, making pesto for a GIRL to eat is manly. Just like sewing amateur lingerie for a girl to wear is manly. But what if a MAN wants to eat PESTO? Does he have to hunker in the corner of a gay bar? Scooping hunks of pesto into his maw before someone notices him and tries to switch him to buffalo wings? Or can he simply sit in a bistro in his pants and eat pesto like a man? Making your own food for yourself is manly. Doing what you want and not giving a poo poo if women perceive it as gay for it is manly. Dipping buffalo wings into homemade pesto, without anything else added to the recipe, is not manly. ArbitraryC posted:Checked out the reddit comments to see if they were getting the same vibe as me, that the gf was being a bit controlling and manipulative while hiding behind treating it as some sort of issue of progressiveness. Largely they kinda let me down and were just waffling about until the op dropped this incredibly solid buried lead OP needs to dump the crazy person and LP WiF with Baloogan or someone equally insane/drunk or C:MANO
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Sep 18, 2018 05:08
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My Imaginary GF posted:Making your own food for yourself is manly. Doing what you want and not giving a poo poo if women perceive it as gay for it is manly. PESTO IS MANLY AF WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HRRRRNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!! 
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Sep 18, 2018 05:13
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are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman
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Sep 18, 2018 05:19
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Pick posted:are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman Update 4 Today, I [30M] broke up with my [31 F] girlfriend of 5 years quote:Hey everyone.
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Sep 18, 2018 05:27
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My Imaginary GF posted:Update 4 Today, I [30M] broke up with my [31 F] girlfriend of 5 years What’s update 5? Does he eat more pesto? This guy is manly as hell.
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Sep 18, 2018 05:37
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I too wish I was a Bender, the confident swagger, shiny metal rear end, and rampant alcoholism appeal to me.
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Sep 18, 2018 05:43
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burial posted:What’s update 5? Does he eat more pesto? This guy is manly as hell. There’s so much weeping and pesto in that story that I felt my own testosterone levels rise just from reading it. What a stud.
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Sep 18, 2018 05:43
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Pick posted:are you guys still talking about pesto, like a woman pick you've done it again!!
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Sep 18, 2018 05:47
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sincx posted:If the genders were swapped everyone would be calling out the OP. everything should be casually joked about or nothing at all. humour is a great way to parse why and how something is good AND/or bad. you and the ops bf are big squares
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Sep 18, 2018 05:57
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