- My Imaginary GF
- Jul 17, 2005
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by R. Guyovich
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A hard rock is like your penis, and your mind is great friend (self.sex)
submitted 6 days ago by RajTheGreat4000
Well Raj of Rochester Institute of Technology's CompSci department, friend of Alibababa, possessed of a student Visa, sex having with two women, self-taught nerd, star of hit American TV show:
You have sex with all of them to git good
All. Of. Them.
Signed,
zaporozhian cossaks
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Sep 23, 2018 20:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 25, 2024 11:28
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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Weirdly typed, but fairly slim pickings on a Sunday night
I screwed up and let my lewd side go feeling very guilty 26m cheating with 35f
quote:u/[deleted]
I don't even know how to start this, since I feel like a compete jerk.
My grandmother has a sister, who has a daughter and a daughter of her own, she got married about 3-4 years ago and I personally never had close connection to her. though I always used to help her mom. So her mom send out a good word for me asking her daughter and her husband if they could help me get work as a programmer.
I was excited and finished the interview they both helped me a lot and it helped me move on a lot in my life, good salary etc…
We never really where close but now we spent more time together since we worked in the same space, we got to know each other better and became friends.
They both planned a baby and made it, I was happy for them. After a few months she got a large tummy and it started to turn me on, I have no idea why… she is even related to me somewhat by blood.
I started to complement her that she looks pretty and sexy, pregnant and things just went downhill from there… I have no idea what was going in my mind, at some point we just got alone with each other without her husband and had sex, it was very fun and very hot to be with a pregnant woman.
Issue is I shouldn't have done it… now I'm not sure what to do.
TLDR : Feeling a jerk, cheating on someone who helped me a lot in my life just because I got horny…
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Sep 23, 2018 20:55
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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Advice for dating in a small town? [M23]
quote:u/rsiii
Recently moved to Alexandria, MN (13k people) for work and I'm trying to date. Unfortunately I haven't had much success, online or offline. I've tried going to the few clubs and events I can find but I haven't seen many single women. I've also tried bumble and POF but I don't get "swiped right" often so I dont have that chance to even talk to people.
Still working on making friends in and out of work, which has been only slightly more successful.
Is there any advice you guys could give or potential things to look at that I haven't thought about yet? Any help is appreciated!
TL;DR New to a small town, dont know many people and haven't been successful in finding people to date. Would appreciate any advice I can get.
Church.
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Sep 23, 2018 20:59
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- Transmogrifier
- Dec 10, 2004
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Systems at max!
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Lipstick Apathy
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My husband was fired from his job today, after being sexually harassed by a woman for months and telling her no. /legaladvice
quote:My husband has been being harassed by a female coworker for months. He has become deeply depressed and worried about his job for the last few months. Well today it hit, as he was fired from the job he was at for 15 years due to turning her down sexually and she then turned him into HR for who knows what. The paper work says he was a low performer, but yet he has been the top in his department for years, and fills in for the manager when he is out.
The girl started a few months ago. My husband is 40, and we have been together 19 years. I am younger than him, work in a high profile job and am attractive. This whore should know this, his desk is riddled with pictures of me and our children.
We have two young children. It takes him 15 min to get to work/ home, and he is never late. He comes home on his lunch hour. I know he has done nothing wrong. We are homebodies and never leave except for work. We are always together.
So now he is unemployed, and we won't last long on just one paycheck. Maybe a month. Our son was in an accident last year and we used all of our savings to pay the hospital bill, and to take time off to care for him.
Any advice??
Financially we are screwed.
Sorry for using my alt account.
Do you think her husband is a DIRECTOR who earns 125K?
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Sep 23, 2018 21:06
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- My Imaginary GF
- Jul 17, 2005
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by R. Guyovich
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Advice for dating in a small town? [M23]
Church.
FarmersOnly.com
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Sep 23, 2018 21:06
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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quote:Dear Prudie,
When my brother and I were children, our parents were friends with another married couple, "Bob" and "Helen." Bob and Helen were frequent guests, and the two couples often traveled together. In my early teens, my family moved across the country, and Bob and Helen disappeared from our lives. Years passed. Last month, my parents were killed in a car accident. At the funeral, I was approached by an older couple who identified themselves as Bob and Helen. They asked if my brother and I would have dinner with them before they left. At the end of the meal, Helen revealed that she and Bob were swingers, and my parents had been their partners! She went on to say they'd had a falling out, and my parents had moved us across the country and cut off contact. She said they felt very parental toward us and wanted to be involved in our lives. My brother and I babbled something and fled.
They contacted me a few days later, and I politely told them neither one of us wants further contact. Bob got very hateful and said that my parents had filmed several "sessions" of the four of them, and if my brother and I didn't turn over the footage, we'd regret it. Bob has since been hounding my brother and me by phone and mail, threatening to let anyone who will listen know of our parents' history with them unless we comply. Is this a matter for the police, or would they laugh us out the door? The prospect of cleaning out my parents' home has gotten even bleaker, as I fear what every old VHS tape may hold. Then there's the larger issue, which is trying to fathom how my parents lived this life for so many years. Help, please!
—Too Much Information
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Sep 23, 2018 21:25
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I dont really follow how threatening to tell everyone that your very dead parents hosed them on the reg is a threat? Are you living off their inheritance granted due to them being vestal virgins?
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Sep 23, 2018 21:30
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- GamingHyena
- Jul 25, 2003
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Devil's Advocate
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Ah, blackmail. The last stop on the line of "open the marriage!"
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Sep 23, 2018 21:30
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Bob points at the OP, screaming, “This guys parents hosed! A lot! So much they hosed us too and then got bored of loving us and moved away to keep loving!”
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Sep 23, 2018 21:32
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- Jeza
- Feb 13, 2011
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The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
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We feel very parental, now let's discuss how we boned your biological parents constantly. There are videos. GIVE US THE VIDEOS OR SUFFER.
- normal people
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Sep 23, 2018 21:39
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I mean, the parents moved across the country with teenaged children just to get away from them. I can only imagine the kind of "falling out" they had.
the medical term is "prolapse"
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Sep 23, 2018 21:44
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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Yes, that is exactly how it went down and in no way was your husband the one harassing the girl at work.
Oh cool, victim blaming.
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Sep 23, 2018 21:49
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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I hate it when whore strumpets get hired on and then force me out within a couple of months because I refuse to share my precious bodily fluids with them
e: spelling
Clark Nova fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Sep 23, 2018
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Sep 23, 2018 21:53
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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Just gonna jump in to say this thread receives an inordinate amount of reports and is weird af. I check it when I want to put my finger down my throat. Have fun and d ont be weird.
You complain now, but one day when you're suffering from severe alcohol poisoning you'll be begging for this thread
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Sep 23, 2018 22:04
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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Just gonna jump in to say this thread receives an inordinate amount of reports and is weird af. I check it when I want to put my finger down my throat. Have fun and d ont be weird.
One weird trick to cure mod bulimia...
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Sep 23, 2018 22:05
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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My [30M] wife [28F] of 6 months is not willing to reconcile and wants a divorce.
quote:
We have been together over 4 years and have two cats, the cats were introduced into our home 6 months apart. Let's call the first cat Ebony, and the second cat Ivory. Ever since we got Ivory she hasn't given as much attention to Ebony, to the point friends would mention her instagram shifted from photos of Ebony to Ivory.
Few weeks ago we discussed what would happen if I suddenly died and I offhandedly blurted out I'd like my best friend to take care of Ebony - the cat adores him and gives more attention to him when he comes over than it does with my wife when shes at home. My wife is very passionate about animals and volunteers at shelters so she saw this comment as a break of trust, that I would rather a friend take care of our cat than her. And an attack or disregard on her character.
We had a big fight last year where she accused me of not trusting her because of things that happened in the past with my ex. I have tried to be more vulnerable around her and been opening up more but that comment about Ebony really touched a nerve.
I have been speaking to a professional about my trust issues since the comment about Ebony, with the hopes my wife would come along and just listen and reconcile. However, she doesn't want to see anyone even if its by herself and have just been calling for a divorce since. She has asked for time away from me and has moved out (with Ivory) for a few days now, no note on where she's going or how long she will be gone for.
What other options do I have to reconcile my marriage?
TLDR: Wife doesn't think I trust her, not willing to go counseling and wants a divorce.
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Sep 23, 2018 22:23
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I (17f) threw up in front of my boyfriend's (17m) parents who I just met for the first time.
quote:
This just happened a couple hours ago and I still feel absolutely mortified to the point where I haven't moved from my bed in three hours.
Around noon today, I went out to lunch with one of my friends. I ordered a chicken salad and halfway through, I realized that some pieces were pink in the middle. I sent it back and they made another one for me but little did I know, the damage had already been done. 
I've had my fair share of food poisoning before and usually, I start showing symptoms within two hours. Two hours past and I was completely fine so I thought that I may have lucked out this time around.
That night, I was supposed to have dinner at my boyfriend's house with his parents. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about four months and it's been going wonderfully. Around a week ago, he told me that his parents really wanted to meet me and wanted to have me over for dinner sometime. I was a bit hesitant since he's from an extremely affluent family (his dad owns a huge technology company and his mom is a professor at Harvard Law School) while I grew up in a low-income household with a single mom. I was really nervous and afraid that they wouldn't like me.
My boyfriend picks me up at around 6:00pm to go to his house. I'm still completely fine at this point. We get there and I spend like five minutes gaping at his mansion of a house before walking in and meeting his parents. They were really nice and welcoming.
Then the pain started. At first I felt it in my stomach and prayed to god it would pass. This lasted around 20 minutes and it was in waves. We were eating at this point. I'm fidgety, nervous, and just not myself. Another five minutes in and I start to sweat and feel extremely nauseous. I pretty much feel screwed at this point but I'm too nervous to just leap up from the table and ask where the bathroom is. His parents are still asking me questions and being really nice and I'm just grimacing and sweating. I don't touch my food and my boyfriend notices and puts his hand on my leg underneath the table and asks if I'm feeling okay. His parents shut up and all eyes are on me. I tell them that I was feeling a bit faint and asked if I could use the bathroom. I'm trying super hard not to throw up at this point. My boyfriend's mom asks him to show me the bathroom and I basically grab onto his arm and throw his a desperate look. I cover my mouth with my hand and at this point I think he gets the memo and jogs me to a bathroom down the hall. You know how right before you're for sure gonna throw up, your mouth starts to water? That happened as I was running to the bathroom. I didn't even make it to the toilet. I threw up in their marble sink.
My boyfriend was like, "Oh poo poo" and grabbed my hair. I think his parents heard and BOTH of them came rushing over to see. His mom literally said, "Ohhhhh my gosh honey!" Tbh, I just wanted to die on the spot. So I finish throwing up and I immediately burst into tears and start apologizing profusely to his parents. They told me that it was okay and asked me if they needed to take me to a hospital (I said no). I told them that I could clean it for them and they were like "no no we got it". I kept apologizing and it went back and forth for a bit. His dad went and grabbed me a new toothbrush and some toothpaste and some water. They took me to a separate bathroom and waited for me to clean up. Then his dad drove me and my boyfriend back to my place. I apologized for a final time and went home and threw up again. Now I've been in bed for the past three hours, mortified to no end. My boyfriend's called me like three times and texted but I can't bring myself to face him or his family.
What can I do at this point? Write an apology to his parents? I feel like they 100% no doubt hate me now. I just met them and I threw up all over their sink, ruined the dinner that his mom had prepared (it was a really lavish meal and I couldn't eat any of it), and I cried. I feel like they're gonna tell him to break up with me. My boyfriend probably even wants to break up with me at this point. How do I even begin to fix this??
Tl;Dr: I got food poisoning and threw up in my boyfriend's sink with his parents watching. It was the first time that I met them. We couldn't even finish dinner. I just want to crawl into a hole.
drat find a new restaurant if you keep getting food poisioning. Also, eat puke on the rich.
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Sep 23, 2018 22:36
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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I (17f) threw up in front of my boyfriend's (17m) parents who I just met for the first time.
drat find a new restaurant if you keep getting food poisioning. Also, eat puke on the rich.
better not check my boyfriend's texts before assuming the worst and spending an hour writing a dramatic reddit post.
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Sep 23, 2018 23:36
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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Just pretend everything is bolded.
My [27F] husband [50M] of three years said something truly horrible to me five days ago. I have accepted his apology and forgiven him, but I can feel myself withdrawing from him.
quote:
My husband and I have been together for almost five years, and married for three. I coparent his two children, now 17 and 20, and although we share custody of them with their mother, we have had sole custody of them for the past two and a half years as a result of their mother taking a job overseas.
My husband had this habit when we first got together of putting his foot in his mouth, and would say very mean and hurtful things in such a flippant manner that it would bring me to tears. This problem was a distant memory to me until five days ago however, as he has worked actively on being a more engaged and supportive partner with great success.
The other night was like any other night in at home; we were settling in after dinner to watch a movie, and I had just made our first and only round of cocktails. I was sitting down from handing him the cocktail when my husband said out of the blue, “You know, you would make a bad mother because you lack compassion.” I instantly burst into tears, and couldn’t even look at him. He said “that came out wrong” and looked remorseful, but didn’t console me.
He really couldn’t have said anything more hurtful; we don’t have plans to have children of our own, but I do take pride in having helped raise his kids for the past five years, two and a half of which without the additional assistance of their biological mother. I would understand where he was coming from if I had committed some sort of obvious error in my parenting approach, but when I asked him, he couldn’t think of any specific example. It made me feel used, devalued, and most of all confused.
He left me in the living room shortly after and went to bed, and I spent the next couple hours crying on and off. When I did finally go to bed, I found him still awake and sobbing, obviously as a result of the hurtful thing he had said to me. I spent the next hour consoling him and listening to him say over and over how sorry he was, and how confused he was on where this remark came from. He’s always been the more emotionally vulnerable one of the two of us, but I couldn’t help but feel neglected that he was the one that needed consoling after being in the wrong.
I have decided to forgive him and move on, but I still have feelings of anger and sadness as a result not only of the hurtful remark, but that he is unable to provide any reasoning for saying such a thing. I still love him of course, but this has created a slight fracture in our marriage, and I’m fighting feelings of withdrawal and distance. I also have had no desire to be intimate with him. How do I move on from this hurtful remark?
TL;DR: Husband of 3 years says something mean and hurtful and apologizes, but I’m still feeling terrible over it. How do I move on from this setback in our marriage and learn to trust him again?
LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Sep 23, 2018
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Sep 23, 2018 23:37
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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Just Preston’s everything is bolded.
My [27F] husband [50M] of three years said something truly horrible to me five days ago. I have accepted his apology and forgiven him, but I can feel myself withdrawing from him.
Who the gently caress is Just Preston?!
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Sep 23, 2018 23:38
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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Who the gently caress is Just Preston?!
It's a typo. It should read "Justin Preston," author of the hip typography manual "Bold Anything"
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Sep 23, 2018 23:42
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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It's a typo. It should read "Justin Preston," author of the hip typography manual "Bold Anything"
Oh! That makes more sense!
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Sep 23, 2018 23:52
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Just pretend everything is bolded.
My [27F] husband [50M] of three years said something truly horrible to me five days ago. I have accepted his apology and forgiven him, but I can feel myself withdrawing from him.
honestly she was 22 when they started dating and pushing 30 now so at some point you sorta lose any empathy for people who get themselves into this sorta situation. Dude's obviously an abusive manchild but why was she dating him in the first place, 22 is old enough to have been through college and have seen your 19 year old friends make the same mistake with a better excuse.
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Sep 23, 2018 23:56
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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honestly she was 22 when they started dating and pushing 30 now so at some point you sorta lose any empathy for people who get themselves into this sorta situation. Dude's obviously an abusive manchild but why was she dating him in the first place, 22 is old enough to have been through college and have seen your 19 year old friends make the same mistake with a better excuse.
Honestly, these age gap idiots deserve everything they get.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:28
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- lol but
- Feb 24, 2007
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body is a dinosaur
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Slippery Tilde
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I'm sure the 15 year old and the 12 year old just loved a 22 year old coming in and playing mom.
Honestly, these age gap idiots deserve everything they get.
don't marry any one older than you, poorer than you or of a different gender the gulf betwixt you is too great to bridge IMO
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Sep 24, 2018 00:31
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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don't marry any one older than you, poorer than you or of a different gender the gulf betwixt you is too great to bridge IMO
im going to marry my own butt
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Sep 24, 2018 00:33
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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don't marry any one older than you, poorer than you or of a different gender the gulf betwixt you is too great to bridge IMO
Classmates.com sends me emails once in a while (no, I'm not a member), and it keeps showing me the pictures of a woman I went to high school with. Her husband is like 40 years older than her and it's gross as gently caress. They are in pictures at Disney wearing Mickey Mouse ears and the guy looks more like Mickey from Rocky. It's just really disturbing.
Leon Einstein fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Sep 24, 2018
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Sep 24, 2018 00:33
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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stupid loving children, getting victimized. man. what idiots they are.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:36
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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stupid loving children, getting victimized. man. what idiots they are.
22 is old enough to have graduated college and be in a fulltime career.
Like yeah when we see an 18 year old dating a 30 something i feel bad for them but 22 it's kinda on her.
We ain't gonna convince the creeps to not try to date people their kids age but maybe we can convince people to not date creeps their parent's age I dunno.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:37
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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stupid loving children, getting victimized. man. what idiots they are.
22 year olds aren't children.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:38
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Like if you saw your 22 year old friend getting sucked in by a mlm would you shake your fist and go "drat them preying on our children" or would you think your friend is being an idiot.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:40
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Like if you saw your 22 year old friend getting sucked in by a mlm would you shake your fist and go "drat them preying on our children" or would you think your friend is being an idiot.
uh the former, extremely.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:41
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- burial
- Sep 13, 2002
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actually, that won't be necessary.
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Just pretend everything is bolded.
My [27F] husband [50M] of three years said something truly horrible to me five days ago. I have accepted his apology and forgiven him, but I can feel myself withdrawing from him.
I was really expecting the hurtful comment to be something about how she acts more like a child than his own kids/some other slam on her maturity that would simultaneously be a self-slam. Alas.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:42
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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uh the former, extremely.
comeon pick you post here, you can't pretend you're not extremely judgmental about people making bad choices.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 25, 2024 11:28
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- Elissimpark
- May 20, 2010
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Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.
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don't marry any one older than you, poorer than you or of a different gender the gulf betwixt you is too great to bridge IMO
im going to marry my own butt
https://youtu.be/3axSo6o9dvY
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Sep 24, 2018 00:48
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Sep 23, 2018 20:36
