Succzone: If they take away your vote, there's only one way to take it back: VOTE

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readingatwork: Jan 8, 2009; Hello Fatty!; Fun Shoe

Holy poo poo Aza I didn�t think you had it in you. :golfclap:

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:36

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:28

Phi230: Feb 2, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

so is gillum a wolf in sheeps clothing or

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:38

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

readingatwork posted:

Holy poo poo Aza I didn’t think you had it in you.

I've done a bit of reflecting (not too much though), and I've been a pompous rear end way too much on here lately and hopefully this is at least a bit of penance. I'll write the rest before the deadline then slink away from this thread and not bother you all again.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:41

Iron Twinkie: Apr 20, 2001; BOOP

theCalamity posted:

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1050374494316097536?s=21

Once we prove to the world that Donald Trump is not a really a rich person the peasants will be practically falling out of their hovels, lean-tos, and orchuts to vote for us :downs:

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:42

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

i just realized the tax return thing is so they can link him to russia lmao

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:43

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Even if they refuse to commit to an impeachment of Kavenaugh she could at least say something like "If we take the majority our expanded powers as committee chairs will allow us to bring to light the information that the republicans have been hiding and if there is anything there we'll pursue it" or something along those lines if she's terrified of giving republicans a soundbyte.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:43

Martin Random: Jul 18, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

the congress can strip the supreme court of almost all of its jurisdictional authority with a simple majority

the rest is self-referential jurisprudence and has no constitutional basis

remember that

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:46

AnimeIsTrash: Jun 30, 2018

Azathoth posted:

Here's part 1. I know I overuse union stuff in here, but eh, Greeks were big on their appellations and that's the easy way out for me. Also gonna cop to plagiarizing the Odyssey, because I couldn't write a limerick if I tried, let alone an epic poem, I have that little sense of rhythm or meter. If that's not in the spirit of the challenge, maybe I could write a series of haikus about how much i suck or whatever.

Tell me, great muse, of that industrious worker, who campaigned far and wide after he challenged the mighty legislator of Western Springs. Many union halls did he visit, and many were the potlucks whose casseroles he did consume. Moreover, he suffered much by indigestion while trying to grab a quick bite between house parties while trying to bring victory to his fellow travellers down ticket, but do what he might, he could not bring them victory in their own primaries, for they perished through their own sheer folly in quoting the saged wisdom of the worker-god Marx, so the establishment prevented them from winning by calling them "reds" and "communists". Tell me, too, about all these things O daughter of Kovno, from whatosever source you may know them.

So now all who escaped defeat in debate or by intemperate social media post had gone on to raise the necessary signatures to get on the primary ballot, except Odie, and he, though he was determined to have his name on the ballot against the hated Daniel, he was detained by his local DSA chapter's monthly meeting, who had gotten into a debate over whether police organizers are truly comrades and threatened to derail the whole organization. But, as the hours went by, there came a time when the debate was settled, and it was determined that the should all go out to Burbank and finish gathering the necessary signatures to place Odie on the ballot; even then, however, when he was among his own people, his troubles were not yet over; neverthless all the organizers had now begun to support him except the mustachioed Daniel, who still shouted at him without ceasing and would not let him adjourn the meeting.

Now, Daniel had gone off to the Cleatuses for dinner, who are at the district's end, and politic in two halves, one on the left and the other on the right. He had gone there to accept an in-kind contribution of donuts and gasolene, and was enjoying himself at the dinner, but the other organizers met at the house of Carl, one of the the steering committee members, and it is this sage who spoke first. At that moment, he was thinking of Eugene Debs, who had been jailed by President Grover Cleveland, so he said to the other members of the steering committee:

"See now, how comrades lay blame upon us steering committee members for what is after all nothing but their own folly. Look at Debs; he must needs fight for the worker righteonsly and then resist the draft, though he knew it would be the jail for him; for I sent him a letter to warn him not to do these things, inasmuch as Wilson would be sure to take his revenge. The letter told him this in all good will but he would not listen, and now he has paid for everything in full."

Then Frederick said, "Carl, son of Henry, first among equals, it served Debs right, and so it would any one else who does as he did, but Debs is neither here nor there; it is for Odie that my heart bleeds, when I think of his sufferings in that gerrymandered district, on the campaign trail, poor man, away from all his friends. It is a district covered with liberals, in the very middle of the suburbs, and an organizer lives there, son of the union president, who looks after the very depths of the police state, and maintains the very inequality that keeps white supremacy the law. This son of the union president has begun debating poor unhappy Odie, and keeps trying by every kind of blandistment to make him forget his principles, so that he is tired of campaigning, and thinks of nothing but how he may once more see the study of his own well-stocked library. You, sir, take no heed of this, and yet when Odie was considering a run for office, did he not partake with you many a burnt sacrifice? Why then should you keep on being so angry with him?"

And Carl said, "My comrade, what are you talking about? How can I forget Odie than whom there is no more capable candidate on earth, no more tireless a fighter for his fellow worker? Bear in mind, however, that Daniel is still furious with Odie for having authored a resolution to begin the proceedings to take a vote of no confidence in Daniel's leadership. Daniel is son to the union president by the venerable Doris, daughter to the treasurer of the pension fund; therefore he will not denounce Odie outright, he torments him by preventing him from ending debate and going out to collect signatures to get on the ballot. Still, let us lay our heads together and see how we can help him to get on the ballot, then the union president will be pacified, for if we are all of a mind he can hardly stand out against us."

And Frederick said, "My comrade, son of Henry, first among equals, if, then, the gods now mean that Odie should get the signatures to get on the ballot, we should first send Leonard to the Kinkos in Romeoville to print the necessary forms that we can complete to get on the ballot. In the meantime, I will go to Hodgkins, to put heart into Odie's comrades at the DSA; I will embolden them to organize a canvassing event, and speak to the citizens of their district, who persist in supporting such a terrible person; I will also conduct them to Lockport and to Crest Hill, to talk with undecided primary voters- for this will make people speak well of him."

So saying that he railed on about how police officers are truly the very embodiment of the working class, indispensible, with which they can reform the carcerial state; he grasped at his instagram account, wherewith he posts thin blue line memes and quells the ranks of his comrades with talk of solidarity, and down from the podium of the union hall, whereon forthwith he was in debate, at the gateway of the door to the kitchen, disguided as a comrade, Gerald, vice chair of the pipefitters's union, held a poorly copied leaflet in his hand. There he found the assembled comrades seated on chairs of steel which they had set up from the storage closet, and discussing the results of the last football game. Organizers and campaign workers were bustling about to talk with them, some imploring them to support their candidates, some handing out business cards, some trying to organize a fundraiser, and some trying to check their fantasy football teams on their phones.

Joey saw him long before anyone else did. He was sitting moodily among the lanyard wearing workers, thinking about Odie, and how he would eject them all from the union hall, if he were to give a rousing speech and be honored as in last year's annual meeting. Thus brooding as he sat among them, he caught sight of Gerald and went straight for the door, for he was vexed that a comrade should be kept waiting for admittance. He seized him by the shoulder in a gesture of cameraderie, and asked for a leaflet. "Welcome," said he, "to our union hall, and when you have partaken of our coffee you shall tell us what you have come for."

He led the way as he spoke, and Gerald followed him. When they were within, he took the pamphlet and pinned it to the bulletin board against a load bearing beam, along with many of the other pamphelts of his comrades, and he conducted him to the high podium on which he placed a banner of felt. There was a footstool also, for Gerald was a short man, and he bade him stand on the stool, so that they might look each other eye to eye, and not be annoyed while the others were conversing, and that he might ask him more freely about Odie.

A lanyarded boy of barely 18 brought them a pamphet, beautifully printed in a union shop and handed a copy to each of them. A fellow comrade brought them styrofoam cups of black coffee, and bade him drink, for there was a large urn full of the drink, dark and impossibly hot.

Then the meeting was called to order, so the men and women took their places on their benches and seats. Forthwith minutes of the last meeting were read by the secretary, reports were delivered by the treasurer and the committee chairs, and all manner of handouts were delivered. At the new business section, and extended discussion was had by all over the progress of the contract negotiations. As the members voiced their displeasure and what they wanted, Gerald leaned in to Joey so that no one could hear them over the heated discussion.

"I hope, sir," said he, "that you will not be offended with what I am going to say. Campaigning comes cheap to those who do not pay for it, and all this is done at the cost of one whose ethics lie rotting in some smoky back room or grinding to nothing in the thinktank. If these men were to see my comrade come back to Western Springs, they would pray for longer allotted speaking time rather than a longer warchest, for money would not serve them; but he, alas, has fallen on an ill fate, and even when people do sometimes say that he is coming, we no longer heed them; we shall never see him again. And now, sir, tell me and tell me true, who you are and where you come from. Tell me of your education and mentors, what manner of vehicle you came in, how your staffers brought you to Western Springs, and of what ideology they declared themselves to be- for you cannot have come by public transit. Tell me also truly, for I want to know, are you a stranger to this union hall, or have you been here in my comrades's time? In the old days we had many visitors for my comrade went about much himself."

And Gerald answered, "I will tell you truly and particularly all about it. I am Gerald, son of the treasurer of the pension fun, and I am vice chair of the pipefitters's union. I have come here with my brothers and sisters, on a mission to men of another ideology being bound for the beltway with a hefty donation, and I shall bring back favors. As for my vehicle, it lies over yonder many blocks distant, away from the union hall, in the parking lot of the Safeway under the faded glow of a neon sign. Our fathers were friends before us, as old Elmer will tell you, if you will go and ask him. They say, however, that he never comes to the union hall now, and lives by himself in the country, faring hardly, with an old woman to look after him and get his dinner for him, when he comes in tired from puttering about his shop. They told me your comrade was going to speak again, and that was why I came, but it seems meeting agenda is still keeping him back, for he has not yet achieved consensus yet not in the DSA. It is more likely he is on some tangental topic, or fighting a resolution among centrists who are delaying him against his will I am no prophet and know little about parlaimentary procedure, but I speak as it is known to me from previous monthly meetings, and assure you he will not be away much longer; for he is a man of such resource that even though he were in the midst of a vote to close debate on an amendment to a resolution to open debate on the next meeting item, he would find some means of achieving consensus and arriving here to speak. But tell me, and tell me true, can Odie really have such a fine looking fellow for a comrade? You are indeed wonderfully like him about the head and eyes, for we were close comrades before he left for the meeting where the staunchest of workers went also. Since that time, we have never either of us seen the other."

"My mentor," answered Telemachus, "tells me I am like a son to Odie, but it is a wise child that knows his own father. Would that I were son to one who had grown rich upon his own comrades, for, since you ask me, there is no more class traitor than he who they tell me is my father."

And Gerald said, "There is no fear of your class losing awareness yet, while your fellows have such a fine comrade as you are. But tell me, and tell me true, what is the meaning of all this bloviating, and who are these people? What is it all about? Have you some election, or is there a fundraiser- for no one seems to be bringing any donuts of their own? And the guests- how atrociously they are behaving; what riot they make over the whole hall; it is enough to disgust any respectable person who comes near them."

"Sir," said Joey, "as regards your question, so long as my comrade was here it was well with us and with the union, but the comrades in their displeasure have willed it otherwise, and have tied him up in parlaimentary procedure more tightly than any committee chair I know. I could have borne it better even though he were retired, if he had dropped out of the election, or had moved out of the district with his union after the organizing was done; for then the establishment would have gloated in their smoky back rooms, and I should myself have been heir to his renown; but now the infighting has kept him away we know not wither; he is gone without leaving so much as a trace behind him, and I have nothing but dismay. Nor does the matter end simply with grief for the loss of my comrade; the establishment has laid sorrows upon me of yet another kind; for the heads from all our local party units, Lamont, Worth, and the gated community of Chicago Heights, as also all the principal men of the district itself, are betraying my comrades under the pretext of representing them, who will neither point blank say that she will primary them, nor yet not vote for them; so they are making havoc of my district, and before long will do so also with myself."

"Is that so?" exclaimed Minerva, "then you do indeed want Odie here again. Give him his social media, volunteers, and a couple cell phones, and if he is the man he was when I first knew him in our union, organizing and building relationships, he would soon lay his hands about these rascally lanyards, were he to stand once more upon his own threshold. He was then coming from Chicago, where he had been to ask support for his campaign from Carl, son of Ray. Carl feared the ever-present establishment and would not give him any support, but my father let him have some, for he was very fond of him. If Odie is the man he then was these lanyards will have a short campaign and a sorry election.

"But there! It rests with fate to determine whether he is to return, and take his revenge in his own district or no; I would, however, urge you to set about trying to get rid of these lanyards at once. Take my advice, call the corades in assembly tomorrow -lay your case before them, and call Twitter and Facebook to bear you witness. Bid the lanyards gently caress off, each to his own campaign, and if your comrades' minds are set on electing centrists again, let them go back to their home districts, who will happily elect establishment centrists and provide them with all the lack of support that such loyalty rewards. As for yourself, let me prevail upon you to make the best outreach you can, with a crew of twenty comrades, and go in quest of your comrade who has so long been absent. Some one may tell you something, or (and people often hear things in this way) some data driven message may direct you. First go to Romeoville and ask Benjamin; thence go on to Cott's Corner and visit Dave, for he got home last of all the comrades; if you hear that your comrade is a viable candidate, you can put up with the waste these lanyards will make for yet another twelve months. If on the other hand you hear of lack of viability, come back at once, celebrate his noble effort with all due pomp, build a Facebook page to his memory, and make your constituents vote again. Then, having done all this, think it well over in your mind how, by fair means or foul, you may eject these lanyards in your own district. You are too old to plead infancy any longer; have you not heard how people are singing Debs' praises for having resisted the draft? You are a fine, smart looking fellow; show your mettle, then, and make yourself a name in story. Now, however, I must go back to my car and to my staff, who will be impatient if I keep them waiting longer; think the matter over for yourself, and remember what I have said to you."

"Sir," answered Joey, "it has been very kind of you to talk to me in this way, as though I were your own comrade, and I will do all you tell me; I know you want to be getting on with your drive, but stay a little longer till you have finished your coffee. I will then give you a present, and you shall go on your way rejoicing; I will give you one of great beauty and value- a keepsake such as only dear comrades give to one another."

Gerald answered, "Do not try to keep me, for I would be on my way at once. As for any present you may be disposed to make me, keep it till I come again, and I will take it home with me. You shall give me a very good one, and I will give you one of no less value in return."

With these words he slipped away like a thief in the night, but he had given Joey courage, and had made him think more than ever about his comrade. He felt the change, wondered at it, and knew that the stranger had been a comrade, so he went straight to where the lanyards were sitting.

Sarah was still speaking and her audience sat rapt in silence as she told the sad tale of her unsuccessful campaign for town council, and the ills the establishment had laid upon her and her comrades. Daphne, daughter of Audrey, heard her speech from her adjoining meeting room, and came over by the great hallway, not alone, but attended by two of her comrades. When she reached the lanyards, she stood by one of the bearing posts that supported the roof of the hall with a stoic comrade on either side of her. She held a hardhat, moreover, before her face, and was weeping bitterly.

"Sarah," she cried, "you know many another successful campaigns, such as thinkpieces love to celebrate. Tell the lanyards some one of these, and let them drink their coffee in silence, but cease this sad tale, for it breaks my sorrowful heart, and reminds me of Bernie's 2016 campaign which I mourn ever without ceasing, and whose name was great over all flyover country and the coastal districts."

"Daphne," answered Joey, "let the organizer speak of what she has a mind to; organizers do not make the ills they speak of; it is the establishment, not they, who makes them, and who sends hatchet job mailer or attack ad upon constituents according to their own good pleasure. This comrade means no harm by tell the ill-fated betrayal of the donor class, for people always applaud the latest news most warmly. Make up your mind to it and bear it; Odie is not the only person who has run for office, but many another went down as well as he. Go, then, within the hall and busy yourself with your phone banking, your social media posts, your constituent mailers, and the ordering of your lawn signs; for speech is comrade's matter, and mine above all others- for it is the worker who is master here."

She went wondering back into the meeting room, and laid her comrade's saying in her heart. Then, talking with her friends, she mourned Sarah's betrayal by the establishment till she went home. But the lanyards were clamorous throughout the meeting rooms, and prayed each one that he might secure her vote.

Then Joey spoke, "Shameless," he cried, "and insolent lanyards, let us speak at our pleasure now, and let there be no bickering, for it is a rare thing to hear one with such a powerful as Sarah has; but in an hour meet me in full assembly that I may give you formal notice to depart, and campaign elsewhere, turn and turn about, at your own cost. If on the other hand you choose to persist in campaigning here, heaven help me, but the teamsters shall reckon with you in full, and when you fall in my comrade's house there shall be no man to avenge you."

The lanyards bit their lips as they heard him, and marvelled at the boldness of his speech. Then, Charles, son of Abe, said, "The workers seem to have given you lessons in bluster and tall talking; may the establishment never grant you to be nominated as your friend was before you."

Joey answered, "Charles, do not chide with me, but, god willing, I will be nominee too if I can. Is this the worst fate you can think of for your constituents? It is no bad thing to be a nominee, for it brings both riches and honour. Still, now that Odie is dead there are many great men in Cook both old and young, and some other may take the lead among them; nevertheless I will be endorsed in my own union hall, and will lead those whom Odie has won for me."

Then Nancy, daughter of Nancy, answered, "It rests with the establishment to decide who shall be our nominee, but you shall be president in your own hall and over your own members; no one while we are here shall speak negatively about you or malign your record. And now, my good fellow, I want to know about this friend of yours. What party does he belong to? Of what political family is he, and where is his ancestral estate? Has he brought you news of your candidate, or was he on business of his own? He seemed a well-to-do man, but he hurried off so suddenly that he was gone in a moment before we could ask him for a donation."

"My comrade will not attend," answered Joey, "and even if some text reaches me I put no more faith in it now. My friend does indeed sometimes send a text and question him, but I give his pleadings that "we're just wrapping up" no heed. As for the stranger, that was Gerald, and old friend of my father's", but in his heart, he knew that he was a comrade.

The lanyards then returned to their gladhanding and ratfucking until the evening; but when night fell upon their ratfucking, they went home to bed each in his own abode. Joey's house was high up in an apartment tower that looked on to a town park; hither, then, he hied, brooding and full of thought. A good old woman, Dorothy, daughter of Anne, the son of Reuben, went before him with a handful of pamphlets on universal basic income. Carl had paid a local shop to print them with his own money long ago; he gave the worth of twenty small dollar donations, and shewed as much respect to her in his organization as he did to his own steering committee members, but he did not take her to organizational leadership, for he feared his comrade's resentment. She it was who now followed Joey to his house, and she loved him better than any of the other women in the house did, for she had read Marx him when he was a baby. He opened the door of his house and sat down upon the couch; as he took off his shoes, she told him to put them away properly, because he doesn't live in a barn, after which she went out, put pamphets in the doors of all her neighbor's homes, and talked with many about Odie's candidacy. But Joey as he lay covered with a woollen fleece made locally by one of his friends kept thinking all night through of his canvassing inspiration that Gerald had given him.

This is a McDonalds drive thru.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 17:54

The Muppets On PCP: Nov 13, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Azathoth posted:

I've done a bit of reflecting (not too much though), and I've been a pompous rear end way too much on here lately and hopefully this is at least a bit of penance. I'll write the rest before the deadline then slink away from this thread and not bother you all again.

you should stick around and be born anew in the waters of lake minnesucca, ready to face the world with fresh eyes and a newly wrinkled brain

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:01

joepinetree: Apr 5, 2012

So even Marine Le Pen has made a statement condemning the outright fascist candidate in the Brazilian elections. But none of the establishment democrats who love to talk about Venezuela or Honduras (or even Marine le Pen, like Obama) have said jack poo poo about it.
Not that I am clamoring for more US interference in Latin American politics, but it is just a very clarifying contrast when Democrats will go out of their way to make statements about Venezuela, Cuba or Nicaragua, and who feel Le Pen is such a threat to France they endorse Macron, but are suddenly quiet when there is an avowed fascist (who just happens to be the favorite candidate of wall street) in an election.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:02

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

Azathoth posted:

Here's part 1. I know I overuse union stuff in here, but eh, Greeks were big on their appellations and that's the easy way out for me. Also gonna cop to plagiarizing the Odyssey, because I couldn't write a limerick if I tried, let alone an epic poem, I have that little sense of rhythm or meter. If that's not in the spirit of the challenge, maybe I could write a series of haikus about how much i suck or whatever.

Tell me, great muse, of that industrious worker, who campaigned far and wide after he challenged the mighty legislator of Western Springs. Many union halls did he visit, and many were the potlucks whose casseroles he did consume. Moreover, he suffered much by indigestion while trying to grab a quick bite between house parties while trying to bring victory to his fellow travellers down ticket, but do what he might, he could not bring them victory in their own primaries, for they perished through their own sheer folly in quoting the saged wisdom of the worker-god Marx, so the establishment prevented them from winning by calling them "reds" and "communists". Tell me, too, about all these things O daughter of Kovno, from whatosever source you may know them.

So now all who escaped defeat in debate or by intemperate social media post had gone on to raise the necessary signatures to get on the primary ballot, except Odie, and he, though he was determined to have his name on the ballot against the hated Daniel, he was detained by his local DSA chapter's monthly meeting, who had gotten into a debate over whether police organizers are truly comrades and threatened to derail the whole organization. But, as the hours went by, there came a time when the debate was settled, and it was determined that the should all go out to Burbank and finish gathering the necessary signatures to place Odie on the ballot; even then, however, when he was among his own people, his troubles were not yet over; neverthless all the organizers had now begun to support him except the mustachioed Daniel, who still shouted at him without ceasing and would not let him adjourn the meeting.

Now, Daniel had gone off to the Cleatuses for dinner, who are at the district's end, and politic in two halves, one on the left and the other on the right. He had gone there to accept an in-kind contribution of donuts and gasolene, and was enjoying himself at the dinner, but the other organizers met at the house of Carl, one of the the steering committee members, and it is this sage who spoke first. At that moment, he was thinking of Eugene Debs, who had been jailed by President Grover Cleveland, so he said to the other members of the steering committee:

"See now, how comrades lay blame upon us steering committee members for what is after all nothing but their own folly. Look at Debs; he must needs fight for the worker righteonsly and then resist the draft, though he knew it would be the jail for him; for I sent him a letter to warn him not to do these things, inasmuch as Wilson would be sure to take his revenge. The letter told him this in all good will but he would not listen, and now he has paid for everything in full."

Then Frederick said, "Carl, son of Henry, first among equals, it served Debs right, and so it would any one else who does as he did, but Debs is neither here nor there; it is for Odie that my heart bleeds, when I think of his sufferings in that gerrymandered district, on the campaign trail, poor man, away from all his friends. It is a district covered with liberals, in the very middle of the suburbs, and an organizer lives there, son of the union president, who looks after the very depths of the police state, and maintains the very inequality that keeps white supremacy the law. This son of the union president has begun debating poor unhappy Odie, and keeps trying by every kind of blandistment to make him forget his principles, so that he is tired of campaigning, and thinks of nothing but how he may once more see the study of his own well-stocked library. You, sir, take no heed of this, and yet when Odie was considering a run for office, did he not partake with you many a burnt sacrifice? Why then should you keep on being so angry with him?"

And Carl said, "My comrade, what are you talking about? How can I forget Odie than whom there is no more capable candidate on earth, no more tireless a fighter for his fellow worker? Bear in mind, however, that Daniel is still furious with Odie for having authored a resolution to begin the proceedings to take a vote of no confidence in Daniel's leadership. Daniel is son to the union president by the venerable Doris, daughter to the treasurer of the pension fund; therefore he will not denounce Odie outright, he torments him by preventing him from ending debate and going out to collect signatures to get on the ballot. Still, let us lay our heads together and see how we can help him to get on the ballot, then the union president will be pacified, for if we are all of a mind he can hardly stand out against us."

And Frederick said, "My comrade, son of Henry, first among equals, if, then, the gods now mean that Odie should get the signatures to get on the ballot, we should first send Leonard to the Kinkos in Romeoville to print the necessary forms that we can complete to get on the ballot. In the meantime, I will go to Hodgkins, to put heart into Odie's comrades at the DSA; I will embolden them to organize a canvassing event, and speak to the citizens of their district, who persist in supporting such a terrible person; I will also conduct them to Lockport and to Crest Hill, to talk with undecided primary voters- for this will make people speak well of him."

So saying that he railed on about how police officers are truly the very embodiment of the working class, indispensible, with which they can reform the carcerial state; he grasped at his instagram account, wherewith he posts thin blue line memes and quells the ranks of his comrades with talk of solidarity, and down from the podium of the union hall, whereon forthwith he was in debate, at the gateway of the door to the kitchen, disguided as a comrade, Gerald, vice chair of the pipefitters's union, held a poorly copied leaflet in his hand. There he found the assembled comrades seated on chairs of steel which they had set up from the storage closet, and discussing the results of the last football game. Organizers and campaign workers were bustling about to talk with them, some imploring them to support their candidates, some handing out business cards, some trying to organize a fundraiser, and some trying to check their fantasy football teams on their phones.

Joey saw him long before anyone else did. He was sitting moodily among the lanyard wearing workers, thinking about Odie, and how he would eject them all from the union hall, if he were to give a rousing speech and be honored as in last year's annual meeting. Thus brooding as he sat among them, he caught sight of Gerald and went straight for the door, for he was vexed that a comrade should be kept waiting for admittance. He seized him by the shoulder in a gesture of cameraderie, and asked for a leaflet. "Welcome," said he, "to our union hall, and when you have partaken of our coffee you shall tell us what you have come for."

He led the way as he spoke, and Gerald followed him. When they were within, he took the pamphlet and pinned it to the bulletin board against a load bearing beam, along with many of the other pamphelts of his comrades, and he conducted him to the high podium on which he placed a banner of felt. There was a footstool also, for Gerald was a short man, and he bade him stand on the stool, so that they might look each other eye to eye, and not be annoyed while the others were conversing, and that he might ask him more freely about Odie.

A lanyarded boy of barely 18 brought them a pamphet, beautifully printed in a union shop and handed a copy to each of them. A fellow comrade brought them styrofoam cups of black coffee, and bade him drink, for there was a large urn full of the drink, dark and impossibly hot.

Then the meeting was called to order, so the men and women took their places on their benches and seats. Forthwith minutes of the last meeting were read by the secretary, reports were delivered by the treasurer and the committee chairs, and all manner of handouts were delivered. At the new business section, and extended discussion was had by all over the progress of the contract negotiations. As the members voiced their displeasure and what they wanted, Gerald leaned in to Joey so that no one could hear them over the heated discussion.

"I hope, sir," said he, "that you will not be offended with what I am going to say. Campaigning comes cheap to those who do not pay for it, and all this is done at the cost of one whose ethics lie rotting in some smoky back room or grinding to nothing in the thinktank. If these men were to see my comrade come back to Western Springs, they would pray for longer allotted speaking time rather than a longer warchest, for money would not serve them; but he, alas, has fallen on an ill fate, and even when people do sometimes say that he is coming, we no longer heed them; we shall never see him again. And now, sir, tell me and tell me true, who you are and where you come from. Tell me of your education and mentors, what manner of vehicle you came in, how your staffers brought you to Western Springs, and of what ideology they declared themselves to be- for you cannot have come by public transit. Tell me also truly, for I want to know, are you a stranger to this union hall, or have you been here in my comrades's time? In the old days we had many visitors for my comrade went about much himself."

And Gerald answered, "I will tell you truly and particularly all about it. I am Gerald, son of the treasurer of the pension fun, and I am vice chair of the pipefitters's union. I have come here with my brothers and sisters, on a mission to men of another ideology being bound for the beltway with a hefty donation, and I shall bring back favors. As for my vehicle, it lies over yonder many blocks distant, away from the union hall, in the parking lot of the Safeway under the faded glow of a neon sign. Our fathers were friends before us, as old Elmer will tell you, if you will go and ask him. They say, however, that he never comes to the union hall now, and lives by himself in the country, faring hardly, with an old woman to look after him and get his dinner for him, when he comes in tired from puttering about his shop. They told me your comrade was going to speak again, and that was why I came, but it seems meeting agenda is still keeping him back, for he has not yet achieved consensus yet not in the DSA. It is more likely he is on some tangental topic, or fighting a resolution among centrists who are delaying him against his will I am no prophet and know little about parlaimentary procedure, but I speak as it is known to me from previous monthly meetings, and assure you he will not be away much longer; for he is a man of such resource that even though he were in the midst of a vote to close debate on an amendment to a resolution to open debate on the next meeting item, he would find some means of achieving consensus and arriving here to speak. But tell me, and tell me true, can Odie really have such a fine looking fellow for a comrade? You are indeed wonderfully like him about the head and eyes, for we were close comrades before he left for the meeting where the staunchest of workers went also. Since that time, we have never either of us seen the other."

"My mentor," answered Telemachus, "tells me I am like a son to Odie, but it is a wise child that knows his own father. Would that I were son to one who had grown rich upon his own comrades, for, since you ask me, there is no more class traitor than he who they tell me is my father."

And Gerald said, "There is no fear of your class losing awareness yet, while your fellows have such a fine comrade as you are. But tell me, and tell me true, what is the meaning of all this bloviating, and who are these people? What is it all about? Have you some election, or is there a fundraiser- for no one seems to be bringing any donuts of their own? And the guests- how atrociously they are behaving; what riot they make over the whole hall; it is enough to disgust any respectable person who comes near them."

"Sir," said Joey, "as regards your question, so long as my comrade was here it was well with us and with the union, but the comrades in their displeasure have willed it otherwise, and have tied him up in parlaimentary procedure more tightly than any committee chair I know. I could have borne it better even though he were retired, if he had dropped out of the election, or had moved out of the district with his union after the organizing was done; for then the establishment would have gloated in their smoky back rooms, and I should myself have been heir to his renown; but now the infighting has kept him away we know not wither; he is gone without leaving so much as a trace behind him, and I have nothing but dismay. Nor does the matter end simply with grief for the loss of my comrade; the establishment has laid sorrows upon me of yet another kind; for the heads from all our local party units, Lamont, Worth, and the gated community of Chicago Heights, as also all the principal men of the district itself, are betraying my comrades under the pretext of representing them, who will neither point blank say that she will primary them, nor yet not vote for them; so they are making havoc of my district, and before long will do so also with myself."

"Is that so?" exclaimed Minerva, "then you do indeed want Odie here again. Give him his social media, volunteers, and a couple cell phones, and if he is the man he was when I first knew him in our union, organizing and building relationships, he would soon lay his hands about these rascally lanyards, were he to stand once more upon his own threshold. He was then coming from Chicago, where he had been to ask support for his campaign from Carl, son of Ray. Carl feared the ever-present establishment and would not give him any support, but my father let him have some, for he was very fond of him. If Odie is the man he then was these lanyards will have a short campaign and a sorry election.

"But there! It rests with fate to determine whether he is to return, and take his revenge in his own district or no; I would, however, urge you to set about trying to get rid of these lanyards at once. Take my advice, call the corades in assembly tomorrow -lay your case before them, and call Twitter and Facebook to bear you witness. Bid the lanyards gently caress off, each to his own campaign, and if your comrades' minds are set on electing centrists again, let them go back to their home districts, who will happily elect establishment centrists and provide them with all the lack of support that such loyalty rewards. As for yourself, let me prevail upon you to make the best outreach you can, with a crew of twenty comrades, and go in quest of your comrade who has so long been absent. Some one may tell you something, or (and people often hear things in this way) some data driven message may direct you. First go to Romeoville and ask Benjamin; thence go on to Cott's Corner and visit Dave, for he got home last of all the comrades; if you hear that your comrade is a viable candidate, you can put up with the waste these lanyards will make for yet another twelve months. If on the other hand you hear of lack of viability, come back at once, celebrate his noble effort with all due pomp, build a Facebook page to his memory, and make your constituents vote again. Then, having done all this, think it well over in your mind how, by fair means or foul, you may eject these lanyards in your own district. You are too old to plead infancy any longer; have you not heard how people are singing Debs' praises for having resisted the draft? You are a fine, smart looking fellow; show your mettle, then, and make yourself a name in story. Now, however, I must go back to my car and to my staff, who will be impatient if I keep them waiting longer; think the matter over for yourself, and remember what I have said to you."

"Sir," answered Joey, "it has been very kind of you to talk to me in this way, as though I were your own comrade, and I will do all you tell me; I know you want to be getting on with your drive, but stay a little longer till you have finished your coffee. I will then give you a present, and you shall go on your way rejoicing; I will give you one of great beauty and value- a keepsake such as only dear comrades give to one another."

Gerald answered, "Do not try to keep me, for I would be on my way at once. As for any present you may be disposed to make me, keep it till I come again, and I will take it home with me. You shall give me a very good one, and I will give you one of no less value in return."

With these words he slipped away like a thief in the night, but he had given Joey courage, and had made him think more than ever about his comrade. He felt the change, wondered at it, and knew that the stranger had been a comrade, so he went straight to where the lanyards were sitting.

Sarah was still speaking and her audience sat rapt in silence as she told the sad tale of her unsuccessful campaign for town council, and the ills the establishment had laid upon her and her comrades. Daphne, daughter of Audrey, heard her speech from her adjoining meeting room, and came over by the great hallway, not alone, but attended by two of her comrades. When she reached the lanyards, she stood by one of the bearing posts that supported the roof of the hall with a stoic comrade on either side of her. She held a hardhat, moreover, before her face, and was weeping bitterly.

"Sarah," she cried, "you know many another successful campaigns, such as thinkpieces love to celebrate. Tell the lanyards some one of these, and let them drink their coffee in silence, but cease this sad tale, for it breaks my sorrowful heart, and reminds me of Bernie's 2016 campaign which I mourn ever without ceasing, and whose name was great over all flyover country and the coastal districts."

"Daphne," answered Joey, "let the organizer speak of what she has a mind to; organizers do not make the ills they speak of; it is the establishment, not they, who makes them, and who sends hatchet job mailer or attack ad upon constituents according to their own good pleasure. This comrade means no harm by tell the ill-fated betrayal of the donor class, for people always applaud the latest news most warmly. Make up your mind to it and bear it; Odie is not the only person who has run for office, but many another went down as well as he. Go, then, within the hall and busy yourself with your phone banking, your social media posts, your constituent mailers, and the ordering of your lawn signs; for speech is comrade's matter, and mine above all others- for it is the worker who is master here."

She went wondering back into the meeting room, and laid her comrade's saying in her heart. Then, talking with her friends, she mourned Sarah's betrayal by the establishment till she went home. But the lanyards were clamorous throughout the meeting rooms, and prayed each one that he might secure her vote.

Then Joey spoke, "Shameless," he cried, "and insolent lanyards, let us speak at our pleasure now, and let there be no bickering, for it is a rare thing to hear one with such a powerful as Sarah has; but in an hour meet me in full assembly that I may give you formal notice to depart, and campaign elsewhere, turn and turn about, at your own cost. If on the other hand you choose to persist in campaigning here, heaven help me, but the teamsters shall reckon with you in full, and when you fall in my comrade's house there shall be no man to avenge you."

The lanyards bit their lips as they heard him, and marvelled at the boldness of his speech. Then, Charles, son of Abe, said, "The workers seem to have given you lessons in bluster and tall talking; may the establishment never grant you to be nominated as your friend was before you."

Joey answered, "Charles, do not chide with me, but, god willing, I will be nominee too if I can. Is this the worst fate you can think of for your constituents? It is no bad thing to be a nominee, for it brings both riches and honour. Still, now that Odie is dead there are many great men in Cook both old and young, and some other may take the lead among them; nevertheless I will be endorsed in my own union hall, and will lead those whom Odie has won for me."

Then Nancy, daughter of Nancy, answered, "It rests with the establishment to decide who shall be our nominee, but you shall be president in your own hall and over your own members; no one while we are here shall speak negatively about you or malign your record. And now, my good fellow, I want to know about this friend of yours. What party does he belong to? Of what political family is he, and where is his ancestral estate? Has he brought you news of your candidate, or was he on business of his own? He seemed a well-to-do man, but he hurried off so suddenly that he was gone in a moment before we could ask him for a donation."

"My comrade will not attend," answered Joey, "and even if some text reaches me I put no more faith in it now. My friend does indeed sometimes send a text and question him, but I give his pleadings that "we're just wrapping up" no heed. As for the stranger, that was Gerald, and old friend of my father's", but in his heart, he knew that he was a comrade.

The lanyards then returned to their gladhanding and ratfucking until the evening; but when night fell upon their ratfucking, they went home to bed each in his own abode. Joey's house was high up in an apartment tower that looked on to a town park; hither, then, he hied, brooding and full of thought. A good old woman, Dorothy, daughter of Anne, the son of Reuben, went before him with a handful of pamphlets on universal basic income. Carl had paid a local shop to print them with his own money long ago; he gave the worth of twenty small dollar donations, and shewed as much respect to her in his organization as he did to his own steering committee members, but he did not take her to organizational leadership, for he feared his comrade's resentment. She it was who now followed Joey to his house, and she loved him better than any of the other women in the house did, for she had read Marx him when he was a baby. He opened the door of his house and sat down upon the couch; as he took off his shoes, she told him to put them away properly, because he doesn't live in a barn, after which she went out, put pamphets in the doors of all her neighbor's homes, and talked with many about Odie's candidacy. But Joey as he lay covered with a woollen fleece made locally by one of his friends kept thinking all night through of his canvassing inspiration that Gerald had given him.

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:05

Oh Snapple!: Dec 27, 2005

The Muppets On PCP posted:

you should stick around and be born anew in the waters of lake minnesucca, ready to face the world with fresh eyes and a newly wrinkled brain

succ zone: be born anew in the waters of lake minnesucca

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:08

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Well, for starters, you have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnesucka

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:15

Rastor: Jun 2, 2001

Azathoth posted:

I've done a bit of reflecting (not too much though), and I've been a pompous rear end way too much on here lately and hopefully this is at least a bit of penance. I'll write the rest before the deadline then slink away from this thread and not bother you all again.

people are welcome to participate in the thread, but sticking a finger in each ear, shaking your head back and forth, and yelling "nuh uh! nuh uh! nuh uh!" isn't participation

it is, however, the democratic party election strategy

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:16

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

BadOptics posted:

These fuckers lack basic patter recognition. Maybe even object permanence.

They view everything like it's some independent event completely devoid of any context. This is why they get baffled when the left shows any sort of pessimism or skepticism. To them, when a Democrat says they care about the working class or whatever, that is a statement that should be accepted as true by default, and requires extensive proof of that specific politician not only violating that, but having done so with explicitly malicious intent. To assume otherwise means that you're not A Good Person Who Assumes The Best In Others (and, as with all liberals, their ultimate goal is "to be able to perceive themselves as good people"). The default assumption is that literally everything a particular Democrat has done was 100% necessary, and doing a single thing differently would have seen them replaced by a Republican. The only proof they would accept that this isn't the case is literally traveling to an alternate timeline.

Unsurprisingly, their logic is such that excuses can be made for just about anything a Democrat does. They place an impossible burden of proof on condemning Democrats, while placing a similarly impossible burden of proof on the left to show that their way would be better in any specific situation.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:23

A Handed Missus: Aug 6, 2012

is this succ?

https://twitter.com/SamuelLJackson/status/1050436404537249793

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:23

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
(and can't post for 25 days!)

A Handed Missus posted:

is this succ?

https://twitter.com/SamuelLJackson/status/1050436404537249793

the biggest succ sign is when they advertise themselves as being small business owners or pro small business

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:25

CAPS LOCK BROKEN: Feb 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

joepinetree posted:

So even Marine Le Pen has made a statement condemning the outright fascist candidate in the Brazilian elections. But none of the establishment democrats who love to talk about Venezuela or Honduras (or even Marine le Pen, like Obama) have said jack poo poo about it.
Not that I am clamoring for more US interference in Latin American politics, but it is just a very clarifying contrast when Democrats will go out of their way to make statements about Venezuela, Cuba or Nicaragua, and who feel Le Pen is such a threat to France they endorse Macron, but are suddenly quiet when there is an avowed fascist (who just happens to be the favorite candidate of wall street) in an election.

That's because their english speaking native informers have made it clear that they'd prefer a pinochet style dictator to any kind of leftist in charge in Latin America.

I mean take a look at the Venezuela thread, its either NGO workers, venezuelan expats living in western europe/america, or state department goons.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:31

ex post facho: Oct 25, 2007

Scary! posted:

jfc

https://mobile.twitter.com/welltraveledfox/status/1035267468544143360

Chaser

https://mobile.twitter.com/welltraveledfox/status/1035269751742840833

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:34

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

theCalamity posted:

Ok so riddle me this geniuses, what is your solution to the problems facing humanity?

I know what it's not. It's not a democrat.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:36

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

data center consolidation

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:44

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

spacetoaster posted:

I know what it's not. It's not a democrat.

I wouldn't go so far as to say Bernie would solve everything...

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:46

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Pener Kropoopkin posted:

the biggest succ sign is when they advertise themselves as being small business owners or pro small business

I'm pro small cooperative business

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:47

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

ex post facho posted:

Chaser

https://mobile.twitter.com/welltraveledfox/status/1035269751742840833

Lmao

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:47

theCalamity: Oct 23, 2010; Cry Havoc and let slip the Hogs of War

lol Gillum is a honeypot

# ? Oct 11, 2018 18:52

Crowsbeak: Oct 9, 2012; by Azathoth; Lipstick Apathy

StashAugustine posted:

I'm pro small cooperative business

theCalamity posted:

lol Gillum is a honeypot

Good thing he will probably lose.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:03

Sheng-Ji Yang: Mar 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1050400907509321729

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:24

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

ex post facho posted:

Chaser

Gillum is the gateway drug to Hillary

these people are also cultists, i have a migraine

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:27

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1050400907509321729

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:27

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

So, as I understand it, random posters can also jump in on that whole mod challenge thing. I don't really know how that works, and this isn't inspired by *Greek* poetry, and I have no real desired outcome here, but gently caress it, it was either this or do work for the last hour.

Decorum, who was also called Centrism, had prepared ale for the gods, after he had got the mighty kettle as has now been told. To this feast came Obama and Hillary. Bernie came not, as he was on a journey in the East. Pelosi was there, and Schumer and Kamala. Jones, who had but one hand, was there; the wolf Roy Moore had bitten off his left-voting hand when they had bound him. There were Manchin and Feinstein, Klobuchar, Gillibrand and Booker and Beto and Bredesen. Basta was there, and the servants Perez and Brazile. Many were there of the gods and superdelegates.

Decorum had two servants, Wasserman and Schultz. Glittering gold they had in place of firelight, the ale came in of itself, and great was the peace. The guests praised much the ability of Decorum's servants. Basta might not endure that, and he slew Wasserman. Then the gods shook their shields and howled at Basta and drove him away to the forest, and thereafter set to drinking again. Basta turned back, and outside he met Bloomberg.

Basta spoke to him:
"Speak now, Bloomberg, | for not one step
Farther shalt thou fare;
What ale-talk here | do they have within,
The sons of the decorous gods?"

Bloomberg spake:
"Of their polls do they talk, | and their mighty Blue Wave,
The sons of the glorious gods;
From the gods and superdelegates | who are gathered here
No friend in words shalt thou find."

Basta spake:
"In shall I go | into Decorum's hall,
For the feast fain would see;
Bile and hatred | I bring to the gods,
And their mead with venom I mix."

Bloomberg spake:
"If in thou goest | to Decorum's hall,
And fain the feast wouldst see,
And with slander and spite | wouldst sprinkle the gods,
Think well lest they wipe it on thee."

Basta spake:
"Bethink thee, Bloomberg, | if thou and I
Shall strive with spiteful speech;
Richer I grow | in ready words
If thou speakest too much to me."

Then Basta went into the hall, but when they who were there saw who had entered, they were all silent.

Basta spake:
"Thirsty I come | into this thine hall,
I, Mike, from a journey long,
To ask of the gods | that one should give
Fair mead for a drink to me.

"Why sit ye silent, | swollen with pride,
Ye gods and no answer give?
At your feast a place | and a seat prepare me,
Or bid me forth to fare."

Schumer spake:
"A place and a seat | will the gods prepare
No more in their midst for thee;
For the gods know well | what men they wish
To find at their mighty feasts."

Basta spake:
"Remember, Obama, | In olden days
That we both our blood have mixed;
Then didst thou promise | no ale to pour,
Unless it were brought for us both."

Obama spake:
"Stand forth then, Perez, | and let the porn lawyer
Find a seat at our feast;
Lest evil should Basta | speak aloud
Here within Decorum's hall."

Then Perez arose and poured drink for Basta; but before he drank Basta spoke to the gods:

"Hail to you, gods! | ye goddesses, hail!
Hail to the holy throng!
Save for the god | who yonder sits,
Schumer there on the bench."

Schumer spake:
A horse and a sword | from my hoard will I give,
And a ring gives Schumer to boot,
That hatred thou makest not | among the gods;
So rouse not the great ones to wrath."

Basta spake:
"In horses and rings |thou shalt never be rich,
Schumer, but both shalt thou lack;
Of the gods and superdelegates | here together met
Least brave in battle art thou."

Schumer spake:
"Now were I without | as I am within,
And here in Decorum's hall,
Thine head would I bear | in mine hands away,
And pay thee the price of thy lies."

Basta spake:
In thy seat art thou bold, | not so are thy deeds,
Schumer, adorner of benches!
Go out and fight | if angered thou feelst,
No hero such forethought has."

Pelosi spake:
"Well, prithee, Schumer | his kinship weigh,
Since chosen as wish-son he was;
And speak not to Basta | such words of spite
Here in Decorum's hall."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Pelosi! | thou art, I say,
Of leaders most useless in speech,
Since thou thy washed-bright | arms didst wind
About the high court's nominee"

Pelosi spake:
"To Basta I speak not | with spiteful words
Here within Decorum's hall;
And Schumer I calm | who is hot with beer
For I wish not that fierce they should fight."

Kamala spake:
"Why, ye gods twain, | with bitter tongues
Raise hate among us here?
Basta is famed | for his mockery foul,
And the dwellers in heaven he hates."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, O Cop | for now shall I say
Who led thee to evil life;
The convict so fair | fought a wildfire bright,
And about him thy chain was laid."

Obama spake:
"Mad art thou, Basta, | and little of wit,
The wrath of Kamala to rouse;
For the fate that is set | for all she sees,
Even as I, methinks."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Obama! | not justly thou settest
The fate of the fight among men;
Oft gavst thou to him | who deserved not the gift,
To the baser, the battle's prize."

Obama spake:
"Though I gave to him | who deserved not the gift,
To the baser, the battle's prize;
Winters eight | wast thou under the earth,
Stealing wages from drive-through employees.

Feinstein spake:
"Of the deeds ye two | of old have done
Ye should make no speech among men;
Whate'er ye have done | in days gone by,
Old tales should ne'er be told."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Feinstein! | thou art the South's wife,
And ever lustful in love;
For Confederate flags, | thou wife of Yee Haw,
Above thy domain thou hath flown."

Feinstein spake:
"If a friend like Franken | were by me now,
Here within Decorum's hall,
From the sons of the gods | thou shouldst go not forth
Till thy fierceness in fight were tried."

Basta spake:
"Thou wilt then, Feinstein, | that further I tell
Of the ill that now I know;
Mine is the blame | that Franken no more
Thou seest ride home to the hall."

Klobuchar spake:
"Mad art thou, Basta, | that known thou makest
The wrong and shame thou hast wrought;
The fate of all | does Feinstein know well,
Though herself she says it not."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Klobuchar! | for fully I know thee,
Sinless thou art not thyself;
Of the gods and superdelegates | who are gathered here,
Each one has forgotten thy name."

Klobuchar spake:
"False is thy tongue, | and soon shalt thou find
That it sings thee an evil song;
The gods are wroth, | and the goddesses all,
And in grief shalt thou homeward go."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Klobuchar! | thou dullest witch,
And steeped full sore in sin;
I looked away | for but a mere second
O who is Klobuchar again?"

Jones spake:
"Of the heroes brave | is Booker the best
Here in the home of the gods;
He harms not maids | nor the wives of men,
And the bound from their fetters he frees."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Jones! | for between two men
Friendship thou ne'er couldst fashion;
Fain would I tell | how Roy Moore once
Thy left hand rent from thee."

Jones spake:
"My hand do I lack, | but Emmanuel thou,
And the loss brings longing to both;
Ill fares the Rahm | who shall ever await
In fetters the fall of the gods."

"By the mouth of the river | the Rahm remains
Till the gods to destruction go;
Thou too shalt soon, | if thy tongue is not stilled,
Be fettered, thou forger of ill."

Basta spake:
"The Alabama seat | with gold didst thou buy,
And sold thy sword to boot;
But when Donald's sons | through Myrkwood ride,
Thou shalt weaponless wait, poor wretch."

Manchin spake:
"Had I birth so famous | as Bush or McCain,
And sat in so lofty a seat,
I would crush to marrow | this croaker of ill,
And beat all his body to bits."

Basta spake:
"What little creature | goes crawling there,
Snuffling and snapping about?
At Republicans' ears ever | wilt thou be found,
Or muttering hard at the mill."

Manchin spake:
"Manchin my name, | and nimble am I,
As gods and men do grant;
And here am I proud | that the children of all
Together all drink ale."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Manchin! | thou never couldst set
Their shares of the meat for men;
Hid in straw on the floor, | they found thee not
When heroes were fain to fight."

Biden spake:
"Drunk art thou, Basta, | and mad are thy deeds,
Why, Basta, leavst thou this not?
For drink beyond measure | will lead all men
No thought of their tongues to take."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Biden ! | in days long since
Was an evil fate for thee fixed;
With back held stiff | must thou ever stand,
As warder of heaven to watch."

Bredesen spake:
"The mountains shake, | and surely I think
From his home comes Bernie now;
He will silence the man | who is slandering here
Together both gods and men."

Basta spake:
"Be silent, Bredesen! | thou art useless indeed,
And deep art thou steeped in sin;
A greater shame | to the gods came ne'er,
Befouled thou art with thy filth."

Then came Bernie forth and spake:
"Unmanly one, cease, | or the mighty hammer,
Mjollnir, shall close thy mouth;
Thy shoulder-cliff | shall I cleave from thy neck,
But thy hospital stay shall be at no cost."

Basta spake:
"Lo, in has come | the son of Maple:
Why threaten so loudly, Bern?
Less fierce thou shalt go | to fight with the wolf
When he swallows Obama up."

Bernie spake:
"Unmanly one, cease, | or the mighty hammer,
Mjollnir, shall close thy mouth;
The ninety-and-nine | shall have on this day,
What but a small host have right now."

Basta spake:
"That thou hast fared | on the East-road forth
To men shouldst thou say no more;
In thy beach houses three | didst thou hide, thou great one,
And there forgot thou wast Bern."

Bernie spake:
"Unmanly one, cease, | or the mighty hammer,
Mjollnir, shall close thy mouth;
My finger shall wag thee | with Ted Cruz's slayer,
Till all thy bones are ashamed."

Basta spake:
"A long time still | do I think to live,
Though thou threatenest thus with thy finger;
Rough seemed the straps | of the SuperPACs' wallets,
When thy meat thou mightest not get

Bernie spake:
"Unmanly one, cease, | or the mighty hammer,
Mjollnir, shall close thy mouth;
The finger of Bernie | shall send thee to hell,
And down to the gate of death."

Basta spake:
"1 have said to the gods | and the sons of the gods,
The things that whetted my thoughts;
But before thee alone | do I now go forth,
For thou fightest well, I ween.

"Ale hast thou brewed, | but, Decorum, now
Such feasts shalt thou make no more;
O'er all that thou hast | which is here within
Shall play the flickering flames."

And after that Basta hid himself in Twitter's waterfall in the guise of a gadfly, and there the gods took him. Jack took a poison-snake and fastened it up over Basta's face, and the poison dropped thereon. Stormy, Basta's client, sat there and held a shell under the poison, but when the shell was full she bore away the poison, and meanwhile the poison dropped on Basta. Then he struggled so hard that the whole earth shook therewith; and now that is called Moments.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:31

THS: Sep 15, 2017

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1050400907509321729

jesus christ

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:31

THS: Sep 15, 2017

this thread just got real

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:32

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

President Obama (Michelle) is gonna invade Iraq a third time just for kicks.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:34

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH > Chaotic Spookiness, Politics, and Murder > Michelle Obama: George W. Bush is my "partner in crime"

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:35

Rastor: Jun 2, 2001

Lastgirl posted:

Gillum is the gateway drug to Hillary

these people are also cultists, i have a migraine

the thing is Bernie's team are usually good at filtering out the fakers, how did the Gillum team trick him into endorsing

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:38

galenanorth: May 19, 2016

I've got a question about Medicare for All. When it says "6.2 percent income-based health care premium paid by employers", is that being paid by the business and not the employee? He says the typical middle class family (about $50,000 in household income) would save $5,000, and you can't pay to bring somebody back from the dead but you can pay to keep tens of thousands from dying, so I'd still be for it regardless.

Edit: https://www.sanders.senate.gov/download/options-to-finance-medicare-for-all?inline=file

Yeah, I'm going to assume that refers to the employer

galenanorth fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Oct 11, 2018

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:39

Nix Panicus: Feb 25, 2007

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1050400907509321729

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:45

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Crowsbeak posted:

Good thing he will probably lose.

Gillum will be held up as a Bernie stand-in if/when he loses

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:51

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Democrats and Republicans, partners in crime.

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:28

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Azathoth posted:

I've done a bit of reflecting (not too much though), and I've been a pompous rear end way too much on here lately and hopefully this is at least a bit of penance. I'll write the rest before the deadline then slink away from this thread and not bother you all again.

you can stay if you can chill and shitpost more. this isnt necessarily the "correct policy" thread, just the "laugh at how lovely liberals are" thread

you have my succ
and you have my email list
and my rear end

# ? Oct 11, 2018 19:56

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Succzone: If they take away your vote, there's only one way to take it back: VOTE

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