/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

eat the cat ham, quizboy

# ? Oct 15, 2018 14:11

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 03:59

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

QuarkJets posted:

From r/legaladvice

Neighbor is poo poo-bombing my front yard

quote:
[�]Zanctmao1354 points 11 hours ago
If you freeze them and use a trebuchet to send them back it would be an IcyBM

oh my god this pun justifies reddit's entire existence :swoon:

# ? Oct 15, 2018 14:13

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Pick posted:

eat the cat ham, quizboy

5 minutes poorly spent.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Oct 15, 2018 14:23

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

Clearly her friends suck too though, because otherwise you'd obviously do a 3-4 split and make two teams, not a 1-6.

Kinda read like they were aware it was gonna happen and didn't care/thought it was funny. Like if I was at the table in that situation I'd have offered my spot to the bf and went off to play pool or such.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 15:31

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

ArbitraryC posted:

Kinda read like they were aware it was gonna happen and didn't care/thought it was funny. Like if I was at the table in that situation I'd have offered my spot to the bf and went off to play pool or such.

Everyone in that story sucks for different reasons. I used to play trivia with a group of friends every week for a few years, at one point the invites had expanded our numbers and we'd sometimes have like 7-10 people (6 person max on a team). We'd either form 2 teams as soon as we figured that out or just had one team and didn't care that we wouldn't win the prize (if we didn't have a good way to make 2 reasonable teams). It's not that hard to figure out and unless you're a loving weirdo it's more about having a fun activity to do with your friends while you drink than trying to win gift cards anyways.

GF: Sucks because she knew her BF was going to be late and didn't make the group split up before he got there or suck it up and accept that they just wouldn't win a gift card so her BF wouldn't be the odd man out.
BF: Sucks because he was a loving doormat about the whole thing, he should have just said "have fun" and left. Worth talking about later but don't be a loving sad sack in the corner all night and then do nothing about it.
Friends: Suck because they did nothing. Maybe the BF sucks and they didn't care, or just didn't know he was coming.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 16:48

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

The boyfriend's behavior in that story is 100% believable for an Internet shutin type who is already baseline uncomfortable with (a) being at a social gathering at a bar in the first place and (b) getting Too Real in front of people. He probably just panicked, didn't know how to process what was happening in a manner that seemed like appropriate behavior at a social gathering in front of people, and defaulted to "just get a drink I guess????"

That said though the quoted commenter was completely dead-on correct. Biding your time to avoid public drama only works if you actually have a confrontation later in private. Instead he... just kinda continued to act like nothing was wrong. He can and should still break up with her, but he lost his opportunity for maximum umbrage.

e: Oh and I didn't even notice during my readthrough but commenters ITT are also right that he's as much to blame as her for her being absent on his birthday weekend, because if he wanted to do something then he should have loving said so. If he had a problem it was on him.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 17:19

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Darkhold posted:

I [29M] found out that my wife [29F] racked up a bunch secret credit card debt buying Lularoe clothes. Married for almost 3 years, together for 5, with a 2 year old child
Meh 10k of debt is annoying but zoom in
AHAHAHAHAHA holy poo poo.

That is soooome detail. Can we just make MLMs illegal, already? I have a coworker whose wife is into that LulaRoe poo poo. Our company had a "bring your small business to work" day, and let people set up in the lobby. He rolled in numerous racks of the stuff. I asked him what it was, and he told me. He was clearly pretty salty about the whole thing, while trying really hard to support his wife. No one bought a drat thing from him.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 17:20

Depressio111117: Oct 18, 2014; A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

LuLaRoe is some of the ugliest clothing ever produced how the gently caress do you spend $10k on it oh my god

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:01

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

LadyPictureShow posted:

I [39M] don't want to eat the cat ham.

Never eat food from people who live in filthy apartments.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:11

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?

quote:

I'm going to try to keep emotion out of this as much as possible. So, some background. I live in Mississippi. My ex and I are both grad students in the same program. We're also neighbors. We dated for the last 8 months and on Monday he left me for his previous ex-girlfriend (not a student but a local business owner.)

Monday night, the day we break up, her car is at his house. I'm angry. I kick his front door, swear at him, go home and pass out. The next day I smear my dog's poop in his front door keyhole. Thursday, I make "lost dog"-esque posters of his face and put them on our shared neighborhood mailbox. Friday I write "cheater" on his door in chalk. He tries to call me, I ignore it and text him saying essentially "live with your choices, I'm gonna haunt you."

The police call me that same day but don't leave a voicemail, I don't recognize the number so I don't answer. They call me again today and leave a voicemail this time saying that he's filed a report against me for harassment.

I'm ready to own up to what I did. I haven't done any actual property damage, assault, defamation, or anything like that. I admit I acted out of anger. I won't do anything else. They probably see this all the time. But, everyone is telling me not to call them back and to lawyer up before I do anything.

I just want this to end. I'm fine coming clean and getting reprimanded a little. But, my friends and family have said that once the report is filed, if I admit guilt, it can be taken to the DA and actual charges can be pressed against me resulting in a possible misdemeanor, $500 fine, 6 mos jail time....

What is the safest thing to do here? Call the cop and deny, deny, deny? Get a lawyer and have them make the call for me? Call and come clean? (that's what I am leaning towards.)

tl;dr: boyfriend cheated on me. I retaliated with words but not damage. he filed a police report and they want to talk to me. what should I do?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:18

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Haifisch posted:

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?

lol if they don't have video just deny deny deny....

Well except for the fact she just fessed up about it on the internet lol.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:19

SpaceViking: Sep 2, 2011; Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

MarcusSA posted:

lol if they don't have video just deny deny deny....

Well except for the fact she just fessed up about it on the internet lol.

also she texted him that she is going to keep harassing him.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:20

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

How is smearing dog poo poo on his door not damaging his property? I'm pretty sure that is illegal.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:21

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

SpaceViking posted:

also she texted him that she is going to keep harassing him.

haha I missed that part.

Woman scorned and all that.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:24

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Haifisch posted:

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?

"I'm fine with admitting what I did and being told I am a naughty child, but not with facing actual consequences for my misdeeds :ohdear:

"

Fuckin' white people is2g

Anyway the answer to her actual question is lawyer up but she knows that already, she's just flailing about for someone to say everything's gonna be okay

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:26

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

I'm sure that his landlord would affirm that absolutely she damaged the building by kicking the door (now I have to replace the hinges!!), writing on it with chalk (don't you know that chalk rips wood finishes right off??), etc

She says she wants to fess up, so fess up. The DA isn't going to send her (a grad student, and presumably a white woman) to jail for putting dog poop on his door. At worst she'll get a restraining order, an anger management class, and maybe a weekend of community service.

Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Oct 15, 2018

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:28

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Haifisch posted:

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?

Lol at "I retaliated with words but not damage" despite just posting that she kicked in his front door, smeared dog poo poo on his front door keyhole, and wrote "cheater" on his door with chalk.

The "Lost Dog" posters are pretty good for a lol, though.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:28

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

She pretty much made a country music video, if only the cameras were rolling.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 18:57

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Bogus Adventure posted:

Lol at "I retaliated with words but not damage" despite just posting that she kicked in his front door, smeared dog poo poo on his front door keyhole, and wrote "cheater" on his door with chalk.

The "Lost Dog" posters are pretty good for a lol, though.

And the Lost Dog posters might count as defamation if the DA feels saucy. It's going around in public ruining his reputation.

Whatever. She'll get a slap on the wrist and have to pay to repair the door and honestly that's about all anyone deserves for that.

edit: and have a restraining order to keep her distance at all times.

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Oct 15, 2018

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:01

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

CannonFodder posted:

Whatever. She'll get a slap on the wrist and have to pay to repair the door and honestly that's about all anyone deserves for that.

Lol no guys harassment and stalking are totally not a big deal! No reason to punish this sort of behavior because it totally never escalates to violence!

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:04

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Sagebrush posted:

At worst she'll get a restraining order, an anger management class, and maybe a weekend of community service.

They're neighbors so it's possible a restraining order might force her to move.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:06

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

That's terrifyingly crazy behavior

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:08

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Haifisch posted:

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?
I kick his front door [actual property damage/assault], swear at him[assault], go home and pass out. The next day I smear my dog's poop in his front door keyhole[actual property damage]. Thursday, I make "lost dog"-esque posters of his face and put them on our shared neighborhood mailbox [defamation]. Friday I write "cheater" on his door in chalk [defamation]. He tries to call me, I ignore it and text him saying essentially "live with your choices, I'm gonna haunt you." [assault/harassment].

....

I'm ready to own up to what I did. I haven't done any actual property damage, assault, defamation, or anything like that.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dude needs a change of address and, since this is America, a gun.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:12

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

That's terrifyingly crazy behavior

Bog standard redneck spited ex behaviour where I grew up. Well there would have been something involving pick up trucks as well.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:14

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

El_Elegante posted:

She pretty much made a country music video, if only the cameras were rolling.

That is because any good country music is songs about bad people making worse decisions.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:16

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I TOOK A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER TO BOTH HEADLIGHTS

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:24

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

cumshitter posted:

They're neighbors so it's possible a restraining order might force her to move.

Na I doubt it. They can word the RO however they want. :shrug:

Hell I've seen them against people that live with each other and can continue to live with each other and all the RO says is that the one party can't "harass" the other.

They could word it so she just can't have any contact with him but can continue to live there easy enough.

Most of the ones that state has to stay XX yards away they either don't live close to each other so there is no reason they should or the one party did some really hosed up poo poo.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:43

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Haifisch posted:

Ex-boyfriend filed a harassment report against me. How to proceed?

"I put my dog's feces in his key hole, but no damage was done to his property."

Like, I think of awful things to do to people all the time. You aren't supposed to act on those thoughts. It's only funny in your imagination. It turns into nuts when you actually act on it.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:48

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

(cw: pet loss)

YIKES

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1051876854062358533?s=19

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1051880924764364801?s=19

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:54

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

*extremely didn't murder your pet voice* yes... I stepped on it...it was an accident

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:54

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

I'm mad now

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:57

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

"He's never been addicted to drugs, and he's never self-harmed, but he does have a bird, which is kind of the same thing" -- someone who definitely didn't mean to kill the bird

e: those comments, hoo boy :stare:

loquacius fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Oct 15, 2018

# ? Oct 15, 2018 19:59

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Bored posted:

"I put my dog's feces in his key hole, but no damage was done to his property."

flashing back to all those videos of Nazis bawling "I WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING!!!" to the cops when they catch some hands trying to attack protestors

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:00

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

zakharov posted:

(cw: pet loss)

YIKES

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1051876854062358533?s=19

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1051880924764364801?s=19

Shes loving psycho but I loving hate how Twitter handles images.

Its triggering me.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:00

My Linux Rig: Mar 27, 2010; Can't post for 6 years!

tactlessbastard posted:

Shoot his dog.

it is Idaho after all, he�d not only be able to get a gun easily but the cops would probably side with him, the property owner

Although he could have prevented this by just putting up a short chain link fence around his front lawn. it�d prevent dog owners from doing their business on his lawn

Not that�d help against the neighbor from dropping poo poo in his lawn though

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:05

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

therobit posted:

Lol no guys harassment and stalking are totally not a big deal! No reason to punish this sort of behavior because it totally never escalates to violence!

Hmm but sometimes it leads to butthole greedo so who can say if its good or bad

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:11

AfricanBootyShine: Jan 9, 2006

MarcusSA posted:

Shes loving psycho but I loving hate how Twitter handles images.

Its triggering me.

https://snew.github.io/r/relationships/comments/9o740m/i_24f_had_accidentally_killed_mu_boyfriends_28m/

quote:

I [24F] had accidentally killed mu boyfriend�s [28M] bird and had said hurtful things to him... I�m afraid that he�s going to hate me.

I am going to say this now: in no way do I believe that my actions were justified. I hadn�t meant to do what I did, and I feel incredibly guilty about the whole situation. I feel like there is no way I can ever apologize to him in a way that would be adequate enough to atone for my actions.

We�ve been dating for 3 years, but have known eachother for about 5 or so years. We had always been close friends. He�s had depression / anxiety for a majority of his life due to his childhood.

Our relationship was, more or less, perfect. I have always tried my best to be understanding due to some strange habits / attachments that he uses to cope with his illnesses. While his attatchments were somewhat unhealthy (in my own opinion), as long as it helped him to cope, I tried not to mind it much.

One of his weird attatchments was a bird. He had never been addicted to drugs / bodily harm, but had found comfort in this cockatoo that he said that he had since highschool. I had never liked birds much, but he says that doing stuff like birdwatching had always helped him to take his mind off of any intrusive thoughts.

His bird wasn�t aggressive or anything, but I wasn�t a big fan of it. He had - what I considered to be - an unhealthy attatchment to the bird, but I had never said anything to him about it.

These past couple of months, our relationship had been a little rocky. I�m not sure what happened, but he started to avoid me, and would clam up whenever I asked him what was wrong. (For context, we live together).

This had happened before, but never to this extent / time period. I began to wonder if I had done something wrong or hurt his feelings somehow. He had explained before that sometimes he�s just �get like this� for no reason and he assured me that it would �always pass�. It normally would, but this time, I wasn�t too sure. It had gone on for too long.

My boyfriend works from home, and I had the day off. He was in his office doing whatever the hell he does with that drat bird. I swear, he pays more attention to the bird than he does to his own girlfriend. At one point, I went into his office and locked us both inside, demanding that he tell me what the problem is.

Bad idea, probably. He hates being cornered, and I knew that and decided to use that against him. He asked for me to unlock the door and to leave and that he�d talk to me later / in the living room. I refused, once again demanding that he tell me what�s wrong, and if he didn�t, I�d break up with him.

I feel like it was kind of low of me to corner him and threaten him, essentially forcing him to share something that he wasn�t comfortable sharing at the time, but that thought didn�t cross my mind at that time. I feel terrible, but all I wanted at that time were answers.

We had gotten into a heated argument (although one-sided. Admittedly, it was just a slew of insults on my end, and then he started to clam up and the bird ended up stealing his attention once more). I just about had it with him ignoring me to pay attention to his bird and - in the heat of the moment - told him just that. I clearly remember telling him �just date the damned bird since you obviously love it more than you love me�.

He tried telling me that it wasn�t true but I guess I wasn�t having it and the end result was him pushing me out the way to unlock the door, and him leaving the house.

I don�t know where he went but I didn�t care. I went to the guest room (as we had a shared bedroom that I did not want to be in at that moment) and I remember crying my eyes out.

It was 3 in the morning and he still wasn�t back. I had trouble sleeping and was worried about his wellbeing. During the argument, I had said some things that were based upon a few of his many insecurities, and had said some awful things to him that I didn�t actually feel about him. I had tried texting him and calling him, but he had left his phone at home. His car was still there but I have no idea where he could have gone.

I had left my room with the intention of getting a snack, and then waiting for him to come home to offer an apology. The bird was usually noisy at night, but the house was almost unnervingly quiet. I didn�t pay any mind to it.

I was walking down the hallway (it was dark) when I felt something under my foot. I heard this crunching / snapping, squishy sort of sound. Sleep deprived and groggy, it took me a while to actually realize what had just happened.

I moved back, felt along the walls for the light switch to the lights in the hallway. I hadn�t turned it on previously because it was bright, and I had been in the dark guest room all night. I figured that there was no hazard, but I forgot that my boyfriend was the one that put the bird in its cage every night. My boyfriend wasn�t there...

I felt sick. Like genuinely, actually sick. The first thing I did when I realized what I had done was cry. The bird was still moving. I hadn�t killed it, but I�m guessing that it�s spine snapped or something, because it was on the floor, kind of sprawled out, struggling to move.

I didn�t know what to do. I ended up putting it in an empty delivery box and sticking it in the closet in the hallway.

Sure, I hated the bird, but I didn�t want it to die or anything, much less kill it myself. I hadn�t meant to do it.

tl;dr: got into an argument with my boyfriend, accidentally killed his bird

That was last night. It�s now late in the evening and my boyfriend called to apologize to me for storming out. He told me that he was at his friends house and staying for another night, that he�d be home in the morning. He asked me if I could feed the bird for him. I just told him �okay�. I really don�t know how to tell him.

What if he thinks that I did it on purpose? A majority of that argument was spurred by, and spent bashing his obsession with the thing. I said all those hurtful things, and he felt that it was necessary to apologize to me. I feel horrible, like something less than human, and I don�t know what to do. He�s already in a bad place mentally, and this just puts the icing on the cake. How do I tell him? What do I even say to him? How can I ever make this up to him?

update:

quote:

I�d like to start this off with a �thanks for absolutely nothing�. I posted to this site for advice, but got nothing but criticism and false accusations. I figured that you guys would appreciate an update, and are satisfied with the end result. :/

He came home this morning (or later in the morning of the incident, as it had happened at 3am... He came home around 8 or 9am). We talked for a bit about what happened, and he seemed to be fine for the most part. He was hesitant in asking if I had fed the bird like he had asked me to. I told him no, and he asked me why. I told him that I couldn�t find the bird.

He gave me a weird look. I�m not even sure what kind of expression it was (sorr of like a grimace) and he asked me again where the bird was.

I told him the story of how I had accidentally stepped on it and he immediately told me that it was bullshit. He told me that the bird was trained to return to his cage after sunset, and that it wouldn�t just lie down in the middle of the hallway like that at 3 in the morning (much like you guys said... except I was telling the truth).

I had never seen him so upset, or angry for that matter. He accused me of killing the bird on purpose, which is something I didn�t do, and something that no one believed me when I say that was an accident, for whatever reason.

He asked me to leave the house, and I refused, as I didn�t know if he was planning to hurt himself or something if I left. He locked himself inside his office and he won�t talk to me. I fear for his wellbeing, and I won�t be there to stop him if he tries to do anything drastic.

tl;dr: boyfriend is convinced that i killed the bird on purpose (which i didn�t). has been in his office all morning to this afternoon and i can�t get him to talk to me / come out

How do I get him to listen to me ?? A majority of you are convinced that I killed the bird on purpose and that I�m abusive even though that is not the case. It was an accident, and I am being misunderstood.

I just don�t know what to do.

AfricanBootyShine fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Oct 15, 2018

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:25

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

AfricanBootyShine posted:

https://snew.github.io/r/relationships/comments/9o740m/i_24f_had_accidentally_killed_mu_boyfriends_28m/

Thank you for this. She is a terrible drat person.

Also I know I shouldn't even ask this but why in the gently caress were some of those comments removed by the moderator? I really don't understand that.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:36

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 03:59

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

MarcusSA posted:

Thank you for this. She is a terrible drat person.

Also I know I shouldn't even ask this but why in the gently caress were some of those comments removed by the moderator? I really don't understand that.

Probably for giving relevant, useful advice. Like that she should kill herself immediately.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 20:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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