/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

pooch516: Mar 10, 2010

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

husband (27m) of 2 year used a $40 bottle of my (28f) craft essential oil lotion as "lube" while I was out of town. I think it was malicious and he won't make effort to replace saying I should have kept it out of sight if I didn't want it used "like that."

The lube incident is the least of this couple's problems. This dude is getting all worked up because she was away for a week (while still working). Clearly he had a fine time without her so WTF is he so bent out of shape for, except being told that he did something wrong.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:27

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:06

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Oooooohhhh that was a good one. Ha ha sorry. Obviously kindness and compassion are essential but man I just can't not poke bear

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:27

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pick posted:

I'm just ducking around. I'm left just not "kill anyone who makes me contribute to society" left.

Who makes you contribute.

That�s not how that works

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:28

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

weed is the weak man's fentanyl

husband (27m) of 2 year used a $40 bottle of my (28f) craft essential oil lotion as "lube" while I was out of town. I think it was malicious and he won't make effort to replace saying I should have kept it out of sight if I didn't want it used "like that."

What a loving tool, what's the not hosed up way to call someone retarded now?

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:29

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

CharlestheHammer posted:

Who makes you contribute.

That�s not how that works

loving leftists compelling me to spend 90% of my income on housing and food. loving leftists compelling the purchase of MULTIPLE insurances to prevent my Huge Frothy Hound from devouring children at the gently caress Dome.

edit- democrats are just socialists who think accountability is for Other People

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:30

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Turtlicious posted:

Like lmao @ choosing to hang out with people who voted for 4k kids to get black bagged in the ducking Texas desert. Every regressive signed off on it, so every regressive is responsible.

I choose to be alone.

Ok well. I have my wives but still.

I supported this but it was for Satan reasons not racism reasons

Sorry kids, Obama and Soros weren't gonna summon themselves

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:31

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

it's impressive how pick just kinda rotates between four or five topics to troll this thread and she still gets endless bites

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:32

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Turtlicious posted:

Like lmao @ choosing to hang out with people who voted for 4k kids to get black bagged in the ducking Texas desert. Every regressive signed off on it, so every regressive is responsible.

I choose to be alone.

Ok well. I have my wives but still.

much better to vote for kids to get hosed by rich perverts under a pizzeria

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Brother Entropy posted:

it's impressive how pick just kinda rotates between four or five topics to troll this thread and she still gets endless bites

It's bizarre that I openly admit I troll this thread and still get bites, that's for sure

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:34

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

riling people up by being almost but not quite left enough? must be a tuesday

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:34

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

a lot of people who post here don't seem to ever venture outside the forums anymore and so are insanely thirsty for someone to argue at

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:35

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Pick posted:

It's bizarre that I openly admit I troll this thread and still get bites, that's for sure

I usually try to springboard into saying something funny off your troll posts but I'm not funny so it's real hard

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:36

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I didn't really see anyone bite this time.

It was a bit too scorching of a hot take

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:37

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Do we really need to do the annual let�s talk about pick thing.

It�s kind of tedious

Like if she�s trolling or sincere it doesn�t really matter

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:37

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

CharlestheHammer posted:

Do we really need to do the annual let’s talk about pick thing.

It’s kind of tedious

So's everything you post, and we still let you in here

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:38

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Blade Runner posted:

So's everything you post, and we still let you in here

And outside of you no one is obsessed with me.

So clearly it�s possible

You all can be like thirsty on Twitter or something

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:39

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Leon Einstein posted:

What a strange dynamic that lube couple has.

Figuring your husband is going to jerk off all over the house when you leave is a strange presumption.

It�s actually not weird for your spouse to know whether you like orgasms or not. Let me know if you need a more detailed explanation.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:40

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

CharlestheHammer posted:

Do we really need to do the annual let’s talk about pick thing.

It’s kind of tedious

Like if she’s trolling or sincere it doesn’t really matter

i just respect the attempt to salvage her 'virgin stemlord vs chad normalguy' bit by bringing in republicans

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:43

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I have brain problems so I don't count.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:48

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

I figured

Pick posted:

So glad to finally be in a republican dominated field so I can interact with nice men instead of rear end in a top hat stem douches like y'all

would get more riled up replies. It's objectively good gbs-trolling.

Thread... learning?

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:48

Tendai: Mar 16, 2007; "When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."; Grimey Drawer

The trick is to work with men who are generally 15 years younger than you. I dare my 20 year old co-workers to be a fucker to me, I will take them down.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:52

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

rear end cobra posted:

I figured

would get more riled up replies. It's objectively good gbs-trolling.

Thread... learning?

Didn�t stop the more regular posters from pretending it did work.

Because this thread is loving weird.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:54

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

CharlestheHammer posted:

Didn’t stop the more regular posters from pretending it did work.

Because this thread is loving weird.

Sorry

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:57

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

tactlessbastard posted:

Sorry

It�s okay it just seems to be how these threads go.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 22:59

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

Ex boyfriend [31F] hosed me [30F] out of a business, left me with a pile of debt, and now calls me abusive when I nag him to pick up his cat

quote:

So my ex boyfriend (together six years) and I are both professional chefs and were planning on starting a restaurant together. He has really bad credit, so when we took out the loan we put it in my name. About six months ago, he revealed out of nowhere that he had been unhappy for a very long time and he had fallen in love with someone else. He bailed on the business, leaving me with a massive loan I couldn't pay back on my own, and started a restaurant with this new girl who comes from a wealthy family and put up the capital to start the business.

I was obviously distraught. I tried reasoning with him after he broke the news, but he was gone the next day and moved into the other girl's apartment. Her building doesn't allow cats, so he left his cat behind at our old place telling me it would be temporary until he and the new girl moved.

It's been six loving months and I haven't heard anything about them moving. I never really bonded with this cat. He was always very mean to me and has gotten extra cranky now that my ex is not around. He also sheds a lot which is a huge pain, and I have not been reimbursed for his food or other cat supplies. I have threatened to send the cat to a shelter, but my ex has threatened to sue me if I do.

Between the massive loan that is threatening to bankrupt me and the cat that slinks around my apartment as a reminder of this rear end in a top hat, all I feel every day is a maelstrom of bitterness and rage. Every time I try to talk to my ex, it escalates into a fight. He calls me "abusive" when I lose my temper and tells me that my temper is the reason he held off on breaking up with me for so long, and to not to contact him anymore as he and his new girlfriend no longer feel safe because of me. He then ends every interaction with "Be well" which only sends me into an even bigger rage, considering he is the reason why I am not well.

I am so consumed with anger I can't think straight, so I am looking to objective outsiders for advice. What is the smartest way to handle this situation? I know "calm down" is probably number 1. What else?

tl;dr: Ex-boyfriend pulled out of a business we were planning on starting together, leaving me with a mountain of debt. He moved into another girl's apartment and left his cat behind because her place doesn't take pets. Is a master deflector when I try to call him out.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

"My boyfriends credit is so bad he cant even co-sign a loan" should tell you something about what hell do when it comes time to commit to you.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:04

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Get a new boyfriend, move in with him, break up, leave cat with him.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:05

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I'm in an abusive relationship with my electrical utility, I'm two seconds from dropping the pasta in and bam, power out, again, for the fourth time this month.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:06

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Cats are way loving better then people, she should date the cat

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:06

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Captain Yossarian posted:

Cats are way loving better then people, she should date the cat

Slow down there sport

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:07

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Please, dont date J. Wellington Wimpy

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:07

DrSnakeLaser: Sep 6, 2011

quote:

My boyfriend (22M) told me that life would be better if I(20F) could not speak.Relationships

Past: We have been together for 4 years. I think we enjoy spending time with eachother and we have similar hobbies. We also love eachothers families and everything is seemingly perfect. We want the same things in the future and i really love him.

Situation: We both still live with parents which is totaly normal in our country. He works for one week and the other week he is free. He lives in dorms provided by his workplace during that time. At his free time we both mostly live with my parents. I go to school full time and my parents support me. I will finish really soon.

For him nagging means: talking about future, making him clean after himself, asking him to come to eat when he is playing on his computer, having a problem and wanting to talk with him, me feeling sad and wanting comfort.

Problems:

He refuses to talk about near future. What we will do after I finish school etc. When I try to talk to him he dismisses me and tells me to stop nagging. I want to move out and find my own place soon and to disscuss if i should continue studying. He agreed on changing his job in the future so we could live together. I do not want to live apart for a long time. (Right now its ok.) For me it would be a deal-breaker. That came with a huge fight. He is willing to talk about distant future together tho.

About a year ago he went missing for 2 weeks. His parents, friends and me didn�t know anything about his whereabouts. We all paniced because he didn�t say anything about leaving. He just went missing. Comes out he went to join military aboard... His parents were so worried. He already had a new identy etc. I somehow contacted him and he told me that he had no plan to contact us for 5 years or so. I persuaded him to come back somehow. He told me that he left because i was driving him crazy with my �nagging.� In the end I forgave him and everything was fine for a year.

Now: I notice that he is reading a lot about that military that he fleed to. I plead him to stop following these pages on internet and to forget about it because it hurts me even to think about it. I also told him that its making me feel like he wants to �escape� again. He gets really angry again and tells me �this is the reason i left, you are nagging on me again. It would be better if you could not talk.� Now we are fighting again.

Am I unreasonable? What should I do? A big thank you for anybody who read this long text through and sorry for my bad english.

tl;dr: Fighting with boyfriend because he does not listen to my worries about his past mistakes.

She's still not sure if her manbaby boyfriend is the problem in the relationship or not.

quote:

Does the fact that he is reading about that place mean that he wants to go there again? I am not sure. I'd like to think that it is just interesting for him. What do you think?

He does not tell me he is unhappy often - only when i try to talk to him about things he does not want to talk about. For example: I tell him that i want to move out from my parents when I finish school and that I would be happy if we could do it together. His answer is like "Why would I waste money on useless rent if I could save up(to buy a house) if i can live with my parents?" and "thats why I left that time - you drove me crazy with your useless ideas"

quote:

When I tell him that I want to change something or to talk about the "forbidden" things he says that "Everything is perfect for me. Why should I change anything?" I have no valid points against his argument and nothing to say after that. I tried to say that "because I do not like this situation" and his answer was "Make it work because it works for me."

quote:

But do you have any other ideas that are not dumping him? Do you really think that I can not make it work?

After a lot of comments she might have wizened up based on some of her responses. Hopefully.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:09

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Put the cat in a crate and leave it at his new restaurant. What's he gonna do call the cops for giving him his cat back? Sue you to take it back so he can later take it back?

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:09

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Barudak posted:

Please, dont date J. Wellington Wimpy

lmao

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:11

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

dudeness posted:

Put the cat in a crate and leave it at his new restaurant. What's he gonna do call the cops for giving him his cat back? Sue you to take it back so he can later take it back?

if it's anything like my Ex in highschool, kill the cat, then blame me for it.

e: jfc i do not have any happy stories.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:12

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Turtlicious posted:

if it's anything like my Ex in highschool, kill the cat, then blame me for it.

Look, that cat was lurking in the dark, right in the walkway...

Wait that actually checks out

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:13

tractor fanatic: Sep 9, 2005; Pillbug

CharlestheHammer posted:

Do we really need to do the annual let�s talk about pick thing.

It�s kind of tedious

Like if she�s trolling or sincere it doesn�t really matter

"annual"

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:15

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

rear end cobra posted:

Ex boyfriend [31F] hosed me [30F] out of a business, left me with a pile of debt, and now calls me abusive when I nag him to pick up his cat

send the cat to a shelter, let the boyfriend try to sue and watch him get laughed out of court

it won't fix the loan problem, but it'll make you feel a bit better about yourself

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:27

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

weed is the weak man's fentanyl

husband (27m) of 2 year used a $40 bottle of my (28f) craft essential oil lotion as "lube" while I was out of town. I think it was malicious and he won't make effort to replace saying I should have kept it out of sight if I didn't want it used "like that."

The solution is to get an identical bottle, fill it with tea tree oil, then leave it somewhere where he is sure to find it :laugh:

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:49

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:06

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Drunk Nerds posted:

Also can someone clarify why being in the military for 20 years means one totally naturally understands some 1974 Virginia privacy act, because that seems super forced.

It's several hundred posts ago, but the Privacy Act of 1974 is plastered all over cabinets and shredders in the military that may have personally identifiable information in them.

I have it on 2 cabinets in my office myself.

# ? Oct 16, 2018 23:49

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