Baronjutter posted:

My Linux Rig posted:

lol so you’re the idiot that wears a tie to a tech startup job

My Linux Rig posted:

oh goody pick is back with her weak troll posts

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and I've never seen his feet. For the first 8 months of our relationship, I honestly didn't even think about it. One day I was trying to picture his body from memory and I realized I couldn't because I didn't remember what his feet looked like. That evening I told him, "I realized I can picture every part of your body in my mind except for your feet, I have to inspect them later so I can picture them too!" As soon as I said this, he shut down. Didn't want to talk to me or even touch me. He refused to tell me what was wrong and told me I made him uncomfortable. Of course, this made me feel horrible knowing that I made him uncomfortable but not knowing how or why. I kept asking him to open up to me and tell me what was wrong, and finally he did. His story was pretty vague, he didn't want to give details, but basically he was bullied as a kid for the way his feet looked so he started covering them by wearing socks 24/7 and has never stopped. He did not say what specifically was wrong with his feet. He's had multiple relationships, one that lasted 4 years, and none of his girlfriends have seen his feet. He told me nobody knows about this except for his parents and now me.

It all made sense. He always wears socks during sex. He won't let me in the bathroom while he's showering. When he showers he brings his socks with him to put them on while he's in the bathroom. The few time he's had to change socks in public, he goes to the bathroom or makes me turn around. He refuses to swim with friends/family. He WILL swim with only me, but he has to wear water shoes. Once, we were invited on a family trip but but he refused to go because we would be going to the beach every day and he didn't want to wear water shoes around my family. I would love to take a bath with him or shower with him, I don't even care if he wears the water shoes, but he refuses.

Overall our relationship his great. This is the man I plan to marry. He's such a great guy and I know I shouldn't focus on this small problem. But the fact that he's not comfortable enough to fully share his body with me upsets me. I want him to trust me, and I feel like he doesn't. I'm a romantic, and I guess in some ways I feel like I'm not "the one" for him because he can't be vulnerable with me. I know this is the wrong way to think. I just wish we could bathe/shower together and do water-related stuff with friends like a normal couple. I've made it clear that I'd love him no matter how his feet look, but he's said this is something he just has to "get over" and that any time I bring it up he feels pressured by me. It's his body, and I would never want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. I guess I'm seeking advice on how to approach this problem. Should I pursue helping him work through the trauma he faced or just let him work through it on his own time? Maybe he needs to talk to a therapist about this? Or maybe I am focusing too much on it and should let things play out?

TL;DR- Have dated boyfriend for 2 years and he refuses to show anyone (including me) his feet. Wears socks 24/7. Won't do water-related things with friends/family because it requires him to wear water shoes. I want to help him move on from this if I can.

Khazar-khum posted:

Lol yeah, look at that scrub. I bet he even showers and brushes his teeth.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

He clearly has feet of clay.

Haifisch posted:

I [21 F] have never seen my boyfriend [26 M] of two years' feet

value-brand cereal posted:

Here. I found this while trying to figure out how to make the BYOB theme a universal site theme because I love the kitty kitties.

https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/25604-something-awful-true-ignore

Now you can stop seeing her posts. Unless pickwatching is your hobby, in which case please disregard this poast.

Unfortunately the only yob related theme I found doesn't work for me. Oh well. if you know of a yob theme script that works, please let me know! Nah mist ayyy!

https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/369526-yobpos

Pick posted:

and being the center of attention

Xenocides posted:

Young children have to rely on their parents and love their parents even when the parent is horrible. Mom is wishing she still had a dependent that cannot fight back and still thought they loved her. That was all she ever had.

Great Grandma's Magnolias posted:

3 months ago
[FL]Neighbors/tenants cutting down my magnolia trees w/o consent

I inherited this house & surrounding property from my great grandparents when they passed away. This includes two rental properties, which my great-grandfather had been renting out for years to two families. Relations between the three families had always been cordial, even when my great grandparents passed a few years ago and I became the new "landlord", though the "dads" of both families are only a little younger than my grandfather, and I get the impression from our interactions they chafe a little bit that their new landlord is a woman in her late 20s, but I figured everything is fine because I've never raised the rent beyond what my great-grandfather set it at, and I always have professionals over to deal with any issues on the homes within 24 hours of receiving a call from them.

About three years ago, a local kid was messing around in my magnolia trees, and broke his leg. My homeowner's insurance paid the settlement to the kid's family, but just to be on the safe side I had a surveyor come out and mark the property line for my "lot" (they also used the word "plat", but I'll be honest, this isn't my area of expertise) vs the lots of the two rental houses, and then had a contractor come out and put a white PVC fence at the property line, just to ward off a repeat incident.

Like some kind of fairy-tale, the kids of the families that rent from me fell in love and have decided to get married. They wanted to have a "block party" and the bride's father asked if I'd be okay with them decorating on my property as well, since it's part of the block. I admit, I took "decorating" to mean things like hanging lights or other traditional wedding decorations, so I gave my consent.

This morning I woke up to the sound of chainsaws, and went outside to discover the parents of the bride & groom were cutting down my magnolia trees (each tree is about 80 years old - this house was purchased as a wedding present for my great grandmother, and they planted magnolias there when they got married. If my great grandmother had lived she'd be turning 100 next year) because they didn't match the bride's "aesthetic vision".

I told them to stop immediately, I didn't give them permission for that, and I was going to call the police. They stopped, but when I went inside to grab my cell they started up again.

When I confronted them, I was basically told that since they're my tenants, I'd just be suing myself, so I could "suck it up, buttercup". I admit, I was more than a little intimidated by a group of men with chainsaws. I went back in my house while they continued cutting and called the police, who came out and told them to stop, and gave them tickets, but they started up again once the police were gone. I called the police again, and they haven't come back out yet. I've also already called an arborist friend of mine (I'm a florist), to come out and do an assessment immediately. I called my insurance company as well, and they're going to have someone call me back. But while I'm waiting, I thought I would ask here: Can I sue them? Or am I, as their landlord, liable for their actions against me? Needless to say, no one is getting their lease renewed, even though they've lived here for decades.

Sorry if this is rambly, The trees hold a lot of sentimental value to my family and I, so this is very emotionally draining.

Great Grandma's Magnolias posted:

I've received a number of messages begging for an update, but as it's only been a few months, I can only give a partial one, due to the ongoing legal issues (my attorneys have advised me not to divulge too much to anyone).

The day after my post, I called a good friend of mine who has been my go to plumber since I inherited the property (we went to high school together), to ask for his help. He went to both houses the next day, saying that I had called him last week since the water bill seemed high, and asked him to come look at the pipes. He went through the houses, surreptitiously taking pictures, while "inspecting" the bathrooms/kitchens/water boilers, etc for leaks. Apparently while he was there they made a bunch of comments about me that included racial slurs (tldr: i'm biracial, and do not pass for white) and such about how I need to learn my place. After he'd inspected both houses he came over to mine, and gave me all the photos.

I conferred with an attorney regarding evicting them, and four days later both families were served with 7 day eviction notices. As expected, they blew up, and started throwing rocks at my house, slinging more racial epithets in my direction. I'd always grown up being terrified of angry racist white men twice my size, I never realized how unbelievably pathetic they actually are until I watched them crying like babies while being hauled off by the police on the video cameras.

The bride made a very angry post on facebook, followed up by standing up in church (small town, most of us go to the same church) during "prayers and concerns" to beg for prayers for her family because "Our landlord is evicting all of us because she's jealous that I'm getting married!" The pastor, feigning innocence, said "I thought she was evicting you all because your father and [Groom]'s father cut down [My Great-Grandmother]'s prize magnolias?" Hardest game of You-Laugh-You-Lose I've ever played, still proud I survived.

According to the arborists (yes plural. though my friend came out and did an assessment, my attorney for the suit over the trees advised selecting someone who isn't so close to me for the paperwork we'll submit to the court), based on the number of trees cut down and the number of trees damaged beyond repair, and how old/well-tended those trees were, the value of the trees alone is more than i could sell all three houses for in the current housing market around here. Then the attorney started talking about how the damages are multiplied and let's just say I would be quite happy with half that number, but I know when to zip my lips so I'll let my attorneys handle the negotiating.

They did, in fact, destroy the houses as best they could. I have enough savings/inheritance left that I can live without the rents for a while, so I'm using it as an excuse to have both houses renovated since they haven't had major renovations since well before I was born.

The bride and groom got married and had their reception in the church basement instead of the cul-de-sac. They had to cancel the honeymoon to spend the money on legal fees. (Am I a bad person for being amused?)

Hurricane Michael just gave me some wild thunderstorms, thankfully passed over us with the worst of it.

My boyfriend of seven years proposed (finally, goddamn).

Other than that, you'll have to wait until the eternally slow court systems process through. I do want to take a moment to thank you all for thinking of me, and being so helpful with your advice with what was a terrifying ordeal at the time. I'd never really stood up to my elders like that before, and it was comforting to know that not only did a gaggle of internet strangers have my back, but there were resources and protections in my community as well.

Catalina posted:

Tree Law Karma. Oh God, that's the stuff, inject it right into my veins, please:


Update:

Catalina posted:

Tree Law Karma. Oh God, that's the stuff, inject it right into my veins, please:


Update:

SHY NUDIST GRRL posted:

It does. I never learned to swim.

therobit posted:

I can't remember away what point in my relationship with my wife I would have known about the period stained granny panties, but it was long before we lived together. How you could live with a woman and be that clueless is beyond me.

I remember hearing when I read a teenager that if you aren't man enough to buy your own condoms at the drug store, you have no business having sex. I would like to amend that to "if you can't buy tampons at the grocery store without embarrassment, don't have sex." I think it would cut down on these morons who apparently know nothing about gross icky periods. You know that guy has to suck in bed.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Dude at work was going on and on yesterday about how gross 'that time' was and how he wished we could bring back the days of making a woman just not be around anyone when 'that' was going on. He loudly stated how 'unnatural' the entire thing was. I almost believed he was joking until he snapped that no, it was really gross and men 'shouldn't have to deal with that.'

A straight dude, married to a woman for ten years, who refused to get a vasectomy because he didn't trust any doctor not to gently caress poo poo up, but seriously wanted his 35 year old wife to get a hysterectomy so he wouldn't have to worry about condoms and birth control pills because he didn't want kids.

Beachcomber posted:

I want someone to make a club out of those trees and beat themhim to pulp with it. TheyHe should look like rocket victims from the original DooM.

Catalina posted:

Tree Law Karma. Oh God, that's the stuff, inject it right into my veins, please:


Update:

empty sea posted:

Tree law is literally the loving best. Also magnolias are gorgeous, wtf was that bride thinking? Let's make a pretty wedding photos with sawed off stumps in the background instead of this beautiful old tree!!

My Linux Rig posted:

I literally don’t care enough to do this, sorry

empty sea posted:

Tree law is literally the loving best. Also magnolias are gorgeous, wtf was that bride thinking? Let's make a pretty wedding photos with sawed off stumps in the background instead of this beautiful old tree!!

quote:

Dear Prudence,
My partner and I are both in our late 30s and have been together for a few years. I’m uncomfortable with the way he looks at attractive women when we’re together, and it makes me wonder just how overt he is when I’m not with him. He looks like a little boy on Christmas morning when a pretty girl walks by. But how do I gauge whether I’m just being sensitive and silly and expecting a man to not look at women he finds attractive? When I mention my discomfort, he points out that men tend to look at me too. But I feel like I go numb and pretend it isn’t happening when he smiles at other girls and they seem to be affected by him. It’s confusing because I feel like it falls under the “boys will be boys” way of thinking, and I’m tired of buying into that as an excuse for rude behavior in adult men.
—Just Looking

ArbitraryC posted:

Is there a reason people itt post dear prudence questions without the answers? I've never seen an article where both weren't included.

Pirate Radar posted:

Dear Prudence, I’m Living in a Meme:

quote:

He’s(24m) sleeping next to me(25f), snoring off his drunken stupor. He got really intoxicated and the subject of being gay came up, mutual friends discussing a man who left his wife and kids for a man to be exact. I said “that’s awful” and he said “what’s so awful about that?” And I said “not the gay part, but hurting your wife and kids and not being honest. I understand, but you have to look at both sides.”

Anyways he continues to drink and well it comes out that “he’s messed around with a guy” once we were alone, I pressed him for more information on the subject and he shut down 100%. Got drunk, cried a little bit about some family drama and passed out. He wouldn’t tell me anything so I went through his phone. It’s obviously been wiped but I found out how to look at which sites he’s been using his data on and one is youporngay dot com.

Im so hurt and confused, not by his sexuality but the lies and what this means for us. [biI don’t want to just be some cover or his experiment while he figures himself out.[/b] And I really don’t want this to be over like I love him. Everything was going so well and I was falling for him so hard- he tells me he loves me all the time and literally we have sex five times a day I would have never guessed that he was gay..

What do I do? He’s my bosses son, his sister is my manager. A break up is going to be awful. Things were so perfect, why would he do this? I feel used, unimportant and lied to. He’s my best friend we are together 99.9% of the time and he’s constantly calling texting and looking for me when we are apart.

I understand it’s not easy coming out to people, but i don’t get stringing other people along in the mean time. Bisexual? Okay, but why freak out and lie about it if that’s all it is and say “conversation over”.

I understand this post is a poo poo show and I’m sorry, it’s 2 am here I haven’t slept since 6 am and I’m just idek what to do right now. I want what’s best for him, I want him to be honest with me and himself. But I have no idea what I’m even supposed to say in the morning once he wakes up. How I even handle this situation. I screen shot what I found and am considering just sending that to him when he tries to say “I was just drunk I didn’t really do that.” Tomorrow, which I’m sure he will. this doesn’t change how much he means to me, I’d still do anything for him. I’ll always be here to listen and help, but i really didn’t want to lose him. Sucks that I most likely have to..

TL;DR just found out my boyfriend prefers men sexually and I’m not taking it very well. No clue how to handle this situation.

ArbitraryC posted:

Can't speak for everyone but my first response is "what was the response" and I google it while being mildly annoyed it wasn't included.

Didn't really mean to call you out directly I've just noticed it's a thing and can't really wrap my head around why people do it.

SirSamVimes posted:

Is it okay if I'm like this, full head swivel and all but for cute dogs instead of attractive people?

SirSamVimes posted:

Is it okay if I'm like this, full head swivel and all but for cute dogs instead of attractive people?

quote:

[–]Throwaway15439452163[S] [score hidden] 16 hours ago
All his friends and family know me. I've met them multiple times and they don't understand why he is actively hiding it either. That's why I don't think he's in any way still with her