Blade Runner posted:

So which unlucky goon turns out to be the groom when they get there

Hellblazer187 posted:

Weddings are dumb, destination weddings are turbo dumb. Get a notary and two witnesses, go somewhere beautiful but local, and be done with it.

Blade Runner posted:

So which unlucky goon turns out to be the groom when they get there

Hellblazer187 posted:

Oh lol that's how I got away with it.

Pick posted:

I'm too good for y'all

ArbitraryC posted:

I don't really get the point of destination weddings in general, why not just spend that money on your honeymoon?

Elderbean posted:

For the price of a destination wedding you could stay somewhere gorgeous and be a loving downright hedonist about it.

quote:

So, a little bit of background: My fiancé and I are recently engaged, as are his close friend (let's say John) and his fiancé (let's say Marie). We are planning to get married next year, as are they. John has already asked that my fiancé be in his wedding party. Additionally, John and my fiancé are already committed to being groomsmen in another wedding that is also happening next year. The timing is obviously not ideal, as next year will be very expensive in terms of participating in other people's weddings and planning our own.

The problem: My fiancé recently got an invitation from John and Marie for their wedding. Turns out, they decided to do a destination wedding in Cancun to keep their costs low. That's cool, their choice. However, anyone with a basic understanding of economics can gather that their costs are low because their guests essentially subsidize costs for them. Their wedding planner provided some quotes for us, and cost amounted to $3500 with the wedding block discount and "cheap" flights. From my perspective, if you have a destination wedding, it is 100% fair for your guests to not attend, and you're not allowed to be upset about it. Also, you have to be upfront about costs before asking people to be in your wedding party because the cost is way higher than it would be if they got married closer to home. My fiancé was asked before John even proposed, and of course he said yes, because who would say no?

I cannot justify us spending this insane amount of money, as well as vacation time, on someone else's wedding. And with the specific circumstances, John and Marie are either ignorant to the real cost or they are just being douchey. My fiancé is expected to go, and I will be his wife by then so I feel it's weird if only he goes. John knows that he and my fiancé are already in another wedding party earlier in the year, which incurs cost in itself (bachelor party, tux, etc. - probably at least $500, optimistically). Not to mention our own wedding costs. And the fact that my fiancé only gets 10 days of vacation and cannot spend them on someone else's vacation. We need those days to visit my family who is 2000 miles away, and I will be very hurt if he skips time with my family during the holidays next year, as he has already suggested. He has also suggested using unpaid time off, but with all of these extra costs that makes absolutely zero sense. We also discussed only him going, but that only brings cost down to around $2000 (not even including groomsman costs) because we lose out on some of the discounts (i.e., single occupancy is more expensive per person than double occupancy).

So my question is, how can my fiancé confront John about the money issue? John has made it clear that he expects my fiancé to be there. And John and Marie have showcased their mentality of "people who actually care about us will make the effort to show up," which makes people feel lovely if they can't come. Needless to say, my fiancé is nervous about confronting the issue because he doesn't want to deal with a big fight.

Note: this is not the first time John and Marie have pulled this stunt. For John's last birthday, they made us pony up hundreds of dollars and a weekend to go to some expensive mountain resort. Again, it was expected that we go because we "care" about John. When we brought up the issue, it resulted in a fight, mostly from Marie acting like a child.

I am also upset that my fiancé is prioritizing his friend's entitlement and extravagance over our real lives (i.e., spending time with family, paying student loans, paying off his car, saving for a house, regular bills, etc.). Has anyone else dealt with this issue successfully? Each time I try to discuss it with him, he dismisses my concerns and says we should discuss it later and that I should just not think about it. I'm so stressed and have no idea how to deal with it.

TL/DR: Planning own wedding, so is fiancé's friend. Friend expects us to shell out $3500 to see him get married in Cancun because we would "if we really cared". We don't have that kind of money to spend on someone else's wedding. Fiancé trying to cut corners to pay for friend's wedding. How can we confront friend about costs, and how can I confront fiancé about him not thinking about our real lives/needs?

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

I'd love to be a fly on the wall for the conversation trying to get some wedding money out of your folks.

ArbitraryC posted:

I don't really get the point of destination weddings in general, why not just spend that money on your honeymoon?

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

Receptions are fun, but there's nothing fun about the actual Wedding.

ArbitraryC posted:

I don't really get the point of destination weddings in general, why not just spend that money on your honeymoon?

Big Dick Energy posted:

Big Dick Energy posted:

gently caress can we stop giving this pick oval office attention. bitch needs a good dicking but since no one wants her gnarly twat irl we have to endure her lovely fuckin posts.

Big Dick Energy posted:

gently caress can we stop giving this pick oval office attention. bitch needs a good dicking but since no one wants her gnarly twat irl we have to endure her lovely fuckin posts.

Big Dick Energy posted:

get raped

Pick posted:

I'm too good for y'all

Pick posted:

I don't ask my parents for money??

Depressio111117 posted:

My immediate family and my boyfriend’s immediate family are scattered all over the country. No matter where we get married, it’s going to be a destination wedding for more people than not, so why not get married in Hawaii?

therobit posted:

OTOH most angry, sex starved shut-ins actually do not murder people.

Depressio111117 posted:

Here in this thread of making fun of brokebrained idiots, alas, we have created one

quote:

I'll preface this by saying my husband lives with mental illness. He has been medicated and living a very happy, healthy life for the past 15 years, never misses his medication and it is extremely rare he has any complications and when he does they are minor. However, before he was medicated he'd suffer from hallucinations and violent outbursts. Please don't tell me to flee my husband, I will not. We are a unit for better or worse, I know him, trust him and love him.

My husband and my closest friend who I'll call Sara have been at odds for the past few weeks due to an argument caused by her breaking a laptop he had lent her and me taking his side. Despite this, we invited Sara over for a Halloween party with our close friends we were having a few days ago as I wanted to keep the peace and get things back to normal. The night was going well until my husband overheard Sara telling a mutual friend that she had made a fair amount of money selling items online and followed her into the kitchen to privately ask her if that meant she could replace his laptop. Sara got upset that he'd ask her at the party which led to both of them raising their voices, and I intervened.

This led to a blow-up with Sara yelling at both myself and my husband, accusing him of driving a wedge between the two of us (incredibly untrue, she did that herself) and calling my husband greedy and all sorts of names. My husband told her to leave our home, and excused himself from the room to calm down and interact with our other friends. Sara and I had a brief argument where she called me a bad friend for not sticking up for her, at which point I also asked her to leave and joined everyone else.

Sara left a few minutes later and everything was great. My husband went back into the kitchen to get his mug and within minutes he started becoming increasingly agitated, sweating and dealing with visual hallucinations similar to how his mental health episodes used to manifest. We excused ourselves to our bedroom to talk and he became incredibly distressed and ordered me to leave. I did, and minutes later he tore the door off the bedroom and came downstairs screaming at everyone and throwing things. My husband is normally very strong man, and when he deals with these outbursts he becomes unnaturally strong, it took all our male friends to subdue him and calm him down.

Our friends have been incredibly understanding. They stayed with us until he regained his composure and have been in touch 24/7 since. All of them have said how incredibly out of character this was for him. Again, he has never, ever missed his medication, never drinks alcohol or takes drugs and has not had an incident like this in a very long time. The reason I suspect Sara is that she uses hallucinogenic drugs in her personal life, was the only one left unattended with his mug in the kitchen after their argument and has been radio silent since this event, she hasn't answered mutual friends either. Sara also knew of his mental illness and made several comments to me that night about how he was "crazy". I believe this was an attempt by her to get me to distrust my husband. Once again, this is incredibly out of character for him, he is not careless at all.

My husband is once again functioning as he should, but he is incredibly depressed. He has called off of work and stays in bed apologizing to me, he feels like he has personally failed as a partner and all his hard work over the years is for nothing. He keeps telling me he'd understand if I left him. How do I convince my husband I love him and believe him, and that I'm not going anywhere? It kills me to see him like this, what can I do to make him feel valued, loved and assure him that he is still every bit the man I have loved and I don't fear or resent him? How can I encourage him to go to a doctor to see if Sara did this, and how do I thank our friends for supporting my husband and I?

TL;DR strongly suspect jilted friend drugged my husband to trigger his mental illness. Husband is inconsolable and I need to know how to support him.

Edit I'm also not alone in my assumption. The vast majority of mutual friends between Sara, my husband and I share my suspicions.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [32F] Suspect My Best Friend Of Drugging My Husband [35M] Over an Argument


Hm yeah your friend managed to have a small amount of drugs on her that just happen to kick in in 10 minutes after drinking and exactly mirror a breakdown by your husband.

:thinkface:

BloodRed posted:

Pick turns another man insane

bell jar posted:

more like big pick energy

Big Dick Energy posted:

.

Blade Runner posted:

Alright guy your kid is creepy as poo poo