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May 9, 2024 03:52
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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Destination weddings turn into shitshows when people are stupid spoiled assholes.
Pro-tip from Blarzgh:
- Get married at a reasonably priced resort in Mexico.
- Plane Tix + room and board for guests is like affordable for anyone who really wants to go, and costs enough that anyone who doesn't has a tailor-made excuse to politely decline.
- 100% of the planning and execution are done for you - zero stress, free food and drinks all day and all night, beautiful beaches, free live shows, cave diving and loving giant iguanas!
- Free vacation for anyone who decides to stay a few days, a weekend commitment for anyone who's just passing through.
- Free honeymoon for you and your spouse after everyone leaves.
- you wind up with a small ceremony, and really just your closest friends and family, all having the time of your life.
It was all my wife's idea so she gets the credit, but honestly it was the best week of my life and I'll never forget it. Best decision we ever made.
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Nov 2, 2018 05:21
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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We spent less on the entire wedding than most people spend renting btheir goddamn venue.
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Nov 2, 2018 05:23
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Destination weddings turn into shitshows when people are stupid spoiled assholes.
Pro-tip from Blarzgh:
- Get married at a reasonably priced resort in Mexico.
- Plane Tix + room and board for guests is like affordable for anyone who really wants to go, and costs enough that anyone who doesn't has a tailor-made excuse to politely decline.
- 100% of the planning and execution are done for you - zero stress, free food and drinks all day and all night, beautiful beaches, free live shows, cave diving and loving giant iguanas!
- Free vacation for anyone who decides to stay a few days, a weekend commitment for anyone who's just passing through.
- Free honeymoon for you and your spouse after everyone leaves.
- you wind up with a small ceremony, and really just your closest friends and family, all having the time of your life.
It was all my wife's idea so she gets the credit, but honestly it was the best week of my life and I'll never forget it. Best decision we ever made.
What resort? My wife and I like to go sometime warm over presidents day every year, and cave diving sounds awesome.
therobit fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Nov 2, 2018
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Nov 2, 2018 05:24
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Nobody will ever be impressed by or care about how you did your boring weddings 'correctly', or your "pro-tips", goons. Not even if they involve lizard loving.
Me [36F] with my husband [40M] Husband has been seeing a male prostitute for friendship? Need help understanding.
quote:I'm 36, and my husband's 40, we have a 15-year-old daughter.
He admitted last night that he'd been going to a male prostitute's to "talk" and have a few beers, and even gave me his mobile number! My husband also said no sex was involved and that he had issues he couldn't discuss with me but that he could with this guy.
Now I know where he went when he said he was with the guys from work.
I phoned the number when he was out at work and some Latino man answered, and he said, sure enough, no sex was involved, they were just boozing and watching NASCAR. He said he was shocked to discover that I was his wife, he didn't mention a wife to him when they'd met in a local gas station shop. He then told me that he was a cool guy, everything was about beer and nachos and sports/DVDs. The guy told me he sometimes gets wealthy female clients - he's a male who sleeps only with women, but finds his relationship with my husband special and emotionally satisfying, said it's a proper guys' friendship, and said to me "It's all on the level, don't worry, I'm just a friend. Guys need down time, guy time!". He even invited me and my husband to his Christmas party at his flat, which surprised me no end!
The man also told me that no money changed hands; it's a friendship, simple as.
Is this a friendship or something else, or a friendship that I dont need to be concerned about, or is this an issue I should be concerned about further?
As it is, our sex life is generally good on the whole, so I don't think sex is a motivation here. Especially as the prostitute is straight.
What is his game plan? I don't understand it... I have tried asking him but he just says "we're the guys, having some fun and guy stuff".
Is this an odd friendship and do I need to be concerned? I mean if I made friends with a female prostitute and spent all my time with her, the boot being on the other foot so to speak, wouldn't he complain about it or find it a bit weird?
Where do I take this from here? Why would a married man need to go to a male prostitute for friendship?
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Nov 2, 2018 05:35
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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Nobody will ever be impressed by or care about how you did your boring weddings 'correctly', or your "pro-tips", goons. Not even if they involve lizard loving.
Me [36F] with my husband [40M] Husband has been seeing a male prostitute for friendship? Need help understanding.
I wonder how much he's paying. Asking for me, because I don't have a friend to ask for.
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Nov 2, 2018 05:45
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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The husband claims there’s no sex happening and no money changing hands and that his friend is a straight sex worker anyway... so why even mention that he’s a sex worker? Hmmmmmmmmmm
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Nov 2, 2018 06:08
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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Nobody will ever be impressed by or care about how you did your boring weddings 'correctly', or your "pro-tips", goons. Not even if they involve lizard loving.
He said, literally one post after a goon was impressed by another goon's wedding post
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Nov 2, 2018 06:16
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Look I'm just trying to head off the latest multipage derail on what soda each and every blowhard in the thread prefers or their experience with various brands of tube socks, which'll just blow up all over again when Pick says something like "Adidas? Feh, just like a man." You're either part of the solution to tedious cataloguings of the minutiae of goon lives or you're part of the problem.
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Nov 2, 2018 06:22
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- Taima
- Dec 31, 2006
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tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know
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We got married in the local church, had our reception at the local fancy hotel, and spent our honeymoon going to various theme parks. We didn't do the cake shoving thing because we noticed that people who do end up divorced, primarily because they don't respect each other. No one had to max out credit cards, take out loans, or bankrupt themselves for it.
Somehow, we've been married for 36 years.
Wait you're like 70 and post in the r/relationships thread? lol
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Nov 2, 2018 06:28
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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And here I thought every place had plenty of pretty, affordable and local tourist traps to get married at.
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Nov 2, 2018 06:31
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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Look I'm just trying to head off the latest multipage derail on what soda each and every blowhard in the thread prefers
Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Nov 2, 2018
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Nov 2, 2018 06:32
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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My boyfriend [23m] is a huge stickler for rules and laws. I'm [22f] the opposite
quote:My boyfriend Tommy is a huge stickler for rules, he had really strict parents, and feels genuinely uncomfortable breaking a rule or social norm. He's never really been in a situation where he felt like rules were unjust, he basically thinks they're there for a reason.
On the other hand, my mom who raised me on her own taught me to question everything. To give you an idea of her personality... The first time I was called for jury duty, she taught me about jury nullification. (Basically, if you believe the person committed the crime they were accused of, but you think the law is unjust, you can choose to say 'not guilty') We also did some not quite legal stuff to get by, like trespassing to dumpster dive.
We also did a bit of urban exploration into abandoned buildings for fun, I was really into photography as a teen, and some of my best memories with my mom involve sneaking around and taking pictures. My mom was totally cool with me cutting school if there was something like a bullshit pep rally going on, but taught me to always go to my actual classes, and work hard in them.
It's not like I'm totally disregarding every rule, and just doing whatever. I do have a moral code, it just centers around being kind, and helping people, and having compassion, rather than following the letter of the law.
This difference between my boyfriend and I has started to show up in little ways. I can give a few examples.
When I was in college, there was an all-you-can-eat dining hall. You could use meal passes to get in, or to bring a guest in. However, students living on campus were required to buy some minimum number of meal passes, so many that most people would have ones left over by the end of the semester. No refunds allowed for unused meal passes, of course. I thought that policy took advantage of students.
I started offering some of the homeless people in my college town a pass into the cafeteria, especially on cold days, so they could get a warm meal and a place to sit for a while. Sometimes I'd sit and chat for a bit, but I often couldn't stick around because I was busy with school. That technically violated the rule about having to stay with your non-student guests. But I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, I was just giving away meal passes that I paid for but knew I wouldn't use myself. My boyfriend was super uncomfortable with me doing that, he literally wouldn't be willing to walk with me while I did this. He was really worried about me getting in trouble.
Another thing was that, after I'd graduated, I would use my student ID anywhere that offered student discounts. Like while clothes shopping. When I did it in front of him, he got really antsy and told me that he was really uncomfortable with me doing that poo poo in front of him.
I also have a habit of politely asking for free upgrades on things like flight seats and hotel rooms. I always take it graciously if I'm told no, but I've gotten upgrades surprisingly often, like getting moved to an open first class seat, just from being kind and asking nicely. Tommy doesn't like that either; he says I'm just asking to get things I didn't pay for, for free. Like he's not wrong, but I don't feel weird about it like he does.
I'll still dumpster dive on occasion; I live in an area with lots of college students who will throw some nice stuff out because it's too inconvenient to move when the semester ends. I absolutely know Tommy wouldn't be cool with standing watch while I do that, so I'll usually go with a friend.
I don't really know how to compromise on this. I've tried to not do the more egregious stuff in front of him, but he hasn't really loosened up about the little things.
TLDR - My boyfriend is a stickler for rules, and I'm the opposite. Is there a way to meet in the middle?
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Nov 2, 2018 06:34
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Look I'm just trying to head off the latest multipage derail on what soda each and every blowhard in the thread prefers or their experience with various brands of tube socks, which'll just blow up all over again when Pick says something like "Adidas? Feh, just like a man." You're either part of the solution to tedious cataloguings of the minutiae of goon lives or you're part of the problem.
It doesn't matter what brand they are as long as they're toe socks, it keeps the smell down.
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Nov 2, 2018 06:37
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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Holy gently caress, the comments on that are a total loving garbage fire. Lots of people making GBS threads on the homeless for existing and the OP for being cheap.
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Nov 2, 2018 07:16
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- Lemming
- Apr 21, 2008
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Holy gently caress, the comments on that are a total loving garbage fire. Lots of people making GBS threads on the homeless for existing and the OP for being cheap.
That's stupid, everyone should steal from rich corporations because they steal from you
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Nov 2, 2018 07:22
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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That's stupid, everyone should steal from rich corporations because they steal from you
Apparently it's mostly just LOCAL BUSINESSES that do student discounts. (wtf??? sure as hell not my experience) Also homeless people are all insane thieving murderers who just want in the door to harm poor, innocent white students. You say entitled white college bros are probably more dangerous? Well, there are fewer of them than women in college, so nyah, I guess???
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Nov 2, 2018 07:24
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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My wife [29F] was crying on the anniversary of her past fiancé’s death.
quote:u/bondjames-bond
I am 33M, and I have been married to my wife for 7 months. She is 6 months pregnant.
We have known each other for 14 years. We first started dating 13 years ago. We had an on and off again relationship. Our first relationship lasted from when I was 20 to when I was 22. We broke up because of a stupid argument. Our second relationship lasted from when I was 23/24 to when I was 26. We ended on mutual terms that time, because of our busy lives. But trust me, she was my first love and the only woman I have been in love with. Almost all the happiest memories in my life were with her.
About 2 months after we broke up the second time, she began dating another man. He was around my age. I remember that he and I looked quite similar. We were both tall and blond, blue eyed, athletic physique. They dated for 7 months before getting engaged. Of course I was devastated. I was barely over her and she was getting married to another man. She seemed to be so in love with him.
1 month after they became engaged, they were in a car accident together. He was the driver and was killed instantly by a drunk driver on the highway. She got a concussion and a few broken ribs but was fine. After, she acted strangely. I knew because Im friends with her brother in law. He told me that she basically acted like her fiance never existed. I actually connected with her and visited her in the hospital. She seemed really shaken up but surprisingly calm. I agree her calm attitude was a bit strange. She never mentioned his name.
Three months after his death, she began dating someone else. A string of short relationships followed. Then, about 4 years after our second break up, and 3 years after her fiancés death, we got back together. She told me that I was her first love, and her only love. She told me that nobody else compared to me. She never, ever mentioned her previous fiancé.
Six months after we started dating again, my older brother died from a mugging. His pregnant wife miscarried. She helped me mourn and was a rock during those hard times. We got married 7 months ago. About 2 months after our wedding, my father passed from pancreatic cancer. Again, she comforted me and my family through this time.
Yesterday, I found her sobbing into her pillow like she has never cried before. Im talking loud, gut wrenching sobs. I asked her what was wrong. She told me everything was wrong. She said it was the anniversary of her past fiancés death. It was the first time she had ever mentioned him to me. She said that she had a dream about the day he proposed to her, it was basically a reliving of that day, that it felt so real to her. She even dreamed that she was pregnant with HIS kid. She said she was sorry, but for some reason amidst all the tragedies she’s been thinking more and more of her fiancé.
I askd her if she was in love with him. She said she was. It hurt me, to be quite honest, knowing that I’m not the only man my wife’s been in love with. But I told her that it was okay, that I understood her pain. She then spilled so many things, that she felt really guilty about getting married and being pregnant when my sister in law had lost her husband and her baby, that she missed my father and it made her worry about her own parents, that she wants to go back to a time before all this pain and loss and heartbreak.
Im worried for her. It has been a day and she’s still in bed. She won’t get up except to go to the bathroom. And I found out that she had kept her fiances engagement ring to her as well as a polaroid of them together. I saw her holding the items last night.
My heart breaks for her. I havent had a easy couple of years but she hasnt either. What should I do? Should I encourage her to get therapy? I am, but she has refused to go. I am also getting confusing feelings of jealousy towards her dead fiancé, which is troubling and strange.
TL;DR: Wife had a breakdown yesterday, the anniversary of her past fiancés death. Im worried for her and for myself.
Her body is going through pregnancy and it sounds like you live in a soap opera so she’s doing quite well all things considered.
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Nov 2, 2018 09:39
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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My boyfriend(m22) just called me(f21) from work and broke down; i feel useless.
quote:u/blueberrysel
I’m a very emotional person. I cried over the ugly duckling literally just last night because he did not deserve that ok. My boyfriend is like total opposite of me when it comes to stuff like that. You know that scene in toy story 3 where the thing almost happened?? I was bawling, he just went “drat that almost sucked.”
He’s not emotionally inept, but it just takes a lot for him to drop a tear, and I’m totally okay with it. He explains it like he’s more realistic, as in he knows the movie isn’t real, he knows commercials are fake, he knows the book is fiction, so why bother over it kinda mind set. I guess it’s a little better this way as he’s more in control and calm enough to help me when an ASPCA commercial fucks me up (We adopted two cats).
His job is really intense sometimes. He works mostly night shifts in an emergency room, so he gets some really wild people come in as well as some really sad things happen on the clock. He doesn’t really talk about it much to me, only the crazy ones like “this guy deadass got his foreskin stuck in his zipper” but never the sad ones. I only know if he mentions it in passing like “oh yeah now that you mentioned this crazy weird disease, someone came in last night and turns out they have it. Life’s crazy.”
Just a few hours ago, however, he called me and told me some really hosed up poo poo that just went down. He sounded angry then in disbelief and then really sad. He sounded like he was crying. What happened really messed me up too and i didn’t know what to say to him or how to help him, and before i could even put my words together he just took a deep breath and says “okay babe i have to go now, I’ll see you later” and then hung up.
I’ve literally never seen him break down like this and we’ve been together for five years now. I realize that he’s maybe kept a lot from me about his job or maybe shut it down completely until tonight where it just got to him. I’m scared when i see him, he’s going to dismiss it but I’m also scared if he does bring it up, i wouldn’t know what to do. I’ve never been on this end of the situation and it’s making me feel lovely that i can’t even put some words together to get him through a tough night.
He literally texted me a few minutes ago “sorry i told you all of that it was just really heavy” then two minutes later he sent me a meme. He’s so baffling sometimes.
Tl;dr my boyfriends job is taking a toll on him but i didn’t realize how much until he called me crying. He’s quickly bounced back but i don’t know how to console him or bring it up again.
Boyfriend awesome, so what.
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Nov 2, 2018 09:45
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- Motherfucker
- Jul 16, 2011
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I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
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My boyfriend [23m] is a huge stickler for rules and laws. I'm [22f] the opposite
Dump this sack of poo poo before he hits the 25 years old mark and the lack of meaningful life experiences and constant societal reinforcement of his lovely stunted worldview drives him to extreme right wing views and you're eventually forced to break up with him after he unironically has an argument with you about how black people wouldn't be victimized if they just did what the cops told them to do.
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Nov 2, 2018 09:53
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- Splicer
- Oct 16, 2006
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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How old is this person that they pay with checks? Like is this that Vampire Dad again, bumbling in the modern world?
I screwed up and I'm about to lose everything [NY]
quote:
I know I'm a dumbass so please reserve your moral judgements.
My wife just found out that I have been having an affair and I assume she will soon be filing for divorce. We have a prenup with an infidelity clause that leaves the cheating party with next to nothing. I'd walk away with enough to survive but I'd have to put in a lot of effort to get back to where I was financially. At this point, I'm trying to come up with strategies to prevent her from taking everything from me.
1) I have working through our whole marriage, she stopped working when our first kid was born 4 years ago. She has made no financial contributions since then. Can I use this fact to claim money from accounts that were filled with my paychecks? Can I drain any accounts before she files as long as I leave her enough to live?
2) Can she come after me for money I spent on my girlfriend?
3) I'm sure she will get primary custody of our kids, especially our youngest who is still breastfeeding. Since she will get almost all of our assets, can I use this to negotiate low or no child support? She definitely wouldn't need more than what she would have, especially if she went back to work.
Are there any other ways I can prevent being sucked dry? Splicer fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Nov 2, 2018
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Nov 2, 2018 09:59
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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I screwed up and I'm about to lose everything [NY]
I guess he's *marginally* preferable to the other guy in that he at least pays lip service to the idea of the kids being provided for since he thinks she'll end up with all the assets. Other than that though, LOL, don't sign an infidelity clause then get a girlfriend, THEN spend tons of money on her
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Nov 2, 2018 10:48
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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That's normal
quote:
She is 6 months pregnant
It's even expected
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Nov 2, 2018 11:04
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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Could someone link vampire dad? I skipped a bunch of pages. Here's a hopefully unposted r/legaladvice as incentive
I screwed up and I'm about to lose everything [NY]
lol I hope this sack of poo poo tries to empty all of their joint accounts and that he tries to weasel out of child support, he's going to get his dick crushed by the judge's gavel and it'll be hilarious
quote:
Are there any other ways I can prevent being sucked dry?
That's how you got into this mess in the first place!!
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Nov 2, 2018 11:31
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- The Ferret King
- Nov 23, 2003
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cluck cluck
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"Did my friend drug my husband?" I ask, as I post from my office on Reddit instead of from the emergency room where I took my presumably poisoned husband because I'm so genuinely concerned for his physical and mental health.
Have these people never heard of hospitals.
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Nov 2, 2018 11:39
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- chippy
- Aug 16, 2006
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OK I DON'T GET IT
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I'm on page 641 and I don't think I'm going to be able to catch up with the thread, so I'm saying hi to myself in the future.
Also how is that new baby going? Remember when you only had one baby? Haha I do sucker.
I'm on page 2061 I just found this, and I'm determined to get to the end so I'm posting to say hi to my future self and also to say that Pick owns and I hope she still posts in this thread.
Also stfu Mirthless, Three Olives.
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Nov 2, 2018 11:45
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- PizzaProwler
- Nov 4, 2009
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Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.
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Have these people never heard of hospitals.
We've heard of them, but we just can't afford them.
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Nov 2, 2018 11:53
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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I'm on page 2061 I just found this, and I'm determined to get to the end so I'm posting to say hi to my future self and also to say that Pick owns and I hope she still posts in this thread.
Also stfu Mirthless, Three Olives.
If you think Mirthless was bad have you got a journey ahead of you
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Nov 2, 2018 11:59
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- avshalemon
- Jun 28, 2018
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i am getting married to the zeitgeist
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Nov 2, 2018 12:12
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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i am getting married to the zeitgeist
Mazel tov
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Nov 2, 2018 12:23
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- andrew smash
- Jun 26, 2006
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smooth soul
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My [36F] boss [50F] keeps falling asleep when I talk.
posted:
Hi Reddit-
Kind of an absurd problem, I suppose, but it's starting to get under my skin and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I'm on mobile; sorry in advance if I make some typos.
So, like the title says, my boss keeps falling asleep when I talk. Let me just start off by saying I'm a super engaging speaker and I'm pretty sure there nothing weird about my voice. It's a loud voice, actually. Sometimes the stuff I have to talk about is dry because I deal with a lot of numbers, but these are numbers that she needs to know. If it matters, I'm the head of a department, she is the COO. We work in an office environment.
This has happened during a company-wide presentations she has asked me to do (that I work very hard on), during department meetings, and today it happened in a meeting I called with just her and I and our CEO. She could barely keep her eyes open. It doesn't seem to matter what time of day it is; if I'm speaking she's nodding off. And she's missing pretty critical information that has impacted her ability to communicate to other departments effectively what is going on in my department, which I REALLY rely on her for.
A few other employees have started to take notice of her cat naps and have mentioned it to me. I don't know what to say. It's embarrassing.
So, do I say something? Do I call her out when it's happening? Let it go and laugh it off? What would you do?
TLDR: I lull my boss to sleep with my soft, soothing words and it makes me feel bad. What do?
I want this to be the world's most committed campaign to dunk on this OP but the boss probably just has bad sleep apnea.
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Nov 2, 2018 12:27
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
So, do I say something? Do I call her out when it's happening?
Oh for sure! That's a great idea!
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Nov 2, 2018 12:37
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 03:52
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Nov 2, 2018 03:53
Cat Army 
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