- value-brand cereal
- May 2, 2008
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Really hoping we get an update on this one
GF's dad filled out her mail-in ballot, forged her signature, and sent her a photo of the completed ballot with the caption 'If anybody asks, you voted.' (self.legaladvice)
Oh hey this happened to me! Except someone stole my absentee ballot from my mail box, and there was no paper trail like photos or admitting it. All I could do with go in person to the ballots and vote like that. The people there assured me voting that day would nullify the ballot vote even if it was received. I assume the people working the voting place knew what they were talking about.
Also I need an update to that one. Registering at a different address just to steal a vote? Holy poo poo. Report that poo poo.
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Nov 4, 2018 02:09
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 21:03
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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I assume the people working the voting place knew what they were talking about.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gMjoetUDoeE
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Nov 4, 2018 02:15
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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I [26F] have a co-worker [25F] who makes it clear she does not like me. Our office is hosting her a baby shower during work hours, I feel like I'm expected to buy her a gift
quote:I work in a small office of maybe 40 people. One of my co-workers has made it very clear she does not like me, for example there is another person with my name and in the office she loudly exclaims "do you mean the mean msrussia, or the nice one?". She even goes to my friends in the office and asks "do you really hang out with msrussia?". The other day she even passive aggressively called me out in our general office chat room, for running a meeting as she put it "incorrectly". The weird thing is I have hardly spoken to this women, and only about work.
The one thing I do not do, as others do, is give her the attention she very clearly craves. She's one of those people that talks a lot about herself and expects people to give her a reaction. During office meetings she will bring up personal things looking for praise or sympathy, etc. I now quite a bit about her even without actually interacting with her personally mostly because she is very loud and talks so much about herself. For example she has stating that she has no other friends outside of work (looking for sympathy from others). I find this behaviour obnoxious, juvenile, and unprofessional, and therefore do not react to it, nor have I ever gone out of my way to be friends with her when I first started. I like to keep work life and my personal life separate. I just keep to myself, do my work, and go home. This is a very temporary job (just doing it to pay the bills) which I leave in 3 weeks anyways, so I don't really care to make any lasting relationships.
So a couple months ago she announced to the whole office, again during an office meeting, that she is pregnant. She also was in my office the other day, telling me and another co-worker who was in the room, how she used to be an alcoholic before she got pregnant, how she feels she might want to go back to drinking and smoking once she has had the baby, and how she wishes she was strong enough to have an abortion before it got to this point (I believe she's at 6 months now). Again, way too personal information for me, and really unprofessional for a work setting.
So, because I presume she was correct, she has no other friends, 2 of our co-workers are hosting her a baby-shower during office hours. The other day, I was asked by my boss if I wanted to "go in on a present for her". Now I'd be fine pitching in $20 or so, but my boss wants to get her a large, expensive gift, that'll require pitching in way more than that. Also I'm a recent graduate, with tons of student loans, I live extremely frugally, and I'm saving for some big things like surgery coming up, and a cross-continental move!
So pretty much I really don't want to get this women a gift, first because she's passive aggressively mean to me, has voiced that opinion with my co-workers, and she doesn't even want her baby! I'm not sure what to do. I'm to the point where I'm thinking of faking sick that day to avoid work, but that's an 8 hour days of work I can't afford to lose! I think it's so unprofessional that we are even doing this! This shouldn't be an event during work hours, and shouldn't make us feel like it's mandatory.
Also should I talk to her about her behaviour towards me? I just want to know why she acts this way towards me. And I don't understand why the reason for the gossip she keeps spreading about me. I leave in 3 weeks so I really don't care what else happens in the office, I just want to know the reason behind all this behaviour and how/why I triggered it.
TLDR: Pretty much bullied by co-worker, but office is hosting her a baby-shower because she has no other friends (her own words) and I feel I'm expected to buy her a gift.
- Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes. English is second language.
Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses! This actually made me cry, because it was only yesterday that she was passive aggressive to me in the chat, and I was asked to pitch in for her gift today.
I just wanted to add, I really would just not give a gift, I just don't want to cause an awkward situation. If she's already telling people that "I'm the mean one", being the one that doesn't give her a gift might just fuel that fire and make other people think that she is right. I really don't want to give anything, and I'm now even thinking of ways to skip that day all together, call in sick or something, but I just can't afford to lose that day of work. Again thank you so much for your responses!
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Nov 4, 2018 02:28
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- value-brand cereal
- May 2, 2008
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Thanks! This youtube is absolutely useless!
I [26F] have a co-worker [25F] who makes it clear she does not like me. Our office is hosting her a baby shower during work hours, I feel like I'm expected to buy her a gift
Is giving a card so hard?
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Nov 4, 2018 02:33
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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My girlfriend [22/F] vandalized someone's home and I [23/M] want to tell someone, but she has blackmail on me.
quote:
On Halloween night, one of my neighbor's home was vandalized. It was teepeed, stink bombs were thrown through the window, and the worlds "Old oval office" were spray painted on the garage. The lady who lives there is an old lady that I've met before and she's honestly really nice. She would occasionally babysit me when I was younger and when she was more physically able and she was always a nice person to be around. Needless to say that she's really upset and she wants to know who did this and to also make sure that they get properly punished. For the next couple of days after the incident, I was also curious as to who did it, but today I found out it was my girlfriend.
I was at her place and we had just finished "fooling around". When we were finished, I went to pick up one of my shoes, which was halfway under her bed and when I went to get it, I noticed something: A can of spray paint. I picked it up and it felt nearly empty. My girlfriend noticed it and she instantly snatched it from me. From that, I knew it was her, but I had to be sure. I ran into her backyard, looked in her giant garbage bins, and found empty smoke bomb packages along with another empty can of spray paint. I confronted her about it and she admitted to vandalizing the home. She explained that she did it because the old lady had called the cops on her a couple of months ago. The whole situation was a complete misunderstanding. My girlfriend was standing in my front yard, waiting for me because we were planning on going out, but it was late at night and all the old lady saw was a dark figure loitering in my yard and she called the cops because my girlfriend looked suspicious. It was really embarrassing for my girlfriend. I was able to bail her out, but she still had to be taken away by the cops and questioned. This was all an act of revenge.
I told my girlfriend that I was going to tell the cops and the old lady, but then she hit me with the blackmail. She told me that if I told anyone, then she would tell my parents that I'm living with my friend at his house. Sorry if this is going all over the place with the side-stories, but here's my story: Almost a month ago, my dad kicked me out of my parents house. He was tired of me being 23 and still living with them and he just kicked me out and told me to make it on my own. I've been staying at a friend's house, whose parents have been kind enough to take me in and not tell my parents. It's been difficult, though. I told my parents that I'm renting an apartment in downtown and just a few weeks ago, I had to go to a different friend's apartment in downtown, ask him to stay out of the apartment for a couple of hours, and let me pretend that it was mine since my parents wanted to see the apartment for themselves. It worked, and the best part is that my parents HATE making the nearly hour-long drive to downtown from our suburban neighborhood, so I don't have to worry about them making surprise visits to that friend's apartment. My dad thinks I have an apartment in downtown, but he doesn't know that I'm really staying at my friend's house just a few blocks away from his house.
My dad is a very destructive and temperamental man. He has never gone as far as to physically abuse me or anyone else in the family, but he still has a short temper and his immediate response when he gets angry is to just grab whatever's in sight and destroy it. If he finds out where I am, you better believe that he'll come over and go into a rage. He doesn't like my friend that I'm staying with and he's openly said that his parents are "too soft" and "not good parents", so he'll have no qualms with raging at them and causing a scene.
That's what my girlfriend is willing to do to keep her secret safe. I want to tell people that it was my girlfriend who vandalized the house, but she knows that I'm staying with my friend and she's willing to spill the beans on me. What should I do? I can't risk my dad finding out and acting out the way he does. He'll go berserk at my friend's house and I can't let that happen to my friend or his parents since they've been so kind as to take me in, and there's obviously no telling what my dad will do to me. But on the other hand, informing people of her vandalism is the morally right thing to do and I can't let my girlfriend get away with such a sick act of petty revenge. What should I do?
tldr: Girlfriend vandalized a house and I'm the only one who knows. She's blackmailing me to make sure I don't rat her out.
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Nov 4, 2018 05:43
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- spookykid
- Apr 28, 2006
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I am an awkward fellow
after all
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That's a 90's sitcom plot right?
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Nov 4, 2018 06:06
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Why would you ever tell the person youre going to report on that youre going to do that? Thats how you end up dead. Goddamit its like none of you know how to set up a decades long revenge
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Nov 4, 2018 06:09
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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My girlfriend [22/F] vandalized someone's home and I [23/M] want to tell someone, but she has blackmail on me.
Girlfriend's a piece of poo poo if she's willing to harass an old woman over a misunderstanding and then threaten her boyfriend with his abusive, violent dad. JFC, how is she still a girlfriend?
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Nov 4, 2018 06:25
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Best Friend(16M) Helped Former Neighbor and Neighbor’s Friend (Both 19M) Take Nude Images of Me (16F)
quote:
u/saharaskies
A few months ago, my old neighbor (19M) had keys to my house, and while I was on vacation with my family, placed cameras to spy on me inside with the help of his friend and acquaintance of mine, also 19. My best friend, who is 16 like I am, found out about this and instead of telling me straight away, he went along with it and received several nudes images of me they had gotten from their cameras from a few months back. I feel extremely betrayed, angry, and violated by all three of them but especially my “best friend”. They had asked him for weeks if he wanted to see the images and he had always said no, but he gave in and then even asked for more. I was lucky I found out when I did, for the three of them were planning to break into my new apartment when my family wasn’t home and place in new cameras. I found out through my neighbor’s ex and immediately called the police, who caught my neighbor and his friend in the act of placing the new cameras, and arrested them both. The problem now is what to do about my “best friend”. He takes responsibility for what he’s done, but says he feels the older two boys persuaded him into it and used him to get what they wanted, which was my new address. I don’t want to press charges against him, but I’m not sure what to do. He was just as much a part of it as they were, despite telling them putting in cameras again was wrong, but still he did not tell me. Should I press charges against him?
TL;DR Best friend (16M) gave in to being sent nude images of me (16F) taken unbeknownst to me by my old neighbor (19M) and his friend (19M) and even proceeded to join them in trying to get more of me. The two older boys have since been arrested, and I don’t know whether to press charges against best friend or not.
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Nov 4, 2018 06:46
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- 504
- Feb 2, 2016
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by R. Guyovich
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Is giving a card so hard?
Uh, yes?
Why would you chip in to buy someone that is an absolute oval office to you everyday a gift?
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Nov 4, 2018 07:21
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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Uh, yes?
Why would you chip in to buy someone that is an absolute oval office to you everyday a gift?
OP already said they'd be OK pitching in a few dollars but they are expected to give way more than that
What kind of loving gift is this woman being given that $20 each from 40 people isn't enough to cover it? $800 buys one hell of a nice stroller or crib or whatever
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Nov 4, 2018 08:31
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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I [M28] had a stupid argument with friend [M28] I’m on vacation with (plus his gf [F28]). Feel trapped with this poo poo vibe for the rest of the trip.
Longtime friend of mines Mike is looking for apartments around Los Angeles. I figured it’d be a good opportunity for us to take a trip together, so I booked a flight and Airbnb for when he’d be looking around.
I come a day early, he’s delayed hanging with his GF who lives in San Diego. He heads up the day after along with her. Things are going well enough, we head out to breakfast the next day.
At some point Elon Musk comes up, I say something to the effect of he’s cool but acts like a jackass, bringing up the whole episode this past summer with the kids trapped in a cave in Thailand. Basically Musk tried to help out with a submarine designed to navigate a cave like that.
It didn’t work out, the divers saved the day, one of them called his submarine intervention a PR stunt, and he responded by calling the guy a pedophile, sticking to his guns up to the point of calling the man a child rapist based on the evidence that the guy in question is a white man living in Thailand.
To me it was a childish overreaction on account of his bruised ego. Mikes upset about the diver calling Musks efforts a PR stunt, talking about how every time somebody wants to help somebody wants to call it a PR stunt, and that they should just stay quiet especially in a case where the person is trying to save lives.
My position is, yeah he was trying to help but there was obviously a component of “Look at me” about Musks efforts. And that that doesn’t change the fact that he’s prone to jackass moments like that.
Mike then insists that Elon Musk is such a genius that he must’ve KNOWN that the man was a child rapist. because as a wealthy man he has the resources to uncover those secrets and it’s unlikely he would make such a severe baseless accusation.
This goes back and forth for a while, me saying that Musk may be a beast with science but is in no way infallible, to which Mike says I’m putting words in his mouth by suggesting that he thinks Musks is infallible. And all the time his GF is agreeing that Musk must’ve known what he was doing and that this was probably a very calculated self branding move instead of an outburst.
The debate finally burns off, but since then they’ve both been a bit distant. And I’m stuck in this Airbnb with em for another couple of days. And I’m not sure what to do here.
Tl;dr: On vacation with friend, had argument over whether or not Elon Musk is a genius that was correct in calling a cave diver a child rapist. Atmospheres gone sour. Stuck for next few days
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Nov 4, 2018 10:32
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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I (23F) think I got myself trapped in a bad relationship with my (41M) S.O.
I know, I know. But right off the bat, it's nothing to do with the age difference. We were good friends before we pursued a romantic relationship and the way we clicked was like movie soulmate crap. Our age difference has never bothered me.
Despite the age difference not bothering me the relationship I have with this guy is a secret, which is why I come here anonymously.
For a bit of context, we used to work in the same town so we'd see each other quite often. We were FWB for about 3 years until we decided we'd be an actual couple after an argument about a year and a half ago where I admitted that I had actual feelings towards him. I got a job in a different city so now we're about an hour away from each other and only see each other once a week.
The less time we have to spend together has been pulling my depression back over me, so my sex drive is lower. I'm less willing. But he misses me and gets excited when I come over so we usually end up gettin it on anyway unless I stay on the couch all night.
Eventually it started to hurt every time we had sex. I'd cry and ask him to stop, and he would. Eventually he stopped initiating and we got into a almost relationship-breaking argument where he compared me to his ex-wife (in that at least she'd finish him somehow) and I told him that all I felt like to him was an object he used to pleasure himself with.
I did reach out to a group and they all warned me, red flags and all that. But we kissed and made up, now there's "I love you"s exchanged and he was careful with me, for a while.
Since then he's been getting drunk every night I come over. He fell asleep while we were having sex once. While I was on top of him. I cried over half a pack of cigarettes and he laughed it off the next day. I had the nagging feeling that I should've left him when I had the chance but I ignored it because I love him. He's been there for me through some very difficult times.
But I think it's wearing on me. Lately he hasn't been stopping if I tell him it hurts. He just tells me to take it, for him. I had unsavory sexual things done to me by an ex and a couple ex-customers and he knows about it. But it doesn't stop him now.
When I went over last week he was already kind of drunk when I got there. Then he drank more and eventually passed out. He let me be in the morning and left for work. I was exhausted so I slept in for a while.
But he came back for his lunch break and woke me up to have his way with me. It hurt and I cried and begged him to stop, but he didn't. He's bigger and stronger than me so when I try to push him away he just pins me down anyway, so I just kind of have to let it happen. I've learned to zone myself out to try and ignore how much it hurts.
I ditched seeing him last week and told him that he needs to stop if I tell him to because it's been stressing me out so much. I'm losing sleep over it. I shouldn't have to drift myself off to a "Happy place" because it isn't normal. He apologized and said he's entranced by me, and that he gets excited when I'm vulnerable.
I was talking vaguely about this with one of my coworkers last week and he told me to "get the gently caress out of there". He said it's not healthy or normal. I was telling him how I'm torn in two because I really care about him and love him, but since he's been drinking so much he's been hurting me physically and emotionally and not doing anything to change it. My coworker said I'm strong and that I can get out of it. But I think I've just given up. I feel so empty but I'm so used to it. It's such a hollow embrace but I'd be so lonely without him. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'll drown either way.
tldr: SO is hurting me a lot during sex and won't stop when I tell him. Drinks a lot now. I love him and don't want to leave but God drat it's killing me.
Sorry if this is all kinda jumbled. I'm very sleep deprived.
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Nov 4, 2018 10:33
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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Ever since I [M24] was discharged from the psychiatric hospital, everyone has been treating me differently. Nobody will talk to me or each-other (when around me) anymore.
About a year ago I had a psychotic break and checked myself into the Psychiatric wing at Northwestern for two consecutive two week stays (immediately relapsed upon the first discharge). I had been smoking way too much weed and had gone too far in merging fact and fiction for my film school thesis project. I was massively delusional and picked a fight with the entire film department and eventually the entire school over an incident that had become an issue of gender ethics.
Mind you I was not delusional about the incident in question, I was simply experiencing delusions of grandeur thinking that everything was much bigger than it was. Doctors still haven't been able to figure me out, I've gotten multiple diagnoses in this past year and have not been able to find a medication that works for me.
After I was discharged I found myself out of a job, out of the student loan money that was paying my rent, and so shattered and lost that I had no plan to get me past the next few days. I had to move back home with my parents.
I spend almost all of my time with friends and family now in silence. We only talk very briefly about what's immediately in front of us and when people are discontent about something they don't bring it up and instead wait for it to boil over into an argument. I'm a punching bag and people take out their own issues on me because it's easy. I feel like I'm drifting further and further from reality as I sit in these quiet rooms with people glued to their screens and not connecting. It feels like I'm living in dystopic science fiction movie.
If I'm the one taking issue with this is it my fault? Are there just people in this world who talk a lot and those who hardly do? All I want out of life is to get into it with people, discuss things that matter, not just the weather or how I feel today. I don't know if this is something I'm just noticing or if things changed after I was hospitalized. Is this lack of IRL connection just a product of our modern times and I'm just now becoming discontent with it? It seems as if we have separate parts of ourselves that we save for the internet/texting vs IRL. People assume all human connection is just a given instead of finding ways to show it through words and actions. Is this just my life? I see people in public who seem to be connecting IRL just fine and their relationships seem meaningful and caring.
How come I truly believe that I am doing all the right things and being compassionate, loving, positive, and working toward helathy relationships, but everyone is literally telling me to my face every day that I am not and that I'm loving up everything that I try to accomplish.
I'm losing friends left and right these days. When I try to be open it alienates people. When I try to have some fun with my friends or family they think I'm just going through a manic phase and write me off. I just had someone who I considered a best friend bail on me for a very important birthday road trip three days before we were supposed to leave. On my birthday I had another friend lose it on me because I didn't want to sleep with another friend who's feelings he felt protective of.
Is this because so many of my friends smoke weed? I've decided to no longer be a smoker and am now realizing just how delusional some of these people are. Am I experiencing this frustration simply because I'm now realizing how messed up that part of my life has been?
Am I doing something wrong or am I befriending the wrong people? I try to take initiative but whenever I am anything but depressed I'm written off as manic.
But it's not just the smokers, it's my family too. I had to move back home temporarily and the way they treat me is almost more sheltering and careful than when I was 12. Nobody in my house talks to one another. My mother spends hours a day on her laptop browsing Amazon or whatever else, my dad works and when he comes home the furthest I've ever gotten in conversation with him was about as deep as you would get with a waiter. My sister hides in her room all day and before my brother went back to college he would do the same, never letting out more than a word or two unless he was angered enough to lash out (it's no secret our family has anger problems).
I've had more intimate conversations with cab drivers than I have ever had with a member of my family.
I don't even know how to wrap this up. I'm in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. My mother was refusing to do family therapy until faced with an ultimatum and even so she still refuses to do it with the entire family, just me, her, and dad. I just recently lost my job due to my mental illness. I have no way of moving out anytime soon and even when I can I have no way of affording an apartment in any of the cities I could live in on my own and I have nobody to live with.
I know my way out is to write and then shoot and edit my first feature film so that I can get my career going, but there's too much trauma associated with that part of me. I can't write because I'm scared after having seen the damage my writing can do (many of my films have been highly personal and effected my life directly).
I just need help. I'm putting my problems here as scattered as they may be in hopes that someone out there can help me understand this mess of a life i am dealing with. How can I make and keep real friendships, how can I connect with my family, how can I get past my diagnosis and live as a normal person again?
TL;DR I need help. I feel alone in all my personal connections, nobody will talk to me because they're afraid to damage me, thinking I'm ultra-fragile ever since I was hospitalized. I can't connect with my family, I keep losing friends and alienating acquaintances, and I'm too damaged and numbed by the medication to get back to doing what I love.
Reddit, please help.
Edit: I have a job lined up and paid for the trip with money I had leftover from my previous job. I'm not sitting here wallowing at home, I am in fact actively trying to fix things.
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Nov 4, 2018 10:35
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- Xik
- Mar 10, 2011
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Dinosaur Gum
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I (23F) think I got myself trapped in a bad relationship with my (41M) S.O.
Jesus Christ, this is a bit much for this thread isn't it? I literally just read some poor girl describe how she is repeatedly raped.
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#
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Nov 4, 2018 10:50
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- ishikabibble
- Jan 21, 2012
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I [M28] had a stupid argument with friend [M28] I’m on vacation with (plus his gf [F28]). Feel trapped with this poo poo vibe for the rest of the trip.
Longtime friend of mines Mike is looking for apartments around Los Angeles. I figured it’d be a good opportunity for us to take a trip together, so I booked a flight and Airbnb for when he’d be looking around.
I come a day early, he’s delayed hanging with his GF who lives in San Diego. He heads up the day after along with her. Things are going well enough, we head out to breakfast the next day.
At some point Elon Musk comes up, I say something to the effect of he’s cool but acts like a jackass, bringing up the whole episode this past summer with the kids trapped in a cave in Thailand. Basically Musk tried to help out with a submarine designed to navigate a cave like that.
It didn’t work out, the divers saved the day, one of them called his submarine intervention a PR stunt, and he responded by calling the guy a pedophile, sticking to his guns up to the point of calling the man a child rapist based on the evidence that the guy in question is a white man living in Thailand.
To me it was a childish overreaction on account of his bruised ego. Mikes upset about the diver calling Musks efforts a PR stunt, talking about how every time somebody wants to help somebody wants to call it a PR stunt, and that they should just stay quiet especially in a case where the person is trying to save lives.
My position is, yeah he was trying to help but there was obviously a component of “Look at me” about Musks efforts. And that that doesn’t change the fact that he’s prone to jackass moments like that.
Mike then insists that Elon Musk is such a genius that he must’ve KNOWN that the man was a child rapist. because as a wealthy man he has the resources to uncover those secrets and it’s unlikely he would make such a severe baseless accusation.
This goes back and forth for a while, me saying that Musk may be a beast with science but is in no way infallible, to which Mike says I’m putting words in his mouth by suggesting that he thinks Musks is infallible. And all the time his GF is agreeing that Musk must’ve known what he was doing and that this was probably a very calculated self branding move instead of an outburst.
The debate finally burns off, but since then they’ve both been a bit distant. And I’m stuck in this Airbnb with em for another couple of days. And I’m not sure what to do here.
Tl;dr: On vacation with friend, had argument over whether or not Elon Musk is a genius that was correct in calling a cave diver a child rapist. Atmospheres gone sour. Stuck for next few days
From everyone in the story including yourself because lol @
quote:Musk may be a beast with science
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Nov 4, 2018 11:00
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- Khazar-khum
- Oct 22, 2008
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 Cat Army
2nd Battalion
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Ever since I [M24] was discharged from the psychiatric hospital, everyone has been treating me differently. Nobody will talk to me or each-other (when around me) anymore.
About a year ago I had a psychotic break and checked myself into the Psychiatric wing at Northwestern for two consecutive two week stays (immediately relapsed upon the first discharge). I had been smoking way too much weed and had gone too far in merging fact and fiction for my film school thesis project. I was massively delusional and picked a fight with the entire film department and eventually the entire school over an incident that had become an issue of gender ethics.
Mind you I was not delusional about the incident in question, I was simply experiencing delusions of grandeur thinking that everything was much bigger than it was. Doctors still haven't been able to figure me out, I've gotten multiple diagnoses in this past year and have not been able to find a medication that works for me.
After I was discharged I found myself out of a job, out of the student loan money that was paying my rent, and so shattered and lost that I had no plan to get me past the next few days. I had to move back home with my parents.
I spend almost all of my time with friends and family now in silence. We only talk very briefly about what's immediately in front of us and when people are discontent about something they don't bring it up and instead wait for it to boil over into an argument. I'm a punching bag and people take out their own issues on me because it's easy. I feel like I'm drifting further and further from reality as I sit in these quiet rooms with people glued to their screens and not connecting. It feels like I'm living in dystopic science fiction movie.
If I'm the one taking issue with this is it my fault? Are there just people in this world who talk a lot and those who hardly do? All I want out of life is to get into it with people, discuss things that matter, not just the weather or how I feel today. I don't know if this is something I'm just noticing or if things changed after I was hospitalized. Is this lack of IRL connection just a product of our modern times and I'm just now becoming discontent with it? It seems as if we have separate parts of ourselves that we save for the internet/texting vs IRL. People assume all human connection is just a given instead of finding ways to show it through words and actions. Is this just my life? I see people in public who seem to be connecting IRL just fine and their relationships seem meaningful and caring.
How come I truly believe that I am doing all the right things and being compassionate, loving, positive, and working toward helathy relationships, but everyone is literally telling me to my face every day that I am not and that I'm loving up everything that I try to accomplish.
I'm losing friends left and right these days. When I try to be open it alienates people. When I try to have some fun with my friends or family they think I'm just going through a manic phase and write me off. I just had someone who I considered a best friend bail on me for a very important birthday road trip three days before we were supposed to leave. On my birthday I had another friend lose it on me because I didn't want to sleep with another friend who's feelings he felt protective of.
Is this because so many of my friends smoke weed? I've decided to no longer be a smoker and am now realizing just how delusional some of these people are. Am I experiencing this frustration simply because I'm now realizing how messed up that part of my life has been?
Am I doing something wrong or am I befriending the wrong people? I try to take initiative but whenever I am anything but depressed I'm written off as manic.
But it's not just the smokers, it's my family too. I had to move back home temporarily and the way they treat me is almost more sheltering and careful than when I was 12. Nobody in my house talks to one another. My mother spends hours a day on her laptop browsing Amazon or whatever else, my dad works and when he comes home the furthest I've ever gotten in conversation with him was about as deep as you would get with a waiter. My sister hides in her room all day and before my brother went back to college he would do the same, never letting out more than a word or two unless he was angered enough to lash out (it's no secret our family has anger problems).
I've had more intimate conversations with cab drivers than I have ever had with a member of my family.
I don't even know how to wrap this up. I'm in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. My mother was refusing to do family therapy until faced with an ultimatum and even so she still refuses to do it with the entire family, just me, her, and dad. I just recently lost my job due to my mental illness. I have no way of moving out anytime soon and even when I can I have no way of affording an apartment in any of the cities I could live in on my own and I have nobody to live with.
I know my way out is to write and then shoot and edit my first feature film so that I can get my career going, but there's too much trauma associated with that part of me. I can't write because I'm scared after having seen the damage my writing can do (many of my films have been highly personal and effected my life directly).
I just need help. I'm putting my problems here as scattered as they may be in hopes that someone out there can help me understand this mess of a life i am dealing with. How can I make and keep real friendships, how can I connect with my family, how can I get past my diagnosis and live as a normal person again?
TL;DR I need help. I feel alone in all my personal connections, nobody will talk to me because they're afraid to damage me, thinking I'm ultra-fragile ever since I was hospitalized. I can't connect with my family, I keep losing friends and alienating acquaintances, and I'm too damaged and numbed by the medication to get back to doing what I love.
Reddit, please help.
Edit: I have a job lined up and paid for the trip with money I had leftover from my previous job. I'm not sitting here wallowing at home, I am in fact actively trying to fix things.
If you go to the hospital after any kind of mental breakdown, be prepared to have your family & friends treat you like a leper. Your parents blame each other for 'the way you turned out' and your friends just hope they don't have to deal with a violent psycho.
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Nov 4, 2018 11:57
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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I (23F) think I got myself trapped in a bad relationship with my (41M) S.O.
it's nothing to do with the age difference.
We were FWB for about 3 years until we decided we'd be an actual couple after an argument about a year and a half ago where I admitted that I had actual feelings towards him.
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Nov 4, 2018 11:58
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- incredible flesh
- Oct 6, 2018
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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If you go to the hospital after any kind of mental breakdown, be prepared to have your family & friends treat you like a leper.
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Nov 4, 2018 12:08
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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Please can we not post rape stories or grim domestic violence stories? It’s a bit much
I [29M] Told My Wife [29F] I Didn't Want Her Hanging Out With a Male Friend Tonight. Am I Being Insecure?
quote:u/tdcoda1
We've been married for 4 years, dating for 6 years. We have a three year old daughter.
Now, she's known this male friend of hers since high school.
Around a year before we started dating, we were in the same social group. I didn't know her that well at the time, I didn't know her friend (let's call him Henry) well at the time either. But by being in the same social circle I know she was obsessed with Henry. She was head over heels for him. From talking to other people in the group, it was a recent thing. They knew each other in high school, but were never close, or even really friends. They had gotten friendly around that time though, and she spent close to a year trying to be with him. He wasn't interested. Eventually she moved on,dated someone else in our group for a couple months, then her and I started talking more. We hit it off, she broke up with her boyfriend, and we got together. Since then things have gone great. We dated, got married, had a child, bought a house together.
Recently, her and Henry started talking again. This started around July.
Now, she's not being secretive of anything. At least as far as I know. She hasn't hid the fact they started talking again.
I've gotten uncomfortable with how much they talk though, and how much they spend time together.
I work second shift, 4pm to midnight, Thursday to Monday. The past few months they've spent a lot of time together on the weekends, with my daughter. They go over to his house for dinner, he comes to our house, they got out to restaurants, he comes over and she cooks dinner....
Again, none of this is hidden from me, she tells me ahead of time what their plans are.
Tonight though I just got pissed off about it. I was heading into work and she was getting dinner ready. She told me Henry was coming over, and they were going to eat and watch a movie.
I sort of flipped out tonight and told her it was bullshit that I'm working and she's cooking dinner for a friend then watching a movie with her and our daughter. She didn't get mad. She apologized to me and said she didn't know I felt that way, and she would cancel their plans tonight.
It's just...even though she is being open and honest about when they hang out....we occasionally use each others phones for things. She texts him every day. Yeah I snooped a bit, sue me.
There's nothing sexual, and nothing really that flirty, but it's still every day.
I just don't know if I'm being paranoid or what....
TL;DR: Am I being paranoid/controlling or am I right to think this isn't a normal "friendship"?
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Nov 4, 2018 12:24
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- Serephina
- Nov 8, 2005
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恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー
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Please can we not post rape stories or grim domestic violence stories? It’s a bit much
I [29M] Told My Wife [29F] I Didn't Want Her Hanging Out With a Male Friend Tonight. Am I Being Insecure?
Nothing terrible saucy there, he's basically just missing out on a normal family lifestyle due to his work schedule, and the wife has unwittingly substituted her bff has a surrogate cool-dad. Nothing malicious by her, or dumb by the OP. He just needs to quit that dumb job and get something that lets him be a part of his family.
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Nov 4, 2018 13:58
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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I (28f) feel like I come second to my husband's (29m) brother(26m). Thinking of leaving.
quote:
So Frank and I have been married for 7 months, together for 3.5 years and have a 2.5 year old child. We are from City A but have lived for a year in City B (across the country). We plan on moving back to City A in 4 months.
Tom, Frank’s younger brother, has shown the last 3.5 years that he has no interest in getting to know me. Here is a list of our interactions:
For the first 6 months of Frank and me dating, Tom refused to call me by my name. Say my name is Connie, he would call me “Candice”. For a while I genuinely thought he didn’t know my name. Frank thought it was funny.
I don’t smoke weed, have never been interested in smoking weed, I don’t find any joy in talking about it or being around it. When I was about 7 months pregnant Tom was smoking and purposely blew a smoke cloud directly into my face. Frank thought it was funny.
After having emergency surgery to deal with a pregnancy issue, Tom let me know that carrying a child wasn’t much of a big deal and he didn't understand how could I consider myself a mother when I hadn’t done anything yet. Frank had no comment.
Tom and his fiancé (30f) completely ignored me at the baby shower. Their card was solely made out to Frank. Frank insisted it wasn't intentional.
Tom and his fiancé at the time put off getting the shots necessary to see the newborn baby even though everyone was given notice when I was 4 months pregnant. Tom got the shot 4 days before I gave birth, his wife got it about 2 weeks after the child was born. My family and Frank’s mother and friends received the shot when I mentioned it at 4 months pregnant. Frank made excuses for Tom.
Tom and his fiancé got married in a different state, I was not invited to the engagement party, the wedding, anything. I stayed in City A with the baby. Frank said it was because the wedding was planned before we met. The engagement party was in City A. Frank said "it wasn’t even fun."
When our child was 3 months old, I texted Tom trying to wave the white flag. I said something along the lines of “Hey, I know we don’t get along very well but I’d really like to work on our relationship. We’re both going to be around for a long time and it would be easier on Frank if we got along. He didn’t really respond but I got a long message from his then wife letting me know she thought I was a poo poo mom, “bad energy,” and worthless for having PPD. I did not retaliate. Frank sympathized with me but did not talk to his brother about it.
Tom and his wife rarely showed up at Frank’s house once the baby was born. If I was over (Frank and I did not live together at the time), they wouldn’t even acknowledge the baby. Frank dismissed their actions. (Tom and his wife soon divorced. He moved in with Frank for a bit and still showed no interest in the child)
Frank and I talked about moving to City B and we both decided it would be best for us. When we told his mother and Tom, Tom acted like I was kidnapping the child and running and forcing Frank to come with me. Frank did not correct him.
We decided to get married in City B. Both Franks mother and Tom flew in. Tom ignored me and the child the entire time (and Frank too, if we're being honest), made passive aggressive comments about my work, wore an extremely “loud” shirt at the wedding, when giving his toast his words of advice were, “don’t do it.” Frank blamed it on Tom’s failed marriage.
Franks mother has a business and we agreed to me taking over for her so she could retire. We talked details on a daily basis and I was supposed to start working remotely under her Jan 1 until we were officially back in City A. Tom found out and decided he would be taking over and told his mother there is no room for me. He has had absolutely no interest in her business prior and this was a shock to everyone. Frank offered advice to his mother about Tom being irresponsible but otherwise did not get involved.
Tom tells Frank the reason he can’t build a relationship with me is because we’re miles and miles away. Franks mom and my relationship actually started blossoming once we moved to City B. I recently saw that Tom is keeping in touch with Frank’s old girlfriend. I asked Frank if they were close and Frank said no, that they never really spoke because Tom’s (now ex-) wife hated her.
So recently, Tom met a woman (21f) and started dating her. Exactly 1 month after meeting they were married. No one was told until a couple weeks after. My MIL had met the girl twice, obviously Frank has never met her. Tom called Frank to tell him the news and for the first time, Frank had something to say. He told him how rude he was at our wedding and how it’s insane to be so bitter and then turn around and marry someone after knowing them for such a short time etc. Frank felt really good for speaking his mind but Tom played the "I know man, I was just upset about ExWife." card and Frank immediately felt bad and brushed everything under the rug. Now when Tom calls (maybe once every 2 weeks, doesn’t answer Franks calls or texts.) he just talks about himself and says things like “I can’t wait for you to meet NewWife. You’ll really like her.”
So here’s where we are. I’m completely drained. I’m amazed that he could treat me so lovely for 3.5 years and then turn around and expect his brother to immediately accept his new wife. Tom is more worried about building a relationship with NewWife than he ever was Frank or the child. And Frank sees it but can not confront his brother or address the disrespect.
Im at the point where I’m realizing that not hurting Tom’s feelings are more important than anything I have to say. I think Frank has been extremely clear in who’s feelings he prefers. He keeps asking me to let it go and saying he’ll defend me if anything else comes up. I don’t want to wait until anything else comes up. I want my husband to come to my defense now. We’ve been arguing about this for 3 days and I’m exhausted. He finally called his mother and his mother confirmed that Tom has been lovely towards her too, and Frank had a realization moment. He told me I was completely right and he was so sorry he argued with me and I deserve to be defended. He said he’d talk to Tom the next day. Tom apologized (to Frank, never to me, never EVER has Tom said anything anywhere CLOSE to an apology to me.) and now Frank thinks we’re all good. Frank only addressed Tom looking for NewWife validation while still ignoring me and child, and nothing else.
To be honest I was expecting more of a “This is my family. You need to respect my family as I have yours or you cannot be apart of my family any longer,” but Frank says there’s no way he could ever cut Tom out.
To be clear, my marriage isn’t based on how my brother in law treats me. It’s how my husband allows his brother to treat me and our child. I'm not one who is afraid of confrontation and if it weren't for Frank and Tom being so close, I would have fought him a long time ago. Out of respect for the father of my child and husband, I've bit my tongue and held on tight.
I’m ready to end the relationship for good because of this. Am I overreacting? Is there another course of action I can take to improve the situation? Is there something I can tell Frank to get my point across better?
tldr: BIL despises me and isn't afraid to hide it, husband refuses to defend me, can this be fixed?
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Nov 4, 2018 15:59
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- Freudian
- Mar 23, 2011
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I [26M] have been dating my current girlfriend [28F] for 2 years. I was cleaning out my closet and found a bra that my ex left because it didn't fit her. My current girlfriend's size would fit the bra. What do I do with the bra?
quote:I was cleaning out everything in my closet this weekend and found a Victoria's Secret bra that my ex-girlfriend had left me because it didn't fit her and she never worn it (other than trying it on). For the last 2 years, I have been dating someone new, and coincidentally, that bra I found would fit her.
What do I do with the bra? Should I get rid of it or should I give it to my new girlfriend? With my limited knowledge of bras, they seem expensive, but I want to be careful with this situation, so I'm weighing 2 thoughts:
- There are no emotional memories associated with that bra since my ex and I never had sex.
- I don't know how my girlfriend would feel if I gave it to her.
TL;DR: Found a bra from my ex while cleaning through some things. The bra size will fit my current girlfriend. What should I do with the bra: get rid of it or give it to my current girlfriend?
Sorry if the post wasn't as organized as it could've been. It was hard for me to organize my thoughts and get them typed down, but I appreciate any guidance in this matter. Thanks!
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Nov 4, 2018 16:13
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- El_Elegante
- Jul 3, 2004
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Biscuit Hider
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I [26M] have been dating my current girlfriend [28F] for 2 years. I was cleaning out my closet and found a bra that my ex left because it didn't fit her. My current girlfriend's size would fit the bra. What do I do with the bra?
This is the perfect post.
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Nov 4, 2018 16:21
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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I [29M] Told My Wife [29F] I Didn't Want Her Hanging Out With a Male Friend Tonight. Am I Being Insecure?
No, she's definitely loving him. And if she wasnt yet she's going to.
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Nov 4, 2018 16:38
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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My [25M] ex wife [25F] is dating someone I don't feel safe letting around our kids.
quote:
My ex wife (we'll call her Jane) and I divorced a little over a year ago, amicably, and since then we've shared a pretty solid co-parenting routine with our two boys. She and I have always put the kids first; independently we're both very good parents and we have luckily been able to put aside our personal issues for the sake of being good examples for the kids.
We had a conversation a while ago about us both getting back into dating and we have a rule that if we're going to introduce anyone to the kids the other parent has to meet them first, and here's where the issue is: I was with our kids recently and the older one (4 years old) told me that he met a guy (lets call him John) and that "he and mommy aren't married", which was obviously a call to Jane to see what was up. Jane says that she is dating a guy named John but the kids haven't met him yet but they will soon, so we arranged a time for me to meet the guy and we got to talking while I was dropping the kids off at her place, just asking some pretty basic questions like what he does for a living, how old is he, and some red flags came up pretty quick.
John is apparently 36, works at a toy store (manager) and has no kids or been married before, so here's my dilemma: I think this John guy is a predator, seeking out a single mom significantly younger and less financially stable than him to get to our kids. Jane claims to have done a background check on him, and says she trusts him, but something doesn't feel right about this, why isn't he dating someone his age? I have a sister who wound up dating and marrying a convicted sex offender 15 years her senior and letting him around their now 8 year old daughter, and maybe I'm just being hypersensitive about this.
I've already talked to Jane about my concerns and she keeps assuring me that he isn't like that, but obviously I'm still worried. I'm meeting him tomorrow, what should I do? I don't have the right to order Jane who not to date just because I have a bad feeling, but my first priority is our kids' safety and I don't want to put them in any possible risk. What should I say tomorrow when I meet him? Should I meet him at all? Should I insist that I don't want him near the kids?
TLDR: Ex is dating someone I think might be a child predator, but I have nothing more than a feeling as proof, I'm meeting him tomorrow, what should I do?
Edit: Thank you all, I think I'm just really apprehensive about the situation because I've seen it go bad in my family before. This guy is probably just fine and me treating him like a villain from the get go won't help anything. Thank you for your level headed advice!!!
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Nov 4, 2018 17:11
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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My [25M] ex wife [25F] is dating someone I don't feel safe letting around our kids.
Well at least reddit talked off that ledge lol.
How many comments were “ yeah I’m 36 and I work at a toy store because I love my anime action figures not because I’m trying to pick on on women”?
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Nov 4, 2018 17:15
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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Well at least reddit talked off that ledge lol.
How many comments were “ yeah I’m 36 and I work at a toy store because I love my anime action figures not because I’m trying to pick on on women”?
Is...is there a stigma that toy store managers are predators?
Is this a thing? Like it’s probably just a job?
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Nov 4, 2018 17:16
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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Is...is there a stigma that toy store managers are predators?
Is this a thing? Like it’s probably just a job?
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Nov 4, 2018 17:25
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- UZR IS BULLSHIT
- Jan 25, 2004
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quote:I have a sister who wound up dating and marrying a convicted sex offender 15 years her senior and letting him around their now 8 year old daughter, and maybe I'm just being hypersensitive about this.
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
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Nov 4, 2018 17:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 21:03
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Nov 4, 2018 02:09
