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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (23F) think I got myself trapped in a bad relationship with my (41M) S.O. It's sad how often I see stories here if the same thing that happened to me. Both sad because it's apparently so common, and sad because goons keep posting depressing rape posts for no reason. Edit: Not a shameful snipe. Stop posting pure rape and abuse stories Jesus
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Nov 4, 2018 17:59
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DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:“I dunno guys, my relationship is pretty great except for all the raping” is not something I really expected or wanted to see Sunday morning I just wish he'd rape a little less, if I had to be honest
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Nov 4, 2018 18:03
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I think this woman needs to be tested on the Delita Blame Matrix.
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Nov 4, 2018 18:07
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Straight White Shark posted:I (28f) feel like I come second to my husband's (29m) brother(26m). Thinking of leaving. This post was ok but I feel like it just isn’t as good as the rape one, sorry
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Nov 4, 2018 18:23
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Freudian posted:I [26M] have been dating my current girlfriend [28F] for 2 years. I was cleaning out my closet and found a bra that my ex left because it didn't fit her. My current girlfriend's size would fit the bra. What do I do with the bra? what is it about redditors and not being able to place themselves in other peoples shoes like dude what if your gf found a banana hammock that her ex wore and asked you to wear it, what would you think maybe it’s a lack of imagination
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Nov 4, 2018 19:15
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My Linux Rig posted:what is it about redditors and not being able to place themselves in other peoples shoes
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Nov 4, 2018 19:51
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Simply Simon posted:He said she wore it just once to try it on. I mean, it's quite expensive and if it fits, why not ask her if she wants it? Because it’s weird.
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Nov 4, 2018 19:53
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It is weird. Simon, what’s your answer to the banana hammock test?
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Nov 4, 2018 19:57
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Simply Simon posted:He said she wore it just once to try it on. I mean, it's quite expensive and if it fits, why not ask her if she wants it? "Opinions to tank a relationship in one sentence"
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Nov 4, 2018 20:13
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El_Elegante posted:It is weird. Simon, what’s your answer to the banana hammock test? Maybe I don't think it's a big deal because a) I have exactly one ex girlfriend and there was a four year gap between her and meeting my now-wife, so I have no idea how "weird" people can get over exes, and b) both me and my wife are EXTREMELY stingy so no way we would waste a perfectly good bra
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Nov 4, 2018 20:20
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Wearing someone else's undergarments is a bit much for most people, whether they are an ex or not.
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Nov 4, 2018 20:26
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Tater Love 
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My [37F] Life Long Friend [37F] Humiliated Me by Crashing a Work Party and Being Rude. J and I have been close friends since kindergarten. We sat next to each other on the first day and she struck up a conversation with me because I looked so shy and uncomfortable. We've been nearly inseparable in the 30+ years since. We like all the same things and have a lot of fun together- or at least, we used to. Throughout elementary, middle, high school, college, and beyond, J has always been my most trusted (and sometimes only) friend and confidant. J has always been the more dominant personality between the two of us. Since childhood, I've been shy and wracked with depression and insecurities. Throughout school, I would often find J to be the main source of my social life- she would introduce me to people and invite me to parties. She talked me through my worst times and encouraged me to think more of myself. I have always loved her for this. For much of my young life, my friendship with J was the bright, shining beacon that warded off the worst of my depression. When we reached adulthood, I found myself floundering a lot while she almost immediately entered a stable career. I went to three different colleges and spent an extra several years eventually getting a liberal arts degree while J was driven. She got a degree in a field that interested her and secured a teaching job in that field fresh out of college. She thrived. During this time I flitted from low paying job to low paying job. I couldn't pay my bills most of the time. I entered into a series of terrible, toxic relationships with men, the worst of which becoming physically and emotionally abusive. J was there for me throughout it all. She helped me leave my abuser and reconnect with my family to get back on my feet. She encouraged me to take an entry level job in her field, which I did. I worked there for a few years, and while I didn't make much money or love the job I did finally have enough to support myself. For the first time in my life, I had a sense of normalcy. J and I spent a lot of time together. She was happy and supportive, but would sometimes veer off into bragging about accomplishments and how happy she was in her career. Of course, she deserved to brag, right? She had done so well for herself, and helped me so much. Things changed between us when an unbelievable opportunity presented itself to me at random. During my worst times I had always painted and made little sculptures as an outlet. I never made money from it, but I did have a small website where I uploaded my work. I was approached by a fairly large film production to create custom work for their film. The pay blew my mind. I made more in a day working for the film than I made in a week at my job at the school. I was in love, completely and totally. I couldn't believe I could actually make money doing something I loved so much. I made friends on the set- so many people were strange and insecure and awkward just like me- and I secured work on the next movie. And the next one. Pretty soon, I left the job at the school behind. I was quickly making a name for myself in film and I felt like I had finally found the magical missing ingredient to my life. I told all of this to J, who was supportive but began pulling away. During this time I also entered therapy- I worked through my depression, my anxieties, and my issues with men. I started dating again and met my husband, who also works in film. He's kind and supportive. More than I had ever hoped for. I was overjoyed. After I introduced him to J, all she had to say was "he's short." She snorted and rolled her eyes when I told her I didn't care, and I'm short, too. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't immediately love this smart, successful, sweet guy as much as I do. When the husband and I got married and bought a house, she refused to come to the wedding unless I bought her a dress (it was informal and there was no specific bridesmaid dress requirement, but I did anyway) and told me she thought her house was much nicer than mine and I should demand more from my new husband. I took it in stride, but honestly her jabs hurt. I can't be around her without her telling me, in one way or another, that she's better than me or reminding me of what a rough start in life I had. My career has continued to grow and I've made a name for myself over the last few years. The only problem with my life now is that my dynamic with J has so dramatically changed. We can't spend time together without her cutting me off or talking over me about how she couldn't work a job like mine that had no great impact on society or how she makes loads of money for working minimal hours (my work days, but comparison, are a minimum of twelve hours). She even fabricated a story about how she was once head hunted by a large movie studio after a script she'd written went viral (note: J has never written anything more than a term paper and she had to have known I wouldn't buy this). I realize she might not feel like she "knows me" anymore, but things keep getting worse and worse. J now pushes me to introduce her to the people I know through work, especially if they're famous in any way. She often demands to bring her boyfriend along as well. These requests make me very uncomfortable and I try to find a way to skirt them- telling her I only have a plus one for wrap parties (true) or that I'm not going to or can't get her into events (also often true). Last night she way, way overstepped my boundaries by showing up at the venue a wrap party was held at. It was in the private room of a public venue. She arrived in the public part and started texting me asking me to bring her and her boyfriend into the party- I said I couldn't do that. She kept insisting, saying "just come out and walk us in" or "add us to the list, my boyfriend wants to go." I started ignoring the texts, and then I looked up from a conversation with my boss to see that she had barged in past the door man and was talking to one of my coworkers. Oh, God. My husband and I walked over just in time to hear that she was telling my coworker that she made more money than every loser at this party by the look of it. We were humiliated to the point of being red in the face. We did introduce her to two of my friends/coworkers as a friend, and then discreetly walked her back out to the general area. I just can't believe she did that. My husband and I made vague plants to meet up with her and her boyfriend in a few weeks and left. Honestly, I'm dreading the meet up and I'm terrified that she might have invited herself back into the party and continued acting rude after we left. I just don't know what to do about her anymore. J has been there for me during the worst parts of my life and helped me so much, but now she's toxic to the point of affecting my work and my other relationships. I know that it likely comes down to the fact that she's accustomed to being the "successful one" between the two of us and doesn't know how to adjust, but I don't know how to handle this. Do I just cut someone who's meant so much to me for thirty years out of my life completely? TL;DR: Best friend of more than thirty years is insulting and doesn't respect my boundaries anymore, and it's starting to affect my work.
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Nov 4, 2018 20:27
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Do I just cut someone who's meant so much to me for thirty years out of my life completely? yes.
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Nov 4, 2018 20:33
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people freak out when their "at least I'm not them" friend leaves that role
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Nov 4, 2018 20:42
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:people freak out when their "at least I'm not them" friend leaves that role What if you don't have one of those friends? Wait... am I...?
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Nov 4, 2018 20:48
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If one of my friends blossomed in a glamorous field, I’d probably be as much of a hanger-on, but I think I’d try to do it with a little more grace
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Nov 4, 2018 20:51
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She needs to  that friend before it costs her work. She sounds like she's in set design or special effects, and those people don't get to bring around their own little entourages.OTOH, maybe everyone else would "get it" as everyone who works in movies probably has had to deal with wannabe hangers-on, whether family or friends. Still, don't let a loving friend who glommed onto you in kindergarten ruin a dream career for you - especially since it seems like, up to this point, she's always kept the OP around just to feel superior to.
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Nov 4, 2018 21:00
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The whole "he may be a pedophile" thing which is obviously a dumb thing to leap to I do mostly understand that OP's concern after reading all the horror stories with similar agegaps in this thread. Like that alone feels like a significant enough red flag I can't say I'm surprised he doesn't want this guy around his children.
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Nov 4, 2018 21:17
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LabyaMynora posted:She needs to Yep. Seems to me that the OP doesn't need to make a choice to lose her friend. The friend already made that choice for her.
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Nov 4, 2018 21:52
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Simply Simon posted:He said she wore it just once to try it on. I mean, it's quite expensive and if it fits, why not ask her if she wants it?
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Nov 4, 2018 21:57
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Leon Einstein posted:Your instincts are quite bad. No woman would want to wear an ex's undergarments. Did you give your wife your ex's vibrator? I was done talking about it but because you kept insisting, here's my story: I did actually ask my wife about her thoughts on the matter. She said she'd find it weird as well, so point taken, but she wouldn't consider the idea of asking itself an automatic dealbreaker. Then I said "but you know, it IS a 70€ish bra" and she was like "wait are they actually that expensive???", I checked and yup, they are. Then she went "hmm that IS a lot of money so maybe I'd take it but I'd never wear it ...but maybe it's really comfy" So no, for my relationship, asking would not have been out of the question but again, my ex was four years before my wife and it's super hypothetical anyway. Wife did add that it's safer not to ask if you're not super sure, and added the pro tip of having a female mutual friend offer up the bra with a cover story as to not waste it. At no point did she consider the "worn once to try" thing an argument.
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Nov 4, 2018 22:05
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if it was a nice, expensive bra that fit well, gently caress yeah I'd take it. CONTEXT: quote:I made a post about how I finally got a date and while walking around she was hit by a drunk driver as she was walking behind me (I take big steps). It's been over 2 weeks, she asked me to stop texting her because she feels bad bc it reminds her of the accident. I waited 4 days and then texted her asking how she was doing. She ignored it for a day then tells me to never message her again and that she doesn't blame me but it's too depressing to be around me. So I wanted to cheer her up and went to a nearby hospital with flowers for her and poo poo. Receptionist apparently violated HIPPA but I'm being charged?! [Arizona] quote:I DO NOT RESPOND TO DMS Edit: oh hey, people are dming me about this post! I got 3 before it was posted to BOLA. Now I have 38 dms! PS: Cursory reddit history shows this guy is an incel.
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Nov 4, 2018 22:15
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Oh god it keeps going.quote:I'm freaking out because I want to leave her alone if that's what she wants but I'm so scared for her because I'm still able to read her messages on discord without her knowing (set to offline) and shes having a tough time and I just feel like shes this little stray kitten with a broken leg and I'm trying so hard not to help her but shes mewing at me and I want to help her bc I know the lonliness and empty pit in the stomach shes talking about and if shes got no leg and no family support I want to help her while shes in this dark and unknown place. But she's a human being who is asking you to- quote:I'll be conscious of my steps while walking with my cutie shorty goth Asian gf. I'm applying for school actually, I start in January. I'll get a good job and support her financially too. I've always wanted an Asian gf but I realise she is so much more. MY SKIN IS CRAWLING quote:I've recently learned how to knit or crochet, the one with the hook. I'm making q pikachu. It's her favorite and maybe this time i can be up front and leave it at the front desk, say my name without them asking. And then have then either give it to her or toss it if she doesnt want to see me for real? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA quote:Oh God I'm so worried about her I think it must be something bad. Maybe she needs blood? I'd give her my blood if she needs it. I'd never felt so obsessed before. RUN AWAY, HOSPITALIZED GIRL
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Nov 4, 2018 22:21
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value-brand cereal posted:Thanks! This youtube is absolutely useless! I was saying you are quite naive, which you then supported by getting angry rather than questioning that you might not understand the reference
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Nov 4, 2018 22:41
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Simply Simon posted:He said she wore it just once to try it on. I mean, it's quite expensive and if it fits, why not ask her if she wants it? Oh god this thread is great. The autism flows like a glorious mountain stream e: Hey Guys I found a completely uneaten piece of bubblegum that I put in my ex girlfriends butthole, should I give it to my girlfriend? It's clean, I opened the wrapper a little bit? Should I tell her where it came from? Please advise, life is hard for me Taima fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Nov 4, 2018 |
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Nov 4, 2018 22:50
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They're called dirty pillows for a reason.
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Nov 4, 2018 22:51
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Cat Army
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Midnight Voyager posted:RUN AWAY, HOSPITALIZED GIRL "I CAN'T, MY LEGS ARE IN CASTS"
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Nov 4, 2018 22:54
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Hey guys, my ex walked on the floor of this apartment, should I have it torn up since I'm dating someone new?
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Nov 4, 2018 22:55
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oh god, a girl with what seems like uncontrolled untreated BPD meets an obsessive Incel, the perfect storm 
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Nov 4, 2018 22:56
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Taima posted:Oh god this thread is great. The autism flows like a glorious mountain stream What the gently caress do you think we do to our bras?
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Nov 4, 2018 22:56
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My wife says getting the old bra would be weird, case closed, wrap it up, etc actually she made a face and went "uhh no"
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Nov 4, 2018 23:01
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blarzgh posted:Hey guys, my ex walked on the floor of this apartment, should I have it torn up since I'm dating someone new? if it’s made of her dirty underwear, then yes zakharov posted:My wife says getting the old bra would be weird, case closed, wrap it up, etc we got an opinion right from the source!! looks like us on the anti used bra side have been vindicated, take that dirty bra havers 
My Linux Rig fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Nov 4, 2018 |
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Nov 4, 2018 23:02
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Midnight Voyager posted:What the gently caress do you think we do to our bras?  It's true. Téodor drinks soy-based dude milk.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:06
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If you guys are this weird about a bra that was tried on once, I hope you never buy clothes from stores. Because believe it or not, people try those on! They might have been worn by more than ONE person before! Even the bras! Shocking, I know.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:08
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Honestly, I don't see it as particularly weird, and I kinda feel sorry for the guy because it's trivial for me to imagine his girlfriend saying "wtf why would you throw a perfectly good bra out, do you know how much these cost??" Unfortunately there's people who will get completely offended just by asking, so the "safe" course of action is just to destroy the evidence and take the secret to your grave.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:26
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And also, he's trying. He wants to be considerate, he doesn't know how the other person will feel about it, and he wants to do right by her. It's not like he's all "HAY HONEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND, ISN'T IT **AWESOME**??  "
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Nov 4, 2018 23:27
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Midnight Voyager posted:If you guys are this weird about a bra that was tried on once, I hope you never buy clothes from stores. Because believe it or not, people try those on! They might have been worn by more than ONE person before! Even the bras! Shocking, I know. Hello, How are you doing today? Fine I hope. I just felt the need to say that your comparison is not even close to what is going on. Kind regards
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Nov 4, 2018 23:29
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P.S. don’t give your new girlfriend your ex girlfriends poo poo.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:30
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Midnight Voyager posted:If you guys are this weird about a bra that was tried on once, I hope you never buy clothes from stores. Because believe it or not, people try those on! They might have been worn by more than ONE person before! Even the bras! Shocking, I know. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:30
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The person who tried on those clothes may not have even showered!
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Nov 4, 2018 23:33
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