/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Mid 20s and owning is a home is where you have to start distinguishing between the "pleasant dinner with maybe a game" parties and the "people are playing strip Indian leg wrestling on the patio" parties from the invite

# ? Nov 18, 2018 14:32

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:08

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

CheesyDog posted:

Mid 20s and owning is a home is where you have to start distinguishing between the "pleasant dinner with maybe a game" parties and the "people are playing strip Indian leg wrestling on the patio" parties from the invite

Yeah and the annoying thing about strip Indian leg wrestling is that people keep drawing the game out to make more jokes instead of just going for the win

# ? Nov 18, 2018 14:45

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Girlfriend [25F] has (developed?) anger issues and gets mad at my [25M] innocent jokes

quote:

So I've been seeing this girl for 3 years and things used to be really good. And I guess we just don't match up personality wise but I need to hear it from someone else.

But slowly her true nature started coming out and it's one of a short temper.

I'm the total opposite, I've tried my hardest to remove anger from my life completely. I'm a very goofy, silly, laid back person. My girlfriend is more like a lovey, serious type. We make it work and have fun together when she's in the mood. But lately she's been in a very negative mindset because of some personal family issues not involving me. They're changing her and she brings out anger on me that she never did before.

Onto the incident as an example. One part of my humor is I like to play jokes, pranks on people and have a good laugh with them after. Just my personality and mostly everyone enjoys them. My girlfriend did as well but it seems she's getting tired of them. Possibly due to the family issues or maybe im just immature? You decide.

We were at a drive thru which we normally don't go to so she was giving her order from the passenger seat towards my driver side window. So i very slowly started to roll my window up, about an inch every second.

Now if you've seen some comedy movies or cartoons, what happens is the other person gradually keeps moving their head higher and higher till they're talking through a little opening.

I assumed she'd get it and if not understand I'm just joking around, as I have been for 3 years. But at about half way up, she got angry at me for doing so. I can understand why someone would get mad, if they didn't know me. She said it was rude while she was talking. You could still hear the other person and they could hear you.

She knows me. She knows I'm just messing around. But she won't play along anymore. I don't know if she's tired of my humor or it's the personal issues but this keeps happening.

I'll joke around with her and she'll just snap. Always small things that I used to do before and now she reacts in anger.

And it's not even jokes....other day to say occurrences result in her snapping for some reason....not sure what to do.

I don't want to be with someone who has anger issues. Unfortunately I love her and it would hurt me a ton to break up. I really don't know what to do.

Tl;Dr Girlfriend can't take my humor/jokes like she used to and gets easily upset.

Hmm, my girlfriend is dealing with some rough personal issues... time for some zany pranks!!!!!

Wait, why is she getting mad and not reacting like a character in a sitcom does?!

# ? Nov 18, 2018 15:30

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

LadyPictureShow posted:

Girlfriend [25F] has (developed?) anger issues and gets mad at my [25M] innocent jokes
...

You decide

No problem bro

# ? Nov 18, 2018 16:12

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

LadyPictureShow posted:

Girlfriend [25F] has (developed?) anger issues and gets mad at my [25M] innocent jokes

Hmm, my girlfriend is dealing with some rough personal issues... time for some zany pranks!!!!!

Wait, why is she getting mad and not reacting like a character in a sitcom does?!

The prank itself is relatively harmless compared to some of the others we've seen ITT but it's still a red flag that he's bad enough at reading the room that he pulls it on her while her grandma is dying or something and can't figure out why she doesn't like it

# ? Nov 18, 2018 16:28

number 1 snake fan: Jul 16, 2018

Anomalous Blowout posted:

My childhood friend (26F) is recently engaged. She’s asked me (25F) to be in the wedding. Her fiancé (23M) and I emphatically dislike each other. What should I do in this situation?

How much do you want to bet the fiance only got her out of the cult situation so she would ~~sleep with~~ trauma bond with him?
He seems like the type to just want a subservient bangmaid.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 16:31

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

LadyPictureShow posted:

Girlfriend [25F] has (developed?) anger issues and gets mad at my [25M] innocent jokes

Hmm, my girlfriend is dealing with some rough personal issues... time for some zany pranks!!!!!

Wait, why is she getting mad and not reacting like a character in a sitcom does?!

I like the "Unfortunately I love her." Like loving her is the real problem and not his inability to stop making jokes.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 16:43

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Dienes posted:

I like the "Unfortunately I love her." Like loving her is the real problem and not his inability to stop making jokes.

he doesn't specify which of them it's unfortunate for, so technically he's not wrong

# ? Nov 18, 2018 16:51

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Constantly trying to reenact 90s slapstick bits on uncooperative victims is a part of who I am, to not like it is basically racism against me.

My [37M] GF [35F] of 2 years has different view on class than I

quote:

In advance, I apologize for my poor English, I gently caress up articles quite a bit.

Backstory: I've been with her for two years, everything is going fantastic, she gets along with my kid, respects my culture, has visited my country numerous times and loved it, gets along with my mom, I get along with her parents. Everything is great except one issue.

I grew up dirt poor. When I was living in home country, it was okay, then everything went to poo poo in 90s. My father, who was one that made money in family, went to war, got killed. Five years later, when I was 18, another war broke out, I got called, went to war, got married not long before with pregnant girlfriend. She had kid, then I went to war. When my wife was at work, she got hit by a bomb, my son was with his grandparents then. I immigrated to Canada 8 years ago, with son. Very hard time when I first came, I was very poor. But, I made living, worked hard, now, I have my own business and make a great amount of money (almost seven figures).

My wife, she has habit of saying how you can only be born into class. You cannot obtain class. You either have, or you don't. I don't agree with this. Where I lived, we never mentioned class, except to make fun of "rich" people when they had so much credit on mobile phone account, we would call them Bourgeois. No one cared where you come from, only what you are now. This is very foreign to me.

What makes this even more strange, my girlfriend's mother's side is middle class at best, more lower-middle class. Her father's side is old money, but they used all of money and have nothing left now. I am better off than they. My mother is even better off than they, and she has tiny pension in hosed up country.

But she keeps saying this "never marry outside of your class," "you can only be born with class," "you cannot buy class," and similar. I may be upper class now, maybe. But I still think of myself as poor. I don't eat $200 lunches, I don't even stay at $200 hotel room. Too expensive. I don't buy what I don't need.

Once, she freaked out I took a plastic bag to pool. Why? Only low-class does that, others take a proper bag (I said to her, WTF, it's a bag, if it carries my poo poo, I do not care) and she was embarassed. Thats one example.

Is this maybe something cultural in Canada? Everything else is perfect with her, but I cannot get my mind to understand this. Any advice/insight I would appreciate very much.

Again, I apologize for my poor English. English is very difficult with those articles.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:08

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Great Gatsby reboot looking pretty rough

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dump her and get one with more class

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:11

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Barudak posted:

Dump her and get one with more class

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:13

Elderbean: Jun 10, 2013

Almost everyone who describes themselves as a prankster is an inconsiderate rear end in a top hat who is not nearly as funny as they think they are.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:28

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

loquacius posted:

The prank itself is relatively harmless compared to some of the others we've seen ITT but it's still a red flag that he's bad enough at reading the room that he pulls it on her while her grandma is dying or something and can't figure out why she doesn't like it

You nailed it.

"Unfortunately I'm always in a positive mood so I guess I'm pretty bad at reading a room. Makes sense when you put it this way."

:cripes:

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:32

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

LadyPictureShow posted:

Girlfriend [25F] has (developed?) anger issues and gets mad at my [25M] innocent jokes

Hmm, my girlfriend is dealing with some rough personal issues... time for some zany pranks!!!!!

Wait, why is she getting mad and not reacting like a character in a sitcom does?!

But those problems don't involve ME, so why should I care how she feels?

# ? Nov 18, 2018 17:53

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [18M] little sister [14F] is openly a furry and I'm very concerned for her

quote:

My little sister has always had a bit of a hard time fitting in. She's not very social and seems to have trouble getting along with girls her age, or boys for that matter. Because of this she has the tendency to become a bit too invested too easily in some cultures / hobbies and make them an essential part of her identity.

Since about ten months ago it's all about the whole furry thing. I'm pretty sure she found it on the internet, I don't know how else she could've gotten into it. It started with her claiming that she was a wolf, saying that it was her fursona. I had no clue what that was so I looked it up online. Then she got one of those fursuits, it doesn't look that great and seems to be somewhat cheaply made but she seems to love it still, she wears it a lot, at home, often in public. It's embarassing and my parents had to tell her more than once that she couldn't come with us if she didn't put on some normal clothes.

Then there's the convention and community thing. We live in a major city so there's a scene here, in fact you can easily find out about it online. She's been meeting up with these people regularly, also attending conventions and such. Sometimes she later posts pictures of them on her facebook. On a lot of these pictures she's with another person also in one of those suits, I noticed this, searched a bit and found this guy's facebook. He's at least mid 20s judging by looks, probably older to be honest. This is the guy who seems to be apparently somewhat "tight" with my 14 year old little sister. I asked her about this person and she said he was just a "friend". I'm actually really concerned, especially since after some online research I found out that there is apparently a predator problem in the furry community; older men using this scene as means to get to know younger, vulnerable girls without friends and social support to groom them.

On the one hand, sure it's great that she gets out more and gets to meet other people, even some around her own age are probably among them. However her behavior in general is really weird and offputting, she'll often put on her fursuit, act like a wolf, like she rubs against things and us too and it's ... weird, I really wish she wouldn't do that. Then I'm not sure if the people in that scene are actually the right choice of persons for her to be around; I don't want to condemn any innocent people but I really can imagine that some of them are straight-up predators, at the very least some of them, the majority probably, are some very ill-adjusted individuals. I mean I don't judge but the whole furry thing strikes me as really strange ...

Overall I want to support my little sister and most importantly prevent any harm for happening to her but I also think that maybe this kind of scene isn't exactly suitable for someone like her, especially at her young age. How do I approach these topics with her and help her with getting to a healthier place?

tl;dr: My little sister is a furry but I don't think it's healthy for her to be one and consider the scene and the people she's involved with to be potentially dangerous.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:41

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

the OP successfully persuades his socially maladjusted terminally online teenage sister that the furry community is hosed up and weird, she goes "OK" and drops it, two weeks later she's rolling with the Proud Boys

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:50

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

man there is so much worse poo poo a socially maladjusted teenager who spends way too much time online could become than a furry these days, it's practically wholesome

Yeah, but he's right to be concerned about older predators targeting minors, which is rife in most of these "scenes".

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:51

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

My [18M] little sister [14F] is openly a furry and I'm very concerned for her

Please help your sister avoid getting raped by a loving piece of poo poo at a furry convention, tia.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:53

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I can�t believe I read the entire thread. It�s been a hell of a journey and it�s made me realise that Pick is the best poster in the thread by a wide margin and I love her.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:58

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

I'm afraid you're going to have to kill all the furries on Earth, it's the only way

# ? Nov 18, 2018 18:58

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Do they even let people under 18 into furry conventions? They really, really shouldn't

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:02

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Clark Nova posted:

Do they even let people under 18 into furry conventions? They really, really shouldn't

Functionally it's a sexual fetish but most pretty much refuse to accept that so

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:03

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Clark Nova posted:

Do they even let people under 18 into furry conventions? They really, really shouldn't

who do you think is running them?

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:03

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Clark Nova posted:

Do they even let people under 18 into furry conventions? They really, really shouldn't

I have bad news about conventions

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:05

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Clark Nova posted:

Do they even let people under 18 into furry conventions? They really, really shouldn't

They ran into some logistical issues with enforcement

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:11

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Nobody going to a furry con is 110 pounds

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:26

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

CheesyDog posted:

Ah some foreshadowing to years of future content for this thread

Does birth control lube actually work?

Posted by u/BTDxDG

admiral akbar just woke up in a panic and doesnt know why.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:31

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Biplane posted:

I can�t believe I read the entire thread. It�s been a hell of a journey and it�s made me realise that Pick is the best poster in the thread by a wide margin and I love her.

thanks for being smart

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:38

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

CheesyDog posted:

Nobody going to a furry con is 110 pounds

The height is a typo, she's 3'5"

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:45

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

13Pandora13 posted:

The height is a typo, she's 3'5"

I stick with my original assessment

# ? Nov 18, 2018 19:50

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Constantly trying to reenact 90s slapstick bits on uncooperative victims is a part of who I am, to not like it is basically racism against me.

My [37M] GF [35F] of 2 years has different view on class than I

You can do better, comrade!

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:01

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Pick posted:

thanks for being smart

Welcome Back, Pick! i missed seeing your little kittycat avatar.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pick posted:

thanks for being smart

Marry me

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:39

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Biplane posted:

Marry me

You read the whole thread and learned nothing!

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:50

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:52

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

My [28F] husband [30M] throws tantrums

quote:

We have been married for 2 years and have a 2 year old child. I don't have many issues with my husband but his anger is one of them. He gets so frustrated that he just loses his mind over the littlest things. It is much like a little kid. Whenever he gets mad or sad he reverts to babyness.

For example, my daughter threw a fit this morning. She's had a fitty last few days. I was still in bed sleeping in a little as I often do when he is off. I heard most of it - she wanted a specific cup and got frustrated trying to communicate it. He tried to calm her down but she wasn't having it. She ran off to her bedroom and started kicking the bed. He followed her in and told her she can do whatever she wants but she can't kick the bed, because that's against the rules. She screamed and cried and he told her to quiet down because Momma was sleeping. She was not calming down. He was getting very frustrated and kept asking her "why do you keep doing this!?? I'm so sick of you acting like this!!!!!!! SOMEONE IS ALWAYS UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING!!!! CAN'T EVER HAVE A GOOD DAY!!" I'm like, oh lord so I turn the light on and start getting dressed to go help him deal with it. He sees I turned the light on (woke up) and yells at her "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!!!!" and stomps away downstairs, while he's huffing and puffing about how no one can ever be happy and someone always has to be upset for no reason and we can't ever have a nice day.

She was too upset to talk with so I just let her throw the fit and went in there if she was kicking the bed to tell her to not. That worked well and she calmed down very quickly. I tried to comfort DH but he turns ice cold whenever he gets in one of these moods and treats everyone like crap. When he finally starts to get over his frustration he expects everyone to act like nothing happened. If I give him any suggestions on how to handle the situation he gets more mad. Which is funny because just the other day when HE was trying to sleep in and she threw a tantrum, he was sending me texts about how I am doing this or that wrong, how "he knows her better than anyone in the world" so I should listen to him, "being inconsiderate for waking him up" (I cannot control if she will cry for a few minutes, she's 2) etc.

The same stuff happens between him and I. Seems like he will randomly get SOOOOO upset at me and it's like 0 to 100. I try to have a discussion with him and he starts stomping his feet, shouting, runs away. It takes him a very long time to get to a point where he can discuss it. Usually I am the one who has to apologize first, try to be uber reasonable and mom like to calm him down.

I have began to wonder if he is maybe on the autism spectrum. Because he just loses his mind and shuts down whenever he is emotional (much like a toddler having a tantrum) and can't see any logic at all. Then treats everyone else's feelings like they are silly and illogical (his favorite word) and is never empathetic to it when he is in a normal state. If he can't rationalize someone else's feelings then most of the time the feelings have no value to him. He also has a few other symptoms like getting completely obsessed with one or two topics and barely leaving his room to do anything but read about them. If anything his autism would be quite mild, he is mostly fine at socializing in other ways. Still, I just don't know what to make of this behavior.

I'm getting really frustrated. I love him and he's great in many other ways but this is exhausting. I'm sick of feeling like I have to walk on egg shells or I randomly frustrate and upset him. It feels unpredictable and sometimes like I have a 2nd child to appease. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

# ? Nov 18, 2018 20:59

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

Hello Ketene posted:

My [28F] husband [30M] throws tantrums

You have two 2 year old children.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 21:06

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

When did autism become a free pass to act like a fuckwad? Some people are just fuckwads, you know.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 21:11

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:08

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

It's not, but for some reason people are desperate to assume that nobody's a jerk just because they're a jerk. No, it must be symptoms of a deeper brain problem!

See also: How many redditors reply to r/relationships posts with assumptions that anyone self-centered is a narcissist, and anyone even slightly emotionally unstable/clingy has borderline.

# ? Nov 18, 2018 21:20

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