/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Bored posted:

Really?

To be fair when I was 15 I knew a lot of other 15 year olds that hated their parents for no particularly good reason, mostly drivers license related.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 16:21

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Burt Sexual posted:

And we can only be with another person without others permission.

What?

pretty sure they meant to say 'with' but it's funnier to imagine otherwise

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:31

Anomalous Blowout: Feb 13, 2006; rock
ice
storm
abyss

It makes no attempt to sound human. It is atoms and stars.

*

lmao already deleted

My (M26) girlfriend (F19) will not listen to me

Hey a long time lurker here, and today I made a account and post here since I have a big problem on my hands. Forgive me for any mistake because english is not my first language

I have been dating my girlfriend, let�s call her miranda, for about 4 months now. We come from different background but we get along well until lately.

I notice she refuses to listen to me. We share a small apartment that she lived in before and I moved in. She has had a small dog for some time now but I think I might be allergic to it. I often get itchy and there is no other reason for it so I asked she would get rid of it but she does not listen to me.

It was fine so far, I don�t like dog that much either but I love her so it is okay for me. But she does not listen in other areas either. One day she told me she would go out with this horrible girl who smokes weed and I am not okay with drug use and she promised to come home at 8 p.m but she came 8.30 p.m smelling like weed.

I was very angry at her and disciplined her and she threatened to break up with me so I told her I would kick her out and she started crying and it was a very emotional moment for me too. She said she did not smoke weed but I do not accept lying. We came to an agreement that she keeps the dog and can hang out with the girl but no weed and she will listen to me.

But then the other day I told her to have dinner ready when I come home from work and she was sitting on the couch.

I don�t understand how can we continue from now on because she did not follow our agreement� what should I do?

TLDR: girlfriend does not listen to me and follow our agreement

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:38

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

Beachcomber posted:

There is no better time than to blow up your life than the first semester of college.

this isnt blowing up your life. theyre lucky they have a strong impetus to drop the long distance relationships and move on. it is definitely weird though

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:42

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Anomalous Blowout posted:

lmao already deleted

My (M26) girlfriend (F19) will not listen to me

Sorry women in your current country have different ideas about �free will� and �abusive, controlling pricks� than whatever lovely repressive backwater you were raised in but someone needs to read you a Miranda warning or two

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:42

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Anomalous Blowout posted:

lmao already deleted

My (M26) girlfriend (F19) will not listen to me

Hey a long time lurker here, and today I made a account and post here since I have a big problem on my hands. Forgive me for any mistake because english is not my first language

I have been dating my girlfriend, let�s call her miranda, for about 4 months now. We come from different background but we get along well until lately.

I notice she refuses to listen to me. We share a small apartment that she lived in before and I moved in. She has had a small dog for some time now but I think I might be allergic to it. I often get itchy and there is no other reason for it so I asked she would get rid of it but she does not listen to me.

It was fine so far, I don�t like dog that much either but I love her so it is okay for me. But she does not listen in other areas either. One day she told me she would go out with this horrible girl who smokes weed and I am not okay with drug use and she promised to come home at 8 p.m but she came 8.30 p.m smelling like weed.

I was very angry at her and disciplined her and she threatened to break up with me so I told her I would kick her out and she started crying and it was a very emotional moment for me too. She said she did not smoke weed but I do not accept lying. We came to an agreement that she keeps the dog and can hang out with the girl but no weed and she will listen to me.

But then the other day I told her to have dinner ready when I come home from work and she was sitting on the couch.

I don�t understand how can we continue from now on because she did not follow our agreement� what should I do?

TLDR: girlfriend does not listen to me and follow our agreement

Going with fake.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 01:49

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Burt Sexual posted:

Going with fake.

I got that vibe too, but that it was deleted quickly feels like evidence to the contrary.

Was it a throwaway?

# ? Nov 20, 2018 02:07

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

tactlessbastard posted:

To be fair when I was 15 I knew a lot of other 15 year olds that hated their parents for no particularly good reason, mostly drivers license related.

When I was 15 I was put into a mental hospital as another way for my step-mom to really drive home how deficient I was. (I was given the choice: that or boarding school). I'm curious what the staff reported in my case since my stepmom and dad frivolously sued the hospital after I was released into my mom's care. Pretty sure they read my records before doing so.

I think the psychologist pretty much used cult deprogramming techniques to treat the damage my step-mom did.

Bored fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Nov 20, 2018

# ? Nov 20, 2018 02:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

gently caress Your Website posted:

Sorry women in your current country have different ideas about �free will� and �abusive, controlling pricks� than whatever lovely repressive backwater you were raised in but someone needs to read you a Miranda warning or two

the way being a woman sucks is different in every country

i've always admired how in some countries you're allowed to get fat once you're married

# ? Nov 20, 2018 02:23

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I hope someone murders the pitbulls and their owners from the rampaging child-destroying pits story.

E: and then I�ll stuff them for Pick

# ? Nov 20, 2018 02:23

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Biplane posted:

I hope someone murders the pitbulls and their owners from the rampaging child-destroying pits story.

E: and then I�ll stuff them for Pick

thanks! my taxidermy collecting has been down ever since I got most of the stuff I wanted :smith:

if anyone knows someone with a taxidermied bongo though, i am in the bongo market

# ? Nov 20, 2018 02:27

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

monkeytennis posted:

Which goons do you like?

Oh, I'm sorry, that's classified, eyes only, etc, etc.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:01

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Ridiculous that anyone is afraid their human child would be harmed by my innocent furbaby when humans are the most dangerous animals in the world

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:15

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

The type of people that own pits rarely should. They require a shitload of extra effort and training out of respect for their capabilities, if nothing else. People treat them like Labs when they really, really can't.

They can be great dogs but they require a degree of vigilance that 99% of people won't commit to. Run for the loving hills if you see someone with a Cane Corso though.

Wrath of the Bitch King fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Nov 20, 2018

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:17

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

pits get da fist

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:27

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

It always comes back to punching dogs, in the end.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:35

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

I [23 f] got really drunk and said some stuff that shocked my boyfriend. [30m]

quote:

Last Friday night, my boyfriend invited me to a party at one of his friends houses and I got wasted. We were walking home after and joking around and he asked me to do some "ninja moves" (for context I've been getting really into martial arts, these last couple of years) and I did a roundhouse kick at about head height to show off. It was sloppy because I was drunk but whatever.

He said something like "you could really gently caress someone up like that" and I went "yeah" but something about the way I said it must have come off as too serious because he immediately asked me "But you wouldn't?"

And I told him honestly, that yeah I would. I've been the victim of sexual violence before and some of my best friends have been assaulted too, once even in front of me and I regretted being to weak (physically or mentally) to do what I needed to help myself or my friends. I saw how little the police, HR departments at companys, college administrations, and other authorities do to help or protect women, and have come to see that I can't rely on anyone else for protection or justice. So I promised myself to never be weak again... Next time, and I know there will be a next time, I'd fight with everything I have, because I can't rely on anyone else to. If I want any justice for these kinds of assaults, I'll have to do it myself, in the moment when I can reasonably call it self defense.

My boyfriend had heard bits and pieces of this before. He knows I've been assaulted, he knows I have friends who have too. He knows I train for self defense. But I guess he never saw the full picture, of how I feel like it's certian there will be a next time... And how I absolutely intend to do everything I can to hurt anyone who might try and violate me or a friend.

And I think he's really shaken up by it. He's also shaken up by how calm and matter of fact I am about it all; but to be honest it's been my life for years so I'm not exactly emotional about it any more.

I've told a couple other people about this all, and they've treated it as quite reasonable. But they're all female friends who probably have a better idea of the kinda guilt and shame and fear I've felt. My boyfriend is the first dude I've told. He's asked me since that night if I really intend to hurt someone, and I told him that I hope I'd be mentally and physically ready to, when needed.

And he just can't stop saying how that doesn't sound like me, how unexpected and unlike me all this is. But it isn't really. It's been my reality for pretty much my whole adult life, probably even longer.

It's frustrating because his reaction just makes him seem really sheltered. He definitely grew up sheltered and I definitely didn't, but I think this is the biggest time our perspectives on something differed. (A couple other examples are how he has way more faith in law enforcement, the court system, and many other institutions than I do. Because they've served him and his family who's relatively wealthy well... But I just do not have the same experience.)

TLDR - My boyfriend of 4 months was shocked by my views on self defense, and the reasons I train so hard. I don't know how to bridge the gap and make him understand... We've had such different experiences in life.

tfw you realize the younger woman you were hoping to control can and will take your loving head off

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:47

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Straight White Shark posted:

I [23 f] got really drunk and said some stuff that shocked my boyfriend. [30m]

tfw you realize the younger woman you were hoping to control can and will take your loving head off

I did not expect to anyone would top the guy who was terrified of his girlfriend after seeing her beat the poo poo out of someone but this hero couldn't even handle hearing about it hypothetically

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:53

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

I'm very traumatized hearing about your sexual assault, no I haven't experienced any myself, it's just that, my discomfort is very uncomfortable, please respect my feelings and stop being so scary!

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:55

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Straight White Shark posted:

I [23 f] got really drunk and said some stuff that shocked my boyfriend. [30m]

tfw you realize the younger woman you were hoping to control can and will take your loving head off

She has recovered from sexual assault and yet he apparently cannot recover from her having the strength to move on and learn to protect herself. What a bitchmade little wussy boi.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:57

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

gently caress Your Website posted:

TFW you're nothing but an accessory to your narcissist boyfriend's toxic brand.

And he's awful at his "brand" because you can work that entire story + black eye into "hey y'all, my girlfriend is bad rear end."

Because she is.

Anomalous Blowout posted:

let�s call her miranda

....proceeds to never use the name again in the story, does not include multiple people so a fake name is not necessary.....thanks for following the formula I guess?

# ? Nov 20, 2018 03:58

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Biplane posted:

I hope someone murders the pitbulls and their owners from the rampaging child-destroying pits story.

E: and then I�ll stuff them for Pick

I know this is dangerously low-T by thread standards but I actually don�t think the dogs should be murdered.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:19

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

With judicious application of Five Burning Fists technique to the dog's vishuddha chakra they will be left alive but incapacitated and easily dispatched by the weakest of toddlers.

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Nov 20, 2018

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:21

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Pirate Radar posted:

I know this is dangerously low-T by thread standards but I actually don’t think the dogs should be murdered.

Of course not, people get "murdered." Dogs are property so they get "destroyed."

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:28

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Motronic posted:

And he's awful at his "brand" because you can work that entire story + black eye into "hey y'all, my girlfriend is bad rear end."

Because she is.

That or the much more likely scenario of people seeing it at a glance wonder if there was a domestic situation going on. We had a couple stories posted itt where that sitcom sounding scenario was a very real thing and I'd imagine it'd be even worse over the internet.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:42

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

hosed up that guys who have a "brand" aren't viewed socially on about the level of wifebeaters already

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:44

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

hosed up that guys who have a "brand" aren't viewed socially on about the level of wifebeaters already

I read that as "wildfires" for a second, and honestly, was I wrong?

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:55

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

The type of people that own pits rarely should. They require a shitload of extra effort and training out of respect for their capabilities, if nothing else. People treat them like Labs when they really, really can't.

They can be great dogs but they require a degree of vigilance that 99% of people won't commit to. Run for the loving hills if you see someone with a Cane Corso though.

It�s well intended but too much �it�s the owner not the breed� has set some pretty wrong expectations for the specific type of care that some breeds need imo

�Crate and rotate� is a big thing with responsible pit owners for example

# ? Nov 20, 2018 04:58

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

therobit posted:

Of course not, people get "murdered." Dogs are property so they get "destroyed."

That except unsarcasticly

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:03

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

tactlessbastard posted:

That except unsarcasticly

I promise you it was not sarcastic to begin with.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:08

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

When a cat soldier tells you they want to kill dogs, believe them the first time.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:10

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Fallom posted:

�Crate and rotate� is a big thing with responsible pit owners for example

I'm not familiar with that term, so I just picture a crated dog on a slowly spinning turntable

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:11

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

An infant weak enough to be defeated by a dog would only have brought dishonor to your family had it lived

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:12

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Pick posted:

thanks! my taxidermy collecting has been down ever since I got most of the stuff I wanted

if anyone knows someone with a taxidermied bongo though, i am in the bongo market

Pick, what the hell kind of ritual are you trying to pull off with a taxidermied bongo? Gonna go full Pet Semetary and bury us all in half rats and mushy dogs.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:15

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

The day I was born every dog within seven miles of the hospital began to yip and wail, knowing that God had sent a great scourge on their people, but I'm not trying to brag, the doctors told my family seven miles is average for a healthy boy child

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:22

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

If you're not reflexively delivering a stone cold stunner to every dog you encounter on sight, you may as well just live in a loving cave away from civilization.

# ? Nov 20, 2018 05:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Pick, what the hell kind of ritual are you trying to pull off with a taxidermied bongo? Gonna go full Pet Semetary and bury us all in half rats and mushy dogs.

no like a bongo antelope