/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

What kind of monster uses reconstituted potatoes for Thanksgiving

e. I am thankful for my :synpa:

abilities.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:19

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 23:39

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

phasmid posted:

What kind of monster uses reconstituted potatoes for Thanksgiving

e. I am thankful for my abilities.

Flyover states

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:22

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Roasted potatoes over mashed all the time, every time.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:23

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

binge crotching posted:

Flyover states

That's even less of an excuse! We're the drat breadbasket!

Universe Master posted:

Roasted potatoes over mashed all the time, every time.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:28

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

gently caress Your Website posted:

I'd refer them to that 'estraged parents forums' link shared earlier in this thread (https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/) and tell them "Here you go, this should explain everything"

Better yet: look up DWIL Nation. The people there are loving crazy but they can see a DHS visit coming from a mile away.

Taima posted:

Rich malaise is real and a lot of these people live the most unfulfilling and genuinely unpleasant lives that you can imagine.

GOOD

Sometimes the only thing that comforts me when I read estranged parents forums is that they're more miserable than me and can't/won't do anything about it. Anyway, it's Thanksgiving time in the US so they're going more nuts than usual because they want that picture-perfect family and their kids aren't cooperating.

quote:

Although I read this site daily, looking for ways to go on with life, I don�t often write anything because like others I feel what I write is stupid. But I am so down and feel no one cares I need to write my feelings. Our estrangement with our son is going on 20 months. �We� is only because his father is married to me. It�s all me . His wife feels I am a rude bitch, he feels I am a bully. There was never a problem until he married, but whatever. We no longer see our son, have not seen our grandson in 20 months. Nothing is better. I pretend that life is good. It is not. I know if it weren�t for our daughter I would have called it quits. I know this isn�t what I should be writing on this forum. I know I should be saying things like stay strong, learn to move on, this is not what you deserve but I can�t. I hate what had happened! No matter what my Dil and Es believe I did nothing to have our grandson taken from us. Thanks for listening. Sorry for being so negative.[/b]

quote:

For my son�s whole life he had a normal, healthy diet. He had a large appetite from the beginning and I always cooked at home, limiting fast food and eating at restaurants for special occasions.
He was always trying to talk me into mcdonalds but for the most part, instead I would get subway because it was a smarter choice.
for the holidays, he always enjoyed and looked forward to the meals served, and to me, the majority of the world splurges and then gets back to their regular schedule. the treats and homemade meals are part of what make the holidays special.
So, for the past 3-4 years, he�s refused to go to thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations (on top of hating my whole family) because the meal isn�t 100% organic. He has berated me about it and today sent me a text saying how I ruined his holidays because I didn�t make this happen for him.
This may sound silly and simple, but it�s just another way for him to try and make me feel like I was not a good mom�while I believe in my heart, I was good and always had his best interest at heart, I�m curious what others think about this.

quote:

I remember my mother saying things that sounded like a warning to me and yet, time and time again she was proven right. I never questioned her comments, she was older, more experienced in life and I was not. I respected what she had to say. She was, I felt, teaching me. Her �mark my words� were usually followed with a brief lecture about what was right. I used to get so annoyed because she was seldom wrong. But kids today don�t like �being told� what to do, they don�t like any criticism, by a concerned parent, either. If I opened my mouth to my kids, they would disappear off the landscape of my life for awhile. My daughter did it permanently. My husband, like yours, makes humorous comments which my daughter said her daughter at a young age, took offence to. one time. Grandpa �scared� her with his comments. I tried to explain to my small granddaughter that Grandpa grew up in a family of three boys and maybe didn�t know how little girls felt because of that�boys are different I explained�Seems you just have to button your lips and say nothing. Maybe these kids are overly sensitive. One thing I do know is that when your child decides to pick a bone with you, it�s a slippery slope before they resent everything you do or say. Just my experience. At some point though, where do they consider other people�s feelings or allowances for other people�s opinions. They sure don�t mind sharing theirs.

quote:

I honestly don�t even know where to begin, as my estrangement from my son has been in progress for the past 2 years. I am to the point now that I will be the one walking away for my own sanity, health, and emotional healing. I�m tired of the lies, the deceit, the double standards, being blamed for everything and the constant excuses. My ES is someone I no longer recognize and has become cold and callous. He stands in constant judgement of not only my husband and I, but other people as well. After meeting his wife (our DIL), he has gone from a caring and family-oriented person to a complete stranger. His wife is a devious and manipulative liar who has hated me and my husband since meeting us for the first time.

At my ES wedding my husband and I were shunned. Not in any of the wedding photos did my ES put his arm around us to include us. He stood there with his arm to his side, while his wife put her arm around her parents. Then at the wedding reception we were pushed to the very end of the table while our DIL�s parents took front and center next to them. We tried to address the issue with them much later down the road and the lame excuse was, �Well you should have said something. We had no idea.� Seriously? I guess they just think we are stupid or something. Anyone who loves their parents or wants to include them wouldn�t forget something as having your parents near you at the front of the table with you, or putting their arm around you in wedding photos. This hurt beyond belief but we were still trying to maintain a relationship with them and move forward.

Earlier this year we were invited to go to church with them for services and a BBQ afterward. My DIL ran into a friend in the foyer and started chatting then introduced her husband (my ES), and never even introduced us! We stood there in complete shock! When she finished, we went in to sit down in the back and she started to run off to the front of the church. She wanted to sit with her friends. I was actually surprised that my ES told her �no� that they would be sitting with us. I guarantee that if her parents would have been there instead of us, she would have introduced them and never dreamed of leaving them to sit alone at the back of the church! After being treated so horribly by her, needless to say we would never attend a church service with them again. She has accused us of not �liking� her, but yet when I asked her to give me an example of something we�ve done to warrant her thinking this, she has nothing to back up her feelings. I told her if anything she is the one who doesn�t like us and then I gave her the example of this episode of when we went to church with them, after they invited us.

Things have just gotten worse and the relationship is so strained. My ES expects for us to chase after him and that just isn�t going to work for me. Either he can put on his big boy pants and come to the table and want a relationship or not. I�m tired of him catering to his in-laws and treating them way better than he treats us. One of his excuses is that our DIL�s parents live 450 miles away and she doesn�t get to see them whenever she wants like he can with his parents. Please! They actually see her parents more than they see us and we live in the same city. Double standard again. The only time we every seem to hear from them is when they want something from us. Recently my ES started being all nice and caring, like his old self. I should�ve known that he wanted something and would later turn on me. He did. He wanted us to take care of his animals while they went to visit her parents again. Stupid me, I agreed to do it after being treated horribly the last time we took care of the animals for them. As soon as my ES got home, I received an angry phone call from him wanting to know why we didn�t clean up the cat litter. I had to explain that we looked all over for a broom and dust pan but couldn�t find it. He informed me that it was out on the balcony, which had the blinds closed the entire time. I guess he expected us to know that without being told. He never left a note saying anything either. Then he was angry because one of the cats chewed up the electrical cord to their bedroom lamp. So, what? Am I supposed to have noticed that? He never mentioned anything about his cats doing destructive things such as chewing up electrical cords. Even though this wasn�t in our control, we got blamed for it.

Every time I have invited them to join us in doing something they say no and never have time. But, they always have time for other people and her parents. I no longer ask them to join us as I simply got tired of being told no. Recently, I invited them to come over for a Sunday dinner and it was planned like a week in advance. I rushed out to get a roast to put in the crock pot and about an hour later I got a text message saying that our DIL wasn�t feeling well and they weren�t coming. That was a major turning point for my husband and I. I understand his wife was feeling ill, but the fact that he didn�t even have the decency to CALL us and let us know. I don�t mind texting for small things, but something like cancelling a dinner, in my book, warrants a phone call. I was so angry from being treated like an afterthought that I had to wait a few days before I called to talk to him. When I did talk with him I told him I was upset about not receiving a phone call, but a text. He didn�t see the issue, of course. Then came the excuses. �Oh, well calling takes too long.� �You never answer your phone.� That last statement was a lie as I always have my phone on me and it is rare I don�t answer my phone. Not to mention we have voice mail to leave a message. During our conversation of course, the blame was thrown back on me.

Our DIL and ES are expecting our first grandchild, of which they will used as a weapon against us and already have done. Upon our DIL�s first OB appointment she had already planned on video chatting her mother during the entire thing. Not once was I ever invited or thought to be invited. My daughter asked them one day if she could attend and which after the DIL and ES discussed it, decided it would be okay for her to attend. Then the DIL turns to me and as an afterthought, said I could attend if I wanted. I did attend, but I have so many mixed emotions about the baby as I have felt all along that my husband and I will be excluded from everything pertaining with the pregnancy or having a real relationship with the child. After the appointment my DIL said she would get copies of the sonogram and give us one. I have never received anything and when I addressed it with my ES he said they weren�t going to give copies out as you can�t see the baby yet. He stated they would do copies once the baby got bigger. I know I will never see anything, unlike her parents. I told my ES that it doesn�t matter how small or large the baby is, the sonogram pictures mean a lot to us. He didn�t seem to care what I thought.

I�m tired of the disrespect and well, frankly, I am tired of trying to keep the relationship in tact. I have gone through this same issue with my daughter who was estranged for the past 4 years. We just got our relationship back, only to have my ES do the same exact thing to us. I feel cursed! I have had 3 children, our first-born child, a son, passed away shortly after birth. Then we had our ES and then a daughter. I was a good mother, and nurtured my children. I�m tired of my ES standing in judgement of us and looking down his nose at us, like he thinks he is so much better.

I would love to be able to talk to him and tell him all the things he has done and continues to do in hurting us, but nothing good would come from it. Living with regret is a very bitter pill one chokes on after speaking words they can never take back. All I can do now is let go and be completely silent. I pray everyday which helps and in time I guess I will move on with my life. I am just so angry, hurt and betrayed, not to mention the double standards of how they treat the DIL�s parents compared to how we are treated.

The hardest part of all of this is the upcoming holidays and then next year the birth of what will be our first grandchild. We won�t be allowed to be a part of anything. I simply don�t know how to cope with it all. I guess one day at a time? It�s just like the death of a loved one, only it�s the death of a relationship. It is so painful!!

quote:

Way back in 1970 when my soon to be husband (the one who turned into a nightmare and the one I left almost four years ago � the parental alienator) and I went to see my parents to tell them we wanted to get married and we were there to talk about the wedding, my mother was full of excitement. She was even planning the cake and bridesmaid dresses and which church we should be married in. She whipped my 11 year old sister into a state of sheer excitement at the thought of being my bridesmaid and then enthusiastically sent us out to tell to tell my grandma (widowed the year before) and two aunts & uncles and cousins. We spent the whole afternoon doing as instructed, inviting them all to our wedding,.

When we got back to my parent�s house the whole atmosphere had changed and my mother greeted us with �We�re not coming�. In shock I begged and pleaded. Eventually she said �We can�t afford it� while my father said nothing, not one thing. No other explanation or discussion or reason was ever forthcoming (and now they are both dead).

We said we�d pay for the lot, have the wedding any where, buy everyone clothes if we had to, anything they wanted, if they�d just come to my wedding. They wouldn�t need to pay anything or do anything, just turn up. The answer remained no. My father remained silent.

I wanted to leave straight away but my o/h didn�t want to drive back so we stayed the night and left the next day but not before my father said �I hope you understand� and then said no more. I was too upset to answer and my mother (pretending all was normal) said nothing. It was never spoken of again and I never doubted that my mother meant it.

My little sister went deaf shortly afterwards because of the shock. She was deaf for six months. Nothing more was said and they didn�t change their minds. I didn�t even know she�d gone deaf until I left my husband and moved back here three years ago.

My dad kept on writing to me every few months and there was nothing from my mother. I kept on replying addressing the letters to both of them and never saying anything controversial, also never daring to write a personal letter to my little sister because I knew my mother would intercept it. It was another four years before we saw them again at my brother�s wedding which they attended.

These people are NUTS.

trickybiscuits fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Nov 22, 2018

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:32

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Baked potatoes when I'm lazy, roasted or pan fried potatoes when I'm not, mashed potatoes when my wife cooks, and French fries when I go out to eat at a diner. Potatoes are just good.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Potatoes are not all that exciting to me.

Yams, now.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:35

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Most people love their grandma's cooking mostly out of nostalgia, simply because it's their grandma's cooking.

And it seems like the Great Depression combined with wartime rationing and probably also the American Protestant ideas that everything remotely interesting is probably Satan's handiwork destroyed regional American food.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:36

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Also, a lot of traditional Thanksgiving food requires more work to make properly than people are willing to put in.

I know good turkey exists because I've had it exactly once, but every other time was soul-crushingly dry and flavorless. At least my family's always made mashed potatoes from scratch and avoided depressing casseroles.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:42

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Potatoes are not all that exciting to me.

Yams, now.

Yams and sweet potatoes are good too.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:47

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Haifisch posted:

At least my family's always made mashed potatoes from scratch and avoided depressing casseroles.

Same here. Extended family used to do casseroles at big gatherings but younger me knew that way lies great fatness.

therobit posted:

Yams and sweet potatoes are good too.

Sweet potato fries > french fries

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:49

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Haifisch posted:

Also, a lot of traditional Thanksgiving food requires more work to make properly than people are willing to put in.

I know good turkey exists because I've had it exactly once, but every other time was soul-crushingly dry and flavorless. At least my family's always made mashed potatoes from scratch and avoided depressing casseroles.

I'm sorry everyone you know is bad at cooking, unable to access quality ingredients, or lazy.

Living on the west coast is awesome because we have access to great food.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:51

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

phasmid posted:

Same here. Extended family used to do casseroles at big gatherings but younger me knew that way lies great fatness.

Sweet potato fries > french fries

As long as the don't add sugar to them, I will agree. The last couple times I have tried some at a rather they were sweetened with sugar and I was super disappointed.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:53

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

therobit posted:

As long as the don't add sugar to them, I will agree. The last couple times I have tried some at a rather they were sweetened with sugar and I was super disappointed.

Blech. No. Lightly salted. No sugar.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 07:55

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

therobit posted:

I'm sorry everyone you know is bad at cooking, unable to access quality ingredients, or lazy.

Living on the west coast is awesome because we have access to great food.

For context, I & all of my family live in the midwest.

I'd say more but honestly that explains most of it.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:04

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My boyfriend [28M] called another woman a "sexy little temptress" when she tried to get him to cheat on me.

So the other night my boyfriend of 2 years left my phone in my car. I brought it to him the next morning and a woman who had a history of texting him inappropriately in the beginning of our relationship happened to text him that night, which I didn't see because his phone had died. He accused me of texting her. He said it was weird that he hadn't talked to her in over a year and she texts him the night his phone is with me. I'm annoyed he would accuse me of that (he did apologize) but also somewhat upset he still had her contact info. I should point out that he has cheated on me in the past.

The next day I saw he had texted her after I dropped his phone off asking if he had texted her the night before (trying to figure out if I did,) saying it's weird that she texted him out of nowhere. She said no, and the conversation continued. She asked if she got him in trouble and offered to "help." He asked how she could help, and she responded by saying she'd give him a blowjob. He said he thought she didn't give blowjobs and when she said she'd make an exception, he said that she's the only person who didn't love blowing him. He then followed that with saying he loves his girlfriend and that if he was single maybe. I thought that would be the end of the conversation but it followed with something like this:

Him: Such a sexy little temptress

Her: You know you want to

Him: I'd love to

Her: Saturday?

Him: Where are you staying?

Her: My friend's place, you could come over.

Him: Thanks but I really love my girlfriend possibly soon fiance so thanks but no thanks.

I found the entire conversation to be weird and really disrespectful, even if he denied her. I thought back to how after I dropped his phone off he texted me "You didn't install some spying software on my phone did you lol" It was a joke obviously, but the conversation was so bizarre it makes me feel like maybe he thought I could see the conversation somehow? He was engaging and flirting with her, but said "I have a girlfriend sorry" twice. Why tell another woman you'd "love to" hook up with her without bad intentions?

I'm not sure how seriously to take this. He denied her, but who's to say he wouldn't deny someone else? After all we have been through after him cheating, I'm shocked he would even take the chance of talking to another woman like this. Is this worth ending the relationship over?

tldr; Boyfriend was flirting sexually with another woman via text and even though he denied her when she asked to hook up, I still found the conversation to be inappropriate and disrespectful, especially since he has cheated on me in the past.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:09

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

The only appropriate time to use the phrase "sexy little temptress" is when you are down to the last donut in a box of a dozen.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:14

Marin Karin: Jul 29, 2011; What are you, compared to my magnificence?

I always feel bad for these late-teen/early-20's people who feel compelled to stay with lovely partners due to inexperience. You'll find someone way better than this fuckboy.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:23

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

trickybiscuits posted:

Better yet: look up DWIL Nation. The people there are loving crazy but they can see a DHS visit coming from a mile away.

GOOD

Sometimes the only thing that comforts me when I read estranged parents forums is that they're more miserable than me and can't/won't do anything about it. Anyway, it's Thanksgiving time in the US so they're going more nuts than usual because they want that picture-perfect family and their kids aren't cooperating.

These people are NUTS.

I really wonder what the real story is behind a lot of these. I suppose it's possible that a few of them had sociopathic children.

I have no loving idea what's supposed to have happened in the last story. Did the dad just veto for some reason between the morning and the night?

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:31

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Beachcomber posted:

I really wonder what the real story is behind a lot of these. I suppose it's possible that a few of them had sociopathic children.

I have no loving idea what's supposed to have happened in the last story. Did the dad just veto for some reason between the morning and the night?

They counted the silver and came up short.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 08:40

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Beachcomber posted:

I really wonder what the real story is behind a lot of these. I suppose it's possible that a few of them had sociopathic children.

I have no loving idea what's supposed to have happened in the last story. Did the dad just veto for some reason between the morning and the night?

Yeah it's so bizarre. Worth the read. The whole "shock of not being my bridesmaid made my sister deaf for 6 months" really smacks of someone who is just making things up to gain sympathy. Who wouldn't push the parents to tell them why the heel-turn happened?

I'm betting the narrator has some kind of persecution complex and doesn't really think about plot holes when she's spinning 50-year-old anecdotes to make her and her sister look as put-upon as possible

# ? Nov 22, 2018 09:22

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

therobit posted:

As long as the don't add sugar to them, I will agree. The last couple times I have tried some at a rather they were sweetened with sugar and I was super disappointed.

I've spent the past page or so trying to work out why you all have a problem with vegetables and potatoes oven cooked in a pan. After I found out what these people do to iced tea I should have known the answer was sugar.

What the hell is with the sugar.

Splicer fucked around with this message at 09:28 on Nov 22, 2018

# ? Nov 22, 2018 09:25

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

I think my boyfriend raped me! Help me understand!

quote:

Hello all, I'm asking for some advice and guidance... This is a long one I do apologize in advance...

Well one of my buddies introduced me to a guy and we started seeing each other and I fell for him because he said he loved me since the first date, mind you this is 2 months of dating. He said I was the one because he never felt anything like that with any other girls, and that we are destiny...

So I fell for it I really thought he was sthe one because I never had a guy fall for me that hard.. even though I didn't feel anything in my heart I thought maybe I just need some time to realize and feel love for him. Practically he was saying all the things I wanted to hear. He wanted to get married, have kids and it was to good to be true.. He kept wanting to meet my family and get involved with them and come to family gathers and holidays, mind you it's only been couple months...

Fast forward to couple weeks ago we went out and had couple glasses of wine and dinner and all I remember I was i got really sleepy so sleepy and that's all I wanted to... I started sleeping on his shoulder and then on the table to a point where they said we gotta go.. I felt like I was soo drunk I couldn't even walk, I kept falling to the sides, I couldn't even talk and my legs felt like Jell-O.

Well he drove us to his house and I remember cuddling on his couch and next thing I remember is we are on the floor and he is on top of me with my pants off, mind you we were already intimate in our relationship... I try to say something but I can't say anyting, I know what I want to say but it's not coming out of my mouth.. and I was coming in and out of consciousness, I remember trying talking to him but I don't even remember what I said.

I couldn't control anything he was doing to me, my body just went along with everything he was doing, when I came to again he was giving me anal which I told him before couple times I would never do that... I do remember telling him Ow! Ow! and he said am I hurting you? But didn't care about it...

I woke up next day and ran out of the house... I saw lube on the couch and remembered right aways bits and pieces... I was so disgusted with him and ashamed of myself.... He called me right away and I wasn't answering so of course he was panicking and knew he was in the wrong because I wasn't answering..

Once I talked to him he told me his side of the story and said that we both got drunk and he could barely drive us home he didn't remember where to go, apparently we stopped by the store and got lube, which I don't remember... but the first thing he said was "I can't believe I took advantage of you" he kept blaming us for drinking to much even tho I never fall asleep after 2 glasses of wine and also his excuse was he thought I was ok with it... He also mentioned I never said no or stop otherwise he would have but i told him i did say ow and you still didn't stop.. practically he just kept apologizing... Said there was no communication about it. He pretended like he didn't remember anything!

I was so sick for two to three days, I was nauseous, no appetite, I was shaking, and anxiety, fast heart beat, couldn't sleep and sweats... I put everything together and I think I was drugged and raped and taken advantage of and violated. I did start to doubt like maybe he's right I didn't say anything I didn't say to stop, but knowing me there's no way I kept silent through all that..

He tried to play it off and told me to forget about it and move on... I felt pain and sadness in my heart that this happened to me because I thought he loved me and cared for me but instead he took advantage of me..

I'm depressed and anxious and I have this scary experience running through my head constantly! I cry and feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I fell into this trap... I tried to leave him and he made me feel so guilty and manipulated me with tears and everything and I felt bad. He promised he would never do this again. I know for a fact I need to leave him but my emotions aren't letting me.. Please help me understand and advise me what to do and how to do it beyond this point...does this sound premeditated? And do you think he did this before? Thanks so much

loving scum that walks this Earth :smith:

# ? Nov 22, 2018 09:28

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

He roofied his girlfriend just so he could have anal sex? :stare:

# ? Nov 22, 2018 09:41

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Please can we avoid harrowing depictions of rape and/or domestic abuse in the thread? It�s not fun to read or discuss, beyond �Lock him up�.

Boyfriend has really concerning sexual fantasies

quote:

u/quasiquarter
TL;DR I thought we were having a �perfect� sex life, but boyfriend has what amounts to a necrophilia fetish that he requested we try out. I love him but it�s really weird and concerning. What should I do?

Sorry for this being a throwaway account, but friends know my main account.

My boyfriend [m20] and I [f19] have been dating for about 13 months. I am very happy in the relationship, and I thought we had been having a really great sex life too. We are pretty open about nonstandard sexual things, and I have been able to fulfill a lot of sexual fantasies because of that. He would always say that it was fun helping me fulfill my fantasies, but never had anything that he wanted to try out. Everything that we did was essentially my idea, and by the nature of the fantasies I lead things anyway.

Last week was really exciting for me because he finally brought up things that he would want to try the next time we have sex. Sparing details, it wasn�t that surprising having him articulate that he liked being submissive and had requests to go along with that, but I found it really concerning that he apparently fantasizes about what is essentially necrophilia.

He didn�t call it that but he described a fantasy about being killed/mutillated and and have various sexual things be done during and after the process. He requested that I cut him with a knife and essentially threaten him with things he described in his fantasy.

Putting aside logistics, is this healthy to entertain? Is there something wrong with him? Should I encourage him to see a therapist? I found it very worrying, but am I reacting inappropriately? I guess if it�s just a fantasy, it is fine? If this is ok to entertain, how would I research logistics/safety?

I am strongly inclined to try this for him because all of our sex has been focused on me and not him, and I really want to give him an opportunity to fulfill his fantasies too. Would it be selfish of me to turn down the main sexual fantasy he has because I think it�s weird when he goes along with my fantasies that are probably weird to him?

Any ideas for logistics would be appreciated too, but I�m guessing that part of the issue is a question for a different sub.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 10:01

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Splicer posted:

I've spent the past page or so trying to work out why you all have a problem with vegetables and potatoes oven cooked in a pan. After I found out what these people do to iced tea I should have known the answer was sugar.

What the hell is with the sugar.

I blame the 1950s for spawning all of the "popular" culinary abortions that we still have today

After WW2 sugar became a prevalent commodity again and people just went nuts. Everything had to have extra sugar, mayo, and gelatin. Oh what a nice slice of beef you have there ready to go in your oven but you know what'd make it better some loving meringue and pineapple rings all over it, let's turn that roast into CAKE. Savory is not a word that I understand, everything has to be sweet and possibly encased in gelatin or else it's not Cooking

I mean look at this poo poo:

This is "Perfection Salad". Someone took the ingredients of a common tossed salad and said "I'm going to encase this in sugar and gelatin and then put some lettuce on top so people know it's healthy". This was a common dish in the 1960s

# ? Nov 22, 2018 10:13

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

QuarkJets posted:

I blame the 1950s for spawning all of the "popular" culinary abortions that we still have today

After WW2 sugar became a prevalent commodity again and people just went nuts. Everything had to have extra sugar, mayo, and gelatin. Oh what a nice slice of beef you have there ready to go in your oven but you know what'd make it better some loving meringue and pineapple rings all over it, let's turn that roast into CAKE. Savory is not a word that I understand, everything has to be sweet and possibly encased in gelatin or else it's not Cooking

I mean look at this poo poo:

This is "Perfection Salad". Someone took the ingredients of a common tossed salad and said "I'm going to encase this in sugar and gelatin and then put some lettuce on top so people know it's healthy". This was a common dish in the 1960s

Ah yes, The Midwest.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 10:17

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Milotic posted:

Please can we avoid harrowing depictions of rape and/or domestic abuse in the thread? It�s not fun to read or discuss, beyond �Lock him up�.

Yeah, I kind of thought we�d decided not to post those ones.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 10:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Pirate Radar posted:

Yeah, I kind of thought we�d decided not to post those ones.

They're incredibly un-fun but that said I hope some people in this thread have gained some empathy based on learning what life is like for a lot of people you pass by on the street and don't normally think about

# ? Nov 22, 2018 10:44

Elfgames: Sep 11, 2011; Fun Shoe

QuarkJets posted:

I blame the 1950s for spawning all of the "popular" culinary abortions that we still have today

After WW2 sugar became a prevalent commodity again and people just went nuts. Everything had to have extra sugar, mayo, and gelatin. Oh what a nice slice of beef you have there ready to go in your oven but you know what'd make it better some loving meringue and pineapple rings all over it, let's turn that roast into CAKE. Savory is not a word that I understand, everything has to be sweet and possibly encased in gelatin or else it's not Cooking

I mean look at this poo poo:

This is "Perfection Salad". Someone took the ingredients of a common tossed salad and said "I'm going to encase this in sugar and gelatin and then put some lettuce on top so people know it's healthy". This was a common dish in the 1960s

i mean i'm pretty sure nobody actually ate those* they were meant to be centerpieces
that were showing off your newfound middle class wealth because you could afford the refrigeration necessary to make one
*some poor probably people did actually eat them because they were showing off more than they had

# ? Nov 22, 2018 11:41

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

If it was just a centerpiece then the recipe would be very simple; gelatin mix with water, add vegetables, refrigerate. But that recipe has lemon juice, apple juice, and a cup of sugar added to it in an attempt to make it palatable. People were meant to actually eat these things

# ? Nov 22, 2018 11:58

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

What is it with Americans and gelatin

They tried to do Jello here in my, much better, country but it didn't stick

# ? Nov 22, 2018 12:04

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Like did we already forget what we were talking about? Sugar on roasted yams. People make and then eat all sorts of stupid poo poo. You ever have Reuben Chowder? It is foul.

e: ^^^ Gelatin fell out of fashion in America sometime in the 70s-80s, thank god. But so many other terrible things continue to exist

# ? Nov 22, 2018 12:05

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

QuarkJets posted:

I blame the 1950s for spawning all of the "popular" culinary abortions that we still have today

After WW2 sugar became a prevalent commodity again and people just went nuts. Everything had to have extra sugar, mayo, and gelatin. Oh what a nice slice of beef you have there ready to go in your oven but you know what'd make it better some loving meringue and pineapple rings all over it, let's turn that roast into CAKE. Savory is not a word that I understand, everything has to be sweet and possibly encased in gelatin or else it's not Cooking

I mean look at this poo poo:

This is "Perfection Salad". Someone took the ingredients of a common tossed salad and said "I'm going to encase this in sugar and gelatin and then put some lettuce on top so people know it's healthy". This was a common dish in the 1960s

I will never believe these were commonly eaten. It's not possible. These are transdimensional artifacts that came through when we hit the hellworld timeline. These are foods of the damned.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 12:20

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

At some point my sister and I told our Mom we didn't really like a big roasted turkey, so she started to do a big Virginia ham instead and bring that to our family's get together. Pretty sure by this point everyone enjoys the ham more, but a turkey is still done for tradition.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 12:47

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Ham, I think, is harder to gently caress up than turkey.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 13:19

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Pirate Radar posted:

Ham, I think, is harder to gently caress up than turkey.

Oh, would that it was so.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 13:26

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

Pirate Radar posted:

Ham, I think, is harder to gently caress up than turkey.

You can gently caress both with ease.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 13:35

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Beachcomber posted:

I really wonder what the real story is behind a lot of these. I suppose it's possible that a few of them had sociopathic children.

The tendency for non-sociopathic parents of sociopathic children is to read a few of the posts at places like that, and then slowly back away. :yikes:

Milotic posted:

Boyfriend has really concerning sexual fantasies

I'm pretty sure it's not necrophilia if you want to be the corpse.

# ? Nov 22, 2018 14:11

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 23:39

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Roast pork with crackling is better than ham anyway

# ? Nov 22, 2018 14:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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