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May 31, 2024 18:38
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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Here's a fun one from the 'don't date grad students' category.
my (26F) boyfriend (28M) spends practically no time with me. Has virtually no interest in anything other than “his life”. I recently moved from my home town, at his request, to be with him as he starts graduate school.
quote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He was accepted into graduate school, and we moved to the college town in July. Before this, we lived 90 minutes away from each other, though saw each other several times a week. We each had our own separate apartment.
Towards the end of my boyfriends old lease, he had moved into my (old) apartment while we made arrangements to move out to the college town. Things were normal. Things were good. I was happy.
Upon arriving to our new town, I was unemployed for a total of 3 months. This put a tremendous strain on our relationship, and severely depressed me, though we have since recovered.
Now employed (3 months), making a tremendous amount of money whilst working in my nations capital, I have found myself sincerely unhappy. I love my job, almost too much to believe. I genuinely love my coworkers, and the doctors who employ me. I now find that my relationship is a huge stress on me.
My boyfriend would say “Everything’s great!” if you asked him how he thought our relationship is going. He would absolutely believe that. I often open up to him and tell him how I feel, but he is always quick to pull the “It hurts my feelings that you’re saying I’ve hurt your feelings” card.
His primary focus is on grad school, as it rightly should be. Though all he wants to do is talk about grad school. We only EVER talk about grad school. Nothing and no one is more important than school. Nothing else exists to him, except HIS school. He will miss birthdays/holidays/anniversary’s. For example: I had a great review at work, and asked if he would like to have a tiny celebration dinner. He tells me, “Sure! My grad school friends are going out tonight. Want to come out with us?” No, I do not. I want to feel like my life happenings and my successes are important to you, no matter how small. He “plans” date nights, which are realistically just nights he sets aside so I won’t bitch all week. We don’t have sex as much as we used to, because he’s not offering, and I feel completely empty. It feels like I am FORCING him to take interest in me.
I am very happy for his success. I am so completely happy for him. I just feel as if I’ve hit a wall in this relationship. I feel distant and detached emotionally. I feel numb.
Am I overreacting or do you think he is unable to date and attend school simultaneously? I left my hometown, my family, and everyone I love for this relationship. and it’s all sour.
Literally ANY advice would help at this point.
TL;DR My boyfriend and I recently moved away for him to attend graduate school. He is absolutely uninterested in anything that isn’t related to his life/his schooling. He spends no time with me, or anywhere outside of school for that matter. Any interaction we have is “planned”, and it feels like I am forcing him to take interest in me.
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Nov 30, 2018 15:39
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- Dienes
- Nov 4, 2009
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dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
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College Slice
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Here's a fun one from the 'don't date grad students' category.
my (26F) boyfriend (28M) spends practically no time with me. Has virtually no interest in anything other than “his life”. I recently moved from my home town, at his request, to be with him as he starts graduate school.
I mean, he's poo poo at work-life balance, so he's not innocent in this, but she also needs to go make friends and not expect to have 100% of his attention. I mean, she even admits "He “plans” date nights, which are realistically just nights he sets aside so I won’t bitch all week." but doesn't say what is wrong with the weekly date nights other than implying there's not enough of them.
Keep in mind though I'm just a bitter doc student and this is reminding me of my ex that broke up with me because I didn't want to go out drinking 3-4 nights a week until midnight while doing my masters. "I was able to socialize while finishing my Bachelor's in Art, why can't you do this?"
That and for criticizing him for spending $200 on a frame for a Wing Commander poster.
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Nov 30, 2018 16:03
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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/r/relationships.txt: she made out with a guy and blew him off whilst drunk at a party
Blowing someone off and blowing them are vastly different, arent they? Or has slang once again ruined language?
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Nov 30, 2018 16:20
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- Rubellavator
- Aug 16, 2007
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I'm sick of the rampant use of the word "whilst" in these r/r posts.
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Nov 30, 2018 16:23
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Blowing someone off and blowing them are vastly different, arent they? Or has slang once again ruined language?
Just missing a comma: "and blew him, off whilst drunk at a party"
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Nov 30, 2018 16:24
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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Not from that specific subreddit, but figured it qualifies.
my boyfriend discovered I have a lot of money and it's triggered a huge fight, thinking about breaking up
quote:Some necessary background: I am in my mid-twenties, and work in education. The pay is low, but I'm frugal by nature and manage to live comfortably within my means. Sure I have an old car and my apartment is tiny and not close to work and my computer isn't the latest and greatest, but I'm content with what I have. I knew I'd never make lots of money working in education, and I'm okay with that. It's rewarding in other ways.
Enter Ben, who I've been dating for almost a year now. Ben's a couple of years older than me and works in IT, where he makes a lot more money than I do. While there's a lot I really like about Ben - we have a lot of shared interests, he's funny, and he's an amazing cook - he also keeps trying to impress me by buying me stuff he knows I'd have a hard time affording on my salary and offering to pay for us to eat at really fancy restaurants, things like that. I've told him repeatedly that I don't care about that stuff, I'm happy with a simple lifestyle and my favorite dates are just going to a great local market where he picks out what to make for dinner, then going to one of our apartments to watch Deep Space Nine on netflix. Ben says it's no trouble, he likes taking care of me. And he really is a terrific cook, benefits of being Italian-American I guess.
The problem is, Ben doesn't know that a few years ago my very wealthy grandfather died and divided his wealth and assets among his grandchildren. My portion is a very significant amount, likely more than I'll make in my life. I immediately used it to pay off my student loans, then told the company that manages the finances to keep it invested safely. I haven't touched this money since, I think of it as a rainy day fund in case of an emergency, or if nothing else it will go to any kids I might have and their education. Once a month I get a letter from the company about my status, which in prep for tax purposes I put in a locked drawer at my computer desk. I keep the key to that drawer in my purse.
Yesterday we were at my apartment for another date-in night, and I briefly left to go pick up the dinner we'd ordered from a pizza we like (hey, we were tired and didn't want to make dinner). I only took my wallet, I figured there was no need for my purse.
I came back to find that Ben had gone through my purse, found my desk key, opened up the drawer where I keep all my papers for taxes, and found out about my grandfather's money. He was pissed, demanding to know why I'd strung him along and bled him for money when I had this kind of money. I told him that that money was a gift I save for emergencies, and he's known all along I'm happy living within the means I can afford without touching that fund. I told him I've kept saying he doesn't need to spend money on me and I hate going to fancy places, and also that this money was none of his business.
This triggered an even bigger fight and we both kinda ended up screaming at each other about problems we'd been having (mainly sex stuff, I really like anal but he's terrified of getting poop on his dick, he wants me to shave my pubic hair but I think going bald is gross, he doesn't like how many toys I have for solo entertainment nevermind that I had almost all of them before I met him, etc), and it came down to Ben saying he feels I don't appreciate him and me saying I think Ben is acting entitled to my money. He ended up leaving.
He's started leaving comments on my social media about me being a gold-digger and a stacy (???) taking advantage of nice guys, but fortunately without mentioning my grandfather's money.
I've calmed down a bit now, but I'm not sure what I should do. Besides the sex issues, Ben's attitude about finding out that I have money scares me and I'm thinking about breaking things off completely with him (and who even looks through your girlfriend's purse like that anyway?). But I'm afraid that if I do, he's going to start telling everyone about the money thing, which I've told almost no one outside my family about.
Any thoughts what I should do?
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Nov 30, 2018 16:31
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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If you own the mine you dont dig for the gold, Ben you loving wastrel
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Nov 30, 2018 16:34
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Not from that specific subreddit, but figured it qualifies.
my boyfriend discovered I have a lot of money and it's triggered a huge fight, thinking about breaking up
You have the money, just pay someone to kill him.
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Nov 30, 2018 16:36
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- MightyJoe36
- Dec 29, 2013
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 Cat Army
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quote:
Not from that specific subreddit, but figured it qualifies.
my boyfriend discovered I have a lot of money and it's triggered a huge fight, thinking about breaking up
quote:
Some necessary background: I am in my mid-twenties, and work in education. The pay is low, but I'm frugal by nature and manage to live comfortably within my means. Sure I have an old car and my apartment is tiny and not close to work and my computer isn't the latest and greatest, but I'm content with what I have. I knew I'd never make lots of money working in education, and I'm okay with that. It's rewarding in other ways.
Enter Ben, who I've been dating for almost a year now. Ben's a couple of years older than me and works in IT, where he makes a lot more money than I do. While there's a lot I really like about Ben - we have a lot of shared interests, he's funny, and he's an amazing cook - he also keeps trying to impress me by buying me stuff he knows I'd have a hard time affording on my salary and offering to pay for us to eat at really fancy restaurants, things like that. I've told him repeatedly that I don't care about that stuff, I'm happy with a simple lifestyle and my favorite dates are just going to a great local market where he picks out what to make for dinner, then going to one of our apartments to watch Deep Space Nine on netflix. Ben says it's no trouble, he likes taking care of me. And he really is a terrific cook, benefits of being Italian-American I guess.
The problem is, Ben doesn't know that a few years ago my very wealthy grandfather died and divided his wealth and assets among his grandchildren. My portion is a very significant amount, likely more than I'll make in my life. I immediately used it to pay off my student loans, then told the company that manages the finances to keep it invested safely. I haven't touched this money since, I think of it as a rainy day fund in case of an emergency, or if nothing else it will go to any kids I might have and their education. Once a month I get a letter from the company about my status, which in prep for tax purposes I put in a locked drawer at my computer desk. I keep the key to that drawer in my purse.
Yesterday we were at my apartment for another date-in night, and I briefly left to go pick up the dinner we'd ordered from a pizza we like (hey, we were tired and didn't want to make dinner). I only took my wallet, I figured there was no need for my purse.
I came back to find that Ben had gone through my purse, found my desk key, opened up the drawer where I keep all my papers for taxes, and found out about my grandfather's money. He was pissed, demanding to know why I'd strung him along and bled him for money when I had this kind of money. I told him that that money was a gift I save for emergencies, and he's known all along I'm happy living within the means I can afford without touching that fund. I told him I've kept saying he doesn't need to spend money on me and I hate going to fancy places, and also that this money was none of his business.
This triggered an even bigger fight and we both kinda ended up screaming at each other about problems we'd been having (mainly sex stuff, I really like anal but he's terrified of getting poop on his dick, he wants me to shave my pubic hair but I think going bald is gross, he doesn't like how many toys I have for solo entertainment nevermind that I had almost all of them before I met him, etc), and it came down to Ben saying he feels I don't appreciate him and me saying I think Ben is acting entitled to my money. He ended up leaving.
He's started leaving comments on my social media about me being a gold-digger and a stacy (???) taking advantage of nice guys, but fortunately without mentioning my grandfather's money.
I've calmed down a bit now, but I'm not sure what I should do. Besides the sex issues, Ben's attitude about finding out that I have money scares me and I'm thinking about breaking things off completely with him (and who even looks through your girlfriend's purse like that anyway?). But I'm afraid that if I do, he's going to start telling everyone about the money thing, which I've told almost no one outside my family about.
Any thoughts what I should do?
Took you this long to figure out you were dating an incel?
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Nov 30, 2018 16:42
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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Try not to blow anybody off on the way through the parking lot
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Nov 30, 2018 16:46
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Yeah I think the end-of-relationship meltdown has not only started but finished in this case
Once your boyfriend is using incel slang to denounce you on Facebook I don't think there's much left to salvage
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Nov 30, 2018 17:00
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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If you own the mine you dont dig for the gold, Ben you loving wastrel
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Nov 30, 2018 17:04
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Not from that specific subreddit, but figured it qualifies.
my boyfriend discovered I have a lot of money and it's triggered a huge fight, thinking about breaking up
I wish this was /relationships because I'm dying to know the ages. Guessing that "a couple years older" is at least 5. He is pissed that he can't control her financially.
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Nov 30, 2018 17:08
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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Yeah I think the end-of-relationship meltdown has not only started but finished in this case
Once your boyfriend is using incel slang to denounce you on Facebook I don't think there's much left to salvage
Honestly, sounds to me like Ben was the controlling type. He wanted a girl who made much less money than him so he could 'take care of her.' Upon finding out that no, he can't control her financially, he's pissed off.
e;fb
Cythereal fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Nov 30, 2018
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Nov 30, 2018 17:08
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- PizzaProwler
- Nov 4, 2009
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Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.
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It's also the first time I've seen the man in the relationship not willing to perform anal on a woman.
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Nov 30, 2018 17:29
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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It's no fun if she wants it!
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Nov 30, 2018 17:31
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- Cock Sucker
- Nov 14, 2018
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Just put on a condom dude and smear some vicks vapor rub on your stache if the smell bothers you.
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Nov 30, 2018 17:35
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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The inclusion of the sex talk is really unnecessary in that post. Why do we need to know she likes anal, a big bush, and sex toys? Wtf.
Break up with the guy that broke into your drawer. I mean, why would he even know where the key went? I'm having trouble believing this one, but why make up something so banal?
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Nov 30, 2018 18:02
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- CheesyDog
- Jul 4, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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So that we know that he was a big enough idiot to dump a rich horny teacher who likes DS9
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Nov 30, 2018 18:04
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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So that we know that he was a big enough idiot to dump a rich horny teacher who likes DS9
Yeah, it kind of seems that way. It's annoying that she thinks being italian-american is why they guy can cook.
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Nov 30, 2018 18:06
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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The inclusion of the sex talk is really unnecessary in that post. Why do we need to know she likes anal, a big bush, and sex toys? Wtf.
Break up with the guy that broke into your drawer. I mean, why would he even know where the key went? I'm having trouble believing this one, but why make up something so banal?
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Nov 30, 2018 18:07
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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The inclusion of the sex talk is really unnecessary in that post. Why do we need to know she likes anal, a big bush, and sex toys? Wtf.
Because it was more entertaining than anything else in the post?
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Nov 30, 2018 18:12
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- Collapsing Farts
- Jun 29, 2018
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💀
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The inclusion of the sex talk is really unnecessary in that post. Why do we need to know she likes anal, a big bush, and sex toys? Wtf.
Break up with the guy that broke into your drawer. I mean, why would he even know where the key went? I'm having trouble believing this one, but why make up something so banal?
its stdh
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Nov 30, 2018 18:20
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Posted by u/forsakenbyhotdogs
2 years ago
Me [35F] with my BF[41 M] of 3 years; just found out he has been secretly eating hot dogs because I (unknowingly) starve him
quote:I recognize that this sounds insane from the post title.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We have what I would describe as a pretty solid relationship. We have enough similar interests to enjoy activities together but enough divergent ones that we also have full, complete lives outside of the relationship. We already spend almost every night together and plan to move in together when his lease is up in the fall.
We work about three miles from each other and on some days carpool depending on schedules. Typically during the work week, I get up and make breakfast and pack our lunches. This has been ongoing since probably six months in. Usually for breakfast I don't do anything crazy: oatmeal, cereal, scrambled eggs and toast. Normal breakfast stuff. For lunch, I pack sandwiches, chips or pretzels, some sort of fruit, and a couple of days a week, a sweet treat. I always make his portions larger than mine and he's never complained before about any of it.
Today we went to lunch and stopped at a nearby park. I was sitting across the picnic table from him when I noticed some yellow on his shirt and made a comment, "You have yellow on you joke."
He looked over and scratched it away. There was a lot of it and I mindlessly said, "Did you take a mustard bath before lunch?" and he just turned bright red.
After some questions as to why he was embarrassed, the truth came out. I don't make him large enough meals, and almost every day for the past two or so years he takes his fifteen-minute morning break and walks to a nearby convenience store, where he purchases what can only be described as a second-breakfast hot dog.
I recognize this sounds ridiculous, but I am so hurt and upset that he has been starving all this time and never wanted to say anything. Of course, now I am embarrassed because he thinks it is all the funniest thing to ever happen, but I am really, really bothered that instead of sharing his discomfort with me like a normal person, he just had a mid-morning hot dog for months on end. The conversation eventually ended up with us both mad: Me for what I feel is deception, him for what he feels is me blowing this all out of proportion. Do I just ignore it, or is this indicative of bigger problems?
tl;dr: I have unknowingly starved my boyfriend for years and instead of talking to me about it, he has developed a second breakfast of almost daily hot dogs. Am I crazy to be upset?
EDIT: He is the one who said he was starving, not me. There's a whole lot of focus on that word choice, so wanted to clarify. I appreciate everyone's thoughts.
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Nov 30, 2018 18:21
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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As a connesuer of tubular meats, your boyfriend sounds fat
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Nov 30, 2018 18:39
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- kimbo305
- Jun 9, 2007
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actually, yeah, I am a little mad
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but why make up something so anal?
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Nov 30, 2018 18:41
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- CheesyDog
- Jul 4, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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Financially stable professional women with nerdy hobbies seem to 100% end up with complete garbage boyfriends
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Nov 30, 2018 18:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 18:38
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Nov 30, 2018 15:30
