Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Wasabi the J posted:

Man, all y'all acting like you wouldn't take a fighter jet to go smash are liars.

gently caress yes

Sign me up for Wing Commander Snatch's squadron, sounds like an awesome place to chase tail

# ? Nov 30, 2018 15:32

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 11:40

Cage Kicker: Feb 20, 2009; End of the fiscal year, bitch.
MP's got time to order pens for year year, hooah?

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made; Lipstick Apathy

quote:

The Vermont Digger has covered the Vermont Air Guard with a considerable level of scrutiny, revealing what they have dubbed a �flying fraternity� of sexed-up renegade pilots who abuse alcohol, mistreat women and receive special treatment by superiors.

Someone has never heard of a fighter pilot before lol

# ? Nov 30, 2018 16:34

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Carth Dookie posted:

Landing a harrier outside a girl's house is a bigger power move than pulling up in a Ferrari.

That's why you have to drink more pepsi than the ferrari.

# ? Nov 30, 2018 16:46

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Air Force trying to catch up to Navy circa Tailhook scandal?

# ? Nov 30, 2018 20:17

Itchy_Grundle: Feb 22, 2003

Based on his picture, he looks like he needed to show up in a fighter jet to get some.

# ? Nov 30, 2018 23:09

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Here's some historical idiocy: Army Unit Gets 14,500-Pound Anchor By Mistake

quote:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - An Army clerk thought he was ordering a $6.04 incandescent lamp. But instead he sent for a 14,500-pound anchor, and now it�s sitting in a shipping yard at Fort Carson.

The Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph uncovered the error, which began unfolding March 6 when a clerk in the 704th Maintenance Battalion at requisitioned the lamp.

The order number for that item is 2040-00-368-4972.

The order number for the anchor: 2040-00-368-4772.

But the clerk typed the latter number into his computer, said Maj. Tom Barnum, a spokesman for the Army post.

That is the number for "anchor, marine fluke" an item that costs $28,560,

"We had a couple of human errors that compounded the thing," Barnum said. "We know that the mistake will cost us some money."

The anchor arrived March 25, causing a stir.

"Someone astutely observed that it was not a lamp and it was sent back to installation supply," Barnum said. "The status right now is that it�s in our shipping yard, awaiting disposition instructions."

"We don�t want to just send it back to the West Coast if it might be headed somewhere like the shipyard in Philadelphia," he said.

It cost about $2,000 to ship the anchor by truck from the Sharpe Army Depot in Lathrop, Calif., to Fort Carson.

The Navy said the anchor probably would be used on a destroyer or light cruiser.

"We have a system to review requisitions," Barnum said. "Obviously, this order slipped through the review." The computer does show an abbreviated description of the ordered item, he said.

Also, the computer automatically validates order numbers. But because the number corresponded to an available item, the computer validated the number, he said.

The post has since installed an "override management system" to provide an additional check on requisitions, Barnum said.

Under the new system the computer will automatically kick out any order for a single item costing more than $2,000, he said.

Most items ordered on a daily basis cost far less than that, he added.

"It�s not a cure-all, but in this situation it probably would have prevented the order from going through because of the unit cost," Barnum said.

He also said the post is already using the "anchor example" in its training for parts-ordering clerks.

Here's another article about it by one of the poor bastards on post when it happened.

# ? Nov 30, 2018 23:21

M_Gargantua: Oct 16, 2006; STOMP'N ON INTO THE POWERLINES; Exciting Lemon

A similar thing happened to one of my friends on a carrier, they were ordering chemicals for reactor stuff and got delivered a very expensive jet engine. It wasn't even an engine for a plane their air wing would have needed either. But the squadron supply guy saw jet engine + carrier and okayed it.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 01:48

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

A friend of mine had an LPO who tried to order a few thousand rounds of 9mm for a command pistol qual, and instead ordered a few thousand hand grenades. They pulled in to the pier to find several pallets full of grenades waiting for them with an armed guard and a very curious supply officer.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 01:58

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

poo poo, that sounds like a party to me :haw:

# ? Dec 1, 2018 02:03

Lack of Gravitas: Oct 11, 2012; Grimey Drawer

CainFortea posted:

I did once have an actual Accidental Discharge. I had this old lever gun that some fudd had worked over and was working on getting it back into good shape.

It had a hair trigger, didn't always cycle right, so on. One time after i've done some fiddling with it I took it out to go test it. The trigger and poo poo was much better, but for some reason the action would lock right the gently caress up.

There was a bullet in the chamber, so we double checked no one was in the quarry with us, and I started working that fucker. Ended up putting it on my leg pointed it up and was jerking the lever when it went off. With the lever not fully engaged, so I never really figured out how the gently caress it did that. Put a hole in my popup canopy.

This thread has taught me that guns are instruments of murder and they thirst for blood and the death of their operators and those around them

edit: sorry, got that wrong, I was thinking of helicoptors

# ? Dec 1, 2018 03:27

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Here's some historical idiocy: Army Unit Gets 14,500-Pound Anchor By Mistake

Here's another article about it by one of the poor bastards on post when it happened.

That�s a cheap loving anchor, where can I get one of those?

# ? Dec 1, 2018 04:20

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Wingnut Ninja posted:

A friend of mine had an LPO who tried to order a few thousand rounds of 9mm for a command pistol qual, and instead ordered a few thousand hand grenades. They pulled in to the pier to find several pallets full of grenades waiting for them with an armed guard and a very curious supply officer.

That seems insanely expensive lol

# ? Dec 1, 2018 04:32

-Zydeco-: Nov 12, 2007

FrozenVent posted:

That�s a cheap loving anchor, where can I get one of those?

In 1985 apparently.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 04:44

AGGGGH BEES: Apr 28, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

https://taskandpurpose.com/penis-drawings-investigation/

:911:

# ? Dec 1, 2018 05:09

Lead out in cuffs: Sep 18, 2012; "That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."

AGGGGH BEES posted:

https://taskandpurpose.com/penis-drawings-investigation/

quote:

�[The] 69 EBS aircrew members confirmed, it was common practice for aircrews to create what was commonly referred to as �dick pics�

Nice

# ? Dec 1, 2018 05:15

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
Do Crime!

One time my shop wanted to order a new roll down projector screen. We misread the dimensions and we got a 26ft long projection screen.

i have no idea how it went up the supply chain.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 05:20

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Probably wasn't named "26ft projector screen" and wasn't crazy expensive. Easy to slip through the cracks.

There's some non-standard class IX items for strykers that are hard to distinguish from parts ordered to replace broken stuff so they won't set off the S8s alarm bells when he sees them.

Will become an issue when there's no broken parts to turn in for the new stuff though.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 05:58

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Mustang posted:

Probably wasn't named "26ft projector screen" and wasn't crazy expensive. Easy to slip through the cracks.

There's some non-standard class IX items for strykers that are hard to distinguish from parts ordered to replace broken stuff so they won't set off the S8s alarm bells when he sees them.

Will become an issue when there's no broken parts to turn in for the new stuff though.

Oh? I think that can be taken care of. :getin:

# ? Dec 1, 2018 06:00

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

Cage Kicker posted:

Someone has never heard of a fighter pilot before lol

Top Gun is 32 years old at this point, how is fighter jock culture still surprising people?

# ? Dec 1, 2018 07:45

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

tbf you can't be mad at people for not wanting to watch a Tom Cruise movie

# ? Dec 1, 2018 18:04

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I can be mad at people for not wanting to watch Top Gun.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 18:19

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

I actively refuse to watch Top Gun and there's not a god drat thing you can do about it.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 18:24

my kinda ape: Sep 15, 2008; Everything's gonna be A-OK; Oven Wrangler

mods changed my name posted:

tbf you can't be mad at people for not wanting to watch a Tom Cruise movie

What? His good movie:bad movie ratio is probably one of the best in Hollywood. I mean yeah he's an insane Scientologist in real life but his movies are good.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 19:01

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

And by all accounts he's a stand-up dude to work with.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 19:04

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

loving commies

# ? Dec 1, 2018 19:07

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

it's the middle tooth, its distracting

# ? Dec 1, 2018 19:07

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Never seen Top Gun.

That said, my favorite Tom Cruise movie is Edge of Tomorrow. In addition to being a solid movie, you get to see Emily Blunt cap Tom Cruise in the face repeatedly.

# ? Dec 1, 2018 19:57

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I actively refuse to watch Top Gun and there's not a god drat thing you can do about it.

The enemy's dangerous, but right now you're worse: dangerous and foolish.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 07:03

bulletsponge13: Apr 28, 2010

Top Gun was an Ironside/Kilmer vehicle that Tom Cruise happens to star in.

I mean, if you need a reason to watch it, besides it's loving fun and more homoerotic than the Infantry.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 15:22

Source4Leko: Jul 25, 2007; Dinosaur Gum

The Rat posted:

Never seen Top Gun.

That said, my favorite Tom Cruise movie is Edge of Tomorrow. In addition to being a solid movie, you get to see Emily Blunt cap Tom Cruise in the face repeatedly.

My ex hated Tom Cruise for some reason but loved this movie specifically because she got to watch him get shot in the head over and over, on top of it being a good movie.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 15:29

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Huh, weird. All my friends know I didn't watch Edge of Tomorrow because gently caress tom cruise. No one mentioned him getting popped over and over again.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 16:49

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

What the gently caress it's like the premise of the entire goddamn movie. It was originally going to be called "Live Die Repeat" or something like that.

It's literally Tom Cruise dying 50 different loving ways.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 16:51

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

CainFortea posted:

Huh, weird. All my friends know I didn't watch Edge of Tomorrow because gently caress tom cruise. No one mentioned him getting popped over and over again.

It�s really excellent in that aspect. Some of deaths are too funny.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:02

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Edge of Tomorrow is a brilliant black comedy masquerading as an expensive sci-fi action movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU5M7muMlJI

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:03

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

MA-Horus posted:

What the gently caress it's like the premise of the entire goddamn movie. It was originally going to be called "Live Die Repeat" or something like that.

It's literally Tom Cruise dying 50 different loving ways.

I thought it was 50 noble heroic Tom Cruise deaths.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:10

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

chitoryu12 posted:

Edge of Tomorrow is a brilliant black comedy masquerading as an expensive sci-fi action movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU5M7muMlJI

My favorite scene!

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:10

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

MA-Horus posted:

What the gently caress it's like the premise of the entire goddamn movie. It was originally going to be called "Live Die Repeat" or something like that.

It's literally Tom Cruise dying 50 different loving ways.

Did you know? It was renamed back to Live Die Repeat for video/streaming release.

Also the book it's adapted from is named All You Need Is Kill.

I'm very popular at parties.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:11

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Doc Hawkins posted:

Did you know? It was renamed back to Live Die Repeat for video/streaming release.

Also the book it's adapted from is named All You Need Is Kill.

I'm very popular at parties.

The book got adapted into a pretty good manga as well, if you want to experience the same story in another medium.

# ? Dec 3, 2018 17:21

Wibla: Feb 16, 2011

Doc Hawkins posted:

Did you know? It was renamed back to Live Die Repeat for video/streaming release.

Also the book it's adapted from is named All You Need Is Kill.

I'm very popular at parties.

Is the book any good?

# ? Dec 3, 2018 18:59

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 11:40

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Wibla posted:

Is the book any good?

Yes

# ? Dec 3, 2018 19:39

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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