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My (26F) boyfriend (28M) refuses to meet my parents. We have been dating for three years.quote:So I've been dating this guy for three years and you'd think we would already make the step to meeting each other's families. I will also add that we have been living long distance for about two years but I see him for extended periods of time about six times a year. quote:He barely talks to his family about his personal life -- friends or partners. He likes to keep things private and he also finds it hard work to communicate. And that it is tiring. quote:He doesn't like talking much about his personal life at all. He once told me his mother knows fewer than 10 of his friends' names. I have asked him straight up about whether he sees us having a future together and he hasn't said anything at all. I asked him whether he's just going to ignore everything I said to him and he basically asked me whether it occurred to me that people view the world differently from me. Which is honestly a trash answer. quote:So this is the thing. He often goes back to spend it with his family. We spent news year's together the past two years. This year he came over to where I'm based to spend most of the month with me and also see some friends. I thought it would be natural for him to come over for dinner or lunch one day, but he flat out said "no, we've been through this." He expects me to stay with him though...
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Dec 6, 2018 02:20
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Khazar-khum posted:I don't know what to call this: STDH, or Incel stupidity Chad: The time has come. The moment is at hand. Incel: *throws coke in their face* YOU ARE NOT PREPARED
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Dec 6, 2018 02:23
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I won a paid contest for a lifelike sex doll to be made of myself, now the company is not delivering [CA] u/ThrowawayNSFWcontest quote:I am an adult entertainer and a website that I sell my content through ran a contest for the winner to have a lifelike "sex clone" of them. Models had the fans pay for votes and then picked the winner from the top 5 earners. I made around $15,000 during the course of the contest and I was chosen as the winner. At first, I spoke with the owner of the company who makes the doll and he tried to pressure me into signing my name away for a line of sex toys with 0 money up front. He also wanted me to pay for the travel to have them made. None of this was mentioned anywhere in the contest information. (I attached two photos of the only contest details listed anywhere) He said it was either sign the contract or no doll. So I contacted the website that hosted the contest. They told me none of that was discussed beforehand and that they would take care of it. Time passed and they recently told me told me that they don't think the sex doll company will follow through and produce the doll so they offered me $500. When I originally spoke to the owner of the company he told me the body scans and producing the doll would be close to $10,000. The cheapest doll they sell on their website is $2500. This doesn't seem right to me, is this worth contacting a lawyer over and what type would be best dealing with a situation like this? It seems like they bait and switched the contest prize for my fans to pay for votes and then not deliver the prize they advertised. I never would have entered the contest if the prize was just $500. I am in California, the website hosting the giveaway is in Canada and the doll producer is in Georgia
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Dec 6, 2018 03:08
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How would a man born and raised on his family farm go about getting documented/registered?quote:A buddy of mine was born on the family farm and never got a birth certificate or any documents and has spent the majority of his life on the farm, education and all. I’m drat near sure the only time he ever leaves is to hit the gas stop (where I first met him- also where I found out he doesn’t even have a driver’s license or nothing). 
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Dec 6, 2018 03:21
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CheesyDog posted:I won a paid contest for a lifelike sex doll to be made of myself, now the company is not delivering [CA] why in the gently caress would- quote:I am an adult entertainer ...ohhh. LadyPictureShow posted:How would a man born and raised on his family farm go about getting documented/registered? SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE BANJOS
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Dec 6, 2018 03:24
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LadyPictureShow posted:How would a man born and raised on his family farm go about getting documented/registered? Good news, as a white person ICE wont gently caress with you even though legally they can just throw his rear end into the camps rather than trying to unfuck the situation. Thats where the good news ends. God help him if his parents dont have paperwork.
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Dec 6, 2018 03:31
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Boyfriend (28m) made a 'joke', I(26f) think I want to break up with him.quote:Hello everyone! This is a throwaway. I have been seeing my boyfriend Josh for about 8 months now. He has been a wonderful partner so far and we are still getting to know each other. He has treated me with respect and hasn't really said anything off hand to me like this before so thats where I'm not sure if I am overreacting or if I am justified in wanting to break up with him.
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Dec 6, 2018 03:37
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Barudak posted:Good news, as a white person ICE wont gently caress with you even though legally they can just throw his rear end into the camps rather than trying to unfuck the situation.
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Dec 6, 2018 03:37
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:It don't say nowhere in that dang post that farmboy is white. The way his friend writes and implicitly assumed they werent pulling a scam instead of immediately reporting them is screaming white.
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Dec 6, 2018 03:40
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Midnight Voyager posted:why in the gently caress would- Lmao if you wouldn't go for a free sex doll of yourself
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Dec 6, 2018 03:57
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Barudak posted:The way his friend writes and implicitly assumed they werent pulling a scam instead of immediately reporting them is screaming white.
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Dec 6, 2018 03:58
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Boyfriend (28m) made a 'joke', I(26f) think I want to break up with him. lmao rekt
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Dec 6, 2018 04:01
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As someone who has known/dealt with peoples whose families declined to do paperwork for them please, even if you hate the country you hold citizenship with give you child citizenship there if you have no other options because the only thing the nations of the world agree on is pissing on the statless from the greatest of heights
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Dec 6, 2018 04:05
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haha holy poo poo, apparently this is common enough in Texas that there's some dramatically-named law for dealing with rednecks who never bother to get their kids paperwork.
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Dec 6, 2018 04:07
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Boyfriend (28m) made a 'joke', I(26f) think I want to break up with him. We need a name for this woman so she can take her rightful place alongside Pete in the pantheon of this thread's heroes.
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Dec 6, 2018 04:09
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mllaneza posted:We need a name for this woman so she can take her rightful place alongside Pete in the pantheon of this thread's heroes. Petra.
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Dec 6, 2018 04:15
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Just read the bolded parts, because  .My coworker (40F) screamed at me for my (26F) personal family issues. I don't know how to handle this. quote:Tl;dr: my coworker went ballistic on me for deciding to cut my unstable sister out of our lives for the sake of our child. How do I handle this?
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Dec 6, 2018 04:26
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She made me crazy, amd yet I love her. A little bit of background before I hop into the story, I am a 28 yr old trans man who at the time this story took place was just lesbian. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, gender dysphoria, and unspecified personality disorder (working on specifying that). I admit this so you as a reader can understand my precarious mental state that at the time was largely misdiagnosed and untreated. Also, I've been dying to tell this story and get some unbiased input on it as I still dont understand a lot of what happened. I have talked with a therapist about this but she offered little insight. About 5 years ago I started working at a Casino in my home town. I remember her on my first day of training. For the sake of anonymity, let's call her Jessica. Jessica walked into the conference room on the third floor offices that we were utilizing and my gaze instantly was set on her. She was mid 30s, short, blonde, large chest, and an otherwise small build. She carried herself like she knew she was beautiful. I want the only one, the other men in our training class were instantly drawn to her as well. My first impression was of older version of a preppy high school drama queen. Always needing to be the center of attention. I tried to ignore her, but over the course of our training week, I found myself being more and more compelled to be around her. Jessica was sweet, inclusive, open minded, and seemed like a genuine sweet heart. Her love of country style, Jeeps, and all things rhinestone was charming. I grew up as sort of a social outcast during my high school years (band geek, anime club, goth kid) and being only 23 at the time I was pleasantly surprised to find that my original assessment of her personality was harsh and judgemental. We bacame friends. A few months later into our time together at this place of employment I had begun to develop a crush on her. I denied the attraction at first because of the age difference and of course I believe that she was so far out of my league. Eventually though, I couldn't deny it any more. I found myself seeking her company more and more. Her presence was somewhat intoxicating. She always knew what to say to make me laugh. She made me feel included and a part of the IT crowd at work. One day, we were walking around the casino floor and she admitted to me that her and her best friend and fooled around and that she considered herself bisexual even though she was married. This shocked me as she had always talked about her husband in a positive light and they seemed so in love based on what I had heard. Around this time I also heard a few of our other coworkers mention that Jessica had told them that her and her husband were swingers. She never mentioned this to me and I brushed it off as being a dumb rumor. Not much time later we were outside smoking getting ready to start our shift. She had come in that night looking deflated. When I asked her if anything was wrong, she insisted that she was fine. After a few moments of silence she asked me what I would think of her if she were to go on a date with another man that wasn't her husband. Shocked, i merely asked why she would want to cheat. She sighed, and in a quiet tone said that she found out that her husband had been cheating on her with a younger woman. She said that a guy who worked in a different department had been flirting with her recently and that she wanted to go out with him as revenge on her husband. My advice at the time was not to do it. I dont believe in cheating. A few days later she admitted to me that she had went on a date with the guy from work, I will call him DJ. DJ was an older man in his 50s, thin muscular build, and had always been nice to me on those occasions when our work paths had crossed. Jessica said that she had fun on their date and was expecting another one in the near future. DJ seemed to have a new spring in his step and I often found them talking at work. I never mentioned Jessica to him, and he never brought her up with me. We didn't talk unless it was business related. I should also mention that his son and his sons girlfriend also worked with us at the casino. A few weeks after this dating had started, Jessica began telling me that DJ's son and the girlfriend were treating her badly because the didn't approve of the relationship, although I never witnessed any negative behavior or heard any comments on the subject. Jessica also began to tell me that her husband wasn't just cheating on her with a younger girl, but that the girl was 17 and now was pregnant. Her husband and her had filed for a divorce because of this situation. She was really upset about it. I did my best to offer condolences while trying not to be secretly happy that she wasn't going to be married anymore. I also felt a little regret as I had wished to myself before that she wasn't married and would be free for me to admit that I liked her. I'm not sure exactly when during this part of everts I decided to admit to her that I liked her, but i remember the conversation. We were walking on the floor together and we were talking about famous women we thought were sexy. Our topic veered of course and landed on women in general that were attractive and I looked her straight in her blue eyes and said, "You." She stopped walking for a moment and looked at me knowingly, and said thank you. We continued walking and I confessed that I had been harboring a sort of secret crush on her for a while now, but with all the crazy she was going through, I didn't want to tell her. She simply smiled and said she was flattered. After this, I constantly was checking to see if she was hinting at all to any sort of reciprocated feelings. I started pay ok ng attention to who she was talking to. I was constantly doing checks to see if I was in the area if she would choose me to talk to over her other friends. I would catch glimpses of her and try to notice if she was looking at me, or looking for me. I will admit this is when I started to get a little obsessed. I never actually followed her around. I would just look for her as I was walking around or to predetermined locations for my job. I was always trying to catch her at lunch, on break, or before or after work just to try and spend a little more time with her. I never followed her home. I never sent her inappropriate messages, and I usually tried to let her initiate conversation because I was trying to determine the frequency at which she proffered my company to others. This didn't go to plan however as half of the time she was either enamored with DJ or talking to her other work friends. I found myself extremely jealous and annoyed at how popular she was. I harbored a deep dislike for DJ and avoided him whenever possible because I hated the reminder that she was with him and had chose him to cheat on her husband with. A few months later, Jessica started to come to work acting extremely frightened. She said people had been following her. She didn't know who but someone had been behind her all the was to work. And it wasn't the first time it had happened. She lives in the country on a large farm ran by her husband. Work was on the outskirts of the town I lived in, but took her around 20 minutes to drive to from her house so she would be able to tell of someone was following her or just taking the same route as her. I offered to drive her home, she refused. I offered to follow her home to make sure she got there safe and so she had a witness to any vehicle other than mine following her so she could report it, and she refused. She did accept my offer to walk her to her car after work and wait for her every day before work and walk her to her door. So that what I did. Every day I would escort her from the building to her car and fro her car to the building. It quickly became a routine I enjoyed. It meant I was guaranteed to be able to have some one on one time with her. During all of this, I never saw any evidence of people following her on her was in or her way out. She said they would always stop before they got to close to work and work had cameras in the parking lot. Not long after this began, she started coming to me with stories about how DJ had started to become violent with her. I never saw any bruises on her face that she claimed were expertly covered with make up. But she would divulge these horror stories to me every couple of days. I told her to dump him and if things continued to report it to HR and the authorities. She eventually agreed and came to work one day saying she had finally left him. About a week later, she approached her me one night and told me DJ had been fired a few days before but he was at the casino now harassing her. I had her point the direction she last saw him out to me and advised her to head back of house where he didn't have access. I found him near where she said and he looked ragged. He hadn't shaved in a few days and his clothes were disheveled. He noticed me before I could slip back away. He walked up to me and asked in a hurried tone where Jessica was. I said she wasn't available, and asked I could help him instead. He just said, find her and ask her to give me back my house key. I agreed and had him wait where he was. I made it about 20 feet before my boss, a Security Supevisor, pulled me aside and asked whether he had wanted. I told him that Jessica and broken up with him recently and that he was asking for his house key back. I also told him that she seemed frightened that he was there and was potentially bothering her. He called IGC (the Gaming Comission, basically ally a form of state police that handle matters regarding gambling and events that happen on casino property). DJ was shortly thereafter escorted of the property and told he was permanently evicted from our property. I saw the eviction notice a few days later as we keep binders in all people not allowed inside the casino. I was happy that the DJ drama was over with, but in the coming weeks Jessica had developed a new problem. Cancer. She told me that she had been having hearing problems on her left ear, and headaches, and seizures, and after some tests they had found a tumor in her brain. I was devastated. I was scared. I offered to be ther for whatever she needed. Btw, she was still being followed by an unknown entity and her divorce was still pending. It was during this time that I started keeping a journal of everything that she was telling me. This journal also included letter that I would write to her, although I never gave them to her. I was writing constantly during these days. I wrote her poems and I did give her few of those that I thought would make her smile. They did. She always got teary and hugged me tightly after giving her poems or other sweet sayings. Shortly after this. Her chemo started. I was worried and yet this is where the red flags started making theirselves known to me. Though she said she was gpi g through multiple doses of chemo, she never missed work and never appeared sick, nor did she lose any weight that I could outwardly see. She said she had been sick and couldn't eat much during these times, but since she had never eaten at work I never saw a change in behavior. Also, another word thing I noticed is that no one was talking about it. At the Casino, you learn that it's almost worse than high school at being a giant rumor mill. People talked about other people all the time, about everything. Secrets were extremely hard to keep and almost always gained more and more erroneous details as they were passed around. Never did I ever hear another person utter anything about her illness. I did ask her questions about her illness. I asked what type it was. She could never remember the exact name. I asked if it was operable, it wasn't. I asked how high it was. She literally said melon sized. I asked if she was showing any results with chemo after a while, she said she wasn't. It was also during this time that she told me her brother had moved into her house and her husband had moved in with his pregnant young girlfriend who I learned had her own apartment at such a younger age. It was during this time that her brother was living with her that she told me her husband, divorce still pending, had begun to harm her physically whenever they they would meet to discuss their daughter and other matters outside a lawyers office. I again never saw a bruise on her face or evidence of any physical harm. During all of this, I was still sending her poems, and escorting her to and from her vehicle, and I was extremely aware and jealous of anyone she spent her time with other than me. It got so bad at this point that I started to doubt whether she had been lying to me about things. I didn't want to not believe her, especially of she really did have cancer, but some of it wasn't adding up. There were some days that tried to cut ties with her. I wouldn't speak to her, and avoid her at work. She would wait a few hours and then approach me and ask me what's wrong, and I just couldn't hold my anger in her presence. I would always instantly be enamored with her again. It was constantly back and forth of loving her and hating her. I was also scared to ask anyone else about my doubts because I didn't want come across as not believing her, or spreading rumors about her. I also think I was secretly afraid that my doubts were true. I wanted to believe her so badly. I want long after this that she said she started radiation on her brain tumor. She even showed me a small bald patch on the nape of her neck behind her right ear where those pesky baby hairs that grow were absent. However, there was no other hair loss. Ever. Again, no signs of sickness that I could see and she still never missed work. Shortly after this, starting to feel completely crazy with the back and forth I was feeling between hating and loving her, I finally went and talked to my doctor about being put back on medication for bipolar disorder which I had been diagnosed with a few years earlier. It was she first time I ever was on medication for it. I didn't go to therapy, but my doctor did start me on a regime of medications that made me jumpy, erratic, and unable to sit still. I was only on this for a few months before I stopped taking the medications. They weren't helping with the problem and I couldn't stand how I felt on them. It was at this point that Jessica said to me that her husband told her he never had a pregnant girlfriend. Apparently it had come out during the divorce proceedings. She was adamant that they were close to their divorce finalizing. With a date set for all that nonsense to be over, I decided to ask her officially out on a date and she what she said. Up till this point we had never spent time together outside of work. I would offer but she always had an excuse as to why she couldn't attend. We used to play this game that came out during that time on gum wrappers. It was Truth or Dare on FIVE gum. I decided to buy a blank pack and write my own truth or dare. It said, "Truth - would ever consider going on a date with me? Dare - I dare you to go on a date with me." I slipped her the piece of gum with the custom wrapper on day at work and instantly her face light up and she said yes and hugged me. I was over the moon. I immediately began to plan the most extravagant date I had ever planned. It was useless though, as months went by and we could never settle on a day when she was free. She always had something going on. On top of that, she kept telling me that her husband kept postponing the court date for their divorce. Finally after a year and a half of knowing her, I decided I had had enough. I switched jobs at work which limited my contact with her. I started dating a different girl. We got engaged and I seemed to start to feel better. I still had feelings for Jessica and often thought about her. I was angry at myself everytime I felt this though, and eventually started seeing a therapist. I was in therapy for about a year, making slow progress if any, when my fiance decided enough was enough and left me. I spiraled. I have since been working on a proper diagnosis (it ok took three hospitilizations for something to happen), and I am coming to terms with my mental state and working to improve it. Recently though, I had to switch back to my old job and Jessica and I bl ow work together again. We aren't like we were though. I still struggle with feeling for her, but I dont look for her everywhere I go. I dont talk to her most days and I feel like things are as okay as they can be. I have found out though that she never got a divorce from her husband as they are still married. A mutual friend found out about some of the situation through my fiance and she said they had never filed for divorce and as far as she knew were and have always been a great couple. Also, this mutual friend said she is pretty sure Jessica's brother never lived with her. I have since thrown out my journals detailing this confusing time in my life and have started to wonder how much of it I imagined. I really felt paranoid and crazy during this time. I am still working on some personal issues in therapy and I am making progress. Hopefully one day I can truly put this all behind me. It's been five years now since Jessica first walked through that door in the conference room on training day. Please if you have any insight or suggestions, I'm listening. Tl;dr- girl I worked with probabaly lied about a bunch of attention seeking situations. I became paranoid and felt crazy, although I fell in love with her. We never went on a date, and years later i am still confused as to what happened and still have residual feeling for her.
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Dec 6, 2018 04:26
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Khazar-khum posted:I don't know what to call this: STDH, or Incel stupidity 
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Dec 6, 2018 05:15
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If my future adopted gay children ever got bullied I'd just park by the playground during recess and pick off one on his tormentors with a silenced rifle. I figured I'd only have to do this twice, tops, just so the kids don't think the first one was a fluke. If they keep coming after the second they're not gonna survive in the adult world anyway.
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Dec 6, 2018 06:07
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smothering parents these days won't let kids assassinate their own enemies
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Dec 6, 2018 06:27
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:smothering parents these days won't let kids assassinate their own enemies Predator drone parents
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Dec 6, 2018 06:28
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Attack helicopter parenting
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Dec 6, 2018 06:39
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“Traditional” views over who pays causing resentment in my (25M) relationship with my GF of one year (23F) u/Kidw0nder To start out, I love my girlfriend very much and this is not at all a slam on her. She was raised differently than me and understandably has a different view on how things should work. When we first met, I paid for everything when it came to our dates. I didn’t mind to, I enjoyed taking her out and getting to know her and she enjoyed it too. We started seeing each other and we’ve been together for a year. The issue is that the expectation for me to pay for everything never ended. It came to a head a few months ago when I told her it was exhausting to carry 100% of the financial burden and she responded by telling me that she was raised with traditional views and that this is how it works. Then I brought up splitting things more evenly and she said “I don’t like the idea of being taken out for a date and being expected to pay for part of it.” That kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but I knew I wasn’t going to get a good solution out of it. Some background info: she makes about $4,000/year less than I do and still lives with her parents. She has paid for three meals over the year we’ve been together, but we’ve split meals at my request but she usually gets really weird when I bring up going Dutch so I try to only bring it up if I’m struggling. This brings us to today, I’m still paying for everything and it’s starting to cause a lot of resentment. I don’t expect her to spend any of her money on me, but I would like for things to split down the middle since we’ve been together for so long and I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars on this relationship. If we go out, I pay for all food and drinks. If we travel I pay for all gas, food, lodging and we drive my car. The one time she drove us somewhere (4 hour round trip) she got really upset with me because “I knew she had to travel that weekend and I was making her use all of her gas.” I ended up paying her $20 in gas money to end the conflict, and she seemed happy with that outcome. She’s never once offered me gas money for any of the trips we’ve gone on. Sometimes I feel less like a boyfriend and more like a sugar daddy, even though she makes very close to what I do. She’s been very great to me, but i find it impossible to save when I’m expected to pay for everything. The resentment keeps building and I’ve started making plans to only hang out for dinner even if I’m free all day, because I know I would have to pay for our lunch out at a restaurant and then I would have to either pay for our dinner at a restaurant or I would have to buy and cook the ingredients. Any ideas on how I can broach this situation or handle the resentment? I just want things to be even but she insists that since she was raised with “traditional values” the man has to to pay for everything. And I still am, even after a year. Thoughts? Tl;dr I’m paying for everything in our relationship with my similar earning GF and i’m starting to harbor some resentment.
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Dec 6, 2018 06:44
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My (34m) sister in-law (32f) is in an abusive relationship with a guy (similar age?m). I really don't want to spend time with him. Holidays are coming. What to do?quote:
IMO he should invite the guy over, and then provoke a situation where he can stand his ground.
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Dec 6, 2018 06:52
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Baronjutter posted:Attack helicopter parenting Pit of Live Tigers Moms
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Dec 6, 2018 06:52
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therobit posted:My (34m) sister in-law (32f) is in an abusive relationship with a guy (similar age?m). I really don't want to spend time with him. Holidays are coming. What to do? They’re in the UK so the equivalent joke is something like getting him near the Queen and handing her a sword or something
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Dec 6, 2018 06:57
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6 months in and he doesn't want to call me his girlfriend u/possiblegraduate So basically I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and he still doesn't call me his girlfriend. He's [30/M] and I'm [22/F]. I asked him about it over a month ago and he told me that it's difficult for him because he's been mistreated in past relationships, and I know his last girlfriend cheated on him with his close friends. Therefore he has a problem trusting anyone and I suppose thats why he's afraid to commit. Although he doesn't call me his girlfriend we've been exclusive since a month in to seeing each other. Everyone that knows us consider us a couple. I've asked him what's the point of not calling me his girlfriend if we're doing everything a couple do, again he told me he doesn't want to rush those things and so on. We have also never said "I love you" to each other, a few times he has said that he "really likes me". Personally I find it easy to express any positive feelings I have. But he's really a introvert and I'm quite an extrovert. I'd like to tell him I love him but I've started to question whether I really do - I've started to think that maybe I should be more careful with telling someone I love them, just like he is. I'm even starting to question love! I really adore this guy, he's my best friend and my lover. It makes me so sad that he won't consider me his girlfriend, it makes me feel less important to him. I spend the weekend at his place, we meet regularly and so on. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't do all of these things if he wont commit? Why act like a couple if one doesn't want to consider be a girlfriend? I'm not sure what to do and how to approach this problem of mine. I've only met one guy before him and that was very intense and short. Therefore I don't know if I'm hurrying things or if I should view this as a big fat red flag? TL;DR; I've been dating a guy for 6 months but he still doesn't want to call me his girlfriend.
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Dec 6, 2018 06:59
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Pirate Radar posted:They’re in the UK so the equivalent joke is something like getting him near the Queen and handing her a sword or something You can stand your ground in the UK, you just have to do it with a cricket bat.
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Dec 6, 2018 07:01
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quote:I [29F] ended an emotional affair with a friend [29F] and she’s been causing a lot of drama for me ever since. "Why don't the people I emotionally hosed with want to do stuff with me?"
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Dec 6, 2018 07:12
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My boyfriend's friend keeps sending him porn. Is it disrespectful? I've been with my partner for over 6 years. We have a great life together and are the best of friends. He's been friends with a guy who is 10 years older than we are (we're 27 and he's almost 38) for the last 4 years. I don't mind his friend in person, we get on well and he even stayed with us for a week or two whilst he sorted out his accommodation between moving to the UK from Spain. The only thing that bothers me about him is that he sends my boyfriend porn videos or pictures of women from their work or places he's been that he fancies on WhatsApp all the time. My boyfriend doesn't download them so obviously isn't watching or viewing them and has said to me before that he doesn't ask for them so can't help that he's receiving them which I know isn't the case. To me, it just seems disrespectful and tasteless to send it to a guy in a relationship. I haven't made an issue of it at all - I've shrugged it off because I know it's not my boyfriend's doing being sent pictures of girls from where they work. If anything, it's really creepy. But what's worse is this guy has a girlfriend too. He doesn't want to be with her in the long term, they are in a long distance relationship (that's another story). I get him doing his own thing and being a sleaze behind her back is his problem but it's starting to grate on me that he's trying to justify that by sending it to my partner. So I guess I was wondering if it's normal or if I am wrong to be annoyed about it? I get lads 'banter' but this is more creepy than that. He's just really odd and his behaviour is grating on me. Do women think differently to men - I wouldn't do it? Tldr; boyfriend's friend keeps sending him porn and creepy pictures of women they work with. Is it disrespectful or harmless?
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Dec 6, 2018 07:28
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My (f25) new manager (m27) asked me on a date in front of over 20 other coworkers. This really will be short and sweet. I work in tech, on the engineering team so a very male dominated workplace of course. I just started a new job because at my last job my manager confessed his love to me and then made my life hell over a series of months. He ended with threatening my job if I didn't sleep with him. I immediately began searching for a new job and got a way better offer. On my last day I reported him for everything and submitted a bunch of documentation. They performed a formal investigation and he was officially fired (I just got the news). My new job was a better offer anyways, and I feel like the old company did me so right in the end. So it's all okay now. But, I started this job and met someone who would be a manager over me (there are 3 people that fill this role as my manager, the structure in tech is kind of weird). On my third day, my new manager was teaching a workshop for 20 new-hires and myself. There were 2 other women present, the rest were men. So in the middle of the workshop someone asks him about some event he was attending, and he goes "Oh I'm not sure I'm going now, my friend had something come up." And then he goes "Kaylee, do you want to go with me? You'd love it" And everyone turns to look at me and I turned red and went "uhhhh" and he says "So yes then? Great" and carries on with the workshop. I'm not sure if he really meant to ask me on a date or if this was just an odd display of dominance in front of the new hires. Either way, I'm terrified of ending up in the same situation again. I am pretty sure he likes me. I'm pretty shaken up and not sure how to handle this. We work directly together one on one. Our company is a tech startup so there's no real "HR" (not that this would justify HR, but just in case) or policies. He definitely flirts with me in our meetings and I'm just not sure how to handle this. tldr; my manager asked me out in front of a bunch of new-hires. I'm not sure how to handle this type of interest in the workplace.
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Dec 6, 2018 07:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Our company is a tech startup
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Dec 6, 2018 07:45
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Flannelette posted:"Why don't the people I emotionally hosed with want to do stuff with me?" The comments were wild on this one. It basically came down to OP being salty because the former friend she jerked around didn't invite her to a welcome back party. quote:She used to invite me to gatherings because we are in a close knit clique that regularly gets together. Some have been overseas and she’s hosting the reunion. She now doesn’t want me to come even though she’s invited me to group gatherings in the past and it honestly just feels petty. LOL. quote:Neither of us considered it an affair at the time because we weren’t doing anything physical and never did. Back then I would have classified us as best friends. But I think it’s clear now she’s in love with me and I was confiding in her things I wasn’t telling my gf. Since ending things with her my gf and I are stronger than ever.
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Dec 6, 2018 07:46
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (f25) new manager (m27) asked me on a date in front of over 20 other coworkers. Just  all men in the tech sector.
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Dec 6, 2018 08:03
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Xik posted:Just
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Dec 6, 2018 08:20
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (f25) new manager (m27) asked me on a date in front of over 20 other coworkers. Nothing will beat the Chinese Olympic athlete proposing to another, at her medal ceremony.
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Dec 6, 2018 09:39
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Haifisch posted:My (26F) boyfriend (28M) refuses to meet my parents. We have been dating for three years. Is she using the term "gaslighting" correctly here? I thought it was when someone made you doubt your sanity/memory.
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Dec 6, 2018 09:46
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Boyfriend (28m) made a 'joke', I(26f) think I want to break up with him. Goddamn, this is heartbreaking. One of the hardest things for abuse survivors is getting people to believe you. Having someone you love just go, nope, don't believe you and even sympathising with the abuser is like a punch to the guts. Good on her for having the strength to kick his worthless arse out. Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Dec 6, 2018 |
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Dec 6, 2018 10:12
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Beachcomber posted:Is she using the term "gaslighting" correctly here? I thought it was when someone made you doubt your sanity/memory. no, but then the term has been so misused as to become almost meaningless. From the movie/play, it is indeed a form of abuse where the abuser *deliberately* manipulates their victim into doubting their own sanity/memory of events. I've seen and heard it used for so many things that aren't that, generally it's some kind of psychological abuse, but not that specific (though I had to bite my tongue when a friend accused her not abusive partner of "gaslighting" during an argument in a group setting because he remembered the plot of a book slightly differently than her and had accidentally dropped a spoiler by not remembering something was revealed part way through rather than early on, she can be a bit of a drama queen when she's riled up)
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Dec 6, 2018 13:09
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