- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 13, 2024 11:25
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- alnilam
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Thanos but you've already signed away all the rights to your likeness to HRONIS grape corp so nobody fears you because they just think you're "the grape guy"
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Dec 6, 2018 18:41
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- Fredrik1
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Gopherslayer
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Space breath, you can breathe in space but you also can not figure out how to get back down.
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Dec 6, 2018 19:24
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- 504
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by R. Guyovich
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Superman but nobody appreciates you because you "have it too easy" and all your friendships with other heroes fall apart when you reveal that along with all your other powers you also do their one thing better than they do
Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Dec 6, 2018
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 6, 2018 19:28
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- alnilam
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Thanks for posting in byob. Please read the rules thread
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Dec 6, 2018 19:39
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- Dungeon Ecology
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you can talk with animals but only the really racist ones
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Dec 6, 2018 23:05
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- vanisher
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Thanos but you've already signed away all the rights to your likeness to HRONIS grape corp so nobody fears you because they just think you're "the grape guy"
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Dec 6, 2018 23:37
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- google THIS
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Batman, but your archenemy is also Batman so you both spend all day and night in your caves trying to out-contingency-plan each other.
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Dec 7, 2018 03:37
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- Zorblack
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And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.
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Superhuman strength but to maintain your powerful body you have to eat like 12,000 calories a day or you become weakened to the point of fainting. Wake up and eat. Eat while driving. Slam a protein shake before a fight. Pound a couple whoppers while interviewing with the local news.
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Dec 7, 2018 05:02
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- Zorblack
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And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.
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Superhuman speed for up to five hours, but the longer you push it, the longer you experience symptoms similar to meth withdrawal afterwards.
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Dec 7, 2018 05:07
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- vanisher
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I can type really fast but I end up with carpal tunnel
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Dec 7, 2018 08:11
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- Slush Garbo
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FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
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I can fly, but it gives me mono
Can breathe underwater, but get explosive diarrhea
Invisibility, but there's a loud beep if I back up
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Dec 7, 2018 08:29
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- Slush Garbo
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FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
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Invisibility, but it tickles
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Dec 7, 2018 08:35
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- super sweet best pal
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You can control plants and make them grow really fast but only ones you're allergic to.
You can shapeshift into animals but your apartment has a no pets clause.
Talk to inanimate objects but they don't say anything useful as they're stricken with the horror of their sudden sapience.
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Dec 7, 2018 13:01
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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You can teleport, but there's a 50-50 chance your clothing will be left behind.
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Dec 7, 2018 19:03
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- Zorblack
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And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.
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You can teleport, but there's a 50-50 chance your clothing will be left behind.
I like those odds.
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Dec 7, 2018 20:27
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- google THIS
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Just be already naked, problem solved.
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Dec 7, 2018 20:36
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- bare bottom pancakes
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Production: Complete
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how convenient that i wont have to strip when i arrive
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Dec 7, 2018 21:11
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- Space Taxi
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You have superhuman muscle strength but normal joints, so whenever you try to impress girls by lifting a truck you just rip your arms off. (Goth girls are into it)
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Dec 7, 2018 22:55
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- Karate Bastard
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Can sleep through anything
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Dec 7, 2018 22:57
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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Can read minds, but it only works on politicians, religious zealots, and telemarketers.
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Dec 7, 2018 23:41
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- Karate Bastard
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Ok but get this: can read minds, but it also works on politicians, religious zealots, and telemarketers. Pretty insufferable huh?
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Dec 7, 2018 23:44
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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Going well beyond inconvenient and upsetting to horrific:
Reads minds.
All the time.
Can't be selective.
Can't turn it off.
Can't forget.
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Dec 7, 2018 23:53
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- Karate Bastard
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Telepath, but can only broadcast
E: while farting
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Dec 7, 2018 23:53
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- alnilam
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Telepath, but can only broadcast
E: while farting
everyone always hearing "aaah yeah" in their heads an not sure why
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Dec 7, 2018 23:55
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- Karate Bastard
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Can only see through walls
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Dec 7, 2018 23:56
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- Karate Bastard
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Titanium stomach: can eat actual garbage with no ill effects
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Dec 8, 2018 01:19
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- super sweet best pal
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Just be already naked, problem solved.
What if you lose your powers while naked?
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Dec 8, 2018 03:20
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- Karate Bastard
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You mean like you're knurd?
Oh, oh, oh!
You fart conflagrations.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 13, 2024 11:25
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- Karate Bastard
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Also you are acutely risk aware, always knowing exactly the full range of horrific consequences that may follow each course of action, and to an exactitude of ten decimal places of probability. This awareness manifests as stomach cramps. The thought of buying ice cream gives you cold sweats.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:16
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